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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My sister in law is neglecting my niece's hair. I

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Speaker 2: tried to help, and now she's furious with me.

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Speaker 3: Neglect your sister in law.

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Speaker 2: I twenty two female, have an older brother, twenty eight male.

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Speaker 2: Let's call him Adam. Adam is engaged to Sarah, twenty

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Speaker 2: six female. They have two children, Zach eight male and Zara,

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Speaker 2: six female. By the way, this comes from Miserable Head

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Speaker 2: eight zero five on our slash Okay Storytime Separate It. So,

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Speaker 2: Adam and Sarah have been on again, off again for

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Speaker 2: about ten years or so.

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Speaker 3: They dated in high school and obviously got pregnant young.

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Speaker 2: They broke up and got back together quite a few times.

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Speaker 2: After Zach was born, I looked after him quite a bit. Eventually,

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Speaker 2: Adam and Sarah got a place together and that's when

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Speaker 2: they had Zara, the niece I am referring to.

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Speaker 3: After Zara was born, it was clear my brother, Adam

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Speaker 3: was not the father.

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Speaker 2: Oh boyo sh My family is Italian Scandinavian. Sarah's family

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Speaker 2: has strawberry blonde hair, blue green eyes, and I believe

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Speaker 2: she mentioned being English and Scottish at some point. Regardless,

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Speaker 2: Zara came out with dark skin, dark eyes, and the

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Speaker 2: cutest full head of hair you ever did see. Everyone

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Speaker 2: was surprised, but no one stormed off. Both families got

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Speaker 2: plenty of baby cuddles and shared responsibility for her. In

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Speaker 2: the first week or so, it gave Sarah and Adam

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Speaker 2: time to discuss the situation. Genetic tests and paternity tests

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Speaker 2: were done. Zara was not genetically my brother's. Adam held

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Speaker 2: his head high when he confirmed to the family that

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Speaker 2: Zara was not his. He then said that he didn't

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Speaker 2: care and that she was his and Sarah's. Now. My

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Speaker 2: family was overjoyed that we got to keep this little

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Speaker 2: bundle of joy. To protect privacy of all involved, I

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Speaker 2: will keep the Zara explanation to bear details. Sarah and

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Speaker 2: Adam had a house that they were renting with Sack.

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Speaker 2: Adam had a drinking issue. Sarah kicked Adam out after

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Speaker 2: a fight where they broke. Adam was moved out for

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Speaker 2: three months. Sarah went on a date with a cute

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Speaker 2: black guy that she met at her community college where

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Speaker 2: she took night courses. One thing led to another. He

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Speaker 2: was younger than her, and she attempted to contact him

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Speaker 2: after Zara was born.

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Speaker 3: He does not want to be in her life. Onto

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Speaker 3: the plot. Okay, so she didn't cheat or no, no,

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Speaker 3: she did, she did. No, Yeah, she went on a

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Speaker 3: date with with the black guy and then but I

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Speaker 3: thought I think they had broken up, but maybe just kicked.

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Speaker 3: I see what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Sarah utterly refuses to do Zara's hair.

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Speaker 2: Zara has four A four B hair.

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Speaker 3: That's fully neglect. That's full on the of a child.

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Speaker 2: If you don't do their hair, it's coily and beautiful

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Speaker 2: and long. She was paying someone at her salon to

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Speaker 2: do Zara's hair every other week, and that person no

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Speaker 2: longer works there, or that is what Sarah is saying. Zara,

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Speaker 2: who used to rock braids and buns, now had dry,

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Speaker 2: itchy scalp and hair shoved into a tight pony.

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Speaker 3: Hair is ridiculous. That's ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: I have asked Sarah about it multiple times and even

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Speaker 2: offered to learn on my own time to help with

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Speaker 2: Zara's hair. I have a decent amount of experience styling

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Speaker 2: curly hair, as my mother and I both have thick,

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Speaker 2: dark curly hair. My brother is blond and blue eyed

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Speaker 2: like our father. Sarah always brushed me off and said

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Speaker 2: that she would get around to it, and never did.

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Speaker 2: A few more weeks went by, and every time I

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Speaker 2: saw Zara she would be fussing with her hair or

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Speaker 2: itching her head. It made me so sad to see

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Speaker 2: her like that, and remembered how if my mom didn't

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Speaker 2: do my hair for me, it got dry it she

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Speaker 2: and nodded. I couldn't imagine how uncomfortable it was for Zara.

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Speaker 2: She used to love jumping into my arms and showing

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Speaker 2: me her newest do. I finally had enough, and on

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Speaker 2: the night I was babysitting, I sat Zach in front

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Speaker 2: of the Polar Express for the first time and took

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Speaker 2: Zara with me into the bathroom. I came prepared with

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Speaker 2: about a dozen saved YouTube tatorials and full shopping bag

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Speaker 2: from the black owned hair studio in town. I showed

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Speaker 2: them pictures of Zara's hair, and they loaded me up

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Speaker 2: and gave me a ton of useful tips and YouTube

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Speaker 2: channel suggestions. I sat her down on the car and

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Speaker 2: got to work. I washed her hair in the sink.

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Speaker 2: I moisturized and detangled. I decided on a cute twisted

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Speaker 2: French braid style and finished off with doing her edges.

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Speaker 3: That sounds like so much fun.

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Speaker 2: This sounds great. She looked cute. She was so happy.

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Speaker 2: She couldn't stop looking at herself in the mirror.

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Speaker 3: That's so cute. When Sarah came home, the kids were

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Speaker 3: already in bed.

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Speaker 2: She thanked me for looking after the kids and went

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Speaker 2: to go check on them. I was putting on my

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Speaker 2: boots when she stomped up to me, and the following

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Speaker 2: exchange occurred. Sarah, why on earth do you do you

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Speaker 2: think that you can mess with my daughter's hair? Me.

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Speaker 2: I just washed and styled it. Zara likes it. Sarah,

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Speaker 2: it's coming out tomorrow. Don't do her hair again. I

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Speaker 2: am her mother. Me. Look, I'm sorry. Zara's hair was

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Speaker 2: bugging her. I tried to talk to you about it

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Speaker 2: several times. I won't do it again, but please don't

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Speaker 2: take it out. She likes it, Sarah, save it. I

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Speaker 2: wash it when she has her baths and I brush

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Speaker 2: it out of her face every day.

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Speaker 3: Me Zara needed to have her hair done. It looked terrible.

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Speaker 2: Her scalp was irritated. Sarah says, Oh, so you think

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Speaker 2: I'm a terrible mother?

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Speaker 3: Is that it? Oh it's exhausting, so exhausting.

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Speaker 2: Then the conversation devolved and it ended up with her

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Speaker 2: asking me to leave. I drove home and I thought

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Speaker 2: I would let her cool down. This was about a

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Speaker 2: week ago, and she had since turned my family against

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Speaker 2: her family. My family thinks I did nothing wrong. My

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Speaker 2: mom even told me. She brought up to Sarah that

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Speaker 2: curly hair is a lot to handle herself weeks ago

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Speaker 2: and basically offered to help with Tzara's hair completely independent

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Speaker 2: of me. My mom got essentially the same response as

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Speaker 2: me from Sarah. Sarah's family are all on her side,

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Speaker 2: aside from a few. She's basically trying to imply that

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Speaker 2: I did the same thing as dyeing her hair bright

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Speaker 2: pink or getting her ears pierced without talking to her.

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Speaker 2: Her family is telling me that I should have not

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Speaker 2: touched Zara's hair, that Zara likes her hair and likes

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Speaker 2: matching with insert random female cousin with pin straight red

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Speaker 2: hair who sometimes wears ponytails. I was incredibly disrespectful for

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Speaker 2: insinuating that Sarah is a neglectful mother. I was even

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Speaker 2: told that I am lucky if I can ever see

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Speaker 2: my niece alone again.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: If she likes matching the ponytails, like it's just different hair, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and she still obviously likes, you know, doing these other hairstyles. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: So like, why not.

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Speaker 3: Just let her out on all that? I think, like

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Speaker 3: really quick, because I know there's more. I think that

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Speaker 3: there are stories where we've seen like family members who

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Speaker 3: like are not the same race as their like young

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Speaker 3: niece or grandchild or something, and then they like completely

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Speaker 3: mess up their hair because they think they know what's best, right,

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Speaker 3: and they don't ask. Yeah, which is somewhat a similar situation,

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Speaker 3: and that we're seeing that OPI did not ask or

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Speaker 3: like get permission. But I think it's different here because

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Speaker 3: she's actually trying to take care like we have. Yea

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Speaker 3: is a thing where a parent is not taking care

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Speaker 3: of their child's hair, right, and Opie's like, okay, well,

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Speaker 3: this child is experiencing a lot of discomfort and.

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Speaker 2: Trying to help right today, Sarah has posted the annual

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Speaker 2: Christmas tree decorating on Facebook, and Zara has her hair

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Speaker 2: done up in some sort of fun and it looks

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Speaker 2: brushed but very dry.

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Speaker 3: I am not invited to.

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Speaker 2: The family Christmas at their house this year, instead going

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Speaker 2: to my mom's out of town. Tear me to shreds

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Speaker 2: if I'm wrong, Reddit, But I don't think I am

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Speaker 2: am I the a hole for insinuating that my sister

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Speaker 2: in law is neglectful for not doing my niece's hair.

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Speaker 3: And there is an update, but what's our answer? No,

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Speaker 3: I think she's neglectful. I think if you have any

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Speaker 3: you know, any parent is not taking care of their

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Speaker 3: child's hair. Yeah, regardless. If that's like, let's say you

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Speaker 3: have a child who has straight hair and you're not

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Speaker 3: brushing their hair, yeah, neglect Yeah. And if you have

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Speaker 3: a child who has cool like hair that needs a

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Speaker 3: lot of care, yeah, and you're not doing all of

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Speaker 3: the stuff that is required, that's also neglect right Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Edit to add my brother is an absentish parrot, okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if he's not doing anything about Tzar's.

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Speaker 2: Hair, yeah, he works four weeks on, two weeks off

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Speaker 2: at a pipeline camp. When he is home, he takes

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Speaker 2: the kids out for a separate daddy dates.

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Speaker 3: All that's cute.

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Speaker 2: He video chats with the kids almost every night he's

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Speaker 2: at camp.

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Speaker 3: He works a lot. Sarah also works full time. I

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Speaker 3: did approach my brother first privately. Cool.

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Speaker 2: We were hanging out doing early Christmas shopping for the

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Speaker 2: kids and I brought up Zara's hair. He got tens

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Speaker 2: and tried to get me to drop it. I brought

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Speaker 2: up that I wouldn't mind helping if Sarah was having

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Speaker 2: trouble managing it. He said that Sarah had it under control.

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Speaker 2: He absolutely loves Zara. She is a daddy's girl. She

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Speaker 2: can pick out and name every screwdriver and drill bit

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Speaker 2: in Adam's toolbox.

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Speaker 3: Zach is much more of a mommy's boy.

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Speaker 2: He likes to crochet with his mom and loves to

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Speaker 2: play hockey in the driveway.

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Speaker 3: By the way, you can play us.

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Speaker 2: On Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app, and

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Speaker 2: you can find more full episodes stories just like this.

