Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Nick Here's Nicky. Hello here I am.
Speaker 1: It's a Nicki Glazer podcast. It is Tuesday. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the show. I am still in Los Angeles, California. I'm
Speaker 1: joined by Andrew. He is in St. Louis. Noah is
Speaker 1: in New York. I believe still Um and yeah, we're
Speaker 1: just scat heard holding it down on every side. Um,
Speaker 1: it's I have a crank in my crank. Yeah, craig,
Speaker 1: crank in my neck. Crank crack, crinkle crackle. Wait, wait,
Speaker 1: what's the hat you were wearing? Stl Is there a
Speaker 1: duck on? That? Is the first as sid dust? I
Speaker 1: guess so I never even noticed until you just said it.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that stands for. I bought it
Speaker 1: at a golf store. It's great, great material. You know what.
Speaker 1: I don't look for ducks. You know that if you
Speaker 1: know that if there's a bird that I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a discount. They how many vaginas there on that? Yes?
Speaker 1: I don't know that. She definitely closed it's a duck
Speaker 1: right like I can barely see it might be, but
Speaker 1: you did not recognize that that was a duck. You
Speaker 1: just like the material of that? Are you just I
Speaker 1: don't understand how you miss that that's a duck. Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's a swan. I think it's a swan,
Speaker 1: well whatever, some kind of you know, nautical avian. I
Speaker 1: think a swan would make sense because it starts with
Speaker 1: an s S. Maybe no STL, but I think that, well,
Speaker 1: what does it represent? Where did you get a golf
Speaker 1: store at the Forest Park golf course? Uh? Great material?
Speaker 1: They don't. I think they got more ducks and worst
Speaker 1: park than swamps, so it might be that's good point,
Speaker 1: great material. So you were just about the material. You
Speaker 1: didn't really look at it, dude. I have a very sweaty,
Speaker 1: swampy head with that turns. It turns hats and to
Speaker 1: come rags. Every hat I had it looks like I
Speaker 1: jizzed all over it. And I'm like, this is my
Speaker 1: look because why does sweat turn white? I don't know,
Speaker 1: because come, I think it's to come. Do you ever
Speaker 1: wash them? Yeah? I do? But you know an hour
Speaker 1: later it's you know, it looks like a buffalo jizz
Speaker 1: on my head. And that one is just that one
Speaker 1: doesn't absorb. That doesn't happen to come on this thing
Speaker 1: many times the duck is like, I don't give a fuck. Uh.
Speaker 1: I just love the idea of wearing something that you
Speaker 1: don't know anything about like that. It has a little
Speaker 1: cute duck like boys are just so unobserved it in
Speaker 1: that way. I think that, yeah, some people just you
Speaker 1: just would never even look at that. I mean, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm material. It's so clearly it's so and he's he's
Speaker 1: hanging his head and shame, but you really are looking Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: that is It's so. It's almost looks like duck t L.
Speaker 1: Now that I look at it, I feel like the
Speaker 1: T and d L are also animals. Do you like
Speaker 1: what people call St? Louis the lou? Do you like s?
Speaker 1: T L? What do you like the lue? I mean,
Speaker 1: and I'm proud Nelly really did it, But I don't
Speaker 1: really hear that in conversation that people do it a lot.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard it. I don't think and like regular
Speaker 1: comment I guess when people, Yeah, maybe not. I'm getting
Speaker 1: a buzzing in my ear as anyone else getting a buzzing. No, no,
Speaker 1: God cranking my neck at a buzz in my ear? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just know that. Chris does not like the lou
Speaker 1: he likes St. L I don't care either way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't really think about that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. But you know, I just don't like, Well,
Speaker 1: you're wearing a dug of the hat on it and
Speaker 1: you didn't know. I'm trying to think of, like if
Speaker 1: I grew up here, would I be annoyed by more things? Probably?
Speaker 1: You know, Like I mean, have you caught on too,
Speaker 1: Like the fact that everyone from St. Louis asked each
Speaker 1: other where they went to high school? Is that like
Speaker 1: a thing? You know? Now, as someone who's lived in St.
Speaker 1: Louis for two years, trying to think what I like?
Speaker 1: Do you know things about St. Louis, like you know, stereotypes?
Speaker 1: Not really. I just feel like people can't drive here.
Speaker 1: People drive without license plates. There's holes in the roads
Speaker 1: that will never be fixed. The buildings look like they've
Speaker 1: caught fire and then no one ever put them out.
Speaker 1: Certain parts of town. Yeah, yeah, you put up that
Speaker 1: that post about shooting on St. Louis and how the
Speaker 1: people in Ukraine are like, oh my god, there's a
Speaker 1: worse place. Yeah, it's just certain parts of St. Louis.
Speaker 1: I just want to say that, like you've driven this,
Speaker 1: this is the place you see on when you're driving
Speaker 1: to the airport. Yes, like a lot of St. Louis.
Speaker 1: Most of St. Louis Is not does not look like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean did joke when it when it hit as
Speaker 1: hard though, if I was like this air between Fifth
Speaker 1: Street and see you know what. But I just want
Speaker 1: to be clear that St. Louis I never growing up.
Speaker 1: I never saw a bad part of St. Louis when
Speaker 1: you grew up kind of in the suburb you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we would go to the city. If you drive
Speaker 1: from the suburbs of the city, you don't see a
Speaker 1: bad place. It's like, if you take a short cut
Speaker 1: from the where we live to the airport, you're going
Speaker 1: to drive through some abandoned factory. I had a moment.
Speaker 1: Is that where where you're seeing it? Yeah, when you
Speaker 1: drive to the airport, if you don't go on the
Speaker 1: main road. Um, I went, well, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: If you take the shortcut mile shortcut. And there was
Speaker 1: like four teenagers who had masks on not for COVID really,
Speaker 1: you know, like it was like Halloween, it was Halloween early.
Speaker 1: They I just that's another saying those things we celebrated.
Speaker 1: I put my car. I put my car because there
Speaker 1: was someone in front of me in reverse, ready to
Speaker 1: reverse out of trouble. Like I don't know. I was scared.
