Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you want your way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminal and gay we want to send you off INSTI
Speaker 2: we wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared?
Speaker 3: Or was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do your need you ride?
Speaker 3: Ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need.
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 4: This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 4: Hello, my friend.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hello Chris, Hello, Hello Neil Diamond.
Speaker 6: They're really that was just a default diamond that I
Speaker 6: was not planning on.
Speaker 1: Deep down default diamond.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's always in there somewhere.
Speaker 1: You can rely on him.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I really can. To never leave me, to never
Speaker 6: never leave me brain. I'm just back. I did a
Speaker 6: festival of music in Boise, Idaho.
Speaker 1: What do you play?
Speaker 4: I played the mandolin?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? I did?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 6: Word jokes with my now fits.
Speaker 1: In between bounds.
Speaker 6: I was told, yes that everything would be My concerts
Speaker 6: would be in a comedy specific building, and right when
Speaker 6: I got there, sure enough, they're like, oh, you're just
Speaker 6: going to do a fifteen minute set on the Maid
Speaker 6: stage after guided by voices, and there was everything I require.
Speaker 6: No ceiling, the sun was still out. Check yep, zero
Speaker 6: knowledge that a comedian would be performing. Check yes, a
Speaker 6: child off in the peripheral on Healey's.
Speaker 4: There was a lot of children.
Speaker 6: But I just say, first, stand up open with the
Speaker 6: sex tape bit. Yes, if your kid knows what a
Speaker 6: sex tape is, that's on you as a parent. And
Speaker 6: it actually ended up being the most fun I had
Speaker 6: at the festival because my back was against the wall
Speaker 6: and I felt twenty four and scared again.
Speaker 1: Yes, and you were truly alive and.
Speaker 6: Truly afterwards, I was like I was up till five
Speaker 6: in the morning because I was so excited.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, you fought and you won. You got in there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you took on the great improv and you did it
Speaker 1: and you won.
Speaker 6: And then later on that night the show that was
Speaker 6: under my name that people came for, I kind of
Speaker 6: ate shit, but.
Speaker 1: Whatever, Hey, hey at least that's the one they'll remember.
Speaker 6: Yeah, O Diamond, Well, I'm very excited for our guests today,
Speaker 6: are you, yes, very much so.
Speaker 5: Also because right now and I don't know if he's
Speaker 5: doing this, because he's a deep down he's a director,
Speaker 5: but he's far away and I feel like he's going
Speaker 5: to make an entrance in me. Well, this person so
Speaker 5: much I feel I don't even tell you.
Speaker 6: When you're a little kid, you know you're like in
Speaker 6: a makeshift haunted house on the edge of town, and
Speaker 6: you know someone's going to jump out and scare you,
Speaker 6: except there's the anticipation of delight, right but he's hiding.
Speaker 4: Hiding very scarily in the corner of the frame.
Speaker 5: Guys, our guest today has played clubs and college all
Speaker 5: over this country.
Speaker 4: So many colleges.
Speaker 5: Oh it's a he's a he's they call him the
Speaker 5: Ivy League comedian just keeps getting asked back to all
Speaker 5: of this, the sister colleges, I think they're called you.
Speaker 6: You may know him from so many things, including Gail,
Speaker 6: his videos. That's how I I mean, it's old news now,
Speaker 6: why even bring it up?
Speaker 4: What am I? Let's just there's.
Speaker 1: Sick, there's Sick Jan, there's Gail. There's this yellow hat
Speaker 1: he's been wearing lately.
Speaker 3: I follow him.
Speaker 5: I spent my vacation showing other people his videos. We
Speaker 5: laughed and laughed.
Speaker 6: One of the great and I know we're introducing him.
Speaker 6: We ramp up slowly. I yes, I recently thought I
Speaker 6: discovered a new person I loved just from Instagram, and
Speaker 6: then not realize, Oh, I've seen this person many times anyway.
Speaker 1: So uh and that person was our guest today.
Speaker 6: Yeah, today, whose name is, as you know, Chris flemingm.
Speaker 3: I guys, yes, god, you can't. I like to do
Speaker 3: the angles I was. I like to play with planes,
Speaker 3: you know, and yes trying. I was in the deep
Speaker 3: in the deep southeast and you traveled up corner of
Speaker 3: the screen. I think that in those in those beginnings,
Speaker 3: you should there should be like a dunk tank that
Speaker 3: the guest is released from, Like we should be in
Speaker 3: a chamber and then you press it and we're just screaming,
Speaker 3: hitting plexiglass, and then you then you hit the button
Speaker 3: and we enter. Are we trying to get out?
Speaker 6: Yeah, we can't finish your intro until we throw a
Speaker 6: ball into into a hole with and actually hit the button.
Speaker 6: Sometimes our guests never gets dunked, and so we can't.
Speaker 4: We don't end up having a guest.
Speaker 7: I like how we're willed into existence at the.
Speaker 5: End and finally and then finally here he is today.
Speaker 5: We also in that dunk take, I think the oxygen
Speaker 5: should be slowly sucked out so that there was an
Speaker 5: element of danger, right, and maybe loss of consciousness.
Speaker 7: Yeah, like in the Prestige when Hugh Jackman is you
Speaker 7: can tell?
Speaker 3: Or so?
Speaker 7: Maybe I think it's the assistant who's begging?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 7: Who's that Australian woman? Remember?
Speaker 1: Is it Sanna Miller?
Speaker 7: I believe she's married to Sasha Baron Cohen.
Speaker 4: Oh her when she first I've worked with her?
Speaker 3: Oh what Chris?
Speaker 6: It was in Boys, it was Shakespeare in the Park.
Speaker 6: She had just come. She was over from under down
Speaker 6: she no, she yeah, Eliza Fisher, Isla Fisher, Yes, Isla Fisher,
Speaker 6: Isla Irie Island.
Speaker 4: She was very sweet and I have a crush owner
Speaker 4: to this day.
Speaker 3: But I am how dare you?
Speaker 4: How dare I covet another man's wife?
Speaker 7: That is?
Speaker 3: That is immortal thing? Is you're actively trying to cove
Speaker 3: it right now?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Do you guys mind if I stand like a we
Speaker 7: are the world type thing?
Speaker 3: Whenever I said I get to NPR my voice changes.
Speaker 7: I got kind of I talk about the issues too much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're very you get very self serious. The lower
Speaker 1: down you are.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we talk about animal rights over and over again.
Speaker 4: When you're down and out there seems no hope at.
Speaker 3: All, but anti animal rights, Chris, I was. I just
Speaker 3: did a show in Raleigh, North Carolina, and it was
Speaker 3: what you were saying made me think about how bad
Speaker 3: it can be out there. And uh and and about
Speaker 3: ten minutes into my show, someone in the back started screaming,
Speaker 3: I'm a cousin. Didn't stops, didn't stop until I addressed
Speaker 3: addressed her, and she, sure enough was an estranged family
Speaker 3: member of mine who I haven't spoken to. And she
Speaker 3: stood up the whole show, waving, waving to me and
Speaker 3: I and I told my mom about it afterwards, and
Speaker 3: she was like, yeah, Chris, was she was? She wearing
Speaker 3: a big hat?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh wow, yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm so sorry about it.
Speaker 3: I mean that it could have been a Facebook message.
Speaker 3: The idea is that the show elderly cousin, elderly cousin
Speaker 3: like her in her seventies.
Speaker 5: Well that's actually you know what, that justifies it a
Speaker 5: tiny bit more.
Speaker 4: But also brings up a lot of questions.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, it.
Speaker 7: Did for me the whole the whole show.
Speaker 3: I was like, how can you? And she didn't stop
Speaker 3: yelling and waving that she was my cousin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when was she gonna? What would have satisfied her?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 7: I don't know twenty three and me, I don't know.
Speaker 5: A huge photo album that you just happened to have
Speaker 5: with too disprover. Yeah here, I've never seen you at
Speaker 5: this birthday.
Speaker 6: It starts happening so often that you just have a
Speaker 6: group of blood people on hand. Okay, to draw, to draw,
Speaker 6: and let's see if I'm related to this tackler.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sneeze into this and then let's run some tests.
Speaker 5: That reminds me of a time the first musical I
Speaker 5: was in in college, like the first play of being
Speaker 5: a theater major or whatever.
Speaker 1: My family of course came.
Speaker 5: Because it was just in sacrament it was like two
Speaker 5: hours away, and my aunt Kathleen stood up the second
Speaker 5: ice Walk came on stage as like the you know,
Speaker 5: I think I held a pole that had a bird
Speaker 5: cage on top of it because it was carnival right
Speaker 5: skipping around.
Speaker 1: She stood up and just started taking.
Speaker 5: Flash pictures of me, and people went insane. People in
Speaker 5: the audience went insane. She got like, you know, attacked
Speaker 5: by ushers and then backstage people are like.
Speaker 1: Oh, is that stupid fucking woman taking pictures. I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's my aunt, that.
Speaker 3: Stupid woman in town.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't know the theater.
Speaker 7: One time I did it.
Speaker 3: I was in a in the Wizard of Oz in
Speaker 3: high school and I and I befriended this very eccentric
Speaker 3: older woman who was a substitute teacher and and she
Speaker 3: came it. Sheutes hot art and she was like in
Speaker 3: her eighties, and she sang she she interrupted our lunch
Speaker 3: in the cafeteria and she sang a song about a
Speaker 3: Songamin Laden and how she how he needs to be
Speaker 3: brought to justice.
Speaker 7: And I was like, I need to be friends with this.
Speaker 1: Lady, like right now.
Speaker 3: And she was like she was an absolute liar, like
Speaker 3: she claimed to like invent like the Vietnam War.
Speaker 7: I just loved this lady. She was the best.
Speaker 3: She was an honorary Green Beret member, and like, call
Speaker 3: my house and try to get me to like go
Speaker 3: to the Amazon with her. But before one show she
Speaker 3: kissed me in the on the ear so loud that
Speaker 3: I like it destabilized, like my equilibrium and like I
Speaker 3: had to sid like sing.
Speaker 4: So she sucked her blue into your ear.