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Speaker 3: Just search Okay story time, search it up.

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Speaker 2: They are genuinely a happy family, and I do not

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Speaker 2: get the impression that Sarah and Adam think of Zara

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Speaker 2: differently unless this entire time their acting was out of

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Speaker 2: this world. I'm curious if maybe there is something going

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Speaker 2: on in their relationship like some people are saying, or

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Speaker 2: if something happened to trigger this. And there are some

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Speaker 2: relevant comments. Comment number one says, so your sister in

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Speaker 2: law slept with the black man. Her husband freeave her,

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Speaker 2: but she refuses to do her daughter's hair because that

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Speaker 2: is acknowledging how she cheated on her husban. She only

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Speaker 2: wants to acknowledge this little girl's whiteness, but she is

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Speaker 2: also black. She is a bad mother for not acknowledging

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Speaker 2: her daughter's needs, not the a hole. You took the

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Speaker 2: initiative and did the right thing. She should have asked

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Speaker 2: you to come back and give her some lessons. Your

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Speaker 2: looks and how you feel about yourself tie into your confidence.

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Speaker 2: And there is more comments. But I don't fully agree

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Speaker 2: with that. I mean, because we did see that, like

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Speaker 2: technically sho.

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Speaker 3: Didn't she you know what I mean? I think that

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Speaker 3: comment is reading into things. But I think that the

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Speaker 3: later part is I agree with of saying, oh, he's

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Speaker 3: not in the wrong and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it might be jumping to conclusions about like the

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Speaker 2: racial stuff, you know. But I do know that that

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Speaker 2: is also like a huge part in like a lot

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Speaker 2: of black people's culture is their hair, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean. So I do think that that would be

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Speaker 2: like an important thing to teach them to how to

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Speaker 2: take care of.

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Speaker 3: Their own hair.

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Speaker 2: So comment number two says, yeah, I rolled my eyes

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Speaker 2: when Sarah said Zara wants to be like her redheaded

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Speaker 2: cousin with straight hair. Zara will have self image issues

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Speaker 2: because Sarah and her family don't acknowledge Zara is bi

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Speaker 2: Rachel sad for Hopefully Opee's family can talk sense into

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Speaker 2: Adam and get Zara a proper stylist again. Comment number

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Speaker 2: three says, not the ahole. Sarah is clearly aware that

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Speaker 2: her child is half black, and that is why she

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Speaker 2: paid someone else to do her hair. Clearly, she hasn't

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Speaker 2: found someone else, and now her child is suffering because

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Speaker 2: she can't be bothered to learn how to care for

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Speaker 2: curly hair. That said, why do you insist on only

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Speaker 2: talking to Sarah? Your brother said that they are their kids,

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Speaker 2: So if Sarah won't listen, clearly, why haven't you tried

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Speaker 2: talking to your brother? She is neglectful and clearly has

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Speaker 2: no interest in caring for her POC child. She mentions

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Speaker 2: washing it when she has baths, so she is washing

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Speaker 2: it every day, even when non POC shouldn't wash their

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Speaker 2: hair daily unless it's really dirty. She is damaging her

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Speaker 2: child's hair. Unfortunately, this isn't your business, and the only

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Speaker 2: way you can help is when she is older and

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Speaker 2: is able to take care of her hair herself. Until then,

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Speaker 2: that poor child is stuck. You're the a whole comments

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Speaker 2: are ignorant and that's the end of it.

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Speaker 3: Only we do know that Ope did talk to her brother, right, yeah, right.

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe the commenter is wondering if they can do

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Speaker 2: that like after does, because I think she talked to

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Speaker 2: the brother like first. But I guess she could try again.

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Speaker 2: But it does seem like that's not really an option.

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Speaker 3: No, I think, I mean, I think all you can

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Speaker 3: do is if it's not to the point where you know,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't seem like it's to the point where you

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Speaker 3: could get the CPS involved or anything. All you can

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Speaker 3: do is know that you didn't do anything wrong. You

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Speaker 3: tried to best, Yeah, and like offer your self and

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Speaker 3: you know, your services and stuff to your niece whenever

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Speaker 3: she wants them. And whenever she's able to like go

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Speaker 3: to you and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because then like if if it is a money

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Speaker 2: issue that she's like not taking her to stylists and

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Speaker 2: stuff anymore than like, why is it not? Why is

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Speaker 2: it an issue that like op is doing the hair,

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Speaker 2: Like that's just I think it's literally, I think it's

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Speaker 2: it seems like it's just a thing of the sister

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Speaker 2: in law thinks that any help from ope is is

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Speaker 2: is slight to her and her parenting.

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Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story. My in laws

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Speaker 3: trying to hijack my wedding, So I told them they

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Speaker 3: should all marry each other if they want to control everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that sounds like a great response. That's great. I thirty

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Speaker 3: two female, was engaged to be married December twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: three with Amy thirty four female, but I canceled the

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Speaker 3: wedding because of her parents. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Competitive Topic twenty two on the Okay storytime suped

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Speaker 3: it so context. Amy's family are weird in that they

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Speaker 3: kiss each other on the mouth, hugs, slash kiss each

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Speaker 3: other every time they leave the house within a single

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Speaker 3: day every day, and have no filter when they speak.

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Speaker 3: Her dad has an ear fetish and always nibbles on

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Speaker 3: his grandson and granddaughter's earlobs. Okay, that's weird. He wants

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Speaker 3: tried to caress my ear lob, but I reacted fast

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Speaker 3: and slapped his hand away. He's weird, that's weird. So okay,

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Speaker 3: if it's a it's a it's a fetish. Yeah, you

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Speaker 3: should not be entertaining that with you children. No, well,

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Speaker 3: I think I think it seems like it's like Opie's

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Speaker 3: it's like exaggerating that, well, not exaggerating, but is making

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Speaker 3: the commentary. So no one else else is like thinking

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Speaker 3: of it as a fet like yeah, yeah, but he's like, no,

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Speaker 3: that's it's like weird, that's a fetish. That's weird. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: heir spicy desires. Amy told me in front of him

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Speaker 3: that that's just how he shows love. He's like, hey,

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Speaker 3: don't be mean about it. Her mom would tell me

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Speaker 3: away from anyone else that I was fat. She was

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Speaker 3: a very obese woman herself, by telling me, if you

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Speaker 3: do fifty sit ups every night, you'll lose that belly

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Speaker 3: patch you have, or have you tried wearing spandex. I

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Speaker 3: would tell Amy about how all of her family's quirks

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Speaker 3: or comments would bother me, but she said to get

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Speaker 3: over it and ignore them because they would never change

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Speaker 3: or even apologize for being who they are. Got to

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Speaker 3: stand up for your partner, man, got to stand up

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Speaker 3: for them. This bothered me a lot, but it was

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Speaker 3: easy to just stay quiet then argue or try to

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Speaker 3: set boundaries because I was in the relationship with Amy,

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Speaker 3: not her parents or siblings. Oh And Amy's parents built

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Speaker 3: a one vedue of apartment for Amy in the back

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Speaker 3: of their house, so I had to constantly see them

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Speaker 3: if I want to go see her. Anyway. Amy asked

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Speaker 3: me to marry her in the fall of twenty twenty two,

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Speaker 3: and we started to plan the wedding in spring of

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty three. On the first day that we started

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Speaker 3: to plan the wedding, I said, we should start on

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Speaker 3: the venue so we can get an idea of what

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Speaker 3: we want to do. We went to the first place

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Speaker 3: we saw on an ad and fell in love with

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Speaker 3: it immediately. It had all black walls with gorgeous tables

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Speaker 3: and chairs and a photo backdrop to pass away for

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Speaker 3: It was big enough for fifty to one hundred guests,

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Speaker 3: which was perfect as I didn't want a big wedding

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Speaker 3: because I already had been married before. This venue did

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Speaker 3: not allow for booze bottles at the table, no byob

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Speaker 3: but it came with the option to have bartender serve booze.

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Speaker 3: We liked that, as Amy and I don't drink but

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Speaker 3: have guests that did. We wanted it to be a

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Speaker 3: safe experience with guests being carded and having drink limits

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Speaker 3: so it wouldn't get rowdy. Save this info for later.

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Speaker 3: Amy put a deposit down as I was just more

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Speaker 3: and more excited for the wedding. We had add fights

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Speaker 3: here and there because of her family, and we were

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Speaker 3: both on the fence about getting married. If you're on

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Speaker 3: the fence, hold off postpone. Yeah, you shouldn't be on

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Speaker 3: the fence about getting married. You should be like, whoa,

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Speaker 3: we're getting married, right right?

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Speaker 2: Good advice I heard one time was like, wait as

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Speaker 2: long as you can to get married, because if even

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Speaker 2: part of you is like a little like, oh, don't

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Speaker 2: get married, don't get married, not yet anyway, then you have.

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Speaker 3: To break up. But just like wait, it's like wait

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Speaker 3: until you have the relationship is really solid ready. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I just didn't like that. Amy never stood up to

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Speaker 3: her parents and let them walk all over her and

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Speaker 3: treat her like a child. Well, we tell Amy's parents

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Speaker 3: that we picked a venue, and immediately her mom was

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Speaker 3: mad she wasn't invited to come along. We said, we

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Speaker 3: didn't know we were going to pick it, but we

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Speaker 3: loved it and wanted to set the date. As we

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Speaker 3: had not set a date yet. We started to go

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Speaker 3: over the details of the contract and they hated that

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Speaker 3: they couldn't be yob. I've never been to a wedding

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Speaker 3: where you can it's byob. Her dad's reason is that

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Speaker 3: he's Hella Mexican and wanted to buy a bottle of

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Speaker 3: tequila for each table. I said, absolutely not because my

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Speaker 3: side of the family doesn't drink either, and they'd be

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Speaker 3: offended at that gesture. We told them we liked that

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Speaker 3: the booze would be controlled, because both Amy and I

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Speaker 3: know that Mexican parties can get out of control real

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Speaker 3: quick when booze is involved. They didn't want to hear

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Speaker 3: the rest of my ideas for the wedding or see

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Speaker 3: any pictures, so we left it at that. In the

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Speaker 3: week after that, I had to go out of town

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Speaker 3: for a weekend without Amy for a family emergency on

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Speaker 3: my dad's side. Her family took that opportunity to go

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Speaker 3: off on their own to look at other venues. I

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00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 3: was being sent texts and pictures from Amy about a

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Speaker 3: new venue. I was slowly getting upset because Amy kept

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Speaker 3: assuring me that they were looking at other venues to

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Speaker 3: make her parents happy and feel a part of the wedding.

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Speaker 3: She also assured me that nobody would be doing anything

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Speaker 3: without consulting the both of us. I get back from

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Speaker 3: my trip and Amy said she wants to plan a

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Speaker 3: girl's outing to go check out the venue that she

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Speaker 3: had been sending me picks of. I don't want to go,

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Speaker 3: because I said, what's the point if we already put

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Speaker 3: down a non refundable deposit to the venue we both chose. Again,

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Speaker 3: Amy said, it's just to make her parents happy. When

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Speaker 3: we arrived, the outside looks so bad already, and behind

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00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:53,040
Speaker 3: it was home depots. Stop not looking good from the start.