Speaker 1: I don't pull it too closely because you won't be
Speaker 1: able to get out of it. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if that would work. I feel like I did your
Speaker 1: reverse into like a tree, and then they'd laugh at
Speaker 1: me and go, we weren't even going to rob you.
Speaker 1: You were reversing to reverse out of it. Why don't
Speaker 1: you reverse to that you can pull forward out? I
Speaker 1: guess so, I mean now that you know, I could
Speaker 1: have used it. You know, so you were pulled up
Speaker 1: to someone too closely at a light, and then you
Speaker 1: reversed so that you could reverse. I was just ready
Speaker 1: to reverse. I threw in reverse, ready to go. But
Speaker 1: then that's insane, almost just you forgot that you were
Speaker 1: in reverse. It's one of those moments where you're like,
Speaker 1: am I being not racist? But like in my am
Speaker 1: I judging too harshly? Or should you be ready? You know?
Speaker 1: It's like one of those things. No, there's been a
Speaker 1: lot of there's a lot of carjackings in St Louis.
Speaker 1: It's like a thing that in shootings and you know
Speaker 1: in certain parts of town. Yeah, it's ways, we'll just
Speaker 1: take you through those parts of town with no problem.
Speaker 1: You'll save two minutes getting to the airport. But then
Speaker 1: you won't even love the idea that because in on
Speaker 1: it there like like they're in near ear. And third
Speaker 1: there's a guy in a corala and he's in reverse
Speaker 1: but he can't really reverse because he's a loser. You
Speaker 1: should rob him and make fun of his nipples while
Speaker 1: you're at it, And it's like, what, how did you know? Ways? How?
Speaker 1: It's like yesterday, I mean, are you are you encounter
Speaker 1: you encounter a lot of crime there? I mean she
Speaker 1: you got your windows smashed twice windows, I got my
Speaker 1: phone stolen, your phone stolen, nothing like obviously too bad?
Speaker 1: You look up, I had because able to duck again.
Speaker 1: Um I uh, I just feel like I'm talking to
Speaker 1: a depressed teenager, like, hey, I'm old, will you look
Speaker 1: at me? We're talking about your grad. Um. Yesterday we
Speaker 1: ordered food from a restaurant and the door dash person
Speaker 1: stole our food. I've never had that happen. They just
Speaker 1: they didn't. So when they pick up the order. They
Speaker 1: have to confirm it. The guy never confirmed it. Just
Speaker 1: I just see him eating our food somewhewhere, like in
Speaker 1: an alley. I don't know how that happens. I'm just
Speaker 1: assuming that he was eating it because he stole our food,
Speaker 1: like and I don't know what chicken wings and a
Speaker 1: kid's pizza and uh and a salad. God, he's still
Speaker 1: from a child. Yeah, that's even worse, Like he didn't
Speaker 1: know what was going to do adults. Maybe he was
Speaker 1: feeding and I feel bad. Maybe so we called so
Speaker 1: did you get your money? Hours later, you know, called
Speaker 1: the restaurant. They put on the hold for like twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: and then the restaurants don't call the restaurant. They have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. They're just no, but they'll know,
Speaker 1: you know that they know if the order guy. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that the DoorDash by criminal. I don't know that.
Speaker 1: You can't just call door dash. Why not because on
Speaker 1: the app it says it's headed your way and you
Speaker 1: can track it up. But then it kept going up
Speaker 1: and then it just it was picked up. But then
Speaker 1: just then so it got picked up. So don't call
Speaker 1: the restaurant. The restaurants. Open the restaurant, we'll have some answers.
Speaker 1: Wait that the guy looked a certain way, so then
Speaker 1: you can call the cops and they don't give a
Speaker 1: ship like that. What do you mean, I'm not calling
Speaker 1: the restaurant, you think restaurant. All I'm saying is that
Speaker 1: if you want to get your money back, you called DoorDash.
Speaker 1: You don't, and you don't call the restaurant. That's just
Speaker 1: a waste of your time, because did they give you
Speaker 1: your money back to the restaurant give your money back?
Speaker 1: Of course not no, No, if anything, they charge more. No.
Speaker 1: We did learn from the restaurant they really washed their hands.
Speaker 1: Event from the restaurant. It's the only time you at
Speaker 1: the restaurant to wash their hands before they make your food.
Speaker 1: What we learned though, is that they remade the order
Speaker 1: and gave it to someone else that did confirm. So
Speaker 1: we did find that out, so we knew our order
Speaker 1: was finally coming with a different door Dash person. Right
Speaker 1: then we finally wrote door Dash. They called us. They're like,
Speaker 1: we'll cancel your order. We're like, we don't want to
Speaker 1: cancel it. We want the food. They gave us forty
Speaker 1: dollars on door dash. So so you just ordered it again. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't order again, and finally came two hours later
Speaker 1: and we the order was seventy bucks and it was
Speaker 1: forty and they gave us forty back. They didn't even
Speaker 1: give us the floor. Okay, so you so they gave
Speaker 1: you forty dollars for your weight time because you got
Speaker 1: it a lot later. Yeah, I mean, has that ever
Speaker 1: happened to you? I mean, it's it's well my uber eats. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The other night they they here in l A. They
Speaker 1: said they dropped it off and I was communicated chatting
Speaker 1: with the guy because I was like, bring it to
Speaker 1: the front desk, just say it's for so and so
Speaker 1: and um, and then he was like I did, and
Speaker 1: then I called down and there's it's nowhere to be seen.
Speaker 1: And so I just you know, I just I know
Speaker 1: that the headache of calling the rest I'm first of all,
Speaker 1: I never called the restaurant because that is not how
Speaker 1: you handle these things. But I would. I called I
Speaker 1: was gonna go through the Uber eating and I just
Speaker 1: go no, I'll just order it again, like this is
Speaker 1: it probably went to someone who needed it. It's fine,
Speaker 1: and you know, I just uh, I just said, I
Speaker 1: guess I'm I didn't need that food tonight and I
Speaker 1: just ate the snack bar um. And then the other
Speaker 1: night in St. Louis, they dropped it off and they
Speaker 1: take a picture when it lands, which is helpful because
Speaker 1: then you have proof that it is somewhere. And I
Speaker 1: guess they could take a picture and then pick it
Speaker 1: back up we get and take it, but they had
Speaker 1: a picture, and so I sent Chris to go down
Speaker 1: and get it, and he was like, it isn't here,
Speaker 1: and I was like, there is a picture of it there.
