WEBVTT - PTG Classic: Why Are There So Many Cheese Crimes? 0:00:03.160 --> 0:00:06.559 You're listening to Part Time Genius, the production of Kaleidoscope 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:07.720 and iHeartRadio. 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:15.120 Guess what mango was that? Well, today we're doing a 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:18.200 show on cheese crimes. I've been excited for this one, 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:20.200 So I've got a question for you to kick things off. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.320 So what's the first thing that comes to mind when 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.239 I say cheese crime? Because there's so many things that 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.000 could come to mind. What comes to mind for you? 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:28.720 I know there was gonna be a pop quiz. Yeah, 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:32.959 I guess someone committing a crime with cheese, like maybe 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:36.519 blusheoning someone with like a huge wheel of parmesan and 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.680 then eating that parmesan. So there's a murder weapon. 0:00:39.800 --> 0:00:41.520 Oh, that would be like the perfect crime. 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:45.320 Yeah, or maybe just using cheese whiz in the sandwich, 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:46.720 which is kind of a cheese crime. 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:48.640 I feel like, out, I look the way you just 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.479 quickly planned to murder around a wheel of cheese, and 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.080 then you dissed the giant part of Philadelphia culture. This 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.240 is all in the first minute of the show. But 0:00:57.320 --> 0:01:00.200 the thing is, cheese is reportedly the most shoplift did 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.400 food in the world. Plus it's the target of all 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:06.080 sorts of craziness from stealing and grifting, to tyst and 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:07.280 even smuggling. 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.319 So this whole episode is kind of just a bad 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:12.200 setup for a nacho cheese joke. 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:14.920 That's the whole reason. That's why I'm excited for this. 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:38.520 All right, let's dive in. Welcome back to part time Genius. 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:40.560 I'm Will and as always, I'm here with my good 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.479 friend Mango, and somewhere behind that big booth is our 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.679 pal Dylan, who has a giant can of easy cheese 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:49.320 and a plate full of crackers that actually Mango, I 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:50.880 think he's preparing for us. 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:54.120 The guy's just so generous. I love that he made 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:56.400 us a snack. I guess he didn't want us to 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:56.960 be angry. 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:57.280 Now. 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.640 But speaking of cheese crimes, I know this is a 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:03.280 little off topic, but can you retell that story about 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:05.760 that time you stopped at a gas station and was so. 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:08.840 I didn't think we were going to go there, but 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:10.760 uh yeah, So. I was in a hurry to a 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.720 meeting one day, and for whatever reason, it had been 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.160 an ongoing joke about grabbing a hot dog from a 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:19.480 gas station with a group of friends. I truly was 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:21.800 in a rush, was filling up with gas, and I 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:23.040 was like, you know what I'm going to do it. 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:25.080 I'm going to get a gas station hot dog because 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:28.640 I was angry, and so I grabbed one. I go 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.160 out to the car, finished, you know, filling up the tank. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.519 I take a bite of This is going to sound 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.160 a bit like terrible. I took a bite of the 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:41.680 hot dog and suddenly I feel something like hot, like 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.760 squirt the back of my throat, which I hate to 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:48.080 even say those words. And I looked and the hot 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:51.480 dog had been cheese injected. And I had heard of 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.240 these before, and I know that they exist. I have 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.519 no interest in them, but I also just I want 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.200 to heads up when my hot dog is going to 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:00.680 have cheese in it. And I didn't know, and so, 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.400 needless to say, I did not finish the hot dog. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:05.320 It is the last time I've had a gas station 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.640 hot dog. So yeah, that's the story. 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.760 It's a good warning to all our listeners to check 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:11.639 out the label on the hot. 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:15.280 You always find out whether it's cheese injected. Yeah, so 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.840 let's get started. I know the reason we chose this 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:21.320 episode is that we both heard that shoplifting fact about cheese, 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:22.960 like that's the most shoplifted food and. 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.080 I'd also heard about this parmesan mafia, so I was 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:29.399 curious what the real story was there. But why don't 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.040 we start with just a quick list of how expensive 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.680 cheese can be. So here's a quick top three of 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:37.800 expensive cheeses I found on a site called Chef's Pencil. 