Speaker 1: So, first of all, last time I canceled because my
Speaker 1: mother passed away, I think like two days or three
Speaker 1: days before. And what was weird was I really did
Speaker 1: want to even talk to you then, but I didn't
Speaker 1: want to sort of hijacket with like emotion and my stuff.
Speaker 1: But I had this weird feeling about you, like I've
Speaker 1: wanted to have you on and I don't even know
Speaker 1: anything about you. I've just seen clips. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know I've seen your work, but I don't know. I
Speaker 1: like felt connected to you, and I kind of wanted
Speaker 1: to have you on even though my mom had just passed,
Speaker 1: and now reading about you like it could have happened,
Speaker 1: I just I don't know, I feel you. So thank
Speaker 1: you for being here because I'm really just excited to
Speaker 1: talk to you and it's just like an instinct.
Speaker 2: So thank you.
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me baby.
Speaker 1: So I've been reading about you, and You've had a
Speaker 1: really interesting life of so many traumatic experiences. And the
Speaker 1: thing this term that I was talking about with regards
Speaker 1: to my mother and her death, the term that came
Speaker 1: out of that was generational trauma. And when I was
Speaker 1: reading about you, I literally was like, this woman has
Speaker 1: experienced generational trauma from what happened with your brother, with
Speaker 1: your parents, with their parents, and like, I don't know
Speaker 1: why that just like was the first thing I was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: I could have talked to her about this stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because oftentimes we want to make it about the
Speaker 3: culture and white and black and you can't relate because
Speaker 3: you're this and you're that. And then when you come
Speaker 3: down to it, our shit is almost the same, the trauma,
Speaker 3: the relationships with family, those things. If you say, now,
Speaker 3: close your eyes and tell me are the white or
Speaker 3: black when it comes to the trauma and families and
Speaker 3: how we've been told to hide it, be quiet, let
Speaker 3: it go. So I think that it's all relatable when
Speaker 3: it just comes to human human life and human people.
Speaker 1: Well it's right. And women stifle a lot and just
Speaker 1: take it on their back and we wear it in
Speaker 1: our bodies energetically. So you are a state. You started
Speaker 1: as a stand up and an actress, you were dared
Speaker 1: to be to get on stage and you just got
Speaker 1: up and on an open mic, and what did you
Speaker 1: what did you do? You had no plan? You literally
Speaker 1: just stood up or you planned before you didn't.
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing, Bethany I never planned on being
Speaker 3: an actress. Being an actress was something that as a
Speaker 3: little girl, I said, Oh, one day, I just said,
Speaker 3: I know I'm going to be famous. Now I did,
Speaker 3: I knew, I knew and everything in me I was
Speaker 3: going to be famous.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. I relate to that too, because as a kid,
Speaker 1: I thought about trying to act. But I don't think
Speaker 1: I was actually very good, not unlike you is good,
Speaker 1: but I wanted. I think it has but I think
Speaker 1: that has to do generational trauma too. You're like craving
Speaker 1: some adoration and love, and that's sort of embarrassing to
Speaker 1: admit when you're younger because it seems so thirsty and desperate.
Speaker 2: But when you get.
Speaker 1: Older, like you're I don't know how old do you
Speaker 1: mind if I ask cowbled, You're I'm fiftic.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So as you get to be the sage, like what
Speaker 1: is there to lie about? What is there physically to
Speaker 1: lie about? Mentally emotionally, like here we are, we're on
Speaker 1: the back nine, let's be honest. So I feel like
Speaker 1: and we might not have even been in touch with it,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, I just wanted to be somebody and
Speaker 1: to be something and someone to pay attention to me,
Speaker 1: because no one in my house was, and my mother
Speaker 1: wouldn't even take me to go to like try to
Speaker 1: go into the city to figure out how you could
Speaker 1: even audition. And she always taunted me by telling me
Speaker 1: someone once offered me a Disney contract, but she turned
Speaker 1: it down. My whole life, I was like obsessed with that,
Speaker 1: chasing whatever that was or wasn't. But so like you,
Speaker 1: I kind of thought I was gonna be something, but
Speaker 1: you really thought you would actually accomplish it, because I
Speaker 1: don't know that I really thought I would. I just
Speaker 1: thought it was like what I wanted to do. I
Speaker 1: don't know that I thought I could land it. You
Speaker 1: thought you could like land it did.
Speaker 3: Everything that has taking place in my life. I willed it,
Speaker 3: and I already saw it. And I say that humbly.
Speaker 3: That humbly. I saw me getting an NAACP award before
Speaker 3: I got it. I saw getting that Oscar award before
Speaker 3: I got it, Like I saw those things before they
Speaker 3: actually happened, and I believed it. Like I used to
Speaker 3: sign my autograph, I used to wrap a talel around
Speaker 3: me in the bathroom as a little girl and hold
Speaker 3: the brush in my hand and say I want to
Speaker 3: think because I saw that. I believe that. So I
Speaker 3: understand when people say, well, how'd you happen? They say,
Speaker 3: I willed it. In this industry we're in, we've got
Speaker 3: to will what we're looking for. And even with the
Speaker 3: black ball, even with the fights that I'm having, I
Speaker 3: saw that too.
Speaker 1: So what do you I'm so jumping out of place
Speaker 1: because you're inspiring me because one of the things I
Speaker 1: was gonna ask you later was like what do you
Speaker 1: what do you want? And what do you see happening?
Speaker 1: So what do you see now? Because I know you're
Speaker 1: fighting for a lot of different things, and you're being
Speaker 1: very vocal, and you're being fearless, and it's got to
Speaker 1: be liberating but also slightly scary talking about unfair practices
Speaker 1: like disparity, things like that, so inequality. So what do
Speaker 1: you see happening? What are you envision is going to happen?
Speaker 3: What I envision happening. I do believe that Tyler Perry,
Speaker 3: I do believe that Oprah Winfrey. I do believe those
Speaker 3: two people will come around. That's why I won't stop
Speaker 3: and to say to is it a little bit scary?
Speaker 3: There's no fear in it at all, Bethany Nice, There's
Speaker 3: because I believe that the moment I show fear is
Speaker 3: the moment the universe says you don't believe it and
Speaker 3: you don't trust it. So I have an amazing husband
Speaker 3: who was truly a king. That takes all doubt, all fear,
Speaker 3: all anks, all of that is removed. Because when I'm home,
Speaker 3: I'm a wife, I'm a mommy, I'm a grandmother. I
Speaker 3: am not the business. I am the things that signed
Speaker 3: up for.
Speaker 1: You have a foundation, a strong foundation. So the business
Speaker 1: is the frosting, but you have the cake at home, like.
Speaker 3: That's come on, you put that together.
Speaker 1: So you're yeah, the business is the which I get
Speaker 1: completely too. The business is a vehicle, a tool, and
Speaker 1: you need to use it because it's certainly used you.
Speaker 1: So them coming around, what's the definition of Oprah Winfrey
Speaker 1: and Tyler Perry coming around? What's the definition of that?
Speaker 3: Did you see when Lee Daniels gave a public apology?
