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Speaker 1: We didn't have a lot of money, and it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: well we'll try this, and we'll try this and we'll

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Speaker 1: try this. And I think in hindsight, you know, I

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Speaker 1: always say I don't get emotional, but the.

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Speaker 2: Clip a Poblago viral? What up? Y'all? A's your boy?

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Speaker 2: Kevi on stage? You want to welcome you to Not

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Speaker 2: My Best Moment podcast, where I talk to my friends, artists, athletes, entertainer,

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Speaker 2: world changers about their failures. Of course they're all successful.

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Speaker 2: Everybody successful. Today we have a very special guest, Kennedy Ryan.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you why she's successful. Then we'll get

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Speaker 2: into the nitty gritty New York Times and USA Today

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Speaker 2: best selling romance author known for the Skyland series TV

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Speaker 2: an EP on upcoming project Riffs and refrains. In twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 2: she became the first black author to win a RIAD

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Speaker 2: Award for Best Contemporary Romance Long no pun Intended for

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Speaker 2: her novel The Long Shot, twenty twenty five Audio Award winner,

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Speaker 2: NAACP Image Award nominee and twenty twenty five Olivia Award nominee.

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Speaker 2: Co found It Lifts for Autism with author Ginger Scott

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Speaker 2: to raise autism awareness and funds. Her highly anticipated novel

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Speaker 2: Score releases May nineteenth, That is this week, get it

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Speaker 2: wherever you get books, especially at independent black owned book stores,

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Speaker 2: and she recently signed a first look deal with Universal

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Speaker 2: Studio Group to develop Before I Let Go series with

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Speaker 2: peacock Ladies and Gentlemen. Please welcome Kennedy Ryan Now, Kennedy,

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Speaker 2: thank you so much. My wife introduced you to me

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Speaker 2: when she was reading her romance novels. I will call

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Speaker 2: them by their appropriate names today. Romance novels, not smut good.

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Speaker 2: She's taught me well found out. There's a huge community

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Speaker 2: of women, Black women, women all all over the world

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Speaker 2: who love romance novels, and men ain't gonna hold your Kennedy.

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Speaker 2: I listened to a few. You feel me. I was

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Speaker 2: lost in this. I said, Oh, what's happening with Josiah?

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Speaker 2: What they gonna fall in love? You better not cass

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Speaker 2: that girl down at the restaurant. You better not, and

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Speaker 2: you fall in love with your wife. Fully finished that

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Speaker 2: series I'm talking about had me a time. But we're

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Speaker 2: not here to talk about any of your successes today.

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Speaker 2: There'll be other podcasts for that. I'm sure we're here

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Speaker 2: to talk about some of your failures and or setbacks.

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Speaker 2: Now you have an interesting choice on what was You

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Speaker 2: didn't call it a failure, You called it a family setback.

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Speaker 2: And that was when your son was diagnosed with autism.

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Speaker 2: Now I want you to get into the store, but

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Speaker 2: I just want to say, your son was diagnosed with autism,

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Speaker 2: and the very next day, your husband lost his job.

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Speaker 2: So you got hit with two haymakers. Take us back

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Speaker 2: to that time in your life. Where are you, what

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Speaker 2: are you going through? What was it nic? What is

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Speaker 2: it like to get hit with that news and then

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Speaker 2: the following news and I feel like your world felt

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Speaker 2: like it was turned upside down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. My son was only two, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm I'm older than everybody thinks I am. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's twenty five now.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I'm always and I'm always very careful when

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about the spectrum, you know, because twenty five

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Speaker 1: years ago, twenty three years ago, the landscape was very different. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I never want people to think she's like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, our son was diagnosed with autism and it

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Speaker 1: was like the end of the world, because that's not

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Speaker 1: what it is at all. It was that twenty three

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Speaker 1: years ago, we didn't have a lot of empirical evidence.

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Speaker 1: We didn't have trials, you know, so insurance companies didn't

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Speaker 1: pay for much of anything. Oh yeah, no, so it

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Speaker 1: was primarily out of an out of pocket condition. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: so that and now the landscape has changed a lot.

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Speaker 1: There are a lot more resources. But then it was

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Speaker 1: like they're really insurance and in our state where we

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Speaker 1: were living, there wasn't a lot of insurance support there.

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Speaker 1: The waivers, Like even now my son is on a waiver,

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Speaker 1: a list for a waiver. They said it will be

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Speaker 1: about twelve years, like before he is approved for this waiver,

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Speaker 1: it will be about what is so a waiver different

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Speaker 1: states they call it different things, They have different things,

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Speaker 1: but it's basically this money that's been set aside by

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Speaker 1: the state for these different different disabilities and conditions. But

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Speaker 1: they have so many people who have these conditions disabilities

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Speaker 1: needs that you go onto a wait list. And at

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Speaker 1: this point, because we relocated to a new state, he

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Speaker 1: basically started all over.

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Speaker 2: Oh and none of that carries over.

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Speaker 1: Not from state to state. Yeah. Oh, in this particular instance,

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Speaker 1: not from state to state. And so now he's on

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Speaker 1: a twelve year waiting list. This is now, and by

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Speaker 1: back then, there was just very little support. So the

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Speaker 1: doctor is telling you and they didn't know as much,

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Speaker 1: you know. So when the doctor, we go in and

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Speaker 1: the doctor literally told me to grieve, you know, he

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Speaker 1: was like, I used that language specifically, he used the

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Speaker 1: word grieve. He said, you should grieve everything you thought

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Speaker 1: motherhood was going to be. It's going to be a

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Speaker 1: very different journey for you. And they start telling you,

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Speaker 1: they're like, we don't know if this will work, but

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Speaker 1: you could try it. You have to pay for it.

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Speaker 1: We don't know if this would work, but you could

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Speaker 1: try it. You have to pay for it. There's like

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Speaker 1: two things that we know will work, and we have

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Speaker 1: very limited support for that, so most things are out

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Speaker 1: of pocket. So I'm already like, okay. My husband and

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Speaker 1: I were not making a lot of money at that point.

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Speaker 1: We're pretty young, you know, in our in our marriage

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Speaker 1: and our journey. And the next that was a Thursday,

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Speaker 1: and the next day my husband lost his job and

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Speaker 1: I became the primary breadwinner. I was not making a

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Speaker 1: lot of money, Oh.

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Speaker 2: My god, not at all. We were even doing at

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Speaker 2: that time.

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Speaker 1: I was working for a church. Oh, I was not

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Speaker 1: getting pay very much at all. I was working for

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Speaker 1: a church. Yeah, heart was, yes, Yes. So my background

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Speaker 1: is journalism, and I've been writing for foundations, for churches

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Speaker 1: like things like that ever since, you know, for a

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Speaker 1: long time. That's what I was doing for nonprofits, just

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Speaker 1: doing whatever I could do to support us at that point.

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Speaker 1: And so I remember sitting like on the tub and

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Speaker 1: closing the door and just bawling. I'm processing the kind

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Speaker 1: of journey that my I don't know what that journey is,

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Speaker 1: but I know it is, according to the doctor, something

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Speaker 1: I should grieve, you know, And I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: Is aheaded I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: Was that helpful or hurtful? The doctor telling you to

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Speaker 2: grieve that it was?