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Speaker 3: What if we got married by the home depot? Got married?

381
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 3: Said the Denny's party. But we walk in and the

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Speaker 3: place is set up for a King signetta. It's a

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Speaker 3: huge place for up to four hundred people with giant

384
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 3: light up trees at each table, huge fifteen sign prom

385
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Speaker 3: style lights everywhere, and a huge dance floor. It was

386
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Speaker 3: not fitting this small intimate wedding I had pictured in

387
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Speaker 3: my head. Oh, I don't think they want a small

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Speaker 3: intimate wedding. I think they're thinking big old wedding. There

389
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 3: a big old part of time. The venue coordinator started

390
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 3: mentioning what all comes with the venue and I started here, wow,

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00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 3: wow wow. I walked slower than everyone, and I grabbed

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Speaker 3: Amy's eight year old niece and took her on the

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00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,879
Speaker 3: dance floor to twirl her around and ask her if

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Speaker 3: she would want a place like that for her kin Sannea.

395
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 3: As we were dancing and laughing, Amy's mom claps her

396
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Speaker 3: hands to get my attention and tells me you need

397
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Speaker 3: to stop messing around and start looking at color themes

398
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 3: and pick tablecloths which your future wife. I normally don't

399
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Speaker 3: step back, but I was pissed off since we got there,

400
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,159
Speaker 3: and I immediately told her Amy's got it taken care of.

401
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,360
Speaker 3: I've already had a wedding of my own. She twisted

402
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,720
Speaker 3: up her face but didn't say anything, but I knew

403
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 3: it bothered her. We leave the venue and had to

404
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,679
Speaker 3: eat lunch, but Amy's mom was the only one that

405
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 3: refused to eat. On our way to lunch, in the car,

406
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 3: she started to show me wedding dresses and I interrupted

407
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 3: her and said, don't worry about that. I have my

408
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,240
Speaker 3: own family to handle what I'll be wearing. Amy dresses

409
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,359
Speaker 3: like a male and was planning on wearing a tux

410
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 3: for the wedding, So I guess Amy's mom wanted to

411
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 3: have input on my dress. Once lunch is over, and

412
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 3: we all can see that Amy's mom is hell upset.

413
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,600
Speaker 3: The guard ride back to our house was silent and awkward.

414
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,239
Speaker 3: Once at their house, Amy's mom starts to blow up

415
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 3: on me, saying how rude I am when all she

416
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 3: wants is to celebrate that her only daughter is getting married.

417
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 3: I said, it's one thing to be happy for us

418
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Speaker 3: and another to hijack the wedding by making their own plans.

419
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 3: That's when I find out that Amy's parents put down

420
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Speaker 3: their own deposit on the venue without telling me, and

421
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 3: that Amy knew and was backing them up. That's ridiculous.

422
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Speaker 2: Wow, so you already have a deposit on another venue, right,

423
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,119
Speaker 2: So you've already both agreed, right if you knew that

424
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Speaker 2: they wanted to be involved and that you were gonna

425
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,200
Speaker 2: be okay with that, then like, why would you make

426
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Speaker 2: this non refundable deplat I lost it and told them

427
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 2: they should all marry each other then if they want

428
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 2: to take over the wedding, and I stormed off. Well,

429
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 2: the next day, Amy's dad shows up at my parents'

430
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Speaker 2: house demanding that my dad tell me I shouldn't be

431
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 2: ungrateful for the money he's going to spend on the venue.

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Speaker 2: By the way, we would not be ungrateful if you

433
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 2: went and listened to full episodes of stories like this

434
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 2: on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app.

435
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 3: Just search. Okay, storytime and there's a little bit left

436
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,400
Speaker 3: to the story. Let's get into it. Amy and I

437
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 3: didn't want anyone to help us pay for the wedding

438
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 3: because we knew you lose control when someone else is

439
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,680
Speaker 3: footing the bill. So they're not even paid for it. Yeah,

440
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 3: what they're just saying, Oh, we're probably saying like, oh,

441
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 3: we paid for the deposit that they didn't want.

442
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Like I think I think maybe OPI is saying, like,

443
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 2: you know, originally we didn't want this because of this

444
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 2: problem yeah, here we are.

445
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 3: I lost it then and there and canceled the whole thing.

446
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,439
Speaker 3: I had a long talk with Amy about the future

447
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,239
Speaker 3: and how I was worried that my life would be

448
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,960
Speaker 3: controlled by her parents all the time. She said, how

449
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 3: did I not think I was not only marrying her,

450
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,160
Speaker 3: but marrying her whole family? I said, peck, No. If

451
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,400
Speaker 3: I had known that, I never would have said guest

452
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 3: in the first place. So we broke off the engagement

453
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 3: and the relationship of two years. And there are some comments,

454
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 3: but before do you have any final comments of your own?

455
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 3: That's just so sad.

456
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 2: Sad, but also like I really wonder, like because if

457
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 2: they're already kind of unsure about getting married, like I

458
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,120
Speaker 2: really wonder how strong the relationship was before this point.

459
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 2: Like if like this seems like a problem, yeah, like

460
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 2: you know, like having the parents too involved, Like that's

461
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 2: an issue. But if it's enough of an issue to

462
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 2: like call off the wedding, then like.

463
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 3: I don't think it was. Yeah, man, well, I think

464
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 3: also the problem here is that it's not like, I mean,

465
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: tons of people know that when you marry someone you're

466
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 3: marrying their family. But the problem here is that Amy's

467
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,399
Speaker 3: not willing to stand up for op at all and like,

468
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 3: over and over lets her family walk all over her.

469
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 3: So it's not like, oh, I have a crazy family

470
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,360
Speaker 3: and you're gonna have to deal with them. Sometimes it's

471
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 3: I have a crazy family and they control everything I do. Right, Also,

472
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let them control everything that you do. Yeah,

473
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 3: So you just kind of got to deal with that. Yeah,

474
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,400
Speaker 3: And that's like no, yeah yeah. Comments Comment one said

475
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 3: you had a two year trial and were deemed not

476
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 3: guilty and set free, Go forth and live your life.

477
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 3: Comment two says, what a horror story. I'm sorry this happened,

478
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 3: but it's better to run now than later get divorced. True,

479
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,640
Speaker 3: not only did your ex fiance lie, she completely undermined

480
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 3: what you had envisioned. You discussed what you wanted with her.

481
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: If she was opposed to it, she should have said something.

482
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,880
Speaker 3: Then you don't need a complete pushover that goes through

483
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 3: life without their own thoughts and feelings. Comment three says,

484
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 3: I mean it wasn't because of your in laws. It

485
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,360
Speaker 3: was because of Amy. She didn't ever back you up.

486
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 3: You ran right through all those red flags she was

487
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 3: waving like a bowl and a bullfight, and that is

488
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 3: the end of that story. Wow, But final thought on

489
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 3: this is just you don't really know someone until like

490
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,400
Speaker 3: around the two year mark.

491
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 2: Though, yeah, honestly you think you know someone like way sooner,

492
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 2: but like it takes a few years.

493
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 3: It takes at least two years to get to know someone. Actually, yes, yes,

494
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 3: but that is the end of that story. My roommate

495
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 3: was recording me while he thought I was asleep. I

496
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 3: need to get out of here. Yeah, you knew. What

497
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 3: is he recording? Far cool for starters in typical bad

498
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 3: roommate form, he is horrible about cleaning. Classic This is

499
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 3: college housing and there are six of us in the house,

500
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 3: two people to a room. The place is nice but

501
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: very small, and so every little thing counts. He never

502
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 3: cleans his dishes on time and will leave them in

503
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 3: the sink for days. Nor does he ever wipe down

504
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 3: the counters after cooking. I know he's been told to

505
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 3: do this things throughout the past two semesters as well.

506
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 3: He treats the living room like his own personal storage area.

507
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 3: Things like his deodorant, backpacks, laptops, et cetera. Are most

508
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 3: often laying around somewhere in there. He has also been

509
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 3: asked to do something about this and has not. Plus,

510
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 3: his side of our room and closet are filthy, clothes

511
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 3: piled up randomly, and trash everywhere. No trash recently, but

512
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 3: for most of his time here they're what's By the way,

513
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 3: this comes from low phantom on the Okay, storytime severed,

514
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 3: So now on to the actual crazy stuff. After the

515
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 3: first semester of living with him, I started keeping my

516
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 3: toy filet paper to myself because he never helped buy

517
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 3: anything for the room slash bathroom. That's so annoying. It

518
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 3: still might sound petty, I know, but I was already

519
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 3: frustrated with him, and you would not believe how territorial

520
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 3: you can get about your stuff when you live with

521
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 3: five other guys. Plus, I'm on a budget and I

522
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 3: want to be the only one using the things I

523
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 3: buy and have to keep buy. And after I started

524
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 3: doing this, he still never bought his own toilet paper

525
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 3: that I know of. One day I walked into the

526
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: bathroom and saw a pile of paper napkins on top

527
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 3: of the toilet, napkins someone else bought. By the way,

528
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 3: I chose to ignore it. A few months later, napkins

529
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 3: are gone, and one day, I noticed a bottle of

530
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 3: Chlorox wipes by the toilet, which I bought. Dude, you're

531
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 3: wiping with clorox. What It doesn't sound very safe. I

532
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 3: thought to myself, Wow, he actually is cleaning stuff now,

533
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 3: and moved on. But then a few days go by

534
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 3: and I noticed nothing really looks clean and the wipes

535
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 3: are still there. The wipes are also sitting in the

536
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 3: same spot on the floor where he would always leave

537
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 3: the toilet paper. Then one day I see that wipes

538
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 3: are hanging out of the bottle, so clearly it's not

539
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 3: that the bottle is just sitting there unused. A thought

540
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 3: occurred to me, but I thought, surely he couldn't be

541
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 3: that stupid. Oh No. A day later I decided to

542
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 3: ask him about it. He actually admits he's been wiping

543
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 3: with the Chlorox wipes, and even though I already knew

544
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 3: in my wind what was going on, I was still

545
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 3: so shocked to hear him confirm it. I told him

546
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 3: not only was that stupid in general, but that the

547
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 3: wipes will really f up the plummet. He goes, Oh,

548
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 3: I didn't know that sometimes people's idiocy shocksman.

549
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 2: Honestly, Oh, I didn't know, did not sorry, what in

550
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 2: the in the toilet did anyone ever raise you at all?

551
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 3: And I responded with, well, that's why they put a

552
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 3: big label on the front of the bottle in all

553
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 3: caps that says do not flush. I told him to

554
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 3: buy his own toilet paper, and he has once or

555
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 3: twice since then, but on multiple occasions has still just

556
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 3: taken mine from where I keep it. So now he's

557
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 3: like literally stealing it. Yeah. Another time, I was gone

558
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: for a few days and when I got back, I

559
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 3: noticed my razor was sitting in a different place from

560
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 3: where I left it. Oh, no, not sharing razors. I

561
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: picked it up and it's completely filled with his facial hair.

562
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: You're not even gonna wash it out, boo. Come on. So,

563
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 3: not only did he use my things without permission, he

564
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 3: also used something that should never be shared for legitimate

565
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 3: health reasons, and he didn't even bother to clean it.

