Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself
Speaker 1: perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you
Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests,
Speaker 1: your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff,
Speaker 1: So how do you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Winneger. What's
Speaker 2: going on for that? I think this is the first recording.
Speaker 2: This is the first recording since we're back from Chicago
Speaker 2: or I'm I don't know why I say weird. It
Speaker 2: was simply me. In Chicago. I had no help, zero assistance.
Speaker 2: It was just me kind of stumbling through the city
Speaker 2: putting on a show. Had a wonderful time. The audience
Speaker 2: was begging to leave. The theater was nearly empty before
Speaker 2: the show was even over. Let's see what happened. Oh,
Speaker 2: I did wish a Hannah happy birthday on stage. Later
Speaker 2: found out her name was Heidi so but it's now
Speaker 2: too late to womb. Sorry to interrupt, but Klom, Heidi
Speaker 2: Klum was there demanding a happy birth.
Speaker 3: Well, Hannah Klum was her birth name. Heidi Klum's her
Speaker 3: Hollywood name. It's a little flashy. You were saying. I
Speaker 3: didn't mean to interrupt. This isn't about Our guest is
Speaker 3: just trying to burst into the show, and we'll get
Speaker 3: to him in a moment, and we should get to
Speaker 3: him quickly because I'm already rambling.
Speaker 2: But and there's very little going on. What's going on,
Speaker 2: the Patreons still happening. I'm now, as you know, kind
Speaker 2: of doing bonus episodes about the secret lives of Mormon wives.
Speaker 2: That's become almost my entire existence just thinking about those gals.
Speaker 2: So come on over. And then I just I saw
Speaker 2: Mission Impossible last night, followed every moment of it. It
Speaker 2: was perfectly clear what was going on. Tom Cruise has
Speaker 2: completely transformed into kind of a tough as nails aunt,
Speaker 2: looks like your mom's sisters, who's had a real year.
Speaker 2: But actually I didn't have that good of a time.
Speaker 2: Maybe I had ten minutes of a good time. I
Speaker 2: kept trying to fall asleep and that didn't take. So
Speaker 2: take from whatever that what you will. Let's get into
Speaker 2: the show. I love today's guest. It's Josh Sharp. Josh,
Speaker 2: You're already on the show. Welcomed, I said, no gifts.
Speaker 3: I'm jealous. You saw that impossible mission. Yeah, those films,
Speaker 3: I really do. What was the last When you saw
Speaker 3: the last one and you've seen everyone, and I go
Speaker 3: to theater and I have a big thing of popcorn,
Speaker 3: just as Tom intended, and I paced it out of
Speaker 3: of course the whole film. I don't need it before
Speaker 3: we know he hits oppressive. I love it. I feel
Speaker 3: he's the most populist movie star we have in the lot.
Speaker 3: Justin being popular. I like that. He's like, I do
Speaker 3: my own, I will live or die. He's doing everything
Speaker 3: myself off the cliff for your pleasure.
Speaker 2: But I'll say in this one, I think there are
Speaker 2: two stunts, and one of them is kind of it's
Speaker 2: unclear what the stunt is. It's largely underwater and he's
Speaker 2: in an underwater suit, and it's like, what I guess
Speaker 2: he's He's just floating through water, that's the stunt. Sure,
Speaker 2: because there are parts where there's a deep because it
Speaker 2: gets dodgy down there. Yeah, that's the big question. But
Speaker 2: why would he need to be that far down for
Speaker 2: a movie?
Speaker 3: Well, because he's Tom. Why does he need to do
Speaker 3: any of this sport movie? Why? Because he cares? Why
Speaker 3: does he need to ride a motorcycle off a cliff.
Speaker 3: He loves Hollywood magic. He loves Hollywood magic. And you
Speaker 3: can get the bins real easy. That in the movie.
Speaker 3: I bet it is a big plot point. You might
Speaker 3: get the bin.
Speaker 2: So then I don't want to give anything minutes.
Speaker 3: A film right there discussing the bins. It'd be great
Speaker 3: if he got in the bloodstream. Is that what it is?
Speaker 3: I think nitrogen or something nitrogen and then it makes
Speaker 3: you dizzy to kill stuff there. No, I don't want
Speaker 3: nitrogen in the blood stream. I'll tell you that girl.
Speaker 3: You do not want nitrogen in your blood stream.
Speaker 2: He goes very deep and then shoots up to the surface.
Speaker 3: Well that's the part that'll get you. As someone who's
Speaker 3: scuba dove, yes, about three times a decade ago. You
Speaker 3: really have to pace your way up. I mean you
Speaker 3: have how you get the bends. You have a history
Speaker 3: of scuba doving. It's water.
Speaker 2: Well, this is true, I mean this is I love
Speaker 2: the stuff. I don't know that's all you want to
Speaker 2: talk about or not.
Speaker 3: It is true. It tried to kill me last year,
Speaker 3: and you can find out all about this and Josharp
Speaker 3: today my one man off Broadway show starting at the
Speaker 3: Greenwich Hut the year later. Can I Yeah, I don't
Speaker 3: know what you're gonna clip. I actually don't know how
Speaker 3: your I don't know how your audience listens to this.
Speaker 3: Maybe they started the end and go to the beginning,
Speaker 3: or Memento style. Maybe they started at either end and
Speaker 3: meet in the middle. That's a podcast. I just have
Speaker 3: a series of polaroids of the podcast to try to
Speaker 3: figure out what was going on. I've got to mention
Speaker 3: dot Josh sharp to dot within every forty five seconds.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get it in a clip. I know the game.
Speaker 3: I know the game.
Speaker 2: We're going to cut it out of. This is going
Speaker 2: to be a very difficult episode to listen to. Good
Speaker 2: that will all just be.
Speaker 3: That's what I hope to bring to every podcast, an
Speaker 3: air of unlistenability.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you have a so this is actually this
Speaker 2: particular mission impossible might really hit home for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's done some water stuff before. I feel like,
Speaker 3: like two ago there was that one where there was
Speaker 3: the big again. Can you remember a single plot point? No?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not. And I have something sorry to tease the listener,
Speaker 3: I have something really salacious about that to mention to you.
Speaker 3: Off air. Oh, and it can't be on air, no
Speaker 3: about tom Cruise or the water or the about the
Speaker 3: whole world and the making of these films. Oh, something
Speaker 3: I learned from someone who made one of these films
Speaker 3: that I don't feel comfortable saying on air.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can't wait.
Speaker 3: And yet I do feel comfortable saying that. I don't
Speaker 3: feel comfortable saying on air on air? You know what
Speaker 3: I mean?
Speaker 2: Of course, I need to make some sort of reminder
Speaker 2: for me, So like, that's good, I'm gonna put this.
Speaker 3: I don't feel comfortable. I feel comfortable saying I don't
Speaker 3: feel comfortable saying it on air on air. That's one
Speaker 3: of those great do you know what I mean? Of
Speaker 3: course that's it's meaning us. It's just meaning this is
Speaker 3: a mission impossible moved one time. This is maybe the
Speaker 3: hardest I've ever made. Aaron Jackson laughed. I as a
Speaker 3: joke the show This Is Us was on, I said this,
Speaker 3: this is Us is Us and he thought that was
Speaker 3: the greatest thing.
Speaker 2: Wait, but let's see the thing that you don't feel
Speaker 2: comfortable saying, you don't feel comfortable talking.
Speaker 3: About it has to do with the writing of these films.
Speaker 3: But I do find them to be pretty wild. There
Speaker 3: was something that yeah, okay, like two or three moves. Yeah,
Speaker 3: there was that. There was like a nuclear reactor. Remember
Speaker 3: he had to like hold his breath for like three
Speaker 3: minutes to go and do something to it.
Speaker 2: And that wasn't the last one.
Speaker 3: Maybe it was in this one.
Speaker 2: There are flashbacks of water like was that which where
Speaker 2: in the timeline we're.
Speaker 3: In sort of like part two of part three of
Speaker 3: part one, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: The final reckoning.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the finally the end of the Russian
Speaker 3: nesting dolls in his films.
Speaker 2: Just as far as we know, he does have a
Speaker 2: little It's.
Speaker 3: Good to know, because God, think of all he's reckoned
Speaker 3: with he has reckoned. It must be a big load off,
Speaker 3: the final thing to reckon. I think he's got.
Speaker 2: I have to imagine he's gonna have a craving for
Speaker 2: reckoning in the future.
Speaker 3: I don't think he can stay away. He'll have a
Speaker 3: different proper noun, but I have a feeling he'll still
Speaker 3: be reckoning. The guy won't have the guy won't be Ethan,
Speaker 3: but he'll be reckoning with things. I think he's still
Speaker 3: in that movie where he goes to space. I love that.
Speaker 3: Which when does he go to space? A few years
Speaker 3: ago they announced that he's going to make a movie.
Speaker 3: That's right, he actually goes to space. Katy Perry's style,
Speaker 3: Katie Gail King style. Yes, it's actually a buy a
Speaker 3: pick on Gail King. Tom's playing Gail King. Soaring High
Speaker 3: the Gail King story. Tom is suiting up to play
Speaker 3: Gail King. I can't wait for that.
Speaker 2: I think we're all kind of just uh, just very nervous,
Speaker 2: very nervous for Tom. But he was He's literally going
Speaker 2: to space.
Speaker 3: Hmm. For what purpose does the whole crew go to space?
Speaker 3: Keep wanting to go? Why is he doing all this stuff?
Speaker 3: You have the answer for our delight. He's going to
Speaker 3: take a whole film crew to our delight. Maybe he's
Speaker 3: gonna fill himself. I don't know. I wish I were
Speaker 3: a producer on this film and I had these answers
Speaker 3: for you, Bridger. Nothing would make me happier than to
Speaker 3: have every answer, because it would mean I'm a producer
Speaker 3: on the film. The fact that you remembered it's pretty
Speaker 3: I should be trying to I'm buying for co producer.
Speaker 3: You want to be shot into space? With him. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't have an inclination to go to space, but
Speaker 3: I would if Tom asked, would you? Yeah? Are you kidding?
Speaker 2: I wonder if I would?
Speaker 3: You think you wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I think I would really have to do some soul searching.
Speaker 2: I would have to. I probably would.
Speaker 3: You'd have to offer it up in prayer. You'd have
Speaker 3: to offer it up in prayer.
Speaker 2: Of course, I'd say quiet prayer and then go to
Speaker 2: space with Tom. I probably would go. Yeah, even if
Speaker 2: I died, who cares to have gone?
Speaker 3: What a way to go? And to be on camera
Speaker 3: dying with Tom Cruise. You think of the residuals your
Speaker 3: family would receive. Your family would be set for love
Speaker 3: and Tom.
Speaker 2: His box office cachet is a little I think it's fading,
Speaker 2: is it?
Speaker 3: But what didn't they feel that top on Mavericks sort
Speaker 3: of like brought back movies? I brought back the possible
Speaker 3: kind of sent movies to their I understood, understood, and don't.
Speaker 3: I don't know how this one's well, maybe I don't
Speaker 3: want to produce after all, here I thought i'd be rich.
Speaker 2: I believe this one's being beaten by Leelo and Stitch,
Speaker 2: So maybe Lelo and Stitch has brought them?
Speaker 3: Do they do their own stunts?
Speaker 2: As far as I know, Stitch, which one's wait? Lelo
Speaker 2: and Stitch is one of Is Leelo one of the humans?
Speaker 3: I'm realizing I've never seen Leelo and Stitch, not even
Speaker 3: the old animated in my mind. And I understand, and
Speaker 3: I'm giving myself the space to be wrong. Is human? Right?
Speaker 3: Stitch is a creature from outer space? Question mark?
Speaker 2: That makes sense. But just until this moment, I thought
Speaker 2: Leelo I. For whatever reason, I was under the impression
Speaker 2: there were two outer space creatures. But of course it's
Speaker 2: just the blue one.
Speaker 3: It might be a little two peas in a pod. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know you sort of want the odd couple of
Speaker 3: it all, don't you? Right?
Speaker 2: You want the little You always want a small human
Speaker 2: girl with an alien.
Speaker 3: Always you want this. I'm surprised one of us isn't
Speaker 3: a small human girl, and I'm even more surprised one
Speaker 3: of us isn't an alien. You know, how will this play?
Speaker 3: I will two of us talking? Nobody cares, None of
Speaker 3: you care.
Speaker 2: No, it's not there's sparks. What this is missing is
Speaker 2: Tom Cruise welcoming you to the movies like he did
Speaker 2: last night. The audience gasped, did you do that in
Speaker 2: the last movie? Where it's like he's done it every
Speaker 2: video where he's like, welcome to the movies.