Speaker 6: There, boy, she jostled your equilibrium with her kids.
Speaker 7: It was it was somehow. It was like a lamprey.
Speaker 3: You know, like when you get full coverage on the
Speaker 3: and it was like the lamprey. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: those fish that are stuck to sharks.
Speaker 7: Sure, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the parasite fits, like, right, that's the how do
Speaker 3: you say lamprey? I think lamprey.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I've only thought that word. I've never spoken it.
Speaker 3: I've read it aloud. I respect them. They're so funny.
Speaker 3: They just bite a fish.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like I'm hanging out here, you wor Yeah.
Speaker 6: That's what is on a rock. They do something the
Speaker 6: shark enjoys them. Also, there is some mutualistic symbiosis.
Speaker 4: I believe it.
Speaker 1: It's called symbiosis. That's correct.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I was hoping we talk about symbiosis.
Speaker 6: Yeah, don't get me started on mutual animal relationships.
Speaker 7: That I've seen symbiosis. Advocate in your Twitter bio.
Speaker 1: The fresh tag he hashtags it up.
Speaker 7: Before Fly in the Rhino? Is that the relationship.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I somehow I believe the tsi fly it eats,
Speaker 6: sucks off, it's nourishing blood, but warns the rhino of
Speaker 6: a bird.
Speaker 4: Or maybe that's the dodo. Never mind, you already.
Speaker 3: Thinking of the mosquito and the Italian man. That's that's
Speaker 3: that's my favorite. That's my favorite symbiotic relationship in the
Speaker 3: history of biology, zoology.
Speaker 1: What a combo.
Speaker 7: That's such a beautiful this summer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, only in New York.
Speaker 7: Gonna do it.
Speaker 3: He's gonna do a whole thing on it. Yeah, six parts.
Speaker 5: I like the cartoon little bird and the cartoon crocodile
Speaker 5: getting his teeth cleaned.
Speaker 1: That one's pretty satisfying.
Speaker 4: What's that one? Is that from Flintstones?
Speaker 5: It's probably from the Flintstone. Yeah, there's some kind of like,
Speaker 5: you know, it's a living tap tap tap, but they
Speaker 5: really do it.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 4: It's a living to kill.
Speaker 5: All those jaw birds from the Flintstones were also from Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: They all had Italian accent.
Speaker 6: Well, yeah, if you're a you're a you're if you're
Speaker 6: like a pterodactyl that also is the sink, plumbing and
Speaker 6: food process or you're gonna have kind of a blue
Speaker 6: collar through Springsteen vibe.
Speaker 7: Tight jeans.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tight jeans in the conservative way, which is my favorite. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: like the backwoods gay machismo, which they don't realize is gay.
Speaker 7: I love that. Yeah, that's my That's a.
Speaker 1: Tall wasted jean. Yeah, nice and high up.
Speaker 6: It's super just to avoid just to avoid plumbers crack.
Speaker 6: That's the only their functional high waisted jeans.
Speaker 3: Yees, totally, totally yeah, the problem solver. Yep.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Chris Lumming, what's your favorite like part time or casual
Speaker 5: job that you've ever had, aside for the arts.
Speaker 3: Yes, I was a ski instructor for a while. Really
Speaker 3: where it true? Yeah? Yeah yeah, all throughout high school.
Speaker 3: So my dad, when I was really young, he was like,
Speaker 3: we got to do something about this, and he got
Speaker 3: me this job illegally. I was like, like, somehow got
Speaker 3: this like under the table job for me to work.
Speaker 3: I think I was like eleven or twelve at the
Speaker 3: golf course and I could walk through. I would walk
Speaker 3: like far through the backwoods in my backyard and I
Speaker 3: would work there and I would come back at night.
Speaker 3: This was right around when the Blair Witch Project came out.
Speaker 3: So I was even though I hadn't seen it. You
Speaker 3: don't need to see it to get like that great
Speaker 3: sense of fear of the forest.
Speaker 1: True, Yeah, just witches in the forest, that's.
Speaker 3: All you need. Yeah, and you're certain that she's there
Speaker 3: when you're like I still am when I yeah, she's
Speaker 3: absolutely there. And so that was my first job. And
Speaker 3: then yeah, he just was really insistent that I get
Speaker 3: these jobs. So then at like thirteen, I started teaching
Speaker 3: like one to five year olds how to So it's
Speaker 3: just these like little imbeciles who would like not even
Speaker 3: like on downward slopes, like kind of like on flat terrain.
Speaker 6: So that was and so you're always yelling pizza, pizza exactly,
Speaker 6: or and what for pizza and French fries pizza.
Speaker 3: They updated it because French fries was I don't know
Speaker 3: if they were if this was around the time when yeah,
Speaker 3: they freedom legs now.
Speaker 7: They called it.
Speaker 3: They called it something trees in US, I think, because
Speaker 3: what it was some kind there was some other term.
Speaker 3: But yeah, and I just remember I a child did
Speaker 3: jump off of the chair lift once, but he was fine.
Speaker 4: Under your watch. Yeah, yeah, it was right when we
Speaker 4: got on.
Speaker 6: Yah, absolutely under my encouragement.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then there was always like a really like
Speaker 3: like a child who like got like a growth spurt
Speaker 3: and knew how big they were and how horrible it
Speaker 3: was when they would fall and how high I have
Speaker 3: to pick them up, and they would just be like
Speaker 3: as I was like struggling to pick them up, so
Speaker 3: they would just kind of go down for the attention,
Speaker 3: and I would have to be skating around us like
Speaker 3: lifting like a like a.
Speaker 7: Five foot five.
Speaker 3: Oh, they'd go a little with their body. Yeah, oh
Speaker 3: that's a bad kid, but I got a menace. But yeah,
Speaker 3: that was that was certainly my favorite job, being a
Speaker 3: ski instructor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be fun.
Speaker 5: The one time we got because I'm from northern California,
Speaker 5: so snow, we had to drive to Tahoe to like
Speaker 5: see snow. And so the first time, I think I
Speaker 5: was like eight or nine, and we rented all our
Speaker 5: ski clothes and so everything was like really it was
Speaker 5: very seventy late seventies, so it's like everything was kind
Speaker 5: of stiff and a bunch of people had worn it
Speaker 5: before and it was like the most polyester. And the
Speaker 5: one thing that we got that we actually got to buy.
Speaker 5: My mom let us buy fake Varnais at the Red
Speaker 5: so we had we both my sister and I had
Speaker 5: mirrored sunglasses. So when we were taking ski lessons, I
Speaker 5: wasn't paying attention because I could see my reflection in
Speaker 5: my sister's skis glasses.
Speaker 1: So I just kept watching myself do stuff. But I
Speaker 1: wasn't listening to any instructions.
Speaker 5: So then we had to go ski and I didn't
Speaker 5: know what to do, and I couldn't.
Speaker 3: Stop early screening for a narcissist is what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's a classic test.
Speaker 5: There's no I passed that test with flying colors. It
Speaker 5: was just like, that's the only thing I'm interested in.
Speaker 3: That sounds really style. That sounds almost like the last
Speaker 3: Christmas music video, the way that the.
Speaker 1: Outfit was exactly like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is that is lovely. Yes, I would love
Speaker 3: I would love to be a child and dress that
Speaker 3: cool on the slopes. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: A lot of feathered hair and a lot of cocoa.
Speaker 5: A lot of parents leaving all the kids in the
Speaker 5: cabin and coming back super drunk and having won like
Speaker 5: a bunch of silver dollars and throwing them all in
Speaker 5: the air. There was a lot of you know what
Speaker 5: I mean, it was very like Tahoe, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 7: Oh could you gamble at Tahoe? I'm not familiar with
Speaker 7: with with Tahoe culture.
Speaker 5: It's like basically on the state line, so Nevada you
Speaker 5: can gamble, so right when you cross over.
Speaker 1: Chris, did you ever do this living?
Speaker 6: I lived in Trucky for many years, which is right,
Speaker 6: and yes I've done this.
Speaker 5: It's like party weekend basically, like you go and even
Speaker 5: if you bring the family, especially in the seventies, you're
Speaker 5: just like kids will be back in five hours and
Speaker 5: that the parents just go and casino it up. We
Speaker 5: basically did whatever we wanted and my cousin blasted blinded
Speaker 5: by the light and we all just like freaked out
Speaker 5: in the cabin by ourselves. And then our parents came
Speaker 5: home and they were just fucking just hammered and like
Speaker 5: we won and we all thought we were kind of
Speaker 5: rich and it was just, you know, it was it
Speaker 5: was a great vacation element.
Speaker 3: That sounds like a like a money beautiful to full
Speaker 3: pre nine to eleven memory. Yeah, I can't really imagine
Speaker 3: that guy. That sounds like a casino commercial. You know,
Speaker 3: I probably no one's won like that since I mean
Speaker 3: some silver dollars. Not according to Marongo.
Speaker 6: They by the way, Yeah, I think I think there's
Speaker 6: like a European quality to those. It's a local commercial,
Speaker 6: but it seems like those Mentos ads a little like
Speaker 6: everyone's overreacting and then there's some weird subplot in their eyes.
Speaker 3: It's it's it always always feels like you need to
Speaker 3: have listened to other prior commercials and they're like, and
Speaker 3: now part six it's the Jeni Si I crank that song.
Speaker 3: It's like the best mixed commercial I've ever.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it's up there with the AutoZone rock ballad,
Speaker 6: Yes autos or right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what. It makes you want to total my
Speaker 3: car whenever, right on, right on the right on the Yeah,
Speaker 3: the auto zone.
Speaker 6: It's like, uh, I mean, that's pretty much like the
Speaker 6: Tiger to me. It's it's almost gangerous. It'll get you.
Speaker 6: You're it's on the radio and you can't be ready
Speaker 6: for it.
Speaker 3: And that's such a good point. I think there's a
Speaker 3: lot of songs like that that do encourage reckless driving,
Speaker 3: if not car accidents, like don't Stop Believing? Is it good?
