1
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 1: So, first of all, last time I canceled because my

2
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:20,120
Speaker 1: mother passed away, I think like two days or three

3
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,480
Speaker 1: days before. And what was weird was I really did

4
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 1: want to even talk to you then, but I didn't

5
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 1: want to sort of hijacket with like emotion and my stuff.

6
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,239
Speaker 1: But I had this weird feeling about you, like I've

7
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,760
Speaker 1: wanted to have you on and I don't even know

8
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,720
Speaker 1: anything about you. I've just seen clips. I mean, I

9
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,159
Speaker 1: know I've seen your work, but I don't know. I

10
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,400
Speaker 1: like felt connected to you, and I kind of wanted

11
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,360
Speaker 1: to have you on even though my mom had just passed,

12
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,840
Speaker 1: and now reading about you like it could have happened,

13
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,280
Speaker 1: I just I don't know, I feel you. So thank

14
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,080
Speaker 1: you for being here because I'm really just excited to

15
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,360
Speaker 1: talk to you and it's just like an instinct.

16
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:54,440
Speaker 2: So thank you.

17
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,960
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me baby.

18
00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:03,160
Speaker 1: So I've been reading about you, and You've had a

19
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:09,080
Speaker 1: really interesting life of so many traumatic experiences. And the

20
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,959
Speaker 1: thing this term that I was talking about with regards

21
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,520
Speaker 1: to my mother and her death, the term that came

22
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,760
Speaker 1: out of that was generational trauma. And when I was

23
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,720
Speaker 1: reading about you, I literally was like, this woman has

24
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:26,320
Speaker 1: experienced generational trauma from what happened with your brother, with

25
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,360
Speaker 1: your parents, with their parents, and like, I don't know

26
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,480
Speaker 1: why that just like was the first thing I was like, Wow,

27
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,399
Speaker 1: I could have talked to her about this stuff.

28
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:39,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, because oftentimes we want to make it about the

29
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,800
Speaker 3: culture and white and black and you can't relate because

30
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,960
Speaker 3: you're this and you're that. And then when you come

31
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,240
Speaker 3: down to it, our shit is almost the same, the trauma,

32
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,240
Speaker 3: the relationships with family, those things. If you say, now,

33
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,800
Speaker 3: close your eyes and tell me are the white or

34
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:01,000
Speaker 3: black when it comes to the trauma and families and

35
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,920
Speaker 3: how we've been told to hide it, be quiet, let

36
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,120
Speaker 3: it go. So I think that it's all relatable when

37
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,279
Speaker 3: it just comes to human human life and human people.

38
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:14,160
Speaker 1: Well it's right. And women stifle a lot and just

39
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,040
Speaker 1: take it on their back and we wear it in

40
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:21,160
Speaker 1: our bodies energetically. So you are a state. You started

41
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,920
Speaker 1: as a stand up and an actress, you were dared

42
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,640
Speaker 1: to be to get on stage and you just got

43
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,120
Speaker 1: up and on an open mic, and what did you

44
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,040
Speaker 1: what did you do? You had no plan? You literally

45
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,360
Speaker 1: just stood up or you planned before you didn't.

46
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing, Bethany I never planned on being

47
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 3: an actress. Being an actress was something that as a

48
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,000
Speaker 3: little girl, I said, Oh, one day, I just said,

49
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,120
Speaker 3: I know I'm going to be famous. Now I did,

50
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,160
Speaker 3: I knew, I knew and everything in me I was

51
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,120
Speaker 3: going to be famous.

52
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,040
Speaker 1: That's interesting. I relate to that too, because as a kid,

53
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,120
Speaker 1: I thought about trying to act. But I don't think

54
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,520
Speaker 1: I was actually very good, not unlike you is good,

55
00:02:57,919 --> 00:02:59,560
Speaker 1: but I wanted. I think it has but I think

56
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,120
Speaker 1: that has to do generational trauma too. You're like craving

57
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,240
Speaker 1: some adoration and love, and that's sort of embarrassing to

58
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,440
Speaker 1: admit when you're younger because it seems so thirsty and desperate.

59
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 2: But when you get.

60
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,280
Speaker 1: Older, like you're I don't know how old do you

61
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,920
Speaker 1: mind if I ask cowbled, You're I'm fiftic.

62
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:15,040
Speaker 2: Okay.

63
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,840
Speaker 1: So as you get to be the sage, like what

64
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,760
Speaker 1: is there to lie about? What is there physically to

65
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,120
Speaker 1: lie about? Mentally emotionally, like here we are, we're on

66
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,400
Speaker 1: the back nine, let's be honest. So I feel like

67
00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:26,520
Speaker 1: and we might not have even been in touch with it,

68
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,760
Speaker 1: but I'm like, I just wanted to be somebody and

69
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,680
Speaker 1: to be something and someone to pay attention to me,

70
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,400
Speaker 1: because no one in my house was, and my mother

71
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,480
Speaker 1: wouldn't even take me to go to like try to

72
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,280
Speaker 1: go into the city to figure out how you could

73
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,240
Speaker 1: even audition. And she always taunted me by telling me

74
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,520
Speaker 1: someone once offered me a Disney contract, but she turned

75
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,120
Speaker 1: it down. My whole life, I was like obsessed with that,

76
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,280
Speaker 1: chasing whatever that was or wasn't. But so like you,

77
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,480
Speaker 1: I kind of thought I was gonna be something, but

78
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,520
Speaker 1: you really thought you would actually accomplish it, because I

79
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,000
Speaker 1: don't know that I really thought I would. I just

80
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,240
Speaker 1: thought it was like what I wanted to do. I

81
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,680
Speaker 1: don't know that I thought I could land it. You

82
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,560
Speaker 1: thought you could like land it did.

83
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:06,680
Speaker 3: Everything that has taking place in my life. I willed it,

84
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,720
Speaker 3: and I already saw it. And I say that humbly.

85
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:17,559
Speaker 3: That humbly. I saw me getting an NAACP award before

86
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,840
Speaker 3: I got it. I saw getting that Oscar award before

87
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,160
Speaker 3: I got it, Like I saw those things before they

88
00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 3: actually happened, and I believed it. Like I used to

89
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,600
Speaker 3: sign my autograph, I used to wrap a talel around

90
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,680
Speaker 3: me in the bathroom as a little girl and hold

91
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,760
Speaker 3: the brush in my hand and say I want to

92
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:41,240
Speaker 3: think because I saw that. I believe that. So I

93
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 3: understand when people say, well, how'd you happen? They say,

94
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,840
Speaker 3: I willed it. In this industry we're in, we've got

95
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,760
Speaker 3: to will what we're looking for. And even with the

96
00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,599
Speaker 3: black ball, even with the fights that I'm having, I

97
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 3: saw that too.

98
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,800
Speaker 1: So what do you I'm so jumping out of place

99
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,080
Speaker 1: because you're inspiring me because one of the things I

100
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,919
Speaker 1: was gonna ask you later was like what do you

101
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,159
Speaker 1: what do you want? And what do you see happening?

102
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,120
Speaker 1: So what do you see now? Because I know you're

103
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,280
Speaker 1: fighting for a lot of different things, and you're being

104
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,040
Speaker 1: very vocal, and you're being fearless, and it's got to

105
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:20,440
Speaker 1: be liberating but also slightly scary talking about unfair practices

106
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:24,359
Speaker 1: like disparity, things like that, so inequality. So what do

107
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,200
Speaker 1: you see happening? What are you envision is going to happen?

108
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:31,720
Speaker 3: What I envision happening. I do believe that Tyler Perry,

109
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,120
Speaker 3: I do believe that Oprah Winfrey. I do believe those

110
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,240
Speaker 3: two people will come around. That's why I won't stop

111
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,120
Speaker 3: and to say to is it a little bit scary?

112
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,159
Speaker 3: There's no fear in it at all, Bethany Nice, There's

113
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,120
Speaker 3: because I believe that the moment I show fear is

114
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,680
Speaker 3: the moment the universe says you don't believe it and

115
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:57,160
Speaker 3: you don't trust it. So I have an amazing husband

116
00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,440
Speaker 3: who was truly a king. That takes all doubt, all fear,

117
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,640
Speaker 3: all anks, all of that is removed. Because when I'm home,

118
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:11,200
Speaker 3: I'm a wife, I'm a mommy, I'm a grandmother. I

119
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,719
Speaker 3: am not the business. I am the things that signed

120
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:15,000
Speaker 3: up for.

121
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,640
Speaker 1: You have a foundation, a strong foundation. So the business

122
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,120
Speaker 1: is the frosting, but you have the cake at home, like.

123
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,120
Speaker 3: That's come on, you put that together.

124
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,080
Speaker 1: So you're yeah, the business is the which I get

125
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,600
Speaker 1: completely too. The business is a vehicle, a tool, and

126
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:37,400
Speaker 1: you need to use it because it's certainly used you.

127
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,760
Speaker 1: So them coming around, what's the definition of Oprah Winfrey

128
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,680
Speaker 1: and Tyler Perry coming around? What's the definition of that?

129
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,680
Speaker 3: Did you see when Lee Daniels gave a public apology?

130
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,160
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so.

131
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,360
Speaker 3: Research it. Lee Daniels walked on stage while I was

132
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:56,360
Speaker 3: on stage and gave a public apology. My coming around

133
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,599
Speaker 3: for them, Bethany, is for them to do the same

134
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 3: thing to give up public apology. And I don't think

135
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:06,320
Speaker 3: what they understand that makes them even bigger because what

136
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,479
Speaker 3: they did is said, let me show you I'm human,

137
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,360
Speaker 3: Let me not be this powerhouse that you better be

138
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,720
Speaker 3: afraid of me, you better not say anything. And don't

139
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:19,320
Speaker 3: you know what I can do? Well? Okay, but don't

140
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,720
Speaker 3: you know how bigger you will be once you take

141
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,000
Speaker 3: accountability for the shit that you created and say, hey,

142
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,160
Speaker 3: I got to own that.

143
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,640
Speaker 1: And literally, you don't want an opportunity, You don't want

144
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 1: anything financial. You want acknowledgment. That's all you want is

145
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 1: just an acknowledgement.

146
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,200
Speaker 3: And I don't want you to put words in my mouth.

147
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,040
Speaker 3: I do want an acknowledgement that you know what we did,

148
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,400
Speaker 3: you wrong? And yes, I want financial accountability from Todd Perry,

149
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,240
Speaker 3: Yes I do. That man's cost my family tens of

150
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,120
Speaker 3: millions of dollars to a lie that he admitted to.

151
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,560
Speaker 3: That's why everybody we interview with if we send them

152
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,440
Speaker 3: the tape, because I don't want to put words in

153
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:58,600
Speaker 3: anyone's mouth. You admit it to doing wrong, so now

154
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,080
Speaker 3: you have to be accountable for that.

155
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,640
Speaker 2: And do you see it happening? Do you see it happening.

156
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:07,600
Speaker 3: I do you do if you're paying attention, No one

157
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,880
Speaker 3: escapes if they're right sep paying attention baby to the

158
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,880
Speaker 3: way the world is going. Right now, you don't escape

159
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,239
Speaker 3: when you've been, in my humble opinion, malicious on purpose,

160
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,440
Speaker 3: you can't escape it.

161
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 1: Now, what about the industry overall? Because you speak, you

162
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,720
Speaker 1: you've spoken, You've been very vocal about that. You would

163
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,680
Speaker 1: be Melissa McCarthy. Which is a great reference because it's

164
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,960
Speaker 1: something that is tangible. You've really laid it out as

165
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,120
Speaker 1: something people could understand. I mean the career you've had.

166
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,760
Speaker 1: I mean most people have not won the awards. You

167
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:43,360
Speaker 1: are an award decorated actress, comedian. So what can how

168
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,520
Speaker 1: do you see that laying out?

169
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:44,640
Speaker 3: Like?

170
00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 1: Where does where does the come up and tap happen

171
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:51,360
Speaker 1: with the industry? How does that disparity get reconciled?

172
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,080
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think that there are some people

173
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,680
Speaker 3: Bethany that are afraid to touch Monique and Monique' husband

174
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,240
Speaker 3: and then and there are some people that say, you

175
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 3: know what, we just want to do good business. That's it.

176
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,000
Speaker 3: We want to do good business. And when the business

177
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,240
Speaker 3: is over, you go enjoy your space and I'm gonna

178
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,319
Speaker 3: go enjoy mine, and those people are out there so

179
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,920
Speaker 3: to say, how does this thing go? Well, we never

180
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,400
Speaker 3: know how tomorrow's gonna go because we don't know if

181
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,600
Speaker 3: we're going to be in it. However, if we are

182
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,800
Speaker 3: lucky enough to be in it, if we get the

183
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,160
Speaker 3: blessing to be in it, we keep fighting to make

184
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,280
Speaker 3: it better, not just for no need. But they are

185
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,880
Speaker 3: some little girls that are not here yet that if

186
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,960
Speaker 3: my story is daemed important enough and they get a

187
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,839
Speaker 3: chance to read it, what they will say is that

188
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,600
Speaker 3: woman kept swinging for us until she left this earth.

189
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 1: And how is it working now? And how is how

190
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,040
Speaker 1: is your career right now? Like the opportunities, like what's

191
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,360
Speaker 1: the tide, what's the temperature?

192
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,800
Speaker 2: How is that going well?

193
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,480
Speaker 3: Right now? I just got off of a thirty city

194
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:57,240
Speaker 3: tour with Kat Williams, who was absolutely incredible, and the

195
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,400
Speaker 3: movie The Deliverances get ready to come out with Lee

196
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:04,680
Speaker 3: Daniels Netflix. So that's what's happening.

197
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,520
Speaker 2: When we're good people, people.

198
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,600
Speaker 3: Would always say to me, what's next, what's next? And

199
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,120
Speaker 3: I would give them my resume. Baby, well I got

200
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,840
Speaker 3: this and this and this, and then the universe said,

201
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,160
Speaker 3: do you believe what that's what's next, because we got

202
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:21,840
Speaker 3: something else in mind for you. So when people say, Monique,

203
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,920
Speaker 3: what's snacks, my honest answer to you is I hope

204
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,920
Speaker 3: tomorrow because.

205
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,079
Speaker 2: I get it.

206
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:28,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

207
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that that that's interesting too, about like getting

208
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,840
Speaker 1: up on stage doing stand up because someone dares you.

209
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,920
Speaker 2: You're a person who.

210
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,480
Speaker 1: You come from a place of yes, it sounds like,

211
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,920
Speaker 1: and you just go with what's presented in front of you.

212
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,520
Speaker 1: And I don't literally search for any ideas. I don't

213
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,280
Speaker 1: search for anything. I don't go for deals. I like

214
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:51,080
Speaker 1: listen to what's going on and whatever either I'm interested

215
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,000
Speaker 1: in or when something knocks on my door. So many

216
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,080
Speaker 1: people think that the key to success is being like

217
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,600
Speaker 1: having a whole plan and a roadmap. And I'm exactly

218
00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,600
Speaker 1: like you in the sense that I was on Bravo

219
00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:03,760
Speaker 1: and I did have a feeling in my mind that

220
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:04,959
Speaker 1: I was going to get a spin off. I was

221
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,560
Speaker 1: like sort of like envisioning it, like you said. But

222
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,920
Speaker 1: I always just kind of if you're not open to

223
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 1: the road, you're gonna miss so many things. So I

224
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,840
Speaker 1: do get that. But you're always working. It sounds like

225
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:20,040
Speaker 1: you're like you're in the car. The car is no,

226
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,959
Speaker 1: I'm not no right now. It sounds like, well, when people.

