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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

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Speaker 2: This is John the og story Time podcast host. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 3: a little house.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, my girlfriend is making me choose between her

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Speaker 4: and my pregnant daughter.

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Speaker 1: Ah, it's totally reasonable, perfectly good thing to ask.

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Speaker 4: Ugh, I forty mail have an eighteen year old daughter

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Speaker 4: with an X of mine. We'll call her Maddie. We

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Speaker 4: divorced when she was seven, so I'll have her three

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Speaker 4: weekends a month. Her mom moved to a suburb almost

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Speaker 4: an hour outside of the city to be closer with

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Speaker 4: her family and for a better school. My work was

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Speaker 4: in the city, and after a while Maddie got sick

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Speaker 4: of all the driving and asked if we could go

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Speaker 4: to a different schedule. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 4: cramping my style. And if you want to smit your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash ok stories I'm

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Speaker 4: selling reread. My name is Riley, I'm Angie, and I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 4: and Op says. We talk most days on the phone,

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Speaker 4: and I've been very involved in her life. She's a

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Speaker 4: great student, graduate with over a four point h has

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Speaker 4: a lot of friends and a very nice boyfriend. She

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Speaker 4: has no idea what she wants to do with her

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Speaker 4: life and has already decided to defer her scholarship to

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Speaker 4: a year to take classes at the community college and work.

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Speaker 4: I also have a girlfriend, Vera, thirty seven female, and

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Speaker 4: she gets along great with Maddie. We've been together about

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Speaker 4: two years, and she just moved into my house a

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Speaker 4: few months ago. Her roommate got married and she couldn't

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Speaker 4: afford rent alone. So we've been together almost two years

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Speaker 4: and I was considering proposing, so it seems like a

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Speaker 4: good idea. She pays the electric and water bills, but

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Speaker 4: my house is paid off, so I just paid taxes, insurance,

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Speaker 4: and other utilities. It's been great. I didn't really date

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Speaker 4: much the past few years between Mattie and work, so

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Speaker 4: it's been nice having someone always around. Vera doesn't want

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Speaker 4: kids of her own, and I don't want anymore, so

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Speaker 4: it works out well. So for all that Maddie is

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Speaker 4: pregnant and her mom has punted her out, her boyfriend

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Speaker 4: has another year left of nursing school and lives in

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Speaker 4: a college apartment with roommates. She is of course staying

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Speaker 4: here for now, and found out late she's due in January.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'm just hoping the boyfriend comes a

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Speaker 4: nurse and then she gets pregnant or no, no, she gives

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Speaker 4: birth and like they're in a car and then he

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Speaker 4: was able to handle it. He knows how to handle ita.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, if she's doing January,

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Speaker 1: I mean he's probably done in the spring.

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Speaker 4: So ah, yeah, three months too late.

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Speaker 1: But yaikes, dude, her mom kicked her out for that.

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Speaker 1: Oh also too like she might not be able to

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Speaker 1: stay at the college housing with him if it's like

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Speaker 1: not a co ed thing or you know.

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Speaker 4: Well, I don't know, think about a college apartment and well,

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Speaker 4: you're pregnant and he has roommates that are also in

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Speaker 4: college that are guys.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean?

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to do that, like as a woman

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Speaker 4: that is pregnant being in an apartment with college dudes.

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Speaker 1: Heck, no, you're not doing that. No, Dakota, are you

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Speaker 1: doing that as a woman.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna try to not for sure, but I thought

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Speaker 5: it was really funny how when you said that, it

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Speaker 5: sounded you like you were like as a woman who's

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Speaker 5: pregnant in a college.

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Speaker 4: She and her boyfriend went over the options and decided

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Speaker 4: to keep the baby. She told me very meekly and

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Speaker 4: asked if she could stay. Oh can I stay? I

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Speaker 4: told her, of course. She knows this is disappointing, but

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Speaker 4: she'll never stop being my baby, and if this is

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Speaker 4: what's gonna happen, I'm here to support her within reason

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Speaker 4: as an unfine babysitting if she has work or class,

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Speaker 4: and she will keep working and going to school. But

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Speaker 4: I'm not babysitting for her to party or hang out

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Speaker 4: with friends. If the boyfriend bells, which I was as

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Speaker 4: kind as I could be, but told her it even

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Speaker 4: happens with the nicest boys, she would need a file

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Speaker 4: for child support, and I would give her grace before

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Speaker 4: and after birth, but when she's recovered, she will go

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Speaker 4: back to doing chores on top of eighty Once this

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Speaker 4: seems like a pretty nice little thing going on here.

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Speaker 1: Obviously, you know, with details like we'll see how that

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Speaker 1: plays out and stuff, but that is nice that like,

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Speaker 1: at least he's aware that you know, she would have

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Speaker 1: to recover, which takes a long time. That before you know, taking.

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Speaker 2: How long I don't know.

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Speaker 4: You don't remember. You don't remember the real you sent me?

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Speaker 1: Did I send you a real Yeah? I don't remember

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Speaker 1: what it was saying, but it was saying that, like,

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Speaker 1: the wound left inside of you is like, is like

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Speaker 1: a twenty five centimeter diameter or something, and if that

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Speaker 1: was any the guy was saying, like, if that was

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Speaker 1: anywhere else on the body, people would consider it a

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Speaker 1: major wound. But of course, because it's you know, women,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's about pregnancy, people haven't really considered it

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Speaker 1: like that very much.

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Speaker 4: But anyway, I told her and the boyfriend to sleep

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Speaker 4: on it, and they came back with actual thoughtful responses

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Speaker 4: and even a budget and budget goal that I found impressive. Dude, Okay,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna hopefully this doesn't turn on me, But this couple,

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Speaker 4: the way they're handling it and the way they're going

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Speaker 4: about it, I think that they're gonna floorish having this

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Speaker 4: good around.

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Speaker 1: They seem like they're going about it well. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's smart that the dad is like, yeah, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we'll think about options just in case he does drop

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Speaker 1: the ball. But I mean it seems like he's taking

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Speaker 1: good care of her, so far yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and he's going to nursing school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah eventually after all the debt.

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Speaker 4: The tiny bedroom next to Maddie's is currently home to

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Speaker 4: a treadmill I never use and is going to be

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Speaker 4: a nursery. Of course, I keep Vera in the loop

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Speaker 4: during all this. Vera and I have discussed all of

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Speaker 4: this before I talked to the kids in depth. I

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Speaker 4: made her very aware that the three of them could

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Speaker 4: end up living here for a few years. She was

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Speaker 4: supportive initially, but when them living here became the plan,

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Speaker 4: she gave me an ultimatum and told me to pump

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Speaker 4: my daughter out because she's an adult.

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Speaker 1: What Birah.

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Speaker 4: She got upset and said if she wanted to raise

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Speaker 4: a baby, she would have one of her own. She

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Speaker 4: said she didn't sign up for this and is not

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Speaker 4: okay with it, and demanded I resigned the offer, that

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Speaker 4: Mattie's eighteen and she needs to figure it out on

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Speaker 4: her own if she wants to keep the baby. I

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Speaker 4: told her I wouldn't do that. She's always been my

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Speaker 4: daughter and needs help. She threatened to move out if

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Speaker 4: I didn't tell Maddie to get out, and then got

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Speaker 4: mad that I told her I understood. Now she's avoiding

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Speaker 4: both us but still staying here or being snippy. I

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Speaker 4: don't know what she expects me to do, but it's

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Speaker 4: making the entire house anxious. This is Mattie's home, She's

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Speaker 4: always lived here. The rest is a surprise. But my

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Speaker 4: daughter is living in her home. Do you have any

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Speaker 4: advice coming?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 4: One says, say goodbye to this relationship. Reply hope. He

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Speaker 4: already said he chose his daughter over his girlfriend with

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Speaker 4: a girlfriend who was supposedly ready to leave as is

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Speaker 4: nowhere to go and can't afford to live independently. So

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Speaker 4: she's just angry that her ultimatum didn't work while still

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Speaker 4: living with Opy.

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Speaker 1: What She's an adult, she can figure it out in

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Speaker 1: her row, Like what this was? She's telling the daughter

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Speaker 1: who's eighteen and is literally having a child.

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Speaker 4: There we go, there we go.

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Speaker 2: So insane.

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Speaker 4: This woman Vera has two options. One to do the

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Speaker 4: same advice she told Maddie to do, yeah, or two

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Speaker 4: to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness to

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Speaker 4: Maddie and say I'm so sorry. I don't know where

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Speaker 4: I came from.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: I'd be so happy to take care of your child

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Speaker 1: with you.

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Speaker 4: I think you might need to say, yeah, you're an adult.

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Speaker 1: Like sorry, but what's the difference. What's the difference?

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Speaker 4: We got an update who My last post got a

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Speaker 4: little overwhelming, but I'm still glad I did it. Reading

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Speaker 4: the comments, I just got to the point I was like,

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Speaker 4: what am I doing? As Vera to talk. She actually

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Speaker 4: did kind of apologize, said she was just stressed because

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Speaker 4: she expected Maddie to either keep the same custody schedule

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Speaker 4: or maybe a bit more, but not full time and

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Speaker 4: certainly not with the baby. Interesting, and then she didn't

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Speaker 4: think I'd actually let her live here with the baby.

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Speaker 4: She said she'd be able to work with the compromise

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Speaker 4: of Maddie and the boyfriend let's call him Doug, getting

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Speaker 4: their own place when they started working full time, and

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Speaker 4: they could promise to never ask her for help. I

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Speaker 4: guess she thought as long as she has an end insight,

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Speaker 4: she would be able to handle it. Hmm, Okay, I

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Speaker 4: kind of understand that, but again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like the way she's going about it.