Speaker 3: Well that that makes me never want to whenever that
Speaker 3: would come on, I'd be like, it's time for me
Speaker 3: to leave. La fuck la, I'm not gonna make it,
Speaker 3: and don't stop. And then and then you just you're
Speaker 3: selling that song and you you you reap your lease
Speaker 3: because I don't stop believing this came on.
Speaker 5: Then you're just you're right, I have to do this.
Speaker 5: I have to keep more to show business, that's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to general meetings, just like, yes, more of this,
Speaker 3: not less. Yeah.
Speaker 4: There was always there was some break place.
Speaker 6: They did breaks when I lived in Austin, and they
Speaker 6: would have screeching. I thought it should be so illegal,
Speaker 6: much like sirens in a hip hop song. There was
Speaker 6: just screeching and you thought there was someone I was
Speaker 6: about to hit you from behind. And it's just that
Speaker 6: their way of advertising you need to get your brakes done.
Speaker 3: Yea yeah corse, Yeah, that doesn't seem like it would
Speaker 3: pass whatever the radio clip equivalent of the.
Speaker 1: FDA is now for safe human safety.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like the police on a commercial being.
Speaker 3: Like pull over.
Speaker 5: Or the remember the trend of like and I think
Speaker 5: it would I would say it was the oughts when
Speaker 5: in movies people would be driving along having a super
Speaker 5: like intense conversation and then they would just get t
Speaker 5: boned by another car, so you were it was like
Speaker 5: you were getting into a car accident because the camera
Speaker 5: was in the car, like picking at Julianne Moore and
Speaker 5: then a fucking like train. It's that used to drive
Speaker 5: me insane. Or it's like I don't want to experience
Speaker 5: being in a car accident. That's why I came to
Speaker 5: the movies. Yeah, I always want to be at the movies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally Whiplash did that really well? I think they
Speaker 3: should just go to black and say car crash.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't make me go through it.
Speaker 7: It's really yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or film it from like two hundred yards away,
Speaker 3: get a drone and have it like have a little claymation.
Speaker 3: You don't need to be in the car with Miles
Speaker 3: Teller when he when he gets t boned by the
Speaker 3: U haul.
Speaker 5: No, be a dispassionate bystander that actually doesn't care and
Speaker 5: immediately walks away like that's that's the perfect.
Speaker 6: And then a phone number at the bottom, Yeah, you
Speaker 6: gotta call it to know what we're dealing with.
Speaker 3: I I also sorry, guys, I'm realizing I haven't even
Speaker 3: in our beginning Creamble. I'm a massive fan of both
Speaker 3: of you folks. And Chris, I know we've met in
Speaker 3: the past, but Karen, we have not met. So it
Speaker 3: is lovely. Yeah, yeah, meet you.
Speaker 1: It's so lovely to meet you. I truly am a
Speaker 1: huge fan of yours too.
Speaker 3: Okay, good, that's nice. I realized how rude I think
Speaker 3: these thoughts. I need, I need to express these things,
Speaker 3: and I think that everyone can read my mind at
Speaker 3: all times, and then I forget that. You need to
Speaker 3: be clear, Chris.
Speaker 6: It never You're right to do that because no one
Speaker 6: it doesn't hurt anyone to hear that. It always feels
Speaker 6: good and so thanks for saying that, and you made
Speaker 6: the right decision.
Speaker 1: You've done it again. Another great choice.
Speaker 6: In allyways, even if it's a famous person, you have
Speaker 6: to tell them that you like them.
Speaker 4: No one's like, 'menough already with liking me.
Speaker 3: I tried to do I John Ham came at me
Speaker 3: like in my direction in lax, and I I didn't
Speaker 3: want to be that person, and I went so the
Speaker 3: other direction that I like, I like rolled my eyes
Speaker 3: at him. You overdid it, which is so I feel
Speaker 3: really bad.
Speaker 1: Oh Row sucks.
Speaker 3: Sucks. That guy Actually I really didn't. I was never
Speaker 3: able to make it past the pilot of Madmen for
Speaker 3: some reason. I don't something about that tonally just I
Speaker 3: was so maybe that's just how I feel about it's him.
Speaker 3: Actually no, it's the show. It's not him.
Speaker 6: It's yeah, well that's newsfest. I always thought. And a
Speaker 6: lot of people get upset at me like they were
Speaker 6: a gaffer. But I'm not a big I'm not a
Speaker 6: big Madman guy, but I am a big fan of
Speaker 6: John Hamm and the handful of times I've talked to him.
Speaker 1: I excuse me, stop, everybody stop, thank casey.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, can you turn up the volume on that.
Speaker 7: Let me fix Let me fix my hair a little bit,
Speaker 7: A little I would have worn I would have worn
Speaker 7: a collar.
Speaker 6: If I knew I was going to give you the papers.
Speaker 7: Jesus.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like he's a person that doesn't know what
Speaker 6: he looks like.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, is trying to play against He's.
Speaker 3: Got face blindness, if he's if he's himself about him.
Speaker 6: So I think he is trying to play against but
Speaker 6: he's doing a great job.
Speaker 7: And I just with with with like.
Speaker 3: For me, the visual of like guys opening up like
Speaker 3: a glass canister of alcohol, you know, and about to
Speaker 3: like pour like a little bit of brand. That's when
Speaker 3: I shut down in the same way that and like
Speaker 3: period pieces when people do the hand that hand ceremonial.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I just I don't know why.
Speaker 3: I clock out.
Speaker 1: Can't do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't do it.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 7: I don't know what.
Speaker 5: Maybe because this is what I do when I watch
Speaker 5: almost any piece of entertainment. I either in my mind
Speaker 5: tell myself you're in this and you have to do
Speaker 5: this now, or you're you wrote this in your responsible
Speaker 5: hope for however this goes, and it adds these levels
Speaker 5: of stress to just sitting there watching a thing that
Speaker 5: has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 1: Again, this is narcissist.
Speaker 7: Sorry, Prince said that about music.
Speaker 3: He couldn't listen to any because he'd be like, oh,
Speaker 3: I would have put a snare head there.
Speaker 5: Yes, there's just kind of a constant like is this
Speaker 5: the right decision where it's like it's already on Netflix, it's.
Speaker 1: Fine, like let it, they did it. It's people like it.
Speaker 3: I'm still gonna call.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait till that number comes up at the.
Speaker 4: Yeah tips or comments.
Speaker 3: I think I I have this weird thing where I
Speaker 3: if I make it through a book or a movie,
Speaker 3: I feel like I love it just because I like,
Speaker 3: I'm a really bad critic. If I stop it, I'm like,
Speaker 3: this is that that that is absolute horse pissed. But
Speaker 3: if I want to make it all the way through,
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, this is actually like beautiful, this is
Speaker 3: like a really good piece of Yeah. Always I'm like,
Speaker 3: and I do that in hotels. I'm also if I'm
Speaker 3: if I'm in a hotel, I'll put on like the
Speaker 3: Wayne Brady Show and have a great time. Like I
Speaker 3: lose all for some reason, I lose any cynicism.
Speaker 5: Or your choices are limited, you mean, I mean maybe, yeah,
Speaker 5: most hotels you have like you're lucky if you have
Speaker 5: one hundred channels, like that's the splurge for them, apparently,
Speaker 5: whereas at home we have like five thousand. So then
Speaker 5: you're just like, you're you know, it's Cold Case.
Speaker 4: Files or there is a Forensic Files channel.
Speaker 5: Yeah, in all those and also Law and Order. There's
Speaker 5: always Law and Order in a hotel room.
Speaker 7: Just watch the two.
Speaker 3: Sometimes the TV guide is kind of weirdly soothing. I'm
Speaker 3: sure that's the thing that people do, like.
Speaker 4: It's just read about possible TV watch it.
Speaker 7: These are my choices.
Speaker 5: Also, there's the hotel menu itself, where there's usually like
Speaker 5: a nice piece of music in the background, and it's
Speaker 5: like the spa is open from nine am to I'll
Speaker 5: leave that one on for a while as I try to,
Speaker 5: you know, unwind a little bit, not immediately get into
Speaker 5: a murder show, but like maybe just learn about my environs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and never go to the spa.
Speaker 6: Just get the slight better benefits of the spa from thello.
Speaker 7: Do the spa exist?
Speaker 3: They might just I've never actually seen in a hotel
Speaker 3: or taken advantage of the spot.
Speaker 7: I don't think they might not exist.
Speaker 4: They're just sitting in a room, like why why do we.
Speaker 1: Sell stee me in there? Clammy, no, thank you.
Speaker 7: It's the easiest job in the world.
Speaker 3: You just don't.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you just don't do it.
Speaker 3: That are owning a storage unit building, I think would
Speaker 3: be our storage unit company is probably the you.
Speaker 7: That's gotta be the easiest job in the world.
Speaker 5: Yeah, although wouldn't the curiosity like since basically Silence of
Speaker 5: Lambs where she rolled that thing up up and here
Speaker 5: comes back to I mean boom just waiting in there.
Speaker 5: And also the there was that reality show where it
Speaker 5: was like people bidding on.
Speaker 6: Oh Pickers, storage Pickers.
Speaker 3: It's storage war. The word pickers.
Speaker 4: It's in there, but continue Pickers.
Speaker 1: That's the show American Pickers.
Speaker 4: But different, different, different than what you're talking about.
Speaker 5: For me, I would be so curious as to what
Speaker 5: is in there? Are there people being held in there?
Speaker 7: Is there a completely a.
Speaker 5: Whole, a small house built within the people go in
Speaker 5: and that's there, that's where they live.
Speaker 1: I mean, anything is possible.
Speaker 7: That should be I think a law.
Speaker 3: And this is the only political idea I've ever had
Speaker 3: about enacting change in this world, would be that once
Speaker 3: a year Biden, not Biden himself, but like people go
Speaker 3: door to door and like someone in the government and
Speaker 3: they check everyone's house attic and basement and like backstory
Speaker 3: just to make sure no one's being kept. And whatever
Speaker 3: they find, they find guns, doesn't matter, you, cocaine.
Speaker 7: It's fine. But they're just just looking for people.
Speaker 8: That way, because there's you know, there's there's people, there's
Speaker 8: Ohio especially, there's just people being kept and we got
Speaker 8: to get them right.
