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Speaker 1: One eight hundred d UI away now offering free remote

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Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.

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Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote

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Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred ui

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Speaker 1: away dot com or call eight hundred Do you y away?

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Speaker 2: Did you know that there are some people out there

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Speaker 2: who still use the library?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: I do?

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Speaker 2: Are so over eight years old?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god? Libraries are great and air conditioned. Yah.

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Speaker 2: Well we know this because a guy set up his

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Speaker 2: brother who recently went to the library to check out

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Speaker 2: movies and comic books. Again, he's over eight years old.

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Speaker 2: He was an adult, and of course Brook makes the

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Speaker 2: perfect librarian. She's going to go in on him in

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Speaker 2: your phone. Tap right now, another on the twenty.

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Speaker 3: Hello, h right, I'm calling from the public library. I'm

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Speaker 3: the librarian here. My name is Fiona, Fiona friend Gloom.

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Speaker 4: Hi.

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Speaker 3: Can you hear me? Am I speaking to Philip?

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Speaker 4: Uh? Yeah, what is this regarding Are.

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Speaker 3: You in the bathroom right now?

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Speaker 4: It sounds echoing, Uh nope, I'm in my office.

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Speaker 3: Oh funny, Okay, Well Philip, you came in here yesterday

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Speaker 3: and rented a DVD.

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Speaker 4: I did. That's correct.

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Speaker 3: Oh, look at that, it looks like it was con Air.

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Speaker 3: I love that movie. Sorry, Nicholas Cage, great pick. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I love those old airplane hijack prison things. Huh.

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Speaker 4: Is there a reason why you're calling? Or I'm sorry? Like,

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Speaker 4: what's what's going on?

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Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. Yeah, to the point, listen, while

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Speaker 3: you were here, we noticed that you look through a

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Speaker 3: few of our comic books in the teen section. Yes,

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Speaker 3: you weren't there to meet teens, were you.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry? What what do you mean by there to

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Speaker 4: meet teens?

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Speaker 3: You paused a little long there. It's kind of a

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Speaker 3: yes or no question.

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Speaker 4: No is the answer. I mean, I don't I don't

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Speaker 4: understand why you're implying by asking questions.

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Speaker 3: Just protocol I have to ask. Kind of weird when

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Speaker 3: adult males there.

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Speaker 4: But anyway, what I like comic books. That's a that's

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Speaker 4: a normal thing for somebody to read.

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Speaker 3: Totally totally normal. So I do need to inform you that,

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Speaker 3: as of today, you are no longer welcome in the facility.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry, what I'm no longer welcome because the comic

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Speaker 4: books are in the teen section no.

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Speaker 3: No, I believe you on that despite that long pause. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: this does in regards to our fecal spectrometer.

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Speaker 4: Readings, your fecal spectrometer readings. I have no idea what

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Speaker 4: that means.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm surprised all libraries have them. Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 3: device I can tell if you've used any of our

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Speaker 3: reading material wall in a bathroom, if you didn't wash

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Speaker 3: your hands and it transferred to the pages.

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Speaker 4: I'm happy to say that I have good hygiene like

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Speaker 4: I didn't. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: That's funny because I'm going to let you know one

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Speaker 3: of our comic books that you were reading came back

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Speaker 3: with severely high levels of I'll say bathroom matter.

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Speaker 4: Right, But firstly, since when do you all do stupid

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Speaker 4: poop tests on your magazine?

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Speaker 3: Okay, now they're stupid. Here's the thing. We've never had

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Speaker 3: this high of level before. So we even had to

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Speaker 3: shut the library down this morning for a deep cleaning.

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Speaker 4: That's ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: And see why this is a big deal.

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Speaker 4: Just throw away the magazine. And secondly, if it's a

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Speaker 4: comic book, I guarantee you some kid picked that up.

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Speaker 4: A little kid. Kid's fault.

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Speaker 3: So first you try to meet teens, then you blame

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Speaker 3: it on them.

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Speaker 4: This line of questioning is inappropriate.

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Speaker 3: You know what question I do have for you is

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Speaker 3: I just need to know if you happen to use

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Speaker 3: one of those pages to.

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Speaker 4: Wipe that's disgusting.

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Speaker 3: Did you do that?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: I didn't know because the levels were out of this world.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you mentioned that already, and it's not mine.

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Speaker 3: I think I know what's going on. Are you one

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Speaker 3: of those hand earthers where you believe hands should wash

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Speaker 3: themselves naturally without soper waters.

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Speaker 4: That's not even a thing. No, I'm not a hand earther.

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Speaker 3: We got a book on it. Actually, it's very much

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Speaker 3: a thing.

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Speaker 4: Huh. Okay, well it's not my thing. Okay, I didn't

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Speaker 4: wipe crap on the magazine. There's no way you can

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Speaker 4: officially tell it was me.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it more and it's making me sick

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Speaker 3: thinking of what you're reading of your phone. This is

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Speaker 3: making my spectrometer was near your phone, I bet it'd

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Speaker 3: be like.

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Speaker 2: WHOA, what.

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Speaker 3: Mine's going off right now? Did you touch the library

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Speaker 3: phone and pollemy?

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Speaker 4: No? If that's the sound, if that's the sound of

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Speaker 4: your stupid spectrometer you're the one who caused a problem. Okay,

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Speaker 4: not me, you know, actually that's not me. You'm not

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Speaker 4: just hear it going off like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not possible at all because I don't even

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Speaker 3: work at the library.

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Speaker 4: Then who are you?

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Speaker 3: This is actually brug from the radio show Brooke and

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Speaker 3: Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone tap on you.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, your.

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Speaker 3: Brother Brian set you up for a prank phone call.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 3: He said, he's always making fun of you for your

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Speaker 3: comic book obsession.

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Speaker 4: When you said that I had put DC's on a magazine,

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Speaker 4: I was like, that is not possible, and then asking

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Speaker 4: me why I was in the teen section. I was like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, my heart was my god.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I mean it does look a little weird, right.

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Speaker 4: I like comic books, okay, like at the library. Places

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Speaker 4: are there.

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Speaker 3: I have to go there, but you don't have to

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Speaker 3: take them into the bathroom.

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Speaker 4: And I don't sure totally what.

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Speaker 3: Our readings said.

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Speaker 4: Oh, wake Up every morning.

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Speaker 1: Was full tap weekday mornings on

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Speaker 3: The twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning