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Speaker 1: Welcome to stuff Mom Never told You from house supports

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Speaker 1: dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen

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Speaker 1: and I'm Caroline. And first off, I would like to

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Speaker 1: stay Happy birthday to Caroline, because this is your Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: episode and your birthday is on Thanksgiving this year. I

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Speaker 1: love it. I love this birthday cycle that I have

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Speaker 1: where every couple of years I get to pretend that

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Speaker 1: the giant feast and the pie that follows is just

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Speaker 1: for me. Now, will you have a special cake in

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Speaker 1: addition to pies? Okay, that's yeah, chocolate and chocolate. Man,

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Speaker 1: I like your birthday style. Thanks. Well, you have a

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Speaker 1: woman to thank for this Thanksgiving slash birthday feast that

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Speaker 1: you will be having. And I'm not talking about your mama, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: no offense to Sally. I'm talking about Sarah Josepha Hale.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, she is the mother of Thanksgiving. Yeah and

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Speaker 1: uh much like the mother of Mother's Day. Um and Jarvis. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there we go, and a Jarvis who stars in one

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Speaker 1: of our videos. Um. Sarah Hale had very particular ideas

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Speaker 1: about how Thanksgivings should go, and you know, of course

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Speaker 1: that included starting the Thanksgiving mythology about the wonderful dinner

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Speaker 1: coming together of the Native Americans and the Pilgrims. Indeed,

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Speaker 1: the six one feast that's often cited as the first Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: which was thrown by the Pilgrims a k a. The

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Speaker 1: brownest English dissenters, was as Thanksgiving. Scholars, and yes there

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Speaker 1: are Thanksgiving scholars would point out was merely the result

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Speaker 1: of their puritanical fasting and feasting tradition, right, and and

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Speaker 1: so it was not uncommon to have a Thanksgiving feast,

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Speaker 1: a a giving of thanks celebration if something amazing happened,

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Speaker 1: and in this particular case, it was because they were

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Speaker 1: thanking God for having a great food store. They had

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Speaker 1: made it through the winter and they had enough food

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Speaker 1: and tasty morsels and things. It was definitely not a

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Speaker 1: scheduled ritual that would have been presumptuous, because they were

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Speaker 1: These feasts were indirect, direct correlation with something awesome that

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Speaker 1: happened that was from God in their in their view. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and on the flip side of that, they would have

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Speaker 1: these days of feasting, yes, but they would also have

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Speaker 1: those periods of fasting to where they would be seeking

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Speaker 1: perhaps mercy from God by abstaining from food. So the

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Speaker 1: whole idea of the Pilgrims coming together with the Wampanoag

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Speaker 1: Native Americans and having this happy, go lucky, wonderful meal

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Speaker 1: that then set off the course of Thanksgiving history as

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Speaker 1: we know it is a bit of revisionist history courtesy

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Speaker 1: of Sarah Josepha Hale. Although that's not to say that

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Speaker 1: there weren't other Thanksgiving like celebrations that would happen. This

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Speaker 1: was pretty common to have a giant meal to celebrate something. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: that's my favorite way to celebrate something. Um. In seventeen

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Speaker 1: seventy seven, the Continental Congress declared a Thanksgiving, and in

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Speaker 1: seventy nine Washington called for a repeat, and until eighteen fifteen,

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Speaker 1: New Englander's usually continued the tradition. But it is Mrs

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Speaker 1: Hale who we can thank for this glorious day of turkey. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we learned more about s. J. Hale over at

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Speaker 1: the National Women's History Museum and the Boston Women's Heritage Trail.

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Speaker 1: She was born in New Hampshire in sevent taught herself

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Speaker 1: at home while her brother went off to Dartmouth, because

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Speaker 1: that's kind of how schooling went those days, and Her parents, though,

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Speaker 1: did believe that their daughter should get a quality education,

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Speaker 1: but just not in public, right, not not to the house.

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Speaker 1: Oh lord? Um. Yeah, And she would sometimes study the

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Speaker 1: books that her brother bought brought home from college. And

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Speaker 1: in eighteen o six, with all of this great education

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Speaker 1: she received at eighteen, she opened a private school and

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Speaker 1: taught there until marrying lawyer David Hale in eighteen thirteen.