Speaker 1: And then I looked at the picture and it was
Speaker 1: not the front desk of our of our building, and
Speaker 1: so I was like, oh, fox a way to study
Speaker 1: the picture for ideas of where this food could be.
Speaker 1: So I knew it was at a hotel because it
Speaker 1: was the very side of a on the picture, there
Speaker 1: was a very It was like I was doing an investigation.
Speaker 1: There was just a liver of a Hilton Rewards Honors
Speaker 1: member plaque and I know it from checking into so
Speaker 1: many fuckings. And so then I looked and I was like,
Speaker 1: who is in the Hilton Rewards program within a vicinity?
Speaker 1: And we had a couple of hotels, and so I
Speaker 1: called them all and UM and Chris went on foot
Speaker 1: to go look at each hotel and then we finally
Speaker 1: tracked it down their tricks like that, yeah we got it,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you the food taste better, having like
Speaker 1: thought you lost it, and then I felt like a hunt.
Speaker 1: You're so privileged to be able to even yeah, like yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: you made an effort. You figured it out through like
Speaker 1: the photo and what's in the background, and like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I had to. I knew it was going to be
Speaker 1: because I saw him driving and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: he definitely brought it somewhere. I looked at the address
Speaker 1: and I was like, which hotel has my similar kind
Speaker 1: of address? And it was across the street. But it
Speaker 1: was just like, do you know that on one side
Speaker 1: of the street or even numbers and on the other
Speaker 1: side of the street are always going to be odd numbers?
Speaker 1: Do you know that? Of that? Do you do you
Speaker 1: know that? Like yeah, or do you know that? So
Speaker 1: like if you're looking for address that's nine thirty two
Speaker 1: and on one side you're slowing down to look and
Speaker 1: you all you see eight thirty nine, it's got to
Speaker 1: be on the other side. So many people do not
Speaker 1: know that. And I'm not saying like there's always like
Speaker 1: a certain side it's on, whether it's like what direction
Speaker 1: it is, and I don't know that. But I do
Speaker 1: know if I look on one side of the street
Speaker 1: and it's, um, well, that would help to know where
Speaker 1: my pries. Um. If yeah, on one side of the
Speaker 1: street there's odd numbers and you're looking for an even address,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be on the other side street. The problem is,
Speaker 1: I don't even think people know what odd and even
Speaker 1: numbers are anymore. I think that's how stupid people. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: prime numbers are always gonna be catty corner. And my god,
Speaker 1: I had a dream where I was teaching someone what
Speaker 1: a prime number was. The other day Amazon free shipping
Speaker 1: numbers that you get free shipped. Um. I think I
Speaker 1: was just teaching them like it's only divisible by itself
Speaker 1: and one. I think I said that, and I really
Speaker 1: wasn't even sure if that was. I think I learned
Speaker 1: prime numbers way too late in life. I missed that
Speaker 1: day of school and then I had to like fake
Speaker 1: like I knew what they were for so many grades.
Speaker 1: And then eventually I had to just like be honest
Speaker 1: with someone and be like awesome. It was a very
Speaker 1: big insecurity also. I mean I get it. Like it's
Speaker 1: tough though sometimes with these bigger companies because you want
Speaker 1: to talk to someone and you know what, door Dash
Speaker 1: did a good job of getting back and like communicating,
Speaker 1: but sometimes you don't even know. You write customer service
Speaker 1: and they put you to someone I don't know. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's very hard to talk to corporate people and figure
Speaker 1: things out in a timely manner, and you know what
Speaker 1: it is, they probably have so many issues that they're like,
Speaker 1: we we gotta be good at this. Like well, it's
Speaker 1: like Amazon, like they they make so much fucking money
Speaker 1: and have so many orders at if they you know,
Speaker 1: I returned that pink Mike and they were like, are
Speaker 1: you going to return it? And I'm like, uh huh,
Speaker 1: and they're like, okay, here's your money back, so you're
Speaker 1: where you're gonna return And I'm like, if you want
Speaker 1: that poop Mike back, I will. I never did, and
Speaker 1: I think I still got the money back. But like
Speaker 1: they and when you return things they've tracked on before
Speaker 1: and it all ends up in a landfill they lose
Speaker 1: money by restocking things. It's a waste of their time
Speaker 1: and energy and um, and so they just throw it away.
Speaker 1: It doesn't they have enough money that you can just
Speaker 1: return stuff. You don't have to return stuff. They'll just
Speaker 1: go here's here, we'll send it again, especially the volume
Speaker 1: that I buy from Amazon. I think that I am
Speaker 1: probably aside from like actual companies spend more money there
Speaker 1: than anyone and they just go get just give this
Speaker 1: girl whatever she wants. At this point, they probably probably
Speaker 1: have your own like packing station for you here in St. Louis.
Speaker 1: And I'm not someone whom yeah, probably, I'm not someone
Speaker 1: who complains a lot about like getting refunds kind of.
Speaker 1: I just feel like that's more, that's more of my
Speaker 1: time and effort than actually getting the three dollars back
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. Like there are times times they
Speaker 1: get over charged for things, and I'm just like I
Speaker 1: wish it was a part of my personality to like
Speaker 1: fight for what's right. And like I think I was
Speaker 1: just thinking the other day, but I never look at
Speaker 1: a hotel like like I never check out of a
Speaker 1: hotel and see all the charges and I guarantee you
Speaker 1: I've been charged so many times for stuff that i'd
Speaker 1: either many bar stuff or even you know, a lot
Speaker 1: of times places are I put down my credit card
Speaker 1: for incidentals, but it's being covered by the business that's
Speaker 1: flying me there, And I bet I've paid for hotels
Speaker 1: before just because I haven't checked that stuff. I'm just
Speaker 1: so bad about that. I always found that when I
Speaker 1: have to call and like dispute a charge or something,
Speaker 1: I always lead with why I'm calling, and then I
Speaker 1: say are you able to help me with that? And
Speaker 1: then just like being courteous and saying, oh man, you know,
Speaker 1: like I appreciate this so much, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for your help. It goes such a long way that yes,
Speaker 1: they just want to help you because they probably deal
Speaker 1: with assholes who yell at them when they have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with it. Oh, they want to keep you
Speaker 1: on the line because you're just keeping them from talking
Speaker 1: to another asshole who's not appreciative. Yeah, it's best friends.