Speaker 3: I think he's done it in all of them. Now
Speaker 3: it's so important that you're here at the movies. I
Speaker 3: was talking about this with people the other day. It
Speaker 3: would have been incredible if in this one he didn't
Speaker 3: do it. Some old man comes out, I want to
Speaker 3: walk up movie, pulls off the masks. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: like in the film, and then and then the set
Speaker 3: breaks away and he's hanging on a helicopter and then
Speaker 3: the movie starts there. It's in the world of the
Speaker 3: move on the movie. Curtain up, light the lights, you
Speaker 3: know how movies start.
Speaker 2: For that to be Ethan could be doing some Hollywood
Speaker 2: high jinks within the movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why didn't they see this?
Speaker 2: Is you pitching yourself as a future producer for Think of.
Speaker 3: Me for space, think of me for the Gael King story.
Speaker 3: Is all I'll say, Hollywood, Now that I'm here in LA.
Speaker 3: You know, in New York nobody takes seriously as a producer.
Speaker 3: Now that I'm here in.
Speaker 2: LA, you're making moves. You're in a very la T shirt.
Speaker 3: Thank you. This the Clark Street. Yeah, the one on
Speaker 3: one diner. One time I saw Fred Durst there about
Speaker 3: fifteen years ago. One was that awesome? What was he
Speaker 3: doing eating? Noting the breakfast of course? Why eating breakfast?
Speaker 3: Of course? Well, having a delicious meal in the seventies abbiance.
Speaker 3: It's the one on one now Clark Street.
Speaker 2: I love the Clark Street.
Speaker 3: Oh. I love the Clark Street Diner. I can go
Speaker 3: there today, make a reservation. Josh sharptdaw dot com book
Speaker 3: a table with Fred Durst at the Clark Street Diner.
Speaker 3: I love the Clerk Street done. I'm glad you clocked this.
Speaker 3: Some people don't know it's merch. Some people just think
Speaker 3: it's a shirt with breakfast.
Speaker 2: It's a good shirt, and I'm there probably twice a week.
Speaker 3: I love that place. My friends used to live around
Speaker 3: the corner and I would go there all the time
Speaker 3: when it was the one I won. It's such a
Speaker 3: good diner. I find this shirt is well received by
Speaker 3: the community, but that like every time I wear it,
Speaker 3: someone comes up and they go, I love breakfast. People
Speaker 3: often just think it's about breakfast, and I have a
Speaker 3: bold statement, but I celebrate that. Of course, there's a
Speaker 3: lot to love. And it's a good looking breakfast. That's
Speaker 3: the diner breakfast. Do you know I have one note
Speaker 3: on this breakfast? What can you guess what it is?
Speaker 2: That it shouldn't be twenty two dollars?
Speaker 3: Well, sweetie, oh god, clip it. Get into a war
Speaker 3: with them? Am I doing this right? You know? I
Speaker 3: don't have a podcast, but I'm aware of your culture.
Speaker 3: Clip it. We just say clip it. Well, we will
Speaker 3: with it whenever you want. It doesn't no matter what
Speaker 3: you said previously. My my biggest note is that breakfast, brunch,
Speaker 3: diner culture. It's about beverages. Okay, I need double the
Speaker 3: beverages here. This has already got two drinks. Coffee have
Speaker 3: probably forty dollars orange. I want a big glass of
Speaker 3: water and then I probably want like a boozy drink too,
Speaker 3: like if this is if this is brunch, I want
Speaker 3: fresh squeeze orange juice. I want bad coffee, some of
Speaker 3: the worst coffee. Well, then this is a bad place
Speaker 3: for you to be. They have good coffine. They actually
Speaker 3: do have good coffee. I want water and I want
Speaker 3: a bloody mary.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: That is to me the joy of brunch is so
Speaker 3: many A sip of everything.
Speaker 2: Even the water.
Speaker 3: Yes, oh, I want I'm drinking water all all the time.
Speaker 3: Not for me, I'm not drinking breakfast with the stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm one of those people who like the taste of water.
Speaker 3: Is that true? Yes?
Speaker 2: I think I don't mind the taste of water. But
Speaker 2: I'm gonna taste this.
Speaker 3: Wait, do it am a ms R A ms R style?
Speaker 3: That's not right, but I'm sticking to it a M
Speaker 3: s R A I think ams R. You know it's
Speaker 3: a SMR. It's a sm you can always remember because
Speaker 3: it's related to SMM. That's the nomonic. Y Okay, now
Speaker 3: me just choking. That's well, no, wonder you just don't
Speaker 3: know how to drink it. Sorry, it's good, right, I
Speaker 3: fucking love water. Water rules.
Speaker 2: People say they don't like the taste, what are we
Speaker 2: talking about?
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: I mean they're clearly drinking dirty water because it's such
Speaker 2: a pure thing.
Speaker 3: Like Yeah, and I don't like to participate in the
Speaker 3: New York versus LA if at all. I like I
Speaker 3: like both. I promise you we do have you beat
Speaker 3: on water. See this is something I don't believe you
Speaker 3: you've tasted both, though I've had both. Maybe dynamite.
Speaker 2: I might have kind of a dull taste bud for water,
Speaker 2: because I think I can drink about any water. I
Speaker 2: think that tastes about the same.
Speaker 3: Sure ours really banks and yours has some issues. Would
Speaker 3: you're not fully at the beach where you're like, oh god,
Speaker 3: you know, but this is it's not right.
Speaker 2: I would like someone to bring me a bottle of
Speaker 2: New York water and pour it into I would like
Speaker 2: to do it myself.
Speaker 3: Sorry to pull back the curtain. I wish that was
Speaker 3: my gift, and not even like aquafina, just like a
Speaker 3: fucking from my tower. That would have been so good.
Speaker 3: And I kept it in the fridge. It was just
Speaker 3: like I've somehow got it on the plane. I checked
Speaker 3: so dry ice I shipped it.
Speaker 2: I guess that's the hard thing about getting water here.
Speaker 2: You would have to check a bag of water.
Speaker 3: I could have gifted you three ounces of water so easy,
Speaker 3: I could liters of water, and that would have been
Speaker 3: such an incredible gift. I mean, that's enough to.
Speaker 2: That's all you truly need to get the taste.
Speaker 3: It's a tasting menu. Yeah, it's a flight a flat water.
Speaker 3: I could have brought you a flight of waters from
Speaker 3: all over the country, all over the globe, even from
Speaker 3: outer space. With Tom we could have gone to the
Speaker 3: moon and fetched that water that's there.
Speaker 2: New York does famously have good tap water. I wonder
Speaker 2: if there's a place that has better tap water than
Speaker 2: New York. There must be outside of the country.
Speaker 3: I think it's one of the best metropolitan top parties
Speaker 3: because we get it from some upstate reservoir that's like
Speaker 3: known for good. You know. I feel like if you're you.
Speaker 2: Know, where's l A's coming from?
Speaker 3: Well, exactly interesting, y'all don't have enough to water your lawns,
Speaker 3: So yeah, where is it coming from? Probably Utah? Your
Speaker 3: Mormon wives, they're probably sending you ther water open.
Speaker 2: This is the subject that my dad will bring up
Speaker 2: on occasion. You're taking all of our water?
Speaker 3: Where does your father live Utah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe it, But Utah is also a desert,
Speaker 2: so I don't quite believe that either, right, But that
Speaker 2: water is already coming from I don't know.
Speaker 3: The people of Utah have faith. They have faith in
Speaker 3: the way that we don't, so that they're making water
Speaker 3: in the water, they're finding water in the desert if
Speaker 3: anyone is. It's a faith based people, these godless heathens.
Speaker 3: You live in a desert and it's staying a desert.
Speaker 3: You have no faith. Utah is a desert, but you
Speaker 3: have faith. So the water take a step and the
Speaker 3: you know, when there's one step of footprints, you know
Speaker 3: who's carrying you. When you're in a desert. Throw a bag,
Speaker 3: a big bag of water. When there's only one set
Speaker 3: of stopping footprints, you know who it is. Jesus fresh
Speaker 3: out the bath, bubbles in his hair, bubbles in his hair,
Speaker 3: bubble bath. Yeah, and a big sort of fun like
Speaker 3: Santa Beard, like when you're when you're three years old
Speaker 3: and you're making the big bubble beard over his regular beard. Absolutely,
Speaker 3: he thinks that's he gets the meta joke of that
Speaker 3: one beard, one of the famous alt comics. Jesus. He's
Speaker 3: a little off kilter. He's oh slightly on, always off,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I think it was CBS
Speaker 3: or CBS was characters welcome, Yes, Oh, characters welcome. That's Jesus'
Speaker 3: you meet them twelve And that hooker he's got twelve.
Speaker 3: He's got twelve in that hooker following him around Jesus
Speaker 3: was such characters welcome, the Twelve in the Hooker, Jesus
Speaker 3: was so characters welcome. He really was. He loved of
Speaker 3: all types. He loved all types. One of his things, Yes,
Speaker 3: one of his big things was Luke John. That's the others,
Speaker 3: those other jos. I mean, we're talking. You want to
Speaker 3: talk characters. Judas is one of the more famous of
Speaker 3: the guys, isn't he full care? The ones who wrote books,
Speaker 3: Matthew Mark, Luke John, you know, they they got their
Speaker 3: sort of titular story. Peter Peter, of course, well the
Speaker 3: doubter Tom. What did Peter do?
Speaker 2: Peter kind of just floated around, just made sure he
Speaker 2: was feeling okay, he may need a snack, Yes, exactly, Thomas, God.
Speaker 3: How many can we get? Because you were raised Mormon
Speaker 3: or maybe still are raised, and you don't want to
Speaker 3: get back, I just you're refusing that one. You're refusing
Speaker 3: to go on the record with that one. I'm well
Speaker 3: on the record. No, I've listened to every episode. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was raised Presbyterian. We have we have different guys,
Speaker 3: I guess different guides. Do the Mormons believe in the
Speaker 3: twelve Guys? Oh? Yeah, the twelve guys. I'm absolutely so. Peter, Peter, James, Wait, Matthew, Mark, Luke,
Speaker 3: John Matthew, Mark, Peter James, Peter James, Dunton, Thomas, Thomas,
Speaker 3: Thomas with all them damned doubts, Judas, Judas of course,
Speaker 3: the bad boy of the group. Yeah, the classic fat boy.
Speaker 3: And we're missing four. Uh, don't you feel like we'll
Speaker 3: get there.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of Italian Catholics in my life.
Speaker 2: You should get these names?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah? Uh, Michael, you want to believe there's
Speaker 3: a Michael. Let's let's not look this up, but let's
Speaker 3: call it a Michael. It's also I want to give
Speaker 3: us some old Testament names like Esyl, but I know.
Speaker 2: Those they're real like guy guy names.
Speaker 3: They're they're basically like Kyle's and Martin Ye, Matthews, honestly
Speaker 3: a lot of the like gay guy names. Brendan, Brendan. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 3: we're missing three because Michael. David must be there. I
Speaker 3: mean not the one who thought Goliath, of course.
Speaker 2: But isn't David. It's Mary and David are the parents
Speaker 2: Mary and Joseph?
Speaker 3: But was there? Christian? Was there? Joseph and the guys.
Speaker 2: Maybe Okay, No, there's no Joseph. That would have gotten
Speaker 2: weird for the whole situation.
Speaker 3: Let's say there's a David. Let's say there's a Dave.
Speaker 3: That's the tenth is Dave. Two people, we're still too short.
Speaker 2: Tyson Tyson, Tyson and Lance and Lance. Uh wow, I
Speaker 2: really shocked that I can't. Some of these guys were duds,
Speaker 2: most of them, honestly, like probably eight of these men
Speaker 2: were full duds.
Speaker 3: Sorry to go, Hollywood producer again, you come in. I
Speaker 3: got this story. It's me, this hooker in twelve guys go,
Speaker 3: I could cut eight of the guys for story. I'm like,
Speaker 3: keep the main guy for sure, he's he's our guy,
Speaker 3: Like we're sending this one to space, he's the campaign
Speaker 3: is Jesus of course, keep the hooker. And then I'm like,
Speaker 3: I think maybe eight of those guys could go for story.
Speaker 3: No budget and budget my god, yeah, maybe be full Blumhouse.
Speaker 3: But I'm cutting speaking parts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe these are background are.
Speaker 3: Background guys for certain, The Four Apostles eight background on Hooker,
Speaker 3: The Four Apostles eight background and hooker. Now that sells,
Speaker 3: that's selling away the Bible hasn't as we know the
Speaker 3: Bible very poor sales or sales poor sales. One of
Speaker 3: the worst selling books of all time. Absolutely one of
Speaker 3: the absolute bombs. Those residuals must be nice.
Speaker 2: That one's the original bomb, the bomb Turkey. It was
Speaker 2: a turkey. It was a box office turkey.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know how we possibly got to the
Speaker 3: four Apostles eight I do and again, when the listener
Speaker 3: is listening to this as intended Memento style, front than back,
Speaker 3: front than back, meat in the middle, it will all
Speaker 3: make sense. Do you need to promo right now? Absolutely?
