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Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

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Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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Speaker 2: a terrible throatfle.

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Speaker 1: Guess what you've got decisions?

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Speaker 2: It's hot day, bitches.

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Speaker 3: If you got decisions, it maybe be with my friend ASANTI.

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Speaker 3: I tried, I tried, I tried no oh, because I

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Speaker 3: said hey and I went aste.

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Speaker 2: I did that all right?

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Speaker 1: All right, I had to.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I'm an edited that mess on out, y'all. Welcome

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Speaker 3: to you Got Decisions. I'm your girl man DV. And

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Speaker 3: it's another episode where we're giving you advice this week.

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Speaker 3: Actually we are responding to someone who sends us an

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Speaker 3: update which I love and to help me out with

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Speaker 3: their dilemma. This go around, I am joined by Asante,

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Speaker 3: one third of the friend Zone.

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Speaker 1: When can they listen to the Friends.

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Speaker 2: The friend Zone comes out Wednesdays of every week potentially

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Speaker 2: on pall.

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Speaker 4: We actually are on Patriots, were on all streaming platforms, Spotify, SoundCloud.

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Speaker 4: The friend Zone Podcasts is what we're called. If you

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Speaker 4: go to patreon dot com slash Friendszone Podcasts, you will

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Speaker 4: get premium content from us. You will actually get to

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Speaker 4: see what we look like. We are on social media's

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Speaker 4: You can find us on social media.

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Speaker 1: Can you not stand fifty years old?

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Speaker 2: We are all the social media on the socials.

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Speaker 4: Just google the friend Zone podcast. You will find all

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Speaker 4: of our socials. It's low variations everywhere, but we out there. Okay,

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Speaker 4: but I'm at hey Sante. Just look me up and

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Speaker 4: you will find the friend Zone podcast.

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Speaker 3: Carry it And if you guys want to send us

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Speaker 3: an email to get advice from us, you can email

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Speaker 3: us Decisions Pod at Gmail dot calm. Or if you

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Speaker 3: enjoy voicemails like I'm gonna play today, you guys can

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Speaker 3: join me over on Patreon as patreon dot com backslash

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Speaker 3: Horrible Decisions and you can leave us a voicemail at

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Speaker 3: nine seven three nine three two zero two sel Before

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Speaker 3: we get.

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Speaker 2: To this voicemail.

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Speaker 3: Oh, y'all already know, I'm reading y'all's reviews from Amazon,

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Speaker 3: and it would help us deeply for you guys to

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Speaker 3: leave us a review. Head on over to Amazon orgodreads

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Speaker 3: dot com and leave us a review if you have

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Speaker 3: enjoyed our book. So I'm reading this one this week

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Speaker 3: from Let's get this from Kanaya.

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Speaker 1: So this comes from Kanaya.

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Speaker 3: She rated us five Storrs and said the girls on

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Speaker 3: New York Times Bestsellers for a reason hunt first and foremost.

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Speaker 3: Thanks thanks Mandy and Wheezy for being so open with

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Speaker 3: personal events.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have fully.

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Speaker 3: Read this book. I learned a lot and the book

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Speaker 3: was amazing. And I'm not even a reader. I read

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Speaker 3: this in three point five days. I couldn't put it

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Speaker 3: down since I started, and I was blessed to go

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Speaker 3: to a book signing and get Mind signed.

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Speaker 1: Kanaya, thank you so so, so, so so.

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Speaker 3: Much, and thank everyone who supported us and becoming a

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Speaker 3: New York Times bestseller.

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Speaker 1: Also, if you haven't yet, get no holds barred.

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Speaker 3: And if you're not a reader like Kanaya, the audiobook

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Speaker 3: is available, and bitch, it was the hardest thing I

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Speaker 3: ever did.

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Speaker 2: So go and get that guy.

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Speaker 3: We narrated that ship. Let me tell you, a bitch

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Speaker 3: was burping. A bitch realized I don't read out loud

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Speaker 3: very much. I was like, no, how do you say this?

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Speaker 2: Do you know how long the audiobook is?

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Speaker 1: Ten hours?

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Speaker 3: We kind of wrote a little bit, so the audio

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Speaker 3: big is like ten hours. You can get it wherever

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Speaker 3: you listen to audiobooks. I think it's also on Spotify

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Speaker 3: and shit now, but yeah, make sure you get that.