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: Research it. Lee Daniels walked on stage while I was
Speaker 3: on stage and gave a public apology. My coming around
Speaker 3: for them, Bethany, is for them to do the same
Speaker 3: thing to give up public apology. And I don't think
Speaker 3: what they understand that makes them even bigger because what
Speaker 3: they did is said, let me show you I'm human,
Speaker 3: Let me not be this powerhouse that you better be
Speaker 3: afraid of me, you better not say anything. And don't
Speaker 3: you know what I can do? Well? Okay, but don't
Speaker 3: you know how bigger you will be once you take
Speaker 3: accountability for the shit that you created and say, hey,
Speaker 3: I got to own that.
Speaker 1: And literally, you don't want an opportunity, You don't want
Speaker 1: anything financial. You want acknowledgment. That's all you want is
Speaker 1: just an acknowledgement.
Speaker 3: And I don't want you to put words in my mouth.
Speaker 3: I do want an acknowledgement that you know what we did,
Speaker 3: you wrong? And yes, I want financial accountability from Todd Perry,
Speaker 3: Yes I do. That man's cost my family tens of
Speaker 3: millions of dollars to a lie that he admitted to.
Speaker 3: That's why everybody we interview with if we send them
Speaker 3: the tape, because I don't want to put words in
Speaker 3: anyone's mouth. You admit it to doing wrong, so now
Speaker 3: you have to be accountable for that.
Speaker 2: And do you see it happening? Do you see it happening.
Speaker 3: I do you do if you're paying attention, No one
Speaker 3: escapes if they're right sep paying attention baby to the
Speaker 3: way the world is going. Right now, you don't escape
Speaker 3: when you've been, in my humble opinion, malicious on purpose,
Speaker 3: you can't escape it.
Speaker 1: Now, what about the industry overall? Because you speak, you
Speaker 1: you've spoken, You've been very vocal about that. You would
Speaker 1: be Melissa McCarthy. Which is a great reference because it's
Speaker 1: something that is tangible. You've really laid it out as
Speaker 1: something people could understand. I mean the career you've had.
Speaker 1: I mean most people have not won the awards. You
Speaker 1: are an award decorated actress, comedian. So what can how
Speaker 1: do you see that laying out?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Where does where does the come up and tap happen
Speaker 1: with the industry? How does that disparity get reconciled?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think that there are some people
Speaker 3: Bethany that are afraid to touch Monique and Monique' husband
Speaker 3: and then and there are some people that say, you
Speaker 3: know what, we just want to do good business. That's it.
Speaker 3: We want to do good business. And when the business
Speaker 3: is over, you go enjoy your space and I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go enjoy mine, and those people are out there so
Speaker 3: to say, how does this thing go? Well, we never
Speaker 3: know how tomorrow's gonna go because we don't know if
Speaker 3: we're going to be in it. However, if we are
Speaker 3: lucky enough to be in it, if we get the
Speaker 3: blessing to be in it, we keep fighting to make
Speaker 3: it better, not just for no need. But they are
Speaker 3: some little girls that are not here yet that if
Speaker 3: my story is daemed important enough and they get a
Speaker 3: chance to read it, what they will say is that
Speaker 3: woman kept swinging for us until she left this earth.
Speaker 1: And how is it working now? And how is how
Speaker 1: is your career right now? Like the opportunities, like what's
Speaker 1: the tide, what's the temperature?
Speaker 2: How is that going well?
Speaker 3: Right now? I just got off of a thirty city
Speaker 3: tour with Kat Williams, who was absolutely incredible, and the
Speaker 3: movie The Deliverances get ready to come out with Lee
Speaker 3: Daniels Netflix. So that's what's happening.
Speaker 2: When we're good people, people.
Speaker 3: Would always say to me, what's next, what's next? And
Speaker 3: I would give them my resume. Baby, well I got
Speaker 3: this and this and this, and then the universe said,
Speaker 3: do you believe what that's what's next, because we got
Speaker 3: something else in mind for you. So when people say, Monique,
Speaker 3: what's snacks, my honest answer to you is I hope
Speaker 3: tomorrow because.
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that that that's interesting too, about like getting
Speaker 1: up on stage doing stand up because someone dares you.
Speaker 2: You're a person who.
Speaker 1: You come from a place of yes, it sounds like,
Speaker 1: and you just go with what's presented in front of you.
Speaker 1: And I don't literally search for any ideas. I don't
Speaker 1: search for anything. I don't go for deals. I like
Speaker 1: listen to what's going on and whatever either I'm interested
Speaker 1: in or when something knocks on my door. So many
Speaker 1: people think that the key to success is being like
Speaker 1: having a whole plan and a roadmap. And I'm exactly
Speaker 1: like you in the sense that I was on Bravo
Speaker 1: and I did have a feeling in my mind that
Speaker 1: I was going to get a spin off. I was
Speaker 1: like sort of like envisioning it, like you said. But
Speaker 1: I always just kind of if you're not open to
Speaker 1: the road, you're gonna miss so many things. So I
Speaker 1: do get that. But you're always working. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you're like you're in the car. The car is no,
Speaker 1: I'm not no right now. It sounds like, well, when people.
Speaker 3: Say you're always working, there are people that die in
Speaker 3: their hotel rooms, Bethany because they were always working. There
Speaker 3: are people that die on the stage because they're always working.
Speaker 3: I take pride and not always working.
Speaker 1: It seems like you always have something that you've just
Speaker 1: been doing or can be doing. It seems like you're
Speaker 1: in you have some version of being in demand by
Speaker 1: somebody at some time and someone wants to do something
Speaker 1: with you.
Speaker 3: I was in demand yesterday and I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 3: what they were demanding. So my son Jonathan is now
Speaker 3: trying to eat really healthy, and he said, Mommy, can
Speaker 3: you make me some of them recy cup with my
Speaker 3: almond butter crunch. So this morning I got up, baby
Speaker 3: and method that damn chocolate and put it and I
Speaker 3: got it. Complete it. When I finished talking.
Speaker 2: To you, Oh I got it.
Speaker 1: I just got all the sweetish candy for my daughter
Speaker 1: and she just called me crying from school because she
Speaker 1: lost a bracelet. I got her and she's apoplectic, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's okay, Everything's going to be okay. Being
Speaker 1: a mother, especially at this age, is more valuable. You
Speaker 1: really appreciate it, and you know where we've come from.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you broke the chain from your childhood.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you.
Speaker 3: Have when you say break the chain? I'm just doing
Speaker 3: it different. Break the chain is a good one because
Speaker 3: I no longer want When I was coming up, a
Speaker 3: lot of things felt like to me from my parents
Speaker 3: it was a burden. Like it felt like it was
Speaker 3: a burden to take me school shopping. It felt like
Speaker 3: it was a burden to say, you know, I need
Speaker 3: you to check my homework. It always felt like it
Speaker 3: was this pressure. And I don't know what my parents
Speaker 3: were dealing with at the time, right. So with my children,
Speaker 3: I never want them to feel like it's a burden.