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Speaker 1: In some ways it was both. It was definitely hurtful,

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Speaker 1: and I think I don't think that he meant to

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Speaker 1: be hurtful. I think he understood the limitations of the

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Speaker 1: resources and their understanding of what it was to me

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Speaker 1: on the spectrum, and I think he wanted to give

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Speaker 1: me realistic expectations. It was that was very difficult language

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Speaker 1: I would I don't think I would tell anybody that,

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Speaker 1: and I doubt now a doctor would use that language

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Speaker 1: at all. You know, it is a very different landscape,

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Speaker 1: and my son is more impacted. You know, autism is

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Speaker 1: a spectrum, so some one person can say I have

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Speaker 1: autism and it looks it's almost like undetectable. You would

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Speaker 1: never know they know, and they could be masking or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And then there are people who are on the spectrum

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Speaker 1: who you only have to interact with them for a

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Speaker 1: minute and you know, okay, something's going on here.

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Speaker 2: That's my son got it.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, and I think I'm still processing both of

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Speaker 1: the both of us, my husband and I are both

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Speaker 1: still processing that. And the next day my husband loses

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Speaker 1: his job and I'm like, okay, you just told me

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Speaker 1: there's this thing that's going to cost a lot of money,

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Speaker 1: and now we have even less. And it really just

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Speaker 1: sent us into a v very dark season. And I'm

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Speaker 1: always careful to say I'm not saying it was a

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Speaker 1: dark season because my son was diagnosed. It was a

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Speaker 1: dark season because of this combination of things that happened

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Speaker 1: to us.

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Speaker 2: So what was that Monday? Like?

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Speaker 1: Very hard, I think, And for me, I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: it then, but the pressures of that, I went into

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Speaker 1: a depression. And I think it's something I wrestled with

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Speaker 1: for years and really didn't know because it felt like

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Speaker 1: it would kind of come and go in different seasons.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't until twenty twenty one that I was

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Speaker 1: actually diagnosed with depression and started treating it like I

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Speaker 1: got on medication, like I got on antidepressants, I got

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Speaker 1: in therapy and all of those things. But so for

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Speaker 1: years I would just think this is a part of

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Speaker 1: how I'm processing what's happened. Is sometimes I'm really really

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Speaker 1: sad because I think people who are not who don't

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Speaker 1: manage medical, medical condition, disability, whatever it is, sometimes I

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Speaker 1: think there's a lot that they take for granted. You know,

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Speaker 1: my son, he was speaking till he was around eighteen

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Speaker 1: months and then he lost all of his language and

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Speaker 1: he didn't speak again until he was five years old.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And then it was only very limited expressive language, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't know if you would ever speak again. I

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Speaker 1: mean when he spoke, I literally fell to my knees

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen and started crying because I hadn't heard

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Speaker 1: him say anything in like three years.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And I think there's just it's if everybody's condition their

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Speaker 1: expression of it looks different, but they're certain Like you're

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Speaker 1: on your own journey, So you can't compare yourself and

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Speaker 1: where your kid is to where other people his age

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Speaker 1: are right, because you're gonna get it's gonna mess you

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Speaker 1: up if you're like, oh, my gosh, they're going to

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Speaker 1: the prom and they're doing this, and they're graduating from

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Speaker 1: college and they're doing this, and they're doing this, and

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Speaker 1: you start playing like, oh gosh, so this might never

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Speaker 1: happen for him or this isn't happening for us, and

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Speaker 1: you start to it's a dangerous kind of game to

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Speaker 1: play in your head. So you have to really start

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Speaker 1: focusing on your kid and what his journey looks like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting because we you know, obviously with the

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Speaker 2: Internet and time and social media, we have a lot

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Speaker 2: more information. Or even me and my wife talk about

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Speaker 2: this just in relation to perimenopause. Yes, she talks about

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Speaker 2: her frustration, and there's other women's like, oh, I didn't

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Speaker 2: even know that was like everything is yes, girl, me too,

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Speaker 2: and girl, I didn't know that happened. Didn't know that's

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Speaker 2: related to perimenopause. My mom didn't talk about that. But

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Speaker 2: it's not that they you know, we're like, we're not

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Speaker 2: going to teach you. It's just like it's not a

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Speaker 2: thing you had much information about, wasn't written books about,

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Speaker 2: like you had nowhere to get that advission from. I

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Speaker 2: think autism is very similar. We grew up and there

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Speaker 2: was just like blanket terms. These kids are special needs,

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Speaker 2: they go to this class, that class could have had

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Speaker 2: a myriad of learning disabilities to autism. And you hear

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Speaker 2: things nowadays like, well, we didn't have that much autism

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Speaker 2: back in the day. We did. We did, it just

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Speaker 2: didn't have the language for it. Black people have been

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Speaker 2: calling mental illnesses by a different name. He got you know,

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Speaker 2: you know how your uncle by something as simple as that.

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Speaker 2: You know, the sugar is up, that's diabetes, pressures up.

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Speaker 2: You know, they get jittery. He got the shakes. That

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Speaker 2: could be Parkinson's, that could be anxiety, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean. So it's not like these things are new.

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Speaker 2: There's just not a lot of information about them. So

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Speaker 2: I imagine at that time you can't google what's going.

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Speaker 1: On, I mean, and you and it wasn't reliable. You know,

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Speaker 1: It's like everybody has an opinion, but no one has evidence, right,

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Speaker 1: and so you're just kind of like throwing darts in

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Speaker 1: the dark, but every dart is very expensive. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: have a lot of money, and it's like, Okay, well

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Speaker 1: we'll try this, and we'll try this, and we'll try this.

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Speaker 1: And I think in hindsight, you know, I always say.

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Speaker 2: We don't get emotional the clip a polygo viral.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I think that, especially early on in

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Speaker 1: our journey, I think about how much money we spent

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Speaker 1: trying to like fix him. Yeah, you know, yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I think there's a real fine line between doing everything

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Speaker 1: possible as a parent. Of course, you will to get

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Speaker 1: the best outcomes for your child, like that's that's like

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Speaker 1: base mom, that's what you're gonna do, and the acceptance

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Speaker 1: of the fact that your child is on his own

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Speaker 1: path and some of those things will never happen, and

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Speaker 1: maybe you should just spend more time, just spend more

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Speaker 1: time with your kid. You know. I sometimes wish I

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Speaker 1: just especially when he was like younger, just like it

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Speaker 1: was going to this therapy and going to that therapy,

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Speaker 1: and you've got to go to this, and you've got

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Speaker 1: to go to that, and it was just this constant,

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Speaker 1: like hamster kind of cycle of things that you have

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Speaker 1: to do to make sure he gets better, right, And

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Speaker 1: I think I understand the pressure of that, lived at

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Speaker 1: the pressure of that, but I think there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of the balance of that is accepting this is his journey.