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Speaker 3: And I am looking to do some sort of element

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Speaker 3: of going deep diving into each of my chapters, but

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Speaker 3: I may do that over on Selective Ignorance because bitch,

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Speaker 3: I talk about how ignorant I was so much throughout

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Speaker 3: my process of growing up and learning myself worth and

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Speaker 3: all things. So y'all might have to slide over to

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Speaker 3: Selective Ignorance to check that out. And if you haven't

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Speaker 3: yet subscribed, I have another podcast, myself Selective Ignorance Podcast

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Speaker 3: now on the Block Effect Network. All right, well this

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Speaker 3: one is a catchup, so that's not that I'm going

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Speaker 3: to catch you up. Y'all may remember this basically, this

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Speaker 3: was an episode I did with Eden where she called

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Speaker 3: in and she saw in his medicine cabinet.

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Speaker 1: That he had prep okay, and.

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Speaker 3: He kind of said that he was giving them to

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Speaker 3: his friends.

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Speaker 1: That was his excuse for PREP. Now, y'all, that was just.

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Speaker 2: Like, what what does that mean?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 3: Giving them to your friends? And that's where I was like,

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Speaker 3: maybe he's embarrassed to be on PREP. And there's a

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Speaker 3: few reasons, right, especially if you live in a city

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Speaker 3: like Atlanta, I get that if you are side, even me,

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Speaker 3: I wanted to get on PREP side. They talked about

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Speaker 3: it because i'd be a sex clubs and sometimes I

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Speaker 3: have sex with people who I don't know their whole

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: Sexual history.

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Speaker 3: So we went into Okay, he could be hiding his

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Speaker 3: sexuality or he could just.

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Speaker 1: Be literally uh or just yeah, or.

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Speaker 3: Just like being being safe because he'd be outside. Right,

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Speaker 3: So this is now getting into the ketchup after our

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Speaker 3: our advice.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, well what was the advice?

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Speaker 1: I just told her, if.

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Speaker 3: He's lying, maybe you haven't created the safe space for him.

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Speaker 1: But also PREP could mean he is, you know, not straight.

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Speaker 3: Would you consider And by the way, I'm aware PREP

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Speaker 3: could be for.

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Speaker 1: Many things, It's not just for gas.

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Speaker 3: But I was just like, you have to decide is

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Speaker 3: that something you would be you would have a problem with,

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Speaker 3: like if he chose to be honest with you about

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Speaker 3: what type of saff he's having outside of y'all, because.

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Speaker 2: There are gay men that won't take PREP.

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Speaker 1: What do you wait?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: See why you see how I didn't land where you thought?

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Speaker 4: Oh wait, yeah, no you didn't know because when you

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Speaker 4: first said, uh, he could be taking PREP, because he's

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Speaker 4: not ready to reveal sexuality or something like that. They

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Speaker 4: are gay men that won't take PREP because they don't

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Speaker 4: want to accept that. Like that's part of like the thing,

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Speaker 4: like they're like, oh, by taking prepace normalizing that I'm

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Speaker 4: having sex for you know, STD protection, but I'm not

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Speaker 4: having sex for that anyway. I'm having for love or

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Speaker 4: it's supposed to.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, you.

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Speaker 2: Look like I'm targeted.

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Speaker 4: I'm a homosexual because I'm taking this medication when I'm

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Speaker 4: not even sexually active.

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Speaker 2: So there are stigmas.

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Speaker 3: What are these conversations then around PREP in the gay community.

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Speaker 2: There's there's too many.

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Speaker 4: Well it's I mean it was made you know, allegedly

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Speaker 4: for the games or the.

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Speaker 3: Games which I love now like and we've been talking

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Speaker 3: with Gilliad Sciences and they like we were at Black

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Speaker 3: Women's Health Imperative Essence, and the conversation now is.

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Speaker 2: That PREPA is forever.

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Speaker 4: The conversations did start with the gay community, specific with

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Speaker 4: black gay men, and so it went from black gay

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Speaker 4: men or we're either going to take this to use

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Speaker 4: it as a preventative function, or we're taking this just

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Speaker 4: because it'll give me another.

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Speaker 2: Reason, or she use to have raw sex.