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:41.400 So number one is Pool, which is a donkey cheese. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:43.720 Talked about this before, but just to get a sense 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:47.280 of how expensive it is. For comparison, grocery store cheddars 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.880 can go for about six dollars a pound, Mozzarella might 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:52.320 go for like eight dollars a pound, but pool goes 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.200 for six hundred dollars. 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:55.160 Oh my god. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:59.680 And the reason is it's mostly made of donkey milk. Right, 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:02.720 It's sixty percent donkey milk forty percent goat milk, So 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:06.600 donkeys are doing the heavy lifting there. And apparently, unlike goats, 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:09.280 donkeys are stingy milk givers, like you have to milk 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:12.360 them three times a day. They only give milk six 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:15.800 months of the year, so production is really tricky. Plus 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:19.120 there's only one farm that makes pool, and it's in 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.080 the donkey reserve in Serbia, right right. You know, for 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.640 whatever reason, I have not seen this six hundred dollars 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.120 pound cheese in the Pickley Wiggly in Alabama. 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:28.880 But my question is is it any good? 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:32.080 Yeah? I mean I love that you're asking me like 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.679 I have like caviar and pool breath this tacos in morning. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.680 But so if you do a quick internet search, it's 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:42.320 supposedly nutty and earthy, and it tastes like manchigo. It 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:44.960 doesn't sound like that special. But I actually read this 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:49.559 review from this cheese blogger, Missed cheesemonger who's a cheese 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:53.080 connoisseur from San Francisco, and it immediately made me want 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.520 to try some. So this is what she says. Quote. 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.960 Once I took a bite, I understood what made this 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:00.880 cheese special. There were so many layers a flavor, from 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:03.680 demi cell butter at the foundation to the middle flavors 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.400 of sweet grasses to the extremely heady floral notes that 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:11.479 lingered in a ridiculously long finish. This was no ordinary 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:14.880 fresh cheese. It was aromatic to the extreme. I might 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.240 as well have been inhaling the scent of milk on 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:21.600 a Serbian hillside. Texture Wise, it is not so unusual. Oh, 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:25.200 but that lingering, longing aftertaste, it was like nothing I 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:26.000 had ever tasted. 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:28.240 I actually just ordered some on Amazon while you were 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:29.839 talking about it. It sounded so appealing. 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:32.359 So she points out there are only about one hundred 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:34.919 jennies or female donkeys that can produce the milk for 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.839 the special cheese, and the fresh cheese is often best 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.520 eaten the day it's made, which I'm sure also drives 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:41.159 up that price. 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:44.000 And actually that's the cheese that Djokovic was supposedly trying 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:44.960 to corner the market on. 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:47.800 Right, Yeah, and you know I heard so much about that. 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.520 It was basically this drummed up story that the producers 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:53.679 at the farm and a poorly sourced Daily Mail article 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:57.160 made up. But Djokovic apparently has no interest in a 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:58.599 monopoly on donkey cheese. 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.200 Okay, mainly tennis y okay, got it's all right? So 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.200 that's number one. What's number two on your list? 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:06.320 Moose cheese, okay, which feels like it could use better 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.920 branding than just moose cheese. But it goes for five 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:10.880 hundred dollars a pound, and again. 0:06:10.839 --> 0:06:13.320 For steel compared with some donkey cheese's. 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:16.359 Pretty laborious because you're trying to milk a twelve hundred 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.400 pound moose. Here. It's made from a place called the 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:23.200 Elkhouse in Sweden, and according to Chef's pencil, all the 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:28.800 moose cheese comes from three moose named Goulan, Juna, and Helga. 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:32.120 Okay, Helga's cheese is my favorite, obviously, yeah, of course, 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:34.960 of course, wow that is that's fascinating. I do want 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:36.840 to try both of those. And I feel like all 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.039 these cheeses are expensive because they're not goat or cow cheeses. 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.560 So I'm I'm predicting number three is going to be 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:43.320 elephant cheese. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:46.160 Am I right? Well, no elephant cheese on my list. 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:48.000 But I do feel like the next few cheeses that 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:51.080 are listed across the internet as the most expensive cheeses 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:54.440 are kind of frauds. Like there's Stilt and Gold, which 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.440 is flecked with this edible gold leaf, which I don't 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:00.560 feel like it should count because it's almost like saying, like, 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.719 I mean you the world's most expensive burger, and I 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:07.000 put truffles under a big matt something right, Like, it's 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:10.280 not really expensive on its own. But I'm going to 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:14.280 say number three is Wyke Farm Cheddar. It's supposedly this 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:17.480 incredibly tasty cheddar. It sells for two hundred dollars a pound, 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:19.760 and the family that makes it has kept the recipe 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:21.560 of secret since eighteen sixty one. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:24.120 Okay, all right, So at two hundred dollars a pound, 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.480 if you're stealing one of these giant wheels of cheddar, 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:28.800 you could make a lot of money off of that. 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:31.360 But doesn't it feel like stealing one of these super 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.640 expensive cheeses is almost like stealing a Picasso off the 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:37.200 wall of a museum, Like it's worth a lot more. 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.680 But also someone is going to be looking for you. 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:42.880 Yeah, and there's some cheese detectives out there who specialize 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:44.840 in cheese thefts, which is pretty amazing. 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:46.800 I love that as a job. All Right, I do 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:48.840 want to hear about that, But before we do, let's 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:52.520 talk about cheese's origins. So just a quick primer on this. 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.080 While we don't know the first instance of humans making cheese, 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:59.120 we do know that cheesemaking is related to the domestication 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:02.320 of milk producing animals. No surprise there, now, that goes 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.680 back about eight to ten thousand years ago. You can 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:08.840 also find cheesemaking in Greek mythology, which is pretty interesting 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.120 to see. And there's evidence of cheese and cheesemaking that's 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:15.640 been found on Egyptian two murals. These date back probably 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.600 four thousands incredible. Yeah, it's a long time ago. But 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:22.160 the truth is cheese was probably discovered accidentally. 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:25.480 So I actually remember that bit because we did a 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:29.000 show about craft singles and we talked about how cheese, penicillin, 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:32.240 and the slinky were like the greatest accidental. 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:37.040 Distoperes easy, easy, top three, all equally important. But there 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:39.720 are a few different theories of how we got cheese. 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:41.800 It could have been the practice of storing milk and 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.760 containers made from stomachs of animals. We've talked about that 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:48.600 a little bit which naturally contained this enzyme called rennet, 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:51.840 and that would cause the milk to coagulate. It separates 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:55.360 into curds and whey. Now, another possibility is the practice 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:58.960 of salting curdled milk for preservation, or the addition of 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.720 fruit juices to milk, which would result in the curdling 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:02.439 of the milk. 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.840 It's kind of like how my kids accidentally make cheese 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:07.199 when they leave a carton of milk in the back 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:10.000 of the fridge. Tea long, but I can't imagine eating 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:10.720 that now. 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:12.680 It's not the type of thing Dylan I think would 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:14.600 serve on a ritz cracker. I don't see it on 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:17.280 the plate back there. But if you dump some salt 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:21.400 on that glop, you basically have early cheese. The Roman 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:25.200 Empire produced and traded hundreds of varieties of cheese, so 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.040 it was certainly an industry back then, and trade with 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:31.040 Europe could explain how the cheese got to Asia. But 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.560 there could have been parallel thinking at work here too, 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:37.520 the Tibetans, the Mongolians, They've also got this long history 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.600 of producing cheeses. And of course, cheese has been produced 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:43.840 in America since the early seventeenth century, when the English 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:47.520 Puritans brought their knowledge of dairy farming and cheesemaking from 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.880 the Old World over to the colonies. 