Speaker 1: We got it's.
Speaker 5: Those containers that are like containers from a container ship.
Speaker 1: But they're in a backyard.
Speaker 4: Exactly.
Speaker 5: Can we just do a mandatory check of all of
Speaker 5: all land containers.
Speaker 3: I don't care what exotic illegal animals are back there.
Speaker 7: Yeah, what large game? Just whatever?
Speaker 6: People.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm looking for human stuff for make sure there's.
Speaker 3: None of this, none of that, none of that.
Speaker 6: That's someone watching Judge Judy on repeat, that's sitting there.
Speaker 7: The captors always give them Judge Judy to watch.
Speaker 1: Like here here, You'll be fine.
Speaker 7: This is yeah, you can have this.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Actually, Judge Judy in her most recent billboard went with
Speaker 5: a tight bun, which I think is is very unexpected.
Speaker 5: And then the expression on her face combined with the
Speaker 5: type bun, I invite you to look at it and
Speaker 5: just see if that was a good or bad idea
Speaker 5: for season twenty eight of Judge Judy.
Speaker 6: Get to kind of pull up her eyebrows like when
Speaker 6: Madonna went tight. Yes, there's like an intense A lot
Speaker 6: of people can't see what I'm visually doing right now,
Speaker 6: but I'm.
Speaker 3: Chris is tearing his scalp back. Yeah, but his eyes
Speaker 3: are bugging.
Speaker 1: Out, his eyeballs are almost out.
Speaker 7: Of hiss in gorge.
Speaker 6: Yes, just in anticipation of your testimony.
Speaker 3: You look you look like eckhart Toole right now. Actually,
Speaker 3: you look very mindful the way you're doing that, the
Speaker 3: vacant eyes. Yeah he does.
Speaker 5: He yes, it looks like he can see the universe
Speaker 5: kind of all at once in a grain of sand.
Speaker 7: Only pleasure you need is washing your dishes.
Speaker 4: Which I have not done.
Speaker 6: They're off in the distance, but I can see the
Speaker 6: future like that character.
Speaker 4: In Men and Black three.
Speaker 7: Did doudge Judy? Also I read that she got ripped
Speaker 7: like Khumel.
Speaker 1: Also, have you seen that picture? Casey?
Speaker 5: Sorry to boss you around, but will you find the
Speaker 5: picture of.
Speaker 3: Jeff Judy picture Casey, Casey?
Speaker 1: Do it?
Speaker 5: It's in a white she's in a white bikini with
Speaker 5: a white baby.
Speaker 1: Things to cover up, and she's on like a yacht
Speaker 1: in New York cab and you it's her body is unbelievably.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, you're we're about.
Speaker 5: To We're about to get a reveal. I think if
Speaker 5: Katy O'Brien is the podcast producer we think he is,
Speaker 5: you might.
Speaker 6: Be in the bathroom there's stuff can come up, or
Speaker 6: he's just scrolling through many here he did photos guys
Speaker 6: at chat.
Speaker 3: Okay, let's see.
Speaker 1: Can you see that? You have to open that.
Speaker 4: I'm clicking on it.
Speaker 3: I think I have to copy paste sixty minutes.
Speaker 4: Oh you can tell under there she's wearing like a doily.
Speaker 3: Look at that.
Speaker 1: Oh it's borderline boudoir, isn't it.
Speaker 6: And Katie Kirk put it on her website, like, look
Speaker 6: at the dams on this.
Speaker 5: Katie Kirk respects a nice Abatie.
Speaker 3: Is just sharing JJ's nudes on on her home page.
Speaker 3: JJ probably didn't want this to get out. She probably
Speaker 3: just sent it flirtly to Kirk and then Kurk just
Speaker 3: posted it for all to see.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is like she look at that, look at
Speaker 5: that bod. She wanted it to get out.
Speaker 1: She's like, everybody, look, I'm bossy, but I also put
Speaker 1: in the time.
Speaker 6: Yeah, wow, she looks incredible. She just get that sitting
Speaker 6: on the bench.
Speaker 5: But there's also a kind of like because it's a
Speaker 5: white bikini, it looks like she's in like high school
Speaker 5: girl underpants, So it's a it's very.
Speaker 3: It's very like it's like cheap Valentine's Day gifts that
Speaker 3: like a bad boyfriend would give you is what she's wearing.
Speaker 1: It's red shoe diaries.
Speaker 3: For sure.
Speaker 6: I'm so glad you're the one that said high school
Speaker 6: girl underpants and not me.
Speaker 5: That seems like something I would you thought it, I said,
Speaker 5: it's how you do it.
Speaker 6: It's so amazing how we can connect over zoom that way.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Casey, amazing producer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you Casey, and also Karen, thank you for
Speaker 3: pointing that out. That is wow. Yeah, that is really really.
Speaker 6: Something's let's try and continue podcasting with these boners of ours.
Speaker 7: Has she been ripped this whole time?
Speaker 3: Do you think?
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a lot going under that cape.
Speaker 5: I think that's the secret she brings on stage with
Speaker 5: her every time she shoots. It's just like, what you
Speaker 5: don't know is my delts? Are I am packing? This
Speaker 5: is our gun show? Underneath this robe?
Speaker 3: She's got yeah, like a twelve pack.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, j J wow.
Speaker 1: Are you still staring at it? Chris?
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm gonna make it. I'm just gonna make it
Speaker 7: my homepage.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was too blurry for me, but I'll find
Speaker 4: a high reds one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, good, so that you can see that.
Speaker 4: For wallpaper purposes. And I do mean my walls.
Speaker 1: Tile that ship. Get it going to I love coming.
Speaker 3: To Judy jj JJ yeah, j JJ is looking fresh.
Speaker 3: JJ is like up to some nefarious stuff on that boat.
Speaker 3: Yeah she is.
Speaker 5: There's a real Epstein vibe in that picture. And with
Speaker 5: her the wide open arms of like come one, come
Speaker 5: all onto my boat.
Speaker 3: Well, imagine what that would do to your sense of
Speaker 3: like the idea of power, like to play a judge
Speaker 3: like that ontil like she is above the law essentially,
Speaker 3: Like she is kind of like an almost like ancient
Speaker 3: Greek type figure in our society.
Speaker 4: She is.
Speaker 1: She is the a djuwe deicatur.
Speaker 3: Like to think about how many chefs she has on
Speaker 3: that boat.
Speaker 7: She must have so many.
Speaker 5: Chefs and she's like, no, cops make it interesting.
Speaker 4: I just realized she must be insanely wealthy.
Speaker 1: Oh she has God.
Speaker 5: Having started, no brag, having started my career in writing
Speaker 5: for daytime television, I will tell you that Judge Judy
Speaker 5: gets numbers no one else can get. Like everyone else
Speaker 5: is down and trying to get like a three. Sometimes
Speaker 5: Doctor Phil often would get a five. Oprah would was
Speaker 5: always killing it. Judge Judy was like an eight and nine,
Speaker 5: A like numbers that people were just like, she's not
Speaker 5: no one's competing with.
Speaker 3: Her because they just played on loop and like social
Speaker 3: Security offices and stuff.
Speaker 7: Like she has like the DMV, they just have JJ
Speaker 7: on fucking repeat, like.
Speaker 1: Just taking care of business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's and there's no beginning, middle of end.
Speaker 3: You don't you don't like, no one's ever set out. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's got good for her.
Speaker 5: I just made him money. Also, Uh, Chris, do you
Speaker 5: know Chris fair Banks? Do you know Bradford? He works
Speaker 5: at the network. My friend Bradford used to work at
Speaker 5: Ellen with me.
Speaker 1: Bradford, he used to be you might know if you
Speaker 1: saw him, but he used to His first TV job
Speaker 1: was working on Judge Judy, and he kind of worked
Speaker 1: his way up and then he basically became her assistant
Speaker 1: and she used to call him Booby and he's still
Speaker 1: like he talked to her, He's like, she's like, you're
Speaker 1: a grandmaful. Yeah, a lovely, wonderful human being.
Speaker 6: I think when I was young, I was scared of
Speaker 6: her and I thought maybe she was mean, and then
Speaker 6: gradually I'm like, oh, no, she's my favorite person.
Speaker 4: What has happened? Yes, yeah, she's mean to the exact right, people.
Speaker 7: You're saying Judge, Judy is your favorite person.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm lean in that direction now that you
Speaker 4: know what it is.
Speaker 3: It's it's because and this is like a good if
Speaker 3: you're ever going to be a teacher, they say, like
Speaker 3: like you get a lot of like, uh, you feel
Speaker 3: cool if you're like kind of one of the cool
Speaker 3: teachers for like the first day or two, But it's
Speaker 3: really the ones that lay down the law. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: that you respect. I just realized I had a dream
Speaker 3: about one of my high school teachers last night.
Speaker 6: He just had a dab about a dream and hear it,
Speaker 6: Oh my god, and.
Speaker 3: She was she was this this, she was this woman missing.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to say her name, but she used
Speaker 3: to her she had a catchphrase. She would like guide
Speaker 3: us into what she wanted us to say, and then
Speaker 3: she would scream, very good.
Speaker 7: That was, and she would like slam.
Speaker 4: You just had a dream this past evening of her.
Speaker 3: Last night, and it was something she came I was
Speaker 3: like in a like a home depot or something, and
Speaker 3: she came up in a kimono and she was like
Speaker 3: clearly fucked up and she was saying something kind of
Speaker 3: like wandering and she said something about like something about
Speaker 3: like a vibrator or something, and she walked by me,
Speaker 3: and I felt so fucked up about it. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: was like she was going to go douce, something like
Speaker 3: no vibrator in the world is powerful enough for like
Speaker 3: the hell going through or or something of that.
Speaker 6: First of all, you're in the wrong store, yeah, depot.
Speaker 7: Well no, maybe maybe that's just maybe the right.
Speaker 1: She's going next level.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, going to the lumber section or something.
Speaker 5: She just to get one of those, Yeah, one of
Speaker 5: those really industrial strength kind of plugs to go.
Speaker 7: It's a giant washing machine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to put herself on tumbles R. Getting inside. There
Speaker 3: we go.