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Speaker 4: So when people are like, okay, well you know, PREP

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Speaker 4: is only preventing or protecting from one thing STDs. So

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Speaker 4: then it became this thing for some gays like all right,

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Speaker 4: well if I'm not even sexually active, why should I

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Speaker 4: be taking it? And then others were like, well, you

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Speaker 4: should just be taking it just to have, And then

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Speaker 4: there was a thing of well you shouldn't take it

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Speaker 4: because the government is trying to infect you with that

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Speaker 4: little bit of it to keep you so many internal

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Speaker 4: homophobic or internal homosexual issues that when it came it

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Speaker 4: became like a straight thing for people to start talking

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Speaker 4: about PREP. I'm like, everybody should just take because everybody,

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Speaker 4: fuck it.

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Speaker 2: I understand everybody.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't matter, gay, straight, whatever, but there is something

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Speaker 4: to be said about not being sexually active and just

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Speaker 4: taking like uh, birth control or things like that when

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Speaker 4: you're not even.

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Speaker 3: Sexual and you're not even sec Well it's crazy too,

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Speaker 3: because they use birth control now for a lot of

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Speaker 3: hormonal imbalances for women. So if you have pcos, they'll

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Speaker 3: subscribe you birth control. If you have endometriosis or certain fibroids,

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Speaker 3: they'll literally subscribe you, prescribe you. Look if you subscribed, subscribe,

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Speaker 3: they'll prescribe you these because yeah, birth and there's nothing

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Speaker 3: wrong with it. But when it comes to PREP, yeah,

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Speaker 3: there's still this stigma around it.

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Speaker 1: We'll try to normalize it. And it just came out

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Speaker 1: with a shot twice a year.

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Speaker 2: I'm about to get on it because.

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Speaker 1: Don't nobody want to take a pill every day?

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Speaker 3: And if you can't take a pill every day, maybe

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Speaker 3: you take your flist phones bottomins.

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Speaker 2: Yeah maybe so maybe you, maybe you could do it.

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Speaker 3: But for me when I saw that, now it's two

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Speaker 3: shots a year, every six months, and mind you before

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Speaker 3: you take the shot, kind of like with PREP, so

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Speaker 3: PREP you can get three month prescriptions from like your

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Speaker 3: planned parenthood or any We actually just drove past a

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Speaker 3: prep walking center here, so we're in a point it

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Speaker 3: out to you when when when we leave here, I'm

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Speaker 3: over on what.

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Speaker 1: Is the studio? I just sat a little studio where

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Speaker 1: it's that well to me, it's more like.

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Speaker 3: Well in Atlanta, I'm over off Josephi Lowry on the

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Speaker 3: West End. They're not gonna come right, but yeah, if

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Speaker 3: you want to walk into there's a literally prep walking

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Speaker 3: clinic right over here in this area.

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Speaker 1: You know, go get it.

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Speaker 2: You're using prep, you still need to have to get tested.

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Speaker 1: So that's the thing.

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Speaker 3: You they test you before they give you your next prescription.

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Speaker 3: So every three months when you have to re up,

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Speaker 3: or if you get on this shot, every six months,

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Speaker 3: you're gonna have to take an HIV test before they

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Speaker 3: But to me, what I'm hoping it does is it

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Speaker 3: normalizes even people just talking about when was the last

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Speaker 3: time you got tested?

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Speaker 1: Right, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: And again because you're getting tested to see your other

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Speaker 4: ship too. Hello, so a you know, because it's like, oh,

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Speaker 4: well why am I getting tested if the prep works?

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Speaker 1: Because ship there's other ship.

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Speaker 4: Like hey, there's the chance that it might not work.

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Speaker 4: So it was like, hey girl, you weren't taking your

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Speaker 4: ship right, So now you got x Y.

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Speaker 3: You know, people people hunching so unprotected now, nigga, these

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Speaker 3: chlamydias got different, like turning into different Shiit Saverian because

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Speaker 3: like the Tobe, she's crazy. Well, all right, this is

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Speaker 3: Brianna and I'm gonna go ahead and give her the

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Speaker 3: update on what's happened since we gave her that advice.

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Speaker 6: Him and Ed Insight I just listened to I'm Brianna

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Speaker 6: from uh seven whenever. But I was just listening to

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Speaker 6: decisions decisions that you chose my voicemail. But I did

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Speaker 6: want to say thank you, and we did share results

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Speaker 6: after that conversation. And also yes, here is fucking.

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Speaker 5: Other women, but from yes.

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Speaker 6: I said, like phone one day, you know whatever, they

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Speaker 6: they do use contexts from what I saw.

