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Speaker 1: What's up its way up at Angela.

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Speaker 2: Ye, and y'all know by now my girl coach Jesse

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Speaker 2: is here with me the detox now, yes, ma'am, all right,

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Speaker 2: and you brought a friend with you, which I'm excited about.

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Speaker 3: So April is Stress Awareness Month, and you know, one

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Speaker 3: of the things, as black women, we are always under

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Speaker 3: so much pressure trying to hold it down between work

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Speaker 3: and family, and a lot of times we don't realize

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Speaker 3: that we may be dealing with something that's not just

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Speaker 3: chronic stress, but it actually may be something that's deeper.

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Speaker 3: And what when I met you know, doctor Joseph, and

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Speaker 3: I learned about the work she's doing. I learned that,

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Speaker 3: you know what, there's something that we can be dealing

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Speaker 3: with that's beyond just kind of like being busy. There's

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Speaker 3: the pressure of like we're getting everything done, we are

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Speaker 3: the go to person. But still inside even though we

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Speaker 3: look like high achievers, hi, we're actually looking like we're functioning.

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Speaker 1: Also like it's normal and achieving. All these things say

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Speaker 1: it's busy, right to be exhausted.

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Speaker 3: Inside you're exhausted, but not just exhausted, you're joyless. You're

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Speaker 3: numb and anxious, and that is where we need to

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Speaker 3: look at are we actually dealing with high functioning depression.

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Speaker 3: So you know, doctor Judith is a researcher, a.

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Speaker 4: Psychiatrist, and an author.

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Speaker 3: Obviously her book is just releasing yay this week.

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Speaker 5: Yay, So congratulations, thank you.

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Speaker 3: And I was so excited to have her join us

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Speaker 3: to have this conversation because she's not just someone who

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Speaker 3: researched it, but she lived it.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 4: Love for you to just share with us your.

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Speaker 6: Story, Yeah, thank you, Jesse. Coach Jesse, because what happens

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Speaker 6: is that people are comfortable saying I'm burnt out, you know,

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Speaker 6: I'm exhausted, but if you say I'm depressed, it's like crickets.

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Speaker 6: It makes people feel awkward. But the reality is that

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Speaker 6: many of us are actually walking around with high functioning depression,

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Speaker 6: wearing this mask of pathological productivity, being busy, being in

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Speaker 6: the rock, doing all these things. But we're struggling inside

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Speaker 6: with symptoms of depression and we're calling it something different.

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Speaker 6: So that's why the things that we think will help

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Speaker 6: us feel better don't and we're not getting better. So

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Speaker 6: we have to name it and identify it so then

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Speaker 6: we use tools that actually treat it.

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Speaker 2: And this was something you identified within yourself tales yes,

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Speaker 2: and which is not an easy thing for us to

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Speaker 2: actually say to ourselves because as somebody who from childhood,

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Speaker 2: you've been such a high achiever with so many accomplishments.

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Speaker 2: But I saw also, I've seen you post the pictures

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Speaker 2: of yourself throughout the years and the things that we

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Speaker 2: see as accomplishments, but also the underlying issues that you

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Speaker 2: were having within yourself that you didn't even know.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't even know. And I'm a board sort

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Speaker 6: of for a psychiatrist and researcher, and it snuck up

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Speaker 6: on me. Like I remember sitting at a desk teaching

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Speaker 6: this large hospital system in twenty twenty how to get

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Speaker 6: through uncertainty. They were like asking questions. It's like, yeah,

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Speaker 6: just like what's going to happen?

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Speaker 5: What do I do?

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Speaker 6: And halfway through that talk, I was like, wait a second,

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Speaker 6: I think I'm depressed. It like hit me and I

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Speaker 6: was like, and I have no joy. And that's something

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Speaker 6: called anne hedonia. It's a research term that a lot

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Speaker 6: of people have never heard of. But I'm trying to

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Speaker 6: change that. So, like you're doing so much, you are

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Speaker 6: the human doing You're not a human being, right, you're

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Speaker 6: showing up for others. You're so busy, and if you

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Speaker 6: sit still you feel restless. You know, if you're not working,

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Speaker 6: you feel empty. And when I started talking about this

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Speaker 6: to people, they're like, that's what it is. They just

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Speaker 6: didn't have a name for it. So it's important because

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Speaker 6: this can be an indicator that something is going on

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Speaker 6: that you need help. But if you go to your

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Speaker 6: doctor and you're like checking all these symptoms of depression,

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Speaker 6: but the last checkbox is empty because you are still functioning.

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Speaker 6: You're actually overfunctioning, they'll say, come back when you break down,

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Speaker 6: because we can't really do anything for you right now.

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Speaker 6: I'm trying to change that.

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Speaker 3: So they're sending you away like everything's okay. But the

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Speaker 3: truth is you are depressed.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you have these symptoms, but in order to meet

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Speaker 6: criteria for depression, you have to check that final box

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Speaker 6: of you're no longer functioning or you're in distress. Well,

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Speaker 6: what about people who have to keep going and what

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Speaker 6: about people who don't have the word to describe what

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Speaker 6: they're going through. They're not being addressed because we're waiting

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Speaker 6: for you to break down, which is it sounds like counterintuitive,

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Speaker 6: like why would you wait for someone to break down?

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Speaker 6: But that's just the way the system is. But we're

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Speaker 6: seeing that there's a change with like cancer, Like people

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Speaker 6: aren't saying wait till you get to stage three cancers. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: they're saying, let's prevent the cancer. You know, we're seeing

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Speaker 6: it with heart disease. Let's not wait for the heart attack,

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Speaker 6: let's prevent it. Or even with a stocker.

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Speaker 2: Every can you can do anything until something happens, even

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Speaker 2: if you're really won't.

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Speaker 3: So what's the actual if? For Layman's terms, how would

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Speaker 3: you define high functional depression?