Speaker 1: My teacher, what what subject did she teach?
Speaker 4: And English?
Speaker 3: I keep all the saying yeah, and she yeah, she
Speaker 3: really disliked me. She thought I was like trying to
Speaker 3: start like an uprising or something, and she was. But
Speaker 3: she she didn't like me, But she was even crueler
Speaker 3: to my friends. She at least had some respect for me,
Speaker 3: but she had less respect for people who associated with me.
Speaker 3: She would give she would at least give me like
Speaker 3: a big pleasant and give them one time in class
Speaker 3: she was like, what happened, and she was like, you know,
Speaker 3: when we all know what happens in this in this chapter,
Speaker 3: we were supposed to be reading Oedipus and nobody had
Speaker 3: read it, and I couldn't handle the awkwardness. So I
Speaker 3: just said, Kreon dies and he did not die. I
Speaker 3: don't I don't think he dies at all, and that,
Speaker 3: and from there on out it was just she hated
Speaker 3: your hated me.
Speaker 5: Wait, will you paint us a little bit of a
Speaker 5: picture of high school Chris Flemming?
Speaker 1: Just just walk us.
Speaker 5: Through what you were, what your strengths were, what maybe
Speaker 5: your weaknesses were.
Speaker 1: Did you really have like did you have an entourage
Speaker 1: of evil doers?
Speaker 3: I did? Yeah, well I have all these friends and
Speaker 3: I'm still very close with them, and they're all they're
Speaker 3: all very small, and they're all the same exact height,
Speaker 3: and a lot of us were also named Chris.
Speaker 7: All we all kind of.
Speaker 6: You're describing everyone's five eight everyone. The four of my
Speaker 6: best friends are named Chris.
Speaker 3: You yeah, yeah, continued I was pretty much the same,
Speaker 3: except I had like a Mary Martin type bob cut,
Speaker 3: and my hair was just a little bit more like this,
Speaker 3: you know, it was just higher up and yeah, I
Speaker 3: was pretty much the same. I I was class president
Speaker 3: for a while, but then I got housted because they
Speaker 3: realized I was as a figurehead leader and I wasn't
Speaker 3: doing it. And I did spend one person's class dues
Speaker 3: on gas money once when I was really low on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and yeah, this is politics.
Speaker 3: This is politics, right, Yeah, and.
Speaker 7: Yeah I was. I was into theater. I somehow I.
Speaker 3: Think our school really it was all flipped so like
Speaker 3: there's a big sinister dog outside. I'm sorry, Yeah it was.
Speaker 3: It was like theater was like kind of the like
Speaker 3: the cool like I don't know if it was a
Speaker 3: cool thing, but it was like accepted in a way that.
Speaker 6: The richest, most beautiful, coolest, most popular people in my
Speaker 6: high school were thesbians and put in the hours to
Speaker 6: be called thesbians. I was just in plays with them.
Speaker 6: I'm not going to hang out after school. I wanted
Speaker 6: to skateboard.
Speaker 7: But you're you said that you did Shakespeare.
Speaker 3: Did you do Shakespeare in the park?
Speaker 4: No, I just know of it.
Speaker 6: It's a big, big scene, big scene in Boise.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I know some of those people too. I'm just always
Speaker 6: theater adjacent.
Speaker 7: Are you California too?
Speaker 3: Do you grow up in California And I didn't grow
Speaker 3: up in California.
Speaker 6: Were born in Monterey, But I grew up in Montana.
Speaker 3: Oh hell yeah, yeah yeah, so miss I don't know.
Speaker 3: I a man. I worked at a camp.
Speaker 7: Uh.
Speaker 3: This guy looked like Teddy Roosevelt was in charge of
Speaker 3: the camp and he and he gave me. We didn't
Speaker 3: know each other and kind of a camp. It was
Speaker 3: camp Hole in the Wall. Sorry, it wasn't in Montana.
Speaker 3: It was called Hole in the Wall game camp. And
Speaker 3: it was in Connecticut and it was it was the
Speaker 3: pall movement thing. And my I like worked there for
Speaker 3: two weeks because like my friend whatever, and I was
Speaker 3: a driver. I drove this big van around and the
Speaker 3: guy he was like, I got my check at the
Speaker 3: end of it, and he said, Chris, if shit ever
Speaker 3: hits the fan, I think he said, when shit hits
Speaker 3: the phone, it's inevitable. Yeah, and he rolled out of him.
Speaker 3: I made the map was already there. Maybe there wasn't
Speaker 3: a map, but I remember I think he pointed and
Speaker 3: he said go here, and he told me to go
Speaker 3: to Missoula, Montana.
Speaker 4: Wait, were you in a home depot during this interaction.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this isn't see it, is it? In his defense,
Speaker 6: he's correct. I mean it's the fourth largest state. There's
Speaker 6: not even a million people in it. If you need
Speaker 6: to hide or just enjoy scenery and be kind and
Speaker 6: enjoy fishing, not everyone. There's a murderer, Ted Kazinski and
Speaker 6: some other bad apples kind of tainted an otherwise sweet state.
Speaker 7: Kazinsky was monte.
Speaker 3: I thought Kazinsky he has such Washington vibes, doesn't it.
Speaker 6: Know, maybe for getting his doctorate or something. I know
Speaker 6: he had some Ivy League background, but no, he's settled
Speaker 6: in Lincoln, Montana. That's where his cabin was. Where he
Speaker 6: did package a lot of fertilizer and nail based bombs.
Speaker 1: Really some of the toughest bombs.
Speaker 4: But if you read his manifesto, there's really some good
Speaker 4: ideas in there.
Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. I've never read it, but yeah, the
Speaker 3: way that you were talking about him, it does sound
Speaker 3: like you are exactly it. Yeah.
Speaker 6: I like the hoodie and aviator Look, sorry he was.
Speaker 1: He was actually a visionary with that because truly how.
Speaker 4: Yle icon they were doing that on runways and stuff.
Speaker 5: And the beard which is big now yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, well, but there are a lot of people like.
Speaker 3: That, I suppose, but can I just.
Speaker 1: Ask really quick?
Speaker 5: It was the idea of like if you if if
Speaker 5: the ship goes down in terms of survivalism kind of thing.
Speaker 3: Oh. He was basically like it was basically like I
Speaker 3: will have like I will have a beautiful life in Missoulah.
Speaker 3: It was like that.
Speaker 7: It was that kind of a thing. It was a
Speaker 7: back yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like if you need a place like a haven,
Speaker 3: go to Missoula. And I've never been, but I always
Speaker 3: have this. It's nice to have this kind of not
Speaker 3: white whale, but like, well yeah, just this idea.
Speaker 1: That green whale agreed, dang green.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that Johndice whale.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, hump back with them with the pancrains deficiency
Speaker 3: whale in my life?
Speaker 1: Is that a whale on pills?
Speaker 3: M Yeah.
Speaker 6: I can say without hesitation that anyone, if you go
Speaker 6: to the right place and I'll tell you where to go,
Speaker 6: you will have a wonderful experience and meet nice people.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I need I need to believe it's great.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Do you guys have like that kind of.
Speaker 3: Thing where it's like like if if nothing works out,
Speaker 3: it's like if everything falls apart, not even like apocalyptically,
Speaker 3: but just like then, Okay, I got the emergency duffel,
Speaker 3: I'm tallassi that kind of thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I always tell people when they come to
Speaker 5: my house and they don't like it because I hear's
Speaker 5: how I started. I just moved into this house like now,
Speaker 5: I think it's three years ago. And when you know,
Speaker 5: they have to do all the inspections, right, so they're like,
Speaker 5: you don't have termites or you do have bloody blue
Speaker 5: and there's the land inspector the geologist, I guess, of course.
Speaker 5: And when the geologist rolled his map out, first of all,
Speaker 5: I'm not kidding. My my real estate agent is my
Speaker 5: cousin Pete, and he my cousin Pete's like this guy.
Speaker 5: People were taking pictures of this man showing me the
Speaker 5: land survey because apparently he was like a legend in
Speaker 5: the business. And I like me getting this guy as
Speaker 5: my land surveyor was a big deal because he was
Speaker 5: about to retire. I was just like, this was such
Speaker 5: a good I don't know, and they all, like all
Speaker 5: of these real estate agents knew him and loved him,
Speaker 5: so they were like literally a picture of like him
Speaker 5: pointing to things to me on the survey, like I'm
Speaker 5: gonna hang it up, like I'm I live at Dantana's
Speaker 5: and it's like, here's all the famous people that helped
Speaker 5: me inspect this. But there was photosophers well no, no,
Speaker 5: just like people my cousin and the other real estate
Speaker 5: agents were literally taking pictures.
Speaker 1: It's like this might be the last land survey.
Speaker 6: He explained, he always finds dinosaur bones under your house treasure.
Speaker 5: There's there's a little box of treasure of dinosaur bones.
Speaker 5: Very about to go on, but he told me my
Speaker 5: like how lucky I was because I live on bedrock,
Speaker 5: and he was just he was just going off about
Speaker 5: how amazing that is in La because like so when
Speaker 5: earthcake quakes hit here, I honestly don't feel them, and
Speaker 5: nothing shakes at this house because it's bedrock, which isn't
Speaker 5: easy to access, I guess. So it was like this
Speaker 5: big it was like this big presentation that then I
Speaker 5: of course started immediately bragging to everyone that came to
Speaker 5: my house of like it's all bedrock, by the way.
Speaker 1: All bedrock.
Speaker 5: Yeah, jump around to try it up, try to shake
Speaker 5: anything in his house, which then led me to conversationally, Hey,
Speaker 5: if anything goes down, let's meet at the Hollywood Bowl.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I started say that to people.
Speaker 5: It was almost in that idea of like, if the
Speaker 5: ship goes down, you can come up here earthquake wise,
Speaker 5: But if it's like civil war type of, you know,
Speaker 5: all of a sudden mass violence and things are bad,
Speaker 5: let's meet at the like, grab guns and meet at
Speaker 5: the Hollywood Bowl.
Speaker 3: Yet Simon's playing Yeah, yeah, not at the schedule.