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Speaker 1: You neither like, as long as you agree that eventually

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Speaker 1: once you get out of here, I never have to

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Speaker 1: help you ever. Yeah, it's like, girl, it's not your child.

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Speaker 1: You're not having a child. If you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be around children, like, maybe consider the fact that someone

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Speaker 1: you're dating who has a kid is gonna have grandchildren

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Speaker 1: that you'll have to help out with.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, huh. I told her I understood, but her behavior

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Speaker 4: was out of line and I can't see us working

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Speaker 4: out after this. She was upset and seemed shocked. Got

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Speaker 4: pretty mad. I told her she was woking to stay

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Speaker 4: in the basement, which is finished with a walkout and

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Speaker 4: a kitchenette oh for a month while she found a

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Speaker 4: new place. I'd pay her back for the bills she

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Speaker 4: paid a rounded up to a grant. She wasn't happy

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Speaker 4: about any of this and was freaking out. So I

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Speaker 4: called and asked Mattie if she could stay with Doug

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Speaker 4: for the night. I offered to give Vera some space,

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Speaker 4: and she told me to f off.

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Speaker 1: Well, great, I will, because I'll be giving you space.

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Speaker 4: I was working from home that day, so I was

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Speaker 4: around but not in her way at all while she

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Speaker 4: moved her things downstairs. She had work that night and

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Speaker 4: let me know the next morning she'd be moving to

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Speaker 4: her friends. I offered a help, but again she'd said

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Speaker 4: no and left her key on the calendar. I changed

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Speaker 4: the security code but told her if she left anything there,

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Speaker 4: just to let me know and I'd let her come by.

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Speaker 4: I was actually sad, but felt better about the whole thing.

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Speaker 4: We can't prove anything, but Maddie's carnivorous plants started rapidly

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Speaker 4: passing away the last few days, and she said a

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Speaker 4: bunch of her concentrated fertilizer was gone. We all know

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Speaker 4: not to touch them or water them. She's devastated and

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Speaker 4: hasn't said it directly, but we both think Vera had

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Speaker 4: something to do with it. I've asked her if she

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Speaker 4: wants me to do anything about it, and she said no.

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Speaker 4: At one point, Vera sent her a nasty text saying

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Speaker 4: she's the reason I'm alone, and she hopes she's happy.

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Speaker 4: I told her a blocer. I don't know she feels

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Speaker 4: guilty or like she deserves it. She doesn't even want

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Speaker 4: me to replace them, and said she'll just try to

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Speaker 4: salvage some of them. So if anyone knows good sights

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Speaker 4: in the US to buy pictures or pings, hit me up.

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Speaker 4: Did Vera go too far?

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Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, as she's stupid. It's just revenge is stupid, guys,

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Speaker 1: It's just silly goose stupid. Because if you like, if

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Speaker 1: you are so.

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Speaker 7: Like distraught about oh my gosh, my boy bringing up

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Speaker 7: with me, oh my gosh, if you actually want him

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Speaker 7: to like change his mind, be a good person and

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Speaker 7: don't try to then just like burn that bridge, you know,

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Speaker 7: Like it's just it's stupid.

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Speaker 1: It's just stupid, and like, what the F you know

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Speaker 1: it is? It's really it's embarrassing.

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Speaker 4: I see where Maddie's coming from. She's like, Okay, this

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Speaker 4: is what happened. I'm not gonna fight back. I'm just

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Speaker 4: gonna let it happen. Yeah, that's that's pretty smart. Absolutely nothing.

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Speaker 4: But it still sucks.

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Speaker 1: So that's what that's just what you should Just leave

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Speaker 1: it alone.

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Speaker 2: Okay, live it alone.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna finish this one up. So not great. I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna stay single for a while, obviously, But there's some

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Speaker 4: good news. I have a female friend whom Maddie has

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Speaker 4: known forever and has had kids, and she took her

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Speaker 4: out to lunch. My issue was Maddie thought she could

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Speaker 4: power through and take courses in this spring with a newborn.

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Speaker 4: She wouldn't listen to me and told her she'd make

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Speaker 4: it work. My friend was able to convince her that

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Speaker 4: one semester wasn't going to ruin her life, So that

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Speaker 4: is a positive. And the boyfriend, Doug, I talked with

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Speaker 4: his parents. They're like me, not thrilled, but going to

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Speaker 4: be supportive and excited for a grand baby. They live

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Speaker 4: over an hour away, though, but I told them I

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Speaker 4: had a spare room they could use when they visit.

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Speaker 4: And Doug, who does work part time while he's in school,

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Speaker 4: I told him, yes, worked this semester, but next semester,

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Speaker 4: your number one job is to finish your degree, no

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Speaker 4: matter what. I'm willing to support them, both financially and

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Speaker 4: with the baby more than I normally would next semester,

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Speaker 4: because I know the best way to ensure my grain

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Speaker 4: baby has a good life is making sure their dad

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Speaker 4: has his degree and a good job. Ah, you were

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Speaker 4: too good for this world. Yeah, Oh my gosh, we

264
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Speaker 4: need more people like you. Oh my gosh. Yeah, he

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Speaker 4: seemed to understand and was thankful. Maybe he's not as

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Speaker 4: much of a ding dong as I thought he was.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I refuse to give my brother's mom money because

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Speaker 1: I'm sure where it would go.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure it would go to the wrong place.

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Speaker 1: And this comes directly from the r slash okay storytime sepreddit.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me if you're here, sound off and we have

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00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,160
Speaker 1: follow up questions or we will yes shah and trigger warning.

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Speaker 1: This doesn't mention substance use disorder. So my forty brother

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Speaker 1: seventeen lives with his mom, who is not my mom

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Speaker 1: but my dad's second wife. I'm not a big fan

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Speaker 1: of his mom, but I try to be nice for

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Speaker 1: my brother's sake. I also tried for dad's sake when

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Speaker 1: he was alive. My dad was never in my life

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Speaker 1: growing up. He had serious issues with boos and substances

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Speaker 1: that led to many many troubles. By the way, this

281
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,640
Speaker 1: comes from a super Penguin noodle And if you want

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00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,520
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

283
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:57,199
Speaker 1: okay storytime sepreddit And I'm Angie, I'm Dakota, and I'm Riley,

284
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Speaker 1: and Opie says, about five to six years ago, my

285
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,120
Speaker 1: dad was diagnosed with liver failure. He needed a new liver,

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Speaker 1: but his doctor required him to completely give up booze

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Speaker 1: before he would put him on the transplant list. My

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00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,199
Speaker 1: dad tried numerous times to quit, even after the diagnosis,

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Speaker 1: but his wife would get upset because she wanted to

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Speaker 1: drink and it wasn't fair that she couldn't.

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Speaker 5: Oh bye bye, no sane, that's insane even to get

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Speaker 5: on the transplant list. She's like, but when I were

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Speaker 5: gonna new I wanted to drink backs wine.

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Speaker 1: Hey listen, hey listen, this might unlive me. Dude, And

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Speaker 1: you are upset because you don't want to drink. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to not drink. My dad passed away a

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Speaker 1: little over four years ago. My little brother was there

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Speaker 1: in the room with Dad when he passed away. I

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00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,880
Speaker 1: know this was difficult for my brother. About six months

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Speaker 1: after Dad passed away, I went to visit them for Christmas.

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00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,920
Speaker 1: I called on the way and told them that I

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00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,320
Speaker 1: was coming. When we got there, I heard her say,

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00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,480
Speaker 1: while I was at the door, your sister's here. I

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00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 1: rolled my eyes and gave my husband a look. He

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00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,680
Speaker 1: knew that I was already ready to go, but didn't

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00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,800
Speaker 1: want to be rude. We stayed a few minutes, but

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00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,080
Speaker 1: the house seemed disorganized and chaotic. Fast forward about a

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00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 1: year ago, my brother's mom had him call me to

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Speaker 1: see if they could borrow some money until they got

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Speaker 1: his benefits from my dad money from the state. I

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00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,000
Speaker 1: think it was for a payday loan or something. I

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00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,800
Speaker 1: talked to my dad and said to just give the

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Speaker 1: money he needed without him having to pay us back.

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Speaker 1: But I let him know that we might not be

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00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 1: able to help next time, so they need to use

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00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 1: this to help get them out of a hole, and

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00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,440
Speaker 1: to try not to use paiday loans anymore, as they

318
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,600
Speaker 1: are hard to get out of once you're in them.

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Speaker 1: I heard nothing from them for almost a year. I

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00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,120
Speaker 1: decided to go there on Father's Day as it was

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00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 1: probably hard for them both. I gave them plenty of

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Speaker 1: notice this time. When we arrived, my brother, who is

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Speaker 1: now seventeen, seemed unwell. My husband noticed this too without

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00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 1: me mentioning it, so it wasn't just me seeing it.

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00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 1: My little brother was having trouble at school and there

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00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 1: were some concerns, so his mom just I did to

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Speaker 1: homeschool him. When he was sixteen, he went to work

328
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 1: but ended up getting let go for attendance issues. Last week,

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00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,080
Speaker 1: his mom sent me a string of confusing messages telling

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Speaker 1: me that my brother is anorexic and not doing well.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, it did not make sense, so I asked

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00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,000
Speaker 1: what she was talking about. She went on and still

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00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,640
Speaker 1: didn't make sense. She ended a long message about how

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00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,160
Speaker 1: I don't have to care about her son, which contained

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00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 1: no punctuation with the word respect. It didn't make sense

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Speaker 1: in the context of what she was saying, so I

337
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,680
Speaker 1: don't know if it was a mistake or if she

338
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Speaker 1: was saying that I don't have to care about her son,

339
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 1: but I will show her respect. She is less than

340
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,520
Speaker 1: ten years older than me and was married to my

341
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,760
Speaker 1: dad for less than five years, not part of my

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00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,760
Speaker 1: childhood at all, So had she said that I needed

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00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,280
Speaker 1: to show her respect, it would have been a problem

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Speaker 1: for me. Still trying to not jump to conclusions, I

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00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 1: asked if she was using speech to text, thinking that

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00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 1: maybe I was misunderstanding she is disabled and has trouble

347
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Speaker 1: communicating at times. She went on about how she's not

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Speaker 1: going to message me anymore, that I would want to

349
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 1: know that my brother is very sick. And Struggling trying

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00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,680
Speaker 1: to figure out what was going on, I finally asked

351
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Speaker 1: if she had been drinking, as her messages were so incoherent,

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00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,720
Speaker 1: Just To be clear, I did not call her a

353
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Speaker 1: bad mom or a heavy drinker. I just asked if

354
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,959
Speaker 1: she was drinking, trying to figure out if a doctor

355
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,480
Speaker 1: said that he was seriously ill, or if that's where

356
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,679
Speaker 1: her mind went. She got upset, saying, why would I

357
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Speaker 1: say something like that when her son is so sick?

