Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to Joe Biden Trend's seapap machine.
Speaker 2: I am Jack.
Speaker 1: That is Miles and these are some of the things
Speaker 1: that are trending. The head of Cardier, who has a
Speaker 1: seven point five billion dollar fortune, says that he's losing sleep.
Speaker 1: Where we're going to talk about losing sleep a lot
Speaker 1: in this episode. He's losing sleep because of the prospect
Speaker 1: of the poor rising up and consuming him.
Speaker 2: Presumably you six son of a bitch. This guy also
Speaker 2: has like a ton of hot takes. He's like as
Speaker 2: a South African like Jewelry Overlord, diamond magnate. I just
Speaker 2: do love the idea of like that his altruism is
Speaker 2: only coming from a place of self preservation, right. He's like, yeah, man,
Speaker 2: robots could create quote structural unemployment, then they're gonna blame us,
Speaker 2: and then the poor people will kill us, right, I
Speaker 2: mean yeah, right now we're at the energy where people
Speaker 2: are so ubrating when billionaires die, like like the dude
Speaker 2: who like recently passed away and was like, oh, time
Speaker 2: to post the crap memes. But yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 2: this is must be scary for you to I don't
Speaker 2: feel so bad for him. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He's specifically worried about robots replacing workers and the poor
Speaker 1: rising up to bring down the rich. And he said
Speaker 1: it all out loud, all right, because it's just they
Speaker 1: don't talk to anyone who is not also a billionaire
Speaker 1: or paid by them to agree with them, right, and
Speaker 1: so they We'll just continue to get a window into
Speaker 1: how they talk, how they think, and we salute you,
Speaker 1: a multi billionaire luxury jewelry company owner.
Speaker 2: I wonder because that guy, the person I'm thinking of,
Speaker 2: is James Crown, who's the former director of JP Morgan.
Speaker 2: And like when he died like in a like a
Speaker 2: motorcycle accident on his birthday or some shit, and asspen
Speaker 2: people were like, yeah, all right, whatever, good riddance, And
Speaker 2: I wonder that shook the billionaire world. They're like, he
Speaker 2: died on his birthday and like the poor people were like.
Speaker 1: Good yeah, oh no, Johann Rupert, is this man's name?
Speaker 1: Is that a conference? I mean, maybe this is the
Speaker 1: only way to get through. He was speaking at the
Speaker 1: Financial Times Business of Luxury Summit in Monico, so he
Speaker 1: knew his audience.
Speaker 2: Fucking Monico, the Monico. Can you can get to Monaco?
Speaker 2: But do you have money to stay in Monaco? That's right,
Speaker 2: is the question. Yeah, well, I like I said, told
Speaker 2: his fellow elite. Yeah. True. He can't sleep, can't sleep
Speaker 2: at the thought of social upheaval he thinks is imminent.
Speaker 1: I mean maybe some of me is like, yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: maybe they'll do something. But the other thing they'll do
Speaker 1: is invest in more police. Yeah, I'm gonna say, search
Speaker 1: screen technology.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those robots will We'll just make the robots kill them.
Speaker 2: Told the conference a beare in mind.
Speaker 1: When the poor rise up, the middle classes won't want
Speaker 1: to buy lugury goods for fear of exposing their wealth. So,
Speaker 1: I mean he's thought this through at a deep level.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said, how is society going to cope with it?
Speaker 2: The hatred quote, we are destroying the middle classes and
Speaker 2: it will affect us. It's unfair. So that's what keeps
Speaker 2: me awake. The unfairness.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, the fact that it could eventually, like me,
Speaker 1: generations from now, have a negative impact on people who
Speaker 1: are related to me. Yeah, or at least the security
Speaker 1: guards I pay to protect me. I just would feel
Speaker 1: sorry for them if they got hurt trying.
Speaker 2: As then that would be unfair. And that would be
Speaker 2: your job.
Speaker 1: So here is one billionaire person who still is afraid
Speaker 1: for their life, whereas a lot of them seem like
Speaker 1: they're just like, for my birthday, I've decided to break
Speaker 1: the land speed record on a Harley right, all right,
Speaker 1: So there is a bicycle designed. It's kind of somewhere
Speaker 1: between a bit and this person like he actually designed it.