Speaker 3: Starting July seventh, from Josh Sharp and the director of O,
Speaker 3: Mary sam Pinggleton comes Josh Sharp Toda a one man
Speaker 3: solo experience in the off Broadway kind of way. God,
Speaker 3: imagine the sexy West Village evening. You'll have a cosmo
Speaker 3: before a cosmo after. Carry the rest of the girls again,
Speaker 3: imagine if there were twelve sex in the City girls.
Speaker 3: You're like, you only need four.
Speaker 2: There's no chance, are you kidding? And it's like you're
Speaker 2: not taking a quiz where you're trying to figure out
Speaker 2: which of twelve characters you.
Speaker 3: Never could Yeah, you're right. The human mind doesn't need
Speaker 3: all twin, especially when you already got a hooker in
Speaker 3: a lead. That's two. You really only needed two guys two,
Speaker 3: you think, I mean, if we want the sort of
Speaker 3: like cast of four, Yeah, that's true. Yeah, what are
Speaker 3: you the Christ figure, the hooker, the doubting one, or
Speaker 3: the bad guy? It's really Thomas Judas. Then there's no friend.
Speaker 3: He's at least one friend. You're right, you've got to
Speaker 3: have one. The hooker's a friend, but not in that way.
Speaker 2: Not in that one. So I imagine that would be Matthew.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so you really only need Jesus married matt
Speaker 3: and Judas. I think. Wow.
Speaker 2: So now you're saying no doubter.
Speaker 3: Or do you think it's more dynamic to sort of
Speaker 3: not have a full villain in the breaking bad way,
Speaker 3: like you know, you know you don't want him just
Speaker 3: be bad. Yeah, you need some gray area. He's the
Speaker 3: great ar because Judas is kind of a gray character.
Speaker 3: I guess you're right. He did it for you know,
Speaker 3: he needed that bag of gold. He was conflicted, and
Speaker 3: he also was part of the plan. And also you
Speaker 3: feel for Judas because he knew, you know, there's no
Speaker 3: small parts only small actors. He knew. He was like,
Speaker 3: I have to do this. I'm predestined. That's the thing.
Speaker 3: He's a patsy. He's a patsy.
Speaker 2: He really it's like this poor guy, like if he
Speaker 2: hadn't done it, the plan would have fallen apart. It
Speaker 2: was a heist ultimately, and that was his big part.
Speaker 2: And everyone's so mad at him.
Speaker 3: Oh God, everyone's so mad. He knew he was the heel. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he was the heel. He knew, like, I'm the heel.
Speaker 3: Someone's got to do it.
Speaker 2: But he hopefully there was some like behind the scenes
Speaker 2: contract work where it's like, yeah, everyone's gonna hate you,
Speaker 2: but there'll be money under the table.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're gonna be happy with how this plays. Happened absolutely.
Speaker 3: I wonder if he was.
Speaker 2: Did he go to Hell?
Speaker 3: I guess to what happens to him after that? He
Speaker 3: asked for forgiveness for it? Doesn't he I would hope. So.
Speaker 3: If so, then he's going to heaven by the rules
Speaker 3: I understood, But it seems like he's so got. I
Speaker 3: was really in it. I was doing that thing. Because
Speaker 3: did you have the Left Behind series?
Speaker 2: Was that a weirdly and kind of thank God Mormons
Speaker 2: don't get into the left.
Speaker 3: Because I was so worried the rapture could happen any moment.
Speaker 3: I just found myself sort of like quickly playing praying
Speaker 3: for forgiveness like all the time. Okay, so it could
Speaker 3: happen in the flash of but really I was just
Speaker 3: like every minute, I forgive me for my sense. She's like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm good.
Speaker 2: Imagine if it had happened in between those prayers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, shame, or or if in praying I sort of
Speaker 3: send if I was like, please God, forgive me for
Speaker 3: my fucking sins, if like if that you know, toxological stressed. Yeah,
Speaker 3: there should be like an iPhone alert. There should just
Speaker 3: give me, you know, like an earthquake or a fire
Speaker 3: or you get a few seconds you like sort it
Speaker 3: all out. I don't think that it's fair that it's
Speaker 3: more of a prank that it just happens the rapture.
Speaker 2: I think you should have a little leeway, a little like, hey,
Speaker 2: you've got ten minutes.
Speaker 3: Right, I mean, like a fucking tsunami comes and they
Speaker 3: can sound a siren. Yeah you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: You tell me the rapture. You can't at least get
Speaker 3: sort of a quick heads up, like the clouds should
Speaker 3: gather absolute into this guy that you see the clouds
Speaker 3: like flying through the air too quickly. There should be
Speaker 3: a last call, you know what I mean? Rapture come
Speaker 3: in last call and he'll want to pray for or
Speaker 3: how many of you are full? Like, no, I love
Speaker 3: to ride motorcycles and smoke cigarettes and I'll never give
Speaker 3: that up. Get me to hell, d post rapture.
Speaker 2: Seconds after you're just standing there in your shoes, smoking
Speaker 2: a bunch of empty shoes around you. What a feeling.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, you feel like the ultimate bad boy. You would
Speaker 3: be having so much fun. You'd be like, finally, my people,
Speaker 3: now that all these fucking squares are gone, let the
Speaker 3: listener know, but the viewer will see. I had gorgeous
Speaker 3: clip ons. I had to take them off for these
Speaker 3: I had to take them off for these goddamn headphones,
Speaker 3: which will never understand why we have to wear them.
Speaker 3: But then I realized, yeah, no, I can hear me
Speaker 3: in a very quiet room. Also, I hear myself all
Speaker 3: day long through these damn ears. What do you think
Speaker 3: these damn ears are? Four?
Speaker 2: I have an answer on why we have to wear
Speaker 2: the headphones.
Speaker 3: For one moment. Let's see what it's like. What's it
Speaker 3: like to do it this way? Feels so good?
Speaker 2: My ears aren't hot. Yeah, and I feel honest for
Speaker 2: the first time on this podcast.
Speaker 3: Guess the idea of this is it sort of puts
Speaker 3: you in producer mindset too. What are they gonna hear? Yeah?
Speaker 3: That's true. Now, how do you feel that the right
Speaker 3: way to think?
Speaker 2: How do you feel asymmetrical? Put them back on? I'm
Speaker 2: not wearing them? Yeah, how does that feel? I'm do
Speaker 2: you feel like this is an imbalance? Do you feel
Speaker 2: like you know?
Speaker 3: Because I'm so in my own experience? Okay, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean.
Speaker 2: You're so purely there.
Speaker 3: I'm so purely in this. Okay, But what I was
Speaker 3: gonna Yeah, what was the deal? I realized the whole
Speaker 3: of clip ons. Yes, they don't say by law, worry
Speaker 3: they need to be clipped on. Interesting never port k
Speaker 3: port k no los manos? You know, like, why not? Right? Could?
Speaker 3: I absolutely? Do you know? Actually, this is my favorite
Speaker 3: thing about clip ones. I don't have my ears pears.
Speaker 3: I have a ton of clip ones and the reason
Speaker 3: why is I love that they're social that often. Yeah,
Speaker 3: totally This is actually how it goes when I'm out
Speaker 3: in the real world.
Speaker 2: Josh is putting them on.
Speaker 3: I don't even ask to try them on, just be
Speaker 3: coming up to be like, oh, I love your earrings
Speaker 3: because this happens all the time, and this is what
Speaker 3: I do. I'm not even putting them on. Well, and
Speaker 3: that's fine, that's okay. They are there. Imagine they're unwell,
Speaker 3: Oh I love those ear rings. Give them a spin,
Speaker 3: trym on. You have them, are you sure? Yes? Absolutely,
Speaker 3: find me later, you know, truly, I'll meet people out
Speaker 3: and be like, find me in a half hour, and
Speaker 3: then you get to sort of live the fantasy for
Speaker 3: a while. Oh, they look great on you. Let's see here.
Speaker 3: It's hard to find your ear lobe when you don't
Speaker 3: do it that often. I know. Even when you do,
Speaker 3: it's hard because.
Speaker 2: They're all a little different lobe is it on?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you look great.
Speaker 2: I want to get my eyes on this. I'm going
Speaker 2: to turn on my camera here.
Speaker 3: See, you can't do this with real earrings. You know.
Speaker 3: You can't say, like, take a spin, find me, you know,
Speaker 3: I'll get someone. It's also why I never I always
Speaker 3: spend single digits on them undertil how much were these
Speaker 3: I get them at their shops. These were definitely less
Speaker 3: than ten okay, because I know I give them to
Speaker 3: the world and they don't always come back to me.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, do you know what I mean? Kind of
Speaker 3: a Johnny Appleseed? Absolutely in many ways, and I'm glad
Speaker 3: we're getting into this, but no, in many ways creating orchards.
Speaker 3: These belong to the I find these belong to the universe,
Speaker 3: and I'm just happen to have them at this moment.
Speaker 2: Do you remember where we got these? Are these la clips?
Speaker 3: I have so many. Anytime I'm at any like thrift
Speaker 3: or vintage shop, I'm looking for clip on.
Speaker 2: When you say thrift or vintage with particularly for ear rings,
Speaker 2: are you saying like more of a curated thrift or vintagetore?
Speaker 2: Are you saying like a goodwill either?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 2: So either this is where I would draw a line.
Speaker 3: Either. I've got some of the greatest ones that just
Speaker 3: like Goodwill's.
Speaker 2: See so for in a goodwill there are a few
Speaker 2: things I wouldn't buy.
Speaker 3: Sure, and it's the fresh Deelli meat. They should get
Speaker 3: a deli counter in the head. What's holding it back?
Speaker 3: They got everything else?
Speaker 2: Start carving up some turkey fresh deli meat, dairy.
Speaker 3: Almond soy. You do that stuff for the goodwill, right,
Speaker 3: or just.
Speaker 2: Ye find that under a rack kind of rolling around.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I didn't expect to find this here.
Speaker 2: An ear ring, anything that I will, like, directly touch skin.
Speaker 2: I'm always a little nervous about.
Speaker 3: What even directly touch. That's a good anything I can't
Speaker 3: be put through a washer, Yeah, okay washing, don't you
Speaker 3: feel like you could? Actually I found a pair of
Speaker 3: sunglasses on a subway the other day and put them on,
Speaker 3: and my boyfriend was so he was like, do you
Speaker 3: know And I was like, no, what are you talking about.
Speaker 3: He's like, they touch your eyes. I was like, they
Speaker 3: literally don't touch my eyes, dude, they too. He was right,
Speaker 3: but any but but then he but then he took
Speaker 3: a Clorox wipe and he did it. Right.
Speaker 2: You could do that with right, Yeah, okay, that's a
Speaker 2: good idea.
Speaker 3: The other thing I like about clip ons is they
Speaker 3: have a look you can't get from pierced ear rings.
Speaker 3: Like clip clip ons inevitably look like your grandma removed
Speaker 3: them to answer the phone in the eighties, Like there's
Speaker 3: a chunkiness that exists there, and you can really find
Speaker 3: those that the Goodwill or the Housing Works Housing Works
Speaker 3: in New York. Great clipons.
Speaker 2: My grandma never got her earspere. She only wore clip
Speaker 2: on earrings.
Speaker 3: And does she have big low hangers?
Speaker 2: No, she had big she had ones like this, the
Speaker 2: big buttony toe, I mean her lobes. Oh interesting, did.
Speaker 3: You have big low hangers? I don't remember, you know something,
Speaker 3: grandma's get them low hangers and not. And if you
Speaker 3: clip this out of context, so you think I'm talking
Speaker 3: about tits, my god, don't let it be known. I'm
Speaker 3: talking about lobes on these women, not tits. But did
Speaker 3: your grandma have them low hangers? Does she have them
Speaker 3: low hangers? Your grandma? And I'm you know what I'm
Speaker 3: talking about. If you if you twist my words to
Speaker 3: make it seem like I'm a pervert when I'm so not.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about your grandma's low hanging, luscious ear lobes.
Speaker 3: I'm not a pervert. I'm a normal guy. I'm just
Speaker 3: a fucking normal guy who wants to know what your
Speaker 3: grandma's low hanging ears. The answer is yes, yes, hoping
Speaker 3: that'd be the case.
Speaker 2: I think there's something else we need to talk about
Speaker 2: anything as much as i'd i'd like to stay on
Speaker 2: this exact topic, let.
Speaker 3: On one topic the whole time. We've been so cogent.
Speaker 2: That's the podcast we you know, we start with a
Speaker 2: topic and I say, we're going to dive deep into
Speaker 2: this focus focus.
Speaker 3: No, We've got to you to stay focused. You said
Speaker 3: to me, we are.
Speaker 2: Going to flesh out this one thing as we what
Speaker 2: we've been doing. But we have to. There's one other
Speaker 2: thing I'd like to talk to you about. I would
Speaker 2: love I was really excited to have you here today
Speaker 2: to plug your show over and over and over and
Speaker 2: if you'd like to do it.