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Speaker 1: We're going to do everything we can, but we're also

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Speaker 1: we spent so we threw away so much money. And

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Speaker 1: when I say threw away, you kind of don't know

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Speaker 1: because at the same time, I'd be like, what if

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Speaker 1: I hadn't done these things, And the gains that he

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Speaker 1: has made, he wouldn't have made if I hadn't done

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Speaker 1: this or this or this. So it's not like I

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Speaker 1: think it was a complete waste. But when you couple

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Speaker 1: that with my husband losing his job the next day

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Speaker 1: and our money just kind of drying up, it took

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Speaker 1: us deeper into it, added financial strain, a lot of

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Speaker 1: financial strength, and added strain to our marriage. You know,

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Speaker 1: it was just a very it became an even darker season.

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Speaker 2: So I want to touch on that financial thing. But first,

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Speaker 2: you mentioned in the sort of pre interview that you

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Speaker 2: wanted God to fix your son. Yeah, and you had

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Speaker 2: to accept that that might not happen. What was that

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Speaker 2: acceptance life? Because you know, we prayed. God is the

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Speaker 2: god of a healer, Jehovah, Genrah, all that stuff. We

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Speaker 2: go to church like I want a miracle. I'm assuming

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Speaker 2: some pastor or a preacher wanted to pray for your

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Speaker 2: son like my parents.

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Speaker 1: You know, my parents are pastors.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: Wow, So I grew up in church spaces and you

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Speaker 1: definitely Uh, it's like, oh, we don't receive.

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Speaker 2: That, you know, I know somebody told you that, yes,

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Speaker 2: shoot me, we don't receive it. They diagnosed him. I

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Speaker 2: don't receive that diagnosis.

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Speaker 1: We don't receive.

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Speaker 2: I don't claim that over y'all claiming all that stuff that.

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Speaker 1: They say, we don't claim it. We don't receive.

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Speaker 2: They can be following off the bone. I don't receive

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Speaker 2: that broke my leg.

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Speaker 1: And when I look back at like, you know, you journal,

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Speaker 1: you know, you get up every morning and you meditate

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Speaker 1: and you journal, and when I look back at the journals,

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Speaker 1: it's just this absolute desperation for God to do something

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Speaker 1: that may not have even been the plan, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you're just like, but everything the culture that I

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Speaker 1: was in at the time was telling me this is

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Speaker 1: supposed to be fixed. When you ask what is acceptance,

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Speaker 1: I think it is ongoing. Like there are some days

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Speaker 1: where I still haven't resolved things and I'm like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's not our journey. That might not ever happen, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think that there was. It was very difficult,

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Speaker 1: and I think I was angry. Yeah, I think I

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Speaker 1: was angry and resentful and God, yes, yes.

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Speaker 2: It's like what do you do when God doesn't fix

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Speaker 2: it and you've asked him to?

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Speaker 1: You just keep asking. You get frustrated. I think you

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Speaker 1: go through a lot of motions. You go through like

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Speaker 1: faith motions, you know, and it's like, these are the

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Speaker 1: things I'm gonna fast, I'm gonna pray, I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: all these things, and then get really mad inside when

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Speaker 1: none of it works. And I think that for me,

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Speaker 1: what that looked like was also losing myself in work.

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Speaker 1: I am a very driven person and I hide and

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Speaker 1: work a lot. Yeah, and so I think work can

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Speaker 1: be an escape for me. Believe me, my therapist unpacts

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Speaker 1: this all the time.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: Anybody who's no idea.

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Speaker 2: I don't know any person who's just like find more

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Speaker 2: work that'll be better. This is a foreign concept to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm introducing you to thank you.

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Speaker 2: I might ponder on this later.

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Speaker 1: You should you should take it under advisements. And my

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Speaker 1: husband and I are opposite, you know, because my husband

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Speaker 1: is like, we should slow down, we should slow down,

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Speaker 1: and we should.

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Speaker 2: Talk about this is even more forest.

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Speaker 1: I get it, crazy quirk. Yeah, my wife work work work,

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Speaker 1: So I mean that causes friction, you know, because my

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Speaker 1: husband's like, we should slow down, we should do this

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Speaker 1: and we should talk. And I'm like, oh no, no,

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Speaker 1: we should be on the go.

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Speaker 2: I love how this is not gender neutral.

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Speaker 1: No, oh no, it's not. We swap a lot. Yea,

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Speaker 1: we swap a lot.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm like, oh no, no, no, We've got to go, go, go,

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Speaker 1: go go, because if I keep going, going, going, going, going,

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Speaker 1: I don't have to think about it. I don't have

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Speaker 1: to hurt about it. I don't have to wrestle with

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Speaker 1: it because it's it's happening in the background, you know.

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Speaker 1: And my job, especially because my husband's job went away.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm like, well, of course I have to work

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Speaker 1: because I have to make that. Yeah, I have to

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Speaker 1: I have to work, and even and I was working,

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Speaker 1: but it wasn't enough.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I mentioned we woke We woke up one morning both

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Speaker 1: of our cars were just gone, repossessed.

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Speaker 2: You ain't telling them you had that baby was no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: My husband, job questions collected, you got.

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Speaker 2: There, you go.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So we wake up one morning, our cars are

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Speaker 1: just gone, you know. Yeah, And we had to do

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Speaker 1: a short cell in our house and oh my god.

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Speaker 1: There were times and we didn't have like food in

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Speaker 1: the house and our friends would just bring us foods.

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Speaker 1: It was very dark. It was a very dark time,

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Speaker 1: probably one of the darkest seasons of our marriage and

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Speaker 1: over our life.

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Speaker 2: I want to take a quick break from the show

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Speaker 2: to hear from our ad sponsors. So I imagine marriage

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Speaker 2: be hard, marriage had just anyway, yes, right. Financial strain

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Speaker 2: always adds to that, right, health battles, whatever that looks

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Speaker 2: like you, your husband or in this case, your son

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Speaker 2: also adds to that. And then financial stress to where

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Speaker 2: you are like losing resources. Right, to lose your car

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Speaker 2: means the way I go to get money is now harder.

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Speaker 2: How did you not lose your mind?

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Speaker 1: Maybe I did and it's kind of a blur. You'd

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Speaker 1: have to ask my husband. He probably was like this girl.

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Speaker 1: You know, one thing I will say that I think

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Speaker 1: is and I talk about this sometimes and I think

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Speaker 1: about it. There's certain things, there's certain ways that you

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Speaker 1: grow and certain things I think that you learn only

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Speaker 1: in hard times, only through hard times. Like not all

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Speaker 1: things you know for sure, some things you can learn

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Speaker 1: when everything's going great. There are certain things you only

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Speaker 1: learn when you're struggling and when you're wrestling and when

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Speaker 1: it's difficult. And that was a season where the only

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Speaker 1: way I can learn these certain this certain set of

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Speaker 1: things about myself, about God, about my husband, about our

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Speaker 1: life was through this struggle. And I think I got

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Speaker 1: a little bit of perspective on that because I could

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Speaker 1: see myself changing, Like there's a certain kind of like

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Speaker 1: category of compassion that I never had before, and my

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Speaker 1: son gave that to me. And I'm so grateful for him.