Speaker 1: It's a real less bicycle, and it's being covered as
Speaker 1: it's breaking all the rules and turning heads.
Speaker 2: And that is because it is stupid, right, Like, it's
Speaker 2: because you know, bicycles are wonderful items because they are
Speaker 2: so you know, efficient in transferring our energy. Yes, and
Speaker 2: this thing has like the wheels the size of little
Speaker 2: lego pieces and the way the chain set up. You're like,
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is actually going to return
Speaker 2: your investment of energetic output in terms of you being
Speaker 2: able to move forward. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You look at the design and you're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so something I must be missing something, And then you
Speaker 1: see it in action and you realize you are missing nothing.
Speaker 1: It is exactly as inefficient as you expect it to be.
Speaker 1: There is a reason that it appears to be Like
Speaker 1: what when he is displaying how it works. He is
Speaker 1: operating on what appears to be the flattest piece of
Speaker 1: pavement ever constructed. Like it's just it's like fake grass
Speaker 1: and the flattest piece of pavement ever. And yeah, the
Speaker 1: way it works is so it's like two tank treads
Speaker 1: that are like meeting the ground at weird oblique angles,
Speaker 1: and you just like are cranking on a treadmill. You're
Speaker 1: basically like powering a treadmill.
Speaker 2: It's I mean, I get it. I think because this
Speaker 2: person designs it looks like always designing weird wonky bike designs,
Speaker 2: like square wheels and shit. So I get where you're
Speaker 2: coming from. But yeah, it's just like one of those things.
Speaker 2: When you look at it, you're like, come on, buddy,
Speaker 2: I get I mean, I know what you're doing.
Speaker 1: Here in a universe where people are like deathly allergic
Speaker 1: to circles, I feel like this makes sense. But here
Speaker 1: I don't see the need for it other than that
Speaker 1: it's turning heads. It feels like it would be the
Speaker 1: purview of people who go to the beach with like
Speaker 1: a parrot or a snake around their neck.
Speaker 2: Oh, like the most histrionic person in your town.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't have anything to say, but they would
Speaker 1: like you to look at them and engage.
Speaker 2: With them and be like, Hey, what's that? Oh, what's this? Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is the world's shiest bricycle A bike.
Speaker 1: For lizard people like to walk around with their their
Speaker 1: pets in public on their shoulders.
Speaker 2: Do you think if you're one of those people and like,
Speaker 2: you're not fIF eight miles Okay, I'm sorry Jack. When
Speaker 2: you're out there, do you always charge people to take
Speaker 2: pictures with your Boa constrictor? Or do you see it
Speaker 2: as a community service. That's why you're out there to
Speaker 2: bring joy. And you wouldn't dare take a penny of
Speaker 2: your fellows and give this away for free, man? So
Speaker 2: I'm telling you man, I'm like, you're going to get
Speaker 2: more good will if you just did it for free
Speaker 2: charge to fifteen bucks.
Speaker 1: Nah, then they don't value you as much as they should.
Speaker 2: And also, Jack, I don't know if that's a Boa constrictor.
Speaker 2: It looks like a garden snake.
Speaker 1: It's really tiny and it hasn't moved in four hours.
Speaker 2: Don't get too close to this Boa constructor. It's starting
Speaker 2: to smell. It's all floppy, all right. We have a
Speaker 2: new Superman. Miles really don't even know why I said
Speaker 2: it like that. I guess we've be talking about Loomy
Speaker 2: too much. Who is it? Jack? Who is the new
Speaker 2: super Bowl? You know who it is?
Speaker 1: It's David Korran sweat Koran's wet corns.
Speaker 2: Wow, Who's head?
Speaker 1: So you might suspect he is British from that name,
Speaker 1: but he is from Philly. And okay, did you watch
Speaker 1: We Own the City.
Speaker 2: First two episodes?
Speaker 1: Okay, so do you remember there was a sting operation
Speaker 1: like kind of a slow Burn investigation happening with a
Speaker 1: guy who had a beard.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm looking at this. Oh yes, yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little little too handsome to be a Baltimore cop.