566
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: I confronted him about it, and he tried to deny it,

567
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 3: like I can't tell the difference between his black hair

568
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 3: and my red hair, and he didn't even look up

569
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 3: from TikTok while I was trying to talk to him

570
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: about it. He has left both half eaten food and

571
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 3: is dirty underwear on my side of the sink before

572
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: just one time each but still he often leaves his

573
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 3: crap crusted onto the back of the toilet seat, eww.

574
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 3: And he never washes his hands after leaving the bathroom. Never.

575
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 3: This is my freaking pet peeve slash also nightmare about specifically,

576
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 3: it's usually men. Sorry to generalize, but like men not

577
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 3: washing their hands. I have like such a fear about it, Yeah,

578
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 3: because I wash my hands maybe too much, Like man's

579
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 3: going really dry because of it. And I get so

580
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 3: afraid because it's so common for like I don't know,

581
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 3: I guys just don't wash their hands that much. Yeah,

582
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 3: which is crazy because guys, you touch your pep yeah. Yeah.

583
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 3: And also even if you're not, you're touching, you're touching

584
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 3: the seat, you're touching the flesh thing. Those all have

585
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 3: germs on them. Yeah. Wash your freaking hands, you dirty

586
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 3: dirty men, get dirty, Wash your hands. Watch you off

587
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: of the toilet please. Okay, that's food in the bathroom. Yeah.

588
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 3: Any Honestly, anytime you go into a bathroom, you should

589
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 3: be washing your hands. Yes. One creepy thing is that

590
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 3: he obviously frequently digs through our bathroom trash. What is

591
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 3: he a raccoon? I don't know why, and I don't

592
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 3: think I want to know, but he does. Often I

593
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 3: will find things on the floor next to the bin

594
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 3: that I know I threw in the bin. I also

595
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 3: noticed that things in the bin will be on the

596
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 3: top of more recently thrown away things, or something will

597
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 3: be in an obviously different place. For example, I threw

598
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 3: away in an empty package of wipes face down, and

599
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 3: a couple days later the package was face up in

600
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 3: the bin. So that's really weird and gross. This also

601
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 3: makes it even worse that he never watches them and

602
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: he can't even be bothered to put stuff back in

603
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 3: the bin after creepily digging through it. As well. Our

604
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 3: dynamic is just insanely weird and awkward. We never talk ever,

605
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 3: not a single word, not even like, hey, I can

606
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 3: turn the light off, I'm about to go to bed

607
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,679
Speaker 3: or something. The most we have spoken since when we

608
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 3: first met was the first time I told him to

609
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 3: stop doing something like using chlorox wife's toilet paper. I

610
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 3: will be the first to admit that I'm very introverted

611
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 3: and can be a little awkward sometimes, but our dynamic

612
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 3: is largely not my fault at least, I don't think o.

613
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 3: Despite me typically being very quiet the first few days

614
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 3: when we met after he moved in, I made effort

615
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 3: to make conversation and get to know him, he reciprocated

616
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 3: none of the effort. He could not have possibly cared less.

617
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 3: And this is even more weird because he's very extroverted

618
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 3: in social He talks to everyone else in the house,

619
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 3: has multiple friends on campus, and goes out to places

620
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 3: with people constantly. But for whatever rea, he acted so

621
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 3: weird and awkward around me from the beginning. He moved

622
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 3: in during winter break while I was gone, and I

623
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 3: had texted him a couple weeks prior just to introduce

624
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 3: myself and let him know I added him to the

625
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 3: house group chat. It was a very friendly, normal message.

626
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 3: A couple days go by and he likes the message,

627
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 3: doesn't even respond or say anything in return. It was

628
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 3: mildly off putting at the time, but not very But

629
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 3: when I walked into the room and met him for

630
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 3: the first time, he was super weird. He acted like

631
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 3: he had never seen another human before. I don't even

632
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 3: know how to properly describe it. A few days of

633
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 3: this and I gave up because, like I said, I

634
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 3: am very introverted and I'm not going to waste my

635
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 3: time with someone who clearly doesn't give a crap. So

636
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: we never speak, and it's really weird. Last thing, and

637
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 3: one of the worst, is that I am ninety percent

638
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 3: sure he was videoing me while he thought I was asleep.

639
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 3: I was laying in bed facing away from the door

640
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 3: and had just woken up, so I was still kind

641
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 3: of out of it, and he was in the bathroom

642
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 3: talking to a friend on the phone. He comes out

643
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 3: of the bathroom, and the moment he walks into the room,

644
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 3: I hear him Paul, and he whispers to his friend, Hey,

645
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 3: FaceTime me real quick. Then they whisper a few more things,

646
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 3: including what might have been my name, and then he

647
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 3: left the room. It isn't necessarily danging, except he whispered

648
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 3: about facetiming, and he never lowers his voice when he's

649
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 3: on calls with his friends. Doesn't matter if I'm a

650
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 3: sleep or not. He always talks very loudly and like

651
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 3: I'm not in the room at all. If I had

652
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 3: heard them on the call say something that confirmed he

653
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 3: was showing me on the call, I would have confronted

654
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 3: him and gone to Housing, but I'm not sure and

655
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 3: can't prove anything. In case you're wondering, I know he

656
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 3: isn't doing some of these things, like the toilet paper stuff,

657
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 3: due to financial issues. For one, my college is fairly expensive,

658
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 3: so if you were so broke that toilet paper was

659
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 3: a risky purchase, you wouldn't be here. I ain't trying

660
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,719
Speaker 3: to flex with that. I happened to get good scholarships,

661
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 3: otherwise I wouldn't be here. Oh well, he also buys

662
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 3: himself groceries all the time. I have been sick of

663
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: this for months, but I have reached my breaking point

664
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 3: with the bathroom trash and FaceTime thing. I really want

665
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 3: to meet with Housing about him, but I'm hesitant to

666
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 3: because our housing department is horrible and they resist intervening

667
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 3: with anything because we're adults and we should take care

668
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 3: of things ourselves. He sucks that so creepy, so creepy, creepy,

669
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 3: so uncomfy. Yeah, ew, Honestly, that is a fair expectation

670
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 3: ninety nine percent of the time. But this really seems

671
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 3: like it would be worth a formal complaint, but I'm

672
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 3: not sure. To be fair though I have confronted him

673
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 3: some and I have not said as much as I

674
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 3: should have because I hate any level of confrontation. By

675
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 3: the way, we love all levels of you joining us

676
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 3: live every weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube. Just tap

677
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 3: our profile, just tap and there is a little bit

678
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 3: left to this story. But what are your thoughts? You?

679
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: You?

680
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, lots of you.

681
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 2: And this is true because okay, gross stupid cleanliness stuff

682
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 2: at first, and then we got you digging into the

683
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: bathroom trash.

684
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 3: Yeah you know, yeah, weird, weird, weird. Why are we

685
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 3: doing that? Why? Like, what what would be in there? Yeah?

686
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 3: What you're looking for? What are you looking at?

687
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 2: Like three crack tips, tissues, yeah, face wipe wrappers like

688
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 2: what what? And then and then we bring in videotaping

689
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 2: you while you're sleeping allikey.

690
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I.

691
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 2: Feel like you gotta like put locks in your door

692
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 2: for sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Maybe even if he's

693
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 2: like taking your stuff or something like that, keep all

694
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: of your stuff just in your room, even if it's

695
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 2: like toilet papers.

696
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 3: And I used to have locks that are like you know,

697
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 3: if you don't, if you even if you can't change

698
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 3: the actual door knob you can get like temporary lock

699
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 3: things right, Oh, and also go to housing. I think

700
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 3: this is fair. Yeah, for sure. I don't mind if

701
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 3: he doesn't like me, and I know sometimes personalities just

702
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 3: don't mix. But I really don't know what I could

703
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 3: have done to provoke this behavior. I am clean, I

704
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 3: keep to myself and was friendly to him at first.

705
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 3: Sorry for the long post, but it's all just so infuriating.

706
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 3: I had to rant, if you made it this far,

707
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 3: you're the best. Oh yeah, appreciate we try, but that's

708
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 3: the end of that story. Yeah, you just gotta just

709
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 3: gotta go to housing. God, start confronting him about these things. Yeah,

710
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 3: it's very ichy. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get

711
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 3: back to the stories.

712
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

713
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 1: that keep the show going.

714
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 3: I'm so afraid of my roommate that I only leave

715
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 3: my room with an active sound recorder. Oh my goodness,

716
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 3: gotta have proof at all times. I've been living in

717
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 3: a co ed student house for a few years now.

718
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 3: A month ago, one of our old male roommates moved

719
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 3: out and a new guy moved in in his place.

720
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 3: We all have small, separate rooms but share the bathroom

721
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 3: and kitchen. By the way, this comes from single Pringle

722
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 3: Mingle on the Okay Storytime severed it. So at first

723
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 3: the guy seemed fine. He said he liked cleaning and

724
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 3: was honestly quite charming. I'm a bit of a chatterbox,

725
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 3: so I took on the roll of warming him up

726
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 3: to the place. I showed him where we keep stuff,

727
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 3: explained the cleaning schedule, and let him know that although

728
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 3: we have our own cooking utensils, we usually just share

729
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,479
Speaker 3: them for convenience. He seemed very happy with that, and

730
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: even brought his electric kettle for the rest of us

731
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 3: to use as well. Life seemed good for a while.

732
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 3: At least we're both night owls, so we bumped into

733
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 3: each other in the kitchen and chatted a lot during However,

734
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: our conversation started getting weird and uncomfortable. One time he

735
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 3: mentioned me having a very vegetarian diet, later following with

736
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 3: a lecture how he eats meat every day and I

737
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: should too. I just shrugged and said that I'm doing

738
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 3: fine with my veggies, but since he works out a lot,

739
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 3: it's normal for him to eat a lot of meat.

740
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 3: I let him try a bit of my guacamole. When

741
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 3: he suddenly offered me a small plate of a dish

742
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 3: from his country. He said it was a rice fried

743
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 3: with potatoes and spices. I don't believe him. I don't

744
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 3: need though believe him. After I took a few bites,

745
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 3: he suddenly decided to mention that it contains pork as well.

746
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 3: You freaking suck, dude, You freaking suck. If that wasn't

747
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 3: weird enough, two days later, he came to me and

748
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 3: out of nowhere, asked when am I cooking something for him.

749
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 3: When he saw me being very taken aback, he tried

750
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 3: to play it off as a joke. Me being petty,

751
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 3: I made him a bowl of soup that was way

752
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 3: too spicy for him and watched him suffer while trying

753
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 3: to finish it. Nice, nice, excellent work. I thought he

754
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 3: learned his lesson, but apparently not. Strange remarks continued. He

755
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 3: noticed one of my plants getting dry. I must have

756
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 3: forgotten to water it. He started laughing that I must

757
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 3: enjoy unliving things. And then it used to be the

758
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 3: same way back in his family home. That is a

759
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 3: red flag, super big red flag. He would buy farm

760
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 3: animals only to unlive them. A few days later, psychopaths. So,

761
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 3: I did I hear or like his home?

762
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: Well maybe they're like, I mean, I don't know, I

763
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: feel like things are different in other places.