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Speaker 6: So you have these symptoms of depression, you can go

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Speaker 6: onto my website and you can take the test. There's

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Speaker 6: a high functioning test. It's free, and you go through

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Speaker 6: the symptoms of pression and you see if you have them.

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Speaker 6: And the hallmark is that a lot of us are overfunctioning.

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Speaker 6: So no matter what we do. One of the questions

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Speaker 6: on there is no matter what we do, we never

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Speaker 6: feel like it's enough.

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Speaker 5: You keep going and.

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Speaker 2: How many But that's so normalized at because it makes

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Speaker 2: you feel like if you don't feel that way, you're

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Speaker 2: not doing enough in a way. But then it's also

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Speaker 2: the absence, like you said, of joy and herdonia, because

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Speaker 2: you always keep pushing the bar like, Okay, I'll be happy.

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Speaker 1: When this happens. I do that all the time.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel better when this happens or I

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Speaker 2: finally have a chance, But then there's always something else

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Speaker 2: after that that you're delaying it until you're delaying your

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Speaker 2: happiness until you reach something, but then there's always something

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Speaker 2: moving carrot right.

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Speaker 6: I'm glad you brought that up, because that's exactly what

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Speaker 6: people say when they come to my office. They're like, doctor,

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Speaker 6: I just want to be happy. And when I ask them,

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Speaker 6: like what is happiness, they're like, oh, it's when I

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Speaker 6: get that job, or when I finally get a house,

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Speaker 6: when I pay off my debt. It's always this idea.

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Speaker 6: But in my research lab it's the opposite. When we

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Speaker 6: measure happiness, we're adding up points of joy. So the

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Speaker 6: questions we ask like the questions you'll see on my website,

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Speaker 6: like when you ate your food, did it taste good?

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Speaker 6: When you took a nap, did you feel rested?

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Speaker 4: Can you find joy in a moment these moments?

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Speaker 6: And that's how we measure it. In science, we add

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Speaker 6: up the points and then overall that's what makes us

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Speaker 6: measure whether or not there's happiness. But in the real

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Speaker 6: world we're like, well, i'll be happy one. So it's

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Speaker 6: an idea versus joy as an experience, and we're missing

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Speaker 6: out on joy.

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Speaker 5: We're leaving our points on the table.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you.

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Speaker 2: Also in the book, you discuss how in order for

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Speaker 2: you to become a psychiatrist, you also had to see

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Speaker 2: one yes, right, and that wasn't easy for you. And

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Speaker 2: I think that's so interesting, right because I do feel

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Speaker 2: like right now, more than ever, people have been talking

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Speaker 2: about going to therapy and trying to make that feel

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Speaker 2: I've seen people say if he's not seeing a therapist,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to date why people are really saying that.

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Speaker 2: And so, what was a breakthrough moment for you? Because

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Speaker 2: I know people who are listening they need to know

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Speaker 2: that these are steps you had to go through. But

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Speaker 2: also do you feel this pressure to be perfect because

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Speaker 2: of who you are and what you do?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, I wasn't always going to be a psychiatrist.

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Speaker 6: I'm from a very traditional Caribbean home Christian home, and

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Speaker 6: when I went to medical school, I was the first

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Speaker 6: doctor in my family. So when I told my parents

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Speaker 6: I wanted to be an anti sosiologist, they were like, great,

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Speaker 6: and I'll just make a lot of money, you know,

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Speaker 6: like that's a real doctor, a doctor.

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Speaker 3: But I was.

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Speaker 6: I was miserable in that field and I was actually

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Speaker 6: going through a depression when I was in that field.

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Speaker 6: And so when I actually said I want to get

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Speaker 6: out of that, and my friend was a psychiatrist in

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Speaker 6: training at the time, she was like, this is great.

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Speaker 6: And I had done this rotation in South Africa where

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Speaker 6: I was helping little kids through their trauma and I

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Speaker 6: love that in medical school, so I was like, I

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Speaker 6: want to see if I could do that because that

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Speaker 6: was very fulfilling. A switched to psychiatry and they were saying,

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Speaker 6: you know, all the residents and training get free like

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Speaker 6: low cost to free therapy, so it's really cheap to

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Speaker 6: see some of the most expensive psychiatrists in the city.

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Speaker 6: So I just remember going to this very fancy office

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Speaker 6: on the Upper East Side and I was like, what

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Speaker 6: does this man know about me? Like, I'm from the Caribbean,

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Speaker 6: I didn't have money growing up. He didn't know me,

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Speaker 6: and there are all of his patients around him were

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Speaker 6: all rich and like very well dressed and stuff. But yeah,

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Speaker 6: like I didn't think I had mental health issues. I

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Speaker 6: was like, I'm just gonna do it because everyone else is,

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Speaker 6: but I'm not. I don't have any problems. And boy

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Speaker 6: was I wrong. Boy, there was so much trauma that

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Speaker 6: was unpacked, like growing up with very little. I had

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Speaker 6: no idea that the reason I pushed myself to, you know,

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Speaker 6: get good grades and like constantly working overfunctioning was because

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Speaker 6: I never wanted to be in a position of lacking again.

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Speaker 6: So that scarcity trauma was something that pushed me to

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Speaker 6: be high functioning. And I talk about that in the

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Speaker 6: book as well.

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Speaker 3: I love that you brought up trauma because you know

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Speaker 3: that does you talked about it plays a major role.

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Speaker 3: How much of a role does process trauma, you know,

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Speaker 3: play in high function depression.

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Speaker 6: Well, I know you're an expert in that mind body connection, right,

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Speaker 6: that fight or flight. That's the busyness, right, some of

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Speaker 6: us we can't sit still. And it's different from burnout

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Speaker 6: because with burnout, you know, it's the work plash, Well,

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Speaker 6: it's the workplace that's causing it. By definition, burnout is

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Speaker 6: an occupational hazard. But for us high functioning, functioning people,

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Speaker 6: when you leave the workplace, we're not just working. We're like,

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Speaker 6: we're helping somebody else with their problems. We're helping our

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Speaker 6: kids doing a project. I got a bazillion projects going

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Speaker 6: on because we can't sit still. And I don't think

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Speaker 6: people realize that's related to unprocessed trauma.