Speaker 1: But they like put him in baggy T shirts and
Speaker 1: sweatpants to be like, oh yeah that guy. Okay, And
Speaker 1: when you see him without a beard, he is basically
Speaker 1: indistinguishable from Henry Cavill.
Speaker 2: So the idea of like we.
Speaker 1: Make these movies until the stars get too expensive or
Speaker 1: bored with it, and then replace them. This is the
Speaker 1: most like one to one where they're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is this is we just found a replica.
Speaker 2: There's like yeah, he's God. I mean, it's so funny
Speaker 2: how no one can get past the Christopher Reeves aesthetic
Speaker 2: of Superman. Yeah you know what I mean, Like because
Speaker 2: even when they talk about Nick Cage, like I know
Speaker 2: that's been his passion project since he was like born,
Speaker 2: because has been to play Superman coin. But I can
Speaker 2: just look at him like, it ain't gonna be you, bro,
Speaker 2: because you ain't Reeves enough, and now you're just getting clones.
Speaker 1: They gotta like down the road on that, or at
Speaker 1: least enough to take those pictures that everyone got everyone's
Speaker 1: hopes up. But like the idea of a Superman who
Speaker 1: is interesting or has a personality or has like human
Speaker 1: defects and like challenges, like right, people have had that idea.
Speaker 1: It seems to be what makes superhero movies interesting. And
Speaker 1: yet there's just something about Superman where they're just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not what people are looking for, and they always
Speaker 1: come back to just the most handsomest guy with brown
Speaker 1: hair and blue eyes that you can find, right, So yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, it just try something different.
Speaker 2: Man, Like Superman's so fucking dry as like a superhero
Speaker 2: where it's like, man, he don't got problems. He's an orphan, yeah,
Speaker 2: and I mean he like was a misfit his whole life,
Speaker 2: but he's great now I got to see here and
Speaker 2: he's invincible. I'm like, then that's not interesting. Like give
Speaker 2: him like a debilitating porn addiction or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, there was like at one point, I think,
Speaker 1: like towards the end of Mad Men, people were like
Speaker 1: talking about John Hans maybe getting cast a Superman, and
Speaker 1: it's like kind of over the hill Superman who presumably
Speaker 1: suffers from like a drinking problem or like a sex addiction.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's implied by the John hammness of
Speaker 1: it all. Oh yeah, but then yeah, that never went anywhere.
Speaker 1: There is actually supposedly a Black Superman movie in the works,
Speaker 1: written by Tana Hesse Coats and produced by JJ Abrams that,
Speaker 1: according to James Gunn, the new like co CEO of
Speaker 1: DC is like still in the air, still in developments,
Speaker 1: and if it happens, it would be a elsewhere tail
Speaker 1: separate from the DC continuity like Joker, So it would
Speaker 1: be one of the good ones that we allowed to happen.
Speaker 2: Fucking so stupid Black Superman would blow the fuck up
Speaker 2: anything not Christopher Reeves looking Superman would blow Yeah, would
Speaker 2: do really well. I would just I'm like, yeah, for
Speaker 2: that great. But they're like, no, what if we got
Speaker 2: a guy who was a photo copy of Brandon Routh
Speaker 2: or whoever that first super Mann of Steel guy was
Speaker 2: back in the odds?
Speaker 1: Uh, well, he is from Philadelphia, So what if like
Speaker 1: the one piece of texture they allow is just Superman
Speaker 1: has like a thick Philly accent.
Speaker 2: That would be kind of fun. Yo, yo, Lands, Like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck lewis?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Lo, But he's also a gambling addict, so he's like
Speaker 2: using like telekinesis to like help the Eagles win and shit,
Speaker 2: so he can make money on the SEC. All right,
Speaker 2: let's take a quick break and we'll come back with
Speaker 2: more news.
Speaker 1: And we're back, and people began to notice that Joe
Speaker 1: Biden has been shown up with indentse in his face
Speaker 1: that seemed to suggest he had begun eating like out
Speaker 1: of a feedbag. Possibly and in fact it is that
Speaker 1: he has begun using a seapap machine. You know, he's
Speaker 1: just a man of the people sleeping with a seapap machine.
