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Speaker 1: All right, it's time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARVIFM dot com.

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Speaker 1: All you have to do is click on submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm, it could be yours. Bu come up and hold

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Speaker 2: on tight. We got it for you. Here. It is

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Speaker 2: Strawberry Letter. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Nephew's subject. When I want it, he doesn't. Dear Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: my husband and I have been together for five years

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Speaker 1: and we've been married almost a year, and our premarital counseling,

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Speaker 1: the only thing we didn't agree on is the frequency

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Speaker 1: of sex in our marriage. I have always been the

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Speaker 1: aggressor in our sex life and that was weird to

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Speaker 1: me and our pastor who was counseling us. My pastor

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Speaker 1: offered to do a private session with my husband to

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Speaker 1: be to see if there was anything in his past

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Speaker 1: that's holding him back and making sex less enjoyable for him.

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Speaker 1: My man declined the offer and said he was fine physically.

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Speaker 1: During the last two months of our marriage, my husband

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Speaker 1: has really cut back on sex. If I even act

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Speaker 1: like I might want to touch him, he acts like

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Speaker 1: he's so very tired, or he acts like he is

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Speaker 1: really into the TV show he's watching. I moved the

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Speaker 1: TV in our bedroom from in front of our bed

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Speaker 1: to the sitting area so he will not have any

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Speaker 1: reason to avoid my advances. I have put on lingerie

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Speaker 1: trying to entice him, but it never works. I can

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Speaker 1: see that he is very much in the mood to

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Speaker 1: do it, but he won't. Instead, he will wake me

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Speaker 1: up on a random Saturday morning when he knows I've

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Speaker 1: got to get to a sorority meeting, and then he's

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Speaker 1: ready for sex. He does all of that so he

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Speaker 1: can throw it up in my face later, like you

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Speaker 1: remember the time I was ready and willing and you

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Speaker 1: turn me down. This is all a game for him,

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Speaker 1: and I'm starting to think someone else is taking care

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Speaker 1: of his sexual needs. It is affecting myself as because

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Speaker 1: I feel powerful and loved after sex, but lately I've

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Speaker 1: felt so inadequate. Could he be loving on someone else?

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Speaker 1: If so, why won't he tell me? Well, if that

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Speaker 1: is happening if he is loving on someone else, like

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Speaker 1: you say, that is not some information that he's going

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Speaker 1: to volunteer. He's not going to just open up and

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Speaker 1: tell you that. For that to happen, he would have

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Speaker 1: to do something really really stupid, get caught in the act,

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Speaker 1: or change his behavior in some way, and even then

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Speaker 1: he'll lie to get out of it. And you already

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Speaker 1: said that he's been rationing out the sec since before

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Speaker 1: you guys got married. Even the pastor tried to help,

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Speaker 1: but your husband said he's fine physically. Clearly he's not.

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Speaker 1: In this situation. You guys are married, What is the problem.

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Speaker 1: There's definitely some drama going on with him. It could

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Speaker 1: be medical, it could be physical, or it could be

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Speaker 1: that he feels some kind of way about you. So

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Speaker 1: the bottom line is you need to get to the

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Speaker 1: reason he's rejecting you, because that's what this is all about.

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Speaker 1: You're ready, he's not when you want it, he doesn't.

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Speaker 1: You said, you've always been the aggressor when it comes

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Speaker 1: to intimacy. Why is that? And you married him anyway,

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Speaker 1: You've got to talk to him. You've got to find

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Speaker 1: out what the problem is. You got to treat this

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Speaker 1: situation with some urgency. You've invested almost six years in

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Speaker 1: this relationship slash marriage. You need and deserve some answers.

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Speaker 1: And please do not continue to wait for him to

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Speaker 1: bring it up, because he's not. He's not going to

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Speaker 1: tell you what's going on. That's not going to happen.

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Speaker 1: You have to do this on your own. You need

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Speaker 1: to get with him immediately. Tommy, it's you.

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Speaker 2: Let's just get right to it.

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Speaker 3: There is not a man walking that does not want

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Speaker 3: it as much as he can get it.

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Speaker 2: It's you.