Speaker 3: Now Josh Sharp Today. Tickets available now at josharp today
Speaker 3: dot com. July sum went through August twenty third, seven
Speaker 3: nights week. Uh.
Speaker 2: I was excited to have you here doing that. So
Speaker 2: I was a little surprised the podcast is called, I said,
Speaker 2: no gifts. I know, and I have to imagine you
Speaker 2: are a dedicated listener. I am riding in and begging
Speaker 2: to be on the show. So it's shocked when you.
Speaker 3: Walked in the mail to handwritten long form cursive all
Speaker 3: capsursive cursive pages. Yes, screaming incursive. I know, and yet
Speaker 3: I just felt it would be rude to not bring
Speaker 3: you this gift. I put so much thought into the
Speaker 3: wrap the guest. Yes, it looks like you went to Nordstrom,
Speaker 3: and I don't want to give away.
Speaker 2: We know it's not water Unfortunately, Should I open it
Speaker 2: here on the podcast? The bag is falling apart, it's
Speaker 2: so soggy.
Speaker 3: How do you do the one that sounds like that's
Speaker 3: for the listener at home? Oh my god, my bag
Speaker 3: is dripping. Go ahead, do folly. Oh my bag's dripping everywhere.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, to the listener, my bag is dripping everywhere.
Speaker 2: Great fully, You've got to do everything in this business, now,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: You really do. You got to diversify, all right?
Speaker 2: Okay, should open here on the podcast?
Speaker 3: I feel you might as well well. Actually, would you
Speaker 3: rather open it off air? I'm fine with that. I'm
Speaker 3: just throwing it away right now. I don't need to
Speaker 3: know what's in here now. This is a gift that
Speaker 3: I thought a lot about. I've definitely seen what's inside
Speaker 3: of there. Okay, there's no world in which I remembered
Speaker 3: this morning that I left the gift in New York
Speaker 3: and I got this from the house of the person
Speaker 3: I'm staying with. There's absolutely no world in which that's true.
Speaker 3: And I can't wait to look at this thing that
Speaker 3: I definitely have a deep familiarity with.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're pulling it out. It's in a white bag
Speaker 2: from what is this brand?
Speaker 3: Oh well, we all know this brand Glory warr Sorry,
Speaker 3: but don't let that maybe the twelfth Apostle, that's the
Speaker 3: one we were missing worry to make a bigger splash.
Speaker 3: I forget what was his personality trait? He was stressing up?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was going out. He was the fashion
Speaker 3: forward one. He was the nightlife apostle. He was the
Speaker 3: culture correspondent to me. He was the one in the
Speaker 3: morning being like, could y'all keep it down? Like, oh
Speaker 3: my fucking god. Okay, I'm reaching in pulling out kind
Speaker 3: of a silky oh what oh you know? And I know,
Speaker 3: oh well, it came from Worri of course, a brand
Speaker 3: I'm so familiar with. Several T shirts. And again, there's
Speaker 3: no world in which these are T shirts that the
Speaker 3: person I'm staying with was dying to give away. And
Speaker 3: when I said, could I give them as a gift.
Speaker 3: On this podcast, he said, when you could when you
Speaker 3: see the burden be lifted where he was like, I
Speaker 3: was here for months. I've been like, you have to
Speaker 3: drive and donate these somewhere or give them away. Where
Speaker 3: did he get these? I guess, but he didn't. And
Speaker 3: they're exactly your size? Of course, yeah, these are form
Speaker 3: fitting that they're exactly your size. Remind me what size
Speaker 3: they are. These are an exn and that's you, and
Speaker 3: that's you, and that's so you. And again there's no
Speaker 3: world in which when I said to my friend, oh fuck,
Speaker 3: I forgot the gift I was supposed to bring him.
Speaker 3: Do you have anything you wouldn't mind me giving? And
Speaker 3: when I say, a weight was lifted when he went,
Speaker 3: I've been trying to get rid of these shirts. If
Speaker 3: you could give these to him, it would be so
Speaker 3: I kind of taken back to return them, and they
Speaker 3: wouldn't return them, and so then I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I have to donate them somewhere. But I've just been like,
Speaker 3: I can't you know.
Speaker 2: Did he not try them on in store? What's wrong
Speaker 2: with this person?
Speaker 3: I actually do think they were a gift from his mother. Okay,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, and I won't name him in case his
Speaker 3: mother's a listener. Okay, I like their gorgeous shirts. Now
Speaker 3: the thing is, you want to try one on? Now?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 3: I think I should think you should.
Speaker 2: So the thing is I've been complaining a lot recently
Speaker 2: about how guests never bring me clothes because on our
Speaker 2: live shows there's only one real, like stage worthy outfit
Speaker 2: I've been given, and I've run it into the ground.
Speaker 2: And I wonder if this is the next move.
Speaker 3: I think we should try one on.
Speaker 2: I would have to wear them pantsless on stage, sure,
Speaker 2: as more of a dress.
Speaker 3: And there's also a world in which you layer them,
Speaker 3: maybe one over the other or one on each leg
Speaker 3: as sort of pants, while this just put it on
Speaker 3: over your over your share if you don't mind. This
Speaker 3: is almost like a tunic, Yeah, which I got you
Speaker 3: of war tunic, darling, darling, put on your war color preference.
Speaker 3: Let's start with the one in your hands. I think
Speaker 3: you reached for something, right WHOA did you hear my
Speaker 3: stomach grow? No? I wish it would do it again
Speaker 3: on this That would be a cool eight s and
Speaker 3: M S S S S M M m R. Sorry,
Speaker 3: you're gonna have to pay Rihanna. Now, wow, it looks
Speaker 3: so good. Please clap, please clap. Do you feel like
Speaker 3: that's too small? It color? This is?
Speaker 2: This feels im modest, a little modest.
Speaker 3: I think it looks great on you. Do you think
Speaker 3: I could wear this on stage without pants? Would that
Speaker 3: be too small? I think you could wear it without pants.
Speaker 3: It'd be sort of slutty. You'd be a little bit
Speaker 3: of the hooker, you know. I'm you wouldn't be serving Matthew,
Speaker 3: you and be serving Thomas, you'd be serving that hooker.
Speaker 3: Which of the girls are you? You're Samantha, You're the
Speaker 3: hooker hooker. This fits perfectly. I think if it's great,
Speaker 3: and I think you could wear it without a pant,
Speaker 3: and you could either do you could either be full
Speaker 3: whoorror and sort of like have a thong and you're
Speaker 3: getting the little peak of underboob, or you could do
Speaker 3: sort of like an athletic underwear kind of sort like
Speaker 3: mid thighs exactly like a Lula Lemons sort of. That
Speaker 3: actually would be a great mom, sporty mom. And I
Speaker 3: find what's really in fashion now is like proportion, where
Speaker 3: it's like because everybody thinks it's just like all the
Speaker 3: kids are wearing baggy shit. But it's really fun if
Speaker 3: you sort of have one one bag yelement and then
Speaker 3: one sort of not bag yelement. I think that right.
Speaker 2: No, this is and it's kind of a nice aqua
Speaker 2: navy color.
Speaker 3: This is why don't you put one on? I would
Speaker 3: love Does this color speak to you? Because they're both
Speaker 3: sort of blue, and both of us in blue, And
Speaker 3: thank god earlier we'd already sort of gotten ourselves used
Speaker 3: to the no headphones. You know, I see why we
Speaker 3: did that.
Speaker 2: Now you're ins.
Speaker 3: Because you can't or should I try to put it on?
Speaker 3: With this song? You might as well? This is so comedy.
Speaker 3: This is so comedy, he says to all three, to
Speaker 3: the three camera set up, to the multi cam setup
Speaker 3: you have here.
Speaker 2: You're getting so now it doesn't fit you as well
Speaker 2: as me.
Speaker 3: No, this is more size. Yeah, swallows me up.
Speaker 2: Look, come on, you're you're not showing off anything in
Speaker 2: this thing. Well, it went over your headphones better than
Speaker 2: I expected to be.
Speaker 3: I actually thought it would. Yeah, but no, it actually
Speaker 3: sort of works, and it keeps this wire on me
Speaker 3: at all times, so you can't get away. Yeah, now
Speaker 3: I know where she's at maybe that sort of part
Speaker 3: of the style.
Speaker 2: Is oh that's a nice a little.
Speaker 3: Okay, well that's really good, And what do we do
Speaker 3: with the last one? On? Elise? Would you like to
Speaker 3: try it on? Sure? Come on in here, come on
Speaker 3: in here on. We should all be in a top.
Speaker 2: We should all be.
Speaker 3: In our war war kind of new eth lead ath leisure.
Speaker 3: Look how long, by the way, the tag is so long?
Speaker 3: This is in sort of giving CBS received.
Speaker 2: This is really like a response to the tag liss
Speaker 2: t shirt absolutely saying.
Speaker 3: What if it was tagged what if it was tag full?
Speaker 3: They said tag less? More like tag full. And if
Speaker 3: you want to pair it with these no pressure, open invitation.
Speaker 2: We're all trying new looks over vests.
Speaker 3: Ovest vest over would be its own look. But this
Speaker 3: sort of feels more of the the runway.
Speaker 2: That we're okay on alease, it's got a top on
Speaker 2: we all.
Speaker 3: I mean, it works for almost any good and it
Speaker 3: just and the shape, the way it accentuates the shape
Speaker 3: of the vest. And don't forget you can put it
Speaker 3: on your fingers, you clip them on anything you want.
Speaker 3: But but I celebrate the years. That's one of the
Speaker 3: classic places, just getting the take clip.
Speaker 2: On on kind of a side ear.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh that's right.
Speaker 2: Getting into the cartilage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there we go. There we go. That looks good,
Speaker 3: that looks great. There we go. So this is this
Speaker 3: is why we do a video. We look incredible. We
Speaker 3: look incredible. Listener, we look we look immaculate the way
Speaker 3: the way you could conceive of this would be immaculately.
Speaker 3: It's it's an immaculate conception in a way, the way
Speaker 3: we look absolutely. But yeah, you can go the video.
Speaker 3: Just go to w Josh Shark today dot com and
Speaker 3: that's where you'll see our stuff is uick time QuickTime video.
Speaker 2: Okay, only just taking them or may take them permanently.
Speaker 2: We have no idea where they're going to end up. Wow,
Speaker 2: look how good we look.
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm so glad that the intention in
Speaker 3: Karen thought I put into this is reading because you're right,
Speaker 3: we do look good.
Speaker 2: This is for me kind of a not my mom,
Speaker 2: but a grandma shirt purchase, which is there was a
Speaker 2: long time when my grandma would buy me medium sized
Speaker 2: T shirts. I think in a kind of an attempt
Speaker 2: to say I think you're bigger than you.
Speaker 3: Are, because let's because we're let's call it as it is.
Speaker 3: You're a small I'm a small. Yeah, that's small.
Speaker 2: And I was born.
Speaker 3: There's no shame in that.
Speaker 2: There was no shame.
Speaker 3: But my grandma, I think, may have felt some shame.
Speaker 3: She felt she was embarrassed. She felt she could raise
Speaker 3: you as medium.
Speaker 2: Perhaps she didn't want to look a cashier in the
Speaker 2: eye and say I have a small grandson.
Speaker 3: Well, to be fair, she had them low hanging loves.
Speaker 3: This is a different grandma. Oh, you have to have
Speaker 3: more than one. How does that? How does the math
Speaker 3: work on that? God, I don't even know. Spoil a podcast.
Speaker 3: Swimming in Grandma drowning in the stuff, kind of a
Speaker 3: Tom cruise in under the ocean of grandma's. I've said
Speaker 3: that to you before so many times, and I'm glad
Speaker 3: it finally makes sense to everyone. I'm coming up from those
Speaker 3: grandma's and I'm getting the ransures. Oh God, yeah, how
Speaker 3: to describe. He's sort of like a Tom cruise swimming
Speaker 3: in an ocean of grandma. Do you know what I'm
Speaker 3: talking about? There's so many Grandmas.
Speaker 2: You're worried about him, Yep, you're worried of if he's
Speaker 2: going to make it out alive, and then he does
Speaker 2: every time, and he saves the movies. So we've got
Speaker 2: these shirts on and your friend, Wow, this is the
Speaker 2: sort of life I would love to live to just
Speaker 2: apparently not try the shirts on, just have them, take
Speaker 2: them home, and then not want them.
Speaker 3: I need to get more of the story on why
Speaker 3: he didn't want them. What I know is when I
Speaker 3: said do you have anything I could give away? Immediately
Speaker 3: he lit up like it truly was. He was like,
Speaker 3: this is so great for me. I've been trying to
Speaker 3: get rid of these and now you actually have a
Speaker 3: use for them. Ow. Unbelievable to think that this could
Speaker 3: become content. Really goes to show you anything can be
Speaker 3: content if.
Speaker 2: You think, just if you think hard enough, anything can
Speaker 2: be content.