Speaker 1: Let's get those garlic fries.
Speaker 4: Also Costello without bird backrack.
Speaker 6: When I was living in Venice, it's the opposite. It's
Speaker 6: like a marsh land where they should not have built
Speaker 6: anything the bad sin.
Speaker 4: Maybe as you leave the beach.
Speaker 6: You're going downhill, like on Washington Boulevard.
Speaker 3: Where I lived.
Speaker 4: That's scary if there's a tsunami.
Speaker 6: So I was always worried about an earthquake causing a
Speaker 6: wave from a Dwayne Rock Johnson movie to come. And
Speaker 6: so my roommate and I our plan was to as
Speaker 6: soon as the alarm, I'm assuming there's a horn.
Speaker 7: Run across a small trumpet.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, just a guy playing taps preemptively.
Speaker 3: Playing Mambo number five.
Speaker 4: It's a little bit of Laura in my life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yet out your Mama number five on the bugle,
Speaker 3: run on the English horn.
Speaker 6: Just for twenty hours, femas there and the song doesn't stop.
Speaker 6: There is a hotel across the street with a helicopter
Speaker 6: pad on top, and all I would have to do
Speaker 6: as people are panicking and trying to get away in
Speaker 6: their cars with their belongings and their children, I would
Speaker 6: just run to the hotel and go to the top floor.
Speaker 6: And I still think it's a good idea. I'd be
Speaker 6: on the tenth story of a building with a helicopter pad. Great,
Speaker 6: it's the only good plan I have. And now I
Speaker 6: don't live over there, and I don't know what I
Speaker 6: guess I'll go to your bedrock house night.
Speaker 7: Now you've reached the plan.
Speaker 3: Now everyone's going to do that any dine our listeners
Speaker 3: are going to be on the on the helipad.
Speaker 5: Yeah, dinosaurs are going to get up on the tenth
Speaker 5: floor and the crowd the area. They're going to grab
Speaker 5: the helicopter leg that they always do and pull it down.
Speaker 1: Don't do it, let us escape.
Speaker 3: He's desperate. As you think you could make it if
Speaker 3: you did grab it.
Speaker 7: You think you could have the core strength to get up?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I think about that all the time, Chris.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the answer is, no.
Speaker 4: We got them, let's get out.
Speaker 3: I just consciously let go. My fingers are weak. I
Speaker 3: always think about that, like being on an airplane and
Speaker 3: if like for some horrible reason, I got put like
Speaker 3: on the wing. It's like this weird invasive thought I have,
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I think, since Tom Cruise did that
Speaker 3: really thing, I think. I think it's like this, I imagine
Speaker 3: myself and how much that must hurt, because it's just.
Speaker 5: The top joint of your fingers that's doing all those
Speaker 5: are doing all the work.
Speaker 6: Way up here. Yeah, he was wedging it in the
Speaker 6: door gap. That's only like down to the first knuckle.
Speaker 7: He was just free soloing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, harness, no chalk.
Speaker 6: They had him fly to Phoenix and he finally just
Speaker 6: let go and ran on the tarmac.
Speaker 4: That's what I've heard.
Speaker 5: Have you seen the there's this true story of something
Speaker 5: happening on a plane and the pilot the and it's
Speaker 5: a re enactment photo. But I saw it and I
Speaker 5: didn't know it was a reenactment, so I thought I
Speaker 5: saw a photo of it really happening, which is an
Speaker 5: insanely stupid of me.
Speaker 7: I totally, I totally get that.
Speaker 5: It proves like I did not grow up with the Internet.
Speaker 5: It came in my twenties when I wasn't paying attention,
Speaker 5: so stuff like, I'll fall for pretty much anything, totally.
Speaker 5: But but it's something happened with the windshield on a
Speaker 5: plane and the co pilot got sucked out and was
Speaker 5: like holding on while they were trying to land this
Speaker 5: plane with one window open on the front.
Speaker 3: You have to see it.
Speaker 7: Wait, wait, did this actually happen or didn't It.
Speaker 1: Happened in real life, But the picture I saw was
Speaker 1: from like a air air Disasters special that was, you know,
Speaker 1: on one of those channels on Sunday night.
Speaker 7: Yes, this was.
Speaker 1: This isn't going anywhere, and this is the end.
Speaker 3: A guy, A guy, wait, a guy got the pilot
Speaker 3: got he opened the window to like spit and then
Speaker 3: he got sucked out.
Speaker 4: This gum has no flavor.
Speaker 1: Fucking fruit stripe.
Speaker 3: Why did it last more than ten seconds of flavor?
Speaker 1: We keep telling you complaints don't work this way.
Speaker 5: No, it's something like the front windscreen cracked on the
Speaker 5: right side from the picture that's from a TV show,
Speaker 5: So it was it almost was like it the vacuum
Speaker 5: the crack created then a pulling thing, and then because
Speaker 5: they were fifty thousand feet in the air, they're trying
Speaker 5: to land and that like halfway out and holding on
Speaker 5: to something out there just so that he doesn't get
Speaker 5: sucked out all the way and thrown there.
Speaker 3: Seems to be a uh no, one's really arrived at
Speaker 3: like a consensus in cinema whether or not like a
Speaker 3: hole in a plane sucks people, and every other movie
Speaker 3: the plane's fine. Everyone's kind of hanging out and like
Speaker 3: it's like a little breeze.
Speaker 6: Every other it's a strong fan. But in other movies
Speaker 6: you're in outer space.
Speaker 7: You're done.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I don't think the scientists actually know what
Speaker 3: would happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they've never actually done it.
Speaker 1: All they know is that when the when the event happens,
Speaker 1: there will be a ship ton of paperwork flying around.
Speaker 1: Suddenly there's there's loose paper everywhere. Who brought all these
Speaker 1: files machines that is flying around My documents.
Speaker 4: That I keep loosely in an open backpack.
Speaker 3: No, No, I think on your last podcast you were
Speaker 3: talking about how you and you just you just kind
Speaker 3: of touched on it really really briefly about how like
Speaker 3: you guys don't like flying because you soak up everyone's energy.
Speaker 3: I do that before shows. I can't handle even dealing
Speaker 3: with sound guys. It'll if I meet because every sound
Speaker 3: person and every theater is just it's mad, abhorrent.
Speaker 1: They're so mad.
Speaker 3: The vibe right, yeah, and the vibe I really take
Speaker 3: that on and it's so hard to come back from that.
Speaker 3: It's so hard to then bring joy after you meet
Speaker 3: a sound person.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that, especially with comedy.
Speaker 5: It's just like when you have bad vibes where you're like, sorry,
Speaker 5: are we already in a fight? And I just didn't.
Speaker 5: I wasn't there for the beginning of the fight. What's
Speaker 5: going on? And then it's like, ladies and gentlemen, Chris,
Speaker 5: You're just like, oh cool, I'm going to go do
Speaker 5: this thing that shoots pretty hard anyway.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I have to overcome this negative.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's it goes both ways.
Speaker 6: There was when I did Conan there I had this
Speaker 6: cardigan sweater and I'm like, this is too much, it's
Speaker 6: too hot and it looks dumb, and I was like,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna take the sweater off. And the guy I
Speaker 6: hadn't talked to him yet, he just it was his
Speaker 6: job to open the curtain. Wants you hear your name?
Speaker 6: And he said, you do not take that sweater off.
Speaker 6: It looks terrific.
Speaker 7: And then I went out.
Speaker 6: I felt he instilled me with so much confidence. I like,
Speaker 6: fucked up my first joke.
Speaker 3: I hate that guy. I look great.
Speaker 4: Wait, what's my jokes? Damn your curtain?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 3: If you look good, you don't have to be funny
Speaker 3: once you Once you kind of hit that aesthetic, it's
Speaker 3: actually kind of a detriment to be funny because it's like,
Speaker 3: why are you Why are you.
Speaker 7: Feeling the need to be funny?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and we will name names now of examples of this.
Speaker 1: Modeles model.
Speaker 4: Yeah, specific comedians that are handsome.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Oh, I never liked that.
Speaker 3: And they usually perform at the laugh Factory and they're
Speaker 3: always gorgeous, if not anti VACX. Yeah.
Speaker 6: When's the last time any of us were at the
Speaker 6: laugh Factory? When I first moved here, that's where you
Speaker 6: went to be seen. Really, Yeah, I was like for
Speaker 6: showcases and things, and I've never I haven't been.
Speaker 1: I find those clubs, like I just was already so
Speaker 1: worried about everything that, like I I was there to
Speaker 1: attract a bad vibe. I think I was like a
Speaker 1: magnet for it, you know, I was looking for the problem.
Speaker 1: Then I would just be like, well, no, I.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, No, I just gotta go.
Speaker 1: I never wanted to do it in the first place.
Speaker 1: What was I doing?
Speaker 4: Are you, Chris?
Speaker 6: I like fully back on the road, You're doing shows
Speaker 6: like coming like this week, you're going to You're like
Speaker 6: in Minneapolis and you're going, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: You're and are you?
Speaker 6: I love how you're incorporating like videos that you've done
Speaker 6: and you do stand up and you're showing those video
Speaker 6: and have like me, how do you travel with a band?
Speaker 6: How are you doing all of this?
Speaker 7: I did, and then I realized it was sorry that
Speaker 7: dog is.
Speaker 3: It's a vicious animal, but do you hear it? It
Speaker 3: is clearly a chunkyard dog. That propper that is like
Speaker 3: a dog in a music video. Wait, wait, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean? I actually I'm safer in here. Okay,
Speaker 3: so uh yeah. I did tour with the band for
Speaker 3: a while, but that that was pre pandemic, and I
Speaker 3: think I was going through some stuff, you know, trying
Speaker 3: to feel bigger than I was.
Speaker 6: I thought I was going to do reggae. I have
Speaker 6: a reggae band, come with me and do reggae songs.
Speaker 3: I understand it's a weird. Right around twenty nineteen, my
Speaker 3: I was getting my sense of the confidence. It was
Speaker 3: a little too lie, it was. It was a little dangerous.