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Speaker 1: But then David the lawyer died in two and so

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Speaker 1: she had five kids at the time and thought to herself, Sarah,

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Speaker 1: what are we gonna do to take care of all

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Speaker 1: these kids? And she was a writer, and so she

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Speaker 1: she wrote the book of poems, The Genius of Oblivion

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Speaker 1: and other poems. And she also wrote a novel called

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Speaker 1: Northwood In that had a lot of info in there

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Speaker 1: on a Thanksgiving celebration, a traditional New England Thanksgiving. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love how she paints Thanksgiving as something that everybody

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Speaker 1: should participate in. Um. She also wrote Mary had a

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Speaker 1: Little Lamb in eighteen thirty so and so we just

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Speaker 1: shouldn't podcast there. This woman created Thanksgiving and wrote Mary

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Speaker 1: had a Little Lamb. The end done. Um. Side note though,

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Speaker 1: during this time that she was doing all of this writing.

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Speaker 1: In eighteen thirty three, she established the Semen's Aid Society

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Speaker 1: in Boston to provide employment for the wives of sailors

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Speaker 1: as seamstresses and a place for them to sell their work.

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Speaker 1: She also developed an industrial school for semen's daughters and

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Speaker 1: a day nursery. So she was like, we're ahead of

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Speaker 1: the curve on having on site daycare. And even though

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Speaker 1: this is jumping forward a bit in the timeline, I

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Speaker 1: would I would like to note that one of her

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Speaker 1: literary successes was her compilation of a woman's encyclopedia. Going

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Speaker 1: along too with this theme of her push for women's

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Speaker 1: education and employment opportunities, she wrote Women's Records or Sketches

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Speaker 1: of all distinguished Women from the Creation to a d

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Speaker 1: eighteen fifty four, arranged in four eras, with selections from

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Speaker 1: female rights of every age. I appreciate how the nineteenth

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Speaker 1: century subtitles We're so blessedly long, it's just it's great um.

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Speaker 1: But before this, though, before she wrote her Women's Encyclopedia,

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Speaker 1: she had acquired all this literary success and became the

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Speaker 1: editor of the American Ladies magazine and then the editor

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Speaker 1: of the Goadies Ladies Journal. And while that might not

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Speaker 1: sound like a big deal, that was essentially like her

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Speaker 1: becoming Joannicole, who is the now editor of Cosmopolitan. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a pretty big deal. I mean, she was in

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Speaker 1: this role for forty years, and she used the magazine

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Speaker 1: as a platform to advocate for women's education. Um for instance,

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Speaker 1: one example, she was very supportive of Vassar when it

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Speaker 1: opened its stores in eighteen sixty five. And in this magazine,

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Speaker 1: Godie's Ladies Journal, she published reading lists just like Oprah.

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Speaker 1: So she's this woman. I swear she's a trailblazer, and

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Speaker 1: she would list schools that accepted women. And she also,

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Speaker 1: in addition to starting that Semen's Aid Society, she championed

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Speaker 1: women pursuing careers like teaching and medicine. And she also

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Speaker 1: supported her claims though with contemporary contemporary ideas of women

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Speaker 1: being more pious and pure, saying that women are basically

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Speaker 1: more cut out for teaching in medicine than men. I

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Speaker 1: will note though, that I I learned and this is

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Speaker 1: not thanks to being related, but I did learn a

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Speaker 1: couple of days ago that Goadies under the editorial leadership

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Speaker 1: of Sarah Josephina Hale was largely responsible to for popularizing

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Speaker 1: the tradition of white wedding gowns in the United States

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Speaker 1: because Queen Victoria had her eighteen forty weddings, she wore

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Speaker 1: the white gown, and a decade later in Goatis there

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Speaker 1: is this edict essentially saying women, white is the color

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Speaker 1: you must wear. So, I mean, that's just an example

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Speaker 1: of how influential to this magazine was the time. And

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Speaker 1: once she took over, she dedicated pretty much every November

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Speaker 1: to lobbying for a national Day of thanks She used

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Speaker 1: her platform. Yeah, she called for a pious, patriotic holiday

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Speaker 1: that would serve as a check against temptation or a

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Speaker 1: comfort in tough times. And she wanted all to participate

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Speaker 1: in this Thanksgiving holiday regardless of race, ethnicity, or social standing.