Speaker 1: At the end, it's like we'll have a great day. Gal.
Speaker 1: I just feel like some of these companies though, like
Speaker 1: if you don't pay them, they don't treat you polite,
Speaker 1: you know, like Verizon, like they'll be like we're shutting
Speaker 1: you down in a day if you don't fucking pay,
Speaker 1: like it feels very like uh accute, like accusator. I
Speaker 1: don't know Verizon, if I don't pay, like they're like
Speaker 1: twenty four hours, like they give you a time limit,
Speaker 1: like they're a bully, And I feel like they don't
Speaker 1: give a shit about you as a customer a lot
Speaker 1: of times. So I think that's why a lot of
Speaker 1: people give them shipped back, you know, Like I don't
Speaker 1: think companies are like, oh oh you can't afford No.
Speaker 1: People get mad at do you ever set up just
Speaker 1: like automatic pay? Though I've done it like three times
Speaker 1: and I know it takes two seconds and I should
Speaker 1: do it, and I just my brain doesn't. So every month,
Speaker 1: you like you have to actually go in and pay
Speaker 1: that I get angry and wait, Andrew, that's insane. This
Speaker 1: is hey, Look, some of us just believe you. Do
Speaker 1: you have an alarm on your phone? No? I don't. Seriously,
Speaker 1: do you have a thing on your phone that do
Speaker 1: you do this with like your like the bills, like
Speaker 1: your internet and your cable. You don't do automatic pay
Speaker 1: for anything for you have a reminder on your phone? No? Nothing,
Speaker 1: and I'd forget the path reason for this. I'm a
Speaker 1: d D, I would say, or not planning being a
Speaker 1: PROGRASSI they what if when you call next time to
Speaker 1: pay it, you just say, hey, can I do automatic pay?
Speaker 1: What's presenting that the three seconds of setting up automatic pay.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing too, I just lost my walking. There's
Speaker 1: some fear you're gonna feel you lost. I haven't lost
Speaker 1: my wallet. You know, I used to drink a lot,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if this happened to you. Probably did.
Speaker 1: You'd lose your debit card a lot and and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't know what bar was actually get to follow the
Speaker 1: stamps on your hand like it was a man, like
Speaker 1: that's how you figure out where your food. You're looking
Speaker 1: for uper eats Bay. And I would. I would lose
Speaker 1: my debit card like once every two weeks, like, but
Speaker 1: I haven't lost this one for like five years. And
Speaker 1: uh I lost my wallet at because I lost at
Speaker 1: the golf course, completely sober, and uh I couldn't find it.
Speaker 1: And I get a d M from a guy saying
Speaker 1: that his father, who has dementia, brought home my wallet
Speaker 1: from the golf course and it was just sitting on
Speaker 1: their kitchen counter, and the mom life sounded and she
Speaker 1: didn't know how it got She thought an intruder. Intruder
Speaker 1: came into the house and just brought it all and
Speaker 1: he didn't. And then poor dad didn't know because he
Speaker 1: has dementia where it came from, and so you probably
Speaker 1: just had it on the counter or something and then
Speaker 1: meant to Dad just picked it up and stole it excellently.
Speaker 1: We're on purpose and he's using as an excuse. But um,
Speaker 1: so then the guy goes, I'll come and bring you
Speaker 1: to wallet. So I mean him at Starbucks, and it's
Speaker 1: like a young guy who's and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was like, thank you so much, you know, I
Speaker 1: left it here, and I started I started like doing
Speaker 1: like this whole story of like, you know, I left
Speaker 1: it there, and then I looked there and I was
Speaker 1: wondering why. And this whole time, I'm already this man
Speaker 1: has a demented dad. He doesn't need any of this.
Speaker 1: I'm so bored already the explanation. So you have to
Speaker 1: make yourself feel better. You didn't lose it. It was whatever.
Speaker 1: It was just like just nervous, just like like being
Speaker 1: thankful you know being like, this is why it was
Speaker 1: so hard for me that day, even though your dead.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Like, okay, dude, I don't need to
Speaker 1: know the story. Here's your wallet. Get the I was like,
Speaker 1: he probably wants to my dad's stories times a day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you think he knew you? I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: he knew he knew through it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: he wasn't following me. Guy's got a blue checkmark. He
Speaker 1: did unfollowed me? Probably, dude. It was just so funny.
Speaker 1: And then I get the wallet. Finally, I canceled the
Speaker 1: credit card right away or debit card, so I have
Speaker 1: a digital card now on my phone. And then I
Speaker 1: lost my wallet a day later. Now I can't find it.
Speaker 1: WHOA what you You lost your wallet? Wallet? Oh ship,
Speaker 1: I don't know what do you do? You gotta license
Speaker 1: in Missouri? Is it hard to go to d m V?
Speaker 1: Did you? Are you not paying attention? We have to
Speaker 1: go to break. We'll come right back after this. Do
Speaker 1: you not see the porch he's been waving for like
Speaker 1: about I thought it's a beak for the bird on
Speaker 1: my app Get back to the dock and we're back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I lose my ship all the time you had to
Speaker 1: go to dm Well this was months ago, but I
Speaker 1: remember you being shocked how easy it was to get
Speaker 1: the license, right. Um, that wasn't me. I think it was.
Speaker 1: I haven't been to the d m V in so long.
Speaker 1: This was like two years ago when you to St. Louis. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I still have my same picture from Um when
Speaker 1: I was there years and years ago. What happened to
Speaker 1: your neck? I don't know. I woke a little of
Speaker 1: the night and it's just I you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: in that. I just don't want to give credence to
Speaker 1: it because it's not a real physical injury. I hate
Speaker 1: when people are like, I slept on my neck weird.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm stressed. I'm depressed. I'm pressed. Um I
Speaker 1: did not, Yeah, I stopped in Maybe this how I sleppt.