Speaker 3: And I got a second chance at motherhood. And I
Speaker 3: say that openly to people, and I've always said it
Speaker 3: because when I had my first son, I was busy
Speaker 3: trying to be famous. I was trying to make it.
Speaker 3: I was trying to give us a lifestyle. So whatever
Speaker 3: college he wanted to go to, there would be no questions.
Speaker 3: Whatever he wanted in life, there would be no questions.
Speaker 3: But what I wasn't doing was putting in the nurturing
Speaker 3: because I was tired. I was trying to do it all.
Speaker 3: So the sacrifice was my son. The first son didn't
Speaker 3: get the nurturing mother. Well, I prayed for a second
Speaker 3: chance and I received it, and I refused to sacrifice
Speaker 3: it because I learned that lesson.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know that you've both been public speaking
Speaker 1: about this, your son from your first relationship, and you
Speaker 1: feel have you have you forgiven yourself? Have you given
Speaker 1: yourself grace and like or do you still feel guilt?
Speaker 2: I don't feel so.
Speaker 3: See there's a lot that's being left out. My son
Speaker 3: and I sat down and had a conversation as to adults,
Speaker 3: and we both apologized to one another. We both did
Speaker 3: and at that moment we ask for each other's forgiveness
Speaker 3: and we gave it. So at that point, I don't
Speaker 3: play backsies. I don't play now. We had the conversation Monday,
Speaker 3: but it's Tuesday. It's like we didn't talk and Wednesday
Speaker 3: we're mad. I don't play backsies. So for my son
Speaker 3: and I, as I've said on Shannon's shop, I hope
Speaker 3: time heals it. We can only let time see what
Speaker 3: it's gonna do. And as I said publicly about my son.
Speaker 3: We'll see how it plays out. Because one thing about me,
Speaker 3: Beth and me, how I do anything is how I
Speaker 3: do everything.
Speaker 1: I've said that. That's really funny. I said that on
Speaker 1: a show. Yeah yeah, business personal for you too. Business
Speaker 1: you personal is business? Business is personal. Everything matters.
Speaker 3: Everything matters.
Speaker 1: Yes, everything matters. So do you feel whole about it?
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you have a hole in your
Speaker 1: heart about like?
Speaker 3: Is it?
Speaker 1: Is it unrest that it's not resolved and or it's
Speaker 1: just a it's a it's a moment in time, like
Speaker 1: this is just a moment in time.
Speaker 3: It's a moment in time. And I'll say this to
Speaker 3: the mothers out there or the father's out there that
Speaker 3: feel like, what can I do? There's nothing you can do.
Speaker 3: If you've apologized for your missteps, if you've asked for
Speaker 3: forgiveness and forgiveness was given, there's nothing you can do.
Speaker 3: So now, my son is a thirty four year old man.
Speaker 3: Whenever he's ready, guess where I am. Guess where my
Speaker 3: husband is.
Speaker 1: And you love him, you feel connected to him like
Speaker 1: he's your son.
Speaker 3: Feel I carried that baby. I laid down for that
Speaker 3: one baby. Okay, for that one.
Speaker 1: Of course, Yes, well I hope that gets resolved because
Speaker 1: it's time goes by so quickly and then something happens,
Speaker 1: someone gets sick, and then everyone wants to like make
Speaker 1: up for it, and it just it's like it's hard
Speaker 1: for people to see the forest from the trees in
Speaker 1: the moment, you know, myself included, like and not everyone connects.
Speaker 1: You can have a blood family member that you don't
Speaker 1: necessarily connect with and you can have guilt about that.
Speaker 2: I've had that myself, and.
Speaker 1: I just think it's important to communicate on some level,
Speaker 1: even the way you're saying it right now, like to
Speaker 1: try to be vulnerable vulnerable about it because, like you said,
Speaker 1: everybody comes from their own story and it is a
Speaker 1: moment in time, you know, I, for the first time ever,
Speaker 1: I forgive my mother and also mourned her terrible childhood.
Speaker 1: Like thinking about why people aren't just the way they are.
Speaker 2: For no reason.
Speaker 1: People don't abuse for no reason, people don't drink for
Speaker 1: no reason. People have something going on behind, and if
Speaker 1: you can look at the origin of that, it makes
Speaker 1: it more palatable to understand, which is what you said
Speaker 1: earlier about where your parents came from. Why they kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, marginalize what.
Speaker 2: You were doing.
Speaker 1: So and but you have a you feel like you've
Speaker 1: gotten a second chance, and you have a great relationship
Speaker 1: with your son.
Speaker 3: With my sons.
Speaker 2: Sons. You have two sons, so you've been all three boys.
Speaker 3: I have five all total.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, wow, okay, and go ahead, so.
Speaker 3: With the one. And and here's also what I say
Speaker 3: to people. My story is not unique. It's Monique story
Speaker 3: because it's Monique, this unique story, but it's not unique.
Speaker 3: It's not a story of Oh, I can't believe that.
Speaker 3: That's why I say to women, especially black men, because
Speaker 3: because that journey can be different from anyone else's. If
Speaker 3: you know what you're walking in, be unafraid to walk
Speaker 3: in it. They'll make us fearful. You'll begin to backtrack
Speaker 3: on what you know to be true. Yes, be right,
Speaker 3: and you'll start backtracking and then you am I crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Well twenty of them did it, But why am I
Speaker 3: the only one that's not doing it? Because they know better.
Speaker 3: You gotta be so okay and you're staying as you
Speaker 3: have been. You gotta be so okay when the rest
Speaker 3: of the party say we don't want to play with
Speaker 3: you no more. Okay, Well, let me get my toys
Speaker 3: and take my ass over here with the people that
Speaker 3: want to play with me. You've got to be okay
Speaker 3: with that. And I think another thing that we do,
Speaker 3: we lose. I'm sure you've told your babies, don't you
Speaker 3: let nobody bully you.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've told you Oh my god, yeah.
Speaker 3: You're better tell the truth. But we go up and
Speaker 3: we drop that off, and you see people get bullied.
Speaker 3: You see people and you're like, well, what happened to
Speaker 3: the principles that we were given as children? So I
Speaker 3: just chose not to change the principles that I was getting.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're saying basically what I say to my
Speaker 1: daughter in relationships, in school and in my life. Never
Speaker 1: accept less than what you deserve, and you know what
Speaker 1: you deserve. Hopefully that starts with having self worth. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you have like you flounder because you don't have
Speaker 1: self worth, and that's when you're willing to accept less
Speaker 1: and you're afraid and making decisions out of fear. You
Speaker 1: have to have a little bit of success sometimes to
Speaker 1: get to the point where you can stand up for yourself,
Speaker 1: you know, like that you got to get to that point,
Speaker 1: and it's very It does feel like standing at the
Speaker 1: top of a mountain and you're pretty much alone when
Speaker 1: you're being courageous and speaking up about things that most
Speaker 1: people won't and they won't go the whole distance. They'll
Speaker 1: go three miles, five miles, they won't go the whole marathon.
Speaker 1: So then you're alone running the rest. But I get that,
Speaker 1: like I really do, gets.