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Speaker 3: We're constantly driving it about when you look at the trauma,

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Speaker 3: what is actually driving the way that you're not stopping.

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Speaker 5: That's the piece it is. It's the avoidance. That's how

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Speaker 5: we avoid.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting because even now I feel like that's definitely me.

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Speaker 2: People tell me all the time, you can't say still

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Speaker 2: just do like, but I made a commitment to myself,

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Speaker 2: like I have a lot of things that were in

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Speaker 2: the practice of getting done, and I was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: as in the second half of this year, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to just take it easy. I'm not trying to like

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Speaker 2: put more on my plate until I can handle what

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Speaker 2: I have on my plate now, just because I feel

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Speaker 2: like I just give myself so much to.

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Speaker 1: Do that I'm like, yeah, why do I that self?

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Speaker 4: Love?

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Speaker 2: But you know, I might be pushing the bar and

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Speaker 2: then because I'm like, you know, you never know, like

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Speaker 2: things happen, but I really have made that commitment because

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Speaker 2: the other thing that's hard, like you said, is you

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Speaker 2: want to show up for everybody, and it's hard to

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Speaker 2: say no sometimes, but you need to, well.

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Speaker 6: Angela, one of the symptoms of trauma, unprocessed trauma is

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Speaker 6: internalizing blame and guilt. So us high functioning folks like

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Speaker 6: if we don't show up for others, we feel guilty.

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Speaker 6: We're like or we call ourselves lazy. You know, it's ridiculous.

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Speaker 6: We're doing so much, but we internalize it.

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Speaker 4: It's the message we're getting, we're saying to ourselves.

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Speaker 1: It is it's how.

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Speaker 6: We tie our worth to our role. But we were

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Speaker 6: someone before our role. We just have to work ourselves back.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: I wonder if we could touch a little bit on how,

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Speaker 3: you know, Infertility Awareness Week is coming up and how

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Speaker 3: women who actually are dealing with infertility and I'm wearing

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Speaker 3: orange in honor of you all because I was one

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Speaker 3: dealt with it for ten years and that is a

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Speaker 3: traumatic thing, right and can push you into high function depression.

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Speaker 6: Would you say absolutely? You know, in PTSD research, post

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Speaker 6: traumatic stress to sort of research, the traumas that are

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Speaker 6: really identified as being the key traumas are not things

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Speaker 6: like that. And so when I do my research and

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Speaker 6: people come in and they're like, I've had you know,

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Speaker 6: so many miscarriage carriages that cow and I'm like, I

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Speaker 6: believe you, but according to this box, I can't say yes,

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Speaker 6: And that's so invalidating. So that's why I created these

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Speaker 6: like frequizes on our website where you can put in

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Speaker 6: these type of traumas, and that is definitely one of them.

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Speaker 3: Those you're trail actually voice and an opportunity for people

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Speaker 3: to to examine and process what they're going through in

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Speaker 3: light of this.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, because a trauma is something that shapes the way

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Speaker 6: that you view yourself in the world and the way

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Speaker 6: that you interact with the world, something that's painful, and

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Speaker 6: it doesn't have to be this big assault. It could

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Speaker 6: be something like, yeah, it's true, multiple miscarriagters, right.

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Speaker 4: I mean that's huge.

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Speaker 2: And doctor Joseph As, you are the first person to

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Speaker 2: really dig and do this research on high functioning depression.

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Speaker 2: How have other people received it in the medical world?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 5: How much time do you have them?

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Speaker 2: I'm just curious because being the first person being a

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Speaker 2: black woman, which and being the person that and you

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Speaker 2: have a book out about it, and you've really done

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Speaker 2: the research. How are other people because sometimes other people

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Speaker 2: cannot be accepting of things that maybe they don't even understand.

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Speaker 5: Well. Initially the feedback was that's not a real thing.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 6: Wait, there are still functioning, which again I think is

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Speaker 6: a broken model. Right, we have to help people before

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Speaker 6: they stop functioning. Initially they said that, But then I

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Speaker 6: teach at NYU.

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Speaker 3: I teach medical doctors, okay, and yuse my mom oh.

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Speaker 6: I teach some of the young doctors how to create

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Speaker 6: content to educate the public about mental health issues. And

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Speaker 6: so one of the things they asked me was can

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Speaker 6: you help us create social content because I already taught

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Speaker 6: them like you know, TV, press radio. So I said,

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Speaker 6: let me do a little test. I'll do a video

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Speaker 6: on high functioning depression a day in the life, and

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Speaker 6: we'll see how it does. I thought maybe one hundred

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Speaker 6: people will watch it. It was seen over twenty million

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Speaker 6: times around the world.

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Speaker 4: So I was on that resonated Yes, and what we're

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Speaker 4: saying is.

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Speaker 5: A lot right, people like, how do you have a

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Speaker 5: camera in my home? How do you know what my

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Speaker 5: day listening?

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Speaker 6: Wow, So that got the attention of the same people

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Speaker 6: who were like, it's not a thing. They were like,

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Speaker 6: I think it's a thing.

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Speaker 5: I'm like.

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Speaker 3: That though, because you you saw it, you gave it voice,

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Speaker 3: you put it out there, even though people were trying

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Speaker 3: to tell you wasn't even valid.

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Speaker 4: Kudos to you.

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Speaker 2: That's fantastic. And even doing social media. That was something

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Speaker 2: that also might be like in the in the medical world,

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Speaker 2: like what is this. This is not the normal traditional

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Speaker 2: way that we do things.

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Speaker 6: It's not And initially people were like, oh, what are

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Speaker 6: you trying to be an actor? And I'm like, I

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Speaker 6: grew up in a church where my dad, who's a pastor,

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Speaker 6: put us on stage three times a week.