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Speaker 1: And Anna Blue Wills, who was an associate professor at Davidson,

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Speaker 1: did a really intensive study of Goaties and Sarah Josephine

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Speaker 1: new Hales campaign for Thanksgiving, and she found that hal

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Speaker 1: was largely pushing for Thanksgiving, even more so as the

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Speaker 1: tensions increased between the North and the South. The closer

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Speaker 1: that we got to the Civil War, the more Hale

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Speaker 1: was calling for a Thanksgiving. And she even used Goatis

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Speaker 1: as a platform kind of like a in a Martha

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Speaker 1: Stewart's sort of way, to tell readers how to deck,

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Speaker 1: rate and dress for Thanksgiving. Of course she included plenty

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Speaker 1: of recipes, right. And so I mean during this whole

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Speaker 1: time though, like we mentioned, Thanksgiving was already these celebrations

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Speaker 1: were already in New England tradition. It was already something

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Speaker 1: that was going on. But Hale really for decades used

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Speaker 1: her platform to urge presidents to make this a national holiday.

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Speaker 1: She was not just sitting there writing columns or screaming

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Speaker 1: out and to the abyss. I mean, she was really

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Speaker 1: pushing this to be a national holiday. Yeah. It took

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Speaker 1: her thirty eight years, and I think she started with

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Speaker 1: President Polk writing him and saying, please, let's have this

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Speaker 1: day of thanks Um. And then in on novembery eight sixty,

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Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln had his own Thanksgiving with his family after

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Speaker 1: just being elected. Because this is very common again, this

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Speaker 1: idea of celebrating something great that has happened with the

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Speaker 1: delicious meal of food and link and did have a

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Speaker 1: roasted turkey as is only proper indeed, Um, And I

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Speaker 1: mean you know, Lincoln was not the only person to

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Speaker 1: be doing this. It was happening in the South too.

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Speaker 1: After the Civil War got underway. On July sixty one,

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Speaker 1: Confederate President Jefferson Davis called for Thanksgiving celebration in the

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Speaker 1: South after their victory at bull Run, and a year later,

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Speaker 1: in September of eighteen sixty two, the Confederacy held its

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Speaker 1: second and final Thanksgiving after their second bull Run victory.

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Speaker 1: And that leads us up to eighteen sixty three, when

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Speaker 1: Lincoln issues not one, but two Thanksgiving proclamations. Yes, eighteen

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Speaker 1: sixty three is the year for Thanksgiving in the United States.

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Speaker 1: On August six, he issues his first proclamation after the

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Speaker 1: Union's victory at Gettysburg, and then he issues his second,

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Speaker 1: declaring Thanksgiving a holiday. And this was really a decisive

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Speaker 1: political move for or him due to the Civil War.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this was a not so symbolic way to say, hey, nation,

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Speaker 1: things are going really poorly, but can we just get

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Speaker 1: together for a meal and in a lot of turkey. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was a good way to sort of

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Speaker 1: try to knit knit everybody back together. And on October three,

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Speaker 1: eighteen sixty three, when he issued his proclamation. He says,

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Speaker 1: I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part

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Speaker 1: of the United States, and also those who are at

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Speaker 1: sea and those who are sojourneying in foreign lands, to

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Speaker 1: set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next

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Speaker 1: as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent

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Speaker 1: father who dwelleth in the heavens. Could you go back

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Speaker 1: and say all that in your Abraham Lincoln voice, beneficent

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Speaker 1: father who dwelleth in the heavens. That's that. That's he

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Speaker 1: had a high pitched voice like I've read las. Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's true. Yeah, you got little Daniel day Lewis Lincoln

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Speaker 1: going on there. If there's one thing that anyone has

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Speaker 1: ever said about me, it's that I am so Daniel.

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Speaker 1: They lew it. It's true. It's true. Um. Then, in

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Speaker 1: eighteen sixty four, Thanksgiving was not so surprisingly heavily focused

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Speaker 1: on thanking the Union troops for doing their work in

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Speaker 1: the Civil War. And it seems like from there, with

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Speaker 1: this history of Thanksgiving, it just where it takes off.