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Speaker 1: And I started out thinking, oh my gosh, he's my

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Speaker 1: responsibility and I am going to be teaching him all

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Speaker 1: these things. And I have learned so much more than

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Speaker 1: I'm sure taught him. I started a we talk about

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Speaker 1: the gaps and like waivers and resources, and I am

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Speaker 1: very cause driven. I am like you know how you

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Speaker 1: have like the different personality things. One of my highest

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Speaker 1: personality traits is belief. And when that's the case for

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Speaker 1: you're always like, there's something wrong in the world, It's

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Speaker 1: time for me to fix it. And so my like

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Speaker 1: three years into our diagnosis, I started a foundation for

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Speaker 1: families who have children with autism and I ran it

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Speaker 1: for eleven years.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And that was huge for us because it took

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Speaker 1: me out of self pity because so many people had

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Speaker 1: it worse, you know. It gave us a lot of perspective,

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Speaker 1: and that was really really big for us. When I

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Speaker 1: started that foundation, helping other people started pulling me out

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Speaker 1: of kind of this doldrum. And also my mama would

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Speaker 1: always say, you take care all the people. God take

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Speaker 1: care of you, you know, And I don't know that

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Speaker 1: it's true true, but for us it was true. Like

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Speaker 1: I talked about the fact that we, you know, woke

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Speaker 1: up and we lost these cars, and I remember praying.

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Speaker 1: I was like, God, I don't ever want to have

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Speaker 1: to make a decision to choose between a car payment

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Speaker 1: and paying for my son's medical bills or therapy again,

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Speaker 1: and for seven years we never had to buy another car.

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Speaker 1: We always had two cars. People get us cars sometimes

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Speaker 1: we weren't even asking. At one point we had three

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Speaker 1: cars sitting in our driveway that people had given us,

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Speaker 1: and I had to find someone to give the third

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Speaker 1: one too. So really, yeah, it's like approving, you know. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like even in the midst of like something being that hard,

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Speaker 1: it's like I found in my its strengthened my faith

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Speaker 1: because God showed me who he was, who he could

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Speaker 1: be to us, even if it wasn't in the way

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Speaker 1: I was asking for him to be. It was him

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Speaker 1: walking with us through it.

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Speaker 2: I love I love that because you know, sometimes in life,

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Speaker 2: you we want God to do the thing that we

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Speaker 2: wanted to do, and that doesn't always happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: When my brother was sick, you know, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna pray and believe God for total healing. And

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Speaker 2: I did, and he didn't get healed and he died. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so we were like, hey, okay, so clearly misunderstood me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I said, yes.

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Speaker 2: He died. There's a big difference between you could have

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Speaker 2: little healing. He would have been cool. Death can't change that.

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Speaker 2: So it's like, and I you know, you don't want to.

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Speaker 2: I don't even want to say you don't want to

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Speaker 2: get mad at God. The Bible is full of people

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Speaker 2: getting mad at God. The Bible is full of people

433
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 2: being like now you said to me, you know, people

434
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: getting mad at God all the time. But I think

435
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 2: sometimes it's just really frustrating to not understand why things

436
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 2: are happening, especially if you feel like if this had

437
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 2: not happened, life would be easier. But I totally agree

438
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 2: with what you said and not saying this is one

439
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 2: to one, But I think it's so important that some

440
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 2: things you only learn through hard times. And I'm not

441
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 2: clear clarity not saying your son is a hard time.

442
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: I just think that's a true thing about life. Some

443
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 2: times only these lessons can be learned through adversity. When

444
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 2: it seems like man, I don't know what, like, I'm

445
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 2: even get to the next day, much less the next

446
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 2: we got to know you and your husband were probably

447
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 2: like bruh, yeah, come on, now you know, And I'm curious, like,

448
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 2: how did you ever get to writing with all of this?

449
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: You this could have been the end of your story,

450
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 2: and I'd been like Kennedy Ryan, y'all, but you somehow

451
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: became a world renowned author world. No, Kennedy, you ain't

452
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 2: gonna downplay yourself on this podcast. On my word, I

453
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 2: won't let you do it. Not downplaying myself, but I

454
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,360
Speaker 2: will not let you downplay yourself. You are a world renown.

455
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 2: After Kennedy Ryan come to the front, Melissa said that

456
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,360
Speaker 2: I've been in your book talks. I've seen women from

457
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 2: all shapes and sizes up in there. Back to the brim.

458
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 2: You signing fifteen thousand books. That's a world.

459
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,400
Speaker 1: That's the world.

460
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 2: You got TV shows and programs, that's world. On peacock.

461
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 2: Peacock is world. Some stuff us peacock is war. They

462
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 2: had the lip. It was our peacock. That's a world.

463
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: God, So.

464
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 2: That was all in you at the same time that

465
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 2: you were dealing with this. What did this cross paths? Like?

466
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,120
Speaker 2: How did this even come about? Yeah?

467
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: So I mentioned that I started a foundation. Yeah, so

468
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 1: I'm running this foundation, and we are running programs for

469
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 1: single parents who have children with autism. We're doing like

470
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,239
Speaker 1: holiday programs to make sure them and their all their

471
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 1: children have Christmas gifts. We started doing marriage retreats. Really Yeah,

472
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: there was a high high divorce rate or even if

473
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: not actual divorce inside the relationship. Sure, especially with new

474
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 1: diagnoses and people who have been doing it for a

475
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,479
Speaker 1: very long time, they just get burnt out. And so

476
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 1: we started doing marriage retreats and then we would do

477
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: we did resources, like especially families who had those gaps,

478
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 1: they didn't have money for things, especially in the summer

479
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: when the school drops off or whatever. So we were

480
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: doing all all of this and it was a lot.

481
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,120
Speaker 1: And then from a I was, you know, my background

482
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 1: is journalism, special needs parenting, So I started writing for

483
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 1: like Mom kind of magazine you know, around special needs

484
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: parenting and Chicken Suit for the Soul. Like all everything

485
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: I was writing was around this this aspect of my life.

486
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: And then of course I was raising my own kid,

487
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: so everything was that and I was like, I really

488
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: need an escape. So I I used to read Romance

489
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: like nobody's business. I was in the eighth grade when

490
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 1: I started reading Romance. My mom was horrified. She said, hey,

491
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: they go bring the devil in my house? Right, Okay, okay,

492
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: because she's a she's a preacher, right, you ain't gonna

493
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,120
Speaker 1: bring the devil in my house, right.

494
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,640
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you, how did you write romance

495
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 2: when a parental preacher and you there writing that sexual jop.

496
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,479
Speaker 2: Now I'm putting things in each other in your book's Kennedy,

497
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 2: and that's not right.

498
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, so here's the journey. That's a

499
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: journey that So when I was in the eighth grade,

500
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: I discovered romance novels and I was like, this is amazing.

501
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: I mean I'm coming from a very for sure suppressed

502
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 1: place and I was like, this is amazing. And I

503
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: didn't know that my mom would hate it, and so

504
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: I didn't try to hide it. And she was like,

505
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: what is that. You know, it's like a harlequin presents

506
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: or something. I was like, oh my gosh, they ran

507
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: a battle. And she was like, you were not allowed

508
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: to bring that in my house. And so as one does,

509
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 1: I started smuggling them in.

510
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 2: Of course, not allowed. Yes, I don't mean I'm going

511
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 2: to stop. I'm not going to start.

