1 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,239 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:23,280 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello. Everyone, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. If you're joining us for 6 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: the first time. What an episode to choose, And I 7 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 1: think it's going to be particularly fun but full of 8 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,639 Speaker 1: some good insights. Maybe possibly let me know after you've 9 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: done listening. Yeah, this is more of a chatty episode. 10 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: When I do like structured episodes, they take so long, 11 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: they take like four hours, five hours to research and record. 12 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: And sometimes there's moments like this where I just have 13 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: this thought, I have something I want to talk about, 14 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: and I just think it feels more authentic to just discuss, 15 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: just to share what I think about it, instead of 16 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: going into you know, journal articles and peer reviewed studies. 17 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: And this just happened to be one of those moments 18 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: where I'm going to talk about loneliness today. We're going 19 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: to talk about what it feels like to be lonely, 20 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: why we feel lonely. Yeah, kind of darker, I don't know. 21 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: I still think it's just such an important thing to 22 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: talk about. I don't know what's going around in the 23 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: world at the moment, but so many people, so many 24 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: of my friends that I'm talking to, are really feeling 25 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: this way. Have been having this feeling for a while, 26 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: and I've been trying to put my finger on it 27 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: because I'm in the same boat. And the thing that 28 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: I've come to the conclusion is is that in your twenties, especially, 29 00:01:55,160 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: everything is so transformative. Everything is changing, and the life 30 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: that you had a couple of years ago, even six 31 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: months ago, is not the same life that you have now. 32 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: And as my friends are getting into their mid and 33 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: late twenties, there's been some pretty major life adjustments, both 34 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: positive and not not so much negative, but hard ones, 35 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: difficult life changes, and I think that creates this sense 36 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 1: of loneliness that so many people, and so many of 37 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: my friends and I have been discussing recently, you know, moving, 38 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: moving into new jobs, changing your life structure. Gone of 39 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: the days when we were all in UNI or just 40 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: out of high school, or in our first jobs or 41 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 1: trades and had a lot of free time and had 42 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 1: a lot of time to see each other to form 43 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,959 Speaker 1: new connections. We just had so many more opportunities to 44 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: meet people and to feel seen and to feel understood, 45 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: and we just don't have that anymore. A lot of 46 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: my friends are getting their first full time jobs. That's 47 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: like eight hours out of every day that now you 48 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: spend with co workers instead of you know, your friends, 49 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 1: instead of people that whose company you really enjoy. Maybe 50 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: you love your coworkers, but I would say for the 51 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: most part, it's a job. It's it's different to the 52 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: people you'd choose. And the other thing I've noticed is 53 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: a lot of my friends have gotten partners. And there's 54 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: kind of two reasons. This creates like not a loneliness, 55 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: but like a dynamic of like disconnect. Sometimes you know, 56 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: you spend so much more time with your partner, that 57 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: being one thing, and I guess if you don't do 58 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: it right, you can end up feeling like you've lost people, 59 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: feeling like you're missing out on fun things. And then 60 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: for your friends, so like suff as myself. A lot 61 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: of my friends have gotten partners recently or in the 62 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: last year, and of course their life is going to 63 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: be more centered around the people they're going to grow with, 64 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: you know, romantically and intimately and build their lives with. 65 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,119 Speaker 1: And it can feel like you're quite on the out 66 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: if you haven't found that person yet. And that's something 67 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: I really want to discuss today because I've just been 68 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: thinking about it a lot, and thinking about what it 69 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: means to outgrow people, what it means to feel lonely 70 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: after you've lost people, and does that really mean it's 71 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: a bad thing. That's something that's been on my mind 72 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: as I've moved, as I've grown, a lot of people 73 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: just not in touch with anymore. And it means that 74 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: the quantity of friends I have has reduced, but has 75 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: the quality really reduced as a result as well. That's 76 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 1: something we're going to tackle also. And the media, movies, films, 77 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: how are they contributing to this kind of dialogue that 78 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: to feel lonely is to be a failure, is to 79 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: be alone, when that's not really the case. Yeah, just 80 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: a lot of things. A less structured episode today, if 81 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: that's what you like, or then you've chosen a great 82 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: a great time to listen in. If not, we will 83 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: be back with the highly researched episodes next week. But 84 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,600 Speaker 1: let's get into it. Let's get into my thoughts on 85 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 1: the topic of loneliness. So I've been feeling lonely recently. 