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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effects.

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Speaker 2: Oh shit, be back on the air.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your

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Speaker 1: girl Jess.

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Speaker 2: Hilarious.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fixing the mess. Hold on, let me

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Speaker 1: get this flm out my throat now, y'all took a vacation.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of y'all saw the vacation, the

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Speaker 1: vacation that I went on. Yes, I had fun, and

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Speaker 1: I work very very very very very hard, y'all, and

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor

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Speaker 1: last week. And I could have done a podcast from Mexico,

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Speaker 1: but I just wanted to. It seemed like every time

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Speaker 1: I go on vacation, that's all I do is work,

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Speaker 1: because the industry that I'm in.

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Speaker 2: Is a little different. If you don't work, you don't

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Speaker 2: make no goddamn money.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I can't take off and then still

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Speaker 1: get paid for vacation leave, and shit, I work for myself,

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Speaker 1: so I could have very well done that, but I

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Speaker 1: knew that y'all would understand that even I have to

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Speaker 1: clock out sometimes and not be just hilarious, but.

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Speaker 2: Be more of Jessicamore.

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Speaker 1: Y'all and I had the best time, but now it's

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Speaker 1: time to get back to work because y'all been missing me.

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Speaker 1: So we're about to jump right in now. This is

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Speaker 1: someone who has an update. I'm gonna give y'all just

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Speaker 1: a quick backstory on what she's updating us on. All right,

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Speaker 1: So sometime last year, this lady had wrote this to me.

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Speaker 1: My best friend been married for eleven years with a

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Speaker 1: boyfriend of nine years who was married to his wife

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Speaker 1: of over fifteen years. I've been in this friendship and

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Speaker 1: Saint it all play out very peaceful, non toxic. Both

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Speaker 1: of the men.

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Speaker 2: Love that girl to death.

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Speaker 1: Her husband will kill her if he ever found out

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Speaker 1: about the boyfriend that treats her like gold. I'm scared

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Speaker 1: for her, and the one time I tell her about herself,

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Speaker 1: we end up falling out and the wife gets a

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Speaker 1: message about them. And I would have never done that,

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Speaker 1: but she thought it was me that told her just

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Speaker 1: because we fell out. Furthermore, I am married ten years,

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Speaker 1: but her shit got me on my husband case all

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Speaker 1: the time. Anyway, should I try to fix us or

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Speaker 1: say fuck us? For her to think that I told

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Speaker 1: that woman that I got a pick of them, and

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Speaker 1: I would want to tell her business like that.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know if y'all remember that, but I

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Speaker 1: gave her some really, really really keen advice. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: might want to let that relationship go until she finished

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Speaker 1: doing what she doing, because you don't want that to

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Speaker 1: spell over into your marriage. And you already admitted that

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Speaker 1: it has been doing that. I know our husband was

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Speaker 1: probably like the fuck, what the fuck?

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Speaker 2: I knew, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: So and then also, I hope you didn't share that

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Speaker 1: with your husband because your husband probably would be looking

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Speaker 1: at you like, well, why are you still friends with

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Speaker 1: this bitch? I mean, uh uh Wayne condoning that shit,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So I definitely get it.

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Speaker 1: I would definitely I would have fallen back from her

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Speaker 1: as a friend. You know, that was just her guilty conscience,

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Speaker 1: thinking that you automatically told the wife because she thought

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Speaker 1: that she was just moving that slick for nine years

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Speaker 1: and nobody was ever gonna find out about you messing

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Speaker 1: with this other married man and you're a married woman

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Speaker 1: as well. So this is what she has to say, guys.

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Speaker 1: She's she came back and said, update on the love

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Speaker 1: triangle and lost friendship.

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Speaker 3: Here it is, Hey, Jess, I just want to give

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Speaker 3: you an update on the love triangle advice that you

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Speaker 3: gave me about my friend of twenty years and all

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Speaker 3: that good stuff and all her relationships. I didn't give

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Speaker 3: you as much context. No, the husband of course didn't know.