Speaker 3: You know, I hate it should be. This is why
Speaker 3: Tom is struggling in the box office, because we've allowed
Speaker 3: anything to be content.
Speaker 2: Well, do you want to know there's a line in
Speaker 2: the movie that feels a little anti content. Tom says,
Speaker 2: do you want me to tell you what?
Speaker 3: Is?
Speaker 2: Spend too much time on the Internet? And that's kind
Speaker 2: of a you know, like a little one linery scotch.
Speaker 2: So there's a lesson to you all. This is a
Speaker 2: movie that's very much about cyberspace. They say cyberspace. Every
Speaker 2: character says it at least one time.
Speaker 3: That phrase space phrase we're saying all the time is
Speaker 3: very current. Yeah, so they have like a gen z
Speaker 3: writer on this. I guess I mean Alpha.
Speaker 2: Maybe this is somebody who's like, was raised by someone
Speaker 2: who was born with the Internet. You know, this is
Speaker 2: somebody who.
Speaker 3: Is the granddaughter of someone who have Internet the whole life,
Speaker 3: granddaughter of a gen zy person writing this movie. And
Speaker 3: if you can feel it on the screen, it's like
Speaker 3: every inch of the screen is covered by someone who's
Speaker 3: beyond Internet life. Someone who doesn't isn't even on TikTok.
Speaker 3: It's so old, embarrassed.
Speaker 2: And they are saying that we need to protect cyberspace.
Speaker 2: Cyberspace could be destroyed. This is said the film. And
Speaker 2: then Tom ultimately kills someone and says, you spent too
Speaker 2: much time on the Internet.
Speaker 3: That's his big sort of Yeah, wow, mic dropline, you
Speaker 3: spend too much time on the Internet.
Speaker 2: May I go that way, But I'll say that Tom
Speaker 2: has a thriving Instagram presence.
Speaker 3: Does he? I don't follow him, and I should I looked.
Speaker 2: It up yesterday. You know it's not off the cuff.
Speaker 2: These are you know, promo stills, this sort of thing
Speaker 2: that I have to imagine a scientologist is running this. Sure,
Speaker 2: I can't imagine. There's just like a normal person.
Speaker 3: One time I went to the center like in Los Feels,
Speaker 3: like the one by UCB. Oh. Of course, I went
Speaker 3: to the restaurant there. You've never had better service in
Speaker 3: a restaurant. You can no longer go there. They I tried, Well,
Speaker 3: you can't. This was years ago because of.
Speaker 2: Tax some sort of tax problem. They're constantly trying to
Speaker 2: evade taxes, and I believe you now have to be
Speaker 2: like a member of the religion in order to enjoy
Speaker 2: the cafe.
Speaker 3: Incredible service there. Michl star Worthy really attentive. When I
Speaker 3: asked where the bathroom was, it was a far ways away,
Speaker 3: and he said, I'll walk you there. Well around, But
Speaker 3: that was just sort of the energy you just felt,
Speaker 3: very like it needs were anticipated. You know, they're there
Speaker 3: with the fork right after you drop it in away.
Speaker 3: We're like, how did you know they were under the
Speaker 3: table to catch the fork before it hits the gar Yeah,
Speaker 3: incredible food. I have no memories of the food.
Speaker 2: I remember looking at the food online and it looked
Speaker 2: a little like wedding catering.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that feels right. This was probably the year twenty eighteen, probably.
Speaker 2: And that makes sense.
Speaker 3: It's been a while.
Speaker 2: I've been to the Celebrity Center right next door, and
Speaker 2: as a celebrity. As a celebrity, I said, make way,
Speaker 2: everybody here comes to the celebrity I went in there
Speaker 2: and they need to open a window. That's mostly, but
Speaker 2: I imagine they don't know borndows.
Speaker 3: For temperature, for smell or both.
Speaker 2: Okay, there's a stuffiness to the air that feels like,
Speaker 2: let's let's air it out. Yeah, it's but I want
Speaker 2: if there's something about not wanting to open the windows
Speaker 2: in in case somebody wants to move in or out
Speaker 2: of place, being undetected. Sure, but there was a stuffiness.
Speaker 2: And I've also been to the blue building, the big
Speaker 2: hospital size one.
Speaker 3: No, I don't if I have. I forgot that.
Speaker 2: One's in those feelas.
Speaker 3: It's that I must have seen it right, absolutely how
Speaker 3: much time I've spent stopping around those feelings.
Speaker 2: The very is the worst blue you can imagine painting
Speaker 2: a building.
Speaker 3: Okay, and not like these two shades. Actually, these are
Speaker 3: some of the best blues.
Speaker 2: It might be the color of the shirt, yes, a
Speaker 2: little lighter. And I believe it's a former.
Speaker 3: Hospital but now and sort of current. I'm sure a
Speaker 3: lot of the people love to be lost. My producer play,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I literally just shot myself. Don't clip this,
Speaker 3: don't clip this. Keep this for our listeners only. Going wide.
Speaker 2: Thomas browsing suggested reels, and one runs by and he
Speaker 2: sees it. Then he sees this and he's like, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to space with this asshole.
Speaker 3: No way. Unbelieveable. Tom's got a new girl, really does he?
Speaker 3: I think so?
Speaker 2: A non scientologist, I believe. Oh who knows what's gonna
Speaker 2: happen to her? Water and oil, fire and ice. Tom
Speaker 2: Cruise and his non scientology girlfriend. These are classic pairs.
Speaker 2: Of course, doctor a patient, these are classic pairs.
Speaker 3: But he's circling somebody, and I mean, what is that?
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: What is that? The experience of being in his field
Speaker 2: of vision as a romantic interest. Oh yeah, see taking
Speaker 2: you on motorcycle rides, see hot air balloon rides.
Speaker 3: I hate to do this again. I have a second story.
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you off air.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I haven't come from the same source. Okay,
Speaker 2: I have one that's more. It feels more like an
Speaker 2: urban legend that involves Tom Cruise an island and his birthday.
Speaker 3: Oh that's fun, that's fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a it's a wild one. And I don't
Speaker 2: know that. I mean, it feels like such a myth
Speaker 2: that I feel like you could say it on.
Speaker 3: You know, But there's there's many forms of truth. There's
Speaker 3: the things that just like feel so true in the
Speaker 3: myth building way that you're just sort of like, this
Speaker 3: is I know this is apocryphal, but it's like true
Speaker 3: to the essence, right, So maybe it's one of those.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this one, and it's an exciting one. It's a
Speaker 2: there's an element of danger and sexy.
Speaker 3: I bet, I bet knowing that guy and on his birthday,
Speaker 3: of all days, one of the most sexy days, and
Speaker 3: there's danger there too the birthday. You know what he
Speaker 3: does do on his birthday? Cakes? You think he gets
Speaker 3: a lot of cook I had on this podcast, how
Speaker 3: for not one that was from him, just from the show.
Speaker 2: Fortune themesir was aware. I think she may have gotten
Speaker 2: one from him.
Speaker 3: I bet Fortune feels like she's on that level, that
Speaker 3: she brought God to be on that level. What are
Speaker 3: you in it for? You know, Hollywood News asking me
Speaker 3: what are your goals as an as an entertainer of
Speaker 3: little renown, and I go, well, I hope to break
Speaker 3: out of my niche cabal of queer comedy and off Broadway.
Speaker 3: You're on work at Josh Sharp today and go to
Speaker 3: the next level, which is receiving a coconut cake from Tom.
Speaker 2: I think that's within reach. I think the list is long,
Speaker 2: and I think it's constantly shifting. I think some people
Speaker 2: are like, oh, I didn't get one, what did I
Speaker 2: do wrong? Fascinating, But I can't imagine it's Tom. I
Speaker 2: think it's kind of a picky assistant who's or a
Speaker 2: PR team, Yeah, PR team, or just someone like it's
Speaker 2: probably IMDb Star Meter.
Speaker 3: They're probably just like, yeah, look for the top. That's
Speaker 3: not a bad way to do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I might start doing that, sending a thousand cakes.
Speaker 3: It would be good for the guy from I said
Speaker 3: no gifts to give out, to be known for his
Speaker 3: gift giving to the top thousand.
Speaker 2: You know, I wonder how much that would cost well,
Speaker 2: probably one hundred thousand dollars or so. If everyone will
Speaker 2: donate a little bit of money to my next PR stunt.
Speaker 3: That's your Patreon, right, Yeah, you're clearing six daily, release
Speaker 3: your taxes to the listener, release your taxes richer, and
Speaker 3: as transparency, We're going.
Speaker 2: To create a specific tier of the Patreon, which is
Speaker 2: donate cakes to the top thousand star meter on IMDb.
Speaker 3: And a tier above that where if you pay enough,
Speaker 3: you get to see your taxes. There should be a
Speaker 3: one tier that's like one person gets to see my
Speaker 3: taxes if you pay. How much should that be? How
Speaker 3: much would I let for someone to see my taxes?
Speaker 3: Actually not that much. No, the idea that it's only
Speaker 3: one person is sort of fun, right then I actually
Speaker 3: don't need that much money.
Speaker 2: But then do they have to sign an NDA because
Speaker 2: you don't want them leaking and then people getting.
Speaker 3: A private thing experience. Then if they won't tell anybody,
Speaker 3: two hundred bucks, I would say, fifty bucks, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3: I went there in my head and I was like,
Speaker 3: come on, self worth, give you some a little more
Speaker 3: than that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but two hundred dollars Okay, you should start a
Speaker 2: Patreon exclusively to show one person your text.
Speaker 3: And when you log on, it's like one of one
Speaker 3: slots filled. You like, can't do it? Yeah, exactly. I
Speaker 3: think you have to wait for that person to die
Speaker 3: an allied a month to keep having access.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so you can't. You that can be
Speaker 2: a one time and your taxes are fluctuating. You could
Speaker 2: hit hard times, you could hit a big and the.
Speaker 3: And have Do you want to promote promote anything? Mission impossible?
Speaker 3: Go to Tom Cruise dot com. Go to I went there. God,
Speaker 3: I should have called my show the Final Reckoning, Josh
Speaker 3: the Final Reckoning. There's still time, there's still time to switch.
Speaker 3: Go to josharp Today dot com to see me and
Speaker 3: Josh Sharp the Final Reckoning his website.
Speaker 2: I went and looked at this little information. There is
Speaker 2: a biography which is extremely long.
Speaker 3: Think and it's fun to think about your like, huh,
Speaker 3: this Tom Cruise guy, what's his story? And your first
Speaker 3: thought being I guess I'll go to Tom Cruise dot com
Speaker 3: and see if there's a biography there. You're gonna find
Speaker 3: your entry point. What was the thing that brought him
Speaker 3: into your culture? And yet there was still so many
Speaker 3: nothing about this person. It's very like about me.
Speaker 2: That's like you get in there and I can't image
Speaker 2: who wrote that? Who do you hire to write the
Speaker 2: Tom Cruise biography?
Speaker 3: Read it the voice? It didn't feel like Tom is
Speaker 3: what you're saying. It could have been.
Speaker 2: He's up late one night, is thinking why not? Yeah,
Speaker 2: people should know beginning.
Speaker 3: He's had a little too much coconut cake, stuffed to
Speaker 3: the gills, He's past his bedtime. He knows he was
Speaker 3: being naughty. He had an extra slice when he shouldn't.
Speaker 3: He said, oh god, I won't be able to sleep
Speaker 3: at all. But fine, And then he's up a little wired,
Speaker 3: a little crazy. Be goes, what if I wrote in
Speaker 3: about me? Fires up the computer.
Speaker 2: I will say the biography ends before the most the
Speaker 2: current mission impossible. So I feel like someone's gonna get fired.
Speaker 2: Clifang clip this and get that person fire. Yeah, because
Speaker 2: they need to update final reckoning maybe somebody Maybe he
Speaker 2: forgot the password, Maybe.
Speaker 3: You forgot the password. What would it really say? And
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, he reckoned with everything
Speaker 3: you know, And to conclude his gorgeous career, he did that.
Speaker 3: He did one last reckon for the girls. The end
Speaker 3: that's the last line of the film. This is for
Speaker 3: you girls, This is for you girls. One last reckon
Speaker 3: to camera, straight the camera. Hey, just you know these
Speaker 3: ninety two films, they've all been for you girls. Stay reckoning.
Speaker 2: Dives back into the oceans. No, the biography is worth reading.
Speaker 3: What name should have when he goes to space?
Speaker 2: Oh like, what new character? I feel like play?
Speaker 3: That's play to Chris. Yeah? No, or oh, Chris, what
Speaker 3: was the name of this Chris Warri Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,
Speaker 3: Chris ware is really good.
Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, that's nice. That's a little too I would
Speaker 2: say it's a little downtown.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's a coded way to say yes. And I
Speaker 3: don't know that he wants to get too close. This
Speaker 3: is you know, one of your mom's friends at church
Speaker 3: and your son. Is he still downtown? This is this
Speaker 3: is your mom's church friend, trying to inquire your mom
Speaker 3: forcing a smile. Yes, he's actually never been more downtown.
