WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Salty Saltine (#8)

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<v Speaker 1>It's broken Jeffrey in the morning, and we are clinging.

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<v Speaker 1>In fact, we want to spend the entire holidays with you,

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<v Speaker 1>which is why we are counting down our top ten

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<v Speaker 1>second date updates.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my kids wanted to do like Christmas time. It

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<v Speaker 2>makes special memories and I'm like, no children.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, we want to spend it with our listeners instead.

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<v Speaker 2>There's terrible dating decisions to try to fix.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's where we're coming in top ten second date updates.

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<v Speaker 1>We're at number eight today called salty saltine.

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<v Speaker 2>As opposed to but.

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<v Speaker 1>Good point. They'll hear it your number eight Second Date Update,

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<v Speaker 1>Second Date Update d There's nothing wrong with bringing something

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<v Speaker 1>along with you for a first date, depending on who

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<v Speaker 1>you are. Could be like a small flask. Oh, could

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<v Speaker 1>be a taser.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you gotta be safe. I guess it.

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<v Speaker 1>Could be a blow up Yoda doll for after hours pleasure.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm taken also because anyone would leave you alone if

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<v Speaker 2>you brought that y or.

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<v Speaker 1>You could also bring along a real life human being,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's what one of our listeners, Chavon, did, She

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<v Speaker 1>brought a real person on her first date with her.

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<v Speaker 2>You make it sound like an accessory.

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<v Speaker 3>Jeffrey.

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<v Speaker 1>She's just wears it's possible. Chavon, What's up? Were they

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<v Speaker 1>out of inflatable Yoda's that day or what was the

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<v Speaker 1>thinking there?

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<v Speaker 4>Honestly, I hadn't even thought about going that route. And

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<v Speaker 4>I know it's weird, but I'm just getting into online

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<v Speaker 4>dating and I'm just like trying to be super careful.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, so make a note of inflatable Yoda's. So

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<v Speaker 2>what you just did? I see?

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<v Speaker 3>Who did you bring go? Is it a friend a stranger?

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<v Speaker 4>It's one of my good friends. In hindsight, maybe she

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<v Speaker 4>wasn't like the best choice.

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<v Speaker 2>Would definitely gone with a bodyguard instead.

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<v Speaker 1>So before we get to the friend, can you tell

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<v Speaker 1>us about the guy that you went out with? What's

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<v Speaker 1>his deal?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah? He was super cool, like not somebody I would

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<v Speaker 4>normally go after. His name is Joel.

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<v Speaker 2>Does that mean what was different about him?

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<v Speaker 4>Because he's a bald guy and that's but I actually

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<v Speaker 4>told him that and oh no.

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<v Speaker 1>What you told him online that you're not into bald dudes?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, that I'm usually not.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm just trying to be like, honest, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what.

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<v Speaker 4>He liked it.

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<v Speaker 1>Obviously, sometimes I swipe right on people just to tell them, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not my tight.

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<v Speaker 4>Weird.

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<v Speaker 2>What was his response when you said that to him?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, that's what was so great is he was like,

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<v Speaker 6>I make up for it in other areas. He said,

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<v Speaker 6>my arm hit hair is three times longer.

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<v Speaker 3>That's good.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, is that a joker?

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<v Speaker 3>He's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny to some people.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess, like instant rejected.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, he made me laugh and I figured that

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<v Speaker 4>I would give it a try, so I said yes

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<v Speaker 4>when he invited me to go get dinner with him. Okay,

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<v Speaker 4>I was nervous though. That's the thing when you're new

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<v Speaker 4>to this, like meeting someone, and I mean there's all

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<v Speaker 4>kinds of like scary stories.

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<v Speaker 3>And as a guy, creepy.

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<v Speaker 2>Guy like share a location, I don't like bring a

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<v Speaker 2>friend to the location and a text. Well, and how

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<v Speaker 2>didn't you chatted with this guy for long enough to

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<v Speaker 2>feel somewhat safe?