358
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Speaker 2: Ah, there's the guilt.

359
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would.

360
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 2: I would say that because you're clearly drunk seeing me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Like, so is he really anorexic? Or are you not

363
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 2: feeding him?

364
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? Ooh. I messaged my little brother and told him

365
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Speaker 1: that I loved him and that I'm here if he

366
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,840
Speaker 1: needs anything. Just now, just before midnight, my brother texted

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Speaker 1: me to ask me to help out with some money

368
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 1: for food. Now, we are kind of struggling right now,

369
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,320
Speaker 1: but technically could put a little on a credit card.

370
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. My brother's mom is permanently disabled

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00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 1: and gets a check every month. Her disability was from birth,

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00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,080
Speaker 1: so no chance of it being canceled. My brother gets

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Speaker 1: to check every month from the state and will go

374
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,680
Speaker 1: until he's eighteen, which as soon they get food stamps.

375
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 1: They live with her dad, who owns his house, so

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00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: I know that they don't pay rent. They very likely

377
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 1: get more money in a month than we do, but

378
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 1: they seem to have trouble managing their finances. I feel

379
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 1: like we can see where this.

380
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 2: Is going because the drinking problem is expensive.

381
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, absolutely so maybe you're right, maybe maybe

382
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,200
Speaker 1: she's not feeding him then.

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00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think the only solution to this is that

384
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 5: you have to just give them.

385
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 2: Groceries yourself or rather than money, or.

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00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,120
Speaker 5: Have them like you know, like get on an app

387
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,879
Speaker 5: or something where they can like order groceries from wherever

388
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 5: they're going to get it and say, hmm, you can

389
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 5: spend this much money, like you know, order the groceries. Yeah,

390
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,240
Speaker 5: and that's that.

391
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,159
Speaker 2: No cash, no cash money.

392
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,400
Speaker 1: Absolutely so. I asked my brother if they still get

393
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,679
Speaker 1: food stamps. He said yes, but they're almost out, as

394
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 1: in they still have some left. I don't know how

395
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,239
Speaker 1: much they have left when they get more, when they

396
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,639
Speaker 1: get paid, or any of that. Honestly, I don't know

397
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 1: if he's even anarexic or if there are other issues

398
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 1: going on. By the way, we live an hour away,

399
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 1: so while taking him food is an option, it would

400
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,959
Speaker 1: not be an easy option. Also, I have kids, and

401
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 1: we pay child support for my step son, So we

402
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,400
Speaker 1: don't just have money to give away with this situation,

403
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 1: I can't just send money in the middle of the night.

404
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,159
Speaker 1: I told him that I would have to ask my husband.

405
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of torn. I have no intentions of

406
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 1: handing money over to them directly, But am I the

407
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 1: a hole for not just helping with whatever? There are

408
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:40,679
Speaker 1: some comments, but what would you say in this Well.

409
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 2: I think the groceries app is your friend.

410
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 5: The grocery store apps are your friend, depending on where

411
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 5: you're at. Exactly what I said about that is really yeah,

412
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 5: because oh, I have to say, right, because like delivery

413
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 5: can be expensive.

414
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it's like if you don't

415
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 1: really trust that they'll get use the money for food, yeah,

416
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 1: because if they do have foods stamps, they should be

417
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 1: getting money in from the state. But you know that

418
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 1: could be you know, spent towards drinking and and booze

419
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 1: and stuff. Then like they should still be able to

420
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 1: use the food stamps. So I don't know, I don't know.

421
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,399
Speaker 1: We've had stories before where people ask to borrow money

422
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,239
Speaker 1: for like really reasonable things and then they were just

423
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 1: like going out and partying with the money.

424
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was like just the other week, I need

425
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 4: to feed my baby baby, so we're not going out.

426
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 2: Imagine.

427
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 5: I can't imagine lying about your baby needing diapers and

428
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 5: then using it to party.

429
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,160
Speaker 1: That's yeah. That was She literally heard them on the phone,

430
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 1: crazy like you know, I'll send the diapers to you,

431
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 1: and then they were like, oh, so we're not going out. Yeah,

432
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:40,919
Speaker 1: it's crazy.

433
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,880
Speaker 4: She got mad that she got send diapers.

434
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 1: We do have some more comments here so coming. Number

435
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 1: one says. I wouldn't give them any money, but you

436
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: could take a food care package over. You'll soon find

437
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,879
Speaker 1: out by their reaction to it if they genuinely need food.

438
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 1: My younger half sister was like this years ago. She

439
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: had a baby in her teens, and I'd get a

440
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 1: lot of messages saying that she had no money for

441
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: food and happies, et cetera. I know that she was

442
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: on benefits because I helped her with paperwork and setting

443
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: them up. So I decided to stop giving her money

444
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: and started doing a small food slash nappies shop for her.

445
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: Her response to it told me everything. She screamed and

446
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 1: swore at me and said that she needed money to

447
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 1: shop for herself and not food handouts. She didn't need food,

448
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: she wanted money to party. Opie responds, that's what I

449
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna do, But it's an hour each way

450
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 1: if there's no traffic, and I won't have time until Tuesday.

451
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 1: It's currently four thirty am on Monday, and I haven't

452
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 1: slept even a second all night because I'm so worried

453
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 1: about the situation. I have to get up in an

454
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 1: hour and a half and then go to work, and

455
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,199
Speaker 1: then no clue how I'm going to be able to function.

456
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 1: I've been laying here and racking my brain trying to

457
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: think of what I can get that can make a difference,

458
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 1: but will fit in only two bags so I don't

459
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: have to make two trips to the door in case

460
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 1: they hear me and come to the door. I have

461
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 1: a feeling that his mom will flip if she sees

462
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 1: me there with food, like I could totally see her

463
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: attacking me. Whoa ew, that's not something I would have guessed.

464
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: Comma number two says Opie. I want to add that

465
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 1: you should call CPS. He needs help, especially considering the

466
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: school was ready to call OPI. He responds to that

467
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: I didn't sleep at all last night, struggling with this

468
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 1: very thing. More than likely they take forever with the paperwork.

469
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: They end up showing up after his birthday and nothing

470
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: is done, but they are made aware of the report.

471
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 1: Then they know it's me and my kids are potentially

472
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: at risk because she's an unstable substance user that makes

473
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 1: his prescription METS for her disability with narcotics and booze.

474
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: I would absolutely be ending any positive relationship that I

475
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 1: could ever have with him in the future, not that

476
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: he can get away from his mom. If by chance

477
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: they get him out in twenty four to forty eight hours,

478
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: he goes into the system for a few days, then

479
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: goes right back to her, and all the same happens.

480
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: It just sucks all around. Number three says, definitely do

481
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 1: not give them cash, because then you might be enabling them.

482
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 1: They could use your kindness in cash for their bad haimes. Yeah,

483
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: there is a little bit more to the story. But

484
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 1: what do you think she should do in this situation.

485
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 5: I think all you can do is just try to

486
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 5: be supportive in what you can, because I think you're right.

487
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 5: They'll probably turn eighteen before CPS can do anything right,

488
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 5: and then that resentment will probably get put on you somehow. Yeah,

489
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 5: And I saw some comments being like, well, why aren't

490
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 5: they like taking them in stuff?

491
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 2: And is Opie's half brother and it's like a.

492
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 5: Twenty three year age gap or something because Ope's forty right,

493
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 5: mm hmm.

494
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 2: So it's just like they're.

495
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 5: Not I mean, yeah, they're relatives, they're related, but they're

496
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,679
Speaker 5: just really not not that close like that, and it

497
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 5: just might not be that good of a I don't know.

498
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 5: I don't think op would know exactly what they're signing

499
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 5: up for with that.

500
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,479
Speaker 1: It's a lot, yeah, I think also too, I mean,

501
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: op you mentioned that they were kind of, you know,

502
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 1: not in the best place financially too, so that might

503
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 1: be difficult for them to do.

504
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, unless that they're able to, like, you know, fully

505
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 5: provide for themselves right and help with like bills or anything,

506
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 5: which could be a conversation down the line.

507
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 2: But I think I think then you should focus on.

508
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 5: Trying to go to school, trying to get a good,

509
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 5: good job, good career.

510
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: Uh huh makes many shelf might want you to be.

511
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, So because I wonder, like I think part of

512
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: her confusion of what to do is like, you know,

513
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: I want to bring money, but I can't do it

514
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: for another day. So in the meantime, like what am

515
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: I supposed to do? I feel like if she kind

516
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: of told them like, oh yeah, okay, no problem, like

517
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 1: I can get you food. I can send food on

518
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: the app or something like that, like say it before

519
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 1: you do it. I then they can have a reaction

520
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 1: to that first, you know what I mean, because then

521
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: and then you kind of get your answer right away.