Speaker 3: Keeps moving south. Actually, but he's got a job. But
Speaker 3: he's got a job and a partner.
Speaker 2: Chris Vai, I mean that's I think that may just
Speaker 2: have to be it. Chris, I mean, but actually actually,
Speaker 2: unfortunately it's the Gail King story. I think we already
Speaker 2: know he's playing Gail King's Gail King or maybe Gail.
Speaker 3: King as could be the sort of like you know
Speaker 3: in the biopick where they sort of invent the composite
Speaker 3: character that's like, oh, we sort of need to put
Speaker 3: six people in one like it's his manager and also
Speaker 3: his grandpa, and also his lawyer and also his cake maker.
Speaker 3: Chris fare is like the one who inspires Gail to
Speaker 3: go to space, also played by Tom also played by
Speaker 3: Tom kind of a clumps what we in the business
Speaker 3: call a clumps scenario. You know, there's only four story
Speaker 3: as they say, it's Casablanca. It's clumps and clumps and clumps.
Speaker 3: There's only so many stories that we keep retelling, and
Speaker 3: we keep doing clumps. Sinners Sinners is a clump. Sinners
Speaker 3: is a clumps. Ultimately, Sinners is a clumps. Ultimately it's also,
Speaker 3: i would say, almost a word for word retelling of
Speaker 3: the clumps. Yes, adaptation, that's a clumps. We have so
Speaker 3: many great clumps in the in the lexicon, in the
Speaker 3: media landscale.
Speaker 2: How many clumps were there?
Speaker 3: Actual clumps and not just the story retold, I just.
Speaker 2: Want you to answer the question no other information.
Speaker 3: You are so can I apologize deeply? You are so right.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean obviously. Thank you, Thank you, my god.
Speaker 3: I'm ashamed. How many clumps were there? There is actually
Speaker 3: so many reads on that I know because it's both
Speaker 3: How many in this version of like Casablanca's are there
Speaker 3: to which I would say probably two hundred and fifty
Speaker 3: stories that clump? Okay me in the franchise, I want
Speaker 3: to say three, But then I'm also going but in
Speaker 3: the family of clumps, how many members of clumps were there?
Speaker 2: And I'm during a dinner table.
Speaker 3: And I'm portraying dinner table. I'm wanting to go eight.
Speaker 3: And are they all Eddie? I don't know, but there
Speaker 3: are I think more clumps than there are Eddies. You know.
Speaker 3: I think he's some of the clumps, and I think
Speaker 3: there's others.
Speaker 2: There are other people that are not. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 2: the field. He has to playoff a clump.
Speaker 3: I've never seen a clump. A clump needs another person
Speaker 3: to play culturally aware of a clump. Yeah, clump needs
Speaker 3: can't all be clump to clump. It can't all be
Speaker 3: Eddie to Eddie. Sometimes it's got to be Oh, poison
Speaker 3: the audience. It's poison the audience. How many clumps are there? Gosh,
Speaker 3: we're going to try and name them, like the like
Speaker 3: the Disciples again, Matthew Luke, John Clump, doubting, Thomas Clump
Speaker 3: hooker Clump Uh, Thomas Clump at the dinner table. I
Speaker 3: don't know about all this.
Speaker 2: Well, I I actually have to believe there's a last
Speaker 2: supper scene of the clumps, and I'm sure somebody's done that.
Speaker 3: Well, they're all on one side of the table. Yeah,
Speaker 3: last supper style.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that.
Speaker 3: I'm sure that's been made somewhere made as we speak.
Speaker 3: Listener right now is going I could get rich just
Speaker 3: running to their paints and well, is there anything left
Speaker 3: we need to say about these T shirts? The feel
Speaker 3: is nice, you know, like layered, and you mean that
Speaker 3: open parentheses complimentary, close parenthesies. Yes, you're not trying to
Speaker 3: be open printeses derogatory like it's winter and the shirt
Speaker 3: hasn't made me warm.
Speaker 2: No, it's I'm saying this is good. This is good
Speaker 2: as a layer. It almost feels like breathes, I guess,
Speaker 2: is what we would say right, it breathes. I think
Speaker 2: it is kind of an athleisure or a sportswear.
Speaker 3: Definitely an athlete Shure's why. I think it would pair
Speaker 3: well with your Lululemon sort of right.
Speaker 2: For your next live show, or a stiff denim or a.
Speaker 3: Stiff denim real. And I think there's something to you
Speaker 3: trying to embrace all three in the look. Either they're
Speaker 3: layered on top or or two where like armed big
Speaker 3: long arm sleeves, you make a pant out of it,
Speaker 3: make kind of a skirch the Lulu limen and they're
Speaker 3: sort of up each leg as sort of like almost
Speaker 3: like a big flowy player a bell bottom that hits
Speaker 3: mid thigh, I think, or something to that. There we go.
Speaker 3: I think there's something too that feels like the next
Speaker 3: on stage. I feel like now I have no choice whether.
Speaker 2: It works or not.
Speaker 3: You were retired from the stage, right I was done,
Speaker 3: turned in your equity card like Patty Lapone, and now
Speaker 3: we're dragging you back. I'm giving controversial interviews always. You're
Speaker 3: in one right now, aren't you? Who on Broadway should
Speaker 3: I insult? Right now? Oh? Gosh, who on Broadway should
Speaker 3: you insult? Right now? Who on off Broadway Josh Sharp Tada,
Speaker 3: of course, ask me what I thought of your show? Bridger,
Speaker 3: what do you think of my show? And then I'll
Speaker 3: do the New Yorker quote At that Bridger stared off
Speaker 3: into the window for fifteen seconds. Then what line did
Speaker 3: you come back on? It's like weather's nice to beautiful
Speaker 3: day Brava. Finally, and Angelina who reads the New Yorker? Finally,
Speaker 3: we love Patty a menace, an absolute menace society. Have
Speaker 3: you thought about starting a magazine? The Angelina? That's not
Speaker 3: a bad Has anybody ever tried another thing? I don't
Speaker 3: want to look up.
Speaker 2: There's never been a better time to experiment in print
Speaker 2: media than.
Speaker 3: Never been a better The getting is good in print.
Speaker 3: It's just a cash grab. It's a barrel. It's a
Speaker 3: Start a newspaper, kids, you want some advice from an
Speaker 3: old dog, Start a newspaper. That's what I wish I did.
Speaker 3: You want to know where the money is. You want
Speaker 3: to know where the money is. Start a daily newspaper,
Speaker 3: Buy a print factory. It's it's gonna get good. It's
Speaker 3: gonna get good. It's gonna get better. It is good.
Speaker 3: It's gonna get great.
Speaker 2: Well, I think we should play a game.
Speaker 3: I would love to play a game.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse.
Speaker 2: But I need a number between one and ten from you.
Speaker 3: Well, the answer, of course is nine. Nine.
Speaker 2: I love a nine.
Speaker 3: Gorgeous, rarely picked people don't care about leaning against the boom. Yes,
Speaker 3: Jessica Rabbin, long cigarette, huge head, no husband, many boyfriends,
Speaker 3: Miss nine, Miss that's miss nine. I haven't been missus
Speaker 3: nine for years.
Speaker 2: Uh. I have to do some like calculating to get
Speaker 2: our game pieces. So right now, you can promote, you
Speaker 2: can recommend, you could do whatever you want. I would
Speaker 2: feel so tacky to be I know you're not that person. No,
Speaker 2: I'll tell you this because we mentioned this off here
Speaker 2: to answer your question. Yes, my off Broadway run Josh
Speaker 2: Sharp Todad, directed by Sam Pinkleton of o'mary and produced
Speaker 2: by Mike and Carly who've worked with caper Land, Jacquelynovac,
Speaker 2: my Big Early your Favorites.
Speaker 3: The show's in the Greenwich House Theater. And yes, that's
Speaker 3: where Immersive Sweeney Todd was in twenty nineteen. Question Mark,
Speaker 3: you could sit in the pie shop and eat pie
Speaker 3: while Sweeney in the gang jumped up on the table
Speaker 3: and did their high chinks. So yes, as a gay comedian,
Speaker 3: it's my birthright to get to haunt that space all summer.
Speaker 3: And I do intend to kill myself at the end
Speaker 3: of the run so that I can haunt the space
Speaker 3: as a specter. So come in while I'm alive about
Speaker 3: come in after, and I'll be haunting your ass. Was
Speaker 3: that enough? Time? That was perfect?
Speaker 2: Did we ever hear about the quality of the pie
Speaker 2: or was it like somebody ran to?
Speaker 3: When I went to see it, I did not sit
Speaker 3: down there. I sat in the balcony. There were like
Speaker 3: two rows of balcony seats if you didn't want to
Speaker 3: be in it. And I was like, if you were
Speaker 3: hungry for dinner. You weren't hungry for dinner. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: can't imagine it was good, but that's true to the text. Oh,
Speaker 3: if you taste good, you go shit. This is gonna
Speaker 3: be a bad production of Sweeney. Huh. It's like when
Speaker 3: you cast the Sally Bulls who can sing too well. Right,
Speaker 3: everyone understands every single thing we have said. I felt
Speaker 3: like I had one. Oh.
Speaker 2: What I was going to say is everyone should see
Speaker 2: the show. I saw a very early run of it.
Speaker 3: It was rough.
Speaker 2: Josh was working through a lot of things, and your
Speaker 2: note saved the production. I got on stage about halfway
Speaker 2: through the show and just I had to kind of
Speaker 2: guide him physically.
Speaker 3: He moved my limbs, but.
Speaker 2: I said, I did save the show, and now they're
Speaker 2: gonna try it again. I'm not gonna be in New York,
Speaker 2: so I can't save it again. So we're gonna just
Speaker 2: have to trust that Josh will do it. But it's
Speaker 2: one of the it's an amazing feat. Everyone should see
Speaker 2: this show, and it's I mean, it's truly everything you need.
Speaker 3: You're too kind, it's so good.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is how we play gift or a Curse.
Speaker 2: I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me
Speaker 2: if there're a gift or a curse and why. Then
Speaker 2: I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there
Speaker 2: are correct answer.
Speaker 3: I know, and you forgot the last part, which is
Speaker 3: I will get them all right. That's how the game
Speaker 3: is played. We all know this. We'll see.
Speaker 2: We'll just have to wait and see.
Speaker 3: We'll see. We'll see me get them all right. Say it.
Speaker 2: And we'll see you get them all. Right, absolutely, you're
Speaker 2: worth two hundred dollars a month. Okay, these are all
Speaker 2: Patreon suggestions. First one up is from a listener named
Speaker 2: Austin Give to recurse the mayor's recorded greeting at the airport.
Speaker 3: Curse. Why I don't need to be greeted by this man?
Speaker 3: There's so many When I come to a city, it's
Speaker 3: not for its political figurehead greet me with the culture.
Speaker 3: I'd rather hook her say hello to me than the mayor.
Speaker 3: I spit. Also, let's be specific, you want to land
Speaker 3: in New York and have that that cheeto Eric Adams
Speaker 3: welcome you yuck. Curse. Correct, it's a curse if they
Speaker 3: if the mayor cared, they'd be there. Well, exactly, be
Speaker 3: there at the gate. And you are the mayor. You're
Speaker 3: going to the fucking vo booths to record this bullshit? Yeah,
Speaker 3: shouldn't you even? Should be literally, I would so much
Speaker 3: rather Mayor I Adams sweep the streets for an hour
Speaker 3: a day or there's so many things a mayor can do.
Speaker 3: And you know it wasn't the first take. No, they
Speaker 3: were in the booth all day and again again, and
Speaker 3: you know he came back for pickups. Probably sure, and
Speaker 3: they're like, you don't have to do this, It's just
Speaker 3: you know, it's just weeks of work. And you know
Speaker 3: it was non union.
Speaker 2: Of course, the mayor didn't get the pay he needed.
Speaker 3: No nor the crew nor the crew.
Speaker 2: Everyone was cheated in this production. And it makes you
Speaker 2: feel uneasy at the airport.
Speaker 3: I don't want that.
Speaker 2: Don't talk to me at the airport, especially over.
Speaker 3: You know what greets you at. Have you been to
Speaker 3: Logardia recently? I have, but remember it used to be
Speaker 3: greeted by a beautiful water features. I was just about
Speaker 3: to bring up Ligordia used to be a dump. It's
Speaker 3: one of the greatest airports we have. I could not
Speaker 3: have water feature set to New York, New York. That
Speaker 3: happens on the fifteen. That's you being greeted by the mayor.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? There's nothing more mayoral
Speaker 3: than do your water sounds one done done, that's my mayor.
Speaker 3: You've been greeted heartily. We the people of New York say,
Speaker 3: enjoy our water feature.
Speaker 2: That airport they've done. They've such a good job, wonders.