764
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean. He's like he's specifically saying, oh, yeah,

765
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 3: I love doing that. He used to like buy animals

766
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 3: and just kill them. I mean, sorry, just unlive them.

767
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

768
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the vibe it's giving. It's not like, Oh

769
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 3: I was on a farm, you know, I'd un alive

770
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 3: an animal. It goes.

771
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like he's being like intentionally creepy, insensitive

772
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 2: about it.

773
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: Insensitive about it. Uh, and it was one of his

774
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 3: favorite activities. Yeah, okay, there we go. I tensed up

775
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 3: and said that I don't think these things are comparable

776
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 3: at all. He shrugged it all as if he hadn't

777
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 3: just said something so out of pocket. Then, without asking,

778
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 3: he grabbed my water filter jug and starts watering my

779
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 3: plants with it. Then he just left it empty on

780
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,239
Speaker 3: the counter and walked out. I was too dumbfounded to

781
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 3: say anything. On a few separate occasions, he also started

782
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 3: commenting how good, well behaved, shy, submissive, et cetera. I

783
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 3: was ah, no, you need to get out of there

784
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 3: or like report him. If this is student housing, absolutely

785
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 3: report him. This is unacceptable be here. Every time I

786
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 3: protested it, but he always said that I look like it,

787
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:40,439
Speaker 3: so I must be it. I want to throw up.

788
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 3: My last straw was him taking one of my decorative

789
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,720
Speaker 3: hand towels and permanently staining it. Our cleaning claws apparently

790
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 3: have ran out, but instead of buying new ones and

791
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 3: asking to split the costs like we've been doing all

792
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 3: the time, he decided to take the towel and use

793
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 3: it as a cleaning rag. In the morning, I told

794
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 3: him that we will need to talk about something in

795
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 3: the evening. During that whole evening he hid in his room.

796
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 3: When I confronted him about it the next day, he

797
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 3: literally stood over me and started yelling at me. He

798
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 3: said that it's just a stupid towel and it's meant

799
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 3: for cleaning anyways, and then I'm stupid for yelling at

800
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 3: him for cleaning. I told him not to cut me

801
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 3: off and to rail the conversation. My point was that

802
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 3: he has to be respectful of all the belongings in

803
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 3: the house, shared or not. Then he started yelling even

804
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 3: louder that me and the third roommate, also a girl,

805
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 3: are not allowed to shower when he sleeps, because that's

806
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 3: disrespectful to him. I told him that I will not

807
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 3: stand for this, and that all he's doing is trying

808
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 3: to change the topic. That he scoffed at me and

809
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 3: said that if I don't want my stuff touched, then

810
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 3: I shouldn't keep in the kitchen. So it's basically my

811
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 3: fault for leaving it there. Right. I can't write the

812
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 3: whole conversation here, but those were the most important points.

813
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,280
Speaker 3: After that, he noticed me holding my phone in my hand.

814
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 3: I had secretly turned on sound recording because I was

815
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 3: getting very scared. He yelled at me, why do I

816
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 3: need my phone right now? So I told him that

817
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,800
Speaker 3: he knows dang well why. He left the room, acting

818
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 3: as if I just offended his whole family. After that,

819
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 3: he pretended to ignore me that in reality, he was

820
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 3: glaring at me all the time. He was also obnoxiously

821
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 3: slamming all the cabinets and loudly sighing any time I

822
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 3: entered the kitchen. For context, ever since he moved in,

823
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,919
Speaker 3: he was using my pots for cooking. They are very

824
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 3: characteristic red ed ammel pots that can also double as

825
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 3: deep frying pants. I understood why he liked them so much.

826
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 3: These are dang good pots. I didn't have a problem

827
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 3: with it, but I noticed that they were often left

828
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 3: dirty in the sink overnight, or only clean on the

829
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: inside and left to dry with all the dirt and

830
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,439
Speaker 3: gunk still left on the outside. He would also leave

831
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 3: out his dirty dishes on the counter that would just

832
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: sit there all day, as if he was checking if

833
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,280
Speaker 3: one of us girls will clean after him. The dishes

834
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 3: and cutlery he washes are often left with visible food

835
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 3: chunks and sauce stains. He also leaves all the knives

836
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 3: blade side up on the dryer. It's as if he's

837
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 3: leaving out little traps and messes for me and the

838
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 3: other roommate, and then goes around the house and obnoxiously

839
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 3: announces how messy the house is because one of us

840
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 3: accidentally left some hair in the bathtub. I see how

841
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 3: it is. He's pedantic only when it comes to me

842
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 3: and the roommate cleaning. The second straw for me was

843
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 3: when he hid one of my pots in his room

844
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 3: all day, and when asked to bring it back, he

845
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 3: not only gave it back dirty, but also without the lid.

846
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 3: Then he quickly closed his room and left the house

847
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 3: so that I couldn't mention the lit I don't think

848
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 3: he realized that they were specifically my pots, but I'm

849
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 3: sure he did all the petty hiding because he saw

850
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 3: me using them a lot. So I played a waiting game.

851
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 3: As soon as he brought out the lid. Thinking he's victorious,

852
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 3: my plan is started. I took every single one of

853
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 3: my belongings out of the kitchen as soon as he

854
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 3: wasn't looking. I did it in a way that he

855
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,760
Speaker 3: couldn't tell whether it was me or the other roommate.

856
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,439
Speaker 3: Now the kitchen is barren, barely anything to cook with

857
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 3: no pretty towels. Luckily, the other roommate doesn't mine because

858
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: she has her own stuff also hidden in her room.

859
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 3: It seems like everyone's hiding in the room. Yeah, the

860
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 3: fact that you have to hide things in your room

861
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 3: from your room's frustrating, ridiculous. No, I have a friend

862
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 3: who had to do this with her roommates because she

863
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 3: had like really really dirty roommates who just like would

864
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 3: leave all their stuff in the sink and stuff, and

865
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 3: so she just took to literally keeping everything in a room.

866
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 3: I know all of it is just a petty game,

867
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,919
Speaker 3: but I feel like he's trying to control the whole.

868
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 3: I decided to nip this behavior in the bud, which

869
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 3: he obviously didn't like. His demeanor is still very hostile,

870
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 3: especially now that all the good kitchen utensils are gone.

871
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 3: I feel his eyes on my neck all the time

872
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 3: I'm outside my room, but I have to leave. I

873
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,760
Speaker 3: have to go to the bathroom and cook for myself,

874
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 3: I have to take showers. He still doesn't speak to me,

875
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 3: but I feel the tension. I know he's going to

876
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 3: blow up one day, and it feels sooner than later.

877
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:28,240
Speaker 3: By the way, you can blow us up by joining

878
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 3: us live every weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube, just

879
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 3: to have a robus to have it blow up. But

880
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 3: there is a little bit left to this story. But thoughts,

881
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 3: I just.

882
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 2: It's just so like uncomfortable, and it's just like, really,

883
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 2: you can't wash You're already watching the inside of the dishes.

884
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 3: You can't wash the outside, just watch the outside. Stupid

885
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 3: the thing that you like, don't need it or something.

886
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 2: No.

887
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 3: It really frustrates me when people are bad roommates because

888
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 3: I am there's always you know, there's always certain things

889
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,800
Speaker 3: that you're going to forget and you know, make mistakes

890
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 3: when you're living with other people, especially when you have

891
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 3: different standards, right, But it's about being respectful. And for

892
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: this guy, it's for this guy, he's purposely trying to

893
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 3: piss people off in this apartment. Yeah, and that's frustrated.

894
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: Especially when he's yelling, yell at anyone, especially your roommates,

895
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 2: specially your roommates. It's so weird, yeah about stupid stuff.

896
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: I have never yelled at my roommates.

897
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, I don't think I've yelled at anyone. I

898
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 3: think I've yelled at my family, but that's definitely Yeah,

899
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 3: my parents, I'm rebably yelled, but like, but they don't

900
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: count it, don't cowt But like no one, I've never

901
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 3: felt the need to yell at anyone else.

902
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never yelled at friends. I mean, I live

903
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,280
Speaker 2: at home, so I don't have roommates other than my family.

904
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 2: But like I say, I don't have friends, but I

905
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 2: don't have roommates or anything.

906
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 3: But still wouldn't yell at them. No, I've never heard anything,

907
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 3: Like I've had issues with roommates. I've never had to

908
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 3: yell at them. Yeah, like it's just it's just unsafe.

909
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:03,839
Speaker 3: It's unsafe exactly. I don't have enough evidence to show

910
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 3: my landlord yet, so kicking the guy out is not

911
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 3: an option. All I can do is keep the phone

912
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 3: on me and record everything. I'm scared. I don't know

913
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 3: what else to do. I don't think I can live

914
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 3: like that a long term, but I really like this

915
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 3: place and I don't want to move out. All my

916
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 3: friends and family know what's been going on. I have

917
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 3: a support system just in case. I will not be

918
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,760
Speaker 3: chased away, even if I'm scared as hell. You're so brave.

919
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 3: I think that since student housing, maybe if you can

920
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 3: try and find some way to get him kicked out.

921
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,839
Speaker 3: I don't know, is it student housing to be well?

922
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 3: They said, maybe it also might just be like they're

923
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 3: students in a house. Yeah that's a possibility. Yeah, but yeah,

924
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 3: see how long this lease is going for. Because this

925
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 3: isn't good. I feel like you'll be able to get

926
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 3: some proof with that those recordings. Yeah, you're like it

927
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 3: because I don't know.

928
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,760
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know how it works, but I

929
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 2: would assume and hope that like yelling like that or

930
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: something is like gand enough. Yeah, grounds for not feeling safe,

931
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 2: for getting someone kicked out or something.

932
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 3: Hopefully, hopefully, But that's the end of that story. We

933
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 3: wish you larko puh and we'll see you guys next time.

934
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: Woo.

935
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 3: My roommate forbid me from using our dishwasher. She's crazy.

936
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 3: That's your dishwasher. It's just a dishwasher, Just a dishwasher.

937
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 2: Ruby and I vibed great when we met. We talked

938
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: for one hour on two occasions.

939
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 3: Total, Like was it thirty minutes each or is it

940
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 3: one hour on both times?

941
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 2: I'm assuming both times, but we'll never know. In the

942
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 2: duration of which she revealed that she has ADHD and

943
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 2: a cat, which is cool with me because I also

944
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 2: have ADHD and.

945
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 3: I'm comfortable with cats.

946
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from amby Pure on the

947
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 2: r slash Okay story Times subreddit. So the disaster started

948
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 2: after I moved in. Of course, you're locked in always does.

949
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,399
Speaker 2: She told me not to use the dishwasher and sing

950
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 2: from nine to five pm because her room is very

951
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 2: close to the kitchen so she can hear all the

952
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:58,879
Speaker 2: sounds and because of.

953
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 3: Adhd, She gets distract put some headphones in roommate. You're

954
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 3: getting judged by two people who have eighted get out.

955
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,280
Speaker 2: Which meant I could kiss goodbye to cooking and eating

956
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 2: in that time from nine to.

