WEBVTT - Ep 102: Tom Crean 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:06.800 You've got to have expectations for how they train, how 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:09.800 they work, how they treat others, because if you don't 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:13.600 build those then you're really negating their ability to do 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.800 what I think is getting harder and harder all the time, 0:00:17.079 --> 0:00:19.919 which is to solve your own problems. Because the way 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.840 the world continues to evolve, it becomes so easy to 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:25.000 not have to be verbal. 0:00:26.640 --> 0:00:29.680 This is the Reform Sports Project, a podcast about restoring 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:32.879 healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.839 education and advocacy. Hi, this is Nick Bonacor from the 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:40.879 Reform Sports Podcast. Today, I'm speaking with Tom Crane, college 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:44.480 basketball analyst for ESPN and former Division I head coach. 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:48.280 Prior to rejoining ESPN in twenty twenty two, Tom served 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.800 as a head men's basketball coach at Georgia, Indiana and Marquette, 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:55.200 winning over four hundred games throughout his twenty plus coaching career. 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:57.320 Coach Crean and I discuss what it means to be 0:00:57.360 --> 0:01:00.000 a good teammate, teaching kids how to advocate for themselves, 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.720 elves and make their own decisions, and why it's important 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.800 for kids to grow out of looking at their parents 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:08.240 for validation while playing coach Tom Creane, Man, I am 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:11.040 freaking fired up. I'm excited to have you coach. Thanks 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:11.759 so much for joining. 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:13.720 Well, thanks for asking me that I appreciate it, and 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:14.840 then I'm looking forward to it. 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:16.800 Well, I appreciate you. I know that we're we're talking 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.560 about something that you're not only experienced with, but it's 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:22.840 certainly passionate with. And where I want to start with you, coaches, 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:25.560 is I talked to several and had several guests on 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.520 you know, high level coaches like yourself, and you know, 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.360 especially in the college basketball arena. And you know, I'm 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:34.120 turning forty four soon, and you know, I grew up 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:35.920 in a different era. I have six kids who are 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:38.920 growing up in this time and playing sports, and man, 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.200 even as a parent, it's sometimes challenging. And I want 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:44.840 to ask you as far as the landscape of coaching 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:48.480 is concerned. You know, it seems like the word discipline 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:51.840 and accountability at times gets a bad rap. I feel 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:56.320 like people tied discipline with like extreme cases. And you know, 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.560 but then I look at some of the most successful coaches, 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:01.000 whether it be in college basketball or any sport for 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.840 that matter, and it seems like there's always accountability there's 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:07.560 always energy, there's always passion. How does discipline, accountability and 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:10.560 those things get misconstrued with kind of people talk about abuse. 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:12.680 I mean to me, it seems like it's pretty easy 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.640 to separate, but at times there's a fine line. And 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:17.080 can you kind of get into that a little bit 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:18.800 where we went wrong and how that took place? 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:23.000 Yeah, absolutely, because I think discipline is like sacrifice. Those 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:25.720 words so many times are looked at as four letter words, 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.080 you're not the good ones, and it's and they're so 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:32.800 far from that. I mean, there's no question that you 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:36.040 take those words and right away, and so many people 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:40.320 there's a negative connotation that just it almost puts a 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:42.480 period at the end of the sentence before you can 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.520 ever get anywhere else, or an exclamation point, And there's 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:47.720 so many different ways to get it across. And I 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.040 think it's like anything else in this world, You've got 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.720 to continue to find words that register. You got to 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:57.200 find phrases after you teach something. It's so much about reminders. 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.440 And I think when you look at discipline, when you 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:03.520 look at sacrifice, when you look at accountability, I think 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:05.960 you got to look at standards. Hey, it's a really 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.399 cool word right. Standards is a cool word, but it's 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:12.560 not something it just comes to mind that people just automatically. 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.680 It just registers on what that means. So you have 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:19.520 to give people, give young people what those standards are. 