WEBVTT - No roadblocks without detours

0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:16.640
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:21.720
<v Speaker 1>tip is to set the expectation that if anyone nixes

0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:27.280
<v Speaker 1>a plan, they need to propose an alternative. No roadblocks

0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:32.280
<v Speaker 1>without detours as a policy makes everything feel more fair.

0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip comes from Amy Gallo, author of the new

0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:43.479
<v Speaker 1>book Getting Along, How to Work with Anyone, even difficult people.

0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:48.519
<v Speaker 1>In it, she describes nine archetypes of colleagues who can

0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:52.200
<v Speaker 1>be hard to work with, and she offers strategies for

0:00:52.520 --> 0:00:56.720
<v Speaker 1>working with them. One of those types is the pessimist.

0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Nothing is ever going to work for this person. This

0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:03.840
<v Speaker 1>can be a little frustrating if you are trying to

0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:08.440
<v Speaker 1>collaborate with a pessimist. Gallo quotes a complaint about a

0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:13.680
<v Speaker 1>pessimistic colleague. What he was doing, the person explained, felt

0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:20.360
<v Speaker 1>like continually putting up roadblocks without providing a detour sign.

0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:25.160
<v Speaker 1>I love that analogy, because literal roadblocks are sometimes necessary,

0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:30.399
<v Speaker 1>maybe there's construction work underway, a flooded passage, or an

0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:34.800
<v Speaker 1>accident that needs to be cleared. But roadblocks without posted

0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:38.880
<v Speaker 1>detours can be frustrating and can feel unfair. What am

0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I supposed to do If signs proclaimed this road is closed,

0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.640
<v Speaker 1>but you don't tell me how to get to my destination,

0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:49.000
<v Speaker 1>perhaps your map app can figure it out. But if

0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:53.120
<v Speaker 1>you weren't running your map app, signage is helpful and

0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:57.280
<v Speaker 1>makes it feel like whoever blocked the road actually cares

0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:02.240
<v Speaker 1>if you get where you are going. In the professional contexts,

0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:08.880
<v Speaker 1>figurative roadblocks can be just as frustrating. They are sometimes necessary.

0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:15.200
<v Speaker 1>Not every idea is a great one. Sometimes you lack

0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:19.119
<v Speaker 1>the budget or the manpower. Sometimes the team really did

0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:22.680
<v Speaker 1>try that exact same thing five years ago before you joined.

0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:27.239
<v Speaker 1>But simply saying no is seldom helpful. In a team context,

0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:33.279
<v Speaker 1>whoever is saying no bears some responsibility for proposing an alternative.

0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.919
<v Speaker 1>This might be a completely different approach from the one

0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:39.919
<v Speaker 1>that had been offered, or it could be a way

0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:43.679
<v Speaker 1>of addressing the issue that was that identified. Either way,

0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:48.799
<v Speaker 1>the person doesn't say that won't work without also saying,

0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:55.480
<v Speaker 1>but maybe this will. I can imagine having a team

0:02:55.680 --> 0:03:00.000
<v Speaker 1>norm at work of the philosophy no roadblocks without detours.

0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:04.680
<v Speaker 1>In other words, if a person expresses an objection, they

0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:10.080
<v Speaker 1>are also responsible for proposing a solution. Once that norm

0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:14.840
<v Speaker 1>is established, if a person names a problem, a colleague

0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:19.720
<v Speaker 1>could say in a gentle way, what's the detour? This

0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:24.880
<v Speaker 1>will hopefully nudge some ideas. You could have this norm

0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:28.880
<v Speaker 1>in your family too. A kid announces that he doesn't

0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.920
<v Speaker 1>want to go to day camp during fall break, which

0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:38.360
<v Speaker 1>was your childcare plan? What alternative does he suggest? Your

0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:40.680
<v Speaker 1>spouse says he can't pick up your daughter from soccer

0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.960
<v Speaker 1>because he had to schedule a four thirty meeting. What's

0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:48.160
<v Speaker 1>the detour? You can set a norm of no roadblocks

0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:52.120
<v Speaker 1>without detours in your friends group too. Maybe you're trying

0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.360
<v Speaker 1>to plan a fortieth birthday trip with your high school

0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:58.680
<v Speaker 1>best friends and one person keeps shooting down all of

0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:05.040
<v Speaker 1>the ideas. Ask for alternatives. It can be helpful when

0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:07.880
<v Speaker 1>someone points out parts of a plan that might not work,

0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:11.640
<v Speaker 1>but it is not okay to just be the naysayer.

0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Roadblocks need detours if people are trying to get somewhere

0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:24.800
<v Speaker 1>together in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening,

0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:35.760
<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Thanks

0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:39.919
<v Speaker 1>for listening to before breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,

0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:43.440
<v Speaker 1>or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura

0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:52.919
<v Speaker 1>vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:57.479
<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app,

0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.