957
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 3: Five, nine to five. That's miss lunch Almost didn't. I'm sorry,

958
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 3: you're telling me that you're gonna go up to Dolly

959
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 3: Parton and tell her that she can't she can't work

960
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 3: nine to five? Yeah, you need that's that's prime dishwash time.

961
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:26,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, Yeah, it's unfair because I worked evening

962
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,160
Speaker 2: ships in retail and returned only at ten pm.

963
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 3: I don't have the According to her, you can use

964
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:32,959
Speaker 3: the dishwasher at ten pm.

965
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 2: Well yes, However, she says, I don't have the energy

966
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: to cook a meal and clear up the sink at night.

967
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 3: Very due to her.

968
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,479
Speaker 2: ADHD, she needed all the stuff to be done after

969
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 2: seven pm until eleven pm, which she said initially, why

970
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:48,439
Speaker 2: are there such strict.

971
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 3: One rules here? And it's like, that's the whole day.

972
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 3: You're boring off the whole day. So you have five

973
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 3: to six, yeah, or five to seven, five to seven,

974
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 3: you got two hours two hours to do everything, eat

975
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 3: all three of your and wash all your dishes. You

976
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 3: better or you can eat or clean.

977
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 2: She revealed that she had clinical depression. This isn't a disaster,

978
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,800
Speaker 2: but for later context. She told me that she needed

979
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 2: me to take care of the cat while traveling, and

980
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 2: I was surprised because this was never the deal.

981
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: She assumed that me being.

982
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 2: Comfy with her cat meant I could take care of it.

983
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 2: Comfort levels can be different for different people. I got

984
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 2: real comfy with her cat, and she liked it.

985
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 3: She can ask if you can take care of the cat, right,

986
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 3: you can be like, hey, would you be able to

987
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 3: like cat sit for me while I'm gone?

988
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

989
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 3: She can'd be like your cat sitting. She told me

990
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 3: that if I could take care of her.

991
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 2: Cat, then she would take some money off my rent. Okay,

992
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 2: that's kind of a good deal though. That is kind

993
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:38,879
Speaker 2: that's kind of cool. But also like the way you're

994
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: going about it, Yeah, you can say it a little differently.

995
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 3: But like I don't okay, I actually don't mind that

996
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 3: part of this. Yeah, that's that's a fine deal. So

997
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 3: I started bonding with her. Little did I know I

998
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 3: had a timeline. I told her that I was careful

999
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 3: about hygiene and cleanliness, but due to my exhaustion of

1000
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 3: moving in and bipolar disorder low period, I didn't tell.

1001
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 2: Her earlier because it wasn't her business. I wasn't able

1002
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 2: to broom and mop for a while, but it wasn't

1003
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 2: a lack of interest. It was bad mental health at

1004
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 2: the time, but I made sure that my roommate's state

1005
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 2: didn't affect the rest of the house my mistakes. For

1006
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 2: four days, I wasn't able to do my dishes because

1007
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 2: of bad mental health and physical health, so she cleaned

1008
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 2: up for me, and I thanked her for that. I

1009
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 2: was careful about cleaning dishes other than another mistake. I

1010
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 2: sometimes got too tired and wasn't able to keep the

1011
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 2: dishes in the sink after eating, so I left them

1012
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,439
Speaker 2: on my table on two occasions. Yes, this attractive fruit

1013
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 2: flies mistake number two. I never did it again.

1014
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 3: Okay, I mean those are annoying things, but if you like,

1015
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 3: if you never did it again, it's only twice like it happens.

1016
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, she had to remind me twice about mopping and brooming.

1017
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 2: I tend to forget things on my ADHD not proud

1018
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 2: of it, so I offered to put the chores on

1019
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 2: my Google calendar. Now some unreasonable expectations from her. She

1020
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 2: wanted me to chill with her cat during her dinner

1021
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 2: time when I was on my day off and my

1022
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,479
Speaker 2: room is outside, because her cat only eats when someone

1023
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:56,240
Speaker 2: is present around.

1024
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 3: Otherwise the cat gets lonely and doesn't eat.

1025
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 2: So I did that when I could, so since it's

1026
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 2: not my routine, she had to remind.

1027
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 3: Me another thing.

1028
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 2: She wanted me to clean every dish until it was

1029
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 2: squeaky clean and then put it for cleaning in the dishwasher.

1030
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 2: Why the heck are we using a dishwasher if we're

1031
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,720
Speaker 2: manually washing the dishes.

1032
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, most like, you know, Newish dishwashers, if they've been

1033
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,879
Speaker 3: installed in the last couple of years or something, it's

1034
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 3: better to not, you know, to let them. I don't know.

1035
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 3: I've heard that it's better to keep a little bit

1036
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 3: like don't don't fully clean them. Really maybe it's maybe

1037
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 3: it's like good for the environment because you're not using

1038
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 3: as much water. Probably something like that. I heard something

1039
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 3: about that. Yeah, it's just overkill. Yeah. And also I

1040
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 3: think I just liked it because I was like, yeah,

1041
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 3: I just passed this in here, like food scraps on it,

1042
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 3: but well you can rinse it.

1043
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 2: That's like you needed to be squeaky clean, you know.

1044
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 2: That's it's like a very demanding roommate.

1045
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1046
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,920
Speaker 2: She also wanted me to not touch the dishwasher or

1047
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: clean anything in the sink between nine am to five pm,

1048
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 2: despite her having noise canceling headphones and having meetings on

1049
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 2: full volume.

1050
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 3: So I can't cook or clean for seven hours straight.

1051
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 3: That's eight hours.

1052
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 2: Actually, that's insane. This is exhaustion. This is so exhausting.

1053
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 2: This is ex like a girl, deal with your problems.

1054
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 2: I don't know, like iigure it out.

1055
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 3: Man, you got HD. You gotta work with it. We

1056
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 3: all have it.

1057
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 2: So common and the roommate has eight HG two AHD that's.

1058
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,919
Speaker 3: That's the cook ger. She's like, yeah, HG, you can't

1059
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 3: do it. It's like like I don't know that. What

1060
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,399
Speaker 3: about my is g huh?

1061
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: Everything that She wanted me to clean my own private

1062
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:34,280
Speaker 2: washroom every day because it's a part of the house

1063
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 2: and it comes in maintenance. By cleaning, I mean scrub

1064
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,439
Speaker 2: wash everything inside after every use.

1065
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 3: It's my own bathroom. That's wild, unless unless it is

1066
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 3: like a bathroom that is also used for public space. Yeah,

1067
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 3: then that's different. But like if it's your own.

1068
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 2: Your own bathroom, no one's using it. Yeah, and you'll

1069
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 2: be good. Yeah, you'll be good. She wanted me to

1070
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 2: broom in my own room every third day because again

1071
00:47:58,239 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 2: stupid maintenance clause.

1072
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,720
Speaker 3: My room is always clean also, and third day every

1073
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,399
Speaker 3: third That is crazy. I'm a clean person. I don't

1074
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 3: do that. Yeah, that is crazy.

1075
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 2: She said she sees a layer of tiny dust in

1076
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 2: my room. Sometimes she doesn't see my room first.

1077
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 3: Oh no, so don't see my room room. Oh so

1078
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 3: don't see my room first. There we go. Yeah, there

1079
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 3: you go. He's like, literally, just don't look in her room. Yeah,

1080
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 3: this is what my mom. She comes over. Yeah, she's like,

1081
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 3: well at my old department slash. Also, whenever I lived

1082
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 3: at home, she'd go like dust, Oh my god. Mom, Like, please, dude,

1083
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 3: half of the things that you're complaining about have I

1084
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 3: mean r op's room, private room, and private bathroom. And

1085
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 3: then you're complaining about her not watching your your cat. Yeah,

1086
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 3: like you gotta like go of control, my dude, Like

1087
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 3: you gotta this is you must release it.

1088
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 2: So now when crap hit the fan, she sat me

1089
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 2: down and had to talk about her concerns. I told

1090
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 2: her we can find a common ground if she's facing issues,

1091
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 2: and I can work around that.

1092
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 3: I told her my alternatives.

1093
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 2: She said I lied to her about being comfortable around

1094
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 2: a cat because she expected me to take initiative for

1095
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 2: taking care of Lucy and ask about her eating, sleeping,

1096
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 2: and food.

1097
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 3: Dude, it's not her cat. Yeah, it's not her cat.

1098
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 3: Op he does not have to take initiative. Not her cat.

1099
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,879
Speaker 3: Comfortable means like you're okay with it being in the apartment. Yeah,

1100
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,919
Speaker 3: it's say I'm okay with chillin' man like that's all

1101
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 3: that means. Girl. Yeah, she said I lied about being clean.

1102
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 2: I told her it was a bad mental health phase

1103
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,360
Speaker 2: sadly when I moved in, But I picked up the pace.

1104
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:26,479
Speaker 3: I cleaned well.

1105
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,359
Speaker 2: She said she never saw me clean the washroom since

1106
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:32,280
Speaker 2: I moved in. I never dartied it in the first place.

1107
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 2: I'm a clean person, She said. I lied about being hygienic.

1108
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:37,720
Speaker 2: And I also told her that I would start opening

1109
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 2: boundaries with Lucy because her owner is my roommate. I

1110
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 2: am someone who was strict about my boundaries. My roommate

1111
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 2: told me specifically not to leave my door open or

1112
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 2: the cat will go in. So I never did I

1113
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 2: shut the door if she tried to go in. Two

1114
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 2: weeks later, she told me, why do you always close

1115
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 2: the door on her? I said, you told me not

1116
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:55,479
Speaker 2: to let your cat in the room, And she said,

1117
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 2: at some point I expected you to let her in.

1118
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 3: There's a lot of expectations going around. That had a

1119
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 3: lot of conversation and talk.

1120
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:06,280
Speaker 2: Right, and then there's there's conversation and the expectations change,

1121
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 2: and then there's no conversation about it changing. I told her,

1122
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: I never knew there was a time window. Yeah, duh,

1123
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 2: you never told me. You never We never updated those rules.

1124
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 3: Right. Still, she told me a week later that she

1125
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 3: discussed this with her therapist. She's like, well, I told

1126
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 3: my therapist, so why didn't you reach out to my

1127
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:27,799
Speaker 3: therapist and talk to her about this?

1128
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 2: And she was giving me a two month notice because

1129
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 2: this is not what she signed up for. She's kicking

1130
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 2: you out or she's leaving on a two mothers wait.

1131
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 2: A few weeks earlier, I disclosed that I'm bipolar, but

1132
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: it's never caused any behavioral problems with anyone. I was comfortable,

1133
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,839
Speaker 2: so I told her I manage it well. My close

1134
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,839
Speaker 2: friends from college have known for a year, and they're

1135
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 2: super compassionate and supportive. I never showed outward symptoms. This

1136
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 2: is an important context for later when she gave me

1137
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 2: a notice and started rambling about how horrible of a

1138
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 2: roommate I was who didn't adjust at all. I told

1139
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 2: her that I got along with her cat never had

1140
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 2: any any issues with their friends coming over, and always

1141
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 2: stuck to my personal space. I even told her that

1142
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:08,359
Speaker 2: I accommodated her ADHD needs because good roommates do that.

1143
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 2: I didn't mean it in a mean way. I also

1144
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 2: have it, but she thought that I was attacking her

1145
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 2: mental health.

