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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for rolling my eyes at

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend's proposal because it took twenty five years of

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Speaker 1: me begging? This is okay? I o'p be home to

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Speaker 1: the craziest true stories on Earth. I'm Sophia and Riley.

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Speaker 1: Would you beg for twenty five years?

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Speaker 2: It's a big decision.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you have to take twenty five years just

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Speaker 1: to figure it out. Also, apologies, I'm sick so throwaway proposal,

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Speaker 1: Finn says. Yesterday after dinner, my fifty two female boyfriend

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Speaker 1: of thirty years fifty three male proposed to me. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, thirty years? Oh my yeah, that's so what. Also,

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Speaker 1: based on the title, it seems that Ope only started

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Speaker 1: asking after five years.

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Speaker 2: Interesting because it was twenty five years of yes, yes, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: thirty years.

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Speaker 1: So you're married. You're married in the eyes of the law.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 1: He just walked towards me holding a box and said

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Speaker 1: to open it was a ring And I had pictured

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Speaker 1: this moment a million different times, but never thought I'd

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Speaker 1: be so apathetic. My boyfriend then said that he was

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Speaker 1: retired now and wants to kick back and enjoy life

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Speaker 1: with me and would love to do it all with

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Speaker 1: me as his wife.

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Speaker 2: What were you doing with your life before? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what was it before this? Oh? My goodness, for

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Speaker 1: thirty what he's like situationship a whole new level, Like

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Speaker 1: they're in a relationship, but this is like marriage, situationship.

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Speaker 1: A nice speech and all. But from the five year

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Speaker 1: mark of our relationship onwards, I had been making clear

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Speaker 1: my deep desire to marry and was consistently dismissed, given

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Speaker 1: empty promises and.

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Speaker 2: Gas lit why are you with him? Then?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you should have left honestly, after like the six

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Speaker 1: year mark, Yeah, get out, Yeah, out of there.

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Speaker 2: Like, let's see, they've been together for thirty years. They

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Speaker 2: met at twenty two and twenty three, five years after

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Speaker 2: that at twenty seven. It's usually when people get married. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but he was like, no, I won't. Yikes.

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Speaker 1: We had been through the gamut with therapy, and one

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Speaker 1: counselor implied that me telling him we needed to go

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Speaker 1: to therapy and getting his butt on the couch still

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Speaker 1: means nothing if his mind has been made up. I

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Speaker 1: was in denial about the fact he was just giving

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Speaker 1: me the false illusion of progress to stall.

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Speaker 2: Dude. This one, it is said, this one Loki hits

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Speaker 2: a little, a little close to home. I have an okay,

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Speaker 2: story time.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, that's sad.

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Speaker 2: Well, like on a very different level.

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Speaker 1: Okay, my boyfriend and I have four kids. They have

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Speaker 1: four kids, and he wouldn't marry her. The oldest three

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Speaker 1: are adults, while the youngest is fifteen. Female was sleeping

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Speaker 1: over elsewhere when this all went down. All of our

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Speaker 1: kids went to a private school filled with typical Southern

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Speaker 1: soccer parents. I had to endure PTA moms. What's a

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Speaker 1: typical Southern soccer parents? I guess so you're from the South.

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Speaker 2: I am from the South. I never like looked at

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Speaker 2: soccer parents and we're like, oh, that's typical.

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Speaker 1: Typical Southern soccer parents.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I had to endure ETA moms's jabs about me not

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Speaker 1: sharing the last name with my kids. Preteen years were

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Speaker 1: hell because the other kids would taunt my kids by saying,

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Speaker 1: your dad would rather sin and go to hell than

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Speaker 1: marry your mom. That's so rough. That sucks for these kids.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend's mom would tell him marriage would be selfish

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Speaker 1: on my part. It is just a piece of paper.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, so the boyfriend's mom is like, don't marry her.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's stupid. It means nothing.

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Speaker 2: Time out getting married. You know how what you save

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Speaker 2: on your taxes? Yeah, a ton.

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Speaker 1: A ton. I don't think you have to get married,

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Speaker 1: but just the fact that she so obviously wanted to

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Speaker 1: get married. Yeah, like the need they needed to end

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Speaker 1: that relationship.

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Speaker 2: Apprehen's about it for like twenty five years.

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Speaker 1: Twenty five years? What are you doing with your life?

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend ended up rising up the ranks until he

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Speaker 1: became an executive. I was a stay at home mom,

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Speaker 1: so I felt like there was always a power and balance,

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Speaker 1: Exasperated by the fact that I could be tossed at

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Speaker 1: any time. I partly did stay because I wanted my

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Speaker 1: kids to have the best life, and because I felt

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Speaker 1: lucky and proud to be partnered with such an intelligent,

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Speaker 1: successful man, but also because I loved him. These past

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Speaker 1: few years, my boyfriend's career has taken a downturn. Will

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Speaker 1: never be poor, but the company he was part of

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Speaker 1: took a nose dive during twenty twenty, and he had

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Speaker 1: made enemies out of associates and board members whoa because

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Speaker 1: of COVID I'm presuming.

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Speaker 2: Oh, because of the thing this is.

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Speaker 1: The icky thing you he decided to step back from

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Speaker 1: his role and take the generous severance agreed upon. Now

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Speaker 1: he's living off investments and wants to relax. I didn't

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Speaker 1: like how his career ended and how he treated people,

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Speaker 1: and had been deciding whether I wanted to leave and

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Speaker 1: find someone else after a youngest turns eighteen so oh

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Speaker 1: so even before the proposal.

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Speaker 2: So they got a kid at eighteen or turning eighteen

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Speaker 2: relatively soon. Well they have a fifteen year old, so okay,

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Speaker 2: fifteen year old, their boyfriend girlfriend for twenty five years,

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Speaker 2: based in a way thirty. Yeah, married, but like this reaction,

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Speaker 2: this seems like a big thing, and he it seemed

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Speaker 2: like he didn't really handle his career. Well yeah, I'm

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Speaker 2: just confused, Like why is she still with him?

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Speaker 1: I don't get it. And also I think it is

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Speaker 1: a little bit, like I guess because she's been with

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Speaker 1: him so long and they have kids that she's like

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Speaker 1: more apprehensive of leaving. But I think it's a little bit,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, not strange, but like interesting that even

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Speaker 1: before the proposal, she was like, I want to leave,

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Speaker 1: but I'm going to wait at least three years to

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Speaker 1: do so yeah, yeah, So the proposal was a shock

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Speaker 1: because I should hope that he noticed I have avoided

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Speaker 1: conversations about the future as of late. He rattles on

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Speaker 1: about downsizing our house so he can travel and also

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Speaker 1: cutting back on other expenses. But we're not married, so

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Speaker 1: it's all his money slash house. Anyway, he did notice

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Speaker 1: my eye roll and was offended. He asked what's wrong,

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Speaker 1: and I said that suddenly, now that he's downsizing, I'm

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Speaker 1: good enough to marry. He got mad and said that

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Speaker 1: now that he's downsizing and no longer an executive, I

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Speaker 1: suddenly think our relationship is disrespectful and started implying I

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Speaker 1: was a gold digger. I was so angry. I walked

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Speaker 1: out and said I might just go out looking for

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Speaker 1: a respectful relationship because I don't know what respect is anymore.

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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole? There are some relevant comments, yo,

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Speaker 1: I can see, like I think he's still in the

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Speaker 1: wrong for you know, literally waiting thirty years. Like I

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Speaker 1: can kind of see both sides.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well it's his side.

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Speaker 1: On his side, he's you know, like, well, you stayed

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Speaker 1: in the relationship for thirty years and you were fine

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Speaker 1: with it and just when my job downsizes, that's when

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Speaker 1: you want to leave. But on her end, she's realizing

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Speaker 1: that he took thirty years and she's like, I don't

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Speaker 1: deserve that disrespect and just realizing that.