227
00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,320
Speaker 3: Say you're always working, there are people that die in

228
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:30,520
Speaker 3: their hotel rooms, Bethany because they were always working. There

229
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 3: are people that die on the stage because they're always working.

230
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 3: I take pride and not always working.

231
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,240
Speaker 1: It seems like you always have something that you've just

232
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 1: been doing or can be doing. It seems like you're

233
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,520
Speaker 1: in you have some version of being in demand by

234
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,520
Speaker 1: somebody at some time and someone wants to do something

235
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:50,800
Speaker 1: with you.

236
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,920
Speaker 3: I was in demand yesterday and I'm gonna tell you

237
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,920
Speaker 3: what they were demanding. So my son Jonathan is now

238
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,560
Speaker 3: trying to eat really healthy, and he said, Mommy, can

239
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,520
Speaker 3: you make me some of them recy cup with my

240
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,200
Speaker 3: almond butter crunch. So this morning I got up, baby

241
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,920
Speaker 3: and method that damn chocolate and put it and I

242
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,719
Speaker 3: got it. Complete it. When I finished talking.

243
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,120
Speaker 2: To you, Oh I got it.

244
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,319
Speaker 1: I just got all the sweetish candy for my daughter

245
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,959
Speaker 1: and she just called me crying from school because she

246
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,319
Speaker 1: lost a bracelet. I got her and she's apoplectic, and

247
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's okay, Everything's going to be okay. Being

248
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,960
Speaker 1: a mother, especially at this age, is more valuable. You

249
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,760
Speaker 1: really appreciate it, and you know where we've come from.

250
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,120
Speaker 1: It sounds like you broke the chain from your childhood.

251
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,600
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you.

252
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,960
Speaker 3: Have when you say break the chain? I'm just doing

253
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,000
Speaker 3: it different. Break the chain is a good one because

254
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 3: I no longer want When I was coming up, a

255
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,600
Speaker 3: lot of things felt like to me from my parents

256
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,920
Speaker 3: it was a burden. Like it felt like it was

257
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,160
Speaker 3: a burden to take me school shopping. It felt like

258
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,839
Speaker 3: it was a burden to say, you know, I need

259
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 3: you to check my homework. It always felt like it

260
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,760
Speaker 3: was this pressure. And I don't know what my parents

261
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:05,120
Speaker 3: were dealing with at the time, right. So with my children,

262
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,400
Speaker 3: I never want them to feel like it's a burden.

263
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,120
Speaker 3: And I got a second chance at motherhood. And I

264
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,360
Speaker 3: say that openly to people, and I've always said it

265
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,280
Speaker 3: because when I had my first son, I was busy

266
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,320
Speaker 3: trying to be famous. I was trying to make it.

267
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,960
Speaker 3: I was trying to give us a lifestyle. So whatever

268
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,720
Speaker 3: college he wanted to go to, there would be no questions.

269
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 3: Whatever he wanted in life, there would be no questions.

270
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,719
Speaker 3: But what I wasn't doing was putting in the nurturing

271
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,040
Speaker 3: because I was tired. I was trying to do it all.

272
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:41,680
Speaker 3: So the sacrifice was my son. The first son didn't

273
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,199
Speaker 3: get the nurturing mother. Well, I prayed for a second

274
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:50,160
Speaker 3: chance and I received it, and I refused to sacrifice

275
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,440
Speaker 3: it because I learned that lesson.

276
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,120
Speaker 1: And I didn't know that you've both been public speaking

277
00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:00,200
Speaker 1: about this, your son from your first relationship, and you

278
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,880
Speaker 1: feel have you have you forgiven yourself? Have you given

279
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,160
Speaker 1: yourself grace and like or do you still feel guilt?

280
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,480
Speaker 2: I don't feel so.

281
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,920
Speaker 3: See there's a lot that's being left out. My son

282
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,400
Speaker 3: and I sat down and had a conversation as to adults,

283
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,480
Speaker 3: and we both apologized to one another. We both did

284
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,960
Speaker 3: and at that moment we ask for each other's forgiveness

285
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,080
Speaker 3: and we gave it. So at that point, I don't

286
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:30,840
Speaker 3: play backsies. I don't play now. We had the conversation Monday,

287
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,280
Speaker 3: but it's Tuesday. It's like we didn't talk and Wednesday

288
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,800
Speaker 3: we're mad. I don't play backsies. So for my son

289
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,400
Speaker 3: and I, as I've said on Shannon's shop, I hope

290
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,720
Speaker 3: time heals it. We can only let time see what

291
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,720
Speaker 3: it's gonna do. And as I said publicly about my son.

292
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,640
Speaker 3: We'll see how it plays out. Because one thing about me,

293
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,760
Speaker 3: Beth and me, how I do anything is how I

294
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:55,720
Speaker 3: do everything.

295
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,240
Speaker 1: I've said that. That's really funny. I said that on

296
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,480
Speaker 1: a show. Yeah yeah, business personal for you too. Business

297
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 1: you personal is business? Business is personal. Everything matters.

298
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,560
Speaker 3: Everything matters.

299
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:11,640
Speaker 1: Yes, everything matters. So do you feel whole about it?

300
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,760
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you have a hole in your

301
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 1: heart about like?

302
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:13,640
Speaker 3: Is it?

303
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,600
Speaker 1: Is it unrest that it's not resolved and or it's

304
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 1: just a it's a it's a moment in time, like

305
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:19,920
Speaker 1: this is just a moment in time.

306
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,640
Speaker 3: It's a moment in time. And I'll say this to

307
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 3: the mothers out there or the father's out there that

308
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:29,480
Speaker 3: feel like, what can I do? There's nothing you can do.

309
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:35,040
Speaker 3: If you've apologized for your missteps, if you've asked for

310
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:39,000
Speaker 3: forgiveness and forgiveness was given, there's nothing you can do.

311
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 3: So now, my son is a thirty four year old man.

312
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,000
Speaker 3: Whenever he's ready, guess where I am. Guess where my

313
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:46,720
Speaker 3: husband is.

314
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,600
Speaker 1: And you love him, you feel connected to him like

315
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:50,440
Speaker 1: he's your son.

316
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:55,200
Speaker 3: Feel I carried that baby. I laid down for that

317
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,720
Speaker 3: one baby. Okay, for that one.

318
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,960
Speaker 1: Of course, Yes, well I hope that gets resolved because

319
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,920
Speaker 1: it's time goes by so quickly and then something happens,

320
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 1: someone gets sick, and then everyone wants to like make

321
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,400
Speaker 1: up for it, and it just it's like it's hard

322
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,160
Speaker 1: for people to see the forest from the trees in

323
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 1: the moment, you know, myself included, like and not everyone connects.

324
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,840
Speaker 1: You can have a blood family member that you don't

325
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 1: necessarily connect with and you can have guilt about that.

326
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,920
Speaker 2: I've had that myself, and.

327
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 1: I just think it's important to communicate on some level,

328
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,840
Speaker 1: even the way you're saying it right now, like to

329
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 1: try to be vulnerable vulnerable about it because, like you said,

330
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 1: everybody comes from their own story and it is a

331
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,920
Speaker 1: moment in time, you know, I, for the first time ever,

332
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 1: I forgive my mother and also mourned her terrible childhood.

333
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 1: Like thinking about why people aren't just the way they are.

334
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:46,480
Speaker 2: For no reason.

335
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 1: People don't abuse for no reason, people don't drink for

336
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,840
Speaker 1: no reason. People have something going on behind, and if

337
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 1: you can look at the origin of that, it makes

338
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 1: it more palatable to understand, which is what you said

339
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 1: earlier about where your parents came from. Why they kind of,

340
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:01,760
Speaker 1: you know, marginalize what.

341
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 2: You were doing.

342
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,719
Speaker 1: So and but you have a you feel like you've

343
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 1: gotten a second chance, and you have a great relationship

344
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:08,280
Speaker 1: with your son.

345
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 3: With my sons.

346
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,560
Speaker 2: Sons. You have two sons, so you've been all three boys.

347
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,480
Speaker 3: I have five all total.

348
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 2: Oh okay, wow, okay, and go ahead, so.

349
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,320
Speaker 3: With the one. And and here's also what I say

350
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 3: to people. My story is not unique. It's Monique story

351
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 3: because it's Monique, this unique story, but it's not unique.

352
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,879
Speaker 3: It's not a story of Oh, I can't believe that.

353
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:41,200
Speaker 3: That's why I say to women, especially black men, because

354
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 3: because that journey can be different from anyone else's. If

355
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 3: you know what you're walking in, be unafraid to walk

356
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:54,440
Speaker 3: in it. They'll make us fearful. You'll begin to backtrack

357
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 3: on what you know to be true. Yes, be right,

358
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 3: and you'll start backtracking and then you am I crazy. Yeah,

359
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 3: Well twenty of them did it, But why am I

360
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,119
Speaker 3: the only one that's not doing it? Because they know better.

361
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 3: You gotta be so okay and you're staying as you

362
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 3: have been. You gotta be so okay when the rest

363
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,879
Speaker 3: of the party say we don't want to play with

364
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,400
Speaker 3: you no more. Okay, Well, let me get my toys

365
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 3: and take my ass over here with the people that

366
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 3: want to play with me. You've got to be okay

367
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,880
Speaker 3: with that. And I think another thing that we do,

368
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 3: we lose. I'm sure you've told your babies, don't you

369
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 3: let nobody bully you.

370
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've told you Oh my god, yeah.

371
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 3: You're better tell the truth. But we go up and

372
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,000
Speaker 3: we drop that off, and you see people get bullied.

373
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 3: You see people and you're like, well, what happened to

374
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:48,639
Speaker 3: the principles that we were given as children? So I

375
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 3: just chose not to change the principles that I was getting.

376
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do it.

377
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 1: I mean, you're saying basically what I say to my

378
00:18:55,359 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 1: daughter in relationships, in school and in my life. Never

379
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,440
Speaker 1: accept less than what you deserve, and you know what

380
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,679
Speaker 1: you deserve. Hopefully that starts with having self worth. And

381
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 1: sometimes you have like you flounder because you don't have

382
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,400
Speaker 1: self worth, and that's when you're willing to accept less

383
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 1: and you're afraid and making decisions out of fear. You

384
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 1: have to have a little bit of success sometimes to

385
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: get to the point where you can stand up for yourself,

386
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,440
Speaker 1: you know, like that you got to get to that point,

387
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 1: and it's very It does feel like standing at the

388
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 1: top of a mountain and you're pretty much alone when

389
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 1: you're being courageous and speaking up about things that most

390
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,400
Speaker 1: people won't and they won't go the whole distance. They'll

391
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 1: go three miles, five miles, they won't go the whole marathon.

392
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 1: So then you're alone running the rest. But I get that,

393
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: like I really do, gets.

394
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 3: You take when you know what you're standing at.

395
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's very liberate. It's like telling the truth

396
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 1: is very free because you just know you don't have

397
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,159
Speaker 1: to hide anywhere. There's nothing to do. It's what it is,

398
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: and people are scared of it. It's very scary for people.

399
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,359
Speaker 1: So I get it.

400
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 3: People have been in a position where they didn't have freedom.

401
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,480
Speaker 3: So yeah, damn if I'm gonna let you take mine

402
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 3: from me, yep, going to hold on to it, beath

403
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,879
Speaker 3: and until they say, Monique is your turn. And then

404
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 3: when I get to the next place, I'm gonna walk

405
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,360
Speaker 3: through the door and say, yeah, I know I'm free, right,

406
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 3: So what Hey, long as y'all know what y'all get.

407
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,479
Speaker 1: Well, you are an open book. And I never want

408
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 1: to bring up something and someone doesn't want to talk

409
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 1: about So if you don't want to talk about anything,

410
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: you just tell me this is not a gotcha show.

411
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 1: But you're it's like almost like I didn't read it,

412
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,959
Speaker 1: and you're saying that your story is not that unique.

413
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I your brother abusing you sexually is is

414
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 1: it's it's it's chilling to me. I mean it's it's

415
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 1: it's real, but not unique. I know it's I know,

416
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: I know. So how have you dealt with that? How

417
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: have you liberated yourself from that? The fact that he

418
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 1: went on Oprah and admitted it had to be validating

419
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 1: and and sometimes you want that public validation because people

420
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: never believe women no matter what. It always and you

421
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 1: never believe yourself. Half the time, we think we're imagining things.

422
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 1: Did you ever think something? Has something ever happened to

423
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 1: you that you like, no happened, But then you're sort

424
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 1: of imagining it because your your mind's playing tricks on you.

425
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,479
Speaker 3: My crown wouldn't let me do that, Bethany. It'd be like, no,

426
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 3: that shit happened, Monique, And we're not going to make

427
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:10,919
Speaker 3: pretend it didn't. Like you ever heard Dick Gregory, and

428
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 3: Dick Gregory said, when the universe puts the magic glasses

429
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 3: on you, you cannot take them off.

430
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 2: Wow.

431
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 3: And you have to see things for what they are,

432
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 3: not what you want them to be. So I believe

433
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 3: I got those glasses as a very young girl, and

434
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 3: I had to see things for what they were. Did

435
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 3: I want them to be different? Did I want my

436
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 3: parents to be more involved? Did I want that not

437
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 3: to happen from my brother? Yes, but it did. So

438
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: I have to see it for what it is and

439
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 3: to say how did I cope? How did I get

440
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 3: through it? I'll tell you for a long time, Bethanie,

441
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 3: I didn't because I got to me address it. And

442
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 3: when I got married to my best friend from tenth grade,

443
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 3: he said to me, listen, I'm going to need you

444
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 3: to stop using your bad behavior. You got to stop

445
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 3: using your brother molesting you as a crutch, because now

446
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 3: you've gotten used to not taking accountability for your shit,

447
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 3: and you've gotten used to saying, well, I did that

448
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 3: because of what my brother did to me. He said,

449
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,880
Speaker 3: you are a grown woman right now.

450
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 2: I call that wearing your story?

451
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 3: Oh baby? What you Every time it was my brother's fault,

452
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 3: and he said, I need you to grow up and

453
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 3: take accountability for your decisions and your choices. Right now.

454
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 3: When you were a little girl, there was nothing you

455
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 3: can do. Now you're a grown woman, you were fully

456
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 3: responsible for your choices, your decisions, and your thoughts. That's

457
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 3: when I was able to drop it off.

458
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: Wow.

459
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 1: So you intervened in your own behavior. Do you forgive him? Yes,

460
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: because he's a product of his environment and his generational trauma.

461
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 3: As I said to my children, that is my brother's

462
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 3: burden to charactery. It's long on my burden. My brother

463
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 3: actually went to jail from molesting his stepdaughter. So when

464
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,679
Speaker 3: you've done nothing wrong, and it can be hard to

465
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 3: walk in it when you got people saying you crazy,

466
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 3: just shut up. Just because my mother said to me

467
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 3: when I did the article in essence, she said, well,

468
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 3: don't tell him it's Gerald, Just tell him it was

469
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 3: a family member.