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Speaker 3: There's something about you that does not turn this man on.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 3: I have no earthly idea, but there's something about you

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Speaker 3: that he does not like or does not want.

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Speaker 2: Intimately, he does not want.

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Speaker 3: It, all right if you if you're telling me that

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Speaker 3: he looks like he wants it, he's ready and and

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Speaker 3: and and does not approach it. And guess what, it's you.

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Speaker 3: It's something about you that he that that's not turning

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Speaker 3: him on.

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Speaker 2: Home.

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Speaker 3: That's something about you that makes him say, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: pump the brakes on this. I'm not gonna do that.

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Speaker 3: Something about you, your pastor can't help this situation, and

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you another dog on thing. What you're

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Speaker 3: gonna do is put that damn TV back where it was. Okay,

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Speaker 3: you're not fins to be moving this damn TV now

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Speaker 3: because I need my remote. But when I'm thirty twelve

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Speaker 3: o'clock at night, I need my TV. Okay, that is that?

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Speaker 3: Is that that in Thomma's household. I got to have

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Speaker 3: that remote, and I got to have that. I can

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Speaker 3: badly sleep as it is, so I got to have

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Speaker 3: my late night Colombo on my TV.

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Speaker 2: I got to have that. Okay, you're not finna.

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Speaker 3: Move my TV because you're not getting what you want

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Speaker 3: because you really ain't gonna get with you want now

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Speaker 3: you to move my dog on TV. So it's your

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Speaker 3: baby girl. That's something about you that he does not like.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it's something that you're doing sexually.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it's I don't know if it's

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Speaker 3: that you just don't turn him on. But my, my,

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Speaker 3: my big question to you is if it was already

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Speaker 3: lacking in the beginning, why did you marry this man?

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Speaker 2: What is what? What?

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Speaker 3: Why would you do that if you're not getting what

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Speaker 3: you what evidently you got to have. If you're not

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Speaker 3: getting it before marriage, what made you walk down the

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Speaker 3: aisle and say we'll fix that part later. If that

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Speaker 3: part is already broken, what makes you think you can

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Speaker 3: fix that later on? That's that's that's gotta be. That's

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Speaker 3: one of your boxes that's got to be checked. Says

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Speaker 3: got to be checked. And you if you're going down

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Speaker 3: the line of your boxes. He's a good man. He

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Speaker 3: does this, he provides, he does that. And then we

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Speaker 3: get to the sex box, and you can't really check

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Speaker 3: that one, but that is almost mandatory for you, and

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Speaker 3: we don't check it, but you continue to walk down

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Speaker 3: that aisle and say we're gonna fix this later. Now

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Speaker 3: here we all been married a year and and and

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Speaker 3: and he ain't looking at you, and he already know

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Speaker 3: how to run his game. I try to, I try

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Speaker 3: to do something on Saturday when I know she got

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Speaker 3: to get up and go somewhere.

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Speaker 2: This game game. He know what he doing. He don't

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Speaker 2: want it, but go ahead.

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Speaker 1: So so I'm going to ask you this as we

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Speaker 1: as we go out right now, could he be loving

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Speaker 1: on someone else? That's what she wants to know. Won't

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Speaker 1: he tell her.

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Speaker 2: Ain't nobody telling you they love it on? Nobody else?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: Something to do that? Come on to that? Will you

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Speaker 2: will do that? I'm about to do that.

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Speaker 4: Abody confessing to that?

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Speaker 1: No, all right, hang on, hang on, We're gonna have

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Speaker 1: part two coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters subject is when I want it, he doesn't.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it, and here from Junior right

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Speaker 1: after this.

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Speaker 4: No, won't you You don't want to hear from me.

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Speaker 1: You're listening hard morning show. All right, here we are.

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Speaker 1: We are back in part two of the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is when I want it, he doesn't. A

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Speaker 1: young lady wrote in she and her husband have been

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Speaker 1: together five years but married almost a year. They've had

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Speaker 1: premarital counseling. The only thing they didn't agree on was

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Speaker 1: the frequency of sex in their marriage. She says she's

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Speaker 1: always been the aggressor when it comes to sex. She

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Speaker 1: said it was weird to me, and it was weird

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Speaker 1: to their pastor, to her pastor who they were having

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Speaker 1: the premarital counseling with as well, and so much so

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Speaker 1: that the pastor offered to have a private session with

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Speaker 1: the husband to be so he could try to figure

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Speaker 1: out if there was something in its past that was

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Speaker 1: making him, you know, like this, or holding him back,

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Speaker 1: or making sex unenjoyable for him, what was the issue.