Speaker 1: He's got apnea, and the White House says after indentations
Speaker 1: from straps were seen on both sides of his face
Speaker 1: Wednesday morning, that he has recently begun using the seapap machine.
Speaker 1: Since two thousand and eight, the President has disclosed his
Speaker 1: history with sleep apnea and thorough medical reports and so
Speaker 1: he it's it is kind of wild that they're just like, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: he used a fucking seapap machine last night.
Speaker 2: Guys, like, what do you what do you want? What
Speaker 2: do you want? It means he's dying. Well, then didn't
Speaker 2: he also call it the I He said Putin's losing
Speaker 2: the Iraq War.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he keeps doing the like multiple times in
Speaker 1: the past twenty four hours, has confused Iraq with Ukraine,
Speaker 1: which I did.
Speaker 2: It.
Speaker 1: It's a great comparison to make for some deep trenchant
Speaker 1: analysis of America's culpability in the current world order. And
Speaker 1: like the double standard of Russia. You know, everyone's like,
Speaker 1: we shouldn't even allow Russians in the country, Like, shouldn't
Speaker 1: allow the Russians to compete in the Olympics because they
Speaker 1: unilaterally invaded Ukraine on false evidence and false pretenses.
Speaker 2: But nobody's bringing up.
Speaker 1: The Iraq War except Joe Biden, who he's like, there's
Speaker 1: something stewing down down there.
Speaker 2: Is really fucking up in Iraq. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2: What I was talking to Mikyle, I said, Buddy, man,
Speaker 2: come off it, Jack, Yeah, I don't know. I mean, look,
Speaker 2: this is I don't know, y'all. This is what happens
Speaker 2: when you you discourage people from trying to primary the president.
Speaker 2: And you got old time traveler McGee over here.
Speaker 1: So our only options would be like, if he isn't
Speaker 1: medically up not saying that this is disqualifying, sure of
Speaker 1: course not. If he wasn't, the options would be or
Speaker 1: it would basically be Kamala versus RFK junior.
Speaker 2: If you're looking purely just at the Democratic primary, and
Speaker 2: who I mean Mary Ann Williamson, right, I mean that's
Speaker 2: why I think I think more. I mean, we're I
Speaker 2: don't think we're gonna see much mainstream media attention on
Speaker 2: Cornell West campaign, right, Like that's I think that's what
Speaker 2: That's what scares so many big d Democrats is when
Speaker 2: progressives are like, well, well, hold on a second, this
Speaker 2: guy just dangles progressive politics in front of people until
Speaker 2: election day, and another person is like living it and
Speaker 2: it's funny to see on Twitter like when people start
Speaker 2: talking about Cornell West, like you're gonna make Trump win, right,
Speaker 2: And it's like you actually need to understand what the
Speaker 2: stakes are for different people. Maybe for the life that
Speaker 2: you live, you're very comfortable with the status quo. For
Speaker 2: other people, the status quo is killing them, so there
Speaker 2: might not be much of a difference, and the only
Speaker 2: alternative is to try and seek someone out who's actually
Speaker 2: trying to address these like existential threats, you know, in
Speaker 2: real time, rather than like, I mean that's for something
Speaker 2: later on. And by that, I mean when I'm out
Speaker 2: of office and then you ask me why I didn't
Speaker 2: do it. I said I didn't have enough time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, that's where we're at.
Speaker 1: And then malaria is trending. Malaria is circulating again in
Speaker 1: the US this summer. Five mil local cases have been
Speaker 1: diagnosed in Florida and Texas. It is fairly easy to
Speaker 1: prevent and treat, but it also you know, that's assuming
Speaker 1: there's not a huge widespread outbreak, and it's not typically
Speaker 1: on the radar of doctors in the US, so they're
Speaker 1: issuing this as like a thing to the doctors being like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is now something you have to take into.