Speaker 2: I was scared to go into it, and then I'll
Speaker 2: never go to another airport, Burbank to LaGuardia.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's living. It's a dream vacation. When you fly
Speaker 3: into Burbank here my god, and baggage claim outside, you're like,
Speaker 3: what am I in the Caribbean. It's the tropics.
Speaker 2: Baggage claim outside is such a you could do that
Speaker 2: in a cold climate. I think people are thrilled to
Speaker 2: get outside and get.
Speaker 3: Really do feel like you've just you know, you're you
Speaker 3: feel like you're about to board a carnival cruise.
Speaker 2: There's something a little safari about it.
Speaker 3: M h. It's very Bahamanian. Yes, all right, you've gotten
Speaker 3: one right so far, so you're on track. I'll get
Speaker 3: to more right. We know this.
Speaker 2: This next one is from a listener named Nicola nicol
Speaker 2: n I c o l A. Maybe that's a name
Speaker 2: for Tom Cruise.
Speaker 3: That's absolutely who's trying to take the spaceship down? Who's
Speaker 3: kind of on the back of the first time I've
Speaker 3: done it all episode gift or a curse? Overnight oats
Speaker 3: overnight oats gift or a curse. I think we're going
Speaker 3: to disagree on this. To me, curse, I just don't
Speaker 3: really get it. I don't really understand why it needs
Speaker 3: to do what it does overnight. I don't know why
Speaker 3: everything you're getting from it can't be done in the morning.
Speaker 3: And I'm even pro oats pulling me some hot water
Speaker 3: on these oats. Come now, a hearty, warm breakfast. I
Speaker 3: just don't get all of the to do. It's not
Speaker 3: like it's there's not a maturation. It's not a fine wine.
Speaker 3: It's not a kombucha. You just need these these oats
Speaker 3: to be soggy. I just don't think it needs all that.
Speaker 3: I don't like that. It's the last thing you see
Speaker 3: when you go to bed and the first thing you
Speaker 3: see when you wake up. That should be a prayer.
Speaker 3: That should be your beautiful wife, or a prayer to
Speaker 3: God on High. But not these dry and then wet oats.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, tell me I'm right correct. It's a curse.
Speaker 3: I've tried them once or twice, never impressed. I've never
Speaker 3: tried them.
Speaker 2: They don't look it's a cold wet thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, and I get it. I'm like, it's
Speaker 3: a cold wet thing that we've already done hot and
Speaker 3: cozy and lovely.
Speaker 2: Right, we already have the better version.
Speaker 3: You already do it warm and sprinkled with cinnamon. Why
Speaker 3: do you want it wet and cold? And then on
Speaker 3: top of that, it could be wet and cold in
Speaker 3: just the morning oats? Right, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: You could pour cold water on it. Why do you
Speaker 3: have to do this whole thing.
Speaker 2: It's a waste of everyone's time. It's wasted my time personally,
Speaker 2: at least twice. I was so excited to try it,
Speaker 2: and I got ripped off.
Speaker 3: Can I ask what's in it other than the oats?
Speaker 3: Does it have other things?
Speaker 2: I may have put peanut butter in it?
Speaker 3: And is that the whole thing that? It's like? You
Speaker 3: let it sit with all these other flavor.
Speaker 2: I guess, and it kind of they intermingle, and then
Speaker 2: you have I just.
Speaker 3: Don't get it, and I don't want to. I think
Speaker 3: I feel very blue about that. I don't understand the
Speaker 3: question I refuse to answer. It's my favorite arrest of development,
Speaker 3: such a plater platter, the question I refuse answer. That's meat,
Speaker 3: overnight oes, Yeah, overnight oats.
Speaker 2: I think it's a trend we're going to leave behind us,
Speaker 2: and we're all going to say, remember overnight oats. We
Speaker 2: will be embarrassed it's kind of the mango in salsa.
Speaker 3: We will be embarrassed.
Speaker 2: Where we all thought this is the thing we're talking
Speaker 2: about it, No, we all knew it wasn't working. Okay,
Speaker 2: you've found two so far.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll see what happens. Finally, this is from a listener
Speaker 2: named Kelsey. Gift or a curse. Brushing your teeth in
Speaker 2: the work bathroom after lunch.
Speaker 3: Gift Gift nice. I love the feeling of a fresh mouth,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? And there also something a
Speaker 3: little bit in this context. You know, I love to
Speaker 3: brush my teeth in the morning. I love to brush
Speaker 3: it at night before I go to bed, after a meal,
Speaker 3: so that you don't taste whatever you've tasted. Of course, that's,
Speaker 3: of course, that's a clear win. But then the icing
Speaker 3: is the radical act of bringing this very private, very
Speaker 3: home object into the workspace. It's you saying you don't
Speaker 3: own me, you don't own me, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's you're you're walking towards what if I fucking have
Speaker 3: a wink in the middle of the day at work?
Speaker 3: Who cares? You know what I mean? It's the right
Speaker 3: attitude towards work to say I'm the boss of me.
Speaker 3: Now gift ring the bell, Josh, you won the case.
Speaker 3: It's not about winning that we said this was going
Speaker 3: to happen. It's a gift. You followed the rules. You
Speaker 3: followed the rules, which were win the game. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: followed the rules, which I'd get everyone right. It's a gift,
Speaker 3: yeah for me.
Speaker 2: What a better way if you want to build buzz
Speaker 2: around the office around you as a person, start.
Speaker 3: Brushing your teeth fresh. You're saying, now we're talking about you,
Speaker 3: and you mean not just because you have the good breath,
Speaker 3: a show of it. Yep. One coworker comes in, you're
Speaker 3: brushing your teeth. They're telling everybody, And can I ask
Speaker 3: where do you leave the toothbrush? Willy Nelly on the
Speaker 3: counter or I was gonna say, bring your own drinking
Speaker 3: glass and put it in there as if it's your home.
Speaker 3: Maybe a cute novelty mug. I have a great mug
Speaker 3: that's got a New Yorker cartoon and it's got these
Speaker 3: two old men and they're sitting in rocking chairs on
Speaker 3: a porch and one says to the other, were we
Speaker 3: gay that mug with with with a toothbrush in it
Speaker 3: at your work.
Speaker 2: And what I'll say is you get there early the
Speaker 2: first thing you bring it. You have to get there
Speaker 2: early before everyone else and put it in there, because
Speaker 2: then you have a mystery for the day. Everyone's wondering
Speaker 2: who brought it?
Speaker 3: Did this?
Speaker 2: Asking then the person, can I be you brought it in?
Speaker 3: You know it's you. I'm the first time a coworker
Speaker 3: comes up and asks you, and you're so delighted to
Speaker 3: feign you know that you don't know. Okay, can we
Speaker 3: roleplay that? Yeah? Of course? Did you see there's a
Speaker 3: toothbrush in the bathroom? Wait? Wait, I'm sorry, what did
Speaker 3: you say? There's well, let me back up. There's a
Speaker 3: hilarious mug in the bathroom, and then someone has put
Speaker 3: what seems to be a personal toothpression there. Did you
Speaker 3: see that here in our work bathroom? Yes? Who do
Speaker 3: you think would have done that? I am? I don't know?
Speaker 2: Uh am I the first person you're asking? Yes, shit,
Speaker 2: I don't all keep an eye out. And then we
Speaker 2: meet in the bathroom and you feel so betrayed. Huh oh,
Speaker 2: you got me, I say, and then you you quit?
Speaker 3: You got me? I can't work here anymore. You got me? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I got you? Get me again. Don't do something like
Speaker 3: that to me at work. Well, then don't be such
Speaker 3: a dumb ass. You fell for it, and I'll go.
Speaker 3: The mug was funny though. Were we gay? Come on?
Speaker 3: You can picture it? That's the new picture? What is it?
Speaker 3: What's the caption for the Angelina? Two old men on
Speaker 3: the you know? I, uh, were we had a mission impossible?
Speaker 3: Or no? Were we scientologist?
Speaker 2: I have a catch all for every New Yorker cartoon,
Speaker 2: but I think works for every one of them, and
Speaker 2: it's I see you've met my wife.
Speaker 3: I think you can put one hundred almost and it
Speaker 3: basically works the two of men sitting in the rocking chair.
Speaker 3: I see you've met my wife. I'm laughing. Everyone's laughing,
Speaker 3: and they're bringing their own baggage to it because they're
Speaker 3: trying to figure out what does that mean? Okay? It
Speaker 3: also does work for an offer I should have called
Speaker 3: my show, Josh Harp, I see You've met my wife?
Speaker 3: The final record? That's so funny? Yeah? Dot com dot com? Wow,
Speaker 3: you won the game?
Speaker 2: What can I say?
Speaker 3: I've followed the rules. You followed the rules. You didn't
Speaker 3: win the game.
Speaker 2: You came here and you did what you needed to.
Speaker 3: I'm an eldest child. I'm an eagle Scout. I follow
Speaker 3: an eagle Scout. Scott is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brand, clean,
Speaker 3: and reverent. Does that answer your question? You're the first.
Speaker 2: I'm also an eagle Scout.
Speaker 3: Why didn't you join me?
Speaker 2: Because I was a bad one? I cheated my way
Speaker 2: to the top.
Speaker 3: Wow, I didn't. I only had three out of twelve
Speaker 3: of those Jesus boys. I knew that whole thing. I
Speaker 3: didn't know. I knew that whole thing. Can you do
Speaker 3: on my honor? I will do my best to do
Speaker 3: my duty to God in my country, to keep myself
Speaker 3: physically strong, mentally awake, morally, morally straight. I think I
Speaker 3: morally straight. Oh, that's a tough one. Morally straight that
Speaker 3: can't possibly And sexually straight, yeah, and sexually questioning this
Speaker 3: is unbeloved. My morals was straight. It's my sexuality that's
Speaker 3: a bit curved. That's Jonas, of course, Wow, Judas, I
Speaker 3: meant to say fuck. I fucked up the joke like
Speaker 3: he was Samantha Jones and.
Speaker 2: Swallowed by the Whale and the other eleven were wondering why,
Speaker 2: actually he's an Old test my guy.
Speaker 3: He's with Abraham. All them, all them guys.
Speaker 2: They had the fun things happened to them.
Speaker 3: They had some crazy shit happened.
Speaker 2: Old Testament people got the adventures, the excitement.
Speaker 3: New Testament people got to meet a leper. I guess
Speaker 3: talk to me when I got eaten by a while.
Speaker 2: Analise has a we're not gonna onalase has a gift
Speaker 2: or a curse that they're going to get present to
Speaker 2: both of us, absolutely, and we'll see who's right or wrong.
Speaker 3: Gift or a curse.
Speaker 4: The showstop around of the Great British Bakeoff.
Speaker 3: Gift. Okay, you gift. The show is a gift. Let's
Speaker 3: start there. It's impossible to call any part of that
Speaker 3: show a curse, you know, it's a gift. Perfect casting
Speaker 3: that show always I care deeply for, and the archetypes,
Speaker 3: the way they've managed to find so many iterations.
Speaker 2: What about Matt Lucas. That wasn't good casting.
Speaker 3: I even liked that. I hate it. I liked other
Speaker 3: hosts more, but I liked Matt Lucas. Honestly, I've always
Speaker 3: loved everything the amount of iterations they've found on like
Speaker 3: Hawaiian shirt dad who loves his daughter. You know, they
Speaker 3: have these like archetypes. They managed to keep filling me
Speaker 3: with warmth. And the show stoppers, and you know, it's
Speaker 3: where they get to really pull out the stops, you know,
Speaker 3: they and they all they're so autobiographical, you know, and
Speaker 3: the technical challenge. You don't get to show off like well,
Speaker 3: actually I at work, I play violin from at the
Speaker 3: lunch breaks, you know, so I made a big violin.
Speaker 3: Like that's what you get out of the short stopper.
Speaker 3: You get to really learn about these people. So that's
Speaker 3: a gift to me. The whole show is a gift,
Speaker 3: and one of the most gifting parts is the show stopper.
Speaker 2: To me, curse, this is the worst part of the show.
Speaker 2: The showstopper on Bakeoff is an absolute waste of everyone's time,
Speaker 2: and it goes against everything the show is about.
Speaker 3: Because you think it's realized about home baking, and it's like,
Speaker 3: you'd never do this in the home.
Speaker 2: This is architecture, this is uh, this is model work.
Speaker 2: This is a waste of my time. You're making toys
Speaker 2: that aren't they don't look that good.
Speaker 3: It looks cheap.
Speaker 2: It is cheap, you know, spiritually cheap, I would say.
Speaker 2: And I'm watching the show hoping to see something that
Speaker 2: I would love to eat. I don't want to watch
Speaker 2: you make your like bring it to class project. It's embarrassing.
Speaker 2: It's a chance for everyone to fall on their face
Speaker 2: making a hideous little sculpture. I think it's they should cut.