470
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 2: Wow.

471
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 3: And I said, my, if I do that, that puts

472
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 3: everybody on trial.

473
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 2: Wow.

474
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 3: Right, it puts everybody on try.

475
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: And by the way, also like now you're protecting now

476
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: you have you're the hostage, holding a hostage secret like

477
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: somebody else's secret. Like, now that's on your it's your problem.

478
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I mean right now, you're protecting this

479
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 1: person and not protecting yourself. I mean you had to

480
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 1: be liberated from it. Do you did you did you feel?

481
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: Did you know instinctively as a kid that it was wrong?

482
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: Because I've had that experience as well with a brother.

483
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: But I didn't. I don't think I even knew it

484
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: was wrong. Like I play the movie back later and

485
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: go back to it and didn't.

486
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: I didn't know it was wrong. I just it was

487
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 2: just what happened.

488
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 3: I knew it was wrong from jump because the moment

489
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 3: you go, sh, this is wrong because you're telling me

490
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 3: to be quiet.

491
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 2: Oh okay, the moment you go.

492
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: Sh, this is wrong. And I think with molestation for me,

493
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 3: here's where me and Oprah Winfrey have a problem too.

494
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,719
Speaker 3: We spoke about that, Bethany, and we spoke about that

495
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,360
Speaker 3: offline when she called me up and asked me, can

496
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 3: your brother come on the show? He's called me, I said,

497
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 3: of course. She said, he wants to talk about him

498
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 3: molesting you, and he wants to apologize to you. I said, Oprah,

499
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 3: the man I know is he's up to something, but

500
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 3: I don't like his blessing he could be in a

501
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 3: different place. I just don't want anything to do with him. Now,

502
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 3: what Oprah Winfrey did not tell me was that my

503
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 3: mother was going to be there. What Oprah Winfrey did

504
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 3: not tell I mean, is that my father was going

505
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 3: to be there. See that's and when you say unique,

506
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 3: that's the uniqueness of this situation when you have two

507
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 3: black women on the phone talking when no one can

508
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 3: hear this conversation. And I'm telling this woman what I'm

509
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: dealing with with my mother, Wow, with my mother, and

510
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 3: she told me about hers too, which I will never repeat. However,

511
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 3: when I kick it on, you have my mother and

512
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 3: your audience, because she said to me, if you want

513
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 3: me not to do the show, I won't do the show.

514
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 3: That's just when she told me it was my brother.

515
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: Hell and if you knew it was your pet, you

516
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,719
Speaker 1: felt like you were exploited for ratings.

517
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 2: And if you knew, you didn't know the whole story exactly.

518
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 3: It's like, how do you do that when I'm telling

519
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 3: you what I'm dealing with? And that really put the

520
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 3: nail in the coffin for my mother and I we

521
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 3: oh wow, we never spoke again.

522
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,439
Speaker 1: Oh my God, So you're saying, Oprah Winfrey is the

523
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 1: reason that you have not ever spoken to your mother again.

524
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 3: I won't do that to her. I won't put it

525
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 3: all on her because I'm right. It was what it

526
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 3: was before she came. What I will say is she

527
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 3: wasn't an honest enough, an honest enough woman to say, listen,

528
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 3: we have your mother too. Because had I known my

529
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 3: mother was going to be their destiny, I would have

530
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 3: said immediately shut it down, because I did not need

531
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 3: the world seeing how greedy.

532
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: Well, because also your parents are trying to protect themselves

533
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: and that they were around for that experience, and that's

534
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: one of your issues. They didn't protect you from it.

535
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 1: So now there they're all trying to create their own

536
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: narrative and you're like left out. It's like one voice

537
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 1: against three and whatever they're spinning.

538
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 3: Had Oprah Winfrey said, Monique, your mother's gonna be here,

539
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 3: I would have said, hey, baby, shut it down. Because

540
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 3: what Oprah Winfrey doesn't care about because I've said it repeatedly.

541
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 3: See Oprah Winfrey didn't walk through the walmart and have

542
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 3: women coming up to her saying, you know what, Monique,

543
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 3: your mother wasn't shit for that, because it's still my mother, right,

544
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 3: she didn't have that. I had to deal with that repeatedly.

545
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: Now they felt like they were protecting me, and I

546
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,479
Speaker 3: appreciate it, but it's still my mother that you tell

547
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 3: me she ain't right.

548
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: You had to live it more than you had to

549
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 1: keep living feeling that your mom is a bad mother.

550
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 3: Like it was like it was doubling accountability for that.

551
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: You have had some life you feel you've definitely you

552
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: must have. Do you have trust issues? No, you're trusting.

553
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: You're still trusting.

554
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 3: I have. I'm married to a man. By the way,

555
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: we just celebrated eighteen years, made fenty.

556
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: Congratulations, thank you.

557
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: I'm married to a man that I had been best

558
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 3: friends with since I was fourteen years old, and he

559
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 3: is exactly who he said he was. Wow, from fourteen

560
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 3: to now fifty six. How could I have trust issues

561
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 3: when the union has allowed me to see what true

562
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 3: unconditional love really is. Because I don't know about you,

563
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 3: but I know with my traumas and my yesterdays, it

564
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 3: was hard for me to love.

565
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you don't know about I mean, yeah, no, yes,

566
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: you're very You've got the big foundation. You've got the trust,

567
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,639
Speaker 1: you've got, the life partner, you've got your foxhole.

568
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 3: And oftentimes it's not the other person's fault, as much

569
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 3: as we want to make it they fault. We couldn't

570
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 3: get out of.

571
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 2: Our own way, my story of my life.

572
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 3: You couldn't get out your own way, so you could

573
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 3: have lost somebody that was the greatest thing for you.

574
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 3: But because of your yesterday, you couldn't close the book

575
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 3: on it. So everything that you thought was related to yesterday,

576
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 3: it's easy to blame it on today. It's easy.

577
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you are not a full person, if you're

578
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 1: not a person that you would want to be in

579
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: a relationship with, and if you haven't resolved your stuff,

580
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: you're just dumping it.

581
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

582
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: One, and not everyone has to want it, you know.

583
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: Not everyone has to want that, And it all comes

584
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: in many shapes and sizes.

585
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 2: But I agree with you like you have.

586
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: We have to face these traumas, we have to go

587
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: through them like a storm you cannot avoid. That's why

588
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: it's funny. I we would have had a different We

589
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: could have had this talk and that talk, and it

590
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: would been very different, but interesting. I had a gut

591
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: instinct about you because I would have just been telling

592
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,959
Speaker 1: you that I was living for the first time to

593
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: your point about being abused. I put it in a

594
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: box and I did not revisit it until fifty three

595
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: years old, for two weeks, like a dog in this house,

596
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 1: just wandering crying and like reading let I did not

597
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: visit my childhood for probably with like almost forty years.

598
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 1: It was like a movie that I was living through

599
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 1: that time. But I went. I chose to go through

600
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: the storm. I didn't choose to go be with other

601
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: people to grieve and mourn and you know, drink and

602
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: look at pictures and laugh. I chose to just like

603
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 1: be a dog, and it were I wanna say it worked.

604
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: I like had a profound experience because I moved through

605
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: it the hardest thing I ever did. It was one

606
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: of the hardest things I've ever done. So yes, like

607
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: it's hard to be in relationship when there are so

608
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: many relationships and traumas that aren't resolved or addressed or acknowledged.