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Speaker 2: Now Yeah, because his attitude towards leaving his job was

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Speaker 2: now it can relax. Now he's settled down, which is like, yeah, three,

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Speaker 2: Like come on, you settled down at like I don't

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Speaker 2: know you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just don't understand why, Like he was so

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Speaker 1: apprehensive of getting married because you already basically married. It's

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Speaker 1: just a piece of paper and it would have made

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Speaker 1: your wife happy. But it doesn't. It seems like everything

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Speaker 1: has to be on his agenda, which yeah, maybe I'm

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Speaker 1: leaning more towards dop but yeah, yeah, it doesn't seem

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Speaker 1: like he's taking into what like her feelings into account.

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Speaker 2: I definitely can see like more things are going to arise,

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Speaker 2: like oh, he did this in the beginning or he

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Speaker 2: did this later, relation think that it was gonna yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because he does seem like a very in a way selfish.

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Speaker 2: This is a selfish thirty years that he took to

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Speaker 2: himself very selfish or twenty five years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, relevant comments Comfortable policy seventy says you're the ahle.

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Speaker 1: Why did you beg for twenty five years instead of

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Speaker 1: proposing yourself after one year? And Opie said, he said

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Speaker 1: that if I tried to strong arm him into marriage,

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Speaker 1: whether by changing my last name after our kids were born,

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Speaker 1: or any proposal stunts, he'd be tempted to rethink this relationship.

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Speaker 1: WHOA take it back anything. I wasn't really on his side.

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Speaker 1: I was just trying to like see both sides, but

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Speaker 1: I'm fully not on his side. That's yeah, that's not cool.

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Speaker 2: Is he just someone that doesn't want to marry get married?

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Speaker 1: Yes, but he does want to get married.

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Speaker 2: But whow he marry her earlier? Was she not the

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Speaker 2: right person for him? Because if that's the case, why

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Speaker 2: did he stay with her for that long? Yeah? I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just think it's weird that, Like, I I think

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Speaker 1: it's weird that he's so adamant about not getting married,

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Speaker 1: but he'll have kids and I'll do everything else. And again,

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Speaker 1: like if you don't, like, if a couple decides together

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Speaker 1: that they don't want to get married, like that makes sense,

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Speaker 1: but like it just seems like they shouldn't. Yeah, shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have stayed together, and then Delicious Mud seventy two ninety

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Speaker 1: one says, if you were begging for him to propose,

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Speaker 1: why did you stay for twenty five years? Opie says,

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Speaker 1: because I was a stay at home mom of many

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Speaker 1: kids and he was this big executive, so I felt

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Speaker 1: if I offended him in any way, he'd use his

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Speaker 1: influence to screw me in a custody battle or otherwise

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Speaker 1: make my life miserable.

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Speaker 2: Interesting. Oh yeah, stay at home mom.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she feels like she doesn't have any power, so

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Speaker 1: she's just staying in this relationship.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. I forgot about to stay at home. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: stay home mom part like they are. That's a that's

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Speaker 2: a marriage.

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Speaker 1: That's a marriage.

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Speaker 2: That's a body. That's a marriage. That what no like,

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Speaker 2: it's like, that's a body. No the trend. Oh, I

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Speaker 2: don't know very well. But it's like he gave you

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Speaker 2: a drink. That's a body. He opened the door for you.

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Speaker 2: That's a body.

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Speaker 1: Poshi Jones says, he called you a gold digger. You've

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Speaker 1: been with him for a quarter century without ownership and anything,

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Speaker 1: and he called you a gold digger. Everyone sucks here

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Speaker 1: him for not committing to you. But having four kids

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Speaker 1: with you, and you for staying with him and having

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Speaker 1: four kids with him, marry him at least so you

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Speaker 1: get equity in your home. He should have put your

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Speaker 1: name on the deed.

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Speaker 2: Op.

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Speaker 1: He says yes, because if I were a gold digger,

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Speaker 1: I would have smiled and said yes with intent to

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Speaker 1: divorce him. Instead, I said no, But he's just mad

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Speaker 1: about the eye roll. That's true.

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Speaker 2: Wait did she say four kids earlier?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Why did that not click with me?

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Speaker 1: You probably thinking because they have the fifteen year old

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Speaker 1: who's about to turn eighteen, but all the other kids

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Speaker 1: are out like out at home.

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Speaker 2: What adio? That's four marriages. That's four right here?

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Speaker 1: Poor marriages. You're married, You're married. I think I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of understand the comments because it's like, why did you

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Speaker 1: say so long? I just agree with these comments, the

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Speaker 1: gold digger comment, and like she's stayed with you, taking

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Speaker 1: care of your kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. But okay, before we get into the update, here's

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Speaker 2: my question. How much longer would she have waited if

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Speaker 2: he didn't say anything or even try to propose.

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Speaker 1: Well, it seems like she was thinking about it even

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Speaker 1: before the proposal, Like she was saying like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: once my kid turns eighteen, I'm gonna think about leaving.

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Speaker 1: So she was already considering this. OK ok, but there

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Speaker 1: is an update. At the time of my original post,

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I had not spoken since the engagement fight.

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Speaker 1: I've been with him long enough to know that when

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Speaker 1: he goes and closes the bedroom door before I get in,

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Speaker 1: that's a signal that I should sleep in one of

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Speaker 1: the guest rooms. So I did that. However, this morning

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Speaker 1: I broke the ice. I told him about how dismissed

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Speaker 1: I felt over the years. I also said that we're

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Speaker 1: both in our fifties and these last few years have

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Speaker 1: taught us that people at work who kiss the ground

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Speaker 1: you one day can easily turn on you the next,

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Speaker 1: and true partners in life are valuable and hard to find.

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Speaker 1: Though I wish he'd treat me like I'm valued, instead,

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Speaker 1: he treats me like he thinks prettier, better and justice

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Speaker 1: loving is always around the corner. I apologize for the

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Speaker 1: eye roll, but told him that if he wants marriage,

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Speaker 1: I want a quick, committed timeline and genuine happiness from

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Speaker 1: him to be marrying me. I don't need a big party.

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Speaker 1: He listened, to me and finally asked if this was

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Speaker 1: about the money slash security. He told me that being

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Speaker 1: an executive's girlfriend required things of me, but if I

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Speaker 1: wanted to work, I could have. He said, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: think I'm grateful enough for the position in society I

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Speaker 1: was in due to his.

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Speaker 2: Career time ALM.

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Speaker 1: She was a stay at home mom. She was taking

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Speaker 1: care of the kids, like four kids.

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Speaker 2: That the fact that you were able to provide for her,

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Speaker 2: but she was also providing on her house. Yeah, with

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Speaker 2: the kids.

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Speaker 1: Like being a stay at home mom is a full

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Speaker 1: time job too.

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Speaker 2: It's really tough that she's more on the emotional side

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Speaker 2: of like, I want you to want this, I want

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Speaker 2: you to love me, respect me, and he's more like

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Speaker 2: the oh, am I to get the money. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I guess now someone to relax with. Yeah, since he's

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Speaker 2: not gonna be doing anything else with his time.

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Speaker 1: No, and even just like the comment of like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: being an executive's girlfriend has like a part to play

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Speaker 1: or a role or something that, Yeah, it just feels very.

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Speaker 2: He's very materialistic. Well, she's more like the.

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Speaker 1: She's like I just wanted I just wanted a relationship,

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Speaker 1: and he just want my money, which is cleol you

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Speaker 1: you yeah, you, And then he continues he's not mad

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Speaker 1: about the eye roll. He said he didn't succeed by

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Speaker 1: being that sensitive. He went on to say I was

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Speaker 1: not his prisoner, so I can leave at any time,

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Speaker 1: but to remember, he won't tolerate being made my prisoner

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Speaker 1: either via manipulation.