86 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: Maybe you kind of got that from the first part 87 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: of this episode, but I've been feeling really lonely and 88 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: I've been trying to kind of come to terms with 89 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: that and in some ways fix it, but also appreciate 90 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 1: the emotion for what it is. Loneliness. These days, I 91 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: think we have a tendency to really fear it, but 92 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: we also feel a lot deeper and a lot stronger, 93 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: and it's more kind of in our faces when we 94 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: do feel like we're not surrounded by good people, are 95 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: not supported, or don't have community because of social media. 96 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,159 Speaker 1: Seeing everyone else with their amazing bands of friends and 97 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: doing incredible things, it makes the feeling you have within 98 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,279 Speaker 1: yourself a bit more bitter. It stinks, I think a 99 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: little bit more, and I just don't think that's the 100 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: right attitude to have. So for me, I've moved cities recently. 101 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: It's meant that I've left a lot of my old 102 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 1: friends behind and it really sucks. It really sucks because 103 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: I'm an extrovert, I think, just in nature, and not 104 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: having those people to talk to all the time, to 105 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 1: fill my days with, to do fun things with, is 106 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: really difficult, and it leaves you feeling like you're alone 107 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: when that's possibly and most likely not the case. Loneliness 108 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: hurts us so much because the absence of social connection 109 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: it kind of triggers, doesn't kind of, It triggers the 110 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 1: same primal alarm bells as hunger, first physical pain. Being 111 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 1: surrounded by people, having a community, having social connections is 112 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: as vital to our well being as you know, having 113 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: a safe place to live, having food to eat, having 114 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: a sense of security. We really can't understate how important 115 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: it is to feel surrounded by those who you could 116 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: lean upon, or just people who you have fun with. 117 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: So this is what has what I think happens a 118 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: lot in our twenties. You kind of do uni or 119 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: you do your first job in a certain environment, and 120 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: normally it's quite close knit, and then you move, people move, 121 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: people change, people quit jobs, people get partners, people make 122 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: new friends, and sometimes there's a gap between when you 123 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: move on and others move on, or when you kind 124 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: of make that leap before everyone else has, or alongside 125 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: other people who you don't know about yet. And that's 126 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: kind of the thing I've been experiencing. I talk to 127 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: my friend Sydney about this all the time. If you're 128 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: listening Sydney, love you to bits. But she had this experience, 129 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: and I hope she doesn't mind me talking about it, 130 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: because it is quite comforting to think about how much 131 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: she's kind of grown and learned from the process when 132 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: I'm kind of in my feels about it. But she 133 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: moved to Melbourne last year. She moved away from camp 134 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: which was where I met her, and her whole community 135 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: was established here. She had had a partner here, she 136 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: had friends here, she had work and family here. And 137 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: she moved during lockdown, a terrible time, absolutely terrible time 138 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: to move to a new city, and it meant that 139 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 1: she was insidement that she didn't have the opportunity to 140 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: meet new people. And as that was happening, Canberra, where 141 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: she was originally from, wasn't in lockdown. Everyone was still 142 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: going out, everyone was doing fun things. And I think 143 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: I would be safe to assume that I would say that, 144 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: you know, she felt lonely. And we talked about this 145 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: a lot, because when I made the move to Sydney 146 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: this year, I called her about her and I was like, 147 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: I just find it it's really hard to make friends. 148 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,599 Speaker 1: It's really hard to meet people that you feel a 149 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 1: kinship with. And she was like, you just have to. 150 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 1: She almost gave me like almost like a doctor's orders. 151 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 1: She was like, you've just got to say yes to everything, 152 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: go out and do things alone. Just be your just 153 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: be your own self. If you want to go to 154 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: an event, go by yourself. You'll meet people. And I 155 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 1: was like, well, first off, that is incredibly courageous and 156 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: very brave. I don't know if I can do that, 157 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,719 Speaker 1: but I did it, and I've been trying to. I've 158 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 1: been really trying to do that, and she's absolutely right. 159 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: But that's like, it's not always as simple as that, 160 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: and it takes time, I think as well. And that 161 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: time in between when you really start putting yourself out 162 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: there and when you do make those new friendships and 163 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 1: those new connections is really isolating. I think that it's 164 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: very easy to get into this mindset of like there 165 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,959 Speaker 1: is an equation to fix loneliness. There's two issues with that. Firstly, 166 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: loneliness is like any other emotion that we feel. There 167 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: is this saying in psychology that if it didn't serve 168 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,559 Speaker 1: a value, if it didn't have a purpose, it wouldn't exist. 