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Speaker 5: Whether we wanted to or not.

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Speaker 6: We had to act on Bible skits, we had to say,

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Speaker 6: we have to do everything. So it just came naturally

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Speaker 6: to me. People understand when you explain things in an

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Speaker 6: entertaining waytely, it's not rocket science.

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Speaker 5: Don't make it rocket science.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 2: Another thing that you did was you traveled in broad

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Speaker 2: to see how different cultures also approach mental health.

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Speaker 1: What are some things you learned from that? Because that's

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Speaker 1: fascinating to me.

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Speaker 6: It is fascinating. You know, a lot of the terms

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Speaker 6: like narcissism, you know, like we think it's gas lighting. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: gas I think it's just an our culture on the

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Speaker 6: side of the world. But when you go to places

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Speaker 6: like India and you see a guru talking about the

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Speaker 6: ego and putting your ego aside, that's what he's saying,

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Speaker 6: don't be a narcissist, right, So mental health is everywhere

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Speaker 6: in the Caribbean. You know, like when my parents found

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Speaker 6: out it was going to be a psychiatrist, are like, way,

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Speaker 6: hanging out with a.

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Speaker 5: Crazy people.

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Speaker 6: Sounds right, But now they're so open to My dad

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Speaker 6: is like, let's do mental health, like.

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Speaker 1: You know the church and I'm like, what pastor.

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Speaker 6: But yeah, in the Caribbean, a lot of times I

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Speaker 6: do outreach within the Caribbean American community. I'm Trinidadian, so

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Speaker 6: I say, you know, mental health is ours. We're just

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Speaker 6: calling it something different. Like you know, when you eat

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Speaker 6: a curry and your ROTI those you know spices in

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Speaker 6: there that is anti inflammatory. That's like, actually, yes, helping

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Speaker 6: your brain. Okay, you're moving in your wine inside to side.

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Speaker 6: That's bilateral stimulation.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we got all right, Carnival coach Jesse.

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Speaker 1: Now all right.

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Speaker 2: Now, another thing that you also discussed, and I think

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Speaker 2: this is important is venting.

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Speaker 1: The importance in venting, but the right way to do it.

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Speaker 2: Can we talk about that here, because I think this

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Speaker 2: is something that a lot of people need to understand,

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Speaker 2: including myself absolutely.

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Speaker 6: You know, venting is when you express emotions and sometimes

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Speaker 6: we trauma dump. We don't that like, we don't we

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Speaker 6: don't ask consent, we don't say, hey, you know, is

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Speaker 6: it okay? If I talk to you, we're just like right,

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Speaker 6: and so we're not checking in to see how the

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Speaker 6: other person feels it's good. And when you're venting without intention,

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Speaker 6: you're not there for a specific goal. Like when you

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Speaker 6: vent pick one or two people. Talk to someone you

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Speaker 6: know is going to give you feedback that's honest and

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Speaker 6: not just what you want to hear. Right, and think

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Speaker 6: about who you're venting to, like are you venting to

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Speaker 6: an employee? Are you venting to a child? You know,

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Speaker 6: think about that power dynamic. Yes, because they're not going

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Speaker 6: to say no. If you're the boss, they're gonna be like,

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Speaker 6: all right, boss. And then they're gonna talk about you

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Speaker 6: behind their back or vent at home to someone else.

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Speaker 3: Right, are there scenarios where the venting cannot because you know,

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Speaker 3: one of the things we look at is there's times

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Speaker 3: where you really just need to feel the feelings. Yes, right,

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Speaker 3: and it's not time to give feedback yet. It's really

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Speaker 3: just time to don't like vent, right, because I deal

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Speaker 3: with this with my daughter. She's thirteen and she has

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Speaker 3: a lot, which is good because it's healthy that she

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Speaker 3: actually is sharing what's going on, and I typically I

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Speaker 3: want to, well, is that give her feedback I'm learning now?

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Speaker 4: It's like, no, you just got.

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Speaker 3: To let her first of all, let her process it

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Speaker 3: and then really do the list and then maybe come

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Speaker 3: back a little afterwards or asked, do you want to

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Speaker 3: hear about that?

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Speaker 6: No, When with teens especially, you want to do active listening.

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Speaker 6: You want them to tell you how they feel, but

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Speaker 6: then don't try to solve the problems. You know, like

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Speaker 6: imagine your hands being like you're sitting on your hands,

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Speaker 6: sit on my head, don't do any thing.

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Speaker 5: Just listen.

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Speaker 6: But what's also helpful with teenagers is to have them

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Speaker 6: self vent first, so they write their feelings into a journal,

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Speaker 6: and then they talk about how they feel, and then

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Speaker 6: they cool off a bit, and then they come to

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Speaker 6: the person. Because a teen's brain is way more impulsive

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Speaker 6: than our brain, so they're gonna be like, you know,

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Speaker 6: self done and you know, and then connect.

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Speaker 3: One of the things you said earlier was, you know,

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Speaker 3: mental health is ours.

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Speaker 4: Everybody's right. Why it's been found.

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Speaker 3: I think you've talked about how people of color are

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Speaker 3: more vulnerable, caregivers are more vulnerable. There are populations that

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Speaker 3: are more vulnerable, and why is that.

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Speaker 6: Well, the caregiving is big. In my study, the first

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Speaker 6: study ever published in a par review journal for high

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Speaker 6: function depression, we found a high correlation between that and caregivers.

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Speaker 6: They're constantly giving, they're constantly thinking about someone else. They

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Speaker 6: don't have time to break down, right, That's why they're

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Speaker 6: at risk for wearing that mask of productivity, because they

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Speaker 6: can't show how they feel. So definitely they are at risk.

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Speaker 6: But I say mental health is ours because we're all

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Speaker 6: built with the DNA for joy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we all.