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Speaker 1: From there, Perhaps because Sarah Josephina Hale had so diligently

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Speaker 1: set the foundation of outlining the guidelines for proper Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: in goadis. People knew the decor, they knew what to wear,

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Speaker 1: they knew the food to cook, and you already had

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Speaker 1: that tradition already going on, so it just needed a

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Speaker 1: little push. And who wouldn't be like, well, sure, we'll

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Speaker 1: take this national holiday where we have a day off

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Speaker 1: from work and get to eat all day, right, but

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Speaker 1: we'll we'll get to why it's not such a day

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Speaker 1: off for women in a second. But I mean a

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Speaker 1: side note in FDR tried to push Thanksgiving back one week.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what is he doing at the hest

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Speaker 1: of retailers looking for more shopping time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

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Speaker 1: And people did not go for that. Yeah, people got

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Speaker 1: so mad that they started calling it Frank's Giving, which

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Speaker 1: is so funny. And he finally threw in the towel

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Speaker 1: and said, oh, okay, listen, we're gonna have it at

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Speaker 1: the normal time. People. Americans were very attached to Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: Although I would like to take a moment and acknowledge

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Speaker 1: Canadian Thanksgiving, which happens in October. And I did some

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Speaker 1: research for a stuff I never told you YouTube video

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Speaker 1: on Canadian Thanksgiving foods and all of their traditional Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: foods are the same as our traditional Thanksgiving foods because

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Speaker 1: the British Loyalist Post seventeen seventies six high tailed it

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Speaker 1: out of the United States, took their pumpkins and turkeys

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Speaker 1: and squashes with them up to Canada and sort of

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Speaker 1: disseminated those traditions. Although I'm sure Canadians, I'm not saying

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Speaker 1: that you are copycatting us. I'm just say that Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: us an interesting tradition that is shared across the borders

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Speaker 1: because of our Puritan roots. Yeah, exactly, exactly, And over

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Speaker 1: the History Kitchen Tory Avy gives us some more information

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Speaker 1: into Hale's ideal Thanksgiving and what those foods, those ritualistic

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Speaker 1: foods that we eat every year, would have been like

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Speaker 1: back in Hale's day. And the answer is not unlike

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Speaker 1: what they are today. There's that scene that we referenced

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Speaker 1: in her novel Northwood about their Thanksgiving celebration, and Hale wrote,

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Speaker 1: the roasted turkey took precedence on this occasion, being placed

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Speaker 1: at the head of the table, and well did it

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Speaker 1: become it's lordly stations, sending forth the rich odor of

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Speaker 1: its savory stuffing and finally covered with the frost of baking.

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Speaker 1: Oh it sounds wonderful. Well, and vegetarian and vegan listeners

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Speaker 1: plug your ears for a second, because Hale's idea of

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is really a meats giving. Because us she advocated

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Speaker 1: not only serving the turkey, but you also have to

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Speaker 1: toss out a sirloin of beef, a leg of port,

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Speaker 1: and of course a joint of mutton. Well, you know

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Speaker 1: this is good news for a friend of mine who

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Speaker 1: is distraught because her brother host Thanksgiving and he prefers

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Speaker 1: at standing rim roast and she's like, that is not

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Speaker 1: that is not Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving as a turkey, we never

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Speaker 1: have turkey except on Thanksgiving. And I suggested, hey, well

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Speaker 1: why don't you bring the turkey from your house and

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Speaker 1: you can have both and then it can be a

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Speaker 1: real meats giving and then you can make incredible sandwiches.

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Speaker 1: After sagurated that um. Other foods that were suggested for

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Speaker 1: the celebration included oysters, soups, turkey, ham roast, beef, chicken pie, rice, potatoes, cranberries,

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Speaker 1: macaroni pies, cakes, fruit, and coffee. Yes. Please, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: more elaborate than my family's Thanksgiving style. Yeah, we have

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Speaker 1: turkey and stuffing. We have squash castrole, we have the

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Speaker 1: canned cranberry jelly because my father love that. My mother

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Speaker 1: also makes um. Someone out there, please please fill me

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Speaker 1: in on if your family does this too. My mother

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Speaker 1: makes tomato aspect, which is tomato jello jello that is

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Speaker 1: made with v eight and vegetables suspended in mid jello.