Speaker 3: You take when you know what you're standing at.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's very liberate. It's like telling the truth
Speaker 1: is very free because you just know you don't have
Speaker 1: to hide anywhere. There's nothing to do. It's what it is,
Speaker 1: and people are scared of it. It's very scary for people.
Speaker 1: So I get it.
Speaker 3: People have been in a position where they didn't have freedom.
Speaker 3: So yeah, damn if I'm gonna let you take mine
Speaker 3: from me, yep, going to hold on to it, beath
Speaker 3: and until they say, Monique is your turn. And then
Speaker 3: when I get to the next place, I'm gonna walk
Speaker 3: through the door and say, yeah, I know I'm free, right,
Speaker 3: So what Hey, long as y'all know what y'all get.
Speaker 1: Well, you are an open book. And I never want
Speaker 1: to bring up something and someone doesn't want to talk
Speaker 1: about So if you don't want to talk about anything,
Speaker 1: you just tell me this is not a gotcha show.
Speaker 1: But you're it's like almost like I didn't read it,
Speaker 1: and you're saying that your story is not that unique.
Speaker 1: I mean, I your brother abusing you sexually is is
Speaker 1: it's it's it's chilling to me. I mean it's it's
Speaker 1: it's real, but not unique. I know it's I know,
Speaker 1: I know. So how have you dealt with that? How
Speaker 1: have you liberated yourself from that? The fact that he
Speaker 1: went on Oprah and admitted it had to be validating
Speaker 1: and and sometimes you want that public validation because people
Speaker 1: never believe women no matter what. It always and you
Speaker 1: never believe yourself. Half the time, we think we're imagining things.
Speaker 1: Did you ever think something? Has something ever happened to
Speaker 1: you that you like, no happened, But then you're sort
Speaker 1: of imagining it because your your mind's playing tricks on you.
Speaker 3: My crown wouldn't let me do that, Bethany. It'd be like, no,
Speaker 3: that shit happened, Monique, And we're not going to make
Speaker 3: pretend it didn't. Like you ever heard Dick Gregory, and
Speaker 3: Dick Gregory said, when the universe puts the magic glasses
Speaker 3: on you, you cannot take them off.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: And you have to see things for what they are,
Speaker 3: not what you want them to be. So I believe
Speaker 3: I got those glasses as a very young girl, and
Speaker 3: I had to see things for what they were. Did
Speaker 3: I want them to be different? Did I want my
Speaker 3: parents to be more involved? Did I want that not
Speaker 3: to happen from my brother? Yes, but it did. So
Speaker 3: I have to see it for what it is and
Speaker 3: to say how did I cope? How did I get
Speaker 3: through it? I'll tell you for a long time, Bethanie,
Speaker 3: I didn't because I got to me address it. And
Speaker 3: when I got married to my best friend from tenth grade,
Speaker 3: he said to me, listen, I'm going to need you
Speaker 3: to stop using your bad behavior. You got to stop
Speaker 3: using your brother molesting you as a crutch, because now
Speaker 3: you've gotten used to not taking accountability for your shit,
Speaker 3: and you've gotten used to saying, well, I did that
Speaker 3: because of what my brother did to me. He said,
Speaker 3: you are a grown woman right now.
Speaker 2: I call that wearing your story?
Speaker 3: Oh baby? What you Every time it was my brother's fault,
Speaker 3: and he said, I need you to grow up and
Speaker 3: take accountability for your decisions and your choices. Right now.
Speaker 3: When you were a little girl, there was nothing you
Speaker 3: can do. Now you're a grown woman, you were fully
Speaker 3: responsible for your choices, your decisions, and your thoughts. That's
Speaker 3: when I was able to drop it off.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So you intervened in your own behavior. Do you forgive him? Yes,
Speaker 1: because he's a product of his environment and his generational trauma.
Speaker 3: As I said to my children, that is my brother's
Speaker 3: burden to charactery. It's long on my burden. My brother
Speaker 3: actually went to jail from molesting his stepdaughter. So when
Speaker 3: you've done nothing wrong, and it can be hard to
Speaker 3: walk in it when you got people saying you crazy,
Speaker 3: just shut up. Just because my mother said to me
Speaker 3: when I did the article in essence, she said, well,
Speaker 3: don't tell him it's Gerald, Just tell him it was
Speaker 3: a family member.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: And I said, my, if I do that, that puts
Speaker 3: everybody on trial.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Right, it puts everybody on try.
Speaker 1: And by the way, also like now you're protecting now
Speaker 1: you have you're the hostage, holding a hostage secret like
Speaker 1: somebody else's secret. Like, now that's on your it's your problem.
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I mean right now, you're protecting this
Speaker 1: person and not protecting yourself. I mean you had to
Speaker 1: be liberated from it. Do you did you did you feel?
Speaker 1: Did you know instinctively as a kid that it was wrong?
Speaker 1: Because I've had that experience as well with a brother.
Speaker 1: But I didn't. I don't think I even knew it
Speaker 1: was wrong. Like I play the movie back later and
Speaker 1: go back to it and didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't know it was wrong. I just it was
Speaker 2: just what happened.
Speaker 3: I knew it was wrong from jump because the moment
Speaker 3: you go, sh, this is wrong because you're telling me
Speaker 3: to be quiet.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, the moment you go.
Speaker 3: Sh, this is wrong. And I think with molestation for me,
Speaker 3: here's where me and Oprah Winfrey have a problem too.
Speaker 3: We spoke about that, Bethany, and we spoke about that
Speaker 3: offline when she called me up and asked me, can
Speaker 3: your brother come on the show? He's called me, I said,
Speaker 3: of course. She said, he wants to talk about him
Speaker 3: molesting you, and he wants to apologize to you. I said, Oprah,
Speaker 3: the man I know is he's up to something, but
Speaker 3: I don't like his blessing he could be in a
Speaker 3: different place. I just don't want anything to do with him. Now,
Speaker 3: what Oprah Winfrey did not tell me was that my
Speaker 3: mother was going to be there. What Oprah Winfrey did
Speaker 3: not tell I mean, is that my father was going
Speaker 3: to be there. See that's and when you say unique,
Speaker 3: that's the uniqueness of this situation when you have two
Speaker 3: black women on the phone talking when no one can
Speaker 3: hear this conversation. And I'm telling this woman what I'm
Speaker 3: dealing with with my mother, Wow, with my mother, and
Speaker 3: she told me about hers too, which I will never repeat. However,
Speaker 3: when I kick it on, you have my mother and
Speaker 3: your audience, because she said to me, if you want
Speaker 3: me not to do the show, I won't do the show.
Speaker 3: That's just when she told me it was my brother.
Speaker 1: Hell and if you knew it was your pet, you
Speaker 1: felt like you were exploited for ratings.
Speaker 2: And if you knew, you didn't know the whole story exactly.
Speaker 3: It's like, how do you do that when I'm telling
Speaker 3: you what I'm dealing with? And that really put the
Speaker 3: nail in the coffin for my mother and I we
Speaker 3: oh wow, we never spoke again.