Speaker 1: I slept in a nest. Um quack quack. Um. I
Speaker 1: cannot laugh. Um my neck as a thing in it? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. In the middle of the night it started.
Speaker 1: And by the middle of the night I went to
Speaker 1: bed last night at seven thirty p m. And um,
Speaker 1: and then woke up and they get like ten and
Speaker 1: then went back to bed immediately and then woke up
Speaker 1: again at two and then slept until eight, like I
Speaker 1: slept twelve hours. I've been um pretty depressed and just
Speaker 1: hating my life recently, but for no reason kind of thing.
Speaker 1: And so I think it's just a materializing of that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but I noticed I
Speaker 1: don't want to go get it worked on. Around your period,
Speaker 1: there's a lot a lot of like negative and and
Speaker 1: and you feel very depressed around your parent I've been
Speaker 1: tracking it recently and it's honestly that every other day
Speaker 1: I want to die. Um. It's like I think, because
Speaker 1: I've been tracking it period, your period just hanging out
Speaker 1: somewhere in a bag. My period is it's I don't
Speaker 1: know what's going on nothing. Can you know what I think? Oh,
Speaker 1: she's hurting. Boy, here's a play by play. I am
Speaker 1: not generating. It is so crazy. Yeah, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find a place where it doesn't hurt. But it's like
Speaker 1: even talking hurts it. Um. Yeah, I've just been um
Speaker 1: coming down with something all weekend. Been Really is it
Speaker 1: when you have such a big high? I mean, you
Speaker 1: had such a huge high last week, I can only imagine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think these highs might be part of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like we're talking about doing ecstasy and how people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: if you do ectasy the next day, you like literally
Speaker 1: are suicidal. And I've always been like, well, I can't
Speaker 1: funk with that stuff because that's how I feel a
Speaker 1: lot of times. And I realized like, yeah, it might
Speaker 1: be that. But the thing is, I don't get like
Speaker 1: when for Kimmel or whatever, there was no part of
Speaker 1: me that's like, oh my god, this is the best
Speaker 1: thing that's ever gonna happen to me. I like, I'm
Speaker 1: not even walking on sunshine because I know that nothing
Speaker 1: matters and it doesn't really. It's fun to do and
Speaker 1: it was so fun, and it's a lot of like um,
Speaker 1: I guess nerves or like you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: effort goes into it and a lot of energy. But
Speaker 1: only for two days of my life did a lot
Speaker 1: of energy go towards that. It wasn't like it was
Speaker 1: days and days of just me like biting my finger
Speaker 1: nails and being like so nervous and thinking about it
Speaker 1: and not having to focus on anything else. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've had things like that in my life where it's
Speaker 1: like my specials and stuff where it's been like weeks
Speaker 1: of like, oh my god, this thing is coming up
Speaker 1: well for me was not that. It was just like
Speaker 1: wait till you get to it, it'll be fun and
Speaker 1: then it'll be done. And that's what it was. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: almost immediately afterwards, it was a dark, dark weekend of
Speaker 1: just a lot of um and I can't even cry.
Speaker 1: That's the problem I'm so I've been reading about depression
Speaker 1: all weekend because I'm just trying to find anything that
Speaker 1: makes me feel like I'm not insane for the way
Speaker 1: I'm feeling. Like all I want to read about is
Speaker 1: other people that are depressed to just make me feel
Speaker 1: less alone, I guess, and every meme about depression is
Speaker 1: about people crying, and I just don't. I don't relate
Speaker 1: to that at all. I'm looking for any meme about
Speaker 1: people who are just numb that like, don't I can't
Speaker 1: wait to not talk for three weeks because it's like
Speaker 1: how I really feel right now is like I don't
Speaker 1: wanna hang out with friends. I don't wanna. Um. I
Speaker 1: did do an event on Saturday night where I had
Speaker 1: to effort this charity animal charity. Yeah, and man, that
Speaker 1: felt like I would have rather climbed a mountain, like
Speaker 1: I felt like I was seriously, yeah, I honestly, I
Speaker 1: cannot believe the amount of effort it took, Like two
Speaker 1: I felt like I needed a shirt, but to like
Speaker 1: pull the sides of my mouth up to a smark,
Speaker 1: like to just be nice to people, like even getting
Speaker 1: on the elevator and being like hi, like that, And
Speaker 1: it's such a lame thing to say because people like
Speaker 1: have so I just every time I'm depressed, I just cry,
Speaker 1: like I cry on the inside thinking of people who
Speaker 1: have children or who have um just like you know,
Speaker 1: hospitality jobs or you know, yeah, I mean even that
Speaker 1: that would be a good job for me when I'm depressed,
Speaker 1: because you don't need to be you don't need to
Speaker 1: see anyone necessarily. It's a lot of just like knocking
Speaker 1: and just handing off and you know you're I guess
Speaker 1: you get reviewed on your so I guess yeah. But
Speaker 1: like I just I really think about mothers and father
Speaker 1: not really father having to be there for a three
Speaker 1: year old, like I wouldn't be able to do it.
Speaker 1: Like I I just write to my friends and I'm like,
Speaker 1: how does anyone ever think that they could be a
Speaker 1: mother if they like. And then I realized people don't
Speaker 1: get depressed like I do, and so it's just it's
Speaker 1: not the same, Like thin have a difference something to
Speaker 1: focus on, because you wouldn't be able to have kids.
Speaker 1: If you got as sad as I did, you you
Speaker 1: would be a vat. It would be such. It would
Speaker 1: be like having kids when you're you know, people have
Speaker 1: kids when they live in poverty and can't afford even
Speaker 1: themselves and they have kids. It would be like that,
Speaker 1: like I have zero to give myself, so why would
Speaker 1: I ever have a child. I think the child forces
Speaker 1: to either a snap out of it, or it gives
Speaker 1: you something to focus on outside of yourself. I think
Speaker 1: when you are happy and you're doing Kimmel, even if
Speaker 1: it's not like WHOA, you have something to focus on
Speaker 1: outside of yourself. Even Yeah, I think it's the void
Speaker 1: of work. Yeah exactly, That's why I think it is.
