Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tips for those times when you know you'd have
Speaker 1: wise counsel for a friend in your situation, and you
Speaker 1: could use some wise counsel yourself, use the third person.
Speaker 1: Try thinking about your own situation as you would think
Speaker 1: about a friend in a similar situation, with the wisdom
Speaker 1: and calm that come with distance. This tip comes from
Speaker 1: psychologist Ethan Cross and his colleagues. They found that language,
Speaker 1: especially the pronouns we use to refer to ourselves, can
Speaker 1: create self distancing. With greater distance, we are less reactive
Speaker 1: and we're wiser in navigating challenging situations. So how can
Speaker 1: you use pronouns to create distance When you're in difficult
Speaker 1: circ stances, are facing a tough decision, Think through your
Speaker 1: situation using third person pronouns he or she or your name.
Speaker 1: This lets you tap into the wisdom that an outside
Speaker 1: perspective offers, so you can see your own situation with clarity.
Speaker 1: It could sound something like this, Laura's on a deadline
Speaker 1: and her internet just went out. What are her options now? Yes,
Speaker 1: it feels a little awkward to talk about myself using
Speaker 1: the third person, but doing so slows things down, calms
Speaker 1: me down, and prompts me to think through my situation
Speaker 1: systematically rather than with a flustered perspective. That's worth a
Speaker 1: little awkwardness. Here are some more examples of what it
Speaker 1: could look like to think about your own situation using
Speaker 1: third person pronouns. Mark just overheard his boss mentioned layoffs,
Speaker 1: and he has a meeting scheduled with his boss tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Does that mean his job is at risk? Or Casey
Speaker 1: canceled plans with Anne again? Does she not want to
Speaker 1: be friends any more? Second person pronouns that means you
Speaker 1: can work too. Consider this script. Take a deep breath.
Speaker 1: You've got this. You've practiced this presentation eight times, and
Speaker 1: your colleagues like you. They want to see you succeed.
Speaker 1: You will get through this presentation just fine, or ask
Speaker 1: for a raise with the words you rehearsed, and then
Speaker 1: keep your mouth shut with a soft smile. Give your
Speaker 1: boss time to respond. You know she values your work,
Speaker 1: so give her a chance to agree to what you proposed.
Speaker 1: When you use second or third person pronouns to place
Speaker 1: yourself on the outside of a situation, you can reason
Speaker 1: with the view of a wise observer. You're less likely
Speaker 1: to jump to conclusions or feel overwhelmed by emotions, and
Speaker 1: more likely to see viable courses of action. By changing
Speaker 1: your language, you can change your perspective and sometimes that's
Speaker 1: all it takes. In the mean time, this is Laura.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast pod that's b the number four, then Breakfast
Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email
Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com
Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For
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Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows. Yeah yeah, idea