169 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 1: And loneliness, I think really fits that description. Because although 170 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: our first kind of inclination is to flee from loneliness, 171 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: to stay connected with people whose company we don't enjoy, 172 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 1: to stay in relationships with people who don't fulfill us, 173 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: to stay comfortable, loneliness serves a really great purpose because 174 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: it makes you want to reach out, it makes you 175 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 1: want to make new friends, and it's a really defining 176 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: emotion of growth, I think. I think also films and 177 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: movies profit off this idea of loneliness is kind of 178 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: like a disease. It's a disaster. It should be avoided 179 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: really well, really really well. And like I can think 180 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: of a couple like Bridget Jones is Diary. That movie 181 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: is terrible, terrible, but the main crux of her loneliness 182 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: she doesn't have a romantic partner. That's something I see 183 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: in media and like specifically like films and entertainment all 184 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: the time. This idea that if you haven't met the 185 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: love of your life, if you don't have like fifty 186 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: amazing friends who are going to go clubbing with you 187 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: and always answer your phone calls, like you should feel lonely. 188 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: You should feel bad about yourself, You should feel like 189 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: everyone else is having more fun than you, has better 190 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: friends than you, has more friends than you, and it's 191 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: not the case. The one part about that I find 192 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: the most issue with is this idea that if you 193 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: don't have a romantic, long term relationship, you should feel lonely. 194 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: And I really resent that because I don't think that 195 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: that's the case. And I also don't think that having 196 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: a partner or having someone you know romantically in your 197 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 1: life is really going to make you feel any better. 198 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 1: If anything, it's just going to make you more dependent 199 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: on them for a sense of support and a sense 200 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: of connection when you may have benefited more from building 201 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 1: on current connections or creating new community. It's really a 202 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: band aid fix, and it's set saying if like, you know, 203 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,559 Speaker 1: you can only love someone as much as you love yourself, 204 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: and it's you can only you know, there's only so 205 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: much that a partner can do for you in terms 206 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: of kind of reducing that of loneliness and that feeling 207 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: of not having someone. I think relationships are a quick fix, 208 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 1: quite honestly, there's such a quick fix, and it's so 209 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,199 Speaker 1: easy to be in a situation where you feel isolated 210 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 1: and you don't feel supported and kind of jump to 211 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: the first person who shows you affection or validation or attention. 212 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: I've been there, I've done that. I don't recommend because 213 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: the only thing it's going to do is draw you 214 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 1: away from the people who you already have, and it's 215 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,839 Speaker 1: going to make you more invested in that person, perhaps 216 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: in an unhealthy way, when it would probably have been 217 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: better for you to sit with that emotion, come to 218 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 1: terms with it, and to have built the community, to 219 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 1: have made new friends, to have put yourself out there 220 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: rather than kind of closed yourself off. This is not 221 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: to say that you can't be lonely and have a relationship, 222 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: or if you're lonely and the right person comes along, 223 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: like you should flee and you should absolutely say no 224 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: because you could become And that's not what I'm saying 225 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: at all. I just think sometimes relationships work best when 226 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: you are your best self, and if you feel like 227 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,719 Speaker 1: you're lacking something or missing something and that person is 228 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 1: going to feel it for you, it's not always going 229 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 1: to be the best long term solution. What if they're 230 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: not there, the fear of losing them will be stronger 231 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: because they're satisfying a need that until that point you 232 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: haven't been able to get elsewhere or at least for 233 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:34,560 Speaker 1: a while. I think it's quite dangerous, wouldn't probably recommend it, 234 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: But also I do understand this need to like latch 235 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 1: onto someone else. I think they're always going to be 236 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 1: periods of really hard loneliness in our twenties because of 237 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: just the universal nature, the universal kind of state of change, 238 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 1: and that there's fluctuations that all of us are kind 239 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: of pushed into as we try and establish our own lives. 