1146
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 3: Huh, early, girly, come on, she roared, you also lied

1147
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 3: about your mental health.

1148
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 2: I have weird experiences with friends who are bipolar. That

1149
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 2: was the last straw for me. This is so frustrating.

1150
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 3: I don't like you.

1151
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 2: Oh you lied by not telling me some really personal information.

1152
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 3: What's what. I don't like this roommate at all. I

1153
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 3: hate her. She can move.

1154
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 2: She can move and then get another roommate and have

1155
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 2: the same issues because she's not going to be a

1156
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 2: good roommate to anyone.

1157
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 3: Anyone.

1158
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 2: You need to live on your own, girl, Yeah, live

1159
00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 2: on your own, or like, suck it up.

1160
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, she needs to get a slap in the face

1161
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:52,280
Speaker 3: of the real world.

1162
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 2: I shut the door on her face and told her

1163
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: not to talk and cried for three hours and then

1164
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 2: ended up late for I told her that I was

1165
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 2: just saying I am being a good roommate and saying

1166
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 2: your ADHD is not a problem.

1167
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 3: I created my routine around it.

1168
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: She said, I never said your mental health was an issue,

1169
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 2: but I just don't like being lied to. I also said,

1170
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 2: I don't talk about my bipolar until I'm safe with

1171
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 2: the person because it has such a crappy stigma around it.

1172
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,320
Speaker 2: ADHD doesn't make people think about unliving and psych words

1173
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 2: bipolar does. I don't want anyone judging me for it.

1174
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 2: And she literally said she has weird experiences, so I

1175
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 2: don't want to talk. She said, don't bring up my

1176
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 2: mental health and I won't talk about yours. I will

1177
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 2: fight even if you don't want to talk about it.

1178
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 2: This has been a horrible experience. Or we didn't talk

1179
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 2: for a week after the fight. Now, uh, yeah, today

1180
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 2: I assume it got worse. Yeah, I'm guessing I would

1181
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 2: hope it doesn't, but I don't think.

1182
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 3: I don't have high hopes, not at all.

1183
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 2: She mandated monthly cleanliness checks of my room and bathroom.

1184
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:57,359
Speaker 3: Who is she the police? This is crazy, like she's

1185
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 3: not your landlord, literally, and also your landlord can't tell

1186
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,959
Speaker 3: you to clean your bathroom every week.

1187
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 2: She took pictures of the smallest dust or water stain

1188
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 2: or dust particle and called them violations.

1189
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,240
Speaker 3: Girl, I am so angry at this roommate.

1190
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, eater, violations you're violating.

1191
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 3: You're literally a roommate. You don't have any power here, girl,

1192
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 3: No no power, no power at all. She reminded me

1193
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 3: of the smallest things that.

1194
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 2: Weren't an issue earlier. Use this cloth, use this dish,

1195
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 2: do this this time. She texted me for the smallest things.

1196
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 2: Because I didn't want to see her, honestly, I stopped

1197
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 2: making sounds after that. She started telling me to not

1198
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 2: use the sink for soaking dishes at all, straight away

1199
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,879
Speaker 2: clean and put it in the dishwasher. She was trying

1200
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 2: to push me out of the apartment. My mental health

1201
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 2: got totally genuinely left. She also kept passing condescending remarks

1202
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:50,880
Speaker 2: about my hygiene and personal habits and how she was exhausted.

1203
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 3: Cleaning after me.

1204
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 2: I cleaned everything after myself. My guess was it was

1205
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 2: her clinical depression, but I.

1206
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 3: Did not say anything.

1207
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 2: Yeah yeayarted putting new rules and acted like they had

1208
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 2: been there forever. She also told me that she has

1209
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,719
Speaker 2: asked her friends for help about how to handle my

1210
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 2: hygiene and sanitation of my room by going on Reddit.

1211
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 3: So she went on read it too.

1212
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 2: We need to find nasty link it hence the cleanliness chicks.

1213
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 2: So she basically bead and told me not to be

1214
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 2: about her to anyone in the circle where I found

1215
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 2: her connection. I started getting tired, crying, having sleep issues

1216
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 2: and physical nightmares. At one point I refused to look

1217
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,240
Speaker 2: at her while resolving issues. I told her I would

1218
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 2: just do what she wanted because I don't want fights.

1219
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 2: I'm a very calm and rational person. My mental health

1220
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 2: started bleeding into my other relationships. It was super embarrassing.

1221
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 2: That's so sad. Eventually I realized that she was planning

1222
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 2: to show the apartment room to her friends because she

1223
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 2: had already beat about me to them, and I am

1224
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 2: sure she was looking for someone.

1225
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 3: Who already knew everything about her. Fair disclaimer.

1226
00:54:57,480 --> 00:54:59,800
Speaker 2: I also found a book of witchcraft and spells in

1227
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 2: the living room one day, and it was hers. I

1228
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 2: don't know what to think about it anymore. She's trying

1229
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 2: to cast a spell on you, I guess, so, is

1230
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 2: that what's going on?

1231
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 3: She's like some sort of like bathroommate spells.

1232
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 2: But guess what the thing about spells is that they

1233
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,160
Speaker 2: can backfire, yeah.

1234
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 3: And be cast on you instead.

1235
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 2: My health has been royally eft for a couple of

1236
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:25,359
Speaker 2: weeks now. I don't know if I'm being paranoid, but

1237
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 2: I am not ruling out her doing some voodoo crap

1238
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 2: on me. She also has installed a catcam in the

1239
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: living room for when.

1240
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 3: She's away, and she has been giving me one.

1241
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 2: Day heads up for everything because she knows I have not.

1242
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 3: I hate her so much, she's so much so truly,

1243
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 3: I think, just get out of the situation, out of there.

1244
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 3: Whenever the leases up go, my privacy is basically gone.

1245
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,919
Speaker 2: I am watched in the living room, I am being

1246
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:55,240
Speaker 2: texted relentless reminders about chores I'm already doing, and every

1247
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 2: stupid annoying task of leaving the sink empty, doing laundry,

1248
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 2: closing life and using clothes.

1249
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 3: I will I'm alive someone. But our relentless reminder is that.

1250
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 2: You should join us live on YouTube every weekday at

1251
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 2: three pm PSD.

1252
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 3: Just tap our protrale sabit.

1253
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 2: No way, We're just there, but there's there's another little update.

1254
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 3: But gotta get out of there.

1255
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,840
Speaker 2: But also try I have a feeling that OPI is

1256
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:26,359
Speaker 2: just avoiding it, which is so fair.

1257
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,720
Speaker 3: Yes, true, OPI is probably like, try to speak back.

1258
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 2: Of something, but I would get a little stern. Don't

1259
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 2: have to yell or anything, as we've previously discussed another story,

1260
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 2: so that you don't have to yell a your roommates,

1261
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 2: but you could get stern and be like, hey.

1262
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 3: Yeah I'm doing this, drop it, drop it. Current update.

1263
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 3: I have detached and I am looking for a new

1264
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 3: place solution.

1265
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 2: So what's your opinion on the situation? Who is the

1266
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 2: a hoole, who is in the wrong, what could be fixed?

1267
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 2: And what was genuinely demented spill? Okay, so not much

1268
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 2: of an update, but what I mean.

1269
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you're not the a hole I think. I mean,

1270
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 3: you know, you mentioned a couple of your mistakes which

1271
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 3: weren't good, but if they weren't ongoing things that she

1272
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 3: had to constantly remind you. Then you're fine. And I

1273
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 3: think it's totally unreasonable for her to be like, you

1274
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 3: have to keep your room clean to my standards, and

1275
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 3: your bathroom beleen my standards. You have to watch my cat. Yeah,

1276
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 3: it's like, who are you? Oh? Yeah, the queen? The queen?

1277
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 3: Do you think you all the queen? Not in hit

1278
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 3: and By? But that is the end of that story. End.

1279
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1280
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

1281
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

1282
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 2: I yelled to my mother in law because she keeps

1283
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 2: crossing my boundary.

1284
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 3: Yell at her, go for it.

1285
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 2: I twenty four female, got married to the love of

1286
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: my life Everett's twenty five male, almost three years ago.

1287
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 2: Since then, we have moved into a beautiful home in

1288
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 2: our own town, farther away from any of our family members.

1289
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 2: We love our family, but they can be a bit

1290
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 2: much sometimes and we are so glad to have space.

1291
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a love Good Luna

1292
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,000
Speaker 2: Lover on the r slash Okay story time and suppread

1293
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 2: for a little background. My husband has a very stable

1294
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 2: job working for a technology company. I have been working

1295
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 2: on getting my nursing degree, while I also have a

1296
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 2: part time job at a small cafe downtown. Just over

1297
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 2: a year ago, me and my husband decided to become

1298
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 2: foster parents. Everett lost his dad at a young age,

1299
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 2: while my home wasn't the most stable place growing up,

1300
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 2: so we would love to provide a safe place for

1301
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 2: as many kids as possible. A lot of people have

1302
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 2: assumed because me and my husband are young, we aren't

1303
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 2: stable or capable of becoming foster parents, even though we

1304
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 2: were perfectly ready emotionally, mentally, and financially. We understand how

1305
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:38,800
Speaker 2: fortunate we are to have good jobs and a good

1306
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 2: place to live, which is exactly why we chose to

1307
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 2: do this in the first place. Lots of people have

1308
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 2: tried to warn me about the dangers of letting these

1309
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 2: kids into our home, so it was a bit of

1310
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 2: a rocky road, but finally we were able to open

1311
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 2: up our home at the beginning of last year. When

1312
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: we told our families our decision, My family was supportive,

1313
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 2: Everett's not so much. His sisters was great, but Everett's

1314
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 2: mother went off handle. She said that she was angry

1315
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 2: and shocked that we had chosen to go a strange

1316
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: way to get children. She said that we were being

1317
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 2: selfish because I was too weak to go through childbirth.

1318
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:09,600
Speaker 3: Wo.

1319
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 2: Wow, accusation there so big. Oh my goodness, this wasn't all,

1320
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 2: but that's all I'm.

1321
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 3: Going to repeat.

1322
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 2: We were very firm with her and ended up cutting

1323
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 2: off communications for a few weeks.

1324
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 3: Honestly, good. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Eventually she sent an

1325
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:27,919
Speaker 3: apology note and made a big deal about how hard

1326
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 3: it was for her to cope with a sudden change.

1327
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 3: Everett and I just went with it. Since then, we

1328
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 3: have had a few placements, but nothing too long. Then

1329
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 3: in October we found out I was pregnant. Wow.

1330
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 2: This came as a huge surprise, but we were both

1331
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 2: very excited for the new edition coming in May. The

1332
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 2: first person we told was my mother, who was thrilled

1333
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 2: to get her first official grandchild. She counts all our

1334
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 2: foster babies as grandchildren. She was just happy to have

1335
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,920
Speaker 2: one that's permanent. She helped us plan a small reveal

1336
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 2: to my father, younger brothers, and sister in laws.

1337
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 3: The reveal was great.