Speaker 1: And I think kids are work, so it fills that
Speaker 1: void for a lot of people. Or you just go
Speaker 1: to your room and you don't help your kids and
Speaker 1: you just be depressed. I know, I was thinking about
Speaker 1: your mom. I'm like, I think I would be like
Speaker 1: in my bed room all day long. Like this weekend,
Speaker 1: I was in bed all day. I only got up
Speaker 1: to go get food and like go get coffee because
Speaker 1: I would get coffee to think, like maybe something can
Speaker 1: snap me out of this. I'll chug a diet coke
Speaker 1: like caffeine, just looking for some kind of stimulant to
Speaker 1: get me out of it. But um, nothing was working.
Speaker 1: And it's just like I just from you because he's
Speaker 1: on that vaca or trip. It's a good guess, but no,
Speaker 1: like I I felt, I mean, he was really good
Speaker 1: together a lot before, like this trip, you know, so
Speaker 1: I don't know, you seem pretty happy. No, it wasn't
Speaker 1: that at all. If anything, I'm like, thank god I
Speaker 1: don't have a partner right now. Thank God I don't
Speaker 1: have anyone who has to put up with this. Like
Speaker 1: I feel really like I don't know why anyone wants
Speaker 1: to be Like I stopped going to the girl's chat
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm just bringing this down. I been.
Speaker 1: You know, Chris is on his vacation. I was telling
Speaker 1: him about like I just don't even want to talk
Speaker 1: about my life because it's just like I have nothing
Speaker 1: positive to say. I have no good news, I have
Speaker 1: nothing nice to say. I am. You won't talk me
Speaker 1: out of it. I am in this. It's like I
Speaker 1: was reading about depression. It's like you're looking through a straw,
Speaker 1: like that's how much, that's how myopic. It is, like
Speaker 1: there's no good insight. And honestly, my life is perfect.
Speaker 1: I have the boyfriend of my dreams. I am in
Speaker 1: a suite in the one of the nicest hotels imaginable.
Speaker 1: I just hosted Kimmel I you know, I like the
Speaker 1: way my body looks. I like the way my face looks.
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift as a new album coming out that honestly
Speaker 1: lifted him a little bit out of my depression when
Speaker 1: I thought, I'm not kidding you. But honestly, I have
Speaker 1: the best friends. Like there's no reason for it. It's
Speaker 1: just such a and it's so annoying to even complain
Speaker 1: about because I just don't I don't know how to
Speaker 1: describe it, but it's just, um, I guess it's chemical.
Speaker 1: You just can't can't help it. But is now doing
Speaker 1: I did that too, and my journal was like, we
Speaker 1: can't take this close. I did, Yeah, gratitude list I
Speaker 1: have I cleaned my because I the maids haven't been
Speaker 1: able to come in because I won't leave my hotel
Speaker 1: room and I don't know where to go, and there's
Speaker 1: gonna be um no, it'll be on the pavement outside.
Speaker 1: Um but I uh, just make sure you put your
Speaker 1: arms out while you fall, pavement angel. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: they just drawn around you. They just drawing to start.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. When when they come to do like the
Speaker 1: scene analysis, the chuck outline like this actually might be
Speaker 1: the perfect place for it. Oh my god, it's on
Speaker 1: top of Danny de Vito and he's like it's an
Speaker 1: inside job reference to him. Beat on kitten, folks. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't even get that reference. And I was the
Speaker 1: one that was there. I mean, because you can't even
Speaker 1: say because there's no rhyme or reason, and it's just
Speaker 1: so it's so obnoxious to hear it from someone like
Speaker 1: me who And that's I think that is part of it,
Speaker 1: is that the amount of attention and everyone being like
Speaker 1: you killed it. Oh my god, girl, that dress, that
Speaker 1: dress forever. Oh my god, I'm dead dead. Uh, you're
Speaker 1: that was incredible. You need to be on late Night
Speaker 1: like all of these to you know, quote my dad accolades.
Speaker 1: It's like, this is the only way people love me.
Speaker 1: It's like that's the way it gets really sad, is
Speaker 1: like this is the only way to get the love
Speaker 1: that feels first of all, not even enough, um, because
Speaker 1: if it were, it would not make me depressed two
Speaker 1: seconds later. Um. But that's it. Just I think it's
Speaker 1: a reminder that none of that this stuff doesn't make
Speaker 1: me happy. And that's like and when the thing that
Speaker 1: you've achieved gone after your whole life to like make
Speaker 1: you happy and you're finally achieving it and you realize
Speaker 1: that that's not it, you just go this and I
Speaker 1: know it's not at it. You know, this has happened
Speaker 1: so many times in my life of these high highs
Speaker 1: where I'm like, if this isn't it, then what is
Speaker 1: Like I don't even know. And that's I think that's
Speaker 1: the depressing things, Like you get this love that seems
Speaker 1: conditional because it is. You have to wear a really
Speaker 1: you have to be thin, you have to look thin
Speaker 1: on TV. You have to have huge boobs, you have
Speaker 1: to have a dress that shows off both your thinness
Speaker 1: and your boobs. You have to um be really glowy,
Speaker 1: you have to have makeup on, you have to have
Speaker 1: hair extensions, in which I finally gave into. I said
Speaker 1: I never would wear them again, but I wore hair.
Speaker 1: So if you look, think my hair looked amazing that night.
Speaker 1: They were harrick stensions. It was fake. Um, you have
Speaker 1: other people right, like I didn't write all those jokes,
Speaker 1: and people are like, did you write all those jokes? Like,
Speaker 1: so people are giving me credit for jokes I didn't write, um,
Speaker 1: And I look at it at the end and I go,
Speaker 1: what did I do besides show up and smile? Like,
Speaker 1: I guess my delivery was good. I guess my enthusiasm
Speaker 1: was there, but everything else was artificial and not me.