240 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: Separate from our parents, separate from our family is, separate 241 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 1: from our universities, from our jobs. We try and branch out, 242 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: and there isn't always going to be a place for 243 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 1: you to slop right into, and sometimes it takes a 244 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 1: little bit of effort. The other thing that really contributes 245 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: to loneliness, I think in our twenties is that it's 246 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: so natural and it's just a god given truth that 247 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 1: you're going to lose people. You're going to lose friends, 248 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: lose touch with people, feel like, you know, a bit 249 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: of a diminishing in connection with people that you have 250 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: been friends with previously. I think in our twenties it's 251 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 1: it's kind of the chance, it's a beautiful decade to 252 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: get to try on different identities and to get to 253 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: try on, you know, different versions of ourselves who connect 254 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: with people for different reasons. But as you grow up 255 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 1: and as you figure out more of who you actually are, 256 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: there's people who you are previously friends with no longer 257 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: really fit that profile anymore. They no longer really fit 258 00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: into your identity. It's totally normal to lose friends. If 259 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 1: you're not losing friends, you're not growing as a person. 260 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: But it can sting. It can really hurt because you 261 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: loved them and they served a purpose in your life, 262 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 1: and also because they're just another form of social connection. 263 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: Even if you're feeling that relationship decaying or you know 264 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 1: you don't have as much to talk about anymore, you 265 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,119 Speaker 1: hang out with them and you don't always leave feeling amazing. 266 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: It's really hard to let go of those people because 267 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 1: you don't want to be alone. You don't want to 268 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: you don't want to get to the end of the 269 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: line and be like, oh, you know, I dumped all 270 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 1: these people, or like all these people kind of fizzled 271 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: out and now I have no one. But here's the thing, 272 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: there is no point staying in friendships or relationships that 273 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: no longer serve you. All it's going to do is 274 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: it's not weigh you down, because I don't think people 275 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 1: weigh you down, but take up space or out already 276 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: pretty busy lives that may have been better used by 277 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: someone else. It's not a crime, it's not a sin 278 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: to recognize that you and someone else are not the 279 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 1: same people anymore. You don't fit into each other's lives 280 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 1: as easily anymore, and to just allow both of you 281 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: to move on and to find people who do, to 282 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: give them the space to discover people who are better 283 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: suited to them, there's no point being bitter about it. 284 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: I think you know I've had this happen a lot 285 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 1: of times, and I'm sure you have as well, or 286 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: if you haven't, you will. Like no one is going 287 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: to grow and develop an exact parallel to you on 288 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: the same kind of wavelength and the same timeline, there 289 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: is going to be discrepancies between where someone else is 290 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: at and where you're at. And maybe they're just in 291 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 1: your life for a couple of months and they served 292 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: a really amazing purpose. Maybe they're there for a few years, 293 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 1: maybe they're like your lifelong best part, But you can't 294 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: keep every person you were friends within, you know, when 295 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: you were like eighteen at thirty, it's just not possible 296 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: because you need to be able to create new relationships 297 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 1: and there's only so much time you have in your day. 298 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: I think a really good indicator of when it is 299 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: time to maybe start not so much pulling away, but 300 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: start creating space for new people is when you feel 301 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 1: lonely when you're around someone else, when the connection is 302 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: now missing. And I had this with a friend, and 303 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,719 Speaker 1: I really love them dearly. For so long we were 304 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: such good buddies, but that we were really good friends 305 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,360 Speaker 1: for that part of our lives, and during that time 306 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: we were going through the same stuff, we were doing 307 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 1: the same things, we had the same schedule. And then 308 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,679 Speaker 1: when those things started to fall away, you realize that 309 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 1: it's not that you don't have anything in common, and 310 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: it's not that that's a bad thing. It's not that 311 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 1: they were a bad person. Our life just weren't in 312 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 1: line anymore. And it's okay to be like, that's well, 313 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 1: I'm just going to let you go and let you 314 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: have the best life you can have, even if I'm 315 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,359 Speaker 1: not in it. But there's still space there and I 316 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 1: think that's where that lonely feeling comes from, because they 317 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 1: still occupied your mind even if you weren't having like 318 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: the best time, you still enjoyed their company, Like you're 319 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: still friends with them for a reason. But it's it's 320 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: good not to hold on to that just because you're 321 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 1: afraid of being alone. It's like almost like I think 322 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 1: I had this for a while where I would hoard people. 