609
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 3: You know, sis, I think about I was just talking

610
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 3: about this this morning. I think about the bones I'll

611
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 3: never get a chance to me that is a part

612
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: of me. And when they look at my picture, what

613
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 3: do I want them to see what Usians do I

614
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 3: want them to have about their great great great grandmother,

615
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 3: about what do I want them to say? So I

616
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 3: have to live in what I want them to say.

617
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 3: You know, I have to live that. I have to

618
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 3: live that that my children see, we didn't see our

619
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 3: mother broken, we didn't see our mother defeated, we didn't

620
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 3: see our mother damn. So that way their story to

621
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 3: their children and their children to their children. So that

622
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 3: is what allows me to make sure I'm going every

623
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 3: day saying, let me enjoy this moment.

624
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: That's the generational healing that you're that is, that is

625
00:30:48,040 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: the breaking the chain, like because you're healing for future generations.

626
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: I read that you're in an open marriage, which is

627
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 1: so fascinating because you're talking about your soulmate and it's

628
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 1: not a one size fits all. It's the way that

629
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: you are living your life that you and your husband

630
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: as partners, have decided to live your life.

631
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: So what does that mean?

632
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: Because it comes in many shapes and forms, and I've

633
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: heard I'm so with sixty percent of marriages ending in divorce.

634
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 2: I'm very open minded and I.

635
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: Always say, like whatever works for a couple like we

636
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 1: can No one can walk in people's shoes, and everyone

637
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: wants to assign their own beliefs or values or failures

638
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: or fears on other couples. So my question is, what

639
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: is open marriage when yours is described as such?

640
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 2: What is that? What does that mean?

641
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 3: Oh, let me tell you what it mean, because it

642
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 3: has different meanings. Okay, when Sydney and I first got together,

643
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 3: it was my best friend. We were like brother and

644
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: sister from tenth grade. He came to the first two

645
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 3: marriages he was into as my brother. Okay, So when

646
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 3: I was in my other marriages, I didn't know how

647
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 3: to be nobody's wife, definite. I didn't know what the

648
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 3: commitment really meant because I was gonna do what I

649
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 3: wanted to do anyway. So who did I call when

650
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 3: I was doing what I wanted to do anyway? My

651
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 3: best friend to say this is what I'm doing? Right?

652
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 3: And then when we first got together, I said, hey,

653
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 3: you know who you're getting involved with. Right when we

654
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 3: first got together, I was married to my best friend.

655
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 3: He had not yet become my husband.

656
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: I was married to this my sibling almost like they

657
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 1: say yes yes.

658
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 3: So when we first got together, it meant that if

659
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 3: we wanted to have other partners, we could.

660
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: That is exactly what it meant, because you were just

661
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: marrying a partner you wanted a life partner didn't have

662
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: to mean that every single need gets to filled by

663
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: the other person at the time.

664
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 3: At that time, he was not yet my husband. What

665
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 3: was I his wife? Though we were married. We were

666
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 3: best friends that got married. And as time started moving on,

667
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 3: I started looking at my best friend as my king

668
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 3: because I started seeing things that I had never seen

669
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 3: in a man before, not my father, not my brothers,

670
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,959
Speaker 3: not my uncles. I had never seen that kind of

671
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 3: strength in a man. And I remember when I first

672
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 3: told him I wanted to still see other people. He said, Monique,

673
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 3: we've been loving each other since tenth grade. Do you

674
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 3: think that would stop me from loving you?

675
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: So, he said, I've been loving you for this many years?

676
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: Is that going to really you know, is that going

677
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: to make a difference? Which is very evolved, very like

678
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: that's like elevated, so evolved beyond. So now, okay, so

679
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: now you how many years were you together then when

680
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: you were saying I still want to see other people,

681
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna.

682
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 3: Say it may have been five to seven.

683
00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: Years okay, and then had so then he had it shift.

684
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 3: It just shifted. It was one day everything felt different

685
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to be with anybody but my husband.

686
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 2: I didn't want And also look at your life.

687
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 1: Who knows what voids you were trying to fill through

688
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 1: other things like we have a thousand reasons for doing

689
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,399
Speaker 1: things like maybe I.

690
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 3: Tell women my husband loved me like I was at

691
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 3: my best when I was at my worst, because most

692
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 3: men wouldn't have been able to deal with that. Most

693
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 3: men wouldn't have been able to deal with Now I'm

694
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 3: a public figure, I'm a celebrity, I'm famous. There's a

695
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 3: little bit of money in the bank, and now I'm

696
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 3: making all the rules. Most men, the egos wouldn't have

697
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,879
Speaker 3: let them. Yeah, of course, But when you're dealing with

698
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 3: somebody that is a king, Oh, that man is a king.

699
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 3: And he was able to have conversations with me, Bethany,

700
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 3: that no one when I went to the side pychiatrist,

701
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 3: and I went to a psychiatrist for years. Everything that

702
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 3: the psychiatrist said to me, he would say to me

703
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 3: before I went there. He said, but I need you

704
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 3: to go talk to somebody who has no dog in

705
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 3: the front because when I talk to you, you think

706
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 3: I'm judging right, But when they talk to you, and

707
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 3: I would come home and say everything you said to me,

708
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 3: Doctor Wanzo said to me, I saw this man Bethany

709
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 3: love on our children in a way that I've never

710
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 3: seen a man do that I've never seen. My husband

711
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,760
Speaker 3: is the greatest human being I've ever met in my life.

712
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 3: Let me just say that.

713
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: So you fell in love with him within the marriage,

714
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 1: and then in lust with him, and like you've had

715
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:48,439
Speaker 1: a layered cake, the cake has many layers, so you've

716
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: had many different experiences within the relationship.

717
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

718
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,640
Speaker 1: I think that's a message to people to be open

719
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 1: minded about relationship and the journey that it takes. And

720
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: everybody thinks it's supposed to be a one size fits

721
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: all and it has to be this. And I think

722
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 1: that marriage is marketed to twenty year olds about the

723
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: white dress and the big ring everything, but not the marriage,

724
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 1: not like the commitment and not what it really takes

725
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: and just like being on the journey, and I think

726
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 1: that's something has to be thought of more so, I

727
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: think it's inspiring to be honest about what you both

728
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: want in your relationship and that that can change and

729
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: evolves amazing.

730
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 3: And I watched my parents being a marriage for over

731
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 3: fifty years, but neither one of them evolved. What she

732
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: married is what she got till she died. He was

733
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,879
Speaker 3: what he got to lead doctors. Right, So write these

734
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,320
Speaker 3: two people be in a relationship, but not like one another.

735
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 2: Right.

736
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 3: And that's all the marriages that I saw my uncle.

737
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It's like a burden.

738
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, you check the box to get married, but then

739
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 1: when you're in it, you got to just be the

740
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,720
Speaker 1: two people that are complaining and surviving instead of thriving.

741
00:36:51,760 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 1: And you sound like you're thriving. You talk about I

742
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 1: read about the Melissa McCarthy thing that I referenced earlier,

743
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 1: and is that is the difference in your career from

744
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: someone like hers who has had a similar trajectory. Is

745
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 1: the difference the color of your skin?

746
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 3: Yes?

747
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: So I was in Chicago two days ago and I

748
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 1: was just walking. I came off the plane and I

749
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: was sweaty, and I had a T shirt on and

750
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: like just a ratty cart again and cargo jeans. And

751
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 1: I'm not vain, I don't really care what I look like.

752
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: And I just was walking with a like mom big

753
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: oversized water bottle and a bag of cheesy popcorn, and

754
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: I just was a little bit of a wreck. I

755
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: was like sweating. I literally just wanted to take a

756
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: hot It was eighty degrees. So I passed by Chanel

757
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: and I wanted to just walk in and look just

758
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 1: I saw something in the window. I just wanted to

759
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,959
Speaker 1: walk in and look. And the man at the door

760
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 1: opened the door. There was no security outside at this time,

761
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: and he opened the door halfway and he said, do

762
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,919
Speaker 1: you have an appointment? And I said no, and he said,

763
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,279
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you have to have an appointment. It was

764
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: really brief and it was dismissive and I felt slighted.