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.400 And so much of it is the discipline that you 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.800 need to be successful. It is like you mentioned your energy, 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:30.680 it's your enthusiasm, it's your attention to the things that 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:35.160 the details in what you're doing. Okay, that inches matter, 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:39.920 you know, feet matter, whatever it is, you know, body angles, 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.880 all those different things matter, and those become part of 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:47.200 the standards. And then I think the other thing. It's 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:49.840 so big. And this is one thing that's really hard 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:53.080 for coaches at times, it's hard for parents that it's 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:57.680 okay to have expectations. And it's not expectations of Okay, 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:00.600 you've got to score twenty, you've got to hit x 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:02.560 amount of home runs, you've got to be able to 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.440 pass for X amount of yards, you've got to get 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.880 x amount of touches or targets or catches. No, no, 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:11.760 it's not that. It's the expectation for how you should 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:15.160 handle things. And to me, the personal part of it 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:19.120 starts so much, okay, with how you are as a teammate, 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:22.920 and the expectation that you have or your child or 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:27.360 your player as a teammate, as somebody then that is coachable, 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:31.640 as somebody that has the right type of body language, 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:34.760 the right type of eye contact, you know, all those things. 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:38.920 Those become expectations that can then lead into Okay, here's 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:40.440 the amount of work that you have to put in. 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:43.200 Here's the amount of time you have to spend on this, 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.960 here's the type of things you have to work on, 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.080 and the standards become. Okay, if you're going to get 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:52.280 better and be a complete basketball player, you can't only 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:54.120 work on what you're good at. You've got to do 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:56.719 x amounts maybe with your left hand if you're a 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.520 right handed player, or you've got to do x amount 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:02.039 shooting free throws, or you've got to do x amount 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:05.359 when it comes to one on one defense, whatever it is, 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:11.120 whatever sport is. And you help chet those standards because 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:16.320 you have expectations of your child or your player to 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:22.000 do certain things well and right and consistently, and that 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.720 in time turns into being where the production comes from. 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.640 And I think so many times people see expectations as 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:31.360 X amount of wins, the X amount of results for 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:34.320 their individual sport, and that, to me is not what 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:37.120 it is. It's all the things that lead into that 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.200 that then give you a fighting chance or a better 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:43.159 chance to achieve those results of those individual accolades that 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:45.599 people like to see you get in your own life. 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:48.560 I love that word standards, and it's funny. I've never 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.240 really dug into that word, but you know words are 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:53.799 so powerful. And to take it a step further, sure, 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:57.239 there's certain standards that you have when you get to college. 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.480 You know, when you're becoming a college athlete, then there's 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:01.960 certain stands a high school. Is there such thing as 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.359 age appropriate? And I love you to get into that 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.880 because you know, my oldest is eighteen. He's getting ready 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:08.760 to go wrestle in college. And I also have a 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:10.760 five year old almost five year old, and I got 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:14.320 four others in between. And I don't parent my eighteen 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.280 year old the same as I do my five year old. 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:18.960 Right now, I have standards for all of them, but 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.600 how much does age? Because I want you know, parents 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:24.640 who may not have a college or or you know, 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:28.919 high level playing sport experience themselves, are really walking around 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:31.080 this culture. Coach, like, what do I do you know what, 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:34.119 I got this at this ex pro who's running this club, 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.480 who's telling me I got to specialize all year long 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:38.360 at nine in order for my kid to have a shot. 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:40.800 And then I got this other guy telling me it's okay, 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:43.240 play everything. And you know, people are confused, their kids 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:44.600 are gonna miss out, they're afraid. 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:45.640 How do they. 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.720 Manage being pushed and pulled? And also I would love 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:51.200 for you to not only speak to the parents of 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.840 how they navigate that, but also to the coaches what 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:56.359 is age appropriate? Is there a difference how you should 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:59.600 coach your seventeen U Premier team versus your seven U 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.960 Miss Machene pitch team. For lack of a better express. 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.640 Absolutely, absolutely there's a difference. And that's where standards are different. 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:11.240 Fundamental standards are different, All those things are different. Here's 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:15.880 three things that I think are relevant to age, and 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.760 especially when when you just said between eighteen and five, 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.679 and I think obviously it's different how you get them across. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:26.600 But I think these three things are absolutely crucial no 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:30.160 matter what age. And first and foremost, okay, from the 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:34.280 side of being on a team or learning skills, you've 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.760 got to be a teammate you've got to keep teaching 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:42.520 ways to be a better teammate, and so many times 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.720 being a better teammate, especially when they're younger, is how 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:48.560 you react. And that's where number two comes in, which 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:52.520 is incredibly important. What leads into the coachability part of it, 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:54.920 and that's your body language. There have got to be 0:07:55.000 --> 0:08:01.200 standards and expectations for young people three team teen, high teen, 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:05.120 college age, whatever it is, especially in pro level, but 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:09.560 there's got to be You've got to have expectations in demands. 