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Speaker 2: What all right?

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Speaker 1: Cool?

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Speaker 2: She just she just wants to be loved, but she

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Speaker 2: literally just wants to love. He just wants someone to

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Speaker 2: call hubby.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand. He said that, for what it's worth,

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Speaker 1: the engagement ring is mine and I could do whatever

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Speaker 1: I wanted with it. He will also not be accused

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Speaker 1: of not provide fighting for his daughter, so be assured

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Speaker 1: he won't shirk child support. But then he felt what

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Speaker 1: I said before was emotional blackmail. What wait? Her being

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Speaker 1: like honestly communicating that she felt dismissed was emotional blackmail?

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Speaker 2: Oh oh, he just felt guilty about something. Yeah, he

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Speaker 2: felt like he did something wrong. You made me feel bad.

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Speaker 2: That's emotional blackmail. So he no longer wants to go

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Speaker 2: forward with marrying, but says if I'd like to travel

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Speaker 2: with him, that's fine. Him traveling is non negotiable, and

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Speaker 2: so if I wanted to get a job, it would

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Speaker 2: have to be a remote job. It was a sad

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Speaker 2: conversation and I spent a few hours alone. After that,

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Speaker 2: I felt I.

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Speaker 1: Had nothing to lose, so I just asked him if

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Speaker 1: he would support me getting in associates, but that most

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Speaker 1: associates for technical careers were in person. He then dropped

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Speaker 1: bombshell that if I wasn't traveling with him, he wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to go those periods without sex. Wow you suck. Wow, Wow,

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Speaker 1: this guy sucks.

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Speaker 2: So he sees his relationship as transactional. Yeah, everything in

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Speaker 2: life is transactional.

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Speaker 1: It's like you, as my executive girlfriend partner, we're supposed

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Speaker 1: to have sex with me and like, you know, take

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Speaker 1: care of the kids, and that's your full job.

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Speaker 2: Do you think he ever loved her?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I feel like they both had

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Speaker 1: like these roles in this relationship or in his mind.

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Speaker 1: And the second that like that was kind of off kilter.

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Speaker 1: He was hoyve yikes. I was astounded by his callousness

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Speaker 1: because he's back to take it or leave it. We

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Speaker 1: fought again with me saying we're all feeling the effects

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Speaker 1: of age. I've supported him through health issues, and if

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Speaker 1: he thinks he can just find somebody who has that loyalty,

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Speaker 1: I've shown him he's wrong. At this point, I'm looking

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Speaker 1: for ways out. I can't say I haven't been tempted

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Speaker 1: to say I'll travel with him and try to get

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Speaker 1: a remote job, but also realize how resentful I am

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Speaker 1: that he continues to need to have the power in

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Speaker 1: the relationship. I don't think I'll ever know my value truly,

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Speaker 1: but something's telling me there has to be better out there,

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Speaker 1: at least in a partner. Yeh, there definitely is. There

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Speaker 1: is someone out there who won't make you wait twenty

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Speaker 1: five years to get the mare.

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Speaker 2: Someone that doesn't see you as an object.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like a sexual partner and a nannie's

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's what he's thinking her jobs.

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Speaker 2: Are, and I wonder what his relationship with his kids are.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm also wondering about that. I don't know,

337
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 1: but there is additional information so we can find out.

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Speaker 1: So last update from me for a while. I have

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Speaker 1: decided to start sending in applications for work from home jobs.

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Speaker 1: Such as social media manager, operations assistant, and bookkeeper. As

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Speaker 1: soon as I can get a resume together, nice, that's great.

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Speaker 1: I've downloaded templates online and I'm looking into displaced homemaker programs.

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Speaker 1: There are some resume tip websites that are saying they

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Speaker 1: have helped homemakers land sixty K jobs, and I'm going

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00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,480
Speaker 1: to work hard on my resume. I hope that when

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Speaker 1: they see my earnestness in the interview, they would be

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Speaker 1: moved to take a chance on me, instead of saying

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Speaker 1: that a white collar job is too much for me

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Speaker 1: to ask for what I'm willing to work hard. I

350
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,480
Speaker 1: feel that after running a household, that these operations and

351
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:57,040
Speaker 1: administrative jobs, as well as social media management jobs since

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00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,760
Speaker 1: I've done the photography for my family and friends, would

353
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 1: be within my scope and experience. I hope my comments

354
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,680
Speaker 1: have not come off as spoiled or out of touch.

355
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,760
Speaker 1: I apologize if that has offended anyone. What I was

356
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 1: trying to say is that I want to be able

357
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Speaker 1: to rent a studio slash one bedroom in a semi

358
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Speaker 1: safe neighborhood, and I've heard the new grads are able

359
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 1: to make forty five to fifty K year semi remote

360
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 1: in business administration or marketing and then hit seventy to

361
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,600
Speaker 1: eighty k in around five years and hope that if

362
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 1: I show my intent to get a certification in those fields,

363
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 1: that employers would give me this opportunity for me to

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00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,720
Speaker 1: rise up in the ranks. I love that Opie's trying.

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00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sucks that, like, yeah, she has to pick

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Speaker 2: up a new skill set at this age.

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Speaker 1: Age yeah, in her fifties, which is great.

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Speaker 2: Good for her to have that will, but a lot

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00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,800
Speaker 2: of people don't at that age. So this is what

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00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,080
Speaker 2: I know, this is what I've learned. I don't want

371
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 2: to learn a new skill if yeah, but I understand

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00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,520
Speaker 2: learning new skill yeh, learning out a live stream for

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Speaker 2: you people.

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Speaker 1: I just need someone to take a chance on me

375
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Speaker 1: and let me prove that I'm a hard worker. I'm

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Speaker 1: not above applying to the big box retailers, and but

377
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,880
Speaker 1: the people who work there seem to all be teens

378
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 1: or else adults with dubious criminal pasts. Though, for the

379
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,520
Speaker 1: sake of my safety as well as the promotion opportunities

380
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,520
Speaker 1: available with desk jobs, I would like to explore all

381
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Speaker 1: my options.

382
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,439
Speaker 2: Dang, she's gonna have to like start the bodom.

383
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, this sucks. I will not sell the ring as

384
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,199
Speaker 1: of right now out of respect for my partner. However,

385
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,959
Speaker 1: if he shows me any more displays of disrespect, I

386
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 1: will sell the ring. I will, however, do everything I

387
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 1: can to prevent myself from falling into poverty, and if

388
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 1: that means seeing a lawyer, I will do so. But

389
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,920
Speaker 1: in my opinion, new grads don't have that much more

390
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 1: experience and much less invested in a job, so they

391
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 1: can pick up and leave at any time. So I

392
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,120
Speaker 1: feel i'd be a more reliable hire.

393
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 2: So she's justifying yeah, leaving.

394
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like this is the resume.

395
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, She's like, it does feel like a resume.

396
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,919
Speaker 2: This is a game plan of leaving the relationship, exiting.

397
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. I wonder if, because I know, based off legally blonde,

398
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,520
Speaker 1: after ten years, you are entitled in certain like states

399
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 1: your entire to ask like certain assets. So I wonder

400
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 1: if she could like take some of those assets.

401
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 2: What assets can I ask for from what? From the boys?

402
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 1: Well, you haven't had a ten year relationship.

403
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 2: But at the ten year mark, Oh, if I can

404
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 2: drive Sam's car once a month, Wow, you're really low

405
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 2: balling it. I feel like he'd let you do it now. Okay,

406
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 2: we're at a break.

407
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're at a break. We're best friends, We're best friend.

408
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 1: It's official. Riley and I are best friends.

409
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,400
Speaker 2: We're best friends. Yeah, you also have another best friend

410
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: that you've known for longer than ten years?