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<v Speaker 4>I know, but you just hear about like people getting catfished,

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<v Speaker 4>and I was like, I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Know, dude, he's bald, He's not going to catfish.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe his under arm was a catfish situation. He said,

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<v Speaker 1>But how did it go when you met up with him?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, I mean that's the thing. Like, okay, so I

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<v Speaker 4>brought my friend like just this security measure, and I

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<v Speaker 4>did not tell him about it beforehand.

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<v Speaker 2>Why would you not tell him?

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<v Speaker 1>What was his reaction?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, okay, so I showed up early and I was

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<v Speaker 6>like talking with her at the bar, but I.

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<v Speaker 4>Didn't see that he was already there. So he came

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<v Speaker 4>over and he said hi, and I introduced him to

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<v Speaker 4>my friend, Saltine.

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<v Speaker 2>Saltine. Did you say Saltine like the Cracker?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's her real name or is that a nickname?

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<v Speaker 4>That's her real name?

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<v Speaker 3>It could if you see an extra woman there, I

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<v Speaker 3>would have been like, oh is this some other situations?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was curious, like is Saltine hot? Is it

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<v Speaker 1>possible that she distracted?

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<v Speaker 3>She's very white?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean she's really cute. And Joel was really

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<v Speaker 4>polite about it. I think he was definitely surprised, but

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<v Speaker 4>he was just kind of going along with it.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, so you and Joel and Saltine all sat

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<v Speaker 1>down together for dinner.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, we had a drink at the bar, and then

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<v Speaker 4>the host came to tell us that our table was ready, and.

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<v Speaker 6>He asked if we could get another chair.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but I had said no, like I wanted to

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<v Speaker 4>eat with him alone, and Sultine could just at the bar.

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<v Speaker 2>She's gonna sit alone? Why would she just go home?

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<v Speaker 3>At that point, he's still hovering Brookes.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean she's like really outgoing, you know. I mean

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<v Speaker 4>she makes friends.

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<v Speaker 6>Like everywhere we go.

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<v Speaker 4>She's like very talkative. And I don't know she was

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<v Speaker 4>already there.

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<v Speaker 7>Great.

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<v Speaker 3>I think most people will be like, sure, I'll just

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<v Speaker 3>stay here, have another drink, have some food.

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<v Speaker 1>She'll keep an eye on you from a distance and

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<v Speaker 1>have a good time. How was the one on one

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<v Speaker 1>time with Joel?

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<v Speaker 4>So it was really nice? But she came over to

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<v Speaker 4>like check on us, which was not part of the

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<v Speaker 4>deal at all.

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<v Speaker 2>I did not know, So why was that so bad?

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<v Speaker 8>Though?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, like everybody already.

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<v Speaker 1>Knows he checked on the brook. She's probably lonely though,

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<v Speaker 1>sitting over there.

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<v Speaker 3>At that point?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that when Joel's like mood changed.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean she like went back to the bar, but

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<v Speaker 4>then she was testing me, like, hey, we need to

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<v Speaker 4>leave now. And he handled it well. But then after

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<v Speaker 4>the date, I sent him a message and I told

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<v Speaker 4>him that I wanted to hang out again and I.

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<v Speaker 7>Got no reply.

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<v Speaker 6>I feel like I came across as such a weirdo.

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<v Speaker 4>You know you did well?

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<v Speaker 2>You brought Saltine with your friend.

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<v Speaker 7>Reason.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so I don't know what the reason is exactly,

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<v Speaker 4>but like it's been a little while now.

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<v Speaker 6>And I've jumped back into dating pool and I've gone

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<v Speaker 6>out with different guys, but no one is as cool

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<v Speaker 6>as he was, and I really like.

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<v Speaker 3>Him crawling back to the ball.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, so you couldn't find a better option. We're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna call him.

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<v Speaker 1>That's as good as we can do.

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<v Speaker 7>Now.