323 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 1: I would like hoard them because almost like someone you 324 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:25,400 Speaker 1: know keeps keeps like inanimate objects or just like random objects, 325 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 1: arbitrary things, because they're always worried of like, oh what 326 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 1: if one day I might need this? And this is 327 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 1: like something with hoarding if you've ever watched like that 328 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 1: show about holders, where they're like, but what if one 329 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 1: day I really need this incredibly specific tak or like 330 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 1: this really specific piece of blue tak or this really 331 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 1: specific piece of kitchen ware, And I can't let that 332 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 1: go because then I'll be without and I won't be 333 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 1: prepared for whatever the situation deals me. The thing is 334 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: you will be, You absolutely will be. And it's the 335 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 1: same with friendships. Sometimes you keep people around because you're 336 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 1: worried about what it would mean if they weren't there, 337 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 1: and you're worried about what if one day I turn 338 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: around and I do really need them. And that's where 339 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 1: the fear of loneliness, I think, really starts to build 340 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: and bubble. I guess I've been rambling for a while. 341 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:21,200 Speaker 1: And if you found yourself on this episode, what did 342 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: you expect? No, just kidding. It's just one of those days, 343 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,879 Speaker 1: you know, just one of those feelings, and I think 344 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,920 Speaker 1: it's important to share it and to feel like other 345 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 1: people understand this, because I think that's what I would 346 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 1: like and what I look for. You know, I don't 347 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: know if you're like this, but or what I'm feeling, 348 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 1: like a specific emotion or a feeling. I always like 349 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: look up podcasts about that, like using keywords, because it's 350 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 1: always comforting to know that others are feeling that way 351 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 1: as well. The thing about losing people and about growing 352 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 1: and feeling lonely is that from pain and from hurt 353 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: comes like the most amazing renaissance of growth and of 354 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: just prosperity. And I really believe that. I think that 355 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: that is the sole purpose of really hard times in 356 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: our life, is it makes us stronger and it creates 357 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,439 Speaker 1: a bedrock of kind of inner strength and inner reliability 358 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 1: and perseverance and independence that is just invaluable later in 359 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: your life. That's invaluable at any point in your life. 360 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: And it really is kind of blessing to get to 361 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: go through periods of suffering knowing what comes out at 362 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 1: the other end, knowing that you know you've really been 363 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 1: forged in the fire. So from loneliness and pain, I 364 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 1: guess comes growth. That's what I'm trying to say, It comes, 365 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,679 Speaker 1: you know, from it. Also, there's an appreciation of the 366 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: people who are around you. I promise if you're feeling lonely, 367 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 1: you're not alone. And I know that sounds so cliche, 368 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,399 Speaker 1: but sometimes I just sit back and I just make 369 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,719 Speaker 1: a mental list of the people who I love and 370 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 1: who I could call and who would be there for me. 371 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: And it's always so much longer than I think it's 372 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,439 Speaker 1: going to be. I'm always like, I've really got like 373 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,959 Speaker 1: two friends, and then you're like, no, I don't like 374 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: these people. I like. I appreciate them so much. And 375 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: it's the quality of the friendships, not the quantity, that 376 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: matters so much more to me. Now that is just 377 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 1: so much more important, And maybe that's like, the solution 378 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:25,640 Speaker 1: is just having absolute and just insatiable gratitude for what 379 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: you do have in your life, for the people who 380 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: you do have, for the people who love you, for 381 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: those rare people who have grown in the exact same 382 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,960 Speaker 1: like incomplete unison with you as a person. It's just 383 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,159 Speaker 1: like wonderful And it's made so much more wonderful when 384 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: you don't have the fluff, when you don't have all 385 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 1: those extra items or extra people surrounding you or in 386 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,400 Speaker 1: your life. Who I mean, you can spend you can't 387 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: spend as much quality time with those people, Like it's 388 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: just like a moment of paying but also a moment 389 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 1: of gratitude to recognize that as well. And the other 390 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 1: thing that really kind of helps me is just knowing 391 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: that the only thing in life that's promised is change 392 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,360 Speaker 1: and is the movement of time. And even if you're 393 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: not feeling like amazing right now, isn't that just the 394 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,879 Speaker 1: best thing about time? It always moves forward, There's always 395 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: going to be changed, there's always going to be improvement 396 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: to your life, and even if things get bad, it 397 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 1: means that eventually they will get better. Things do not 398 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 1: stay terrible and awful for long, and I think about 399 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: that a lot. I think about it all the time, 400 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,199 Speaker 1: especially right now. And you know, I think about it 401 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 1: every time I say yes to something that I kind 402 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 1: of don't want to go to, Like this could be 403 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: the moment where like you meet like the new amazing 404 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,439 Speaker 1: person who just fulfills all your needs and who's just 405 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,720 Speaker 1: like incredible, and you know, a new best friend, or 406 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,119 Speaker 1: who just meet someone who have a great conversation with 407 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 1: and it makes you feel more connected and more understood. 