411
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,400
Speaker 1: Yeah?

412
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,639
Speaker 2: What assets do they get that I don't get? Exactly?

413
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 2: So with the boys, yeah, I'm like, Okay, after ten years,

414
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,360
Speaker 2: what's what's going on? I get I don't have any

415
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,239
Speaker 2: assets yet, So you don't know, like, you can't hit

416
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 2: up can I say one of their names? Sure, you

417
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,199
Speaker 2: can't hit up Isabella and be like, yo, let me

418
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,159
Speaker 2: borrow your ice skates for a couple of days.

419
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 1: But is that an asset? I feel like that's just

420
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 1: like a perk, a favor, yuck, a perk of the relationship.

421
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 2: No, let's say like Isabella's parents have like a lake

422
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 2: house and you can go to it anytime. That's an asset.

423
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,119
Speaker 1: I mean, officially, it's not an asset, but like in

424
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 1: the I guess in this new definition that we're creating

425
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 1: for best friends, sure, maybe I just need to go

426
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 1: explore what an actual asset is. Little assets? Yeah?

427
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 2: Sorry? Side track it's okay, rabbit hole. What assets do

428
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: you guys have? Yeah, to get to us in tenures.

429
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 1: In ten years time? Can I have your assets? Can

430
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 1: you liquidate all of your assets and give.

431
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 2: Them to me or just give them to me? Raw? Wait, liquidate?

432
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 1: What but relevant comments?

433
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 2: Oh, let's go ope.

434
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 1: On the lack of communication in the relationship and taking

435
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 1: advantage of her boyfriend. I hope he also stops blaming

436
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,160
Speaker 1: me for whatever life doesn't rain gold appreciation down onto him.

437
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: I hope that if he does try to find somebody

438
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 1: else to have sex with, because he said that he

439
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 1: will not abstain from sex if I'm at home and

440
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 1: he's traveling, that he doesn't blame me for when he

441
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 1: does not find somebody who will care and love him

442
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 1: as I have done, when he goes looking for better

443
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 1: and doesn't find it. I don't really feel like she

444
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: took advantage of the relationship. I don't think so either.

445
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,639
Speaker 1: I think honestly, I think it was like an a

446
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 1: whole move to herself. Yeah, because she should have left

447
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,960
Speaker 1: a relationship earlier. But I don't think she was taking

448
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 1: advantage of him. No.

449
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 2: Like financially, yes, he was able to provide for her,

450
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 2: but she was taking care of the kids. Yeah, you're

451
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: the kids. It ah, I hate the comment.

452
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 1: It's weird. OPI on not taking steps in her life

453
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 1: to make earnings for herself without having to depend on

454
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 1: her boyfriend. I understand and am mostly numb to the

455
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: harsh words from a large amount of the comments. I

456
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: was hoping that if a part time job would take

457
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 1: me on, i'd be able to get myself an apartment

458
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 1: and a reliable source of transportation so I could start afresh.

459
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 1: If not, I want to look into certificate programs or

460
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: nonprofits that help moms first get a certificate and then

461
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: get a job.

462
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:53,959
Speaker 2: Nice.

463
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,479
Speaker 1: That's good. I don't know what remote jobs are like,

464
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 1: but if there's remote, part time jobs that don't pay

465
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: much that allow me to work from home so I

466
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 1: can set up my new life, I'd love to do that.

467
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: I know a cousin in her thirties who is a

468
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,640
Speaker 1: mom that works part time but makes about thirty dollars

469
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,679
Speaker 1: an hour. But I know she has an accounting degree,

470
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 1: but her setup is great, and hopefully she can give

471
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: me pointers because I know she networked her way into

472
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 1: that job too. I know I have a lot to

473
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 1: figure out and there is another update.

474
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 2: It is a lot about who you know. Yeah, that's

475
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 2: how I got here.

476
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's how I got here.

477
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 2: WHOA. She's leaving the relationship, trying to find a way

478
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 2: to live. Oh, that's so tough.

479
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: It's so hard because she obviously like she's very dedicated

480
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,120
Speaker 1: to finding a new job and she's like, I want

481
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 1: to do all this, I have all these plans, but

482
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 1: obviously it's so it doesn't seem like she has a

483
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 1: degree m hm. And that's so hard to find a job.

484
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 2: Like I was having these questions of myself like three

485
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 2: years ago. Yeah, and now she's having them now.

486
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

487
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 2: Ah, not saying you can't do anything at fifty four.

488
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: It is much harder.

489
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: It's much harder, and it takes time to build things

490
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 2: and then you won't really benefit from those things for

491
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 2: like a decade or so.

492
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the No, that's the thing. Like obviously you

493
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: can still you can do it things at any age,

494
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 1: like you can pursue a new career at any age,

495
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 1: but it's a lot harder when you one don't have

496
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 1: an income like on your own to support yourself and

497
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 1: you have like a kid. Still, Yeah, this is difficult.

498
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 2: Dude. She mentioned that there are programs and nonprofits that

499
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 2: help moms get jobs. I just thought of like a

500
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 2: hilarious movie idea of like a mom Tina Fey type

501
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 2: getting a job with like podcasters. That would be hilarious.

502
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: But there's an update. It's been over a month since

503
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: I last posted, and my life has changed drastically.

504
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 2: Wait, how long ago was?

505
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 1: This is January twenty six, twenty twenty four.

506
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I'm looking, I'm looking. Okay, December eighteenth was

507
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:51,360
Speaker 2: her last one.

508
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 1: Okay, this is like a month. Yeah, it's been over

509
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: a month.

510
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 2: Oh month and a half.

511
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, wasn't She did just say it's been over a month.

512
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: That was the first.

513
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I just wanted to see the time. I

514
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 2: just like seeing the dates in the end of the dates. Yes,

515
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 2: December eighteenth, Now it is January. I like to be

516
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 2: up to date.

517
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. For those who didn't see my previous posts, my

518
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: boyfriend of thirty years proposed after I had begged him

519
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 1: for twenty five years, and I had rolled my eyes

520
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: because it took twenty five years and him not being

521
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 1: an executive anymore. In response, he retracted the proposal. I

522
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 1: really wish this update could have been positive, but I'm

523
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: not doing well. Oh but what remains is hope. Hope

524
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 1: in the kindness of others Mike, grown kids, employers, courts,

525
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: even my kids's dad. Hope in the value of love

526
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: that I've given so freely to my kids's dad, because

527
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 1: I was raised to believe even those who don't appreciate

528
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: the love I've given them will eventually self actualize and

529
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 1: pay it back. No sad, Here's what happened since since

530
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 1: my kid's dad accused me of trying to keep him

531
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: an emotional prisoner, I tried to show him I valued

532
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 1: his freedom. I gave him a space and showed that

533
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: I could live life without shopping him. I started doing

534
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 1: that right after our discussion. His reaction was anger, What

535
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: do you want from this girl? After our talks, he

536
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: started glaring and picking fights over everything. The speed at

537
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 1: which I did housework by spending within his allowance and

538
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: cut it to nearly zero. Oh my god, so he's

539
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 1: taking away all of our money.

540
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you asked what he wanted this relationship. He just

541
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 2: wants power literally praise praise.

542
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: Showing her that if she like, if she doesn't comply,

543
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: he can like take away everything from her MMMM asked

544
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: for the ring back during an argument. I took the

545
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: comments to my post to heart, in particular advice telling

546
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 1: me that if badgered, I should refuse to leave the house.

547
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: Just a few days after our conversation about the engagement,

548
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 1: he picked a fight and accused me of ignoring him.

549
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: He said he wanted me out. I said, no, I

550
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: deserve to be here. He responded by having a lawyer

551
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: send me a notice telling me to vacate that day.

552
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: It happened so quickly I was too shocked to react.

553
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: WHOA so he planned that?