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<v Speaker 3>We can have Saltine on a third line.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think so, we're gonna play a song.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll come back. We'll call Joel and try to get

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<v Speaker 1>your second date update, and then tomorrow we'll do an

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<v Speaker 1>awkward Tuesday phone call with Saltine.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh okay, I'm into it.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just kidding. Let's do the second update, next second

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<v Speaker 1>date update. Some strange names that we've heard on this

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<v Speaker 1>show before include Latig Gray, who you might remember had

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<v Speaker 1>more than sixteen tiger tattoos on his body. It was

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<v Speaker 1>a huge tiger.

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<v Speaker 2>Enthusiast, which game first the name.

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<v Speaker 1>We also had a young lady named Elizabeth or not

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<v Speaker 1>Elizabeth Elizabeth thur with an er at the end.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a difficult one.

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<v Speaker 1>It was interesting for when Brooke was trying to make

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<v Speaker 1>a point saying now Elizabeth.

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<v Speaker 2>Orth Or, I stuttered at the end.

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<v Speaker 1>And now we have a new person on the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>They're actually not on with us here, but she's a

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<v Speaker 1>large part of the story. Her name is Saltine. Saltine

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<v Speaker 1>tagged along on the date with our listener Chavn, who

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<v Speaker 1>was nervous about going on an online date for the

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<v Speaker 1>very first time, and so while she was over at

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<v Speaker 1>dinner with her date Joel, Saltine sat over it by

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<v Speaker 1>the bar, just spying on them the entire time until

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<v Speaker 1>she had an enough and actually marched up to the

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<v Speaker 1>table and embarrassed Chavn. So now it's been almost a

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<v Speaker 1>month and Chavon's hoping to get back again with Joel. Chavan,

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<v Speaker 1>do you have any last words before we reach out

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<v Speaker 1>to him.

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<v Speaker 8>I know I messed up when I took Saltine, but

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<v Speaker 8>I really like this guy, like he is like the

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<v Speaker 8>best thing, especially to what I've been going out with since.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's awesome, Okay, okay, And.

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<v Speaker 1>It was all Saltine's fault. We'll just blame it on her.

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<v Speaker 3>That's true. If you can blame it on her, and

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<v Speaker 3>then you just say you're so awesome, I regret everything

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<v Speaker 3>I think is an easy piece.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe there's a whole different reason though. Let's just call

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<v Speaker 1>Joel and see what he has to say.

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<v Speaker 7>You ready, Oh, oh my god?

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<v Speaker 1>All right, deep breath, here we go.

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<v Speaker 7>Hello is this Joel? Uh yeah, hey Joel.

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<v Speaker 1>My name is jeff from a morning rate show that

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<v Speaker 1>you may have heard of called Brook and Jeffrey in

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<v Speaker 1>the Morning.

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<v Speaker 7>Uh, yeah, I think I've heard of you, guys.

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<v Speaker 8>Cool.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for the good review.

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<v Speaker 1>We've heard it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>The funny thing is we heard of you too.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, good things too about you, Joel.

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<v Speaker 1>We heard it from somebody that you went out on

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<v Speaker 1>a date with a little while ago named chavn.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh oh you do remember, because she said like thirty days,

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<v Speaker 2>like a month ago, that you guys went out.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah it's sun.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, getting hints from the tone of your voice

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<v Speaker 1>that it wasn't the best date for you, but we

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<v Speaker 1>kind of knew that.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, uh no, it was not.

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<v Speaker 2>Was it funny?

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<v Speaker 4>You laughed?

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<v Speaker 7>It's just uh so we went out to dinner like

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<v Speaker 7>a month ago, and when I went out with her,

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<v Speaker 7>she ended up bringing her friend.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah on the date, you remember her friends name.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, Saltine. Yeah. I thought it was crazy because when

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<v Speaker 7>we matched online, I thought her name was beautiful. I

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<v Speaker 7>love the name Chavon. And then on the date she

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<v Speaker 7>brings this friend named Saltine, and I'm just like, this

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<v Speaker 7>is the most absurd thing I've ever heard of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Chavan said that you seem to be really cool with it.

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<v Speaker 1>You're able to basically roll with the evening, which is awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>How did it go?