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Speaker 3: The boyfriend didn't know. As a matter of fact, he

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Speaker 3: don't been in the husband face that I've been in

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Speaker 3: my face. It's like a big old, r weird family

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Speaker 3: m craziest shit I ever seen. But just to update

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Speaker 3: on that situation, me and her have not we have

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Speaker 3: spoke about that situation, but I decided to move out

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Speaker 3: her way. I can't be in a person life where

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Speaker 3: there's standard there there are more rules. Is that fucked up?

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Speaker 3: And and and don't have a conscience of what you're doing.

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Speaker 3: You know, everybody don't. Ain't nobody perfect and everybody make mistakes,

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Speaker 3: he all. I I have made some myself, But you know,

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Speaker 3: I just can't live in no wrongdoing for years like

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Speaker 3: that to anybody. So it's like, I, she's just not

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Speaker 3: my type of person anymore to deal with so far

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Speaker 3: as a friendship is done, and I just love her

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Speaker 3: from a distance as far as the affairs. She stayed

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Speaker 3: in as long as she could, up until I was

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Speaker 3: held at gunpoint behind her saying she's with me, and

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Speaker 3: she was with me, she was with the do and

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Speaker 3: I'm at my house with a gun at me because

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Speaker 3: of her husband knowing she played some kind of games

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Speaker 3: and it was a mess, and I knew it was

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Speaker 3: going to end up and something deadly or something really

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Speaker 3: really horrific that will end up happening, and me just

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Speaker 3: trying to tell her to stop is the one that

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Speaker 3: had a gun point at me. But long story short,

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Speaker 3: she sat in her cake into the motherfucking cake, smushed

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Speaker 3: in her own face because it's over. For that situation.

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Speaker 3: The wife knows, everybody knows. She ended up being exposed

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Speaker 3: in a terrible way and got super duper messy. But

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Speaker 3: all I can do is just pray for But I

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Speaker 3: just wanted to give you the heads up again for

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Speaker 3: that's what it was. She was in a relationship with

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Speaker 3: this merried man for going on ten years and she

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Speaker 3: was married for that long, and it was just a

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Speaker 3: very disturbing situation that I just knew it was going

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Speaker 3: to hit her in the face. Didn't want it to

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Speaker 3: be as bad as it did. I don't want to

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Speaker 3: put too much context out there, but just know she

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Speaker 3: ain't got no fingers on the right hand. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: why they love shit is real and if anybody hear it,

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Speaker 3: just don't play with it because mos folks don't know

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Speaker 3: when they snap, they snap, they don't. Don't play with

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Speaker 3: nobody's heart, and certainly don't be in a marriage for

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Speaker 3: that long if you wanted to play with it. And

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Speaker 3: she didn't even get the fingers, didn't even get snapped

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Speaker 3: by the husband. The fingers got snapped by the boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, God damn Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, heal us.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh my god, that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So that that was a pretty detailed update.

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Speaker 2: So back to my listeners. Man, like she said, you

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Speaker 2: can't play with love.

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Speaker 1: And you know how people just automatically always think, you know,

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Speaker 1: women go crazy behind love, you know, and we do

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Speaker 1: some crazy things. No, man, people put their heart. That's

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Speaker 1: people periods. Some men that will really kill for their wives,

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Speaker 1: is women that will kill for their husbands, and then

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Speaker 1: it's people that will kill for their own heart. I

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Speaker 1: put my heart on the line for you. I gave

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Speaker 1: you my everything, and some people just can't take it.

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Speaker 1: They can't take betrayal of you know, they can't take heartbreak,

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Speaker 1: they can't take a partner cheating on them. When you

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Speaker 1: put your trust, your everything into someone and you feel

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Speaker 1: like it's reciprocated and that person.

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Speaker 2: Would never do you wrong, and then they do, you know,

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Speaker 2: some people snap.

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Speaker 1: Some people snap, and like she said, she was held

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Speaker 1: at gunpoint because her friend was lying on her. You

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Speaker 1: have to be careful these days, all days, but be careful.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of bold people out there and a

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Speaker 1: lot of people who just don't give a fuck. And

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Speaker 1: they feel like once they lost the love of their life,

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Speaker 1: they don't have anything else. They don't have anything to

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Speaker 1: live for, especially when you put your everything in one person,

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Speaker 1: because that's what you have to do for somebody to

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Speaker 1: destroy you, you have to give them everything to destroy you.

