WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: Bookstore Friend Zone

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<v Speaker 1>Bread and butter wines pair with the life moments you love,

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<v Speaker 1>offering a rich and jammy Cabernet sauvignon, a silky smooth

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<v Speaker 1>piano now are, and a buttery Chardonnay. Bread and butter

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<v Speaker 1>wines are delicious. Find a bread and butter wines in

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite store. Second day. Have you ever been out

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<v Speaker 1>somewhere and seen like one of those old phone booths

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<v Speaker 1>that's still around and you're like, oh my god, I

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<v Speaker 1>forgot about those. Seriously, my kids came across one not

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<v Speaker 1>long ago and they didn't know what it was. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you doing that? Why are there so many buttons? It's

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<v Speaker 1>like when you walk into a business and they have

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<v Speaker 1>a fax machine in the office and they're like, Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>did I step back in time. One of our listeners

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<v Speaker 1>says she met a guy in an old fashioned kind

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<v Speaker 1>of place. All right. Her name is Kara, and she

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<v Speaker 1>emailed our show for help. Hey Carol, what's up? Hey guys,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you? I feel like you met him at

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<v Speaker 1>the mall or something. Tell us about the guy that

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<v Speaker 1>she met. What's his name and where did you meet him? So?

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<v Speaker 1>His name is Clinton and we actually met at a bookstore.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that is fast. Yeah, I can't believe those are

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<v Speaker 1>still around. Ye. Hey, support your local bookstores, the independent ones. Awesome. Yeah, yeah, nobody.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I draw a parade or something. Big reader. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>So what happened with you and Clinton? How did you

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<v Speaker 1>end up meeting? So we actually were in the same book, Aisle.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really into Dolores Cannon. She was like a medium,

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<v Speaker 1>kind of into that metaphysical stuff. Oh nice, Hosy doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>know what he's talk He was into that world too, well, yeah, apparently. So, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>he kind of approached me first, and you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>were just talking about the books that we were into,

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<v Speaker 1>and we've probably talked for a good I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>twenty minut it okay, and then he actually asked me

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<v Speaker 1>for my number. Okay. Oh god, was your heart like

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<v Speaker 1>Pumpin written? It was? It was so like kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like movie scene. It was really kind of cool. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>So what did you guys end up doing when you

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<v Speaker 1>went up for a date or was this a date? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>we were texting. We texted for like a week trying

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<v Speaker 1>to set up a date. We just really couldn't get

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<v Speaker 1>our schedules together, and so this was kind of really ironic.

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<v Speaker 1>The book that I had purchased that day. When I

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<v Speaker 1>took it home, it was ripped in the back and

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't realize it whenever, like the last few pages

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<v Speaker 1>were ripped. So I just wanted to return it. And

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<v Speaker 1>when I returned the book, he was there again. Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>So we just titch at it for a minute, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you know, we finally set up the date and

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<v Speaker 1>the like, the other thing that's kind of odd is

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<v Speaker 1>our date was at a coffee shop that was actually

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<v Speaker 1>near that bookstore, and I'm like, I don't know, like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just some type of way because I want to

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<v Speaker 1>kind of get out of that scene. Like I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>into this guy, but I feel like the wait, did

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<v Speaker 1>you do the coffee date? Yeah? Yeah, how was that?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean there was no flirting. It felt friendly. I

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<v Speaker 1>was flirting, but I don't know. This is why I

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<v Speaker 1>need your help, because I'm really bad at this. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't I don't know if maybe it's just my paranoia

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<v Speaker 1>that's getting to me, but I just I want to

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<v Speaker 1>like go out with him, like let's take a night

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<v Speaker 1>and get all dressed up and go out and really

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<v Speaker 1>get to know each other. And so this like coffee

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<v Speaker 1>shop stuff. So you're saying you weren't impressed with his

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<v Speaker 1>date decisions and you were looking for something a little

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<v Speaker 1>more elaborate, maybe like a dinner in a movie. So

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<v Speaker 1>I think I think it sounds like she wants to

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<v Speaker 1>go drinking with him and have a real da It

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like to me, or like breakfast and lunch a

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<v Speaker 1>little friend zony, you know, yeah, I mean breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>only sexy if it's the next morning. Yeah, totally okay.