522
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: But we do have an update. So I talked to

523
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 1: my husband about a lot of stuff this morning and

524
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: he told me what we have in the bank. We

525
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 1: don't have much extra, but can do a small Walmart

526
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: order like you said, Riley called it and send it

527
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 1: to them. I texted him telling him just this and

528
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: asking for his address. If he sends me anything other

529
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: than his address and or a thank you, he won't

530
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: be getting anything.

531
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 2: My mother made wedding preparations miserable and it ruined our relationship.

532
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 4: Ah Man.

533
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 5: Truly, I thirty one female, have uninvited my mother fifty female,

534
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 5: and stepfather forty nine male to my wedding. I have

535
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 5: also gone no contact for the foreseeable future. My stepfather

536
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 5: has been part of my entire life but didn't officially

537
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 5: get with my mom until I was about ten. They

538
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 5: both had some personal struggles when I was younger, but

539
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 5: got clean and became foster parents as I got older.

540
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 5: I had a difficult marriage in my early twenties that

541
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,360
Speaker 5: didn't work out, and I eventually met a person online

542
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 5: in another state and after years of getting to know them,

543
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 5: moved to that state for a fresh start. And by

544
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 5: the way, this comes from user strong Guarantee ninety four

545
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 5: to sixty six. You want to submit your own stories,

546
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

547
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, and I'm Angie and I'm Riley, and op says,

548
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 3: I've lived here since twenty nineteen and have spent all

549
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 3: those years repairing and creating a relationship with my mom.

550
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 5: After I moved, I found out for the second time

551
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 5: in my life that my bio dad wasn't my bio

552
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 5: dad and my true dad lived only three hours from

553
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 5: where I moved. Even finding out my mom had been

554
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,679
Speaker 5: mistaken about this twice didn't break the relationship we had

555
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 5: started building. Fast forward to January twenty twenty four and

556
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 5: my boyfriend proposed to me, exciting My best friend was

557
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 5: also engaged, and we decided to be each other's maid

558
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 5: of honor. We decided to go dress shopping together, but

559
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,360
Speaker 5: my mom hates close shopping with me because I am

560
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 5: plus sized, and my mother never fails to make that

561
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 5: the center of attention. When she made it clear she

562
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 5: wanted to be there for dress shopping, I made it

563
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 5: explicitly clear that there were going.

564
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 2: To be some rules. My best friend's mom was dealing

565
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 2: with a gambling issue at the time, and neither my

566
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 2: best friend nor I wanted that to be an issue

567
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 2: on this occasion, so we agreed casinos.

568
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 5: Were not an option. My mother was informed of this.

569
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 5: She offered to pay for a hotel room for everyone

570
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 5: to share, and was told about the casino restriction. She

571
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 5: was told that if it was an issue, then she

572
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 5: shouldn't come, and she said that it was not. This

573
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 5: was March twenty twenty four. Dress shopping was happening in

574
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 5: August twenty twenty four. From March to August, she was

575
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 5: reminded multiple times, including the night before she got on

576
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 5: her plane. When I picked her up from the airport,

577
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 5: everything seemed fine. My fiance and I brought her to

578
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 5: our wedding venue and took her to see the sites.

579
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 5: She had no complaints at this point. Friday morning, we

580
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 5: left to go shopping. Everything was going good until she

581
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 5: exploded about how people were passing.

582
00:27:59,320 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 2: Me on the right.

583
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 5: I was going seventy six into seventy. She started yelling

584
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 5: at me about how my driving is terrible.

585
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 2: I'd be like, you can always just tuck and roll.

586
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: That bad, I'll pull over, drop you off.

587
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,239
Speaker 5: You can try the good old tuck and roll if

588
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 5: you're gonna be going to like that about it.

589
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: Six miles over the limit though, too. Come on?

590
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 5: Also, who cares if I'm being passed on the right,

591
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 5: I'm going the appropriate speed on the highway.

592
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

593
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 5: She pulled it together and we went to the first

594
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 5: dress shopping appointment. She did well, and then we went

595
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 5: to the hotel to check in. When I went inside,

596
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 5: they were coming down to go to dinner, and she

597
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 5: told me to turn around unless.

598
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 2: I had to pee.

599
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 5: I said I did, and she threw her hands up,

600
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 5: upset and stormed out.

601
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 1: It's only allowed if you bought pea pants. It's only

602
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: allowed us one reason. I won't be bad cheers. If

603
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 1: you have pea pants, you can't go.

604
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 5: Do you got a couple this dinner right now, unless

605
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 5: you're gonna pee your pants like I'm going to pee

606
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 5: my pants my parts like she goes ah. At dinner,

607
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 5: we were talking wedding stuff and I mentioned I didn't

608
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 5: plan to have anyone with me while my hair.

609
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 2: And makeup was done. That would be my quiet time.

610
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 5: My best friend said she didn't count as people, and

611
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 5: she's right, she's someone my anxiety doesn't rise around. But

612
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 5: my mom isn't that kind of person to me. My

613
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 5: mom said she could be there too. I told my mother, no,

614
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 5: this is my quiet time. She lost it and started

615
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 5: crying at the table, left her debit card, and walked

616
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 5: out of the restaurant. I paid for the whole meal

617
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 5: to get out of there. On the way back to

618
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 5: the hotel, I tried explaining that she can still do

619
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 5: all the getting ready moments, but the bulk of the

620
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 5: hair and makeup time will have me and my hairstylist.

621
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 5: She continued to yell and finally said she'd get over it.

622
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 5: I did retort, will you really get over it, though,

623
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 5: or will you pretend to? And every time your real

624
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 5: feelings come out, I'll get to deal with it. And

625
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 5: this set her off again, totally fair to say exactly that, though.

626
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I was great, very honestly to say.

627
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 5: I parked at the hotel and she asked to take

628
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,719
Speaker 5: my car. I hesitated and said that's not my choice.

629
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 5: She said, fine, I'm calling an uber and going to

630
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 5: the casino.

631
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 4: Oohoo.

632
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 2: Of course this was the last straw for me. The

633
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 2: casino was off limits from the beginning.

634
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 5: My best friend's mom heard this and asked for her

635
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 5: daughter's car keys.

636
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 2: And they went off to the casino.

637
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 5: I followed and said, no, if you do this, I'm

638
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 5: going home. This was off the table from the beginning.

639
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 5: She threatened to change her flight and leave good, then

640
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 5: announced she was going to the bar for a drink.

641
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 5: I told her if she leaves, goes to the bar,

642
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 5: or changes her flight, I am done.

643
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 2: She's not coming to the wedding.

644
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 5: This turned her into a bawling, yelling mess about my

645
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 5: ultimatums and controlling her, and how I'm a terrible driver,

646
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 5: and how she's not.

647
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: Going to get the experiences she deserved. She decided to stay.

648
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 5: I stayed outside for an hour and talked to my fiance.

649
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 5: She came back and apologized, saying I'm sorry, You're right,

650
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 5: this is about the weddings. And I should never have

651
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 5: said I was going to the casino. I'll do whatever

652
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 5: you want me to from this point on. About five

653
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 5: minutes later, we got a text that my mom was

654
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 5: packing up and leaving.

655
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: Get out of here, Just go on, get out of here.

656
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm here.

657
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 5: Honestly, It's like, why, why are we even pretending like

658
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 5: she's going to do anything but.

659
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: Just make this a headache exactly, just so let her go.

660
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 5: She five minutes after saying I'll do whatever you want

661
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 5: and I'm sorry, and this is about you and your wedding,

662
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 5: she started whisper yelling that she isn't gonna sleep with

663
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:04,719
Speaker 5: people she doesn't know.

664
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna sleep with these people. I don't even

665
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 2: know these people. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna pack

666
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 2: away step and I'm.

667
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 5: I said, I don't care that you think this is

668
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 5: an ultimatum. This is how it's gonna be if you

669
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 5: leave this trip right now, you are stepping away from

670
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 5: the wedding. She said I was making her do this.

671
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 5: I said, no, I'm not making you do anything. My

672
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 5: fifty year old mother ended up laying on the hotel

673
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 5: room floor, determined to sleep there.

674
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: What that she's pulling toddler moves? Dude, she's to play

675
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: it out of the toddler handbook. Yeah, She's like, well,

676
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just sup right here, and I'm just gonna

677
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 1: I just I guess this will be good enough. Well,

678
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: I hope my back doesn't break from sleeping on the

679
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: floor all day all night. I wish my daughter didn't

680
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: make me sleep on the floor because I because I

681
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: wanted to go home, but I discussed she doesn't want

682
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: to hear because I'm overgoe.

683
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 2: I guess everyone's gonna hear about how my daughter hates

684
00:32:59,320 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 2: me and made me.

685
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 5: Sleep yep, and then she goes, wow, wow, where and

686
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 5: then you try to My mother was being so loud

687
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 5: that the hotel staff asked me three times if they

688
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 5: needed to call the police and if I was safe Saturday.

689
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: She was sour the entire time.

690
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 5: We found our dresses and were so happy, laughing and talking,

691
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 5: and she was sour and didn't even smile. At some

692
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 5: point a joke came up and we were laughing. My

693
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 5: mom got pissed, threw her hands up and stormed out

694
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 5: of the building. Because they're as serious and you shouldn't

695
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 5: be laughing.

696
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 2: We all just watched her leave with shock.

697
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 5: She was changing her flight to leave that night, which

698
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 5: I was fine with because I was done with her. Later,

699
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 5: I found out my mother used an opportunity when my

700
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 5: best friend and I stepped away to yell at my

701
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 5: best friend's mom in public and shame her for being

702
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 5: happy and laughing while dress shopping. My mom went home

703
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 5: and told everyone that I was a crazy bride and

704
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 5: that I was mean to her.

705
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 2: But nothing happened.