765
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: And I posted about this and it became this viral thing,

766
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: like the sociological Experiment, and I went back the next

767
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: day dressed to the nines looking like a Chanel model

768
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: because I had an appearance. It wasn't like I was

769
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 1: doing it for this. I happened to bring my alpha

770
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: for the next day. I had hair makeup looked like

771
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl, Like it looked like I

772
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: was wearing head head to toe Chanelle. I wasn't but

773
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: it was that vibe coincidentally, and I said into the video, like,

774
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: if I walk in here looking different than I did

775
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: yesterday and I'm treated differently, Christmas is canceled, so lo

776
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: and behold. I walked up to Chanelle this day. There

777
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: were three guards because I had seen my video I

778
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 1: think from the day before, and people were saying it

779
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: wasn't because of the way I looked, but that it

780
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 1: was because it's not safe in Chicago, and it's a

781
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: whole discussion that's not that important. But what is important

782
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: is that the next day I looked different and they

783
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: let me in right away. And many people have come

784
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: into my comments saying and nicely, really nicely, like not

785
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: coming at me, saying you were able to change your

786
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,280
Speaker 1: clothes and look different the next day. I'm a black

787
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: woman and I can't change the color of my skin,

788
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: and that's how we get treated.

789
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 2: And it really did it.

790
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 1: Just the way that this was said on this particular

791
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: issue wouldn't have been something I would have thought would

792
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: be brought up, and it was actually really profound.

793
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 2: It just made me.

794
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: Feel a little small, you know, and I really thought,

795
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: oh my God, for people to feel every day just

796
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,720
Speaker 1: like it doesn't always have to be overt, but there'd

797
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: be a nuance of like, you're just not at the

798
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: same level. And I just I just spelt differently about

799
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 1: reading those comments. It was just something, It was just

800
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: something different about it.

801
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 3: Sometimes when you get a little a little bit to

802
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 3: walk in it, you understand it differently. And that was

803
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 3: just a little taste. And you were able to put

804
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,800
Speaker 3: up a post and the next day they start switching

805
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 3: shit around to make sure we accommodate if this woman

806
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 3: comes back. Well, you're right. All you had to do

807
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:08,879
Speaker 3: was go get yourself pretty up and now you go.

808
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 3: So you got a little, not even a taste, you

809
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 3: got a little drip on your tongue. I saw a

810
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 3: clip of the Roast with Kevin Hart, and I saw

811
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 3: my comedic sister, Chelsea Handler, and she was saying, you know,

812
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,959
Speaker 3: Kevin made me these promises and he said he got

813
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 3: me and he didn't have me. And it was a joke, right.

814
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: I'm saying, oh, well, he lied to you too well,

815
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,839
Speaker 3: Only to come to find out the joke was on

816
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:41,439
Speaker 3: me because I did a thing on that what Kevin

817
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 3: Hart told me something and he didn't follow through with it,

818
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 3: and I had a conversation about that well to find

819
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 3: out that supposedly the joke was on me, and I said,

820
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: you know, it's a roast. I get it, But however,

821
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 3: do you mock fun and make a joke out of

822
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 3: somebody else's I won't say a pain somebody else's concerned.

823
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 3: It's even to do that. I'm a white woman. I

824
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 3: can do that. I can make fun of this black woman.

825
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 3: And guess what, the black people are gonna laugh with me.

826
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 3: Kevin Hart's gonna look at me and we're all gonna

827
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 3: have a blast. That's what we walk in every single day,

828
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 3: every day. So for me, Bethany, as a big black woman,

829
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 3: I will never be quiet, never, because there's a little

830
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: girl coming behind me who's not here, who's depending on

831
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 3: my big ass mouth. She's depending on it because I

832
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 3: depended on somebody's I depended on Haddie McDaniel, I depended

833
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,720
Speaker 3: on iuld be Wells. I depended on those black women

834
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 3: before me that can have that door kicked open a

835
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 3: little further. So it is our job to kick it

836
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,800
Speaker 3: open even more. And now you, as a white woman

837
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 3: experiencing a taste of that didn't feel good. Now your

838
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 3: opinions and you're appro which may be different and your

839
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 3: understanding of what a black woman is saying because you

840
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 3: felt just a mosquito bite of it.

841
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it just there's something about those comments and

842
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: I was like wow, and it was just very it

843
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: was it was stated very in a way that I

844
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: really really just felt their pain, you know what I mean,

845
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: this person's pain.

846
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:21,280
Speaker 2: It was a few people.

847
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 3: I'm glad you dealt with that because your conversations with

848
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 3: your daughter now may be different. Because if you're ignorant

849
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 3: to something, I can only tell you my ignorance. I

850
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 3: can't tell you anything else right, and can only tell

851
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 3: you was to share with me what I thought. But

852
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 3: now that you've walked in that, now your conversation with

853
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 3: your baby girl not maybe it better be different.

854
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 1: And the truth is I this is besides the point,

855
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 1: I think, but like to that issue. Obviously, I've bought

856
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 1: so many things that you know, I could call ahead.

857
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the person has to call

858
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 1: ahead and like get special. So I be a person

859
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: walking down a street, sweating and opening a door and

860
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:00,040
Speaker 1: going into a store like.

861
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 3: Obviously I'm gonna say this. What I used to work

862
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 3: at a boutique years ago when I was seventeen years old, right,

863
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 3: and it was beautiful things in that store, and you

864
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 3: had to be buzzed in, and there were some people

865
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 3: that could not be buzzed in. That's just how if

866
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,479
Speaker 3: you look like you were on drugs, if you look like.

867
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 2: I didn't look like I was.

868
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: No, I didn't look at I'm saying, But it was

869
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: the way I was spoken to. It was there are

870
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: two ways to say something, and it was dismissive. Yeah,

871
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: you could say, if you have an appointment, that'd be lovely,

872
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 1: call Jane between these hours, and no problem, Like there's

873
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: two ways. But it was just like starting from no.

874
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: The no was before the conversation. The no was the

875
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: first glance was no. And that's so yeah exactly to.

876
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,280
Speaker 3: Some people when I was working at that boutique. Baby

877
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 3: not right now. Of course.

878
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 2: Obviously I've been a hostess at restaurants, I've been everything.

879
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. And by the way, I'm not always pleasant.

880
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: I can be bitchy sometimes I'm not. Also, the first

881
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 1: experience you're having in a retail experience representing a brand,

882
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: the first experience of persons coming off the streets, sorry,

883
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: that's an aggressive now, you know, like so, And it

884
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 1: wasn't yeah anyway, who cares, it's it's it's we enough

885
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: to go on forever.

886
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 2: But the comment was what was compelling. I wanted to know.

887
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: Because you've you've been vocal about Kevin and Tyler and Oprah,

888
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: and do you feel that they're.

889
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 2: Bad people? Do you feel that they're not good people?

890
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 3: I've always said my husband and I both always said

891
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 3: we don't think they're bad people. We've always said and

892
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 3: as a matter of fact, let me be clear on

893
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 3: your show right now, Kevin Hart has always been my baby,

894
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 3: Kevin Hart said, I was like his mother, his aunt,

895
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 3: his sister. Do I love Kevin Hart? Yes. When Kevin

896
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 3: Hart got in an accident, I didn't want to hear

897
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 3: from nobody. I found my way to Kevin Hart. I said,

898
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 3: let me hear your voice, baby, let me hear you talking.

899
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,120
Speaker 3: That's the relationship that I believe we had. So when

900
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 3: something happens and you don't keep your word with no accountability,

901
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 3: is that how you would treat somebody like your mother?

902
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 3: These are your words, not mine. So I still love

903
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 3: Kevin Hart, and I still believe the day is gonna

904
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 3: come around when Kevin Hart is gonna call me and say, hey, mo,

905
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 3: I played that one wrong, because I'm never gonna be

906
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 3: as anybody. Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey. I think that

907
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 3: they are people that got caught in their power.

908
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: You think it's part of the machine. You think some

909
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: people are good people, but the machine is so big,

910
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: and it's bigger than the people.

911
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 3: I think they got caught in their power. I think

912
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 3: they got caught in I am the mighty, and no

913
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 3: one can say anything they are the wiz. I am

914
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 3: the wiz, and but if you really come back here

915
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 3: and you really see the Wiz, you'll find out just

916
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 3: who they are. That's why they never want to sit

917
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 3: down publicly and speak to my husband and I because

918
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 3: within seconds, Bethany, within seconds, not minutes, seconds, the community

919
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 3: of people that stand for right wouldn't know just what

920
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 3: they were looking at. And I believe they're gonna find

921
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 3: it in their heart because I'm not the only one.

922
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 3: People just don't do things the one person don't work

923
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 3: like that. I think that, and this is my humble opinion.

924
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:18,879
Speaker 3: I think that there are people to say I don't

925
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 3: want to ruffle no feathers, so I'm gonna just stay quiet. Well,

926
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 3: that's that's their right.

927
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 2: I'm not I've never met either of them.

928
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 1: I've met so many people in this industry, but I

929
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 1: just never met either of them, So I don't know

930
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 1: any I literally don't know them. Kat Williams is intriguing

931
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 1: to me. Did you guys have a great rapport? Do

932
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 1: you have a good relationship? Was it a good experience?

933
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 3: Have you ever met someone, Bethany that you heard all

934
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 3: the rumors, you heard all of what they not and

935
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:47,839
Speaker 3: they do this and they do that, and then you

936
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 3: meet them and you see pureness all over them. M hmm.

937
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 3: Kat Williams is one of the purest people I've ever

938
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 3: met in the game called entertainment. I've ever met, and

939
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 3: he's brilliantly funny. But for as funny as he is,

940
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 3: his heart is far bigger like that. That's what I

941
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 3: have to say about.

942
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 1: How did you come together? Did you come together because

943
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: you've had these similar experiences with some of the same people,

944
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: or it was coincidental?

945
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 2: I saw him on club Okay.

946
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,879
Speaker 3: I then called Rodney Perry because Rodney Perry knows everybody's number,

947
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 3: including Jesus you need it, I said, Rodney Perry. I

948
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 3: need to get in contact with Kat Williams. I need

949
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 3: to tell that brother. I'm so proud of him. He said,

950
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 3: I don't have Cat's number, but I got a person's

951
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 3: number that will have Cat's number, and that was Red Grant.

952
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 3: Red Grant called me back in about twenty minutes and said, hey, mo,

953
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 3: let me give Cat a call. Let him know you're

954
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 3: trying to find them. Well, in about thirty minutes, my

955
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 3: phone rings, Hello, Monique, this is Kat Williams. That was good,

956
00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 3: I said, Cat, I'm so proud of you. I'm so

957
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 3: proud of you because I've never seen anybody be so

958
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 3: feerce and fearless and unwavering. I'm so proud of you, brother,

959
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 3: and I would love to play with you one day.

960
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 3: What that means on the stage together, yeah, oh, he said, Well,

961
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 3: I got a few dates that you can fill in.

962
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 3: I said, Kat, I'm not a feller, but whenever you've

963
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 3: got time for us to play, let's play at. Williams

964
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 3: and my husband got on the phone together. When they

965
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 3: got finished, I had thirty cities.

966
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 2: Wow. And it was an amazing experience.

967
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 3: When you walk out into a crowd of front of

968
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:38,360
Speaker 3: between ten thousand and sixteen thousand people and they're standing

969
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 3: on their feet and they're shouting your name in every

970
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 3: city you go to.

971
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 2: Wow.

972
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 3: I was so grateful. Yeah, so grateful, so amazing.

973
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 1: Especially at your I mean we're a similar age at

974
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: our Age, like everything we get.

975
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 2: Is like gravy.

976
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: You're like, wait, this is still the tables are still

977
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 1: hotay you know what I mean? Yes, I always say

978
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 1: like when thea go cold, I'll walk out, but when

979
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: they're hot, I'm up there, I'm out, I'm doing it.

980
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: So that's why I feel like at our Age, you're like, wait,

981
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 1: this is like gravy.

982
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 2: This is amazing.

983
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 3: That's our Age. We just getting started.

984
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: I kind of feel that, I mean I do. It's

985
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 1: just different. It's like really the Juicy Center, it's very good.

986
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: And how's your health because I've read that your fans

987
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 1: kind of helped you with your thyroid situation.

988
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,240
Speaker 2: They noticed something you didn't even see in yourself.

989
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 3: Okay, Bethany, So for some years now, right, I was

990
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 3: getting comments like mo, go get your throat checked out.

991
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 3: It looked like you're thigroid. I was like, Okay, I've

992
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 3: just got a fat neck. I'm good I'm good, because

993
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 3: that's all I've ever been told.

994
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 2: Oh, you got a fat neck.

995
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 3: So I had a thyroid storm and it's shut me

996
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:46,040
Speaker 3: completely down.

997
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 2: Wow, I was hype or hypo or it's the other

998
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: one lower high.

999
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 3: I'm hyper.

1000
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 2: Okay.

1001
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 3: So I was on stage in New Orleans kat Williams

1002
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 3: Dark Matter tour and when I tell you, everything went cloudy.

1003
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 2: Ey, oh this was recent.

1004
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 3: It was recent. Was Oh, everything went cloudy and I

1005
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 3: couldn't see anything in front of me. So I'm on

1006
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: stage and I'm saying, please let me get through it.

1007
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 3: Please let me get through it, and knock on wood.

1008
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 3: I got through it, and I got it. You know.

1009
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:22,360
Speaker 3: The people were very, very beautiful to me. And the

1010
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 3: next weekend I was in the hospital.

1011
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's.

1012
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 3: How bad it had gotten. It had got I mean it,

1013
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 3: it was. I couldn't walk like, I couldn't stand straight up.

1014
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:33,760
Speaker 3: It was really bad.

1015
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 2: You're feeling good, You're feeling better around the men.

1016
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 3: I feel incredible and please excuse me for fan and baby,

1017
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 3: but you understand. Yeah, okay. I started doing the nad

1018
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:51,280
Speaker 3: drips and the Meyers cocktail. Oh okay, I feel absolutely amazing.

1019
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 2: And where do you live in Georgia.

1020
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 3: In the country.

1021
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I mean well, I have to thank you

1022
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: so much for being so open for coming on.

1023
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 2: I was, I was. I asked to have you on.

1024
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: I was super excited, and I was worried that something

1025
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,760
Speaker 1: would go wrong because I cancel for my mother passing.

1026
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: So I'm just grateful for the conversation. I'd love to

1027
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: meet you one day and I think it's a really

1028
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: interesting and really talented and I was just excited for

1029
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 1: you to be so open about your life.

1030
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 3: Thank you, and thanks for having me on.

1031
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 2: So nice to meet you.

1032
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: Say about you, I'm so grateful. Well, say hello to

1033
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 1: your husband and all your kids, and.

1034
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 2: Just thank you. Have a wonderful, wonderful day.

1035
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:36,879
Speaker 1: Honestly, you too, baby,