512
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: And so I would go to the library and I

513
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: would check out legitimately books that I would read. I

514
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: was reading Tony Morrison and B. B. Moore Campbell, and

515
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,680
Speaker 1: then I would have a whole purse full of all

516
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: these other books, and I would smuggle those in and

517
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: I would stuff them in my mattress and stick them

518
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: under the bed and hide them in the closet. So

519
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: I was a racial romance reader from the eighth grade

520
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: all the way till I graduated the room.

521
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 2: Their eyes were watching God, Hello, mother, Hello, good night.

522
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 2: He touched my nakedness right there.

523
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I was. I was hiding it from her,

524
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 1: and I did not tell her until I was in

525
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: my thirties. You've got to understand, there was not a

526
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,959
Speaker 1: conversation we had until she was well into being a grandmother. Okay,

527
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: So I didn't tell her until So when I graduated

528
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: from high school, I went to college and I just

529
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: stopped reading Romance. I was focused on college and all

530
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: the things I needed to do and around. I don't know,

531
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: I had been running the Foundation for a few years,

532
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: and I had been doing all of this for a

533
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: few years, and I was like, I really need something

534
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: just for me, and I was feeling so burnt out,

535
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: and I remembered how much I loved romance, and I

536
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: started reading Romance once again. And I'm a writer, I

537
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: mean That's what I've always did. And so I was like, well,

538
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 1: I am a writer, maybe I should just give it

539
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 1: a try. And I had no real expectations. But I

540
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: wrote a romance novel and the first people really trip

541
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: out on this. But the first romance novel I ever

542
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: wrote was called Hindsight, and it was actually before I

543
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 1: Let Go, which became this breakout thing, which is what's

544
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: now on Peacock, which is all of this stuff. And

545
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:32,479
Speaker 1: I thought it was not good. Really, yeah, let The

546
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: only people I let read it were my husband and

547
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: my sister, and I was like, this is trash and

548
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 1: they were both like, no, it's great, and I was like,

549
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 1: you're my sister and I sleep with you, so there's

550
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: no impartiality. And so I just kind of forgot about that.

551
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: And then later on I joined a writer's group and I,

552
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: you know, started building up. It's a separate muscle writing

553
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: like as you know, articles and things like that, as

554
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: a separate muscle than writing commercial fiction. So I started

555
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: learning that and I ended up getting a book deal.

556
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: I got my first book deal at forty years old.

557
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: Wow. That's yeah, that is in of itself, that is amazing.

558
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: I always fun fact about me. I'm enamored with people

559
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 2: who find success later in life, because I think so

560
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 2: many times we think, oh, it hasn't happened for me,

561
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 2: It's never happened. You lived on this earth for four

562
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 2: decades before you even started a journey that made you

563
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 2: who you are and the reason you're sitting here, the

564
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 2: reason you're on peacock. And I think people just think,

565
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: if it happened happened by the time I'm twenty, it's

566
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 2: never gonna happen, Like if you ain't dead, it can

567
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: still happen, right.

568
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: And thank God, it didn't happen when I was twenty, right,

569
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, yes, there was a lie. There's

570
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: a real intersection between all of the things that we

571
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: just talked about and the preparedness that only happened when

572
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: I was forty years old.

573
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? You in the book right now.

574
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 2: You might not know you in the book, but you

575
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 2: about to walk really heavy because God was preparing you

576
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 2: for what he had planned for you and you didn't

577
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 2: even know it. Yeah, I don't come on, kid, is

578
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 2: right there right there. David was working in the field

579
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: and his brothers. I think it was David. I'm not

580
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: a theologian. I was like, you know who was the

581
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 2: brother when God was going through all the brothers, and

582
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 2: David it was David.

583
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: Oh David.

584
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I should have trusted myself. Yes, all the woman

585
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 2: was like, choose me, choose me, and it was the

586
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: one doing the work. Yes. Anyway, it's your story, not mine.

587
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 2: I'll take it that, okay, okay, so you you you

588
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: find some time to yourself, you write this, you get

589
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 2: your first book deal post forty years old.

590
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it wasn't that book. It wasn't the hindsight

591
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 1: before I let go book that was languishing under my

592
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 1: bed somewhere. It was other things. And I wrote that

593
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,239
Speaker 1: and I got a traditional book deal, which is like,

594
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: you know, there's publishing. And I published like three books

595
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: with them, made no money, no money at all.

596
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 2: This part of the story.

597
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: Most writers do not make a living writing, you know,

598
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,719
Speaker 1: like you know, and I was not making a living writing.

599
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: And that's when self publishing had just started taking off,

600
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm going to give that a try,

601
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: and so I self published my first novel and I

602
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: made as much in a day as I had all

603
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 1: three of those books of two years. Self publishing was

604
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 1: transformational for my career. Oh my god, That's how I

605
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: built my career. And the thing is, like you, I

606
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: took control of it because when you especially, I was

607
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: just like, oh my gosh, you want me. So I

608
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: wasn't like I need a big advance because I'm like,

609
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: who am I? Somebody wants me. So it wasn't like

610
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: this great deal or anything. But when I started self publishing,

611
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: I took control, you know, of my brand of everything

612
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: and just built it. And then they at a certain

613
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: point they came to me because they saw what I

614
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: had built.

615
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: Well, well, well yeah, now they're knocking on your door. Yeah, hello,

616
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 2: I'm reading Tony morre So again.

617
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: And when they came to me, they were like, I

618
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 1: was like, what am I going to write? And my

619
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: husband goes, remember that book Hindsight And I'm like, babe,

620
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: it's trash and he goes, it's not. You need to

621
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: go back to it. And that's the book that I

622
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: ended up doing when I came back traditional publishing. And

623
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: I'll never forget my agent. I'm with Cia, and my

624
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 1: agent called me and she was like, Kennedy, this is

625
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 1: the book. And I was like, what do you mean.

626
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: She was like, this is the book. I'm going to

627
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: shop this book all over town and I was like,

628
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: you are and she goes, oh yeah, And so we

629
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: ended up in like a bidding war even before the

630
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: book published. Really yes, and I would I mean, that

631
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: book would still be under my bed if my husband

632
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: hadn't been.

633
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 2: Like go back to that shout out to marrying the

634
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 2: right person. You sleep with him, but he wasn't wrong,

635
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: He was not wrong, and you know what, like this

636
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 2: is the truth for me too. And you talk about

637
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 2: your husband a lot at the book thing. What a

638
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 2: blessing to have, like the closeness and I don't mean

639
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,760
Speaker 2: like to be nasty, but the intimacy of actual sex,

640
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 2: but also a person that cares as much about you

641
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 2: to pour into you, to remind you of who you

642
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: were and believe in who you are, and then for

643
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: you to trust them enough to be like, Okay, if

644
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 2: you believe in this, then I'll believe in it too.