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Speaker 5: But also I have asked him for MMS three songs

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Speaker 5: and he said no, but this is that was like

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Speaker 5: a while ago. But then one day I was tough,

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Speaker 5: like I was talking about my ex and then he

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Speaker 5: was like, he was like, show me a video of

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Speaker 5: your second another nigga stick and I was like, okay,

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Speaker 5: I didn't mind showings like it, and he just like

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Speaker 5: got so off and then he was like.

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Speaker 6: I love to see you taking dick from another nigga.

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Speaker 6: I'm like, so what happened to you not sucking with

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Speaker 6: But anyway, I like if he was ended up bisexual,

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Speaker 6: that'd be something new to me. But I have like

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Speaker 6: a fantasy situ in my head she diggs whatever, but

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Speaker 6: I don't know. And then also he did show me

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Speaker 6: his medicine cabinet and then I went to suit. He

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Speaker 6: literally showed me like showed me and then. But other

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Speaker 6: than that, me and him, it is a situationship. I

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Speaker 6: might like him a little bit, but I don't see

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Speaker 6: a future with him. I'm just he's just something to

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Speaker 6: do while there's nothing else to do. But yeah, thank you.

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Speaker 6: I just wanted to say that I would leave a comment,

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Speaker 6: but it's not anonymous, so oh sorry.

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Speaker 3: So this is interesting to me and I just wanted

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Speaker 3: to have this conversation, especially with you, because clearly she's

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Speaker 3: to me, she is conflating sexuality with a sexual thing.

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Speaker 3: Like to me, maybe he enjoys being cuckolded.

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Speaker 2: That doesn't mean I like to think about a period.

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Speaker 2: He might be a cut.

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Speaker 3: Do you know how many niggas I have in my

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Speaker 3: phone that love to like watch me engage with sex

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Speaker 3: or do anything with other men, but they never want

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Speaker 3: to be in the room with another man?

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Speaker 2: Does it always mean cooke though?

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Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing we like to look like label.

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Speaker 4: Though, because in my mind I'm thinking like maybe he

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Speaker 4: just wants to watch or like like you know, niggas

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Speaker 4: watch porn. But also so like he knows you or

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Speaker 4: is familiar with you, so maybe he just like watch you.

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Speaker 3: But also I wonder if he asked that, because she

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Speaker 3: said he did admit he's fucking under other women, right,

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Speaker 3: and he's using a condom from what I could see,

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Speaker 3: So I wonder if he recorded a video fucking another woman.

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Speaker 3: She was able to visibly see the condom. And so

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Speaker 3: now that he shared videos from.

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Speaker 4: What I have been from what I see, But is

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Speaker 4: it from or is it is it from a text

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Speaker 4: message she saw?

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Speaker 2: Like, Oh, they're kind of okay, You're right, you know

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: But to me, we have both the different delusions filled

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Speaker 4: in which is funny.

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Speaker 3: I love that, but also right, it could be now

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Speaker 3: that you're aware that he's fucking other women, he may

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Speaker 3: be trying to create the safe space of letting it

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Speaker 3: be known it doesn't bother him that you are out

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Speaker 3: of your fucking other guy.

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Speaker 1: And what that really does.

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Speaker 3: Is make it more of what you want. You kind

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Speaker 3: of like him, but you don't see it going anywhere.

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Speaker 4: She's just something to do because she said she want

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Speaker 4: a threesomeere but he might not want that.

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Speaker 3: He might just he might just like watching you, like

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Speaker 3: just because he likes watching you engage in sex with

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Speaker 3: someone else, he wants to engage with the men.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't mean he even wants to be in the road.

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Speaker 1: To me, you sending him a video of you.

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Speaker 3: Sucking another another niggasick boy.

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Speaker 1: I hope the advertisers don't listen to this.

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Speaker 3: One could could just be the same way he enjoys

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Speaker 3: watching porn, and so him just visually seeing someone he's

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Speaker 3: already attracted to that he knows what that mouth do.

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Speaker 3: Maybe he just enjoys watching you in that porn aesthetic,

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Speaker 3: not that he want to partake in anything with you

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Speaker 3: and another man. And clearly you have this fantasy.

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Speaker 2: You need to get your own MMF fantasy off.

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Speaker 3: Maybe go get that off and maybe without him. I

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Speaker 3: would say the fact that you're even saying even if

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Speaker 3: he ended up bisexual, I feel like it's kind.

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Speaker 2: Of like you're trying to turn him out. Girl.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But to me, I.