Speaker 3: I was. I was definitely careening towards some weird, weird
Speaker 3: emotional territory. But now now it's just so. My goal
Speaker 3: with this was to try to, like I almost strip
Speaker 3: it down more and try to do less with like
Speaker 3: multimedia and just see, like, let's see if I can
Speaker 3: just do it just myself. Yeah, and it's going it's
Speaker 3: going pretty well. Yeah.
Speaker 6: I would love to do you still project at least
Speaker 6: visuals like I do idea.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I like I have a whole bit with a
Speaker 7: song about how.
Speaker 3: Durabils you can get a gurbil for the cost of raspberries,
Speaker 3: and it's uh, it's this whole this whole music video
Speaker 3: with like a bunch of kind of it's like in
Speaker 3: a European club and people.
Speaker 7: Kind of dancing in the bat. Yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like a like an hour twenty and then
Speaker 3: all of a sudden that it's like and if people
Speaker 3: are like, it kind of gives people a vertigo because
Speaker 3: it's there.
Speaker 7: Hasn't been a song or dance until that.
Speaker 1: But and is that when you.
Speaker 5: You leave the stage and then go sip some expensive
Speaker 5: water at the side of the stage while that video plays.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a I have a vas uh, I
Speaker 3: have I have a double voss by blood bag. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it's it just it goes in just right into
Speaker 3: my shoulder going to the collar bonk. I just yeah,
Speaker 3: it's painful, but it's expensive and it's a good look.
Speaker 4: Has to get into that marrow.
Speaker 3: You gotta get it right in the mirror. You gotta hydrate.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I drank a lot at this festival this past week,
Speaker 6: and I the next day there was a tent that
Speaker 6: just did vitem be shots, like an actual needle in
Speaker 6: the arm. But I've heard it's like a luxurious hangover thing.
Speaker 6: Usually I think they do a prolonged drip. But that
Speaker 6: was like two hundred bucks. I'm like, give me the
Speaker 6: twenty dollars to be shot.
Speaker 1: We use the needle I did. You can do the
Speaker 1: old one who drop.
Speaker 3: It out of that.
Speaker 6: I'm so scared that they did what they give that to,
Speaker 6: like Beyonce before everything right, isn't that like what they
Speaker 6: were like need to.
Speaker 4: It was recommended to me.
Speaker 6: It messed me up and I was sick all day
Speaker 6: and my arm hurt like I just got the COVID scht.
Speaker 4: I know, people looked at me like.
Speaker 6: I did something wrong, but I swear I was not
Speaker 6: hydrated hydrated, And then I added to that, I'm like,
Speaker 6: maybe I just need some caffeine. And so I had
Speaker 6: two back to back five hour energy those trucker shots.
Speaker 4: That's described.
Speaker 1: B twelve.
Speaker 4: I'm not kidding.
Speaker 6: I had mid set, a sudden like panic attack and
Speaker 6: it's in my heart was racing, and I know I'm
Speaker 6: sorry to the elevation tent or whoever gave me that shot.
Speaker 6: I'm not talking smack. I'm sure it works for a
Speaker 6: lot of people, but it made me. I had a
Speaker 6: very I really did have a panic attack, and I think.
Speaker 3: Well, I think the five hour energy drinks, that's mostly
Speaker 3: what it was. You don't mashed potatoes after that, you'd
Speaker 3: have at least at least a can of mashed potatoes
Speaker 3: per five hour energy. Also, yes, did not keep me
Speaker 3: you are. Yeah, you're just gonna wander the property all night.
Speaker 5: Serving blowing eyes just like B twelve eyes, like you
Speaker 5: can see through people's skin.
Speaker 3: You're gonna be up all night googling where Calbernette went
Speaker 3: to college. If you're not careful with that stuff, i'mus,
Speaker 3: I'm curious. Yeah, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: This is really the real shot in my curious vein.
Speaker 4: Yeah, always leads to Carol Burnett.
Speaker 3: The drip thing. My friend we went on like a
Speaker 3: we used to in pre pandemic times. I threw a
Speaker 3: lot of bachelorette parties and then I would also take
Speaker 3: I would throw a not bachelor party, but some We
Speaker 3: would go out a lot, and my friend tried to
Speaker 3: get like his friend, I think he got commissioned for
Speaker 3: one of those companies where like it's like, yeah, man,
Speaker 3: if you hook yourself up to the like you know,
Speaker 3: we gotta we gotta sign up, which is like so
Speaker 3: perverted to sign to before you go on a bender
Speaker 3: to then be like, Okay, I'm gonna go so hard
Speaker 3: that tomorrow I'm gonna get this recovery planning me yeah,
Speaker 3: plan the poisoning.
Speaker 1: I'm going to hire a nurse tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I never tried it, though it must feel great.
Speaker 3: I mean, because when you're in oh my god, I
Speaker 3: do want to hangover. Something about a hangover ending, like
Speaker 3: the like the dopey serenity that you feel as you're
Speaker 3: coming to the next like that that day after, I think,
Speaker 3: is I feel so creative in a weird way and
Speaker 3: like I have a new lease on life and it's
Speaker 3: kind of a beautiful. Not to recommend being hungover, but
Speaker 3: there is there is some beauty to go in through that.
Speaker 4: I did agree. I feel a little bit of that.
Speaker 6: But that doesn't necessarily translate to being a vibrant live performer. No, no, no,
Speaker 6: that should have been a writing evening, not a get
Speaker 6: on stage a lot. Yeah, I'm still upset that I
Speaker 6: got that shot.
Speaker 5: Anyway, What did you did you in your panic attack?
Speaker 5: Did you adjust and then just like finish your joke
Speaker 5: and leave? How did you adapt?
Speaker 6: I don't think anyone would know it was happening, except
Speaker 6: if my sister or you, or like my dad had
Speaker 6: been watching that something had happened. Yeah, I just kind
Speaker 6: of you doctors started laughing, doctor or the nurse or
Speaker 6: a doctor, yeah, yeah, or the guy that did it
Speaker 6: to me, the needleman, the used needleman.
Speaker 7: Who poisoned you.
Speaker 3: He's like pusher man.
Speaker 4: Yes, happens every other.
Speaker 7: I gotta get out.
Speaker 1: You'll be back, yeah, he's like, you'll be back.
Speaker 3: You're not performing after this first? Yes?
Speaker 6: What take off that band aid and he starts sucking
Speaker 6: it out of me like a snake bite.
Speaker 7: Drawn circles on it with a sharpie on your leg.
Speaker 1: One hour, keep your eye on this spot.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 5: I used to love the breakfast on a hungover morning
Speaker 5: and when you were waiting in line to go get
Speaker 5: that breakfast like this, I'm thinking of when I lived
Speaker 5: in San Francisco, so you would have to go and
Speaker 5: like stand in the you know, lower hate in the sun,
Speaker 5: like standing there waiting to get your dumb banana pancakes
Speaker 5: where the bananas were not inside. You like wait an
Speaker 5: hour and a half and then they're just piled on
Speaker 5: the outside. Yeah, just like it's pancakes. That's pancakes with
Speaker 5: slice bananas.
Speaker 7: But that's so messed up.
Speaker 5: It's really fuck That happened one time and I was
Speaker 5: just like I'm too hungover to complain, But like you
Speaker 5: did me wrong by calling these banana pancakes banana plus
Speaker 5: b Yeah, oh I missed the very detailed plus side.
Speaker 1: It's important. I just wasn't paying attend.
Speaker 3: It's a collab.
Speaker 1: Kind they came together on this, but they didn't blent.
Speaker 5: But I used to love getting a water and orange juice,
Speaker 5: a coffee, and and maybe even a fourth thing if
Speaker 5: they had a smoothie of some kind indoor, what hot chocolate?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 6: Just I love to have a little in a ray
Speaker 6: a sip of each. Yeah, I'm not going to finish
Speaker 6: any of these. Don't laugh, but I want seven beverages.
Speaker 5: So yeah, nurse slowly nurse myself back to life through beverages.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful.
Speaker 6: It's a beautiful feeling. And I had that exact experience.
Speaker 6: It's like you were there.
Speaker 3: It's scary when water tastes bad, That's that's what That's
Speaker 3: what freaks me out during a hangover, when I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, are you drinking out that the tap?
Speaker 3: And you know, you know, like you know, when maybe
Speaker 3: I just have such a sweet tooth. Also that if
Speaker 3: I'm ever down emotionally, or even even if I'm not,
Speaker 3: I just need something I always require like it's like
Speaker 3: a sweet, like a nectar, and so I'll always if
Speaker 3: I'm hungover, Like maybe I'm just trained to want to
Speaker 3: drink Gator eight or something, you know, some kind of
Speaker 3: middle school sports beverage, maybe as a self there more
Speaker 3: than anything, but water feels like poison to me sometimes
Speaker 3: after after I've been drinking. I think I also drink
Speaker 3: a lot of like Margarita's. You clearly just hung over
Speaker 3: from the hummingbird food that I And that's I think
Speaker 3: that's the issue. I don't think I don't think I
Speaker 3: can consume much alcohol. I think it's just yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't think they even serve me alcohol. I think people
Speaker 3: take one look at me. It's like when I go
Speaker 3: to the doctor, they don't give you the do they
Speaker 3: give me the nurse practitioner.
Speaker 7: Like when I go to the bar, they don't. They
Speaker 7: don't give me.
Speaker 3: They don't give me the booze they give me just
Speaker 3: they don't for margarita mix.
Speaker 7: And then it's not bus yeah.
Speaker 1: Fun.
Speaker 4: This isn't even the bartender.
Speaker 3: He's a bar back.
Speaker 4: He usually washes glasses, bottoms up.
Speaker 7: I'm out of my mind.
Speaker 5: Yeah, person Waite saying that you're you have a sweet tooth?
Speaker 5: What is your Do you want to talk about your
Speaker 5: number one candy as a way to as a way
Speaker 5: to wrap down probably one of the greatest conversations of
Speaker 5: all time.
Speaker 3: I think I just got that notification on my phone.
Speaker 3: This is one of the greatest guys. You are a
Speaker 3: part of one of the greatest conversations of all time.