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<v Speaker 1>But so since you're disappointing coffee date, has he tried

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<v Speaker 1>to reach out to you at all? I mean we

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<v Speaker 1>texted just like silly little messages here and there. He's

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<v Speaker 1>not like blowing me off completely. I just don't feel

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<v Speaker 1>like he wants like an actual, like go out on

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<v Speaker 1>the town date. Why do you feel that, though, because

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<v Speaker 1>he hasn't really taken me out. It's it's just really

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<v Speaker 1>strange because you know, he asked me for my number,

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<v Speaker 1>but a couple of times that I've seen him, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we were surrounded at books or coffee ye, And it's

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<v Speaker 1>not really like progressing in a more romantic way. So

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<v Speaker 1>you're taking charge of the situation. Yeah, you want at

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<v Speaker 1>least move from the coffee shop to the Cinnabon, Like

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<v Speaker 1>you know, at this point, I would totally take Cinnabon

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<v Speaker 1>over another coffee. So are you looking for us to

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<v Speaker 1>try to switch his mind on the friend zone thing

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<v Speaker 1>or do you just want an explanation? Well? Both, I

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<v Speaker 1>would like an explanation, and I mean, I really would

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<v Speaker 1>like to have something more with this guy. I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>into him. He seems really cool. He's not really the

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<v Speaker 1>type of guy that I would go out with, so

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<v Speaker 1>I think I'm really fascinated with that because I usually state,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, jockeys kind of guys. Okay, it's wealthy men. No,

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<v Speaker 1>she said, jockey. She likes little guys. Okay, well, let's

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<v Speaker 1>find out what's going on with this guy. We're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>play a song, we'll come back, we'll call him and

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<v Speaker 1>try and get your second date update. Okay, Kara, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you if you're just tuning in for the second date update.

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<v Speaker 1>One of our listeners, Kara, met a guy named Clinton

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<v Speaker 1>at a bookstore while they were perusing the same aisle

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<v Speaker 1>for reading materials, and they ended up hanging out at

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<v Speaker 1>a coffee shop near the bookstore, and she found out

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<v Speaker 1>she really likes him, and right now they are texting,

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<v Speaker 1>but she feels like she's not getting the vibe that

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<v Speaker 1>he wants to continue to pursue their connection and go

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<v Speaker 1>on a bigger, more romantic style date, and she's not

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<v Speaker 1>really sure why that is. So she's reached out to

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<v Speaker 1>us for help. And Kara, I was thinking about this

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<v Speaker 1>during the break. Have you ever considered that you might

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<v Speaker 1>not be sending him strong enough romantic vibes where he'll

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<v Speaker 1>know that you're interested because guys just aren't very good

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<v Speaker 1>at reading signs and women. I actually never thought of

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<v Speaker 1>that idea. Sometimes you really have to paint a clear

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<v Speaker 1>picture for us. So, if it comes down to it, Kara,

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<v Speaker 1>are you willing to wear sexy lingerie in the bookstore

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<v Speaker 1>to really just send the message so that Clinton knows

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<v Speaker 1>for sure? Hay, I'm interested in more than just a

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<v Speaker 1>coffee hang out. How do you feel about that, Kara?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think going it with an overcoade on

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<v Speaker 1>and like like, I like ar if he's that dumb,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, come on, I just dropped my bookmark. All

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<v Speaker 1>of a sudden, Jose has taken up reading. Yeah, very strange.

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<v Speaker 1>Pon't take it to a four Star restaurant after he

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<v Speaker 1>sees that. I mean, I'm willing to really do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I just, you know, want to see where he's at

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<v Speaker 1>with this. Okay, and we're good. You go log onto

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<v Speaker 1>some like Victoria's Secret websites and I'll talk to Clinton

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<v Speaker 1>while we do that. Okay, on to Victoria's Secret while

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<v Speaker 1>we're all right, it's justin ki obviously Savage fenty that

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<v Speaker 1>everybody's you go find that. We're going to do Clinton's

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<v Speaker 1>phone number. Ready to do this. She's on the website. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>she's she's searching. Hi. Good, I'm down number right now

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<v Speaker 1>here we go. Hello, Hi, I'm looking to speak with Clinton. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>this is him speaking? Is this hy Clinton? My name

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<v Speaker 1>is Jeffrey from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in

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<v Speaker 1>the Morning. Do you have a second to talk with us? Um?

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<v Speaker 1>I guess. So. We do a segment on our show

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<v Speaker 1>called a second Date Update. That's where if you go

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<v Speaker 1>out with someone and afterwards, if that person isn't calling

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<v Speaker 1>you back, you can email us and we'll reach out

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<v Speaker 1>to your date or you to figure out why they've

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<v Speaker 1>been avoiding you. Okay, And so we got an email

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<v Speaker 1>recently from a girl who says she had a very

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<v Speaker 1>nice time hanging out with you, and she's hoping to

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<v Speaker 1>pursue more of a romantic connection. Her name is Kara.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, and I guess it's not like totally normal

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<v Speaker 1>because she did say you guys have been texting back

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<v Speaker 1>and forth. It's not like you haven't ghosted or anything.