706
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 5: Didn't talk for a few weeks, and when she reached out,

707
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 5: she acted like nothing happened. Originally, my fiance and I

708
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 5: set our wedding dates for Thursday, January first, twenty twenty six. However,

709
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 5: in September we found out that my insurance was ending

710
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 5: at the end of October and I would need to

711
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 5: be on his, so we decided to do an elope

712
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 5: Mint ceremony and.

713
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 2: A big old party later. We're having two weddings.

714
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: It's your favorite.

715
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 2: They're doing my technique.

716
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 1: It's your favorite.

717
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 2: They're doing the technique right now.

718
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: Secret wedding, Secret wedding. Coh Yeah, yeah.

719
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 5: I called the venue that only does small Elope Mint ceremonies.

720
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 5: They only had one day available before they closed for

721
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 5: the winter season, Thursday, October tenth, twenty twenty four.

722
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 2: This told me it was meant to be.

723
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 5: It's our original month and day backwards, and still on.

724
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 2: A Thursday, we booked Ito.

725
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 5: My first failed marriage was done in secret and my

726
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 5: parents weren't involved until after this unlived them, and I

727
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 5: owe that I wanted.

728
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,720
Speaker 2: To make this time the complete opposite.

729
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 5: So I called my mom and told her what was

730
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 5: going to happen, and that she is not invited to

731
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 5: this one, but is invited.

732
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: To the big one.

733
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 5: I explained that we need this for us and that

734
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 5: I don't trust her not to have an explosion. She exploded,

735
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 5: went crazy and baled and hung up on me and

736
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 5: had My.

737
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 2: Stepfather called me.

738
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 5: He begged me not to do it, trying to guilt

739
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 5: trip me by saying I'm his only daughter.

740
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 2: I said, let me read you my email to my counselor.

741
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: He listened. He was appalled because he had no idea.

742
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 5: I assumed the email was about everything that had happened

743
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 5: on the mom's trip.

744
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

745
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:53,919
Speaker 5: Uh, previously, I told him I love him and want

746
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 5: my father daughter dance with him I want him walking

747
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 5: me down the aisle. I need to honor my spouse

748
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 5: and myself and this has to be about us first.

749
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 5: He said, Okay, I will make it right with your mom.

750
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 5: This was September twenty twenty four, and I haven't talked

751
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 5: to my stepfather since. In March twenty twenty five, I

752
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 5: booked hotel rooms for my entire wedding party and parents.

753
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 5: I told my mom and she got mad because she

754
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 5: wanted to get a hotel two hours away from the

755
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 5: wedding venue and drive to it the morning of.

756
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: That's stupid.

757
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: No, we don't do a.

758
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 5: Two hour commute before the wedding ceremony for no reason.

759
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 5: Why you can come back and stay at this hotel later, Because.

760
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: You know she would also literally like like weddings at one,

761
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,399
Speaker 1: she's leaving right at eleven, you know what I mean.

762
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 1: Like she's she's not you know, trying to get there early.

763
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 1: She's not accounting for any sort of traffic or anything

764
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,840
Speaker 1: like that. She's leaving at the last minute.

765
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 2: She's gonna just another vector for her to ruin things.

766
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

767
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 5: In April twenty twenty five, I had to put my

768
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,959
Speaker 5: emotional support cat down and begged my stepfather to talk

769
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 5: to me because I just wanted his voice while I

770
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 5: was so sad, he didn't even open my message. In

771
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,240
Speaker 5: May twenty twenty five, I graduated with my associate's degree

772
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 5: and sent pictures and texts, and he ignored that too.

773
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 5: I sent a long text to both of them saying

774
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 5: that I get that my actions hurt them, but I

775
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 5: had to choose myself and my partner. I pointed out

776
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 5: that while I'm an adult, I'm also their child and

777
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 5: I am doing the parenting. I do not deserve to

778
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 5: be ignored by my stepfather, and I don't deserve to

779
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 5: have my mother ostracizing me because she won't own up

780
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 5: to her own actions. In June twenty twenty five, we

781
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 5: traveled there for my sister's graduation. My stepfather proceeded to

782
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 5: ignore me to the point you would think I was invisible.

783
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 5: It was rude and obvious to everyone there for my sister.

784
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 5: Sunday was her grad party, and he would get up

785
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 5: and leave the area when I walked in the room.

786
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 5: During this time, at the grad party, I learned that

787
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 5: my bio dad has pictures of me as a toddler.

788
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 2: She asked him.

789
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 5: For pregnancy termination money. She knew who my father was,

790
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 5: she just doesn't want to upset her husband. Yeah, just

791
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 5: leave these people alone. I don't care what they are

792
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:21,399
Speaker 5: to you, get away from them. In July twenty twenty five,

793
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 5: I mentioned coordinating buying tickets and she said, my stepfather

794
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 5: isn't coming. He's mad at me for being mean to

795
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 5: my mom. He is defending his wife.

796
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 2: I lost it.

797
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,360
Speaker 5: I said, well, since he isn't acting like my dad anymore,

798
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,800
Speaker 5: he can just be his name and not worry about

799
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 5: any fatherly duties since he's decided not to do them anyway.

800
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 5: I also said this is because of her and her lies.

801
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 5: She hung up and we haven't talked since I bought

802
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 5: my siblings tickets and they are coming. This has finalized

803
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 5: my decision to go no contact and to uninvite them

804
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 5: from my wedding. I will be open to building a

805
00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 5: relationship and even having them at the wedding if they

806
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 5: will acknowledge their part in all of this and accept

807
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 5: that it has had a profound impact on me and

808
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 5: my decisions and apologize for their part in all of this.

809
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 5: I will and have done the same. I know I'm

810
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 5: not perfect. I tried very hard not to say the

811
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 5: wrong things, but I'm not perfect. I'm more than willing

812
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 5: to own up to anything that they think I haven't

813
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:23,919
Speaker 5: owned up to yet.

814
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:28,280
Speaker 2: I will apologize and honestly work to fix those things.

815
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 2: I just want the same in return. Am I the

816
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: A whole? Nope?

817
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 5: No, Uh that was extremely eloquent. Exactly what you just said. Yeah,

818
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 5: is all true.

819
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 2: You're not the A whole. You're not perfect. Yeah.

820
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like if you're ever just wanting the same,

821
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: like proper treatment in return, you're never the A hole

822
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 1: for that.

823
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, like never, not at all. Hey, y'all, it's John

824
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 2: og Host here.

825
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

826
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 5: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

827
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 1: My friend committed hip of violation against me. Now I

828
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 1: want to report her. That's illegal. I twenty three female

829
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: blocked my longtime friend Alice, twenty three female of ten

830
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: years after she used her work computer to look up

831
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: my health insurance information without my consent. That's illegal. The

832
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 1: worst part is she took a photo of it, sent

833
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 1: it through messages which her boyfriend of one year has

834
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: access to. That's illegal. By the way, this comes from

835
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: Sensitive Donuts seven twenty, and you can submit your own

836
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: stories to the hour slash Okay storytime subreddit. And I'm Angie,

837
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, and Opie says, for some context, from my

838
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: point of view, her boyfriend is leeching off of her.

839
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 1: She's spent thousands of dollars on dates, including a motorcycle

840
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 1: that was imbounded by police because he didn't bother getting

841
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,399
Speaker 1: his license or permit. Huh, that's crazy. He has used

842
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: her credit card to buy substances, has driven her car

843
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 1: while intoxicated, and uses everything she owns, including her laptop

844
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: that he uses to read all of her private conversation.

845
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: What get rid of this guy? I fear he is

846
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: isolating her from everyone around her, and it's working. When

847
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: I saw the photo, she laughed it off, and I

848
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: was scared but pissed. I'd be like, up, sorry, why

849
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: do you have this?

850
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah? What for?

851
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 1: What's the reason that I'd be like, Oh, wait, this

852
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: come from right, that's my personal huh, medical information?

853
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 6: How'd you get that?

854
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 1: I asked her why she would do that, and she

855
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,439
Speaker 1: said that she was just curious. I asked her how

856
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 1: stupid she could be and not knowing what hippa was

857
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: if she works at a doctor's clinic. She never responded

858
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,319
Speaker 1: and left me on red. I assume to run to

859
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 1: our other friend, Bella, no real apology or accountability. After

860
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: two weeks, I blocked her. I confided in Bella and

861
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: Clara about the situation. Clara was incredibly understanding, not understanding

862
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 1: what possessed Alice to do this. Bella, on the other hand,

863
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: loves to play devil's advocate and has always had animosity

864
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: towards me. Bella said that Alice only had good intentions

865
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: and that she was only being quote playful and trying

866
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: to connect with me as a friend.

867
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 6: What were the intent I literally if Ella said that

868
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 6: to me, I mean, what are the intentions?

869
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: Because it wasn't even like it was sent to ope, No,

870
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: it was it.

871
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 6: Was had that information. What was she gonna do. She

872
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 6: gonna be like, oh, yeah, I really wanted to connect

873
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,879
Speaker 6: with you, and like they're hanging out one day. It's

874
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 6: just like, yeah, I just love that you have a

875
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 6: type oh right blood blood like that.

876
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: I just really wanted to get to know you and

877
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 1: get to know I just think.

878
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 6: It's crazy that your family has a history of diabetes. Right, Wow,

879
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 6: that's know what you do? How is Bella? I literally

880
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 6: would drop both of these people. I'd be like, how

881
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 6: do you not see that? That is insane?

882
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 1: But found bs and explained that if Alice wanted to

883
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: connect with me, and she could have been an adult

884
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: and communicated with me, asking for permission before risking her job,

885
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: committing a hip a violation, and possibly leaking my information.

886
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 6: Again, that's not even a type of thing that you

887
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 6: should be asking permission for. Like it should never.

888
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like why no, Like the answer is always

889
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: know right.