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Speaker 1: But of course she calls it tomata aspect because her

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Speaker 1: mother was from Virginia. So is it some kind of

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Speaker 1: regional tradition. I guess, well, that's what I want to

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Speaker 1: find out from listeners because I'm lazy and haven't googled it.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, tell me, tell you know. If anybody else

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Speaker 1: out there serves that really gross jello every year, I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to think if they're. My mom switches up the

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Speaker 1: menu every now that we have like a list of

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Speaker 1: of traditional Thanksgiving items that she'll kind of circulate through

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Speaker 1: each year, and none are as peculiar as aspect. It

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Speaker 1: is peculiar and really only like three people out of

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Speaker 1: twenty eat it. Yeah, but yeah, it's it's passed down

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Speaker 1: from Virginia. That's I had I would have never associated

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Speaker 1: aspect with Thanksgiving. But hey, that's a great thing about Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: You can mix it up if you want to. Um.

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Speaker 1: But in addition, though to hail, sort of giving us

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Speaker 1: this bountiful menu for us to enjoy, like we said

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Speaker 1: at the top of the podcast. She was also responsible

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Speaker 1: for popularizing that story of that first Pilgrim Thanksgiving, which

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Speaker 1: did happen. That meal did happen, but certainly not in

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Speaker 1: the glorified sense that she put it in, because that

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Speaker 1: was also part of her entire propaganda campaign, because she

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Speaker 1: was like, this is celebrating America, you know, right, and

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Speaker 1: what's terrifying? And I had no idea about any of this.

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Speaker 1: But within five short years of her publishing this romanticized tale,

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Speaker 1: it was included in textbooks, textbooks people. And this was

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Speaker 1: just a political meeting between between Native Americans and Puritans, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, being like, hey, what's up. We've got the

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Speaker 1: stuff going on. Uh, here's some squash. It wasn't so

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Speaker 1: much like let's all sit down and be puppies and

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Speaker 1: rainbows forever. Yeah, the Wampanoag Native Americans weren't welcoming everyone

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Speaker 1: with open arms saying yes, have all of my land actually,

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Speaker 1: and for that reason, though, starting in nineteen seventy, Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: became known as national the National Day of Mourning to

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Speaker 1: the United American Indians of New England. So that's that's

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Speaker 1: the dark side of Thanksgiving that we often don't talk

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Speaker 1: about so much as we were feasting on our food.

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Speaker 1: Is that, yeah, that the celebratory roots do have their

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Speaker 1: darker corners in terms of the land that we did

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Speaker 1: take what we were actually celebrating, in terms of you know,

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Speaker 1: right taking over a spot that wasn't ours. Well, you

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Speaker 1: know the great thing about Thanksgiving being scheduled on a Thursday,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're like, why why Thursday? Well, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just it's just so great for us. Kristen as

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Speaker 1: as women who were often in the kitchen um in

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Speaker 1: eighteen seventies six, Hale rights, should not the women of

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Speaker 1: America have one festival and whose rejoicings they can fully participate.

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Speaker 1: So basically, having Thanksgiving on a Thursday is the most

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Speaker 1: convenient day because women can prepare this feast all leading

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Speaker 1: up to Thanksgiving on a Thursday and then get right

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Speaker 1: back in the kitchen and have everything ready for Sunday dinner. Well,

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Speaker 1: Hale was trying to do women a solid. She I

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Speaker 1: think she she had altruistic motives for wanting women to

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Speaker 1: be able to really get involved with this holiday in

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Speaker 1: showcase our talents as not just cooks, but also as nurturers.

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Speaker 1: And she talked about how a successful meal was meant

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Speaker 1: to stand in tribute to the quote unquote artistry of

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Speaker 1: the housewife, who would probably have the power to serve

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Speaker 1: a lovely dinner even in the midst of a forest.

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Speaker 1: I'll have to tell my mother this, you know, when

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Speaker 1: I when I go home for Thanksgiving and just be like,

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Speaker 1: you know, your artistry, this with this butter ball that

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Speaker 1: you have thought in the bathtub, which is also its

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Speaker 1: own annual ritual. I tell you what, I've been to

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Speaker 1: some Thanksgiving feasts that are certainly artistry. But one thing

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Speaker 1: I was surprised to not find in the follow up

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Speaker 1: research to this aspect of Thanksgiving, which is how it

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Speaker 1: was kind of engineered to have women cooking, were today's

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Speaker 1: statistics on the time women spend in the kitchen, the

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Speaker 1: percentage of women who are responsible for Thanksgiving meals. And

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Speaker 1: there was nothing I could find about that. I guess

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Speaker 1: just because it's the assumption that we'll do it. Maybe

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I am terrified of ever having to

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Speaker 1: take over Thanksgiving because that just seems like so much.