Speaker 1: So what credit can you take for that? I don't
Speaker 1: agree with that, like you've looked at me because it
Speaker 1: isn't fake. I mean, these are things that depressed person
Speaker 1: would tell themselves, like all these things like I didn't
Speaker 1: do anything. That's bullshit, like you did stuff like anyone
Speaker 1: can fucking write a fucking one liner, like, but no
Speaker 1: one can perform No, I can't. Well, I did a lot.
Speaker 1: I did write a lot of Still it's like what
Speaker 1: I said in the last episode, like you were the
Speaker 1: conduit for the talent that was backstage. Like, some people
Speaker 1: are good at being talented behind the scenes, and that's
Speaker 1: a good Like, that's a good thing. They have actual
Speaker 1: talent and skill, but they need someone who can present
Speaker 1: in front of the camera and who can make their
Speaker 1: creativity come to life. And that is what you are
Speaker 1: very good at. You think, do you think Hitler literally
Speaker 1: wrote every word? How is that guy not? I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm guessing he was depressed, but how are the people
Speaker 1: that are actively like, I don't know, I just, um,
Speaker 1: I gotta figure out another way. Isn't this kind of
Speaker 1: like what happened with like Robin Williams the whole he
Speaker 1: had Louie body dementia, that's his brain was eating itself.
Speaker 1: He had steel Yeah, no, he had Louis body Louie
Speaker 1: I think it. I forget the name of it, but
Speaker 1: it's essentially um, yeah, he had that. So people think
Speaker 1: he killed himself, but he he had a you know,
Speaker 1: which is what everyone if you kill yourself, you eventually
Speaker 1: it's because your brain is not working correctly. People think
Speaker 1: that people choose to kill themselves, but it's really their
Speaker 1: brain turns on them, as does everything that you do.
Speaker 1: It's your brain. It's not you actually choosing it. But
Speaker 1: um no, he had a he had a brain disease,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I feel like, you know, it feels the
Speaker 1: same way. I think depression is that, and it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's not fun to have and I don't and there's
Speaker 1: no cure for it. It seems like I just don't
Speaker 1: know what I tried. I'm gonna keep trying. I'm never
Speaker 1: going to give up. I'm not gonna do anything. That's
Speaker 1: the other Yeah, that's what it is looking a certain way.
Speaker 1: And then Taylor Swift comes out last night. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift shows up at the vm AS. The first
Speaker 1: thing I saw was her dress, and that seriously lifted
Speaker 1: me out of a depression. I'm not even joking. You
Speaker 1: like seeing her and like, even though she looked beautiful
Speaker 1: and life and like, you know, young and all the
Speaker 1: things that I don't feel like I am, it really
Speaker 1: made me happy. And then she announces her album, which
Speaker 1: made me depressed again because it was an album that
Speaker 1: all the songs are written in the middle of the night,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, never have I been in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night, been depressed or like anxious? And then
Speaker 1: written something or like made something, and I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: I'm fucking worthless, like she this girl. Then I start
Speaker 1: comparing myself and then I see her second outfit of
Speaker 1: the evening, and I'm like, I don't mean to comment.
Speaker 1: I think she will tell us what she needs to
Speaker 1: tell us when she needs to tell us it. But
Speaker 1: that look gave single so hard. I can't even like,
Speaker 1: I can't you just I don't picture. I don't think
Speaker 1: there are speculations always online about her relationship, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to add fire to that flame, because she
Speaker 1: will tell us when the time is right. But that
Speaker 1: that second outfit she wore, do you know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about? Noah with the silky blue like little Onesie
Speaker 1: with stars. I think it might be Still McCartney because
Speaker 1: it's kind of her style with the strappy sandals, and
Speaker 1: it was like a tiny, little, almost neglige body suit.
Speaker 1: It wasn't because it was sexy. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: it gave single and by the way, giving single single,
Speaker 1: I'm trying out talking that way, um, but it just
Speaker 1: I immediately was like that girl's single, Like that's what
Speaker 1: you wear when you're like a single woman. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I just have what about it, Like you're
Speaker 1: putting it out there. I mean she literally like kind
Speaker 1: of she had feathers on that boat like a peacock. Um.
Speaker 1: It just it's like when you want to be seen
Speaker 1: and you're like I'm free, and there's like this new
Speaker 1: vibe out there, Like we haven't seen Taylor dressed like this.
Speaker 1: I mean the v m a is look is one thing.
Speaker 1: She's like be dazzled to the nines and like it
Speaker 1: almost looks like she's wearing a tangled necklace. Um. And
Speaker 1: but that was like more vm A like that's what
Speaker 1: you wear but for the after party. Look, I'm just like,
Speaker 1: that's a girl who is getting out there again. But maybe,
Speaker 1: I mean I would can I look free while in
Speaker 1: a relationship? Sure, I don't want her to be single.
Speaker 1: By the way, I love her and Joe's relationship. I
Speaker 1: envy it. I think they are perfect together. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy for them. They've been together over like sick she
Speaker 1: years at this point. I mean that is not Um,
Speaker 1: I don't want her to be single again. I love
Speaker 1: this place that she's writing from where she's in love.