554
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: How did he get a lawyer to like just do

555
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: that in one day? How can you this cold to

556
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: someone that raised children. I don't understand.

557
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: It's such a cold shoulder.

558
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: Literally, my kids were torn between dad's buffing and try

559
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: to leave. But now he's filed to evict. Oh my god,

560
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: it's up to the courts now. I've tried looking for

561
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 1: legal aid, but the person I talked to was cold

562
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: and implied that my status as a mom and partner

563
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: won't protect me from eviction. I've tried sending out applications

564
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: for office jobs, but was told by friends to be

565
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 1: kind to myself because if one rejection comes, something better

566
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: will be along. My adult kids suggested I apply for

567
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 1: SNAP food stamps, and I haven't out of shame. They

568
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: said if I do, and Dad and I no longer

569
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: live together, the government will help me collect child support.

570
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:52,120
Speaker 1: This is really sad. Executive Yeah, ah, my grown kids

571
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 1: said they can't risk upsetting dad. My oldest told me

572
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: a gas station was hiring night shift and he tried

573
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: to help. Once he graduated. I decided to just be

574
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: grateful for the job. They rejected me after an interview

575
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 1: where I feel I spoke well at hers. But I

576
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: keep having hope because every day there are new remote

577
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: and non remote jobs posted saying they'll train the right candidate.

578
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 1: I'm applying to every corporation it seems, with hope that

579
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 1: one of them will take a chance on me, give

580
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 1: me an interview that I will ace see me for

581
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: somebody pulling herself up. I know my boyfriend wants me

582
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: to beg but I don't know if that would make

583
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: him drop the suit. I just don't know anymore. I

584
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 1: am in my corner of the house, trying to keep

585
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: things normal and applying like it's a job. I don't

586
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: know what else to say, but that ends my update

587
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: for now. I maintain hope and dignity.

588
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 2: Oof.

589
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,479
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this keeps getting worse and there are

590
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 1: subrelevant comments and one more update.

591
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 2: Dude, this is so sour.

592
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: I just can't believe that he's like fully evicting her,

593
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 1: fully evicting her, fully evicting her, not offering to help

594
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: her find a new place or find a new job.

595
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 1: And also the weird thing of like the parents can't

596
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 1: risk upsetting him, so they can't help her. Like that

597
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: feels very controlling to me.

598
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's the job. Does she even have a

599
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 2: place to go? Is her parents so live?

600
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 1: I don't know.

601
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 2: Does she have family, sisters, anything like that?

602
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not sure. Oh, I mean at least not

603
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 1: that she's like talked to girl or talked about in this.

604
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: What jobs are going to have the patience?

605
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, to train someone? Yeah, at that age, it's so

606
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: hard to get entry level jobs anywhere. When I was

607
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: in college trying to find a job at a Starbucks

608
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: or and I did eventually get a job at Starbucks,

609
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 1: but that was because I knew someone who worked there,

610
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: and also because I followed up on my email, which

611
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 1: apparently people really like. But anyway, it was so hard

612
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: to get a job at a library or something just

613
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: super entry level. And I can't imagine, you know, being

614
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: in your fifties and trying to get an entry level job.

615
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 2: Should people approach job applications differently instead of applying the

616
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 2: regular way, network with people that are above and be

617
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 2: friends with them and be like, hey, by the way

618
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 2: I'm looking for They're like, I really like you get in.

619
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: I think, honestly, it's pretty helpful. I would say when

620
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 1: I was applying for Starbucks, I told the manager that

621
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 1: I knew my friend and so that was helpful. They

622
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: were like, oh, yeah, you know, we have a basis

623
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 1: for who you are, and so I think it's really

624
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 1: helpful when you know someone, if people can get a

625
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: basis for who you are in your personality.

626
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: If you have a good one, yeah, If.

627
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 1: Your personality sucks, don't don't network.

628
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 2: Don't network, don't get a job.

629
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: Matti Posita forty eight says, I'm so sorry or going

630
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: through this ope, have you thought about applying for a

631
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 1: trade apprenticeship. I don't know the details of your circumstances

632
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 1: or skills, but I wanted you to have another option

633
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: to consider, Opie says. My skills of competency are mostly

634
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: around marketing and maybe something like investor relations, which my

635
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: boyfriend's sister was in for around eight years before she

636
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: got married and changed to another role. I love creating.

637
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: Oh wait, oh, sorry boyfriend's sister. I thought this was

638
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: just I love creating, beautiful imaging, and speaking to people,

639
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: even if they strangers. I know it doesn't come off

640
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: that way because I've been through a lot emotional stuff lately.

641
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't think I would be a personality fit around

642
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: trades people. We would likely have nothing in common, and

643
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 1: they run the gamut in terms of background that made

644
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: them choose trades. Open office job that climbs the corporate ladder.

645
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: I don't really know what that means.

646
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 2: Trades, blacksmiths, car repairmen. They're all like, I decided to

647
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 2: work here instead of sitting at an office job where

648
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: I'm in a cubicle all day. Yeah, which fair.

649
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: Fair, Yeah, it doesn't. If it doesn't grill your goose?

650
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: What I couldn't think of the same.

651
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: I just made one up tracks. Oil your tracks If

652
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,959
Speaker 2: it doesn't, your dog doesn't.

653
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: If it doesn't, still.

654
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: Your goose oil your another segment of Sophia's Unfinished Thoughts.

655
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: Unfinished I finished the thought. You didn't like the finished.

656
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 2: Thought because it didn't seem right.

657
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: I'm ill okay, guys, I'm ill.

658
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 2: Wow, you were like this before you got ill.

659
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 1: Opie on getting legal advice and househ he was served

660
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: by her ex No, I was served by a sheriff.

661
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 1: My son looked the sheriff up and confirmed he's legitimate.

662
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 1: A friend of his whose dad works in the court.

663
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: This friend does not know. My husband says he knows

664
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: the sheriff and he's been used by his own company

665
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: to serve stuff with. They sued it was a thirty

666
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: day notice. I told him I wasn't going to leave.

667
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: The day after the thirty day notice expired. He filed

668
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: for aviction and I was soon served. Unless they got

669
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: an identical twin of the sheriff to impersonate him, then

670
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: this is real. I gave legal aid the papers and

671
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 1: they said it's real. Why do you think it's not,

672
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 1: May ask when there's a case name and instructions of

673
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: where to file and answer. I'm so confused by this comment.

674
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: OPI on her education and work experiences. I did not

675
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: go to college, but I have done a lot of

676
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: freelance marketing, lash doing stuff for family and friends social

677
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: media and editing family pictures, thus promoting school fundraisers. I

678
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: would love to get a certification if I had the funds.

679
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: But when I'm entry level, I just want to put

680
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: my nose to the grindstone and work to show my potential.

681
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: But I will definitely into those videos, but am so

682
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: busy with applying for jobs in the first place. And

683
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: there is one more updates. Whoa that just dropped Jesus Christ.

684
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: That was scary girl.

685
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 2: Like I say, every woman with the posable thumbs and

686
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 2: entry level skills to make up, go on TikTok, get

687
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 2: on there as it's still here today, put your makeup on,

688
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 2: explain your situation to make up, and people will come

689
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 2: to you. I said, intermediate skills at makeup, people will

690
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 2: come to you. Okay, do that?

691
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: Yeah you just watched because she's putting on makeup.

692
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 2: Oh, story time, That's what I do.

693
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: Some people aren't cut out for the grinds.

694
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 2: The second way, I will listen to women.

695
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: What every other time you don't listen, I'm just hearing.

696
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: You're just tuning.

697
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 2: The other ask Sophia, fact because I won't even know.

698
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: But there's an update. One and a half months later.