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.760 Right and now Americans are so obsessed with cheese that 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:56.120 we feel comfortable wearing like giant cheese hats on our 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:57.240 heads to sports games. 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:59.920 I love those cheeseheats. I've alway thought about getting one. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:04.120 I never have. But interestingly, Wisconsin didn't start out in 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:07.480 the cheese business really this date was actually a leading 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.920 wheat supplier before the Civil War, but as crop eels 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:14.280 started to fail, Wisconsin farmers knew they needed to pivot 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:16.960 to something, and they pivoted to dairy. Now. At the 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:19.959 same time, settlers from New England and Ohio and New 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.920 York and other places in that region they started moving west, 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:26.199 as did the Europeans. So all of these folks start 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.600 bringing this interest in cheese and knowledge of cheese production 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:33.280 to the area. So the result is today that Wisconsin 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:36.800 produces more than a quarter of all domestic cheese in 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:37.240 the US. 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:38.520 I had no idea about that. 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:41.000 Yeah, cheese is of course a huge business, part of 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:43.800 why we're talking about it here. But the US cheese 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.760 retail market is growing and it's slated to reach twenty 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:50.480 seven point eight billion dollars by twenty twenty eight. 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:50.880 Wow. 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:53.440 The retail cheese sales in the UK are expected to 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:56.760 reach five point two billion euros by twenty twenty eight. 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.959 So obviously a huge amounts of money, and it makes sense. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.880 That's why cheese crime is a thing. 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.160 Yeah, and as far as commodities that are worth stealing, 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:08.720 cheese is ripe. But yeah, you like what I did there, 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:11.640 But think about it compared to the other dairy products. 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:14.600 It's durable, and it's easy to transport. It doesn't melt 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.000 like ice cream or spill or leak or spoil as 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:20.240 fast as milk. And it's ubiquitous like it's in cuisines 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:24.480 around the world. People everywhere love cheese, which makes it 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:28.400 easier to sell. Plus, unlike guns or drugs, cheese is 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:33.000 mostly legal, which is a good segue into some cheese jackings. 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:35.080 This was a big thing in Italy back in two 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:38.439 thousand and six. Apparently gangs would lie in wait at 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:42.920 service stations on the Milan Bologna Motorway and as soon 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.839 as a truck driver would stop for coffee, they'd ambush them. Yeah, 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.400 it kind of makes driving a cheese truck seem pretty dangerous. 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:52.439 Yeah. And in one instance, a driver was threatened by 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:55.040 four armed men and then tied up while his van 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:59.040 carrying three hundred wheels of cheese was driven away. The 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.520 cheese wheels were then taken to this industrial estate. They 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:03.760 were cut up and sold in stores, and this happened 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.520 for quite a while with different bands of criminals. In 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.040 twenty fifteen, a group of criminals were arrested in modern 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.640 Enough for stealing roughly nine hundred thousand dollars worth of 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:17.360 parmesan cheese. Yeah, and according to the Italian news site 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:20.920 Al Soul twenty four, the criminals were so savvy that 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.559 they stole over twenty thirty nine wheels of parmesan reggiano 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:27.240 cheese over the course of roughly two years. 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:30.520 It feels so weird that there's basically this like Ocean's 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.199 eleven of cheese and I don't know, there's something fascinating 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.199 about it, but in general, it must be so hard 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.840 to catch a cheese thief because it's not like you 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.760 can track these like using GPS or anything like that. 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:44.160 Yeah, So producers and the Italian farmers union, which is 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.960 called Clodaretti, are experimenting with microchips and they're hidden in 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.560 the crusts of the cheese, which means they are actually 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:54.000 more identifiable. They also have markings burnt on the crust 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.080 so that you can help police track the stolen cheese. 0:12:57.080 --> 0:13:01.160 But it's still a huge problem. A survey by Coldoretti 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.120 found that parmesan is the most shoplifted item in Italy. 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.000 Oh wow, it's a little different than here where it's 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.600 mostly like I would guess, batteries and deodorant or something 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:09.000 like that. 