Speaker 1: Oh my God, So you're saying, Oprah Winfrey is the
Speaker 1: reason that you have not ever spoken to your mother again.
Speaker 3: I won't do that to her. I won't put it
Speaker 3: all on her because I'm right. It was what it
Speaker 3: was before she came. What I will say is she
Speaker 3: wasn't an honest enough, an honest enough woman to say, listen,
Speaker 3: we have your mother too. Because had I known my
Speaker 3: mother was going to be their destiny, I would have
Speaker 3: said immediately shut it down, because I did not need
Speaker 3: the world seeing how greedy.
Speaker 1: Well, because also your parents are trying to protect themselves
Speaker 1: and that they were around for that experience, and that's
Speaker 1: one of your issues. They didn't protect you from it.
Speaker 1: So now there they're all trying to create their own
Speaker 1: narrative and you're like left out. It's like one voice
Speaker 1: against three and whatever they're spinning.
Speaker 3: Had Oprah Winfrey said, Monique, your mother's gonna be here,
Speaker 3: I would have said, hey, baby, shut it down. Because
Speaker 3: what Oprah Winfrey doesn't care about because I've said it repeatedly.
Speaker 3: See Oprah Winfrey didn't walk through the walmart and have
Speaker 3: women coming up to her saying, you know what, Monique,
Speaker 3: your mother wasn't shit for that, because it's still my mother, right,
Speaker 3: she didn't have that. I had to deal with that repeatedly.
Speaker 3: Now they felt like they were protecting me, and I
Speaker 3: appreciate it, but it's still my mother that you tell
Speaker 3: me she ain't right.
Speaker 1: You had to live it more than you had to
Speaker 1: keep living feeling that your mom is a bad mother.
Speaker 3: Like it was like it was doubling accountability for that.
Speaker 1: You have had some life you feel you've definitely you
Speaker 1: must have. Do you have trust issues? No, you're trusting.
Speaker 1: You're still trusting.
Speaker 3: I have. I'm married to a man. By the way,
Speaker 3: we just celebrated eighteen years, made fenty.
Speaker 2: Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm married to a man that I had been best
Speaker 3: friends with since I was fourteen years old, and he
Speaker 3: is exactly who he said he was. Wow, from fourteen
Speaker 3: to now fifty six. How could I have trust issues
Speaker 3: when the union has allowed me to see what true
Speaker 3: unconditional love really is. Because I don't know about you,
Speaker 3: but I know with my traumas and my yesterdays, it
Speaker 3: was hard for me to love.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you don't know about I mean, yeah, no, yes,
Speaker 1: you're very You've got the big foundation. You've got the trust,
Speaker 1: you've got, the life partner, you've got your foxhole.
Speaker 3: And oftentimes it's not the other person's fault, as much
Speaker 3: as we want to make it they fault. We couldn't
Speaker 3: get out of.
Speaker 2: Our own way, my story of my life.
Speaker 3: You couldn't get out your own way, so you could
Speaker 3: have lost somebody that was the greatest thing for you.
Speaker 3: But because of your yesterday, you couldn't close the book
Speaker 3: on it. So everything that you thought was related to yesterday,
Speaker 3: it's easy to blame it on today. It's easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you are not a full person, if you're
Speaker 1: not a person that you would want to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship with, and if you haven't resolved your stuff,
Speaker 1: you're just dumping it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: One, and not everyone has to want it, you know.
Speaker 1: Not everyone has to want that, And it all comes
Speaker 1: in many shapes and sizes.
Speaker 2: But I agree with you like you have.
Speaker 1: We have to face these traumas, we have to go
Speaker 1: through them like a storm you cannot avoid. That's why
Speaker 1: it's funny. I we would have had a different We
Speaker 1: could have had this talk and that talk, and it
Speaker 1: would been very different, but interesting. I had a gut
Speaker 1: instinct about you because I would have just been telling
Speaker 1: you that I was living for the first time to
Speaker 1: your point about being abused. I put it in a
Speaker 1: box and I did not revisit it until fifty three
Speaker 1: years old, for two weeks, like a dog in this house,
Speaker 1: just wandering crying and like reading let I did not
Speaker 1: visit my childhood for probably with like almost forty years.
Speaker 1: It was like a movie that I was living through
Speaker 1: that time. But I went. I chose to go through
Speaker 1: the storm. I didn't choose to go be with other
Speaker 1: people to grieve and mourn and you know, drink and
Speaker 1: look at pictures and laugh. I chose to just like
Speaker 1: be a dog, and it were I wanna say it worked.
Speaker 1: I like had a profound experience because I moved through
Speaker 1: it the hardest thing I ever did. It was one
Speaker 1: of the hardest things I've ever done. So yes, like
Speaker 1: it's hard to be in relationship when there are so
Speaker 1: many relationships and traumas that aren't resolved or addressed or acknowledged.
Speaker 3: You know, sis, I think about I was just talking
Speaker 3: about this this morning. I think about the bones I'll
Speaker 3: never get a chance to me that is a part
Speaker 3: of me. And when they look at my picture, what
Speaker 3: do I want them to see what Usians do I
Speaker 3: want them to have about their great great great grandmother,
Speaker 3: about what do I want them to say? So I
Speaker 3: have to live in what I want them to say.
Speaker 3: You know, I have to live that. I have to
Speaker 3: live that that my children see, we didn't see our
Speaker 3: mother broken, we didn't see our mother defeated, we didn't
Speaker 3: see our mother damn. So that way their story to
Speaker 3: their children and their children to their children. So that
Speaker 3: is what allows me to make sure I'm going every
Speaker 3: day saying, let me enjoy this moment.
Speaker 1: That's the generational healing that you're that is, that is
Speaker 1: the breaking the chain, like because you're healing for future generations.
Speaker 1: I read that you're in an open marriage, which is
Speaker 1: so fascinating because you're talking about your soulmate and it's
Speaker 1: not a one size fits all. It's the way that
Speaker 1: you are living your life that you and your husband
Speaker 1: as partners, have decided to live your life.
Speaker 2: So what does that mean?
Speaker 1: Because it comes in many shapes and forms, and I've
Speaker 1: heard I'm so with sixty percent of marriages ending in divorce.
Speaker 2: I'm very open minded and I.
Speaker 1: Always say, like whatever works for a couple like we
Speaker 1: can No one can walk in people's shoes, and everyone
Speaker 1: wants to assign their own beliefs or values or failures
Speaker 1: or fears on other couples. So my question is, what
Speaker 1: is open marriage when yours is described as such?
Speaker 2: What is that? What does that mean?
Speaker 3: Oh, let me tell you what it mean, because it
Speaker 3: has different meanings. Okay, when Sydney and I first got together,
Speaker 3: it was my best friend. We were like brother and
Speaker 3: sister from tenth grade. He came to the first two
Speaker 3: marriages he was into as my brother. Okay, So when
Speaker 3: I was in my other marriages, I didn't know how
Speaker 3: to be nobody's wife, definite. I didn't know what the
Speaker 3: commitment really meant because I was gonna do what I
Speaker 3: wanted to do anyway. So who did I call when
Speaker 3: I was doing what I wanted to do anyway? My
Speaker 3: best friend to say this is what I'm doing? Right?