699
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: The unconscionable happened. A judge is letting my ex boyfriend

700
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: evict me, a judge who's supposed to uphold the laws

701
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: of fairness, morality, and for years I assume kindness found

702
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: in favor of my ex boyfriend. My head is spinning.

703
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: I haven't found a job yet, and I did everything right.

704
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: I applied to hundreds upon hundreds of marketing jobs online.

705
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: I've gotten three responses, but those responses asked me to

706
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: download communication apps to do the interview, and their instructions

707
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: are so hard to understand.

708
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: No technology, no, you gotta oh my no, this is bad.

709
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: I don't do well with non concrete directions, so I

710
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: get too aggravated to respond. However, at this point I'm

711
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: desperate enough to interview even there. Oh yeah, no, you

712
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: need to download those apps. I think it's really important,

713
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: especially if you're new to the job market. You have

714
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: to have a base level understanding of technology. Yeah everywhere

715
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 1: is using technology word, and you have to have some

716
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: sort of an.

717
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: Email yeah excel excel, dude. A lot of people want Excel,

718
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 2: but I don't even know how to use Excel.

719
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: You don't necessarily have to have, you know, be super techy,

720
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: but just having just a couple, no one had to

721
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: work a computer, No one had to make a spreadsheet.

722
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 2: Where she said I applied to hundreds upon hundreds of

723
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 2: marketing jobs. Yeah, this dude on TikTok said he applied

724
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 2: to like fifteen hundred job applications or like some stupid

725
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 2: number like fifteen hundred and seven thousand. I don't remember

726
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 2: which one it was, but he didn't get a job

727
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 2: until the last seven hundred results. And he was lucky

728
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 2: because he went to the same college as another guy.

729
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, you crazy.

730
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just have to keep applying. I have taken

731
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: the advice to apply to non marketing jobs. My older

732
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: daughter wrote me a resume for an office assistant job

733
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: for a church that only offered eight to ten hours

734
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: a week at two dollars over minimum wage. I thought

735
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: it was going to say two dollars two dollars over

736
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: minimum wage. And they's somewhere in the South, so minimum

737
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 1: wage is probably not that much. It's probably it has

738
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: to be at least over seven fifty. But I got

739
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: called for an interview, and the pastor of all people

740
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 1: seemed disappointed after seeing me and greeted me with a

741
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: different tone than he readed the next applicant who came in,

742
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: a woman in her mid twenties. Horrible behavior from a

743
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 1: mid thirties man. He even called me, ma'am in this

744
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 1: apprehensive tone. I did not get the job, but I

745
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:22,879
Speaker 1: feel bad for whoever does.

746
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 2: I was thinking, what's on the husband's side on her, Like,

747
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 2: what is she doing wrong? Yeah? I just realized she's

748
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 2: in the South and she has been like not married

749
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 2: but living with the man that she's getting married with.

750
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 2: So everyone in the South is going to be judging,

751
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 2: and they're very judgment about the especially if it's pastor.

752
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, who might know her and something.

753
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just supposed to be welcoming.

754
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, what would Jesus do? Well, what he knows, Jesus.

755
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 2: Went to the woman by the well, why can't you

756
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 2: give this woman a job?

757
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 1: I only have a few days before a sheriff arrives.

758
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 1: I've called my kids for help. My legal aid to

759
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: tre predicted I'd only get visitation until I have a

760
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: stable place. What the fuck? And child support would likely

761
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: be enough to only partially pay for motel living, so

762
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 1: I needed to quickly get a job. How can the

763
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,720
Speaker 1: world treat a mom like this? My adult kids arranged

764
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: to meet me and told me there's a reason even

765
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: their grandma called my ex an alley cat. Oh so

766
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: everyone know, like everyone knew he wasn't a good guy.

767
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 2: Because they have so much money. Yeah, he's able to

768
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 2: do this stuff to her. Ah.

769
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: They offered a sneak food from dining halls when I

770
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: visit and lend me clothes for interviews, but said that

771
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,919
Speaker 1: their data laid down the law with regards to sending money,

772
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: and they will not be sending me any money, and

773
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: that when they get jobs of their own, they will

774
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 1: also be prioritizing their own savings and I should not

775
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: expect any money, and that it's not my fault. But

776
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: at some point, the shows of fickle affection they've seen

777
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,919
Speaker 1: during their childhood, where they faced bullying and watched people

778
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: like me who were kind be scorned, jaded them. And

779
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: in all that instability, accomplishments and money were the only

780
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: constance and that had made them emotionally apathetic. But then

781
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: it's hard to fix because it goes hand in hand

782
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,840
Speaker 1: with the overact of having sense of self preservation they've acquired.

783
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 1: They blame it on watching how self preservation got their

784
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 1: dad far and the lack of it crushed others. So

785
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: what I think what they're saying is basically like, we

786
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: feel for you, but if we don't look out for ourselves,

787
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 1: we're not going to get anywhere, because that's what dad did.

788
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: And you were trying to look out for others and

789
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: look at where you.

790
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 2: Are now, and that's that's such an has now grown

791
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 2: a generation Yeah, of selfish children's selfish children.

792
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, it's sad. Wow, it really sucks that the

793
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 1: dad is trying to create this wedge between the children

794
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: and their mom. On one hand, I do understand not

795
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: wanting the children to be expected to pay for the

796
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 1: mom's living expenses. Yeah, but it doesn't seem like she

797
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: was asking for that much.

798
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 2: No, No, she probably doesn't even need that much. Yeah,

799
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 2: she just wants to like get on her feet. She

800
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 2: just wants an apartment took.

801
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, she just wants the space to live in. I

802
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 1: was able to sell the few things that my ex

803
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: did not bother to claw away from me. I have

804
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,479
Speaker 1: enough to book a room at a motel for about

805
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 1: a week, but then I don't know. I asked my

806
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: newly sixteen year old if she wanted to stay with

807
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: me when I get a motel room. She started crying

808
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 1: and begging her dad to let me stay. Oh. I

809
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: will fight for custody with every ounce of strength I have.

810
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 1: But I'm guessing her siblings are telling her to enlist

811
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: self preservation and stay with her dad. I understand, I do,

812
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: but she still needs her mom. I'm in contact with

813
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: a shelter. Hopefully I can find somebody who will fight

814
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 1: for me to get housing, But I don't know what

815
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: my future holds. And relevant comments been here once before.

816
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: You have no job or home, why would you be

817
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 1: granted custody? And Opie says, I'm working on finding a

818
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,359
Speaker 1: stable place for me and my daughter. This was really sad.

819
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 1: She was just used, used for twenty five years. All

820
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: she wanted was a relationship, you know, a marriage, and

821
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: then when she finally was able to ask for it,

822
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 1: he kicked her out. Yeah, and now she doesn't have

823
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: a place to live.

824
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 2: I feel like he's used the politics in his town

825
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 2: to put her in the situation. Yeah, Like, how does

826
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 2: a pastor know, yeah. Stuff.

827
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 1: I'm also wondering if he's threatened her before, and that's

828
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: also why she didn't leave, or she wasn't sure that

829
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,919
Speaker 1: she could make it on her own, or didn't want

830
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:18,760
Speaker 1: to lose the children.

831
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,720
Speaker 2: Bro, you're gonna be traveling, you don't need the house.

832
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, let her live there with your kid. Why is

833
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 1: your daughter going with you traveling?

834
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 2: Because oh, what's your kid gonna do? Yeah, you forget

835
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: about that pal. Yeah, it's gonna take your kid. Oh,

836
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: not your girlfriend, because you got rid of her. You

837
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 2: got rid of her, you got rid of the stay

838
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:37,439
Speaker 2: home mom.

839
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: No, it seems like he's very selfish.

840
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 2: Oh the sixteen year old kid, that's gonna be so

841
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,800
Speaker 2: tough on them. Yeah, on her. She's not gonna have

842
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 2: someone to be there and take care of her. She's

843
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,880
Speaker 2: gonna have to fin for herself. She's gonna have to

844
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 2: adult at.