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Speaker 1: But the husband to be the husband now declined on that.

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Speaker 1: He said he was fine physically fine, fine, fine. So

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Speaker 1: the wife is still wondering, you know, what is going on?

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Speaker 1: If she tries to touch him, she gets rejected, or

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Speaker 1: she said, the one thing her husband will do is

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Speaker 1: on Saturday morning when she has to rush out and

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Speaker 1: get to the sorority meeting, then he's ready. So she wants

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Speaker 1: to know what is going on. She moved the TV

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Speaker 1: out of the bedroom so there will be no distractions

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Speaker 1: all of that. She wants to know. Could he be

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Speaker 1: loving on someone else? If so, why won't he tell her?

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Speaker 5: Junior, don't come to me, it's too personal. Don't let

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Speaker 5: me tell you something that I know what the problem means.

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Speaker 5: And is he love on somebody else? That's irrelevant. He's

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Speaker 5: not gonna tell you that if he is, so I'm

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Speaker 5: not going there. My problem with this whole thing is

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Speaker 5: you too good?

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Speaker 4: At six? You too good? See I'm tell you right

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Speaker 4: now because I don't even want to get upset.

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Speaker 2: But he is me.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait wait wait, he is me junior.

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Speaker 2: What's going on with this? Right?

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Speaker 5: I'm telling you right now, this man needs support group,

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Speaker 5: and I have one and it's called We can't take it.

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Speaker 5: We meet the last Thursday of every money send pm.

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Speaker 5: You come join this meeting with us.

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Speaker 4: We can't.

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Speaker 5: We can't handle all of this. You're too good at it.

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Speaker 5: The man don't want you to touch it. I mean,

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Speaker 5: you too good. He you can't even touch this man.

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Speaker 5: If we meet the last Thursday of every month, seven pm,

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Speaker 5: be there, I'll send you the information. Just give me

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Speaker 5: your email. I email your invitation. We sit up here, confessed. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: yet for the whole cause we sit up and we

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Speaker 5: set up, we talk about how they do it, do

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Speaker 5: us kissing me on the neck.

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Speaker 4: We can't do it. We can't do this too much

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Speaker 4: because it leads to everything. We tired all the time.

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Speaker 4: You're weighing us out.

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Speaker 5: We cannot take all this and have a job at

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Speaker 5: the same time. She too good at the shirt, she

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Speaker 5: too good at it. Okay, I'm telling you right now

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Speaker 5: what you bringing the ice in the room for? See,

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Speaker 5: we got a dude in the group that confessed that

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Speaker 5: they brought the ice in the room. Why is this

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Speaker 5: hot waxing him?

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Speaker 4: We got all of us.

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Speaker 5: Have these issues, and you need to be at the

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Speaker 5: group last Thursday of every month, seven pm.

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Speaker 4: Come on in here with us and confess.

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Speaker 1: But it was fine physically.

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Speaker 4: I do the same thing. My wife and a sorority too.

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Speaker 4: I asked, I wake up on Saturday, Thay, let's go

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Speaker 4: ahead and try something. She said, I gotta go to

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Speaker 4: the meeting. I said the same thing. He going, So

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Speaker 4: I'm going.

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Speaker 1: But he's fine.

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Speaker 5: Physically, Yes, we all find physically she too good at it.

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Speaker 4: How my favorite time, I'm crying when we finished. He's

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Speaker 4: too good.

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Speaker 1: Now you're crying right now.

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Speaker 4: Crying now because I know what this man going through.

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Speaker 5: Y'all siting up here trying to make fun of him

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Speaker 5: and tell me he ain't a meeting with the pastor

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Speaker 5: the pastor ain't nothing wrong with me.