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<v Speaker 7>I didn't want to be a about it. It was weird

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<v Speaker 7>having another person there, but so I suggested it was

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<v Speaker 7>get a table for three, and Chavan just said she's

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<v Speaker 7>gonna sit at the bar and watch us. Immediately red

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<v Speaker 7>flag somebody who's gonna watch us.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, you're lifestyle chaperone, because I mean, I I do

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy watching sometimes.

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<v Speaker 7>I'm just not into that voyeuristic lifestyle.

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<v Speaker 1>Chavan told us, Just wait, you're not. But Chavan told

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<v Speaker 1>us that Saltine is kind of a like a fun type,

0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.320
<v Speaker 1>like a outgoing social girl.

0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:12.319
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, yeah, she she seemed pretty cool. Again, like I

0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:16.720
<v Speaker 7>thought we would sit together, but yeah, yeah, sitting alone.

0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:20.400
<v Speaker 7>Only laughed about twenty minutes because then Saltine is like

0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:26.000
<v Speaker 7>stumbling over to the table somebing, but she's drunk, clearly drunk.

0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.360
<v Speaker 2>What is she supposed to do twenty minutes an.

0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.840
<v Speaker 7>Then she starts coming at me saying how I'm the

0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.199
<v Speaker 7>unlucky one that I didn't match with her, that he's

0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:45.840
<v Speaker 7>the fun one, that Ron is boring there She's totally like, no,

0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:48.680
<v Speaker 7>Chavon had gone up to go to the bathroom.

0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:55.559
<v Speaker 1>That's even, so you're with Saltine now she's the fun one.

0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.800
<v Speaker 7>No, I'm not with Saltine. I'm not with any of them.

0:11:58.120 --> 0:11:59.640
<v Speaker 3>Oh and that sex.

0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:02.920
<v Speaker 2>She thinks she's bringing her most trusted friend with her

0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.240
<v Speaker 2>to help her out, and she's like to trying to

0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:06.560
<v Speaker 2>steal her may look.

0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:10.240
<v Speaker 7>Ten minutes later, Saltine is getting like carted out of

0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:13.800
<v Speaker 7>the bar. She was getting sticked out but off and

0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.160
<v Speaker 7>Chevan takes care of her. She orders her an uber

0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 7>to get her home. So we just decided to call

0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:23.440
<v Speaker 7>it early and I drove her home. And I don't

0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:27.560
<v Speaker 7>like to judge people off their friends, but like, yeah,

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:30.960
<v Speaker 7>this was the pretty big red flag.

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.560
<v Speaker 2>That's the worry that's gonna be hard for her to hear.

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:39.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, actually she's already kind of heard that, Joel, because

0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.960
<v Speaker 1>I didn't let you know this before. But Chavon has

0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.960
<v Speaker 1>actually been on the other line listening this entire time. Wow,

0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.360
<v Speaker 1>just spying in on the conversation like Saltine did. And

0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.480
<v Speaker 1>now she wants to jump in and talk to you.

0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:55.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Hi, did you know that, Cheffon?

0:12:56.520 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 5>No, No, I had no idea. I had no idea.

0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.240
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, you know what, I don't have any idea about

0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.520
<v Speaker 7>how did she get my number? What?

0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:07.360
<v Speaker 1>Who got your number?

0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:08.560
<v Speaker 7>Saltine?

0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:10.480
<v Speaker 1>What what do you mean?

0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:15.120
<v Speaker 7>She's texting me apologizing about that night, saying how sorry

0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:17.440
<v Speaker 7>she was, like begging me to go back out with

0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.320
<v Speaker 7>you so much that she offered me money.

0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:28.560
<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, she wants to say you, pamp.

0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:29.560
<v Speaker 2>Is that what's going on?

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:30.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god?

0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:32.520
<v Speaker 1>She sounds like she's a stable person.

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:36.040
<v Speaker 5>I don't even really know what to say. I mean,

0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:40.439
<v Speaker 5>I'm imagining that she probably got your number through my phone.