408 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,879 Speaker 1: There's this TikTok that I like to watch sometimes and 409 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: it says you haven't yet met all the people in 410 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: your life who you will love. Isn't that just the 411 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: most beautiful thing ever? You haven't yet met all the 412 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: people in your life who you will love and who 413 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,400 Speaker 1: you will invest in and who will invest in you, 414 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: and you won't get to meet them if you spend 415 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 1: you know, time feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, there's space 416 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 1: for pity, there's space for sadness, this space for grief 417 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: and for pain. But at the end of the day, 418 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: you can't really be in that state for too long. 419 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: You can't stay there forever. It's not a home for you. 420 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 1: You've got to keep growing and keep pushing and know 421 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: that they are amazing people around the corner who will 422 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 1: welcome you and support you and understand you. And isn't 423 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 1: that just the most beautiful promise that the world gives us. 424 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to that. I'm just sitting at this lake. 425 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: I'm sitting in nature. I went for this beautiful walk 426 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,119 Speaker 1: today and it always makes me feel better moving my body, 427 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 1: getting out, getting outdoors. That's the beautiful thing about nature. 428 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: It doesn't care who you are, it doesn't care what 429 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: you're feeling. It's ruthless to everyone, regardless of your past, 430 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: of your future, of how you're feeling in the moment, 431 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 1: of those you've hurt, of those who've hurt you. It's 432 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 1: just like the great equalizer. I think so. Maybe that's 433 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: also a tip for dealing with loneliness. Get outside, say 434 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: yes to everything and get outside. There's my tip. One 435 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: of those is on behalf of Sydney Love you. Thanks 436 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 1: for contributing to this episode if she's listening. But if 437 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,640 Speaker 1: you're feeling this way, I want to send you love. 438 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 1: You're not the only one. I guess that's the thing. 439 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: You can feel less lonely. In the note in the 440 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: knowledge that you're not the only one feeling lonely. There's 441 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: a whole club of us, and it's just a moment. 442 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: It's just a feeling. It always gets better, it really does. 443 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: I remember feeling so keenly lonely at the start of 444 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,359 Speaker 1: my third year of UNI and saying my boyfriend at 445 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: the time, like, all I want is some new friends. 446 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,920 Speaker 1: I just need new friends. I'm so lonely, I feel 447 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 1: so alone. And yeah, I took a couple of months, 448 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: it took like half a year, but then all of 449 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 1: these are people started showing up, and you know who 450 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 1: those people are. Now those are some of my closest friends. 451 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to see one of them as we speak. 452 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: Right after I finished recording this, and I met her 453 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: because she asked for something that I put up on 454 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 1: Facebook marketplace, and we kind of knew each other, but 455 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,200 Speaker 1: not really, and I was like, I'll give it to 456 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 1: you for free, just take me out for brunch. And 457 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: we went out for brunch. And now she is one 458 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: of my closest friends and just most loyal companions and 459 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: strongest relationships I have, And I really hope it's like 460 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: that for the rest of our lives. So everything does 461 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: improve slowly, it might take time, but there are so 462 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,439 Speaker 1: many people out there, so many people out there who 463 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: are going to appreciate just everything about you, and even 464 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: the things you might not like about yourself they may love. 465 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,159 Speaker 1: And that's just such a good feeling to hold onto 466 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:55,239 Speaker 1: and to know that time moves on, things change and 467 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,199 Speaker 1: you won't feel like this forever anyhow. Kind of a 468 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: sad episode, honestly, but also which is what I kind 469 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 1: of like to bring to the podcast. I've talked about 470 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,959 Speaker 1: so many things like toxic relationships and unrequited love. This 471 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 1: is just the next one on the list. I feel like, 472 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 1: how could I not talk about loneliness at some point 473 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 1: on this podcast. But thank you for listening. Thank you 474 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 1: so much, and if you feel inclined, please feel free 475 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,800 Speaker 1: to leave a review of the podcast on Apple Podcasts 476 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: or Spotify, leave a five star rating, follow us on 477 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: Instagram as well. It really helps the podcast grow. It 478 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,920 Speaker 1: helps these kinds of I would say, intimate, vulnerable conversations 479 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: reach the ears of people who maybe need to hear it. 480 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: And if you've listened this far, maybeare share that on 481 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,120 Speaker 1: If you've gotten anything from it, share the word, Tell 482 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: your friends, and thank you again for listening. Love you guys, 483 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 1: lots have a beautiful week.