Speaker 3: And then when we first got together, I said, hey,
Speaker 3: you know who you're getting involved with. Right when we
Speaker 3: first got together, I was married to my best friend.
Speaker 3: He had not yet become my husband.
Speaker 1: I was married to this my sibling almost like they
Speaker 1: say yes yes.
Speaker 3: So when we first got together, it meant that if
Speaker 3: we wanted to have other partners, we could.
Speaker 1: That is exactly what it meant, because you were just
Speaker 1: marrying a partner you wanted a life partner didn't have
Speaker 1: to mean that every single need gets to filled by
Speaker 1: the other person at the time.
Speaker 3: At that time, he was not yet my husband. What
Speaker 3: was I his wife? Though we were married. We were
Speaker 3: best friends that got married. And as time started moving on,
Speaker 3: I started looking at my best friend as my king
Speaker 3: because I started seeing things that I had never seen
Speaker 3: in a man before, not my father, not my brothers,
Speaker 3: not my uncles. I had never seen that kind of
Speaker 3: strength in a man. And I remember when I first
Speaker 3: told him I wanted to still see other people. He said, Monique,
Speaker 3: we've been loving each other since tenth grade. Do you
Speaker 3: think that would stop me from loving you?
Speaker 1: So, he said, I've been loving you for this many years?
Speaker 1: Is that going to really you know, is that going
Speaker 1: to make a difference? Which is very evolved, very like
Speaker 1: that's like elevated, so evolved beyond. So now, okay, so
Speaker 1: now you how many years were you together then when
Speaker 1: you were saying I still want to see other people,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Say it may have been five to seven.
Speaker 2: Years okay, and then had so then he had it shift.
Speaker 3: It just shifted. It was one day everything felt different
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to be with anybody but my husband.
Speaker 2: I didn't want And also look at your life.
Speaker 1: Who knows what voids you were trying to fill through
Speaker 1: other things like we have a thousand reasons for doing
Speaker 1: things like maybe I.
Speaker 3: Tell women my husband loved me like I was at
Speaker 3: my best when I was at my worst, because most
Speaker 3: men wouldn't have been able to deal with that. Most
Speaker 3: men wouldn't have been able to deal with Now I'm
Speaker 3: a public figure, I'm a celebrity, I'm famous. There's a
Speaker 3: little bit of money in the bank, and now I'm
Speaker 3: making all the rules. Most men, the egos wouldn't have
Speaker 3: let them. Yeah, of course, But when you're dealing with
Speaker 3: somebody that is a king, Oh, that man is a king.
Speaker 3: And he was able to have conversations with me, Bethany,
Speaker 3: that no one when I went to the side pychiatrist,
Speaker 3: and I went to a psychiatrist for years. Everything that
Speaker 3: the psychiatrist said to me, he would say to me
Speaker 3: before I went there. He said, but I need you
Speaker 3: to go talk to somebody who has no dog in
Speaker 3: the front because when I talk to you, you think
Speaker 3: I'm judging right, But when they talk to you, and
Speaker 3: I would come home and say everything you said to me,
Speaker 3: Doctor Wanzo said to me, I saw this man Bethany
Speaker 3: love on our children in a way that I've never
Speaker 3: seen a man do that I've never seen. My husband
Speaker 3: is the greatest human being I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 3: Let me just say that.
Speaker 1: So you fell in love with him within the marriage,
Speaker 1: and then in lust with him, and like you've had
Speaker 1: a layered cake, the cake has many layers, so you've
Speaker 1: had many different experiences within the relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's a message to people to be open
Speaker 1: minded about relationship and the journey that it takes. And
Speaker 1: everybody thinks it's supposed to be a one size fits
Speaker 1: all and it has to be this. And I think
Speaker 1: that marriage is marketed to twenty year olds about the
Speaker 1: white dress and the big ring everything, but not the marriage,
Speaker 1: not like the commitment and not what it really takes
Speaker 1: and just like being on the journey, and I think
Speaker 1: that's something has to be thought of more so, I
Speaker 1: think it's inspiring to be honest about what you both
Speaker 1: want in your relationship and that that can change and
Speaker 1: evolves amazing.
Speaker 3: And I watched my parents being a marriage for over
Speaker 3: fifty years, but neither one of them evolved. What she
Speaker 3: married is what she got till she died. He was
Speaker 3: what he got to lead doctors. Right, So write these
Speaker 3: two people be in a relationship, but not like one another.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: And that's all the marriages that I saw my uncle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It's like a burden.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you check the box to get married, but then
Speaker 1: when you're in it, you got to just be the
Speaker 1: two people that are complaining and surviving instead of thriving.
Speaker 1: And you sound like you're thriving. You talk about I
Speaker 1: read about the Melissa McCarthy thing that I referenced earlier,
Speaker 1: and is that is the difference in your career from
Speaker 1: someone like hers who has had a similar trajectory. Is
Speaker 1: the difference the color of your skin?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: So I was in Chicago two days ago and I
Speaker 1: was just walking. I came off the plane and I
Speaker 1: was sweaty, and I had a T shirt on and
Speaker 1: like just a ratty cart again and cargo jeans. And
Speaker 1: I'm not vain, I don't really care what I look like.
Speaker 1: And I just was walking with a like mom big
Speaker 1: oversized water bottle and a bag of cheesy popcorn, and
Speaker 1: I just was a little bit of a wreck. I
Speaker 1: was like sweating. I literally just wanted to take a
Speaker 1: hot It was eighty degrees. So I passed by Chanel
Speaker 1: and I wanted to just walk in and look just
Speaker 1: I saw something in the window. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: walk in and look. And the man at the door
Speaker 1: opened the door. There was no security outside at this time,
Speaker 1: and he opened the door halfway and he said, do
Speaker 1: you have an appointment? And I said no, and he said,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you have to have an appointment. It was
Speaker 1: really brief and it was dismissive and I felt slighted.
Speaker 1: And I posted about this and it became this viral thing,
Speaker 1: like the sociological Experiment, and I went back the next
Speaker 1: day dressed to the nines looking like a Chanel model
Speaker 1: because I had an appearance. It wasn't like I was
Speaker 1: doing it for this. I happened to bring my alpha
Speaker 1: for the next day. I had hair makeup looked like
Speaker 1: Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl, Like it looked like I
Speaker 1: was wearing head head to toe Chanelle. I wasn't but
Speaker 1: it was that vibe coincidentally, and I said into the video, like,
Speaker 1: if I walk in here looking different than I did
Speaker 1: yesterday and I'm treated differently, Christmas is canceled, so lo
Speaker 1: and behold. I walked up to Chanelle this day. There
Speaker 1: were three guards because I had seen my video I
Speaker 1: think from the day before, and people were saying it
Speaker 1: wasn't because of the way I looked, but that it
Speaker 1: was because it's not safe in Chicago, and it's a
Speaker 1: whole discussion that's not that important. But what is important
Speaker 1: is that the next day I looked different and they
Speaker 1: let me in right away. And many people have come
Speaker 1: into my comments saying and nicely, really nicely, like not
Speaker 1: coming at me, saying you were able to change your
Speaker 1: clothes and look different the next day. I'm a black
Speaker 1: woman and I can't change the color of my skin,
Speaker 1: and that's how we get treated.