645
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 2: And it's becomes transformational for you. Like I tell people

646
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 2: all the time, Yeah, like you marrying the right person

647
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:35,240
Speaker 2: is instrumental in your success or your demise and working

648
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: on that marriage and maybe you and him building during

649
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 2: those tough times, somebody down with you when you ain't

650
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 2: got no cars, no fooling, and a baby with autiam

651
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 2: in an unclear world. I could be with you now

652
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: and we got some bread and some cars, you know,

653
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 2: because I've done the hardest part is done. Now we

654
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 2: can navigate this easier. So talk to me about you

655
00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: become a New York Times bestseller. Everybody's talking about you,

656
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 2: and now you're now Kennedy. I'm gonna do it. I'm

657
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: gonna stop it now. And now you're transitioning, right, You're

658
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: at the beginning of something brand new. Right TV is

659
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 2: a whole new world. Are you like, Okay, I got this?

660
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 2: Are you like I'm gonna get this, I'm gonna learn this?

661
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 2: Like where are you at right now in your journey?

662
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 1: You know? It's interesting because I think most authors are like,

663
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: I'd love to see my books on TV someday or

664
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 1: on film, you know whatever. And of course I had that,

665
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: and so when that happened, when before I Let Go

666
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: was optioned, and I'm like, oh, okay, it's going to

667
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: be on television. That's amazing. I have I have a

668
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: passion for other marginalized authors. I have a passion to

669
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: see black, brown and queer authors make their books to screen,

670
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: because we are seeing this explosion of romance novels that

671
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: are getting options. Not very many black, brown and queer ones,

672
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: not many marginalized authors are getting those opportunities. And so

673
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 1: when it started happening for me, I was like, I

674
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 1: really want to see this happen for other people. So

675
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: my team at Universal, I was like, are you usually

676
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: looking for books? And they're like, we're always looking for books.

677
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,760
Speaker 1: And I just started feeding them black brown and queer

678
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: authors who's really I thought were worthy of making it

679
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 1: to screen. I did that for like a year. I'm

680
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: just sending them to them. And then one day my

681
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: agent calls and says, I just had an interesting call

682
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: with Universal, and I was like, about before I let go,

683
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: and she goes, no, they want to offer you a

684
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 1: first look deal, and I said, what is that.

685
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 2: Not? What is that?

686
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? I turned it down. I was about to turn

687
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: it down. Yeah, So okay, this is.

688
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 2: The thing, and if you eat, cut my phone number

689
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 2: because if you'll Sam, if you don't tell her to

690
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 2: text me, because if you don't know, you can't turn

691
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 2: it down. If you don't even know.

692
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 1: I vaguely knew I had not officially turned it down,

693
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: but I was, so, I already told you I came

694
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: from like self publishing, and so there's a wariness. Oh

695
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 1: you want to control my content? Oh you want to

696
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: So you're very cautious about these spaces like, oh, you

697
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 1: just want to take my stuff you want? And so

698
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know about that. I think

699
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: I just wait, I don't think I want to do that.

700
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 1: And my agent was like, can we hop on a call?

701
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

702
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: And I was like, sure, what do you want to

703
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: talk about?

704
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 2: You know?

705
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: And she's like, Kennedy, I represent a lot of authors.

706
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,919
Speaker 1: None of them have ever been offered first look deals

707
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 1: with studios. She was like, this is very rare for

708
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 1: an author to be offered a first.

709
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 2: Look deal prior to any of your stuff ever be made. Right.

710
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: No, And she was like, you have always told me

711
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 1: that you are passionate about other authors, you know their

712
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 1: stories making. This is your chance. And so I'll never

713
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 1: forget Jordan Moblow, who oversees like the vice president of

714
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: creative Acquisitions. I hope I didn't get your title wrong, Jordan,

715
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: But he oversees the team that acquired my book. They're

716
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 1: looking for IP all the time, whether it's books, articles, podcasts,

717
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: and you know you've done deals, so you know, it's

718
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: business affairs and your lawyers and your agents and everybody's talking.

719
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 1: And Jordan was like, I want to talk to Kennedy

720
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 1: because back then Jordan and I have become friends and

721
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 1: he's the one I'm sending all these books to. He goes,

722
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: I want to talk to Kennedy. And my agent was like,

723
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: would you talk to Jorda? And I was like, of course.

724
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 1: I talked to Jordan all the time. And Jordan was like,

725
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: I really think we could do something special together, you know.

726
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 1: And he was like, think of it like an MFA

727
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: and television, and he talked about all those you know,

728
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 1: stories that you say you want to get out there.

729
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 1: This is your chance. And so I took the deal.

730
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: And so now the thing that's most exciting. Of course,

731
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 1: it is exciting to me that I have a first

732
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 1: look deal and that Universal is developing my contact. But

733
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: I also have a producer's deal, and the producer's deal

734
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: is to develop other people's stories.

735
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 2: Sounds like Shonda Rhimes. That's what I'm feeling like. And

736
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 2: I just want to point out you have the reluctant

737
00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 2: King about you, and the King I told Sarah Jakes Robertson,

738
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 2: and it's true for you to the reluctant king is

739
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: the person that should be king, because the person that

740
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: wants to be king always wants to be king for

741
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 2: the wrong reasons, to will power, for riches, for wealth,

742
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 2: for whatever. But the person who wants the good of

743
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 2: the people never wants to be king. You didn't seek

744
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 2: out a first look deal. You didn't seek to option

745
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 2: this thing. You just said, Oh, I want to help

746
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 2: other people. You are the help. You are the conduit

747
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 2: to them. And watch this. I venture to say, because

748
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 2: of who you are, in your name and your reputation,

749
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: their trust would only happen them might only happen because

750
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 2: of you, because it's like, Okay, I know Kennedy won't

751
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 2: do me wrong, so maybe I'll do it. If there's

752
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 2: no Kennedy, it's like, nah, you're not gonna take the

753
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 2: same way you were. You're not gonna take advantage of

754
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 2: my stuff. And because I've been in this business for

755
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 2: a long time, people would rather not do anything with

756
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 2: their idea, then let's somebody to take advantage of it.

757
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 2: I'd rather die on the vine than to feel taken

758
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 2: advantage of and because of who you are and just

759
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,439
Speaker 2: your heart for people you're going to I can see

760
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 2: it clear, and I'm not a prophet, So if it

761
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 2: comes out wrong, why are you listening to me? Anyway?

762
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 2: Who the hell cares what Kevin stage stinks at a

763
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 2: time like this, But I can tell you I do know.

764
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 2: IP is scarce, very scarce in Hollywood. That's why we

765
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 2: see movie number seventeen. We've seen it, y'all. Please, we

766
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 2: are begging. We don't need the eighteenth rendition of the

767
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 2: man killed the Man. So the fact that you are

768
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 2: doing this, it's just such a testament to who you are.

769
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: And I can't wait to see what you become. I

770
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 2: don't want to lose you. I want to ask you

771
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 2: a few more questions. Hey, guys, taking a quick commercial break,

772
00:40:41,760 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 2: We'll be right back. How does it feel to know

773
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 2: that you true outside of everything you've done, Like, at

774
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 2: the end of the day, your books are tremendously impactful

775
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 2: to the readers that read them. Right, there's a lot

776
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 2: of church girls who grew up like you, suppressed, repressed.

777
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 2: There ain't nothing down there but the Holy Ghost. You

778
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 2: hear me. Everything you got down there is for that

779
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 2: man when you get married, you ain't got to enjoy it.