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<v Speaker 1>She hasn't accused you of that. Yeah. No, carry is

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<v Speaker 1>a great girl. M Yeah, why is that anytime she's great?

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<v Speaker 1>That's friends zoned? What are you talking about? Want her

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<v Speaker 1>to say never met a hot girl that I wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to hook up with that. I'm like, she's great, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the tone of when you say great, it's like yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she's like, oh yeah, but she's great. Is good? But

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<v Speaker 1>like she's great? Yeah's not okay? Just ask you, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>Just ask you. Are you friends zoning her? I mean

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just getting to know her, and you know that's

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<v Speaker 1>she's kind of how it's been going. Yeah okay, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, to be fair, Haara thinks that you're great too,

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<v Speaker 1>and she really wants to get to know you more.

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<v Speaker 1>She doesn't she had a nice time hanging out with you.

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<v Speaker 1>But if she's been completely honest, she feels like you're

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<v Speaker 1>not that interested in taking things further. Is that true?

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't say that's true. I'm definitely interested, but there's

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<v Speaker 1>there's just some things that, um, you know, I'm taking

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<v Speaker 1>my time with and just you know, being a bit

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<v Speaker 1>protective of the situation we need to bring up with

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<v Speaker 1>your current girlfriend. Yeah, that that does sound like what

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<v Speaker 1>you're saying. Yeah, why are you HEAs say situation? Are

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<v Speaker 1>you single? Oh? Yeah I am, I'm single. Okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So when did you plan on calling her and taking

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<v Speaker 1>her out again? We've been talking and trying to you know,

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<v Speaker 1>coordinate our schedule. It's just been a bit tough. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the thing. She's tired of talking. She wants to do something.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you've got to understand too, like people are

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<v Speaker 1>jaded in the dating world right now, right she feels

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<v Speaker 1>like you're gonna ghost is what it feels like. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>the entire situation with Kara is it's really been gnawing

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<v Speaker 1>at me, and I obviously I'm not sure on how

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<v Speaker 1>to discuss it with her, but it is something that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, it's been bothering me. I do eventually want

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<v Speaker 1>to talk to her about Okay, okay, So there is

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<v Speaker 1>something underlying for why you're taking your time with this.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you mind telling us about it? Maybe we could

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<v Speaker 1>help you through it. You can even be really general

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<v Speaker 1>about it, you don't have to get too specific. But

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<v Speaker 1>we're trying to help out one of our listeners. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>she's worried if this goes on any longer, it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to end up in the friend zone for her too.

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<v Speaker 1>So let's fix this now. Okay. Well, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how much she's told you guys in terms of how

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<v Speaker 1>we met and whatnot, but we met at this bookstore

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<v Speaker 1>and it was a might sound tevy, but a really

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<v Speaker 1>magical moment and that is cute. She did say that

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<v Speaker 1>it felt like it was like a movie scene, like

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<v Speaker 1>it was a meat cute. So what's the problem. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>the issue is as I actually was heading to work

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<v Speaker 1>when we met, and where I was heading to work

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<v Speaker 1>is actually at that bookstore, and I didn't want her

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<v Speaker 1>to know that I work there because it just felt

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<v Speaker 1>like it would have ruined the moment. It was just

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<v Speaker 1>such a great moment. And so you know, we've been meeting,

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<v Speaker 1>we've met a couple of times, and I know that

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<v Speaker 1>it's usually around the bookstore or why. I don't understand.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not understanding. Why would it be bad if she

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<v Speaker 1>knows that you work at the books. I don't get

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<v Speaker 1>that either. I don't know. I just it's not the

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<v Speaker 1>most attractive job position, especially considering getting to know her

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<v Speaker 1>in the brief time that we have spent together. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of the guys that she's dated, you know, they've

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<v Speaker 1>had a bit more real type of jobs. And yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and now and now I feel a bit conflicted because

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<v Speaker 1>we've known each other now for a little bit over

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<v Speaker 1>a month, and I feel like I should have just

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<v Speaker 1>told her from the beginning, And now I just it

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<v Speaker 1>feels awkward, and I don't know how to tell her

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<v Speaker 1>that sweet really is. But I also think like you

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<v Speaker 1>shouldn't compare yourself to the guy she dated in the past.