Speaker 2: Account if you're seeing an outbreak of fevers in the
Speaker 2: US unexplained fevers. Sorry, it's not nineteen fifty the year
Speaker 2: before the US declared malaria. No more like it could
Speaker 2: be malaria.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was declared eradicated from the US shores in
Speaker 1: nineteen fifty one. There was a small outbreak I think
Speaker 1: in the nineties and like one example, but it seems
Speaker 1: like it's now possible again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is weird. Like, all right, folks, be on
Speaker 2: the lookout for malaria.
Speaker 1: So Ike mascots are like the Ike mascots were trending
Speaker 1: in a couple of places over the past couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: There's a new mascot. Canada has an Ike mascot which
Speaker 1: looks like a cross between like a Playmobile toy and
Speaker 1: slender Man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got play play I said, Playboy beil, playmobile hair,
Speaker 2: Playboy bilt, the slender Man face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and for sure Playmobile CARDI is that anything? All right,
Speaker 1: let's write it down and then they're asking people to
Speaker 1: like name the character and it's fun. It's just what
Speaker 1: it's like, very minimalist smiley face on a weird, kind
Speaker 1: of vague humanoid shape. I also noticed people were like,
Speaker 1: it's cursed monstrosity. They're also describing it as reminiscent of
Speaker 1: a sleep paralysis demon. Yeah, which is a phrase I've
Speaker 1: just been seeing pop up all over the place. So,
Speaker 1: you know, just in our mission to chart the national
Speaker 1: shared unconsciousness. M hmm, it seems like a lot of
Speaker 1: people are suffering from sleep paralysis and reverencing sleep paralysis
Speaker 1: demons of late.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I mean, it's like funny you just starts
Speaker 2: Twitter for just sleep paralysis demon to see it come
Speaker 2: up in so many different ways. It's yeah, the new
Speaker 2: shorthand for.
Speaker 1: I always associated that with like a dark, shadowy figure
Speaker 1: like sleep paralysis demon, Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I guess it's all Look, it's it's whatever.
Speaker 1: Appears in your room when you can't move and you're
Speaker 1: actually asleep but feel like you're not one person.
Speaker 2: Sleep Prolysses demon is another multinational furniture company's mascot and
Speaker 2: can that's right.
Speaker 1: And then there's also the Blajaj, which is all the shark. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the shark, very popular shark stuffy toy in Japan and
Speaker 1: full sized Blajaj appears in commercials wearing a suit sort
Speaker 1: of like Jack and Jack in the Box but much
Speaker 1: cooler and apparently Blajaj is a LGBTQ icon and is
Speaker 1: huge in the trans community thanks to yours worth of memes.
Speaker 1: It's like etymology. It's like no one knows exactly how
Speaker 1: this happened. You can't trace it to the first photograph.
Speaker 1: But the character isn't like overtly marketed with a gendered backstory.
Speaker 2: Like Tito Ball the Swedish testicle meatball. They do have
Speaker 2: one that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they do, just have a what looks like a
Speaker 1: deep red testicle I guess as a reference to their meatball.
Speaker 1: But also his coloring is similar to that of the
Speaker 1: trans flag.
Speaker 2: So got to find them everywhere. Yeah, got our icons
Speaker 2: all around. Tito Ball, blaha, sleep paralysis demon, take your pick.
Speaker 2: Lufzig a big bad wolf toy that people. It's like
Speaker 2: an Ikea character.
Speaker 1: It was just like a stuffy that they sold near
Speaker 1: the register, and because so many people shop at Ikea,
Speaker 1: it became like somewhat iconic. But it became a symbol
Speaker 1: of the Hong Kong protest movement a decade ago after
Speaker 1: one was thrown at the Chief Executive c Y Lung
Speaker 1: during a town hall meeting and suddenly it like blew
Speaker 1: up in popularity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, folks, Yeah, like that's who the billionaires need to
Speaker 2: be watching out for. Yeah, yea mascots because they were
Speaker 2: the people around radical causes.
Speaker 1: We're all gonna rally around the Canadian sleep paralysis demon
Speaker 1: and take down all right, Well, those are some of
Speaker 1: the things that are trending on this Wednesday afternoon. We
Speaker 1: are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show.
Speaker 1: Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves,
Speaker 1: get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and
Speaker 1: we will talk to y'all tomorrow, bite by bite