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Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure that husband and boyfriend boyfriend both

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Speaker 1: felt destroyed by her, like the girl who wrote me,

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Speaker 1: Like she said in the first story, them men both

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Speaker 1: loved her, both treated her like gold.

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Speaker 2: And her husband she really meant what she said.

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Speaker 1: Her husband will kill her if he found out, and

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Speaker 1: she knows that first hand. Because he was ready to

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Speaker 1: kill her, kill the friend because the wife then gave

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Speaker 1: him a fucking alibi and he pulled up on a friend.

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Speaker 2: All right, shame with you. I got you at gunpoint. Now.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's crazy as wrong as

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Speaker 2: it is.

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Speaker 1: That's all the wife's fault. You know what I'm saying. Like, damn, y'all,

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Speaker 1: that's the wife's fault. Love can make you crazy, man.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be that hard.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't.

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Speaker 1: All you how to do is say, look, I'm not happy, communicate.

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Speaker 1: Let somebody know. When people are in love, they are

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Speaker 1: in love. You gotta let somebody know if you ain't

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Speaker 1: feeling the same. You always want to be on the

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Speaker 1: same page in a marriage, Yes, in a relationship, but

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Speaker 1: in a marriage, be on the same page. That's a covenant.

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Speaker 1: That's a contract that y'all signed. That's a lot.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. Y'all are binded legally.

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Speaker 1: You can't just walk away from a marriage like you

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Speaker 1: can walk away from a boyfriend, a relationship, a friendship.

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Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying. So y'all just be careful

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Speaker 1: out there. That was That was a sad update. But

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Speaker 1: I hope that this actually teaches her friend or her

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Speaker 1: ex friend, you don't play with love next time. You

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Speaker 1: could lose your life. Good thing that you lost one hand.

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Speaker 1: You're walking around all nubby now, but you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, You could have lost your fucking life.

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Speaker 2: Hold up, hold up.

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Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, but listen to just

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Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,

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Speaker 1: you'll listen. Cay moving on to the next story. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is not a voice, No, this is written. It

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Speaker 1: says Jess. This isn't really mess, but more of a

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Speaker 1: young and just asking for advice from somebody who's been

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Speaker 1: through it. So I'm twenty three and I'm planning a

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Speaker 1: big move. I just got out of a long abusive

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Speaker 1: relationship that lasted four years, and prior to that, I

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Speaker 1: had been in three other relationships that lasted a year

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Speaker 1: and a half, three years, and two years. So if

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Speaker 1: that tells you anything, it should tell you I'm not

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Speaker 1: the best at being alone. So that brings me to

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Speaker 1: my question, how do I go about being alone and

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Speaker 1: learning to love and accept myself. I plan on moving

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Speaker 1: out of state by myself in an attempt to jumpstart

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Speaker 1: my life and to stop being afraid of the world.

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Speaker 1: But yet again, I'm young and I've literally never done

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Speaker 1: anything alone. I've lived in the same city, same state,

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Speaker 1: my whole life. Thank you in advance, Jess.

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Speaker 2: I love you. I don't always like what you say,

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Speaker 2: but damn you do.

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Speaker 1: Keep it real, and to be honest, I sure do

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Speaker 1: be needing to hear it much respect. I've been a

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Speaker 1: fan since I was too young to be watching you.

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Speaker 1: By the way, yeah, girl, I've been and out of

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Speaker 1: relationships since I was thirteen. You ain't gotta tell me.

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Speaker 1: My mama already has. This is the reason I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to run away. Okay, okay, wow, I tell you what

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Speaker 1: you don't need to be doing running away. It's okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: I love how you keep saying my whole life. You

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Speaker 1: only have been here for twenty three years, girl, some

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Speaker 1: of my whole life. My whole life. Oh shit, you're

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Speaker 1: a guy. My bad, because I'm trying to see something

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Speaker 1: real quick.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to Oh no, okay, you're a girl.

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Speaker 2: You're a girl, okay, all right, all right, all right,

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Speaker 2: but you look like a tom girl. My bad, my bad,

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Speaker 2: all right, Yeah, you're.