Speaker 6: Wait, how is this a notification? Not about the oscars?
Speaker 6: Just let's not talk about it.
Speaker 3: Let's not.
Speaker 6: We were all traumatized. We saw the memes fab Candy go.
Speaker 3: I was hoping that Anthony Hopkins would roast the ship
Speaker 3: out of Jada after when he went up to give
Speaker 3: the best picture.
Speaker 5: Yep, could have been could have been amazing that there
Speaker 5: were a lot of comedy opportunities that everyone was too
Speaker 5: aghast to exploit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Jada Pinkett is five foot zero. My favorite m
Speaker 3: my wife is much taller than Jada Pinkett Smith. That's
Speaker 3: the height of a JV football player.
Speaker 4: Yeah, real specific.
Speaker 3: Jada Pinkett Smith has a Facebook TV show that's boring.
Speaker 3: I watched better TV show and well, Smith's my fever.
Speaker 1: Strict repete Neango's trying the background.
Speaker 3: Like, no, yeah, let me add them. Let me. For
Speaker 3: some reason, Hopkins is just like a roast battle Master.
Speaker 3: Oda Pinkett a hyphenated name. I would never hyphenate my
Speaker 3: wife name, but I'm a real treada Pinkett. Smith was
Speaker 3: friends with Tupac Shakr and now she's friends with Will Small.
Speaker 3: She's dating Will Smith. That must be tough, and everyone's
Speaker 3: like call it quinnted.
Speaker 7: Cracking his knuckles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my favorite candy is probably dots.
Speaker 7: I like dots the most. Really, I'm with you there.
Speaker 1: I love dots.
Speaker 5: Is my dots is my movie candy. If I'm not
Speaker 5: doing chocolate, I really enjoyed.
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 7: What kind of chocolate do you do in the movie.
Speaker 1: Well, I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 5: What I do is I open up a thing of
Speaker 5: playing Eminem's and throw it into the fucking thing of popcorn.
Speaker 3: That's what they did in Whips, which we were talking
Speaker 3: about earlier.
Speaker 7: I've never seen that book.
Speaker 5: The thing about it is, if you have, if you're
Speaker 5: at a good movie theater, that popcorn is hot when
Speaker 5: you get your fucking handful and throw it in that
Speaker 5: they're melted but inside the shell.
Speaker 1: So it's like this little ice worats.
Speaker 3: It's inside Mosquito and Amber, I'm with you, Magical Island, Yeah,
Speaker 3: and the future paleobiologists are going to try to extract
Speaker 3: the chocolate, yeah, to recreate Wow. That's and you said
Speaker 3: earlier that used to have a buffet of drinks to
Speaker 3: soothe your hangovers. And I was thinking, I could not
Speaker 3: be more different. I can only do one thing at
Speaker 3: a time. I hate mixing anything. I will just do
Speaker 3: one thing and then I will devour it and then
Speaker 3: maybe an hour later I can try something else. So
Speaker 3: they do have mixing the popcorn with a candy.
Speaker 6: It sounds bad and I've experienced that they did that
Speaker 6: once at Steve Allen Theater that it's there for Ron
Speaker 6: Lynch's thing, and this kid grabbed a butterfinger bar opened
Speaker 6: it creamp he no, he crunched it up while it
Speaker 6: was still wrapped and opened the popcorn and just kind
Speaker 6: of dumped the trapnel in there and shook it up.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 6: As if it's going to be coating each piece of
Speaker 6: popcorn snack amateur lunatic white, it's just going to be melted.
Speaker 6: And in the corner it's melted.
Speaker 1: That's you brought your own roll of paper towels because
Speaker 1: you're screwed.
Speaker 6: It was on every piece, evenly coated, a perfect combination
Speaker 6: of salty and sweet. I this was, oh my god,
Speaker 6: it worked. Oh I was like to this day. And
Speaker 6: then he just was off into the night.
Speaker 7: You didn't even get. You didn't even get.
Speaker 3: His name was A rbal Red and bar No.
Speaker 6: But yeah, I got half that bag of sweet salty.
Speaker 4: Popcorn and uh and I forgot about it till now.
Speaker 4: It works great?
Speaker 3: Wow? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sorry, really Chris quick? Chris?
Speaker 5: Does that mean that on Thanksgiving you eat turkey, then
Speaker 5: mashed potatoes, then stuffing.
Speaker 3: I don't even try. I don't even really get stuff
Speaker 3: on a buffet. I I just I just like the
Speaker 3: dark meat, and then I'll have pie a minute.
Speaker 7: I'm a freak.
Speaker 4: Sorry, you just have them on separate You are a freak.
Speaker 7: A puppy.
Speaker 3: Yes, I think I will get cranberry sauce just for
Speaker 3: the visual, but then I won't eat it.
Speaker 7: No one actually eats.
Speaker 6: And it comes out of a two blank sheath formation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost like a cow giving birth. Yeah, the sack.
Speaker 1: You have to break the sack and then get to
Speaker 1: your cranberry.
Speaker 3: My sister always insists on making her own like artisanal cramp,
Speaker 3: which is also worse than A way. I mean that's cool,
Speaker 3: but I don't like home. Yeah, I mean this is
Speaker 3: a this is probably. Yeah, there's always.
Speaker 4: Twigs of time and yeah, there's shells in there. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's weird because it's from the bog.
Speaker 7: It's from it's a guy.
Speaker 3: I got the weird guy got it from the bog. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah there's boots. There's also waiters in there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, part of a fish hook.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 6: You're ozark organics. Yeah, I like a gelatinous cylinder. And
Speaker 6: then and then I ignore it.
Speaker 3: It's just artificial. Artificial stuff is, for some reason to
Speaker 3: me so much better. Always.
Speaker 7: I just I like, I like, I just I don't know.
Speaker 5: It's only because it's strained, like thank you for taking
Speaker 5: at least step one. God bless your sister for trying.
Speaker 1: But it's like that's it's like put it through a filter, please.
Speaker 3: And she puts like, you know, creepy subtle flavors in
Speaker 3: which like I just hit me over the head. I
Speaker 3: don't I don't want like I don't want like a
Speaker 3: little bit of orange and a little orange.
Speaker 6: I don't gave me the tart and sweetened rawberry.
Speaker 1: And get rid of this uti.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, eyes for forty eight hours.
Speaker 1: I want that medicine.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, but Anthony Hopkins, I can watch his roast
Speaker 6: ja jatajj.
Speaker 3: I keep laughing at it.
Speaker 4: It's always a sign of us having a lot of fun.
Speaker 6: When I look down expecting to see that we've gone
Speaker 6: forty five minutes.
Speaker 3: And we're over even Yeah, that's that ship. That's now.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, oh ship, we're having fun.
Speaker 1: Oh ship. It has to end at some point.
Speaker 4: I guess who's going to be mad?
Speaker 1: Well, you do this, you know normally we do this
Speaker 1: in a car.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's normal.
Speaker 5: That's that's how this podcast started. So when we get
Speaker 5: back into the car, would you come back?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I would love to thank you somewhere that would be
Speaker 7: put me.
Speaker 6: Your choice, just not lax like we originally intended every episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was a mistake.
Speaker 7: Yeah that's so funny though.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, take me to take me to Alta
Speaker 3: Dino or something.
Speaker 7: Leave me, leave me for the coyos, believe.
Speaker 1: You at the dairy, make your own way home.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 7: I would love to join you guys in the in
Speaker 7: the car.
Speaker 4: Try to be off to the birthplace of milk.
Speaker 5: Great Alta, Dina. It's so exciting to meet someone that
Speaker 5: that I really like their work and that they're not
Speaker 5: that they're exactly what I thought they would be.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for being the person that you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh wow, that's really sweet. I thank you guys
Speaker 3: for being the same way.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I had no, I had no doubts. Not that
Speaker 6: I'm trying to one up your compliment. Well, but you
Speaker 6: did it.
Speaker 5: You know what you did it. There's a compliment for you.
Speaker 5: You won the compliment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're so uh watched everything.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 6: Chris has a lot of YouTube content, which is something
Speaker 6: we all should have been doing the past decade.
Speaker 5: If you if you haven't seen Chris's video, normies are
Speaker 5: getting creative, which all I could think about the first
Speaker 5: time I watched that video is how how did he
Speaker 5: ever sing this?
Speaker 1: Second time?
Speaker 7: I didn't.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I've never done no one off.
Speaker 7: I don't we never did it again?
Speaker 3: Yeah, ay, just record, Yeah, I don't even I couldn't.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And also watch his stand up his stand up story
Speaker 6: about ending up at a Super Bowl party at Dane
Speaker 6: Cook's house and also the most relatable and you're not
Speaker 6: saying anything bad about it. It was the most relatable
Speaker 6: thing I've ever as someone that doesn't know what to
Speaker 6: say about football or you know, I just felt that
Speaker 6: bit so much. It's really really funny and there's a
Speaker 6: lot of jokes in that story, so watch that one.
Speaker 4: Specifically.
Speaker 5: You have some sort of a Chris Fleming dot org
Speaker 5: where people can go and find your tour dates.
Speaker 3: Ed you It's I'm a government site. Yeah about you know,
Speaker 3: it's Chris Fleming. Fleming dot com is where you can
Speaker 3: find it. Well, thank you guys so much for having me.
Speaker 4: Thank you for the best.
Speaker 3: Was wonderful. Thank you.
Speaker 6: I'll hang up from this and sit in the darkness
Speaker 6: for a minute. Okay, perfect, you've been listening.
Speaker 4: Do you need a ride? Dyn A.
Speaker 3: This has been an Exactly Right.
Speaker 1: Production produced by Casey O'Brien.
Speaker 4: Mixed by John Bradley.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.
Speaker 5: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast.
Speaker 3: That's d y n ar podcast.
Speaker 6: For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 5: Listen, follow and leave us a review on Amazon Music,
Speaker 5: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get.
Speaker 3: Your podcasts and don't forget.
Speaker 6: You can listen to new episodes one week early on
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Speaker 4: Or early and ad free by.
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Speaker 3: Thank you, Quo, You're welcome.
Speaker 1: Foo