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Speaker 1: I mean, my mother is exhausted by the time dinner

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Speaker 1: is served. My mom also exhausts herself as well, but

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Speaker 1: I feel like she really enjoys it. My mom certainly

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Speaker 1: embraces more of the Sarah Jucyfa Hale aspect of Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: where it does showcase her capabilities in the kitchen, which

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Speaker 1: are very good and delicious. Um. And I've hosted my

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Speaker 1: parents before though, for Thanksgiving, and it was a frenzied morning.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you that trying to get all those cast

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Speaker 1: roles ready at the same time is a challenge. It

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Speaker 1: is a challenge. And I still never cooked a turkey.

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Speaker 1: Oh well. Actually, one of my favorite stories that my

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Speaker 1: mother tells every year at Thanksgiving is the first Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: that she and my father had after they were married,

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Speaker 1: and his parents came down for it, and my hi

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Speaker 1: father's mother, Um, it was an opinionated lady, just put

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Speaker 1: it that way, and she demanded that my mother tent

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Speaker 1: the bird, tent the bird, and put a tinfoil tent

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Speaker 1: over the turkey for the entirety of its roasting, which

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Speaker 1: if you know, if you've done any recent reading on

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Speaker 1: cooking at turkey, you know that it's good to put

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Speaker 1: it on like the last five or ten minutes to

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Speaker 1: really make the skin all crispy and wonderful. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: after the bird had been done cooking for had been

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Speaker 1: cooking for like what six hours or some crazy number, Um,

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Speaker 1: it was white. It was a white, lukewarm, kind of

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Speaker 1: disgusting looking butter ball. And so what did she do?

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Speaker 1: How did she save Thanksgiving? You have to rip that

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Speaker 1: tent off. My godmother was like, sadly rip the tent

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Speaker 1: off to get rid of the tent. And so yeah,

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving was saved by like cooking it for just a

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Speaker 1: little while longer to make it brown up a little.

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Speaker 1: It's sun I mean, thinking about how this day started

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Speaker 1: with one woman's thirty eight year campaign for it, it's incredible.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of incredible. So it's so passionate about us

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Speaker 1: having a national Thanksgiving that she went on for a

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Speaker 1: bulk of her life. But we're doing it wrong. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think if if Sarah Jesseva Hale were around, I

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Speaker 1: think she would not be so pleased with the fact

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Speaker 1: that we are worshiping in front of the football game

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Speaker 1: on TV as opposed to spending the day in church

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Speaker 1: and then feasting. Yeah, and she certainly would not like

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Speaker 1: the most recent developments of some stores now opening Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: nights so we can get started on our holiday shopping.

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Speaker 1: That stresses me out just even thinking about it. Let's

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Speaker 1: not think about it. What we need to think about, Caroline,

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Speaker 1: is the fact that it is a day of feasting

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Speaker 1: and also this year a day of your birth celebrations.

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Speaker 1: So everybody email carolines and happy birthday tidings posted on

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Speaker 1: our Facebook tweet us uh, moms of a Discovery dot

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Speaker 1: com is where you can email us and share your

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving stories with us. We hope that everyone listening, at

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Speaker 1: least to the United States. Sorry for international listeners. I

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Speaker 1: realize it's not your Thanksgiving, but I hope this was

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Speaker 1: entertaining and we would love to hear whatever tradition you

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Speaker 1: have for giving thanks celebrating a day hopefully with family

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Speaker 1: and friends, or just eating a turkey sandwich by yourself

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Speaker 1: and watching Netflix with which also sounds nice. Let us

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Speaker 1: know what you're doing for the day, mom said. A

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Speaker 1: Discovery dot com is where you can email us. You

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Speaker 1: can also tweet us at mom Stuff Podcast or find

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Speaker 1: us on Facebook, and we have a couple of messages

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Speaker 1: to share with you when we come right back from

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Speaker 1: a quick break and now back to our letters. Well,

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Speaker 1: I've got an email here from Brandon in response to

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Speaker 1: a podcast a little while ago about women and true crime,

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Speaker 1: so he wanted to toss in his two cents as well.