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:11.560 You've got to be able to make those corrections, make 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:16.360 those renders, make those adjustments, show it. And so many 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:21.400 times there's parents they're filming every move their kids make, 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:24.280 which is not totally wrong. I'm not saying that's negative 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:26.680 at all, But when's the last time somebody filmed them 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:29.400 having an interaction with a referee or a teammate or 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.079 on the bench, or showing frustration at a call or 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:35.280 a non call or something with the homeplate, umpire or 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:40.120 the referee. Showing those things, you know, the visual tool 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:43.200 and coaching, and I've coached in college for so long 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:46.760 that the visual tool of showing somebody not only what 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:48.840 they're doing well, not only what they're doing right when 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:51.880 it comes to the actual game, but showing them on 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:55.600 a bench, showing their reaction to a teammate, showing their 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.520 reaction to a referee, and at times it's private and 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.200 at times it's in front of everybody else because you 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.199 really have to and this is a strong word, but 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:06.720 it's a very important word. You have to be able 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:10.760 to pierce people and children and your players at times 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:14.240 with them really getting the message. And I don't mean 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:18.360 piercing in a negative, physical nasty at all, but you've 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:21.120 got to be able to get their attention. They got 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:23.560 to absorb it, right, because the only way they're going 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:27.000 to apply it is if they've absorbed it. And what 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.800 you and I absorb as adults, or what you and 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.800 I absorb as coaches, is a lot different than what 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.040 our players absorb. And that's where the age part gets 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:41.080 so crazy, right, because eighteen to five is a huge difference, 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:44.320 which you still have to get their attention. So I 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:47.360 think when you look at being a teammate and all 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:49.760 the different ways you can build that, when you look 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:53.280 at your body language, which leads to your coachability, because 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:57.080 eye contact, how you listen, how you respond, how you talk. 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.880 That's all part of the body language. And then third, 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:03.400 and this is where I think when it's parents, if 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:06.360 they're doing it themselves, but when they are studying people 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:10.040 that are going to be with their children, okay, are 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:14.000 they helping build them athletically? And in so many cases 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:19.840 the younger they are, it's flexibility, it's stuability, right, it's 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:23.880 making sure they're able to function in so many different 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:27.920 ways athletically. It could be sprints, it could be all 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:31.800 these different things that are so important to help your 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:36.199 kids build their athleticism. The strength is a different component, 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:39.480 and I think so many times people see strength and conditioning, 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:43.600 is it all encompassing things? No, it's really not training 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:49.040 ripe speed training, endurance training, flexibility, building your hands, building 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:54.280 your feet, ankle and foot stability all right, and being 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.240 able to make sure that as you go up the 0:10:56.320 --> 0:11:00.160 ladder that your feet and your ankles are in the 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.960 shape and that you're building those type of things. And 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.160 that's why for me, I've never been caught up with 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.600 our own children, especially my son who played more sports, 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:12.959 or in recruiting, to have to find a specialist, to 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.280 have to find somebody that will year round with a 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:18.839 sport because I think that can create a lot if 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.360 you want to do it, it's great, but at some 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:24.880 point in time throughout that you've got to put the 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:29.720 fact are they truly having fun with this training? Are 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:33.160 they truly having fun with the games, or is it 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:37.000 becoming something that becomes so stressful because that's all they're 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:41.520 doing that they're not really challenging their mind. And a 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:45.160 good book to read on that is Ranged by David Epstein. 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:48.560 It's really really good. It's out in paperback now. There's 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.880 so many books that hit that, but books for me 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:53.280 and I know you didn't ask this, but I think 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.960 this is really good for parents. Read a book called 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.200 The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle that teaches you so 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:02.840 much about out people that are in all these different 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:06.400 places that they might have been specialists, they might not 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:09.440 have been, but they had the right training. There's a 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:13.400 book called The gold Mine by Rasmus Ankerson who's from 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.240 the Netherlands. I believe, or I believe it's another those 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.400 but it's a great book where these people they went 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:23.720 and they dove into why people were successful from certain areas, 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.000 how they trained, and what you find out is it's 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:27.920 a lot about what we're talking about. It's okay to 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.960 have expectations for your kids. It's okay to have standards 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:34.240 for your kids. It's how you go about it that's 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:35.440 the trick, and that's the key. 