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Speaker 6: Have dopemine in our brains. We just we forget how

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Speaker 6: to access it. And that's why I came up with

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Speaker 6: that method. The five v's because when you think about

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Speaker 6: your hand, right, most of us have five fingers, right,

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Speaker 6: But if you can tap into one of those v's

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Speaker 6: a day, you can reclaim your joy.

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Speaker 5: It's our birthright to be joyful.

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Speaker 6: Yes, So the first V validation VALIDATIONWAD acknowledge how you

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Speaker 6: feel and accept it good or bad. You know, I'd

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Speaker 6: liken it to being in like a dark room and

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Speaker 6: if something fell or something made a big noise, you

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Speaker 6: wouldn't know what it was. You start swinging, you didn't know,

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Speaker 6: But if you turn the light on, you see, oh,

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Speaker 6: it's just something that you know fell. It's not going

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Speaker 6: to hurt me. That's how acknowledging your feelings is. By

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Speaker 6: acknowledging and knowing how you feel, you're decreasing the uncertainty

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Speaker 6: and you're more at ease.

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Speaker 3: You're increasing the safety, right because when there's uncertainty, you're

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Speaker 3: feeling that fight or flight. So it's I'll let you

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Speaker 3: continue that because I want to get into the nervous system.

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Speaker 6: But that's obviously right when you know what you're dealing with,

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Speaker 6: That itself is a therapeutic intervention because you know it

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Speaker 6: now so you know what to do next.

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Speaker 5: And the second V is venting.

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Speaker 1: That's the expressing fee.

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Speaker 5: For some people that don't like to talk, that's okay.

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Speaker 5: Pray crying is a good way to journaling.

437
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 6: Like you said, journaling, just get it out right. And

438
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 6: the third is values. What are the things in life

439
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,159
Speaker 6: that are priceless, not with price tags, you know? For me,

440
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 6: I used to chase the degrees and this and the accolades,

441
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 6: but what really gives me a sense of purpose and

442
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,640
Speaker 6: meaningless connection. So be real about what your values are.

443
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 6: And I list them all in the book as well.

444
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,239
Speaker 6: And then the fourth is vitals. Take care of your

445
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 6: body and brain because you only get one and you're

446
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,199
Speaker 6: here for a reason. There's only one Jesse, only one Angela,

447
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 6: only one Judith ever to exist and in the future

448
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 6: of the universe, so take care of yourself.

449
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 2: Jesse likes that I've been preaching that, yes, you know.

450
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 4: So for envision, when we tevision.

451
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 6: Vision is how do you plan join the future so

452
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 6: you don't get stuck in the past, you keep moving forward.

453
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 3: So I've heard a therapist was talking about how people

454
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 3: who can think about the future, plan for the future

455
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 3: are less to have a psychotic episode.

456
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 5: Having something to look forward to. We all need hope.

457
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 1: That's my goal. That's what I do.

458
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 2: I do give myself things to look forward to, even

459
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 2: if it's like Christmas, I'm going away.

460
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 1: It's something I think about every day.

461
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 6: And that's that's a big one right now. It doesn't

462
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 6: have to be a big like after I finished with

463
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 6: you all, I'm gonna have a really nice macho latte.

464
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 5: I'm looking forward to that. You know, it's little.

465
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 4: Things that you can control.

466
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,679
Speaker 2: Schedule a massage for next week, and it's like, but

467
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 2: it is things that you're like, all right, at least

468
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get this massage next week.

469
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 1: Isn't feel so good. I need it in my back.

470
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 2: But you're right, And those are the things I do

471
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 2: feel like. That's something that I have. Like Dan is

472
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 2: the way he just my producer got married. I'm like

473
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 2: when he I'm taking a day. So those are the things.

474
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 1: Now. Another thing that now, there's certain.

475
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 2: Jobs, and you talk about there's certain professions that actually

476
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: will make you more prone to high functioning depression.

477
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 4: Like the caregier thing, right.

478
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 2: And so can we talk about that because even for

479
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 2: you when you were anesthesiologist, that affected you so much

480
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: that you would like time to make a switch. How

481
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 2: do people know when it's okay? How can I work

482
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 2: on this? Or maybe I just can't even do this

483
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 2: at all anymore.

484
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 4: Maybe it's toxic for me, Maybe it's really dangerous for me.

485
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 6: Right, And that member burnout is tied to the occupation.

486
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 6: Sometimes it's the case of both, right, a job burning

487
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 6: you out, and you also have that internal restlessness that

488
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 6: no matter what job you're in, you're going to be overproducing. Right,

489
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 6: So it can be both. But there are certain you know,

490
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 6: industries that are prone for this entertainment, you have to

491
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 6: always be on. You can't like who wants to hire you.

492
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 6: You're not going to get the gig if you're sad, right, Right,

493
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 6: So you're constantly in productive mode, right. Healthcare you're taking

494
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 6: care of page. You're not looking after yourself. Sometimes I

495
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 6: talk to nurses. They haven't peed all day?

496
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 4: Right, right, Wow, haven't had any water done?

497
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 5: Nothing?

498
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 2: Like teachers, Yes, teacher, man, that's such a tough job

499
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 2: that I feel like they don't get the rewards that

500
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: they deserve.

501
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 5: They don't.

502
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 6: They're invalidated all the time. And entrepreneurs right constantly thinking

503
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 6: about whether or not they're going to fail. That fair

504
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 6: of failure keeps them busy even when they're not at work.

505
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, frontline workers, it's like you don't get to have

506
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 3: your own life. No. Right, when we look back at

507
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 3: the pandemic, it was like even though everybody was going

508
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 3: through something, they still had to show up for everybody.

509
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 5: They do, they do. They are constantly thinking about others.

510
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 2: Can I ask you about something else that I've seen too?