Speaker 2: And it really did it.
Speaker 1: Just the way that this was said on this particular
Speaker 1: issue wouldn't have been something I would have thought would
Speaker 1: be brought up, and it was actually really profound.
Speaker 2: It just made me.
Speaker 1: Feel a little small, you know, and I really thought,
Speaker 1: oh my God, for people to feel every day just
Speaker 1: like it doesn't always have to be overt, but there'd
Speaker 1: be a nuance of like, you're just not at the
Speaker 1: same level. And I just I just spelt differently about
Speaker 1: reading those comments. It was just something, It was just
Speaker 1: something different about it.
Speaker 3: Sometimes when you get a little a little bit to
Speaker 3: walk in it, you understand it differently. And that was
Speaker 3: just a little taste. And you were able to put
Speaker 3: up a post and the next day they start switching
Speaker 3: shit around to make sure we accommodate if this woman
Speaker 3: comes back. Well, you're right. All you had to do
Speaker 3: was go get yourself pretty up and now you go.
Speaker 3: So you got a little, not even a taste, you
Speaker 3: got a little drip on your tongue. I saw a
Speaker 3: clip of the Roast with Kevin Hart, and I saw
Speaker 3: my comedic sister, Chelsea Handler, and she was saying, you know,
Speaker 3: Kevin made me these promises and he said he got
Speaker 3: me and he didn't have me. And it was a joke, right.
Speaker 3: I'm saying, oh, well, he lied to you too well,
Speaker 3: Only to come to find out the joke was on
Speaker 3: me because I did a thing on that what Kevin
Speaker 3: Hart told me something and he didn't follow through with it,
Speaker 3: and I had a conversation about that well to find
Speaker 3: out that supposedly the joke was on me, and I said,
Speaker 3: you know, it's a roast. I get it, But however,
Speaker 3: do you mock fun and make a joke out of
Speaker 3: somebody else's I won't say a pain somebody else's concerned.
Speaker 3: It's even to do that. I'm a white woman. I
Speaker 3: can do that. I can make fun of this black woman.
Speaker 3: And guess what, the black people are gonna laugh with me.
Speaker 3: Kevin Hart's gonna look at me and we're all gonna
Speaker 3: have a blast. That's what we walk in every single day,
Speaker 3: every day. So for me, Bethany, as a big black woman,
Speaker 3: I will never be quiet, never, because there's a little
Speaker 3: girl coming behind me who's not here, who's depending on
Speaker 3: my big ass mouth. She's depending on it because I
Speaker 3: depended on somebody's I depended on Haddie McDaniel, I depended
Speaker 3: on iuld be Wells. I depended on those black women
Speaker 3: before me that can have that door kicked open a
Speaker 3: little further. So it is our job to kick it
Speaker 3: open even more. And now you, as a white woman
Speaker 3: experiencing a taste of that didn't feel good. Now your
Speaker 3: opinions and you're appro which may be different and your
Speaker 3: understanding of what a black woman is saying because you
Speaker 3: felt just a mosquito bite of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it just there's something about those comments and
Speaker 1: I was like wow, and it was just very it
Speaker 1: was it was stated very in a way that I
Speaker 1: really really just felt their pain, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: this person's pain.
Speaker 2: It was a few people.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you dealt with that because your conversations with
Speaker 3: your daughter now may be different. Because if you're ignorant
Speaker 3: to something, I can only tell you my ignorance. I
Speaker 3: can't tell you anything else right, and can only tell
Speaker 3: you was to share with me what I thought. But
Speaker 3: now that you've walked in that, now your conversation with
Speaker 3: your baby girl not maybe it better be different.
Speaker 1: And the truth is I this is besides the point,
Speaker 1: I think, but like to that issue. Obviously, I've bought
Speaker 1: so many things that you know, I could call ahead.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the person has to call
Speaker 1: ahead and like get special. So I be a person
Speaker 1: walking down a street, sweating and opening a door and
Speaker 1: going into a store like.
Speaker 3: Obviously I'm gonna say this. What I used to work
Speaker 3: at a boutique years ago when I was seventeen years old, right,
Speaker 3: and it was beautiful things in that store, and you
Speaker 3: had to be buzzed in, and there were some people
Speaker 3: that could not be buzzed in. That's just how if
Speaker 3: you look like you were on drugs, if you look like.
Speaker 2: I didn't look like I was.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't look at I'm saying, But it was
Speaker 1: the way I was spoken to. It was there are
Speaker 1: two ways to say something, and it was dismissive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you could say, if you have an appointment, that'd be lovely,
Speaker 1: call Jane between these hours, and no problem, Like there's
Speaker 1: two ways. But it was just like starting from no.
Speaker 1: The no was before the conversation. The no was the
Speaker 1: first glance was no. And that's so yeah exactly to.
Speaker 3: Some people when I was working at that boutique. Baby
Speaker 3: not right now. Of course.
Speaker 2: Obviously I've been a hostess at restaurants, I've been everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. And by the way, I'm not always pleasant.
Speaker 1: I can be bitchy sometimes I'm not. Also, the first
Speaker 1: experience you're having in a retail experience representing a brand,
Speaker 1: the first experience of persons coming off the streets, sorry,
Speaker 1: that's an aggressive now, you know, like so, And it
Speaker 1: wasn't yeah anyway, who cares, it's it's it's we enough
Speaker 1: to go on forever.
Speaker 2: But the comment was what was compelling. I wanted to know.
Speaker 1: Because you've you've been vocal about Kevin and Tyler and Oprah,
Speaker 1: and do you feel that they're.
Speaker 2: Bad people? Do you feel that they're not good people?
Speaker 3: I've always said my husband and I both always said
Speaker 3: we don't think they're bad people. We've always said and
Speaker 3: as a matter of fact, let me be clear on
Speaker 3: your show right now, Kevin Hart has always been my baby,
Speaker 3: Kevin Hart said, I was like his mother, his aunt,
Speaker 3: his sister. Do I love Kevin Hart? Yes. When Kevin
Speaker 3: Hart got in an accident, I didn't want to hear
Speaker 3: from nobody. I found my way to Kevin Hart. I said,
Speaker 3: let me hear your voice, baby, let me hear you talking.
Speaker 3: That's the relationship that I believe we had. So when
Speaker 3: something happens and you don't keep your word with no accountability,
Speaker 3: is that how you would treat somebody like your mother?
Speaker 3: These are your words, not mine. So I still love
Speaker 3: Kevin Hart, and I still believe the day is gonna
Speaker 3: come around when Kevin Hart is gonna call me and say, hey, mo,
Speaker 3: I played that one wrong, because I'm never gonna be
Speaker 3: as anybody. Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey. I think that
Speaker 3: they are people that got caught in their power.