890
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 6: You're not my doctor, I'm not giving you permission like

891
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 6: you that should never Like he's like she should have no,

892
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 6: she shouldn't have even asked, right, should never come up?

893
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: I told Bella, what if my social Security number was

894
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: on there? What if Alice's boyfriend saw it as an

895
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 1: opportunity to take credit cards out in my name? Days past?

896
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 1: And Bella wants to hang out? I agree, but informed

897
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: her that I had blocked Alice and that we were

898
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,280
Speaker 1: no longer friends. I told her that she and Clara

899
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: were welcome to stay friends with Alice, but that I

900
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: wanted to hang out separately. Bella leaves me on red

901
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: and doesn't reply.

902
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 2: For days.

903
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: When she does, she responds along the lines of I'm sorry.

904
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: I thought I hurt you, but that if you don't

905
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,479
Speaker 1: want my opinion, you should have said so, and next

906
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: time I'll keep it to myself. Your opinion was dumb.

907
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: Please keep it to yourself. It's clear we both have

908
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 1: very different opinions about things.

909
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 6: Clearly you have a dumb opinion. Yeah, what you have

910
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 6: opinions that are illegal?

911
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It felt like she was pushing

912
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: the blame back to me instead of taking accountability. This week,

913
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: Clara and I were supposed to hang out. She flaked

914
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 1: the first day, claiming that she took an extra shift,

915
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 1: but then ghosted me completely the second time. After a

916
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 1: few days, she apologized and asked if I'm free this

917
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: weekend and I said, dependens. Have you heard from Bella?

918
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: And she replied, yeah, I went out with her yesterday.

919
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: Why did you want to do something with all of

920
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: us together? I realized that Bella, who mentioned in her

921
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 1: apology text that Clara mentioned a jewelry stand and that

922
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: we should all go. Bella had gone with Clara to

923
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,760
Speaker 1: that same stand the day Clara and I were supposed

924
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: to hang out. After Bella dropped Clara off. She texted

925
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: me with the apology message. I've been trying to spend

926
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,720
Speaker 1: time with both, only to be ghosted and left behind.

927
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 1: I feel like they used the opportunity to discuss things

928
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 1: behind my back. Now I feel like I'm being iced out.

929
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel like they're planning some intervention slash

930
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: ambush to get me to forgive Alice. The trust is

931
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 1: gone and I feel hurt.

932
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 6: Alice hasn't even apologized. Literally, really, she can't forgive her

933
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 6: because she hasn't apologized for anything. She doesn't care she

934
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 6: committed a crime.

935
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: Right. I've tried being on and setting boundaries, but now

936
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if I'm being excluded for standing up for myself.

937
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: Now I'm wondering, am I the hole for blocking Alice

938
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 1: over this? And oh, would I be the a hole

939
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: if I distanced myself from Bella and Clara too? Any

940
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 1: thoughts and there are some comments, but I want to

941
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 1: hear your thoughts now.

942
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, distance from anyone who supports people committing crimes against you.

943
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

944
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 1: I feel like we're starting to realize that, you know,

945
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: maybe we don't want to be friends with Clara or Bella,

946
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: either I agree, like if not for all of the

947
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: hip USUF, but just for that like okay, Like you

948
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: talked about plans that all three of us were originally

949
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: going to go to, and then you blew off plans

950
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 1: with me to go to that event that you all

951
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: talked about going to, and then after that texted me,

952
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: which obviously means that you guys were talking about me

953
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 1: the whole time, Uh huh and yeah, and then goes

954
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: to me when I try to make other plans.

955
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 6: It's like genuinely like these people are not your friends. Yeah,

956
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 6: And I don't understand exactly what Alice's thought process was,

957
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 6: you know, by stealing your medical information. I feel like

958
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:09,280
Speaker 6: we'll never find out. Like she's well intentioned according to Yella.

959
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,959
Speaker 1: What what were the intention Just explain like.

960
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 6: You I don't understand, like what were your intentions?

961
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 4: What are you thinking?

962
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: But there are some comments. Proof Reader four seven six

963
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 1: says please report her to her workplace. She obviously has

964
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 1: no idea about medical confidentiality and she is incredibly unprofessional.

965
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,720
Speaker 1: Opie says, already did through my insurance. There you go, nice,

966
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,320
Speaker 1: We're reporting her. Club Glittering sixty three, sixty two says it.

967
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 1: Don't just rely on your insurance report her to her employer.

968
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: Lady Rayka says, HIPPA exists because of crap like your

969
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 1: friend is pulling. I promise it's not just you. She's

970
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 1: doing this too. I know everyone else said to report

971
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: her to her work and the state, but I would

972
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 1: also report federally. Yes, I know it's in shambles, but

973
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 1: it can't hurt to report there too. Also find a

974
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: new friend group that's made up of actual adults and

975
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: not a bunch of mean girls still stuck in middle school.

976
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 6: I'm just wondering if she did that to all of them. Yeah, right,

977
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 6: Like she took a lot of their medical information because like.

978
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: For her, it was probably just some sort of silly like,

979
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, i'm bored at work, let's just like

980
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 1: look up at my friend's things because like I know

981
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,399
Speaker 1: their name and I have access. But yeah, she so, yeah,

982
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: she probably did look it up of the other people too. Yeah,

983
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 1: but there is an update one month later. There were

984
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 1: a lot of questions, so here's some clarification. Update will

985
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: be down below. So why did she look up my

986
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: information and take a photo? I have been dealing with

987
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: health issues that are progressively getting worse, and I have

988
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 1: no answers and had no decent doctor. I think she

989
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: took it upon herself to try to help by looking

990
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: up my health insurance information. When I asked why, she

991
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 1: texted that she was curious. I know she had good intentions.

992
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 6: But I still don't understand the intentions.

993
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 1: I don't think she had good intentions. I mean, if

994
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 1: the intentions were trying to help, it's like you could

995
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: have done that a different way.

996
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 6: Beside it said, hey, ope, do you want help figuring

997
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 6: out why insurance will cover this?

998
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 7: Yeah?

999
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: Like what's your health insurance?

1000
00:47:59,080 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 2: Like what sure that?

1001
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 6: Or what's your health and sure?

1002
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,919
Speaker 1: Literally like you don't have to look up because it's

1003
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 1: just stupid. It's so easy to do that.

1004
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 6: And but now, but now you've committed a crime.

1005
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, dude. I know she had good intentions,

1006
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: but I never gave her permission to look up my

1007
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 1: info or take a photo. If Alice had just asked me,

1008
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 1: I would have said no, since I didn't want her

1009
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: jeopardizing her job. But also if she would have only

1010
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 1: asked me, I would have let her know that I

1011
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: already had found a new doctor. So who did she

1012
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 1: send the photo to That's another question as far as

1013
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 1: I know, just me, but her boyfriend uses her laptop

1014
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 1: and basically everything she owns. Why would you send it to?

1015
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 6: She sent it to?

1016
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: Oh P, that's crazy. Why she knows, oh Chiltern.

1017
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:46,720
Speaker 6: That's crazy to be like, hey, here's your medical information. Yeah,

1018
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 6: I know my medical information. Literally, that's crazy, my medical information.

1019
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: I believe he's read our conversations, which I had no

1020
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: clue until he brought up my health concerns that I

1021
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 1: can fight it in Alice, and has also sent me

1022
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: a few messages not clarifying that it was HYMN. So

1023
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 1: it's just a random number. That's crazy.

1024
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 6: He's like hello, He's like, who is this? You have

1025
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 6: diabetes that runs in your family. Yeah, you should go

1026
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 6: to this health care provirus.

1027
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: So it's weird. So there was a very real possibility

1028
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:18,919
Speaker 1: he saw the photo. More info. My social Security number

1029
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: was not in the photo. I only said what if

1030
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:23,399
Speaker 1: it was, because if it was, it would have been

1031
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 1: more serious if my name, address, birthday, and health insurance

1032
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 1: information was on there. So now for the full update.

1033
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 1: After posting, I filed an official hippo complaint through the

1034
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 1: OCR website after many comments suggested it. I also reflected

1035
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 1: on this friend group and realized we had all been

1036
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: drifting apart for some time now. Even before the incident,

1037
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: Alice and I were growing apart. Bella started showing more

1038
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,240
Speaker 1: signs of animosity and resentment here and there, but Clara

1039
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: we were actually growing closer, So when she started ghosting me,

1040
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 1: I was left hurt and confused. Later, Bella sent me

1041
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 1: a text inviting me to a group hangout with some

1042
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: of her friends, including Clara, but not Alice. I assume

1043
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 1: this was an intervention disguised as a hangout to maybe

1044
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:04,760
Speaker 1: mend things between Alice, but I can't be for certain.

1045
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 1: I replied that while I appreciated the thought, I was

1046
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: not comfortable hanging out and did not like how some

1047
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 1: things were handled or set, especially since Bella tried shifting

1048
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: the blame to me when she texted me a quote

1049
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: apology beforehand. I also said that I needed space to

1050
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: reevaluate some things, but I told her to have fun

1051
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 1: and to stay safe. She replied, wishing me the best,

1052
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 1: but if I needed anything, she was going to be

1053
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 1: waiting for me. While respecting my need for space, I

1054
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: haven't reached out since, but I've been thinking about it

1055
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 1: weeks past and I was still stuck on the situation.

1056
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: My sister in law got tired and finally asked me

1057
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,919
Speaker 1: why I couldn't let it go. After taking some time

1058
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 1: to reflect on the reasons and my choices, I put

1059
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:45,919
Speaker 1: my big girl pants on and made the decision to call.

1060
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 1: I called, got connected to the manager and explained what happened.