511
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 2: Attack to Joseph, I want to talk about people who

512
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 2: are always a victim no matter what the situation is,

513
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: because there are people that actually, no matter what happens,

514
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 2: they'll find a way to make it seem like they

515
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 2: were wronged somehow in a situation, or this happened to

516
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 2: me and that's why this is the situation, instead of saying, well,

517
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 2: maybe I could have done something differently, or perhaps I

518
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 2: played a role in this.

519
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: But I know a few people who are kind of

520
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 1: like that.

521
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 2: They're always like complaining about venting about how somebody did

522
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: this to them and that's why this happened.

523
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 6: How would that be categorized? Yeah, it's so different from

524
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 6: what the high functioning folks do. We blame ourselves, like,

525
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 6: oh I wish I had done something differently or I

526
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 6: wouldn't be like this. But other people who have a

527
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 6: hard time with accountability that could be for different reasons.

528
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 6: They may have been raised in a household where they

529
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 6: were praised and they were like the favorite.

530
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 5: Chalivated, right, yeah, and the other.

531
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 6: Kids were the bad ones. And so if you're not

532
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,959
Speaker 6: taught along the way to have that empathy and to

533
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 6: be able to see someone else's perspective, then you're always right.

534
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 3: You're the self awareness right, because you're not taught to

535
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 3: look and reflect on yourself.

536
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 2: If you know somebody, you're close to, somebody who you like,

537
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,919
Speaker 2: I feel like nah, hearing dad to Joseph speak, that

538
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 2: person might have high functioning depression, but they're not really

539
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: willing to listen or accept that. How do you deal

540
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 2: with that? Like, how do you get somebody to open

541
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 2: up their minds help?

542
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 6: Know that this person does not want to burden you,

543
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 6: so they're not going to acknowledge that they need help.

544
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 6: But that's okay. You know, you want to show them

545
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,199
Speaker 6: that they don't have to be performing or doing to

546
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 6: gain your acceptance and love. So you can tell them,

547
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 6: you know, I don't we don't have to do nothing.

548
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 6: You don't have to cook, you have to take me out.

549
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 6: I will be happy just sitting with you because I'm

550
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 6: here just for you.

551
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 4: Yeah.

552
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 6: And you know, on the surface level their brain they

553
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 6: may not be able to take that in, but over time,

554
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 6: on a deeper level, it'll sink in.

555
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 4: I think I see what you're saying.

556
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 3: It's like it's starting to give them a safe place, right,

557
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 3: creating a safe place without them feeling like you're asking

558
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 3: them to do anything and you don't need anything from them, right,

559
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 3: So literally just being with them where they are.

560
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, and also realizing that this is a trauma. Responts

561
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 6: likely that after a trauma. We told children and adults

562
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 6: number one, it is not your fault. So know that

563
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 6: they're likely thinking, well, they must have done something in

564
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 6: life to be this way, right, So make sure that

565
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 6: they know it's not their fault, that you're there for

566
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 6: them no matter what.

567
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 5: Right.

568
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,679
Speaker 6: And when they see that, they can let down their guards,

569
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 6: they can slow down, they can just be They don't

570
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 6: have to be busy all the time.

571
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 2: One thing you also referenced a few times in the

572
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 2: book was getting divorced and how hard that was. What

573
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 2: were some of the things that you did to be

574
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: able to accept that and and keep it moving.

575
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 5: Wow.

576
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 6: Well, divorce is one of the traumas I put in

577
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 6: the Trauma Inventory.

578
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 4: You won't it's found in the regular you won't find

579
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 4: it in the record.

580
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 3: But it is.

581
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 6: Hard, you know, especially if kids and their financial issues involved.

582
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 6: So I put that in there for a reason because

583
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 6: it's one of those tap boots people won't talk about.

584
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 6: For me, as someone who had to be like perfect

585
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 6: all the time, it was very diffult for me to

586
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 6: talk about. And I think I talk about in the

587
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 6: book about how I didn't even tell my therapist about it,

588
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 6: and she's like.

589
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 5: What, she had no idea.

590
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,239
Speaker 6: But it's important because it's something that a lot of

591
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 6: people busy themselves to distract from. And I've seen it

592
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,719
Speaker 6: in my patients. When I go to these talking agents,

593
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 6: people say it too. It's one of those traumas that

594
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 6: does that to you, so acknowledge it.

595
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like somehow you're trying to convince yourself that

596
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 3: it's not because something was wrong with you.

597
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 6: Well, or that you the opposite, like you think you

598
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 6: must have done something.

599
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 4: Right that I'm saying I must have done.

600
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, the people down because my mom she's Caribbean.

601
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and my grandparents are super religious, and so

602
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,239
Speaker 2: for them it was like divorces and no, no, like

603
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 2: you absolutely cannot.

604
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 1: You have to figure it out.

605
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 4: I'm not even thinking what that could.

606
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 3: It could cause more damage staying in a relationship, definitely, because.

607
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 2: Sometimes it feels like society looks at it like you

608
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 2: gave up if you get divorced instead of saying I

609
00:27:58,600 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 2: want happiness.

610
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 6: Divorce content is some of the busiest. Look at the

611
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 6: the comments is like a full on brawl. I did

612
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 6: this one video on generations like looking at how boomers,

613
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 6: maget X, millennials, and gen Z approach divorce. That is

614
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 6: one of my most viral videos because people have very

615
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 6: strong opinions about divorce. I'm not saying I'm ford or

616
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 6: against it, but for some people, certain unions have a

617
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 6: season and after that that's it. But it is a

618
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 6: trauma because it's actually listed as one of the childhood

619
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 6: adverse events underneath.

620
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 4: That's correct.

621
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 3: Actually it's one of the highest ones. Right if your

622
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 3: parents got divorced, right, and so why.

623
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 4: Wouldn't it be if you were going through it?

624
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 5: Yes?

625
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: And so do you feel like you have reclaimed your joy.

626
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 5: A hundred percent?