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.440 David Epstein's fun I had him as a guest on 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:42.440 last year. Couldn't agree with you more with regard to range. 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:44.679 He really breaks it down, gives so many examples. It's 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:47.079 a great episode. I hope everyone, if they haven't listened yet, 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.400 check it out. But what did you first become a 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:50.160 college head coach? 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:54.240 What year was it? It was nineteen ninety nine. I 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.840 got my job at Marquette on my thirty third birthday. 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:59.439 I was coaching at Michigan State. We're getting ready to 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.160 go to the Final four. I accept their job on 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:05.480 a Wednesday night. We announced it the following Tuesday, and 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:08.560 I got it on my thirty third birthday. My wife 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.320 and I were sitting there and it was incredible. Meeting 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.559 Web of Bay Athletic director and flown up to East Lansing. 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:16.720 Bill Kurt's been from thirty three on. So nineteen ninety 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:18.800 nine two thousand was my first year at Marquette. 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:21.839 You also coached many above average players, but one in 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:26.040 particular d Wade, Dwayne Wade. And also, did you coach 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:26.920 Jimmy Butler too? 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:30.880 No, I left. Buzz Williams was my assistant, got the job, 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.439 and he recruited and signed Jimmy Butler. I had left 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:37.079 to go to Indiana. Oh, miss Jimmy by a year. 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.360 Fair enough? Well, I guess Ryle I wanted to ask 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:41.800 that question. My sophomore year at college playing baseball was 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:45.440 nineteen ninety nine. And you know, but since the late nineties, 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.400 early two thousands till now, I believe that there's been 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.600 a dramatic shift. I mean, coach, we often hear and 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.240 I'm sure you see it as well. People especially on 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.160 social media, will say kids are soft these days. You know, 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:59.040 kids are kids, aren't coacha. But whatever the case is, Well, 0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:01.560 I stand back, I'm a parent, and I'm like, you know, 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.600 kids only know what they're taught, you know. To me, 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:05.840 it's sure if some people may think they're soft, well, 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:08.040 a lot of times they're cuddled. You know, they're not 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.600 allowed to fail, they're not allowed to struggle, they're not 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.080 put in positions where they have to overcome adversity. How 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.360 much have you seen from your experience of your first 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:18.640 year of being a college head coach in ninety nine 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.040 at thirty three, you know, till the last time you 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.280 coached in college, and even now where you've seen the 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:26.440 landscape shift maybe with the kids that you're bringing in, 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.200 and has there been an issue with resiliency as a 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.440 direct result of maybe them being coddled too much versus 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:33.560 the kids you got early on. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.640 I think there's some of that, absolutely. I definitely think 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.480 there's some of that. I don't think there's as much 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:43.160 sometimes as people think. I mean, there is issues, but 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.120 the reasons so many times, and I go back to this, 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:51.240 the word expectations. I think too many times parents coaches 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:54.560 when they're younger, they don't have enough expectations for those 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:59.120 things we're talking about. The expectations become results. The expectations 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:03.800 become points, they become home runs, they become hits, they 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:08.360 become goals, they become all wins, right, and you want 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.800 to teach them to win. I'm not saying that at all, 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.840 But I'm also saying that you've got to have expectations 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:17.440 for how they train, how they work, how they treat others, 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:21.160 because if you don't build those then you're really really 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.920 negating their ability to do what I think is getting 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.520 harder and harder all the time, which is to solve 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:31.680 your own problems. Because the way the world continues to evolve, 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:35.080 and it becomes so easy, okay, to not have to 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:38.200 be verbal in this world, it becomes so easy to 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.960 not have to talk. It becomes so easy to become 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.240 isolated that you've got to teach them to be able 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.560 to make decisions, to have a feel for what makes 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:50.720 a decision. I see this in recruiting. I think this 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:52.800 is definitely happening more and more. That's why there's so 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.200 many different voices in kids' lives. And now with the name, 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.280 image and likeness situation where you can have agents. I 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.880 know of story where a coach may call a young 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:06.160 person a player that's transferring, and they don't even want 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:08.480 to discuss it. Call my agent, Call my agent, call 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:11.520 my parents, and down the road. Then you've got kids 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:16.480 that aren't truly having to make decisions for what they want. 