780
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 2: You give miss children, you have his biscuits and gravy. Ready,

781
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 2: whatever you get, You're lucky if you have it. That's

782
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 2: what it's preached. I sat up in that church. You

783
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 2: give it to women when he wants it, and he

784
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 2: takes it if he needs it. Who cares? If you

785
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 2: stay up there and you lay down and you take

786
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:48,919
Speaker 2: them pumps, and that's it. This sounds like it is.

787
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: This is color purple sex. You take this and you

788
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: get his livery and onions on the stove when he

789
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 2: comes home from the mill. Who cares what you like?

790
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 2: And women have found your books and found parts of

791
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: themselves as a result, And that is a tremendous gift

792
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 2: you have, Like I will say, unlocked certain people not

793
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 2: to be. I'm not even being nasty, Like you have

794
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 2: unlocked people to be. Like you know what this actually

795
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 2: sex can be for me? It can be enjoyable. Maybe

796
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 2: I can tell my husband what I like. Maybe I

797
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 2: can say this, Maybe this can get me in the

798
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 2: mood after I've had a long day and I know

799
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 2: I actually want to do something like this, Like you

800
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 2: can be a tool to unlock pleasure for people, and

801
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 2: they are very appreciative of that. You know what I

802
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 2: mean for couples, you know, men as well, not just women.

803
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 2: I think men as well learn a lot from your

804
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 2: books about you know, Listen, the porn industry is a

805
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: billion dollar industry. It is a terrible representation of actual sex.

806
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 2: It is very male driven. For the male gaze. Women

807
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 2: be like, please don't try that stuff on me. That

808
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 2: ain't got nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

809
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 2: Most women would rather read your books to a man. Yeah, hallelujah.

810
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 2: And I think it's so important because you grew up churchy.

811
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

812
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 2: And you would think that these two things are yeah, separate.

813
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,479
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people. First, I think that

814
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 1: most of the most of the impact that I hear

815
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: from women about my books is not around sex, like

816
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: I think most of it's around therapy and around people

817
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 1: who are crying, like there's a book about a woman

818
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: who has lupus, you know, and being loved outrageously. It's

819
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: about setting a standard for yourself out seeking wholeness and

820
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: not waiting for someone else to complete you. It's about

821
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,839
Speaker 1: not accepting a lower standard, but out of desperation, out

822
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: of waiting for someone else to create a life for you. Like,

823
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: I think those are the things that I hear the

824
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,760
Speaker 1: most impact around around mental health. And then of course

825
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: there is that aspect too, for sure. And I think

826
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: that it's so funny because I remember, and I can

827
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 1: say this because my husband I had forty people in

828
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: our wedding, so nobody will know who it is I'm

829
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 1: talking about. But when one of the people in my wedding,

830
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: one of my bridesmaids, heard that I was writing romance,

831
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,800
Speaker 1: she was like, oh, so you're not a Christian anymore.

832
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,839
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, yeah, actually I still. I mean,

833
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 1: my faith hasn't gone anywhere. If anything, it's stronger than

834
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 1: it's ever been. She's like, oh, well, you can't write

835
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: romance and still have faith, you know. And people have

836
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 1: these And it's so funny because the book that's coming

837
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: out this week's Score, the hero is a PK, you know,

838
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: and he's wrestling with his the experiences he had in church,

839
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: and his father was a pastor who was unfaithful to

840
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: his mom. And like a lot of the things that

841
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: I have seen in church spaces came into this work.

842
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 1: And so a lot of people who have church hurt

843
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: and who they're reading this book and they're like, you know,

844
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 1: I've never heard these things talked about in a Romance

845
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: novel because a lot of people think you can't have

846
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 1: faith and also have this right. And I don't believe that.

847
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: Obviously I don't.

848
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 1: It's to me, it's not irreconcilable, not at all. I

849
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 1: don't have to reconcile my faith with the fact that

850
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: I write or read Romance. You know, I don't have to.

851
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: You better drop your flats canny and tell them I

852
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 2: ain't got to reconcile a thing, not.

853
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 1: A thing, and I don't. I'm I'm past apologizing to

854
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 1: people for what my faith looks like. I grew up

855
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: with what I call heirloom faith, which is like it's

856
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 1: just passed down from your family from generation to generation

857
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,839
Speaker 1: and you never interrogate it, you never question it, you

858
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 1: never try to figure out what it is.

859
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 2: Girl, not in a podcast you in the book though,

860
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 2: you walking heavy. So Lissa just over there stomping like

861
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 2: these audio a for the audio people driving it coffee,

862
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 2: the crash you thought the police banging all your door?

863
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: What is that banking in the background.

864
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 2: Heirloom faith is a is a term, though you really

865
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: just dropped a anvil, because I promise you you gave

866
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 2: me words for things that I'm thinking. And the Bible

867
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 2: says study to show thyself approved, so you gotta interrogate it.

868
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: To study something, you have to say, what does this mean?

869
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 2: What does this mean for me? What does it mean today?

870
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 2: What did it mean mean? I'm not just accepting what

871
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 2: y'all said for seven generations because that nobody asked a question.

872
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 2: But I'm very curious. And that doesn't mean I'm going

873
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 2: to throw it away. It's because I actually want to

874
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 2: understand it better and I love that. I'm gonna steal

875
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:39,799
Speaker 2: it and I won't credit you, and I'll started before

876
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 2: this podcast airs so I can say I did it first.

877
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 1: But people want you to be one thing or the other,

878
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm so glad that, And like I said,

879
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: I'm glad that I came into all of this when

880
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 1: I was older, because when I was younger, I was

881
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 1: so malleable, and I allowed people to put me in

882
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: these boxes. And there's no way that I would have

883
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,359
Speaker 1: even had the curve to step out and talk about

884
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: these things or write these things because I was so

885
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:08,240
Speaker 1: afraid of what people would think. And I just and Melissa,

886
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 1: I'm sure knows, like literally, when you go through perimenopause,

887
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: you start to lose estrogen, And there are studies about

888
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: when you when women lose estrogen our f's, we lose fs.

889
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: We literally do we start to with estrogen. As estrogen

890
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 1: leaves your body, you start to lose f's. There are studies, so.

891
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 2: You ain't gotten one left losing them.

892
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just stop caring what people think as much.

893
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,359
Speaker 1: And you just have a very low tolerance for people

894
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 1: trying to put you in a box and control you.

895
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 1: And that's where I am, you know, so I don't

896
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 1: when people are like how could you? And I'm like,

897
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: I don't even hear you, Like I don't even I

898
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:48,959
Speaker 1: don't even hear you. I don't even. I literally don't

899
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: care what you think.

900
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 2: I want to go back to your point about the

901
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 2: books of More Than Sex. When I tell you, I

902
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 2: don't remember which title, but I know in the books

903
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 2: she she fell and lost her baby. Yes before I

904
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: let go sports spoiler alert, When I tell you I

905
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 2: was listening to your book in the gym, had I

906
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 2: had to step away and I had to sit in

907
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 2: that parking lot and cry. I said, now, hold on,

908
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 2: why am I crying on the trap? She It was

909
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 2: so like it was. Your writing is so vivid. I

910
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 2: see why it can be adapted to TV. I was

911
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,760
Speaker 2: watching a TV show, like I can see the characters.