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Speaker 1: Only twenty three. Boo, you don't need to be running

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Speaker 1: away looking for no damn love. That's not what you

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Speaker 1: need to do. You want me to give you advice

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Speaker 1: on how to be alone. You just have to learn

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Speaker 1: how to love yourself, you know, because if you're always

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Speaker 1: with somebody, you never get to know yourself. That's how

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Speaker 1: I know you don't know yourself. You know you're trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out right now how to be alone. And

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Speaker 1: you're only twenty three. You know what I'm saying. You're

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Speaker 1: just the lover. That's what it is. You know, you're

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Speaker 1: a hopeless romantic. If you don't know what that is.

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Speaker 1: You know, you give romance a try, no matter what

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Speaker 1: it is, who it is, what level you are in

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Speaker 1: your life, the status that you are, whatever, You're always

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Speaker 1: willing to give love a try, and you always see

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Speaker 1: the good in people. You got to give me more clarity, though,

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Speaker 1: Why are these relationships only lasting, you know, but so long?

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Speaker 1: And I honestly feel like the three year and the

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Speaker 1: two year was all right, and then you know you

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Speaker 1: got out of a four year. I mean, it ain't

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Speaker 1: like you had that. If you add all that up,

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Speaker 1: that's nine years. It ain't like you had nine relationships

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Speaker 1: in nine years. You had three in nine years. You know,

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Speaker 1: some people double your age been in thousands of relationships.

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Speaker 1: Some people younger than you have been in thousands of relationships.

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Speaker 1: They can't even count on their hands how many people,

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Speaker 1: how many partners they had, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So I think that you're being a little bit too

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Speaker 1: hard on yourself, but you're also trying to grow up

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Speaker 1: too fast, and you got your whole life ahead of you.

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Speaker 2: What do you want to do? What are your dreams?

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Speaker 2: What are your goals?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Fuck love? Right now? Like what do you want to do?

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Speaker 1: Because the quicker you figure out what you want to do,

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Speaker 1: which is something that you don't want to rush, but

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Speaker 1: just put your focus there, you may fall into like

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Speaker 1: your career or which your lifelong goal may be, and

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Speaker 1: you may find your person in that journey, you know.

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Speaker 1: So you have to focus on what you're going to

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Speaker 1: do with the rest of your life other than love.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Because that shit gonna come.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna come, just like you shouldn't chase being rich,

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Speaker 1: Never chase being rich, never chase love, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Because all that shit just comes when you're

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Speaker 1: already doing everything right, you know, and what you're not

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Speaker 1: doing right right now is self love. You're not loving

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Speaker 1: on yourself. So that's just easy, babe. You just got

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Speaker 1: to figure out what you want to do in your life.

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Speaker 1: Talking about career wise, what are you good at, what's

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Speaker 1: gonna make you like? What's your passion?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: And if everything comes back to love, then you should

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Speaker 1: be a goddamn therapist. You should do something that gears

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Speaker 1: to love. You could be a love doctor. You could

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Speaker 1: be like Hits. You could set people up, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and you can do that. You can

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Speaker 1: be a relationship specialist.

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Speaker 2: You can do that.

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Speaker 1: You've been in three of them, one abusive. I don't

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Speaker 1: know about the other two or how they ended, but

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Speaker 1: I think you'll be fine.

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Speaker 2: I think you'll be great.

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Speaker 1: Don't think too hard about it, baby girl, Hit me back,

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Speaker 1: update me love you. If you love me, you'll listen

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Speaker 1: to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And before we end this episode today, we got one

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Speaker 1: left one update.

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Speaker 2: This is actually one of my favorite stories. Man.

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Speaker 1: This girl was really stressed out about you know, she

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Speaker 1: had married somebody, and she married you. Know, she was

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Speaker 1: married to her wife for a while, and the wife

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Speaker 1: cheated on her, made a baby with a guy who

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Speaker 1: didn't want nothing to do with the baby, and then

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Speaker 1: so she wanted to run back to our wife because

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Speaker 1: she knew that this girl wouldn't let her be just

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Speaker 1: out there with a baby by herself and just see her,

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Speaker 1: you know, try to raise the baby on her own.