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:19.080 And I think that starts at a young age. And 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:23.760 I think there's way too much acceptance of it's not 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:27.240 going well for me, Okay, So I'm going to find 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.480 a way to blame. I'm going to find a way 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.680 to be critical. I'm gonna find a way to be negative. 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:34.520 I'm going to find a way to take that from me. 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:38.080 And I think when parents allow that to happen, and 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:42.320 it's always somebody else's fault, it's somebody else's on the team, 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:44.800 it's the coach isn't doing them right or playing them right. 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:48.359 When you allow that to happen, it just keeps manifesting 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:51.600 itself down the road. There are two places, all right, 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.280 where a kid is going to look when he's playing 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:57.160 on a field, when he's playing on a floor, okay, 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:59.440 when he's playing in a stadium, when he's playing on 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.320 a court, he's going to be looking at his coach 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.800 or coach is for how they're reacting, and they're going 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:09.320 to be looking at their parents. And the more that 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.600 they can find a place, okay, where they can feel 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.679 like a victim in the situation, where they can feel like, 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:19.000 oh man, I'm being wronged and my parents agree with me. 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:21.639 Or it's not going right for me and my parents 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:23.960 agree with me. Or I'm not getting the ball enough 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.680 and I can tell my parents agree with me. Those 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.399 are bad things. Those are hard to grow out. If 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:33.080 I was coaching at Indiana, we had a player that 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.240 had an issue because because you've got to be able 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:39.199 to grow out of looking at your family, looking at 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:41.359 your mom and dad as you go down the line 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:44.200 in sports, you've got to be able to grow out 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:47.359 of that. But if you become somebody, okay, that goes 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:50.280 through a period of time where you feel better because 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.680 you look over because they're commiserating with you, all right, 0:17:53.800 --> 0:17:57.280 or they're helping validate you know. It's one thing to clap, 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.360 it's one thing to give at the boys and keep 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.400 going and all those kinds of things. Those things are good, 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.320 but when they look over and see that negative body language, 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.640 it might feel them in a negative way, but it's 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:10.080 certainly going to bring stress to them. And I had 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:13.240 an NBA team in to tell and we're talking about 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.639 a player, and he said, tell so and so to 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.720 quit looking at his dad every time he makes a 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.040 play in a game or every time somebody goes wrong, 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:23.560 because his dad won't be sitting anywhere near the court 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:25.960 of the NBA. And it was like it was a 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:29.200 really good point because as you go up the ladder, 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:33.760 they notice those things. The college coaches that the professional scouts, 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.760 they notice those type of things. So if you allow 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:41.000 that to manifest itself and they see you in the 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:45.600 stands complaining and ripping somebody and ripping the refs constantly 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.719 and yelling at the coach, it just brings stress and 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.840 it becomes something that they don't have the tools so 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:55.520 many times when they're younger to be able to get 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:57.720 out of because as you and I both know, then 0:18:57.720 --> 0:18:59.960 a lot of times that carries into the car ride, 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:02.960 and then that becomes even worse because now you're trapped. 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:06.840 Now the kid is trapped, there's nowhere to go, and 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.640 that's where it becomes so hard and his parents we've 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:13.679 got to guard against that constantly. Constantly, we have to 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:16.800 guard against that and help them grow because they are 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:18.680 going to get wrong, they are going to go through 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:21.080 hard times, they are going to have bad games, they 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.359 are going to play with selfish teammates, they are going 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:25.920 to get messed around by a coach here and again. 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.600 But they've got to be able to deal with it 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:30.359 to have any success moving forward. 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.080 When we come back, Coach Creede and I discuss why 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.760 he believes most parents are only as happy as their 0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:39.040 unhappiest child as we go into break, I wanted to 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.520 share another update with you from our friends at Team Snap. 0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:44.359 As most people involved in youth sports know, running a 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:47.040 tournament can be often a stressful and chaotic time, and 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:50.920 industry leading amateur sports team and club management platform, Team 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:53.439 Snap is here to help. 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