1061
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 1: I offered to email the screenshots, and because of the

1062
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: small size of the clinic, they had to create a

1063
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: completely new email so I could send everything. The next day,

1064
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: I received an email explaining that the clinic would be

1065
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 1: starting investigation days earlier than they initially said. Days passed,

1066
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: and I received a conclusion email giving me their thanks

1067
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 1: for having the courage to report and what they did.

1068
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 1: They put Alice on leave and reviewed the logs for

1069
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 1: several days. They brought her in for an HR meeting

1070
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: and decided on training Alice with some HIPPA training and

1071
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,479
Speaker 1: are putting in measures so that this will never happen again.

1072
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm sure this is not the update many expected or

1073
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 1: hoped for. I did what many recommended, but the decision

1074
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 1: was ultimately up to the clinic. I hope this was

1075
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 1: a wake up call for Alice. I haven't heard anything

1076
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: from Alice, Bella and Clara ever since. My thoughts are

1077
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: that Alice made a stupid and careless mistake that nearly

1078
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 1: cost her job and ended our friendship. She's always had

1079
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: the habit of making careless mistakes without thinking or caring

1080
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 1: about the consequences until they came As for her boyfriend,

1081
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 1: I don't know him that well, but I've seen red

1082
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:53,399
Speaker 1: flags he's presented in person and from what Alice has

1083
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 1: told me. For why I didn't tell her, she's the

1084
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 1: type to not listen or make excuses about her relationship. Besides,

1085
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be the first friend to drop her because

1086
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 1: of her behavior once she started dating her boyfriend. I

1087
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,400
Speaker 1: also want to briefly say that when writing my original post,

1088
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: it was four am and I was shaking with anxiety

1089
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,840
Speaker 1: at the realization that I just lost my closest friends

1090
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 1: of a decade. I regret how messy it sounded, with

1091
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,720
Speaker 1: more gossip and ranting than actual facts of what happened,

1092
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:22,240
Speaker 1: and I apologize for that. They aren't good friends so exactly,

1093
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: it's like you'll be better off you'll without them, right

1094
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,799
Speaker 1: you'll learn how it is to be alone. Because if

1095
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: she's twenty three, yeah, and she's they've been friends since thirteen.

1096
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 6: You'll make new better friends. Yeah, an these people.

1097
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: I feel like that's just a good like thing to

1098
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: go through anyway, just like you know, noticing that your

1099
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 1: friends aren't the best and then dealing with it and

1100
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: then being okay on your own because then you'll meet

1101
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: future friends and aren't that good and be able to

1102
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: leave them easier. Yeah.

1103
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 6: So if you don't rely on these people, yeah, exactly

1104
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:57,240
Speaker 6: in an unhealthy way, right right, Yeah, so it sucks

1105
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 6: for sure, but.

1106
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: You'll be okay. But there is a little bit more.

1107
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 1: I hope that this update shows that I actually took

1108
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: time to process things and approach you with more maturity

1109
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: than my first one. Thank you everyone who responded to

1110
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: my original post with advice, support, and even criticism. I

1111
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 1: think the blunt comments calling me a doormat were the

1112
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 1: most helpful in helping me reflect about everything. I know

1113
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 1: it took me some time, but in the end I

1114
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,360
Speaker 1: called and got some closure. I think this whole situation

1115
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 1: pushed me to improve myself for the better, not just

1116
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: as a person, but to be a better friend, the

1117
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: future friends I'll meet and.

1118
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 6: That's the end of that story. Exactly got the sopie. Yeah,

1119
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 6: and you recognize what a real friend looks like.

1120
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 1: Right, Hey, it's Sam.

1121
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories.

1122
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My

1123
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 1: best friend's boyfriend won't stop staring at me. I feel unnerved.

1124
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 6: What are you looking at?

1125
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: And trigger warning The says mentioned substances and ad so

1126
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: this is a bit of a wild one, so please

1127
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 1: bear with me. I twenty seven female, met my friend's

1128
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,759
Speaker 1: new boyfriend thirty one male this week. They matched on

1129
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: hinge and have been in a honeymoon phase for about

1130
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 1: two weeks now, along with a few friends. We've met

1131
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: up at a cafe to me him. He was quiet,

1132
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,240
Speaker 1: which was understandable given the circumstances. But I kept catching

1133
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 1: him staring at me. Not a brief glance or even

1134
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: anything flirtatious, more just cold and a bit unrelenting creepy.

1135
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 1: I told myself I was overthinking things. She seemed so

1136
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 1: happy with him, and I wanted to trust that he

1137
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,839
Speaker 1: was a good guy. By the way, this comes from

1138
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 1: a forward complex twenty nine, thirty one on the too

1139
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,240
Speaker 1: Hot Takes subreddit, and you can submit your own stories

1140
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:28,280
Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. And I'm Angie.

1141
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, and OP says. Since then, she's given him

1142
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:35,799
Speaker 1: my number and he's been texting me pretty frequently. He

1143
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 1: also tried to add me on Snapchat. I didn't add

1144
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 1: him back.

1145
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 4: Yeah don't.

1146
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,719
Speaker 1: He never says to anything to make me feel uncomfortable.

1147
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: So for the next few days, I tried my best

1148
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 1: to accept this new friendship that brings us to present.

1149
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 1: About three weeks in and they're going camping. When they

1150
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,280
Speaker 1: went to check into their cabin, the boyfriend couldn't provide

1151
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: his license. In fact, he confessed that he didn't have

1152
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:56,759
Speaker 1: any form of idea at all.

1153
00:54:57,080 --> 00:55:01,960
Speaker 6: That's suspicious. It absolutely it's weird. You got nothing, got

1154
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 6: like a birth certificate.

1155
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 1: Do you exist? So she had to check in for them.

1156
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: To her credit, she thought it was weird to have

1157
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: no identification at thirty one, but given the boyfriend's love

1158
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 1: bombing he spent one k on this trip alone, she

1159
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 1: was keen to overlook it. At this point, though, I

1160
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: couldn't ignore my gut feeling and decided to do some digging.

1161
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:24,400
Speaker 1: Here's where things took a turn. First, I found his Instagram,

1162
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 1: which had no posts, mostly bought accounts following him. Eventually

1163
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: I found his Facebook under a different name, along with

1164
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 1: a wedding registry between him and another woman from twenty

1165
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,400
Speaker 1: twenty four. Oh oh, is he married?

1166
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 5: Uh?

1167
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: Oh? Is he lying to you? Is he lying? I

1168
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:43,839
Speaker 1: think he might be if he has no form of ID.

1169
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 6: Dude, I'm wondering if he knows OP. You know, but

1170
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 6: OP doesn't remember him, and he's like, oh my god,

1171
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 6: I've seen Op.

1172
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: She knows I'm married or something. She knows that I'm

1173
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 1: not who I say. Yeah, but OP just doesn't recognize him. Ooh,

1174
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 1: that's my conspiracy theory. That would be pretty crazy. While

1175
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:02,439
Speaker 1: we knew he had an ex fiance, all he said

1176
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,320
Speaker 1: about his breakup was that she left him six months prior.

1177
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: On a whim, I decided to run both their names

1178
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:12,439
Speaker 1: on a municipal and criminal case look up. Turns out

1179
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 1: his ex fiance is in jail, which is the real

1180
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 1: reason that they broke up. Yeah, that's a good reason. Yeah. He,

1181
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: on the other hand, has an outstanding court case along

1182
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 1: with multiple serious previous charges for a similar offense with

1183
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:31,439
Speaker 1: the most recent incident dated December of twenty twenty four.

1184
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 6: Oh nang.

1185
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 1: So at this point I'm panicking. No license, no form

1186
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 1: of identification, no real social media, active criminal charges, and

1187
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 1: I'm discovering all of this while she's camping in the

1188
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:44,839
Speaker 1: woods alone with him.

1189
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 6: That's terrifying.

1190
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 1: It is absolutely terrified.

1191
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:48,759
Speaker 6: That's terrifying.

1192
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 1: Ohly known each other three weeks. Oh my gosh, Oh

1193
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 1: my gosh. I'm scared that if I tell her now

1194
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: while they're together, she will panic and he'll become aggressive.

1195
00:56:57,719 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: But if I say nothing, am I putting her in

1196
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 1: more days? What do I do? And there are some comments,

1197
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 1: but oh my goodness, what would you do in this situation?

1198
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: Driving up?

1199
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 6: I would too, I'm telling like everyone, I know where

1200
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 6: I'm going, yeah yeah, and then I'm taking three people. Yeah,

1201
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,760
Speaker 6: and I'm driving up and I'm taking her home.

1202
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. I would probably be like, oh my gosh,

1203
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 1: this is so crazy. We are actually I'm doing a

1204
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:24,320
Speaker 1: family camping trip right by you guys.

1205
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 6: You guys, oh away, you guys were here.

1206
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 1: No way, honestly, I can just drive her home.

1207
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:33,520
Speaker 2: It might be just be easier that way.

1208
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, We've got some more space in here.

1209
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, and just let me just well, weill carpool you

1210
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 6: go that way.

1211
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's crazy, and then break the news short. Yeah,

1212
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 1: but there are some comments coming. Number one says he

1213
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 1: is still in the love bombing stage and she hasn't

1214
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 1: questioned him. So if they have already left, sit on

1215
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 1: it until she gets back. Does she at least have

1216
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: cell service in case of an emergency?

1217
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 4: Ope?

1218
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 1: He responds, she does have cell service, so we've been

1219
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 1: in com contact. She questioned him about the license and

1220
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: he gave her a pretty unconvincing story. I think she

1221
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: can send somethings off, but is trying to have a

1222
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: good time and not push him. If I were in

1223
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 1: her shoes, I would probably.

1224
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 4: Do the same.