1338
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 2: We were so excited, But then a few days after

1339
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 2: Everett was getting congratulated by random family members he hadn't

1340
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 2: seen since his dad's funeral. I'm talking third cousins. We

1341
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,560
Speaker 2: immediately knew his mom had found out and spilled the beans.

1342
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 2: I was very irritated that we didn't get to announce

1343
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 2: it to our general family, and this isn't even her

1344
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 2: first grandchild. Plus it's hurtful how excited she is about

1345
01:00:19,920 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 2: this child, considering the attitude she had towards our past

1346
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 2: foster children. A few weeks after we got back, Everett's

1347
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 2: mother flew into our town. She did not tell us beforehand.

1348
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 2: She just showed up at our door. When she came in,

1349
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 2: she explained that she wanted to stay in our house

1350
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 2: and help out until the baby arrived. She said that

1351
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 2: she rented her apartment out until June, so she had

1352
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 2: nowhere else to go.

1353
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,000
Speaker 3: Why did you do that? Now she's just trying to

1354
01:00:42,040 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 3: guilt them. Yeah, and again after her comments about like

1355
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 3: the foster kids, so I would not want her anywhere

1356
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 3: near yeah right, we kindly explained to her that we

1357
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 3: can't have an unchecked adult living in our house with

1358
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 3: foster child. Yeah, because that's definitely got some like legal stuff. Yeah.

1359
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, she looked me dead in the eye and said,

1360
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 2: I thought with the new grandchild you would get over

1361
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 2: the foster parent phase. Yeah, not a fase, mom, not

1362
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 2: a face. My husband got offended and kicked her out

1363
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 2: of our house. She stayed in a hotel and then

1364
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 2: showed up the next day. She tried guilt tripping us,

1365
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 2: saying that she has nowhere else to stay and we

1366
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 2: should open our hearts.

1367
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 3: And home for her. Look, like, you can't just decide

1368
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 3: that for someone.

1369
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 2: You can't just be like, yeah, you know what, I

1370
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 2: totally rented out my house to someone for like a

1371
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 2: month after your due date.

1372
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 3: Like here, I am, take care of me, give me

1373
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 3: a place to stay. Like, you can't do that.

1374
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 2: We told her that she shouldn't have shown up expecting

1375
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:38,800
Speaker 2: to stay without telling us. She said that she really

1376
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,919
Speaker 2: needed us and she doesn't have any more money for hotels. Ever,

1377
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 2: called the sisters and they convinced him to let his

1378
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:46,920
Speaker 2: mother stay here just because it's the holidays. We decided

1379
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 2: to let her stay in our guest room until the

1380
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 2: end of the year or we get another placement. And

1381
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 2: let me tell you, she has been an absolute nightmare.

1382
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 2: First of all, she keeps buying things for the baby

1383
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 2: from shoes, to clothes to food. I don't know where

1384
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 2: she's getting the money, but every day I've money for hotels,

1385
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 2: but every day she has a new thing, and everything

1386
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 2: she buys is totally useless. She's buying newborn winter stuff,

1387
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 2: and our baby is going to be born in late spring.

1388
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 2: All the food she's getting is going to expire by May.

1389
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 2: Plus the baby won't even be able to eat it

1390
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,280
Speaker 2: until they are at least three months.

1391
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 3: There's no way this food is lasting until next August.

1392
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 2: I don't think she understands the fact that we still

1393
01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 2: have a long way to go, and you don't start

1394
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 2: buying these things until way later. She non stop complains.

1395
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 2: She complains that we don't spend time with her. If

1396
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 2: she had planned a visit, we would have cleared our

1397
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 2: busy schedules, but she didn't tell us, so we still

1398
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:40,880
Speaker 2: have work and school and other things we had already

1399
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 2: agreed to do. She complains that I should be going

1400
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:46,440
Speaker 2: on shopping spreees like her, getting useless junk for the baby.

1401
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 2: She doesn't do any work around the house and complains

1402
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 2: if anything is slightly messy. She expects me to cook

1403
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 2: for her, clean for her, and give her money so

1404
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 2: that she can buy whatever she wants.

1405
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 3: Girl what.

1406
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 2: Whenever she comes to church or other events with us,

1407
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 2: she then tells everyone everything about me.

1408
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 3: She's like a five year old.

1409
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 2: She tells people about my vomiting habits and I have

1410
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 2: doctor's appointments, And she tells people how dirty my house is,

1411
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 2: or when the last time she saw me do laundry was,

1412
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 2: Except what don't you.

1413
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 3: Do the laundry or in the house if you're staying

1414
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,000
Speaker 3: there for free? Right?

1415
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 2: Like, I feel like the expectation or the idea that

1416
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 2: would come along with, like, you know, a mother in

1417
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,919
Speaker 2: law staying in the house when there's a baby coming

1418
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 2: is to.

1419
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 3: Like help out. Yeah, but you are being an insane burden.

1420
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 3: They're fostering you. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1421
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,440
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she was snooping in our things, but

1422
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 2: I have no real proof for that one. When I

1423
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 2: told my husband about this, he was just about to

1424
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 2: kick her out of the house. I convinced him to

1425
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 2: let her see too nice, man, I don't really want

1426
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 2: my mother in law to totally hate me. Then, over the

1427
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 2: dinner table one night, she took it too far. My

1428
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 2: husband got home and we made dinner together. We go

1429
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:54,240
Speaker 2: into the other room for one minute to switch the laundry,

1430
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 2: and we hear that woman in our kitchen. We come

1431
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,200
Speaker 2: back to see that she has taken two full plates

1432
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 2: of food, including all of the rice in the pan,

1433
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 2: and was.

1434
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:03,960
Speaker 3: Just scarfing it.

1435
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,760
Speaker 2: I was really craving rice, and after a harder day

1436
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 2: at work, I cried.

1437
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:09,919
Speaker 3: Everett was done.

1438
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 2: That was the last strom. He told his mother that

1439
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 2: she would pack her things, book a flight, and be

1440
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,880
Speaker 2: out of town by the next day. She freaked out,

1441
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:22,080
Speaker 2: saying I was selfish for crying over rice. She said

1442
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be eating it anyway, because I was already

1443
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 2: looking fast.

1444
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 3: You idiot, you freaking idiot.

1445
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 2: What Oh my gosh, And right like what, it turned

1446
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:36,520
Speaker 2: into a screaming fit between me and my husband's disastrous mother.

1447
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:39,120
Speaker 2: Looking back, I can definitely say I was really mean

1448
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:39,320
Speaker 2: to her.

1449
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, so she gets. Yeah. By the way,

1450
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 3: will never be really mean to you.

1451
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 2: Because you even listen to full episodes of stories just

1452
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 2: like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your

1453
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:53,720
Speaker 2: favorite podcast app.

1454
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 3: Just search okay, storytell, and if you do that, will

1455
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,120
Speaker 3: never be mean to you. You'll never be mean to you.

1456
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 3: But if you don't but there is a little bit more.

1457
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:05,880
Speaker 3: But do we have any any thoughts before that? No,

1458
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,439
Speaker 3: kick her out, Kick her out, that's my thought.

1459
01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:11,320
Speaker 2: Check her out, because like she just cannot expect that

1460
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 2: of you, Like she should be able to show up

1461
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 2: and you just just say, like no, draw everything while

1462
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 2: you're pregnant. Yeah, so, like you know, if that was

1463
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 2: her decision to lease it till May or June, and

1464
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 2: it's like your Scember or something that like that's on her, man,

1465
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 2: that is on her.

1466
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:31,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. The next day she left to go live at

1467
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 3: Everett's sister's house.

1468
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:34,479
Speaker 2: For the last week, She's made a big deal about

1469
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 2: how mean I was to her.

1470
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 3: She's gotten on social media and share the things I.

1471
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:42,040
Speaker 2: Yelled at her, oh my gosh, of course, not including

1472
01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:44,680
Speaker 2: the things that she did. Although Everett is completely on

1473
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 2: my side, all of the family thinks that I was

1474
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:50,360
Speaker 2: harsh and mean. They all have varying opinions on it.

1475
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 2: So I've got to know from an outside source. Am

1476
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 2: I the bad apple? And there are some relevant comments.

1477
01:05:56,160 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 2: Comment number one says, heck no, she's a monster and la, Yep,

1478
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 2: you need strict boundaries with that one or she'll walk

1479
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 2: all over you and continue to cause you stress. Go

1480
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 2: on her posts and post that's not true and you

1481
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 2: know it for every post.

1482
01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:11,680
Speaker 3: If she's going to.

1483
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:14,480
Speaker 2: Act like a scorned, cheap teenage girl, then find that

1484
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 2: inner mean girl and set her in her place. Comment

1485
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 2: number two absolutely not. Who shows up on the doorstep

1486
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 2: of the home of somebody they are barely on speaking

1487
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 2: terms with, criticizing them, constantly causing them untold stress while

1488
01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 2: they are pregnant, and then eats all the food before

1489
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 2: anyone else can make a plate. What the F is

1490
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:37,440
Speaker 2: wrong with this person? Worst HouseGuest ever? Comment turnum at

1491
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 2: three says, oh, heck, no, you are for sure a

1492
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:41,240
Speaker 2: good apple.

1493
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,000
Speaker 3: That woman sounds like a nightmare.

1494
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 2: She's been unsupportive and mean and only when you have

1495
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:48,160
Speaker 2: a real children on.

1496
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 3: The way doesn't count.

1497
01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:51,720
Speaker 2: As someone who comes from a blended family, both with

1498
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 2: an adopted and half siblings, I find her behavior beyond despicable.

1499
01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:58,640
Speaker 2: I understand that you haven't had a permanent or what

1500
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 2: sounds like a long term place yet and that your

1501
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 2: mother in law might not feel an attachment to those

1502
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:05,160
Speaker 2: children because of that, and I would.

1503
01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 3: Be more forgiving. But that's alway she's been saying.

1504
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 2: She's telling you that not a foster child, even a

1505
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:13,200
Speaker 2: permanent foster child, would not be family to her. I

1506
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:15,600
Speaker 2: can tell you that she would be so toxic for

1507
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 2: your children, and it would be more than reasonable for

1508
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,000
Speaker 2: you and your husband to go low or no contact

1509
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:23,080
Speaker 2: with her for the use comments alone.

1510
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:26,840
Speaker 3: And that is the end of it. So no contact, yeah, go,

1511
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,240
Speaker 3: no contact, no contact. She'll figure it out, she'll find

1512
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 3: a place, she'll they'll bother your sisters about it exactly,

1513
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,520
Speaker 3: or her other family members who have called you harsh. Yeah,

1514
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 3: and then they can realize, oh, mother in law actually

1515
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:40,720
Speaker 3: freakin sucks and she's a problem. Yes, yes, that's what.

1516
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 3: You don't have to do anything.

1517
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:44,439
Speaker 2: If we've learned something today with the stories that we've read,

1518
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,520
Speaker 2: is that you know, do what you gotta do, and

1519
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:47,840
Speaker 2: yet people who are in the.

1520
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:51,880
Speaker 3: Wrong will expose themselves indeed. But that is the end

1521
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:54,760
Speaker 3: of that story and the end of this episode. So

1522
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:57,840
Speaker 3: if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love you,

1523
01:07:58,240 --> 01:07:59,320
Speaker 3: and see Dama