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Speaker 3: Think even if you bring up say this fantasy again

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Speaker 3: with him, especially now that you're showing I think one

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Speaker 3: of the ways to push him away from this is

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Speaker 3: to try to identify him. Don't try to tell him

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Speaker 3: what his sexuality is. And I think you trying to

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Speaker 3: put that bisexual label on him could make him not

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Speaker 3: interested in doing anything like baby baby steps.

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Speaker 1: Y'all probably not gonna be together anyway. You said, he

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Speaker 1: just something to do when there's nothing to do.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you just keep it as it and you just

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Speaker 3: have William and like Asante said, find find two other

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Speaker 3: niggas to have your MMF experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's hard.

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Speaker 5: It is.

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Speaker 1: It's hard.

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Speaker 2: I've been trying. It's hard.

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Speaker 4: But there are people I look, maybe I've been trying

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Speaker 4: niggas that will be like, I know, gay man will

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Speaker 4: be like, would it be weird for me to say, well,

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Speaker 4: he's a pussy right now. I'm like, listen, there's some

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Speaker 4: girls out there that they already be knowing what's up.

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Speaker 4: They just looking for the one to be like, well, shit,

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Speaker 4: as long as I can leave the next day or whatever.

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Speaker 2: There are people.

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Speaker 4: There's somebody for everybody, no matter how temperate the situation is.

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Speaker 2: Carry every sort of formation.

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Speaker 4: So I think old girl is a freak and she

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Speaker 4: needs to be freaky decky by her loansome and she

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Speaker 4: wants to run the conversation by old boy once more

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Speaker 4: time to see if like, hey, you trying to do

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Speaker 4: this MMF thing.

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Speaker 2: He's like nah, They be like all right.

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Speaker 1: Cool, move on, but I ain't gonna hold you. He

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Speaker 1: I think he just is freaky decky.

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Speaker 4: He is, but they're not having the right conversation with

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Speaker 4: what they really want.

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Speaker 1: They're not They're not.

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Speaker 3: That's I will say, kudos to him for being on prep,

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Speaker 3: kudos to him for being open with even his own desires.

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Speaker 1: And then what I always say too.

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Speaker 3: About us as black women, like it's important to create

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Speaker 3: that safe space. So him even saying, hey, I would

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Speaker 3: be turned on by watching you suck another nigga dick,

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Speaker 3: creating a safe space doesn't look like trying to now

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Speaker 3: label hand sexuality, So you're bisexual.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that. Don't do that?

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Speaker 3: Do you don't how many niggas I I'm over and

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Speaker 3: paid and they say they are hetero straight men and

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Speaker 3: I be all up in able to haul. I let

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Speaker 3: them identify it as straight. They could be fucking trans

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Speaker 3: women they straight. Let people identify however they want to identify.

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Speaker 3: I told you the story when we wrote the book.

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Speaker 3: The bitch didn't want to say I was bisexual identified

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Speaker 3: as bisexual in the book. The editor was like, you

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Speaker 3: don't seem all of your advice seems to come from

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Speaker 3: a hetero like like like.

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Speaker 1: Viewpoint and I was like, bitch, I e kuchi, I'm bisexual.

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Speaker 2: What does we talking about?

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Speaker 1: Sorry that I don't date women, but I fuck them.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: So Anyhow, that's one of the ways we as women

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Speaker 3: can show up and create those safe spaces, is not

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Speaker 3: by sitting here trying to label what a man is

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Speaker 3: sexually based on what he may be into.

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Speaker 2: Let him do that here here, Let him do it period.

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Speaker 3: If you guys want us to give you all advice

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00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,119
Speaker 3: or just read you for Phil, send us your emails

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Speaker 3: Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will read it here,

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00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 3: or you can send us a voicemail Mandy on the

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Speaker 3: hotline over on Patreon ninety seven three ninety three two

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00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 3: zero two to sale, and again make sure you leave

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Speaker 3: your reviews on Amazon Audio Book No holds bard And

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Speaker 3: if you get sick of hearing my voice the friend Zone,

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Speaker 3: where can they listen to the friend Zone of Siante.

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Speaker 4: The friend Zone podcast is on all streaming platforms, but

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Speaker 4: if you want to find us on social media, just

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Speaker 4: come to mind and I'll send you over there. I'm

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Speaker 4: at Hey sciante h E y A, S, S and

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Speaker 4: te And that's it. For me, I usually end an

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Speaker 4: episode by saying, stay black. I can protect your magic,

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Speaker 4: so I'll hope you do.

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Speaker 2: So Currie, see you on next week.