Speaker 2: I stopped the show after the second round. I've stopped
Speaker 2: watching to stop r I say, well, I don't need
Speaker 2: to see that.
Speaker 3: So then you start the next episode. Every time you go,
Speaker 3: where did that dad who loved its daughter in the
Speaker 3: wine shirt? Goh, yes, I do basically, And I assume, well,
Speaker 3: they probably created a horrible sculpture that nobody wanted because
Speaker 3: that's not their that's not their ertise.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not they're calling. They need to cut the round.
Speaker 2: They need to streamline or put a third round, which
Speaker 2: is just another baked.
Speaker 3: Good third round is always just like biscuit biscuit, plain biscuit,
Speaker 3: plain biscuit, no flavor, and for this week, a flower
Speaker 3: biscuit flower flower no the flavor. It should taste of flour.
Speaker 3: You have nineteen hours that round itself becomes three episodes.
Speaker 3: Nol's coming over, bothering you, starving, I love Nol, Nol's great,
Speaker 3: what a what a president? Well it was a big
Speaker 3: bouche head back in the day.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Well then this is really satisfying for you
Speaker 2: to watch it.
Speaker 3: Profoundly satisfying. And the new person they've got in there
Speaker 3: is good. I like her. Yeah, I don't know, I
Speaker 3: like I like it. But the show stop around with
Speaker 3: Prue Horry drunk terrific. She's drunk on the show. I
Speaker 3: love it. And she's like a thousand years old. She's
Speaker 3: actually much older than you think. She is really incredible. Actually,
Speaker 3: this is the first thing I want you to look up,
Speaker 3: because I'm pretty sure she's like eighty six or something,
Speaker 3: and it's it's much older than you think. Okay, let's
Speaker 3: see sure both with her, look her viv everything else.
Speaker 3: I haven't cared enough to look up.
Speaker 2: One final guess how old do you think she is?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna, I'm gonna I really nail it.
Speaker 2: Okay, eighty three ninety three, that's.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying. She's just kidding, she's saying, but still
Speaker 3: that's what. Yeah, she's she's like a mid sixties. She's
Speaker 3: a mid sixties and she's eighty five.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Good for her work. Can we be so lucky? Not
Speaker 3: just working, drinking, drinking too much? Fucking that woman still
Speaker 3: is horny and has fun and has a nip of whiskey. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I love Prue. Wow. Prior to this, it looks like
Speaker 3: she was doing a bunch of tea prewer to this
Speaker 3: you meant to say, you mean to say preor to
Speaker 3: this South African?
Speaker 2: Hm, Well on a lease, what is the answer.
Speaker 3: It's a gift.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I was following the rules. This will all be I'm
Speaker 3: not sorry.
Speaker 4: I'm not sorry because the one that I just watched
Speaker 4: had the lead singer of the Kaiser Chiefs upside down
Speaker 4: croak and boosh in the in the shape of a microphone.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry that was made especially for me.
Speaker 3: How could I not love something me just access to
Speaker 3: a white noise sound, not for zoo, you've actually pointed out,
Speaker 3: though you are correct, of course, and I got it
Speaker 3: right because I followed the rules. You're hitting on because
Speaker 3: your hardline is like, oh, I don't want to see
Speaker 3: the stuff that you want to actually bake. I actually
Speaker 3: don't watch the celebrity ones because I was like, I
Speaker 3: want normal people. I do want normal people, and this traders. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't really watch the trade the traders.
Speaker 2: When it was normal people had the time of my life.
Speaker 2: Now it's celebrities, the stakes feel much lower.
Speaker 3: So this is so. I was about to say, like,
Speaker 3: which one I've seen it, and then as soon as
Speaker 3: you said Kaiser Chiefs, I nope, yeah, definitely have it right.
Speaker 3: But I love the show stopper. I love pushing them
Speaker 3: into the deep end and making them do and it's silly,
Speaker 3: it's just goofy.
Speaker 2: It's a waste of time.
Speaker 3: But the whole thing is why does Tom ride the
Speaker 3: motorcycle off the cliff? It's all a waste of time.
Speaker 3: Think about this. Riding off of the cliff is a
Speaker 3: technical challenge. Think of the show Stopper like that. No,
Speaker 3: it's it's applying technical no high to something you shouldn't
Speaker 3: be doing.
Speaker 2: No, the show Stopper is the plot impossible movie.
Speaker 3: Is changing the oil on the motorcycle. Riding it off
Speaker 3: a cliff is not what its intended use is. Riding
Speaker 3: off the cliff is a technical challenge. Technical challenge is
Speaker 3: making a full stop at a stoplight. That's its intended use.
Speaker 3: That's making a flower biscuit, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: The motorcycle is not made to ride off the cliff.
Speaker 3: That's show stopping. That's saying, stop this show, Patti Lapone.
Speaker 3: This is Patti Lapone going, have you no decentse stop
Speaker 3: taking pictures to a photographer hired to be there. It
Speaker 3: is such a wild move. Sorry to fight you on
Speaker 3: your own podcasts and to interrupt.
Speaker 2: I'm deeply wrong. Yeah, oh god. And to be so
Speaker 2: shy not to even promote your show. And you've been
Speaker 2: a difficult Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm often told I need to speak up in life,
Speaker 3: and definitely on podcasts.
Speaker 2: We need to answer a listener question.
Speaker 3: We help me answer a listener I'd love to be
Speaker 3: delighted to people.
Speaker 2: Are writing into I said no gift stock Calm, no, no,
Speaker 2: they're not. I said no gifts at Gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: There's no I said no gifts dot com. Don't go there.
Speaker 3: I don't know what's to dot com.
Speaker 2: Go to Josh up to the A d ah. They're
Speaker 2: writing in and begging for answers.
Speaker 3: We help me answer one. I would love to Okay,
Speaker 3: this is deer bridger and Sweetypie guest.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 3: It feels, you know, shot in the dark, right, but
Speaker 3: they got sweet Pie, they got lucky. Good for you.
Speaker 2: You're building up your self confidence.
Speaker 3: Or they're present. They might be. They might have the
Speaker 3: gift psychic Fackham's razor. They have the gift of sight.
Speaker 3: I won't interrupt again.
Speaker 2: My friend was originally going to get married Valentine's Day
Speaker 2: to a lovely person she had a quick whirlwind relationship with.
Speaker 2: Several months after the wedding invite, we received a masked
Speaker 2: text that they had broken up parentheses December. She said
Speaker 2: she was devastated but still wanted to throw a Gallantine's
Speaker 2: Day type of party to celebrate her friendships and pick
Speaker 2: herself back up. I r s v P to this
Speaker 2: as well. Okay, so she did it to the wedding.
Speaker 2: End to this well, ready to party and cheer her up.
Speaker 2: Come January, we received an updated RSVP text for the
Speaker 2: party that it is now on with the boyfriend as
Speaker 2: they are now back together but not planning to get
Speaker 2: married again. On February fourteenth, in the original wedding venue
Speaker 2: they paid for god a chapel in a cemetery Oh.
Speaker 3: Wow, do you have that says it all?
Speaker 2: Do you have experience with this type of situation? Of course,
Speaker 2: who do you think you're talking to?
Speaker 3: What should I bring it to?
Speaker 2: A party in a cemetery on Valentine's Day? O or
Speaker 2: a little late, I guess on Valentine's Day? That has
Speaker 2: also the deeply awkward context of a broken off engagements
Speaker 2: but still happily living together. It will be my first
Speaker 2: time meeting the significant other. All I know about him
Speaker 2: is that he's pursuing a doctorate in philosophy.
Speaker 3: Thank you for your help. And that's from carin talk
Speaker 3: about a synectocky where the part represents the whole. The
Speaker 3: chapel in the graveyard is like, yep, there it is
Speaker 3: the whole situation, that's the whole thing. What do you bring?
Speaker 3: What do you god? I mean, what do you do?
Speaker 3: What do you do? I mean? I guess you have
Speaker 3: to go. I would sort of I feel like I'd
Speaker 3: want to embrace full ghoul and and actually whether I'm
Speaker 3: told or not, or whether I tell others or not,
Speaker 3: be like what if I make it spooky because it's
Speaker 3: in a graveyard, like come like dressed as like a
Speaker 3: maybe maybe hire someone to give me like really great
Speaker 3: like Hollywood level like Spook makeup. That's it. I mean
Speaker 3: I feel like, oh, and you could be like, because
Speaker 3: we're in a graveyard and your relationships back from the dead,
Speaker 3: do you get it? That'd be fun, of course.
Speaker 2: I mean I feel like that's beyond appropriate. Why else
Speaker 2: were they having it in a graveyard for a wedding
Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day?
Speaker 3: At every stage that was an interesting choice. They were
Speaker 3: begging for someone to show up most sense in this one, yes,
Speaker 3: makes less sense for Galentine's your wedding, right, Like, I'm
Speaker 3: back with this flop boyfriend. It's like, yeah, then let's
Speaker 3: do it in a monster and let's boogie. Absolutely ly
Speaker 3: will boogie.
Speaker 2: Otherwise cut them out. You don't need what This was
Speaker 2: a sort of friend no one rs VP to one
Speaker 2: event and then.
Speaker 3: I still feel like maybe you still go at this
Speaker 3: point because you're like, well, one last hurrah before I
Speaker 3: cut this person out, because I would want to get
Speaker 3: eyes on this.
Speaker 2: You want to see what's happening and what this thing
Speaker 2: is not going to go, according to Planet hasn't from
Speaker 2: the very beginning.
Speaker 3: And then i'd sort of remove them from my life.
Speaker 3: And when like two years later, they're like, I haven't
Speaker 3: heard from you ever. Did something happen? I go, absolutely,
Speaker 3: absolutely something did.
Speaker 2: Just forward the RSVP back to them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, all familiar, all three. Yeah, you flooded. My
Speaker 3: email flooded. I think that's my computer was smoking. My
Speaker 3: computer was smoking. I have a Gateway two thousand desktop
Speaker 3: and it couldn't handle all of these emails. I just
Speaker 3: wrote Tom Cruise's biography. I just wrote, but I was
Speaker 3: up late all night working on Tom Cruise and I
Speaker 3: didn't save save my work and your email came in
Speaker 3: and my Way two thousand and started smoking, and I
Speaker 3: lost it and Tom had to write it himself, and
Speaker 3: he had been eating cake, of course.
Speaker 2: So okay, So just to clear up, show up in
Speaker 2: full Hollywood prothetics, some sort of horrible monster on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: Just sit back and watch it all in bold, Watch
Speaker 2: her leave screaming, not because of your costume, but because
Speaker 2: this guy is a dud. Then go radio silent on her,
Speaker 2: maybe change your phone number, wait for her to reach out,
Speaker 2: and then throw it back in her face. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: the perfect plan, perfect Carinn. Your friend has pushed all
Speaker 2: of us too far. I'm glad we answered this too late.
Speaker 2: To be honest, absolutely, I think that she needed to
Speaker 2: take her own energy to this thing that which was confusion.
Speaker 2: Perfect We answered it perfectly. I now have three different tops.
Speaker 2: I could wear these, you know, for weeks, you know,
Speaker 2: just cycling.
Speaker 3: So that's a party in La all right, three different tops.
Speaker 3: Sounds like a Friday night for Bridge or don't it?
Speaker 3: Anyway you were saying, I was saying, Josharpteda dot com
Speaker 3: dud's thank you at last last you show me.
Speaker 2: Someone had to say it on this podcast.
Speaker 3: Someone had to say it on this podcast. It would
Speaker 3: have been then it wouldn't be made. That would be tacky.
Speaker 2: And this is the promo podcast. People come here, they're like,
Speaker 2: what will be? What am I going to get plugged?
Speaker 2: And I had to give them. You know, I teased
Speaker 2: it throughout and I'm giving it. I get the listener
Speaker 2: what they beg for, Josh, I've had a lovely time
Speaker 2: with you here.
Speaker 3: Is well, thank you for having me here in your
Speaker 3: gorgeous home.
Speaker 2: Of course, anytime and listener the podcast is over. I
Speaker 2: feel a little bit of a sneeze coming on. But
Speaker 2: now that I've said it, it's no longer coming on,
Speaker 2: which is wow. I overcame it. The podcast is over,
Speaker 2: so you have to do something else. I love you, goodbye,
Speaker 2: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our
Speaker 2: senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are
Speaker 2: beautifully mixed by Ben Toliday. The theme song is by
Speaker 2: miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without
Speaker 2: our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on
Speaker 2: Instagram at I said No Gifts, That's where you're going
Speaker 2: to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting.
Speaker 3: And don't you want to see the gifts line? Why
Speaker 3: did you hear?
Speaker 1: Thought a man myself perfectly clear?
Speaker 2: But you're a guest to me.
Speaker 3: You gotta come to me empty, And.
Speaker 1: I said, no guests, your presences, presents, and I already
Speaker 1: too much stuff. So how do you dad to surbey me?
Speaker 1: Became with them