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Speaker 1: She's just too good. But I mean she she puts

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Speaker 1: in a lot of efforts. Juniors, she wears lungs. You

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Speaker 1: ress all your das.

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Speaker 5: Because you come in the road with We don't do

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Speaker 5: regular say what's the pit bulling here?

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Speaker 2: Fuck?

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Speaker 4: Why pull. I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: So she's too good. That's her problem.

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Speaker 4: Hey, hey, hey, hey, what you doing with the pineapple?

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Speaker 4: I don't want the pineapple in here?

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Speaker 1: She too good at She too good at that problem.

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Speaker 1: Even though he's fine physically, like he told the pastor

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Speaker 1: who tried to help him, he's fine.

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Speaker 5: There's nothing wrong with it. She just too good, he said.

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Speaker 5: She doing stuff he ain't never seen before and ain't

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Speaker 5: about to be married.

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Speaker 1: No, you can't have it like time here, not know Mary.

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Speaker 4: But they'll understanding.

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Speaker 1: This shirt's Shirley.

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Speaker 4: I don't care. I'm just telling you, Shirley. We meet

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Speaker 4: on Thursdays, last Thursday, every ron. We got to meet

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Speaker 4: this Thursday.

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Speaker 5: Turn up last seven pm. He needs to be in

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Speaker 5: here because you got to be a ground. Some men

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Speaker 5: who understand you forget what that path to talk about.

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Speaker 5: Ain't nothing wrong with your dog.

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Speaker 4: She's just too good at the sex. That's what it is.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 5: He ain't got nobody else. I can tell you that now,

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Speaker 5: he ain't got nobody else. She too good at it.

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Speaker 5: But I'm like Tommy, put that TV back though, Put

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Speaker 5: that that's important. Put that TV got to go back.

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Speaker 1: Where this us She moved the TV from in front

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Speaker 1: of the bed. She moved it over to the sitting

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Speaker 1: area so he wouldn't have any ex Hey.

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Speaker 5: What you're doing on the dresser. I don't need you

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Speaker 5: on the dresser. I need what you're doing. See it's

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Speaker 5: too much shirtle. You can't have the type of sex

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Speaker 5: in the bedroom. Man scared, that's all it is. He

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Speaker 5: just scared like the rest of us, because we meet

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Speaker 5: on Thursdays, seven pm, last thurday, every month.

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Speaker 4: You got to meet in this Thursday. Just come in here.

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Speaker 2: To us though.

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Speaker 3: I'm not even sleeping in no, no more, I'm sleeping

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Speaker 3: with a TV at Nah, I'm in the sitting room.

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Speaker 2: I'm not.

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Speaker 3: I'm not.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sleeping in that. Well, I don'na be where

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Speaker 2: the TV yet. That's it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why why is you guy?

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Speaker 4: No, it's a group.

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Speaker 5: It's a group of people. There are men who are

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Speaker 5: scared of saying there. Why because he too good at it?

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Speaker 1: Well, why didn't you bring all that out at the

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Speaker 1: pre Maryland.

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Speaker 4: You can't tell the past of that. You gotta tell

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Speaker 4: that this group last Thursday everyone seven pm.

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Speaker 1: Well, the pastor offered, uh, you know, private sessions.

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Speaker 2: Path to get her left. Know what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Somebody want she wants her man, what these.

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Speaker 4: Feathers in here?

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Speaker 2: Do what?

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Speaker 4: She just just try to have regular sex. That's it.

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Speaker 4: Don't bring that extra in here, Okay, don't do that.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 4: So like like one time my wife she wanted to say,

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Speaker 4: she slapped me off the top. I couldn't.

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Speaker 5: When you get slapping, you ain't ready, Yeah, slap me

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Speaker 5: and said, I look and then take your clothes off.

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Speaker 4: I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: Go.

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Speaker 2: Time's too much.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, guys. Hit us up on Instagram and Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey f M and UH. If you want to comment

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Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter, you can also check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeart Radio app. Coming

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Speaker 1: up next it is Junior and Sports Talk Right Afre Shirley.

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Speaker 4: Do you tell them when to meet MEA.

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Speaker 1: Shirley Every Thursday seven am. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to Harvey Morning Show