912
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 2: I can hear the jingle of the door when they

913
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 2: went to the restaurant, when they flew to to believe

914
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 2: it was North Carolina to open the second one, I say,

915
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 2: oh my god, it's a big deal. Like you know

916
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, I'm watching it. You're so articulate,

917
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,280
Speaker 2: you know, And I think I can totally see why

918
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 2: women read it for one thing or both and enjoy

919
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 2: both parts of it.

920
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: Now, imagine being a woman who actually lost a child.

921
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 2: And that's what I was going to get to the

922
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 2: point of, Like all.

923
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:58,879
Speaker 1: The messages I get, yeah, the emails, I get, all

924
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: the you know and those, and I talk about writing

925
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 1: from intention, and I always talk about and this is

926
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: like where the Church Girl comes in. I'm like, when

927
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 1: I release a book, I'm not releasing it. I'm sending

928
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: it on a mission. I am deploying that book to

929
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 1: accomplish something. And I have a particular person or people

930
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 1: in mind. When I wrote that book, I was thinking

931
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 1: about women who had lost children that way. I was

932
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: thinking about wmen who are grieving depression, and for black men,

933
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it. I was thinking about therapy,

934
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 1: and I was thinking about how there's so much stigma

935
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 1: around mental health in our community all over, but in

936
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 1: our community, and so I'm writing to that. And so

937
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: when I am hearing back from people who are like,

938
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 1: that's me, and I got that, that for me is

939
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 1: the first That is the first line of impact. Of course,

940
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: you want to make lists and you want to sail,

941
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: but that is the first thing where I know I

942
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 1: did what I set out to do, is getting that

943
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 1: response where people are like, I'm back in therapy now,

944
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 1: and that was me.

945
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 2: That's life changing.

946
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: It is it is if I.

947
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 2: Hadn't been in therapy, I remember having the thought I

948
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 2: could have been like, Okay, I see myself in this man.

949
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 2: I consider myself masculine the way he does. I can

950
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: send him myself. I'm gonna go to therapy for my son,

951
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 2: just so he sees it. I'm gonna fake, fake the.

952
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 1: Funk, and then you get caught up in and next.

953
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 2: Thing you know, all the time I'm really in here.

954
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: I've lost count of how many women have said that

955
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 1: their husbands have gone to therapy after reading that book

956
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: when they resist, and how many have gone to couples

957
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 1: therapy after that. Yeah, So for me, that's like, that's

958
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 1: what it's about.

959
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 2: You just came at a perfect time. I just needed

960
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 2: to hear this Christian part too. I mean, you are

961
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:44,760
Speaker 2: heaving sid even you because I think, I mean no perimenopause.

962
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 2: But at my big age of forty two, I care

963
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 2: less and less how you feel. I feel so strongly

964
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 2: in my purpose. Yes, that you're feeling about it, that.

965
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:58,880
Speaker 1: It's irrelevant, that is not my concern.

966
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 2: You ain't even my target. I know how you feel,

967
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,359
Speaker 2: I know where you are. You likely gonna die with

968
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 2: that same mentality, and that's okay, go with God, crispy.

969
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:13,839
Speaker 2: But I love that your faith is your faith, Your

970
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 2: occupation is your occupation. You were before you were a

971
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 2: book writer, author, You worked in church. I'm sure you

972
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 2: did some being in high school. You're gonna be at

973
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 2: a TV show and you could be an astronaut in

974
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,760
Speaker 2: twenty years. You've been a Christian the whole time. Yes,

975
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 2: you know, and it's always who you are. And it

976
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 2: impacts what you do, but not necessarily the job that

977
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,399
Speaker 2: you do. Before you go, please let people know where

978
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 2: they can get the book, all the things you say

979
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 2: at the end of the podcasts.

980
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Score is the book that's coming out

981
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 1: May nineteenth. And I'm really passionate about indie bookstores and

982
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: about black owned bookstore. Yes, and so I have a

983
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 1: campaign like if you go to any indie so I

984
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 1: encourage people. You can buy it from Amazon, bars nowhere

985
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: if you like. But I have a special campaign where

986
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 1: there's a group of and it's on my website. It's

987
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: all that Kennedy Ryan Wrights dot com. It'll say black

988
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 1: on bookstores click there, and any of those bookstores you

989
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 1: buy from you get like special art and incentives and

990
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 1: indie bookstores and of course anywhere you want to buy it.

991
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:18,240
Speaker 1: But I am always encouraging people to shop local, indie

992
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 1: small black and.

993
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 2: That also, if you don't know them, is more heavily

994
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 2: weighted in the New York Times Bestseller algorithm. However, they

995
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 2: decide it's more heavily weighted if you buy from any

996
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 2: any any bookstore. And to support black home bookstores, which

997
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 2: there's a lot but not enough, so get the book. Guys,

998
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 2: Kennedy Ryan never disappoints. Watch our television programs when they

999
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 2: come out. I'm auditioning for one of the men from

1000
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 2: a dad bod no.

1001
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:52,240
Speaker 1: Muscles, and I have so many audition tables.

1002
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 2: Oh I know, I know your dms are crazy with

1003
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 2: the thanks, and you know I always I had wanted

1004
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:04,240
Speaker 2: to play the character any of them you had available

1005
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 2: to play. But best of luck to you. I know

1006
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 2: what that's like. I know you wish you could cast everybody,

1007
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 2: unfortunately not able to just me. Now my problem if

1008
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 2: you don't get it, if I already got it, what

1009
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 2: God has for me is for me and man. But

1010
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,439
Speaker 2: thank you, guys. Please follow Kennedy Ryan. She is a light.

1011
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 2: She's I mean, obviously you can see. She's a beautiful

1012
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,839
Speaker 2: person inside and now amazing husband, amazing friend. We were

1013
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 2: supposed to go to dinner together. She canceled on us.

1014
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 2: So I have a new TikTok series called Kennedy Ryan

1015
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 2: Lies to her friends and I tied my hungry specifically

1016
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 2: for this. She chose herself, but no truly support her. Guys.

1017
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 2: It is money well spent. She will do great care

1018
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 2: with your time. You will not regret it and support

1019
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 2: her for this book and anything else she does. I'm Kemon,

1020
00:53:52,840 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 2: Stage's see you next week. This has been a Unanimous

1021
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 2: Media original. Not My Best Moment was produced by iHeart

1022
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 2: Podcasts and Unanimous Media. It was hosted by me Kevin Fredericks.

1023
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 2: Executive produced by Stephen Curry, Eric Payton and Charlotte Sumter Vijett.

1024
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 2: Co executive producer Kelenna Maria Cutney. The executi producers of

1025
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 2: the iHeart Podcasts are Sean Titone and Jason English. This

1026
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 2: series was produced by Peter Calter and Jabbari Davis. Co

1027
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 2: producer Kurt Redmond. Special thanks to Stephen Curry and Will Pearson.

1028
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 2: Not My Best Moment is a production of Unanimous Media

1029
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 2: and iHeart Podcasts. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit

1030
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 2: the iHeart Radio app, app a podcast, or wherever you

1031
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 2: get your podcasts.