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:12.199 Yeah, but you know, we might need that deodorant because 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:16.400 we're also hard at work stealing cheese. It's not just Italy. 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:20.320 In twenty sixteen, seventy thousand pounds of cheese were stolen 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:24.160 from a cheese store in Germantown, Wisconsin and later recovered 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:28.439 in Milwaukee. Apparently the thieves i'mdoing was trying to sell 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:31.040 the cheese on the cheap, like they tried to hawk 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:33.920 their contraband cheese for just a dollar a pound. And 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.880 as you well know, no self respecting Wisconsin retailer would 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:41.880 expect to pay so total, and nor would they buy 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.240 the cheese without knowing its prominence. But you know, these 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:48.760 thefts they make the Wisconsin cheese community really really upset. 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:53.320 There's this guy, Tyson Wormheister, the co owner of Mars 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.720 Cheese Castle, and he said, a cheese like that not 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:57.880 available for use. 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.640 It saddens me. I feel like I need to know 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.559 what Mars Cheese Castle is. 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.360 It's a castle shaped restaurant specializing in cheese. 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:09.680 Okay, that sounds abye right. Well, I know we want 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.160 to talk more about cheese crimes, and of course those 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.959 cheese detectives that you teased earlier. But let's take a 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:32.680 quick break first. Welcome back to Part Time Genius, where 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.920 we're talking cheese crimes. So there are obviously lots of 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:39.200 these cheese stuff stories. There's this one from twenty thirteen 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.880 where a guy showed up to a manufacturer in Wisconsin, 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:45.280 forged a bunch of paperwork, then drove away with two 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:49.040 hundred thousand dollars worth of monster. There's a story from 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.360 France in twenty fifteen where thieves broke into a dairy 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:56.520 and stole one hundred wheels of specialty Conte cheese. They 0:14:56.520 --> 0:15:01.600 boosted four tons, four tons of cheese. And there's another 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.240 of these high stories from a seller in France where 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:09.240 seven hundred blocks of delicious Saint Nectar cheese were stolen. 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:12.520 It's amazing, I mean, just how much cheese these bandits 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.640 are taking off with. It's not a little bit of cheese. 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:17.920 Yeah, it's insane, which brings us to cheese detectives. This 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.560 is great piece on the Today's Show site about this officer. 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.960 His name's Inspector Georgia Cappovanni. 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:26.680 Which sounds right for a cheese detective. 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:29.440 And this is from two thousand and eight, so it's 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.080 a little dated, but the agency actually still exists. But 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:34.520 this is what the article says about him. Quote in 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:38.000 the wild West of gastronomical ripoffs, men like Cappovanni are 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:41.240 a kind of sheriff. They're sworn judicial officers who can 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:46.680 demand admission to premises, examine documentation, and confiscate products at wholesalers, 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:50.040 warehouses or supermarket aisles. And according to the article, they 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.440 can even tote weapons if they want. It talks about 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.640 how Cappavanni and his men race around Europe protecting Italy's 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.240 very special products like matrella from buffala is one hams 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:02.480 from Parma or whatever. They'll go into what the article 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.680 describes as cathedrals of ham these shops where the meat 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.120 is just air drying and warehouses, and they'll poke the 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.280 hem with this special needle made from the shin bone 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:15.680 of a horse and that apparently releases these extraordinary aromas. 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.560 Then the inspector, who I guess is also a gormand 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.400 will sniff the needle to make sure it has that 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:24.520 special Parma proscudo scent. Apparently they see something like a 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:27.640 thousand Parma ham knockoffs in one of these raids. 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:29.920 And then how do they catch these folks. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.040 Apparently one of these ham counterfeiters had like twenty aliases 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:37.080 and the Spanish police have been chasing them around for decades. 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:40.200 But Capavani and his team have this whole network of 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:43.960 salespeople who double as informants, and so they tip off 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:46.880 the investigators whenever they sent something fishy. There are people 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:49.240 out there doing much more interesting stuff. 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.840 Than we are, legal and illegal. But are they now 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.400 doing this for cheese as well? 