Speaker 1: You think it's part of the machine. You think some
Speaker 1: people are good people, but the machine is so big,
Speaker 1: and it's bigger than the people.
Speaker 3: I think they got caught in their power. I think
Speaker 3: they got caught in I am the mighty, and no
Speaker 3: one can say anything they are the wiz. I am
Speaker 3: the wiz, and but if you really come back here
Speaker 3: and you really see the Wiz, you'll find out just
Speaker 3: who they are. That's why they never want to sit
Speaker 3: down publicly and speak to my husband and I because
Speaker 3: within seconds, Bethany, within seconds, not minutes, seconds, the community
Speaker 3: of people that stand for right wouldn't know just what
Speaker 3: they were looking at. And I believe they're gonna find
Speaker 3: it in their heart because I'm not the only one.
Speaker 3: People just don't do things the one person don't work
Speaker 3: like that. I think that, and this is my humble opinion.
Speaker 3: I think that there are people to say I don't
Speaker 3: want to ruffle no feathers, so I'm gonna just stay quiet. Well,
Speaker 3: that's that's their right.
Speaker 2: I'm not I've never met either of them.
Speaker 1: I've met so many people in this industry, but I
Speaker 1: just never met either of them, So I don't know
Speaker 1: any I literally don't know them. Kat Williams is intriguing
Speaker 1: to me. Did you guys have a great rapport? Do
Speaker 1: you have a good relationship? Was it a good experience?
Speaker 3: Have you ever met someone, Bethany that you heard all
Speaker 3: the rumors, you heard all of what they not and
Speaker 3: they do this and they do that, and then you
Speaker 3: meet them and you see pureness all over them. M hmm.
Speaker 3: Kat Williams is one of the purest people I've ever
Speaker 3: met in the game called entertainment. I've ever met, and
Speaker 3: he's brilliantly funny. But for as funny as he is,
Speaker 3: his heart is far bigger like that. That's what I
Speaker 3: have to say about.
Speaker 1: How did you come together? Did you come together because
Speaker 1: you've had these similar experiences with some of the same people,
Speaker 1: or it was coincidental?
Speaker 2: I saw him on club Okay.
Speaker 3: I then called Rodney Perry because Rodney Perry knows everybody's number,
Speaker 3: including Jesus you need it, I said, Rodney Perry. I
Speaker 3: need to get in contact with Kat Williams. I need
Speaker 3: to tell that brother. I'm so proud of him. He said,
Speaker 3: I don't have Cat's number, but I got a person's
Speaker 3: number that will have Cat's number, and that was Red Grant.
Speaker 3: Red Grant called me back in about twenty minutes and said, hey, mo,
Speaker 3: let me give Cat a call. Let him know you're
Speaker 3: trying to find them. Well, in about thirty minutes, my
Speaker 3: phone rings, Hello, Monique, this is Kat Williams. That was good,
Speaker 3: I said, Cat, I'm so proud of you. I'm so
Speaker 3: proud of you because I've never seen anybody be so
Speaker 3: feerce and fearless and unwavering. I'm so proud of you, brother,
Speaker 3: and I would love to play with you one day.
Speaker 3: What that means on the stage together, yeah, oh, he said, Well,
Speaker 3: I got a few dates that you can fill in.
Speaker 3: I said, Kat, I'm not a feller, but whenever you've
Speaker 3: got time for us to play, let's play at. Williams
Speaker 3: and my husband got on the phone together. When they
Speaker 3: got finished, I had thirty cities.
Speaker 2: Wow. And it was an amazing experience.
Speaker 3: When you walk out into a crowd of front of
Speaker 3: between ten thousand and sixteen thousand people and they're standing
Speaker 3: on their feet and they're shouting your name in every
Speaker 3: city you go to.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: I was so grateful. Yeah, so grateful, so amazing.
Speaker 1: Especially at your I mean we're a similar age at
Speaker 1: our Age, like everything we get.
Speaker 2: Is like gravy.
Speaker 1: You're like, wait, this is still the tables are still
Speaker 1: hotay you know what I mean? Yes, I always say
Speaker 1: like when thea go cold, I'll walk out, but when
Speaker 1: they're hot, I'm up there, I'm out, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: So that's why I feel like at our Age, you're like, wait,
Speaker 1: this is like gravy.
Speaker 2: This is amazing.
Speaker 3: That's our Age. We just getting started.
Speaker 1: I kind of feel that, I mean I do. It's
Speaker 1: just different. It's like really the Juicy Center, it's very good.
Speaker 1: And how's your health because I've read that your fans
Speaker 1: kind of helped you with your thyroid situation.
Speaker 2: They noticed something you didn't even see in yourself.
Speaker 3: Okay, Bethany, So for some years now, right, I was
Speaker 3: getting comments like mo, go get your throat checked out.
Speaker 3: It looked like you're thigroid. I was like, Okay, I've
Speaker 3: just got a fat neck. I'm good I'm good, because
Speaker 3: that's all I've ever been told.
Speaker 2: Oh, you got a fat neck.
Speaker 3: So I had a thyroid storm and it's shut me
Speaker 3: completely down.
Speaker 2: Wow, I was hype or hypo or it's the other
Speaker 2: one lower high.
Speaker 3: I'm hyper.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: So I was on stage in New Orleans kat Williams
Speaker 3: Dark Matter tour and when I tell you, everything went cloudy.
Speaker 2: Ey, oh this was recent.
Speaker 3: It was recent. Was Oh, everything went cloudy and I
Speaker 3: couldn't see anything in front of me. So I'm on
Speaker 3: stage and I'm saying, please let me get through it.
Speaker 3: Please let me get through it, and knock on wood.
Speaker 3: I got through it, and I got it. You know.
Speaker 3: The people were very, very beautiful to me. And the
Speaker 3: next weekend I was in the hospital.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's.
Speaker 3: How bad it had gotten. It had got I mean it,
Speaker 3: it was. I couldn't walk like, I couldn't stand straight up.
Speaker 3: It was really bad.
Speaker 2: You're feeling good, You're feeling better around the men.
Speaker 3: I feel incredible and please excuse me for fan and baby,
Speaker 3: but you understand. Yeah, okay. I started doing the nad
Speaker 3: drips and the Meyers cocktail. Oh okay, I feel absolutely amazing.
Speaker 2: And where do you live in Georgia.
Speaker 3: In the country.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I mean well, I have to thank you
Speaker 1: so much for being so open for coming on.
Speaker 2: I was, I was. I asked to have you on.
Speaker 1: I was super excited, and I was worried that something
Speaker 1: would go wrong because I cancel for my mother passing.
Speaker 1: So I'm just grateful for the conversation. I'd love to
Speaker 1: meet you one day and I think it's a really
Speaker 1: interesting and really talented and I was just excited for
Speaker 1: you to be so open about your life.
Speaker 3: Thank you, and thanks for having me on.
Speaker 2: So nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: Say about you, I'm so grateful. Well, say hello to
Speaker 1: your husband and all your kids, and.
Speaker 2: Just thank you. Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
Speaker 1: Honestly, you too, baby,