627
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 6: I mean I used to be so busy that my

628
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 6: aunt Handonia was just like h But finding a way

629
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 6: to connect with people again, because that's my point of

630
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 6: joy is connection through socials, through communities, through just day

631
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 6: to day in my office with my family. That's real

632
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 6: joy from me. And I feel like before I was

633
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 6: chasing the values that were superficial and while tapping into

634
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 6: the ones that brought me purpose and meaning.

635
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 3: You know, one of the things we talk a lot

636
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,959
Speaker 3: about is emphasizing natural health solutions.

637
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 4: Right, and there are you know, healing.

638
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: Is holistic, so yes, there's the mental health support you need.

639
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 3: And then there are also things that actually exhibit because

640
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 3: or they mimic the symptoms because it can be vitamin

641
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 3: deficiencies or hormonal and balance right, and we find that

642
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 3: there are a lot of women who they're experiencing these

643
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 3: things they don't realize, well, you're actually D three deficient,

644
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: so deficient that you're feeling like this right, absolutely, it

645
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 3: actually could cause exacerbate, exacerbated perimenopause menopause symptoms. Mimicking them

646
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 3: actually and then taking it causes the stress to be

647
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: even worse in terms of the impact on your body.

648
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 4: Talk about that.

649
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 6: I always check because in my lab we do blood work,

650
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 6: and so I always check for vitamin deficiencies because my

651
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 6: high functioning folks they're not eating properly. They're like shoving

652
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 6: the food, the process food, and they're getting their nutrients right,

653
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 6: They're too busy.

654
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 3: They're not getting their own megas, they're not getting their

655
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 3: anti inflammatories.

656
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 6: So I check the panels because a lot of them

657
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 6: are B deficient, vitamin D deficient, and you need these

658
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,719
Speaker 6: things for your brain to be happy. I always say, like,

659
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 6: know the science of your happiness, right, your happiness is

660
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 6: different than mine, Your science is different than mine. And

661
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 6: in my book I talk about the bio psychosocial model. Biologically,

662
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 6: that person who's not getting the nutrients, they're going to

663
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 6: need some help.

664
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 5: They're need some support.

665
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 6: There, yes, but someone else may not write and then psychologically,

666
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 6: what is your trauma, what's your attachment style? Socially what

667
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 6: are the habits you're engaging in? So we all have

668
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 6: our own fingerprints, but we also all have our own

669
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 6: biopsychosocial So understand the science of your happiness. Learn what's

670
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 6: pulling away from your happiness, so you know how to

671
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 6: punished that.

672
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 3: That's very interesting. You mentioned attachments. How when you go

673
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 3: back to the trauma piece, some people are dealing with

674
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 3: trauma because they never learned healthy attachments.

675
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 6: They learned it, they never learned it, and they don't

676
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 6: even understand their attachment style.

677
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 5: They think, Oh, I'm just not a relationship.

678
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 3: Person, right, I'm just I'm just disconnected. No, you never

679
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 3: attached in the first place.

680
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 2: Right, man, Well, this book is amazing. How have people

681
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 2: received it from? Oh, we got it at the Van's Copies,

682
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: you got.

683
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 5: Okay, it just came out yesterday, but was sold out.

684
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: My launch party sold good, so good, I was the word.

685
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 6: I was like, nobody's gonna come and I'm like, oh, wow,

686
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 6: thank you.

687
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 2: Now, congratulations on that though well deserved. I have to

688
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 2: say I was fascinated while I was reading this taking quizzes.

689
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: I was a little ashamed. I was like, it might be.

690
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 3: What is your hope for you know in this work?

691
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 3: What do you want to see it do?

692
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 6: I want people to take the quiz and say, oh

693
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 6: my gosh, Anne Hondonia never knew what that was, and

694
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 6: now I can do something about it. A lack of

695
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 6: joy is a problem. You were again, everyone was born

696
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 6: with the DNA for joy it's your birthright.

697
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 5: So reclaim it.

698
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,239
Speaker 6: And I want them to learn about ways that they

699
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 6: can do it in a fun way. It's a book

700
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 6: about high function of pressure, but I think it's really fun,

701
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 6: so I think people will be surprised.

702
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 5: You can't.

703
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 6: You can't talk about the pressure without talking about happiness,

704
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 6: so it has to put both in there.

705
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 2: I just think of certain circumstances because I definitely took

706
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,959
Speaker 2: the quiz right and some things I got to work on.

707
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: But even like reading for joy. First of all, I

708
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: was an English major.

709
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: I love reading.

710
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 2: I read all the time this But but you talk

711
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 2: about how even for you something that you used to

712
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 2: find so much joy in, You know, going to school

713
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 2: and having to study will change that.

714
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 5: It does. Yeah, exhausted love reading.

715
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 4: It can exhaust you so much.

716
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: Are you back on that now?

717
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

718
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 6: The book that made me realize how much I was

719
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 6: missing out and joy was Michelle Obama's Becoming. I can

720
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,719
Speaker 6: talk about that and they are as like I was, like,

721
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 6: I forgot that I used to read for joy, and

722
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 6: after I read that book, I started reading again.

723
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 2: One of the questions is do you find it difficult

724
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 2: to be present while experiencing simple pleasures. I think one

725
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 2: of the issues with that is that people are on

726
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 2: their phones all the time, and it's really hard for

727
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 2: people to focus at a function, at dinner with their

728
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 2: significant other, watching a movie, whatever it is, because they

729
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 2: just keep on picking up their phone to do certain

730
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: to just scroll and do those things when you can't

731
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: even like be present in the moment.

732
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 5: That's part of the business, right, you can't sit still?

733
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 5: What do you do? You have to busy yourself on

734
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 5: your phone, so before you know.

735
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 4: What, you're screws.

736
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 3: So do you offer solutions some tips in terms of

737
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 3: things that people should do.

738
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 6: Well for the busying with the phone. I offer my

739
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 6: reset method, so you know. The R is realize how

740
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 6: socials or being online is impacting you, because many of

741
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 6: us don't even realize that. Is it getting a way

742
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 6: of your productivity? Is it making you less connected to

743
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 6: the people that you.