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:44.120
<v Speaker 5>I obviously didn't give it to her, and like, this

0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.080
<v Speaker 5>is not a representation of how I am as a

0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:50.720
<v Speaker 5>person at all. Like, I had no idea that she

0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.319
<v Speaker 5>would backst at me like this.

0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:57.080
<v Speaker 2>And talking to her about her when she was in

0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:58.960
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom. That was totally backs down.

0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.000
<v Speaker 1>What about the art where she tried to fix the relationship,

0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.439
<v Speaker 1>it was like, you should go out here.

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.320
<v Speaker 5>It's not okay that she did that. She should have

0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:09.960
<v Speaker 5>stayed out of it, Like she made enough of a mess.

0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:12.760
<v Speaker 5>She came over to the table, like maybe I would

0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.280
<v Speaker 5>have had a chance had she not been such a creep,

0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:18.400
<v Speaker 5>and then sling your number out of my phone trying

0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.520
<v Speaker 5>to pay you to go out with me, Like that's

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:21.440
<v Speaker 5>so messed up.

0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:26.480
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, you know that she asked me out No wait.

0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.600
<v Speaker 2>Via text or when when she was drunk at.

0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:33.040
<v Speaker 7>The bar she texted me like last week asking if

0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:35.760
<v Speaker 7>i'd be her date to some like dental hygienis ball.

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:36.280
<v Speaker 4>Oh.

0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.560
<v Speaker 5>I mean she's wild and crazy and like I've seen

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.360
<v Speaker 5>her do some shady stuff, but like, I never thought

0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:47.920
<v Speaker 5>she would do something like this to me.

0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:51.640
<v Speaker 2>And I bet you've been talking to her about how

0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.160
<v Speaker 2>much you've been thinking about Joel and about how you

0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:59.040
<v Speaker 2>wish you could go out with him again. Like that

0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:06.120
<v Speaker 2>is hard to okay, let's just see.

0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think to me it sounds like Chevn is

0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:14.040
<v Speaker 1>on the brink of cutting Saltine out of her life permanently.

0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Which may not be sad.

0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:21.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so with Oh my god, I don't know if

0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:24.880
<v Speaker 1>that's true, Savon, but if it is, Joel, now that

0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.880
<v Speaker 1>Saltine is out of the picture, would you be willing

0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:31.360
<v Speaker 1>to go out with Chevn just by herself? She's the

0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:32.360
<v Speaker 1>stable one.

0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:33.000
<v Speaker 3>The boring one.

0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, have a nice right now, sorry, a boring gluten

0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:41.040
<v Speaker 1>free date with and we'll pay for it.

0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:44.680
<v Speaker 7>You know, they're best friends. It's hard to just like

0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:48.440
<v Speaker 7>best friends best friends, not.

0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:51.600
<v Speaker 5>My best friend. Like, I know, I know I messed up.

0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 5>I know that it was super weird and creepy what

0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.320
<v Speaker 5>I did. I was nervous because it was my first

0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:59.160
<v Speaker 5>time online dating. But I really like you, and I

0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.800
<v Speaker 5>would just appreciate just one more chance. Please. I swear

0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.680
<v Speaker 5>to Godine's not going to be there, She's not going

0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:08.760
<v Speaker 5>to be anywhere near me ever. Again, honestly, I'm not

0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:11.880
<v Speaker 5>crazy like her, and I was just really like, I

0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.120
<v Speaker 5>just lost my best friend. Like, please, let this be

0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.600
<v Speaker 5>some sort of like consolation.

0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Rise, Joel. Really, Saltine will not be anywhere on your date,

0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:24.920
<v Speaker 1>but she will still be tracking your phone. So just

0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:27.680
<v Speaker 1>keep that in mind. But I say, give Chavn one

0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 1>more chance.

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.280
<v Speaker 2>You got to say yes to that, Joel.

0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:49.560
<v Speaker 5>Oh, yeah, brooking Jeffrey in the Morning, Brook and Jeffrey

0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:50.840
<v Speaker 5>in the Morning.