1225
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: Someone else responds, she has some self preservation skills. Hopefully

1226
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 1: you won't even have to say anything and she will

1227
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: end it when she gets back. Of course, you should

1228
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 1: still tell her because she needs to see that jumping

1229
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: into online dating too fast is dangerous. Someone else responds, Exactly,

1230
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,919
Speaker 1: even if she has some self preservation skills, she still

1231
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 1: might be underestimating the risk because she's in that honeymoon

1232
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 1: haze with him. You're right that Opie should absolutely talk

1233
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 1: to her after the trip, but I'd also keep a

1234
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: closer eye on things in real time, just in case.

1235
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 1: Sometimes a good time can flip on a dime when

1236
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: you're isolated with someone who's hiding major parts of their life.

1237
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 1: Comment number two says two different topics his interest towards you,

1238
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: Maybe the glare, text messages, adding you on different social media,

1239
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 1: et cetera, even if we don't know if they are flirtatious.

1240
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't like mine would do the same to

1241
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 1: my friends. But more importantly, his shady present slash past.

1242
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 1: What were the charges for? Because if it's stealing an orange,

1243
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 1: well still bad, but wouldn't be that concerning and it

1244
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 1: might include your friend. Can you make an excuse and

1245
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 1: bring your friend back? Do you have a codeword or

1246
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: a name for you too when you were dating that

1247
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 1: might mean alert or something. Could you call her and

1248
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 1: pick her up or someone trustworthy nearby, even pretending someone

1249
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: in her family is sick or something.

1250
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 6: I think you text her no context. Your grandma's yeah,

1251
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 6: nor my god, oh my god, you got it, And she's.

1252
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 1: Like, oh my god, my grandma, what happened to my grandma?

1253
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,920
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I had to get you out of there. Yeah, exactly,

1254
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 1: And maybe she's upset there's a ghastlyak in your own part.

1255
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:43,400
Speaker 1: There's a gap. Oh that might be better. You can't.

1256
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: You can't, you like, you can't come.

1257
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 7: In being evicted, but you also have to come be

1258
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 7: here to fix it.

1259
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 1: But you can't go in side.

1260
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 6: There's ya si, but carbon monoxide in your apartment. You

1261
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 6: can't go on side, but you have to come back

1262
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 6: right exactly response.

1263
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 1: It was multiple serious substance charges. I guess we'll probably

1264
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: should go into the details, but they span roughly from

1265
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: twenty fourteen to twenty twenty four. The only reason we

1266
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: haven't driven there, it's about a four hour drive for us,

1267
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: is because they're nonviolent charges. No family of friends in

1268
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: that area. But since she drove him, weighing how to

1269
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 1: go about picking her up or staging an emergency. Luckily

1270
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 1: we have her location and there is an updates. But okay,

1271
01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 1: I mean at least they're not violent trying. Yeah, that

1272
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 1: makes me a lot less worried. Yeah, absolutely, you know,

1273
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously you still want to keep an eye

1274
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 1: on people. Definitely shouldn't trust people that you've only known

1275
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 1: for three weeks.

1276
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 6: I mean I would probably still drive. Yeah, just because

1277
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:46,480
Speaker 6: they've only known each other three weeks, right, and you

1278
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 6: know the ID, Like there's a bunch of already weird

1279
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:49,200
Speaker 6: stuff going on.

1280
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't know about this. Yeah, maybe just like

1281
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 1: just be there, so you just drive up and just

1282
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 1: kind of like hang around the.

1283
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 6: Area, just get a nice little, I don't know, day

1284
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 6: trip in exactly.

1285
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: That's all, but there is an updates. My friend is

1286
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 1: home and safe. Thank you so much to everyone for

1287
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 1: the advice regarding this admittedly insane situation. It's been a

1288
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 1: long two days, but what matters most is everyone is okay.

1289
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 1: Here's an update of what's happened since discovering my best

1290
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,200
Speaker 1: friend's new boyfriend isn't who we said he was. While

1291
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 1: they were camping alone together. Without knowing this person or

1292
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: how they would react to confrontation, we decided not to

1293
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 1: disclose the information while they were alone together. I know

1294
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 1: some may have handled this differently, but my friend had

1295
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 1: already confronted him about the lack of ID and based

1296
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 1: on his response, we decided telling her posed more risk

1297
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 1: than waiting. Her anxiety would have led to another, potentially

1298
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 1: worse confrontation. The trip was supposed to last two nights,

1299
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 1: but they cut it short after we staged a minor

1300
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 1: emergency that something kept up and nobody could watch her cat.

1301
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 1: Nice there you go. Yeah, no need to fret, but

1302
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 1: like maybe yeah, maybe better than grandma, Yeah yeah or

1303
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 1: a ghastleek. Maybe maybe they have better ideas than I guess.

1304
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 6: So oh, I thought Grandma was pretty good, but whatever.

1305
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:06,640
Speaker 1: I think she could tell that something was off between

1306
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,479
Speaker 1: the missing ID and our constant demands for signs of life,

1307
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 1: because she agreed to come home without much pushback. We

1308
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 1: met her at her house the last night to debrief.

1309
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 1: She kept mentioning how she felt that she was missing something.

1310
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: He would disappear, often wouldn't give much detail about his ex,

1311
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:24,360
Speaker 1: or his breakup, or his license, and always wore one

1312
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 1: of those compression sleeves on his arm. He also used

1313
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 1: language that made my friend uncomfortable. He refers to women

1314
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: as witches, uses the R word and the F word

1315
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 1: to describe queer people, of which we have several in

1316
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,080
Speaker 1: our friend group. Uh, I'm sorry. Those aren't just like,

1317
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 1: oh yeah, something was kind of off.

1318
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 6: Those are like amazing, lazing.

1319
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 1: We gotta get out of here, right, It's like, yeah,

1320
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I would be a little more than uncomfortable.

1321
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:56,479
Speaker 6: There, use the f just like dude flippantly. I'd be like, well,

1322
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 6: certainly not dating you, yeah no.

1323
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: No, but then also too like calling women.

1324
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:02,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1325
01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 6: Also that it's like the three other things, yeah, all

1326
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:06,080
Speaker 6: of it.

1327
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. And honestly it was reassuring to hear her question things.

1328
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: I was worried his constant love bombing would have made

1329
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 1: her deny the information we've gathered, but her doubts gave

1330
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 1: us an opportunity to really dive in. We told her everything.

1331
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 1: We showed her receipts from the court cases, including his

1332
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 1: failure to appear but not so old wedding registry, his

1333
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 1: fake social media accounts, his messages with me, even the

1334
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 1: charges against his ex fiance. And once we laid it

1335
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 1: all out there, she did something that none of us expected.

1336
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: What do you think she's gonna do? She sues him? Okay,

1337
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:42,960
Speaker 1: I wouldn't expect that, sue him. Yeah, I think she's

1338
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,720
Speaker 1: gonna try to just pull a big old prank on

1339
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:48,160
Speaker 1: this guy. Oh No, what she's gonna do is she's

1340
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 1: gonna be like, it's time to let you know I'm

1341
01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:53,439
Speaker 1: not who I said I was either, I'm the ex

1342
01:03:53,480 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 1: fiancee plot twistist. So she confronted that was not as

1343
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:05,360
Speaker 1: exciting to say that. Yeah, boring via text message, but

1344
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 1: without hesitation, she demanded answers, and after hours of back

1345
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 1: and forth until like one am, he finally confessed at

1346
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 1: the very least the details that we could prove. Turns out,

1347
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 1: his ex fiance and him dated for seven years before

1348
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:20,960
Speaker 1: breaking up only three months ago. Oh wow, when he

1349
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 1: said it was six months ago. Oooo. When she was

1350
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 1: released from jail after rehab, she took the cat and

1351
01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 1: left their apartment after getting clean. He'd always blamed the

1352
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 1: X for taking his cat, but only so that she

1353
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 1: left him for no reason. He'd been a regular user

1354
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 1: for ten years, hadn't sought in patient rehab, but was

1355
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:41,360
Speaker 1: currently in a three month out patient program like NA meetings,

1356
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 1: and finally that he was planning to tell her all

1357
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:46,919
Speaker 1: of this once. In his words, she loved him enough

1358
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:51,680
Speaker 1: that these details didn't matter. Yay, that's not how you

1359
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 1: do it, my.

1360
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 6: Guy, about it honesty, straight up, come man.

1361
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 1: He listed all the reasons why she should stay, mostly

1362
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 1: including the money he'd spent on her for the dates,

1363
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 1: which is one k. It was an emotional rollercoaster. I mean,

1364
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 1: I guess we're gonna be some honesty.

1365
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,919
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean like crazy attempts to keep you there.

1366
01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, dude.

1367
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:19,919
Speaker 6: I'm glad she knows, and I'm glad she's breaking it off.

1368
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, all you could ask. Absolutely, there's a little bit

1369
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:25,480
Speaker 1: more to the story. She has so far admitted that

1370
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 1: currently she isn't capable of taking on something as significant

1371
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 1: as his situation, but she did confess that deep down

1372
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 1: she wished she didn't know any of this information because

1373
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 1: he treated her so well, buying gifts for her friends,

1374
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 1: smothering her, complimenting her, et cetera. It's still unclear what

1375
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 1: more he's hiding, but for now she's safe and seems

1376
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 1: to be taking everything seriously. Thank you again to everyone

1377
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,200
Speaker 1: who helped us find the right way to bring her home.

1378
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,680
Speaker 1: We will see where things go from here. Any additional

1379
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 1: advice is welcomed and appreciated. PS. None of this information

1380
01:05:54,520 --> 01:05:57,520
Speaker 1: is intended in any way to shame recovery. The lack

1381
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:00,320
Speaker 1: of honesty and manipulation is the highlight, and to all

1382
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:03,440
Speaker 1: of those who are in recovery, have recovered and still struggle.

1383
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:05,960
Speaker 1: You are valid, and this update is not intended to

1384
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,280
Speaker 1: diminish those struggles.