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Speaker 1: She loved the wife and the baby so much that

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Speaker 1: she has taken on the role of the parent of

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Speaker 1: the baby. You know, she's the baby's mom, and the

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Speaker 1: girl cheated on her again, you know, just well, you

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Speaker 1: know it. It was a very messy situation. She started

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Speaker 1: using using her just for the baby and shit like that,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So it was definitely betrayal.

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Speaker 1: And this is the update that she left us. Yo.

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Speaker 4: Just I couldn't type nothing because I'm driving to work

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Speaker 4: this morning, but I wanted to say thank you dog.

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Speaker 4: Like this gonna sound kind of like out of box,

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Speaker 4: but like, I really been feeling like I couldn't go

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Speaker 4: to nobody with that shit for the longest time, and

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Speaker 4: I just been kind of feeling like I'm in my

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Speaker 4: own space with it, you know, and I've been holding

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Speaker 4: that shit in so like it felt really good to

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Speaker 4: get it out and to have you hear it and

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Speaker 4: like genuinely care, like I appreciate that, and I know

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Speaker 4: that you know, this podcast means a lot to a

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Speaker 4: lot of people. So I really just wanted to say

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Speaker 4: thank you for hearing me, man, like I'm gonna cry

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Speaker 4: dog for real and just making me feel like I'm

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Speaker 4: not I'm not alone all the time and this shit, man.

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Speaker 1: Thank you damn it. Y'all know my ass is a

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Speaker 1: cry baby too. I'm sitting there, I started fucking and

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Speaker 1: this was a tear jerker before she even said she

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Speaker 1: was about to cry. I really do appreciate you, baby girl,

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Speaker 1: I really really do thank you for trusting me with

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Speaker 1: your story. You know what I'm saying, because this is

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Speaker 1: a platform where you have to be strong enough to

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Speaker 1: exposure you're you know, whatever you're going through, you know,

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Speaker 1: because other people are listening, and we let people intell

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Speaker 1: our lives into our lives, and you just never know

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Speaker 1: what somebody can do with your information. So I always

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Speaker 1: thank everybody for us for even trusting me to help

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Speaker 1: fix their mess.

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Speaker 2: I love you too, I really love you, like seriously.

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Speaker 1: I love everybody who I help, you know, even the

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Speaker 1: ones I can't help, I love them too, you know,

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Speaker 1: because that's what everybody needs, you know, just just fucking love,

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Speaker 1: love those big hugs.

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Speaker 2: Even the toughest people.

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Speaker 1: They need to just break down and cry and just scream,

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Speaker 1: you know, just go in your yard and scream and

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Speaker 1: then get it all out.

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Speaker 2: Everybody needs a release.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 1: This world it could fuck you up if you let it.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's cruel. This world ain't like what it

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Speaker 1: used to be, you know. So I'm here. I'm always here, baby,

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Speaker 1: So even if you want to, if you got some

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Speaker 1: old mess, let me know. She also left us with

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Speaker 1: this piece of great news. She typed this part. We

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Speaker 1: just went today to officially fil for our divorce. The

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Speaker 1: process would only take a few weeks and I'll be

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Speaker 1: moving out of state for a month or so for work.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Jess for giving me support when I needed it.

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Speaker 1: I'm updating you like you my bestie or something. Look

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Speaker 1: at my foolish ass, girls, stay blessed. You ain't foolish

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Speaker 1: at all. No, you ain't foolish. You would be foolish

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Speaker 1: if you was still in that marriage. And I'm proud

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Speaker 1: of you, proud of you. I'll be loving how with

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Speaker 1: my motherfucking people.

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Speaker 5: Man.

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Speaker 1: I love it, I love it, and I love you,

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Speaker 1: and I love every listener. And make sure you tune

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Speaker 1: into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

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Speaker 1: iHeart make sure anywhere you get your podcast, that's where

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Speaker 1: you can find me at And then my deepest Pam voice.

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Speaker 2: Peace.

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Speaker 5: Ta class Man.

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Speaker 1: Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and

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Speaker 1: The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

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Speaker 1: favorite shows.

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Speaker 5: Passsssssssssssssssssssssss