744
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 3: Love and are people right around you right? Are you

745
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 3: losing that opportunity?

746
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: Yeah?

747
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 6: Is it causing you to feel low confidence because you're

748
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 6: constantly looking at other people? The E is educate yourself

749
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 6: because there's data that shows that it impacts a young

750
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 6: brain differently than an adult brain. And it's emerging data,

751
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 6: but it's important to know that educate yourself. The S

752
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 6: and reset is strategy. What's your plan? Are you going

753
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 6: to limit it to certain times of the day? Are

754
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 6: you going to limit it to certain accounting going to follow?

755
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 6: Is everyone in the home going to be off of

756
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 6: the device? The next e is expectation? What are you

757
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 6: hoping to get out of this? Are you hoping to

758
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 6: feel better, connected, more productive, get more better sleep?

759
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 5: You know?

760
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 6: And then the T is the thoughtfulness in that whole process.

761
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 6: Was that plan that you put in place to rigid?

762
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,720
Speaker 6: Was it to relax? What do you do differently? Everyone

763
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 6: could do the reset. I teach it to adults and

764
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 6: to children, but it's important to have a tool because

765
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 6: it's great to know that it's happening, but you want

766
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 6: to have actionable things to do about it.

767
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: Man, And it's a crazy time out here right now.

768
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,439
Speaker 2: I do want say that too. That's the other thing

769
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 2: that I feel. And it's going to be interesting to

770
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 2: me to see what the impact from I'm sure COVID

771
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 2: has brought a whole different set of issues, even the

772
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 2: after effects of that, But now people are so concerned

773
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: about the I mean, I am people about the economy

774
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: and what's happening, you know, and like my family sends

775
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 2: out these links NonStop, like oh, these are the things

776
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 2: you need to stop pile and it's like sometimes gets

777
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 2: me some anxiety for thinking about like what am I

778
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: going to do?

779
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 5: Yes?

780
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 6: No, it's liking it to a wave. In my book,

781
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 6: it's like an ocean of trauma. It's like first the pandemic.

782
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 3: No, it is, absolutely, it's more like a tsunami.

783
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 4: It's like we can't.

784
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 6: Catch our breath. It's like wave the way we can't

785
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 6: process it. So acknowledge that and turn yourself off from that.

786
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 6: You know, you don't have to be have access to

787
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 6: that information.

788
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 4: All all the time.

789
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 1: But tell my dad steps sending these links, man, because

790
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what I do.

791
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 4: I mute the chat there as certain chats, I won't even.

792
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 2: Got a whole bunch of different chats. I got tatismate

793
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: just my immediate family testing my aunts. I'm like, enough

794
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 2: with the different tests.

795
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 3: Can we just do one One of the things I

796
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 3: wanted to say beyond nutrition there because I mentioned it

797
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 3: earlier around actually training your your sympathetic your parasympathetic nervous system.

798
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 3: So the sympathetic nervous system is your fight or flight, right,

799
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 3: it is.

800
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 4: You're always on the go, right.

801
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 3: And then there's a parasympathetic nervous system, which is really

802
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 3: your rest and your digest right, which helps you be

803
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 3: in a place of homeostasis, of healing, of balance. What

804
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 3: are some of the things that people can do to

805
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 3: just help themselves be in a place of balance throughout

806
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 3: the day, like neuroplasticity, plasticity exercises, mindfulness, breathwork.

807
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 4: Can we talk about that a little bit.

808
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's actually the five tour through two one method

809
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 6: in my book. Because what happens is that you're so

810
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 6: busy you're not attached to yourself. It's like disassociation or

811
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 6: you feel like you're not even in the situation, like

812
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 6: the day just goes by, right, And so it's a

813
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,720
Speaker 6: grounding tool to alight stay present, and it's simple. Anyone

814
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 6: can do it. So you can pick one activity to do.

815
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 6: It could be you're drinking your tea or whatever beverage

816
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 6: you have, and you're going to stay present there by

817
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 6: saying what are five things.

818
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 5: That I can see?

819
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 4: Right?

820
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 6: And you name the five things that you see. What

821
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 6: are the four things that I can feel. Right, what

822
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 6: are three things I can hear? What are two things

823
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 6: I can smell? One thing I can taste.

824
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:22,799
Speaker 3: I love that.

825
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 6: And when you're doing that, you're not thinking if you're

826
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 6: doing all the senses and yeah, you're not thinking, oh,

827
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 6: I have a board meeting in ten minutes. You know,

828
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 6: you're not thinking, I got to like pick up the

829
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 6: kids after work. Right, you're so present and engage in

830
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 6: this one activity, and you're teaching yourself that you can

831
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 6: focus on you for just a couple of minutes. So

832
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 6: it's a retrain of your brain that things happen are

833
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 6: happening in the world, but you can still focus on

834
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 6: you and stay present. And it's in the book and

835
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 6: it's very simple.

836
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 4: It's very simple.

837
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: It's like we all need to make sure we get

838
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: this book.

839
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 2: Yes, high functioning, overcoming you're hidden depression and reclaim your joy.

840
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining us today. That did

841
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 2: with Joseph. This has been amazing. The forwards by mel Robbins.

842
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,359
Speaker 2: By the way, he also hello, it's nice to see

843
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 2: they're two incredible.

844
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: Together in this So where.

845
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 4: Where can people support you?

846
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 6: Oh?

847
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for having me both. It's so lovely.

848
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 6: You can find me at doctor Judith Joseph on All

849
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 6: the Socials and doctor Judith Joseph dot Com.

850
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 4: Excellent.

851
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: Yay, y'all all listen. I needed this.

852
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 2: I gotta work. I got work to do. It is

853
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 2: our resistance, right right.

854
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: The first thing is to be aware of what's going on.

855
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: Let's get that together.

856
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 5: And I love how we match the book. It's way