845
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 1: Sixteen because he will not help her.

846
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,280
Speaker 2: Mom boom.

847
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: She's actively looking for shelters because he's evicting her.

848
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 2: Insanity. Yeah, insanity.

849
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the whole story. And I'm so sorry it was.

850
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: It was sad, yeah, and there was no uplifting. People

851
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: were wacks. People are whacked.

852
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: Pretty juicy though.

853
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 1: It was a juicy story, but hopefully there's another juicy

854
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: story that's less sad after this one.

855
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 2: Let's see.

856
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 1: Wow. Am I the ale for not coming to terms

857
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,720
Speaker 1: at the fact that my wife cheated on me fourteen

858
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: years ago before our marriage? So strange? Tadpole thirty seven

859
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: forty nine has the full story, so we should leap

860
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: to conclusions.

861
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 2: She stole that from me.

862
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 1: It would never I thirty five male, am married to

863
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: my wife thirty seven female, for eleven years and together

864
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 1: for fourteen. We have a beautiful seven year old daughter,

865
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: and our marriage has been great without any major problems

866
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 1: until last year. Last year I learned that my wife

867
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 1: cheated on me before our marriage. What if her friends

868
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: became religious and confessed her actions to me, which had

869
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 1: me confront my wife?

870
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 2: So it was even from your wife one that's.

871
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 1: Horrible, But also I feel like this is implying that

872
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 1: the friend prior to being religious, was just holding on

873
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 1: to that information for a couple of years and then

874
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: found God and realized that they couldn't keep up with

875
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: the lies anymore.

876
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,720
Speaker 2: Dude, It's it's for real, though. If you hold something

877
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 2: in your heart and you don't let go of it.

878
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: It will eat you, and they feel a way to

879
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 2: release it is to confess. Yeah, and that won't eat

880
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 2: at you anymore.

881
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: Confess all your lives. That's confess all your lives. She

882
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 1: was shocked that I learned it and apologized profusely about

883
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 1: her actions. However, she said, it's not something important now

884
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 1: because we have been going strong and have a family together.

885
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 2: I don't worry about it.

886
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: She's like, it's not even that important.

887
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 2: Just think it happened so long ago.

888
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 1: Why do you still care.

889
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 2: The friends religious, Yeah, so they should also be concerned

890
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 2: that it's infidelity, but they're like, I'm just like, it

891
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: really to use.

892
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 1: She told me I should have come to terms with

893
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: it since it happened four months into being exclusive and

894
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: she was a stupid girl out of college back then.

895
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 1: My mind told me the same. It happened fourteen years ago,

896
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: and we're happy right now. I decided to forgive her

897
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 1: and continue our usual life. Oh so we forgave her.

898
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: Sam's theory holds true in this scenario.

899
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: One hall pass, one hall pass.

900
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: Reality was not that great. Oh okay, okay, so many

901
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: tests and then, yeah, my mental health took a big

902
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 1: hit I realized it's not something that happened fourteen years

903
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 1: ago for me. The cheating happened for me when my

904
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 1: wife confirmed it. Yeah, that's so true. It didn't just

905
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 1: happen fourteen years ago. It happened right now.

906
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 2: The second he learned that information.

907
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was less confident. Could not have sex with

908
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: my wife. I just couldn't get an erection for her.

909
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 1: This turned into feeling disgusted being around her. I even

910
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: took a DNA and STD test secretly. Thankfully, our daughter

911
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: is mine and I'm clear of STDs. Then a year

912
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: of intense individual therapy started for me. I realized I

913
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: needed to change somehow. I was not the same person

914
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: I used to be. I also communicated my feelings to

915
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,399
Speaker 1: my wife, and after pushing a bit, we started going

916
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: to couples counseling too. However, at the end of everything,

917
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: I decided to proceed with divorce. Here are my reasonings. Wow,

918
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: so he tried to forgive her, realized he couldn't forgive her,

919
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: and is going through with a divorce. That's a turnaround.

920
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of I mean, obviously that hurts

921
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: to hear, but I think that's understandable. Where you try

922
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: to forgive them and you just can't.

923
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 2: Can't think of her right, Yeah, oh man.

924
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: But here are the reasonings. She not only cheated back then,

925
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 1: but lied to me for fourteen years exactly, And that's

926
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: what I was thinking too. She didn't confess the action herself.

927
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,399
Speaker 1: Even though she apologized, she dismissed the fact by saying

928
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: it's not important anymore. Yeah, she should have been begging,

929
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: begging him to forgive her, and she just kind of

930
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: lost over it. Two Young me was robbed of having

931
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 1: a choice. Cheating was and still is one of the

932
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: biggest deal breakers for me. If I knew it back then,

933
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,439
Speaker 1: I would have broken off. I'm happy with my life

934
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,399
Speaker 1: and I'm glad that our daughter came into the world.

935
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 1: She is the light that shines the brightest for me,

936
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 1: one of the biggest reasons I keep living. But I

937
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 1: still was robbed of a choice back then. Individual counseling

938
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: and marriage counseling could not solve our problems and my

939
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: feelings towards her. It also started affecting family life, which

940
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: could affect our daughter. I think our daughter would be

941
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 1: better off having us as co parents instead of living

942
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 1: in a broken family environment. Where consistent arguments are present.

943
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: Oh that's yeah. Oh, man, that's also a fair thing.

944
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: He's trying to look out for his daughter and knowing

945
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: that this will create more arguments in the future, is

946
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 1: not going to be a conducive living environment for a child.

947
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 2: I have friends where their lives had a lot of

948
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,720
Speaker 2: consistent arguments. But they're fine.

949
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: They're probably not they're doing great.

950
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 2: Mmm.

951
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: I don't know about I feel like having two loving

952
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: parents is amazing, and she will still have two loving parents,

953
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:13,240
Speaker 1: she just won't have to grow up in an environment

954
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: where they're screaming at each other all the time. And

955
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 1: also it's a you know, it's it's not just for her,

956
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: it's for him too. He can't continue that relationship. But

957
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: there's not one more reason. Sex life is basically dead

958
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: for me. We do have sex, but I feel like

959
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 1: those women on film slush series that just lay and

960
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: look at the ceiling waiting for it to be over.

961
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 1: The only difference is that I'm a man. I don't

962
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: even want non sexual gestures anymore. Last week I had

963
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: to sit down with my wife and explained everything I

964
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 1: wrote here in detail, my feelings, reasonings, and some other

965
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 1: private things. I've been talking to a lawyer for the

966
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 1: last month and papers are almost finalized. Fifty to fifty custody,

967
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 1: fifty to fifty, assets sharing, and as amicable as possible.

968
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,280
Speaker 1: I explained everything thoroughly and clearly to her. She freaked

969
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,839
Speaker 1: out and had a panic attack. We spent the night

970
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: at an er. She's bagging me to reconsider and not

971
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: throw away fourteen years. However, even though I would like

972
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 1: to stay, it will result in us being roommates and

973
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,320
Speaker 1: a broken family environment for our daughter. Am I in

974
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: the wrong here? And there are some relevant comments and

975
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:13,720
Speaker 1: another update.

976
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 2: This makes me think of the divorce video. We watched

977
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,320
Speaker 2: what divorce video during the passport bros.

978
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,879
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the divorce video is like rather she died

979
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:24,399
Speaker 1: than gonna do she said.

980
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 2: They said I would rather die.

981
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: They no, no, no, they were they were like, I

982
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 1: would rather my partner died. No, that's literally what they said.

983
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 2: No, I watched the video. They were just saying I'd

984
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 2: rather die than go through divorce. I don't remember that

985
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 2: she's slipping the script.

986
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:42,280
Speaker 1: I'm flipping the skill, okay, but anyway, it's pretty dramatic.