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Speaker 1: He says, I do have to be contradictory on one point.

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Speaker 1: As I understood it near the end of the episode,

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Speaker 1: you seem to imply that most true crime shows depict

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Speaker 1: a crime perpetrated by a stranger. I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: exactly the opposite. I don't have the number by any means,

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Speaker 1: but my instinct is that the majority of shows depict

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Speaker 1: crime within a family, to the point that I have

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Speaker 1: sometimes turned off an episode as it starts because it

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Speaker 1: sounds like yet another husband murderous wife, or vice versa case.

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Speaker 1: The ones that are more random stick out more in

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Speaker 1: my mind because they seem more rare, and because I

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Speaker 1: tend to be a little more interested in them. I

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Speaker 1: have this probably arrogant idea that I would be able

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Speaker 1: to tell if a friend or family member was so

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Speaker 1: unstable as to be a risk before anything happened. But

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Speaker 1: I can't do anything to anticipate a more random crime. Again,

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Speaker 1: all this is based on my instinctive reaction from years

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Speaker 1: of random true crime viewing, so not nearly scientific. One

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Speaker 1: thing I am curious about that you find any thoughts

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Speaker 1: or statistics about the popularity of unsolved crimes. Those have

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Speaker 1: always been the most fascinating to me, the open question,

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Speaker 1: and clearly there's been a market for it, which shows

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Speaker 1: like unsolved mysteries, but it does and offer the same

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Speaker 1: sense of closure, And we didn't see any unsolved mystery statistics.

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Speaker 1: Although that show scared the poop out of me as

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Speaker 1: a kid, my instinct would be that it's not as

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Speaker 1: popular as True front because it does seem like a

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Speaker 1: lot of the attraction there is seeing the person come

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Speaker 1: to justice. I think it might be a slightly different

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Speaker 1: audience everything. Yeah, yeah, I do not like unsolved mysteries either. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's always missed. Like I said in that episode, why

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Speaker 1: is there always fog? Anyway? I have a letter here

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Speaker 1: from Mari talking about our Diamond Engagement Ring episode. Um.

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Speaker 1: She says, I got engaged last year and my fiance

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Speaker 1: was smart enough to ask about my ring preferences. Since

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00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: learning about blood diamonds a few years back, I've been

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Speaker 1: set on a sapphire engagement ring excluding diamonds, if at

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Speaker 1: all possible. Unfortunately, you wouldn't believe how hard it is

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Speaker 1: to find loose sapphires that can be turned in to

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Speaker 1: traditional type engage rings. We are fortunate to be living

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Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, where there is a huge jewelry and

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Speaker 1: gem destrict. However, despite the thousands of gem dealers in

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Speaker 1: the area, we found only a few that had loose sapphires. Luckily,

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Speaker 1: we found a gem of a shop that has thousands

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Speaker 1: of sapphires and we were able to find just the

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Speaker 1: right color and shape. She says, sapphires come in almost

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Speaker 1: every color in shape. Naturally, having chosen the right sapphire,

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Speaker 1: I waited for my soon to be betrothed to propose.

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00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: But in this waiting period I experienced a fear and panic.

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00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: I didn't expect what if people shunned by non diamond

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00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: engagement ring? What if I was skipping out on the

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00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: traditional engagement ring and would regret it later. Fortunately, once

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Speaker 1: I saw the ring, all those fears dissipated. Looking back now,

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Speaker 1: I see that those fears were born of the exact

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Speaker 1: social pressures that you too were discussing in your podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad I didn't let society change my mind because

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00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: I absolutely love my one of a kind sapphire engagement

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Speaker 1: ring and I get compliments on it all the time.

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Speaker 1: Hurrah for originality and pushing the social norms. And Maury,

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00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 1: my mother also has a sapphire engagement ring slash wedding ring,

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Speaker 1: but she has diamonds on hers too, But so anyway,

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Speaker 1: thank you for the awesome story and congratulations on the

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Speaker 1: awesome ring and the wedding. Yeah, that ring sounds gorgeous,

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00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: and thanks to everybody who's written in mom Stuff. Discovery

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