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.440 Yeah, and more than stopping the heist, this team is 0:16:56.560 --> 0:17:00.240 basically set up to chase ripoffs, right, Like the producers 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:03.040 know that if people start thinking parmeham is a less 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.399 quality ham and it's less sweet, then they'll start thinking like, 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.560 what's the difference between that and some of those sort 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.760 of like grocery knockoffs or whatever. Right, And it's the 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:14.840 same for cheese. So there's this scene of Capavanni running 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:17.359 his hand across a rind and pointing out why this 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.359 branding on a food is clearly counterfeit. Apparently there's a 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:24.320 whole system of branding machines that the authenticated manufacturers use 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:28.359 that makes slightly imperfect marks to thwart counterfeiters, and the 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:32.280 machines are really closely monitored. They're switched out every three months, 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:35.359 which you know feels insane, But Cappavanni takes pride and 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:38.040 sniffing out the fakes, and in fact, he claims to 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.840 have a museum of hundreds of fraudulent parmesans. 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:44.880 Yeah, I know, there's this whole world of fakes out there. 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:46.520 This is one of the things that kept coming up 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.280 as we were preparing for this episode. And you know, 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.480 the old saying I think is something like if your 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:55.200 cheese is fishy, it might be sawdust. I don't think. 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.440 I don't think I know that familiar with that one. 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:00.440 I think mamma had it cross stitched on a pillow point. 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:04.320 But back in twenty sixteen, Time revealed a jaw dropping 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:08.440 report on manufacturers like Castle Cheese not to be confused 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:11.120 with the Mars cheese Castle that you talked about before, 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:15.720 which produced quote parmesan that contains significant amounts of wood 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.080 pulp as a filler. 0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:18.840 It's like a cheese made for termites. 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:22.639 Yes, it's gross. And some experts believe about a fifth 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:26.520 of the parmesan cheese bought at grocery stores is actually mislabeled, 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:30.320 and representatives for the Emman Taylor cheesemakers, which we usually 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:34.160 refer to as Swiss cheese, say that around ten percent 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:37.280 of the Swiss cheese of the market is fake. It's 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:41.840 true for all kinds of cheese Manchego, Camembert, but parmesan 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:46.280 is hit particularly hard. Sales of Parmigano regiano cheese are 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:49.520 about two point four to four billion, according to Food 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:53.359 and Wine, but fake parmesan takes an almost equal wedge 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.080 of the wheel, with about two point oh eight billion 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.840 dollars every single year. I didn't realize the size of 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.399 the market. Yeah. Well, weirdly, cheese has been stuffed with 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:05.560 more sinister substances than just sawdust. And twenty twenty three 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:09.840 customs officials encountered a pickup truck transporting four large wheels 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:13.800 of cheese from Mexico into Texas, and they had hunch 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:15.680 that something was off. 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:18.880 Here, which doesn't sound strange at all. I always load 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:20.800 up my truck with the giant cheese wheels. 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.520 Yeah yeah, yeah, Well, actually an X ray scan of 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:27.640 these cheese revealed quote anomalies there which upon further inspection, 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:31.280 turned out to be seventeen point eight pounds of cocaine. 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:37.440 So that feels like that's an anomaly. You know this? Yes, yeah, 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:39.440 now this is fair. I have never I don't think 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:42.680 I've eaten cheese with a bunch of cocaine. But it's 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.280 a good idea hiding stuff in cheese. Like if you 0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:47.480 wanted to propose, and you put a diamond ring and 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:50.080 you know, deep in a wheel of cheese, there your 0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:52.920 you know your potential fiance would never go digging around 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:54.679 in there. It's a great place to hide stuff. 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.440 Speaking of soft cheeses, do you know that Switzerland used 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:00.000 to have a cartel that was responsible for the popular 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:00.960 already a fun due. 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:03.399 Wait did you say a cartel? I mean it was 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.800 more of a union, all right, So why did you 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:07.679 say cartel? I'm curious. 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:11.399 I'm a Brooklyn dad, I need some excitement, and I 0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:13.600 guess more than a few articles online referred to it 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:16.320