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<v Speaker 1>Those guys obviously didn't work out, and she's a book lover,

0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:10.280
<v Speaker 1>Like what could be better? She gets discounts, I mean,

0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:14.800
<v Speaker 1>rat to be fair, she kind of should compare him

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:16.839
<v Speaker 1>to the other guys from the past, based on the

0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:19.679
<v Speaker 1>type of dates that she says that she wants. I mean,

0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.120
<v Speaker 1>I would hope that she would be understanding. I just

0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:24.599
<v Speaker 1>don't want this to be a deal breaker, and I

0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:26.719
<v Speaker 1>kind of feel like, now it's a bit too far.

0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:31.080
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, well yeah, well, I mean I do wonder

0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:34.079
<v Speaker 1>how Kara feels about this, because actually I need to

0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:35.840
<v Speaker 1>let you know, Clinton that she's on the other line

0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:38.920
<v Speaker 1>listening and wants to talk to you. Wait. Oh yeah,

0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.360
<v Speaker 1>I forgot you guys can talk to each other. Yeah,

0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 1>this is She's been listening to me this whole time.

0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes there, Oh my god, here Clinton, high oh listen.

0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:01.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm actually so relieved, Like, if that's really the reason,

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.800
<v Speaker 1>please don't be embarrassed. I think that's awesome. Like, I mean,

0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:09.800
<v Speaker 1>it's nice to hear you say that, that makes you

0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:12.200
<v Speaker 1>happy and whatnot. But I don't know if you remember

0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:14.280
<v Speaker 1>the conversation we had about the other guys who dated

0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:18.800
<v Speaker 1>and the jobs that they've had, not necessarily m on

0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.040
<v Speaker 1>the bookstore level, so I just thought that they treated

0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 1>me not well. So I don't job status doesn't really

0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:27.760
<v Speaker 1>matter to me. I mean, as long as you're a

0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.679
<v Speaker 1>decent person. Well, okay, I mean that's great to hear,

0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.599
<v Speaker 1>but I just want you to know it's not you know,

0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.199
<v Speaker 1>I work at a bookstore, like it, I don't make

0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:37.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot of money there. It's not like I take

0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:41.080
<v Speaker 1>your fancy places like you're used to and whatnot. So hey,

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:43.720
<v Speaker 1>you get a twenty percent discount at that bookstore cafe.

0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:50.720
<v Speaker 1>Don't sell yourself short. You definitely get your discount. You guys,

0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:54.080
<v Speaker 1>we have our own money. She can take you out.

0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.839
<v Speaker 1>Oh I'm a simple girl. I don't you know. I

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.640
<v Speaker 1>don't really need wined and dined all the time, maybe

0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.840
<v Speaker 1>just every once in a while. You know, I wanted

0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.640
<v Speaker 1>to do that, and I've wanted to take you out.

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:06.920
<v Speaker 1>It's just been a bit tough with with my schedule.

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.800
<v Speaker 1>But I hope that we can definitely make that happen,

0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:13.080
<v Speaker 1>especially now that you know what's going on. All right, Well,

0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.959
<v Speaker 1>I mean this sounds like it's going well. And really, Clinton,

0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.520
<v Speaker 1>I have a red Lobster gift card with your name

0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:22.600
<v Speaker 1>on it. Oh yes, show me those cheddar biscuits. We're

0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.120
<v Speaker 1>really moving up here. Would you like to go out

0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 1>on another date with Kara? We will pay for it.

0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I would love to go out with her, And that's

0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:31.880
<v Speaker 1>very generous to you, guys, But I should let you

0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.400
<v Speaker 1>know I am allergic to shellfish. Okay, show up. You

0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.880
<v Speaker 1>can just get the sides of spaking biscuits. Yeah, we

0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:40.720
<v Speaker 1>have a lot of gift cards. We'll find one that

0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:43.440
<v Speaker 1>doesn't serve seafood and you guys can go there. I

0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.120
<v Speaker 1>would love that. I appreciate that. Oh, you guys are

0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:50.800
<v Speaker 1>so cute. Are you excited, Kara? I mean I was excited,

0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:54.160
<v Speaker 1>but the shellfish thing is kind of a dealbreaker for me. What.

0:14:54.840 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh she's got jokes, Yes he does. All right, Well,

0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:06.520
<v Speaker 1>congratulations to you two. Thank you so much, guys, but

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.680
<v Speaker 1>definitely hold on to that lingerie. Okay, Kara, Oh okay,

0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:13.920
<v Speaker 1>wait what lingerie? Oh you'll find out soon, but don't worry.

0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:16.480
<v Speaker 1>Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.