987
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,920
Speaker 2: Referencing to the yes to the divorce divorce. So much

988
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 2: money goes into divorce.

989
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 1: It's expensive, it's crazy.

990
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 2: It makes me scared to get married. Maybe I do

991
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 2: what that other guy did.

992
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: What did the other guy do?

993
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: Just oh, no boyfriend, girlfriend and then he yeah, and

994
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 2: he didn't have to split assets or any You just

995
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: gotta makes That's horrible.

996
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: It is a horrible mindset, I know. But the world's spary, Sophia.

997
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,959
Speaker 1: I don't want to be worced. I can't.

998
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 2: I literally can't even think of the thought of being divorced.

999
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: Just don't get divorced.

1000
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 2: I can't predict that.

1001
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 1: Just promote happy, healthy less.

1002
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 2: What are the percentages of people getting divorced fifty percent?

1003
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: It's a point tost it's either me or my brother

1004
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: getting divorced.

1005
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. Season thirty four to thirty three says this

1006
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: is tough. On one hand, I wouldn't break it up

1007
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: over this specific instance. But your feelings are valid, and

1008
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 1: you make great points regarding how she lied by a

1009
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: mission and withheld the choice from you fourteen years ago.

1010
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: Did you communicate to her that you now resent her

1011
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: and are no longer attracted her? Slash can't perform because

1012
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 1: of what she did, Opie says, yes, I did communicate,

1013
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: both during marriage counseling and one on one discussions. It's

1014
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: not even being able to perform. The bad thing is

1015
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 1: that I don't even want to hug hold hands anymore.

1016
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: Being present around her is uncomfortable too. Oh that's tough, Okay,

1017
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: Season says Damn. I'm sorry to hear that. If the

1018
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 1: pain and hatred is that strong, then there isn't much

1019
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: point in staying. I'm assuming personal therapy didn't help you

1020
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 1: overcome that pain and hatred, Opie said. I would not

1021
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 1: say hatred, but just uncomfortableness. Therapy did not help so

1022
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 1: far for that feeling. It solved my initial anger and

1023
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: I came to terms with the reality. But that's it.

1024
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: And then clarification on the cheating incident. It happened on

1025
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: a girl's trip they went together. It was confirmed by

1026
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,839
Speaker 1: my wife. Her friend told me she could not hold

1027
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: the secret of a sin anymore and decided to confess survive.

1028
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me go homewreck real quick because I feel

1029
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 2: bad about myself.

1030
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1031
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 2: Man, if you would have felt bad about your soul first,

1032
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 2: I should have talked to longer. That family would have

1033
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 2: still been happy. Yeah.

1034
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: No, I think it's fair that she I don't know,

1035
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: man Like. On one part, I understand that she was like,

1036
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: I need to tell them. It's horrible that she didn't

1037
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: tell them a family. Yeah, But she also should have

1038
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 1: gone to the wife first too and been like, you

1039
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: need to tell him or I will.

1040
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, give that ultimatum. Not impressed by how

1041
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 2: the wife first reacted to it. No, and then the

1042
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 2: second reaction was mentioning divorce. Yeah, and then she had

1043
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 2: a panic attack. Perhaps perhaps you should have felt a

1044
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 2: little bit more sorry as yeah, yeah, been like, oh,

1045
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 2: some things have consequences.

1046
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:30,359
Speaker 1: Your actions have consequences. And on the other hand, yes,

1047
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 1: on the other hand, she was in college.

1048
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 2: She's a stupid girl.

1049
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 1: I think people agree in the comments that it's less

1050
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 1: about the cheating and more that she lied about it

1051
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,320
Speaker 1: for fourteen years. Okay, the lying but survived ten fourteen

1052
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 1: says but was it before you were officially a couple.

1053
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 1: If you had not declared yourself as a couple yet,

1054
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: it's not really fair at all. If you were, that's

1055
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: a really tough one. Most likely it would be a

1056
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,439
Speaker 1: deal breaker for me, and Opie says, about four months

1057
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: into being exclusive, slash couple girlfriend and boyfriend, so it's

1058
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:01,720
Speaker 1: not before being girlfriend and boyfriend and there is an update. Firstly,

1059
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone for the ideas and input

1060
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 1: about my situation. Some people reached out to me on

1061
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: Reddit chat to state their opinions and we had long talks.

1062
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: They've been incredibly helpful and I want to thank them

1063
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: especially some people asked if we want to counseling together. Yes,

1064
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: We've been visiting a counselor for over a year now,

1065
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: on top of my individual therapy. I understand blowing up

1066
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: a marriage for something that happened fourteen years ago is

1067
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 1: not logical. However, my feelings towards my wife got even

1068
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: worse after counseling and therapy. It started with not being

1069
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 1: able to trust her, converted to not wanting sex, then

1070
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 1: not wanting non sexual gestures, and finally I'm not even

1071
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 1: comfortable to be in the same place as her. We

1072
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,320
Speaker 1: have been less than roommates in the last couple of months.

1073
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 1: I don't hate her or resent her, but I just

1074
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,359
Speaker 1: cannot shake off the feelings. I would say I forgave her,

1075
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 1: but it's not about forgiving anymore. When there are no

1076
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: feelings in love. I do not want my daughter to

1077
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 1: grow up in such an environment. I know how hurtful

1078
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: it can be. I experienced a similar situation with my parents,

1079
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 1: only the genders reversed living in such an environment breaks

1080
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,439
Speaker 1: she was a child and teen. I would have much

1081
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 1: preferred if my mother just divorced my dad instead of staying.

1082
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 1: For my sake. These being said, I had a long

1083
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 1: talk with my wife this morning. She has not been

1084
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: eating munch since visiting er, and I'm concerned for her

1085
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 1: well being in safety. Some editors who reached out suggested

1086
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,319
Speaker 1: considering separation before proceeding with a divorce and see if

1087
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 1: my feelings would change. That is very logical. Actually, I

1088
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: propose this idea to my wife and she was happy

1089
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 1: to hear it. I have an upcoming business trip to

1090
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: Netherlands next week, and I am planning to extend my

1091
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,879
Speaker 1: stay and stay with my sister once i'm back. Wife

1092
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: abruptly suggested one sided open marriage, and I can do

1093
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 1: what I want on that business trip if it'll save

1094
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 1: the relationship, make us even slash change my feelings. Aw oh,

1095
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the best. I rejected because

1096
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with that even if it

1097
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: had changed something for me, it would devastate her knowing

1098
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: I cheated on her in the future. It's not something

1099
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 1: easy to get over and not an easy decision. That

1100
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 1: is all the update. Will try separation for a while,

1101
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,399
Speaker 1: and depending on the result, I'll make my decision. Thank

1102
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: you for the help and opinions. These are so sad?

1103
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: Why were those stories both so sad?

1104
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 2: I had to put get a theme together and this

1105
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 2: was the theme.

1106
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 1: This was the theme sadness?

1107
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 2: What is the theme for this? Depress proposals? But I

1108
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 2: guess it's sad.

1109
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 1: It's sadness. Yeah, yike. I'm glad that they're starting with

1110
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:27,240
Speaker 1: separation before they proceed.

1111
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 2: Smart and smart.

1112
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 1: I think that is smart after a fourteen year relationship

1113
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: where you have a child. But I think at the

1114
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: end of it, if he realizes that it's still well working,

1115
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 1: I think divorces. Yeah the right option. Yeah, Oh so sad.

1116
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:43,359
Speaker 2: Why do people have to be this way?

1117
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: Why do people have to stop cheating? Stop it? Stop it?

1118
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 1: Just just talk to your partner, talk, break up with them,

1119
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 1: or go on a break.

1120
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 2: I don't know. We go figure it out, figure it out.

1121
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 2: Listen to Sophia. Everything