Speaker 1: But I just saw that look and I was like
Speaker 1: I know that if I were newly single, That's what
Speaker 1: I would think it as, Like even someone like Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift after writing like some you know, she's prolific with
Speaker 1: her writing, but like having to have a relationship fall
Speaker 1: apart to put out another like where does the career
Speaker 1: and being focused on having another hit, Like it's gotta
Speaker 1: be tough. There's gotta be stress involved of like I
Speaker 1: don't feel uh creative at all. I better dump Joe,
Speaker 1: put a bird suit on and fucking write some good lyrics.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like there is something that can play
Speaker 1: in someone's head when you do, when that becomes your thing,
Speaker 1: you know, even though she's proven that, like she could
Speaker 1: do more than that. But no, yes, she's written three
Speaker 1: albums now in a relationship four arguably where she's been
Speaker 1: in love, so I don't think she needs it, but
Speaker 1: um yeah, I think it's been She's like, I mean,
Speaker 1: there's only so much of a song you could write,
Speaker 1: like he forgot to put the toilet seat down, like
Speaker 1: like kind of it loses it. It's no, I will argue,
Speaker 1: I mean, I know you're just making a joke, but
Speaker 1: it's uh. She writes about from that, well, that's where
Speaker 1: she got in two different characters, and she wrote from
Speaker 1: characters perspectives of books she's reading and her friends relationships
Speaker 1: since she would pull would do about Bruce Weinstein, He's
Speaker 1: like he was he must have been an iron worker himself,
Speaker 1: you know, like we we give him that trade of
Speaker 1: like a hard working man, but really he's just like
Speaker 1: a guy that like wrote a fun fiction story about,
Speaker 1: like a tough guy. You know. Yeah, I mean when
Speaker 1: do you When does your creative juices start flowing? Because
Speaker 1: in the midnight, I'm just like, man, this these are
Speaker 1: all songs she wrote in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1: And I mean, maybe that's just something she's saying for
Speaker 1: the sake of like selling the album. Maybe one song
Speaker 1: she wrote at seven am. And she's like, well, to
Speaker 1: some people, you know, like, but I can't imagine waking
Speaker 1: up in the middle of the nights. I wish that
Speaker 1: when I was depressed or sad or longing, like this
Speaker 1: stuff poured out of me or anything, anything poured out.
Speaker 1: I wish tears poured out of me, but nothing does.
Speaker 1: Blood I think. I think also she might say that
Speaker 1: it was in the middle I don't know. She might
Speaker 1: have wrote it the next day. About the middle of
Speaker 1: the night. I mean, that's like the theme of it.
Speaker 1: It's a good yes, but um, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: I kind of think of jokes after something like bad.
Speaker 1: Like if me and Brenna get in an argument, like
Speaker 1: two days later, I'll think about why it was funny,
Speaker 1: you know, like maybe to like like I was thinking
Speaker 1: about how, um, the other day we got an argument.
Speaker 1: I still we still had to do chores, but you
Speaker 1: just do them louder, you know, and like why that's
Speaker 1: fun Like getting mad at crutons and it's like, really,
Speaker 1: you're mad whoever you're mad at, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But you're just like taking it out on in it
Speaker 1: and objects, but not that hard, just hard enough the
Speaker 1: person knows. It's just I wrote a similar joke where
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm working on my communication skills right
Speaker 1: now with my boyfriend, and the other day I was
Speaker 1: really upset that he doesn't ask enough about like the
Speaker 1: you know, the details about my personal life, and like
Speaker 1: he'll just I just want him to ask about me more.
Speaker 1: So I just really I like sucked it up and
Speaker 1: I just like zipped my suitcase, like and then I
Speaker 1: like went to the bathroom and I like slam the
Speaker 1: door in a way that he knew that he needs
Speaker 1: to ask more questions like that, That's how I choose
Speaker 1: to communicate. But like sometimes that is the best I
Speaker 1: can do. Like sometimes most of the time I don't
Speaker 1: do those things. I don't like even let him know
Speaker 1: I'm mad by like kind of setting something down or
Speaker 1: like being weirdly quiet, because even that, I feel like
Speaker 1: is too much, so I will just pretend like everything's fine.
Speaker 1: So even that for me is kind of sometimes I
Speaker 1: bout myself in the back, like good you let him
Speaker 1: know by being weirdly quiet, Like even that it's like
Speaker 1: an accomplishment and communicating because otherwise I'm just like act
Speaker 1: like everything's fine, don't lose your boyfriend, keep him metal cost.
Speaker 1: It's funny to think, like that's how music was invented,
Speaker 1: by people putting away things loud, you know, like to
Speaker 1: show emotion. And that's like like I could see, like
Speaker 1: that's how stomped the musical. It was just the guy
Speaker 1: that was mad around just a couple on the brank
Speaker 1: of breaking up. Are you mad at me? No, I'm
Speaker 1: playing the trash can, I'm playing I'm sucking, putting away
Speaker 1: or no, you're just putting I'm putting away to trash. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're doing it to a beat. I I see
Speaker 1: something here. You're really mad. I really need to finish
Speaker 1: this musical. Will you tell me about how we have
Speaker 1: to go to your sisters or Christmas Eve instead of
Speaker 1: my sister's son. That's so funny. We gotta go to break.
Speaker 1: We'll come back with more show. That is so funny.
Speaker 1: All right, we're back. Let's do Reddit dump karaoke mode.
Speaker 1: This is your Reddit dum. I love the last ship.
Speaker 1: My phone's loading. Did you watch the VMA's last Nie.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to act too cool for school, but
Speaker 1: I just well, I wouldn't have known either, except it's
Speaker 1: all over my instagram. So your instagram does not have
Speaker 1: vm A stuff. What is your like? It's so funny
Speaker 1: that the world, the world we live in, that are
Speaker 1: on our phone. It's getting I wasn't really on my
Speaker 1: phone that much last night, and I usually am. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's why not. I was just hanging with Brandon watching
Speaker 1: like a movie or something. What do you guys watch?
Speaker 1: What have we you watch recently? I'm trying to think, Uh,
Speaker 1: we were watching Insecure actually the TV show. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: I love that show. Yeah, I like her new one.
Speaker 1: I like Ray's new show. What is it It's called
Speaker 1: rap Shit? Oh yeah, okay, so good. I remember the
Speaker 1: Insecure that came out around the same time Nick and
Speaker 1: Sarah Alive did and we went to there was like
Speaker 1: a red carpet for it, and you know on red carpets,
Speaker 1: how on the background they had the name of the
Speaker 1: show all over it and take and so it just
Speaker 1: you were just standing on red carpet and now that
Speaker 1: it was Insecure all around you, and I was like,
Speaker 1: it's so perfect for exactly what everyone's feeling on this
Speaker 1: red carpet. Okay. So this is from the St. Louis Reddit,
Speaker 1: which just St. Louis facts, and so the question was,
Speaker 1: what's a fact about St. Louis that sounds made up?
Speaker 1: And it said there's absolutely nothing more absurd in St.
Speaker 1: Louis's history than the four pick marathon event. I'm already
Speaker 1: laughing because it's so insane. It reads as a documentary.
Speaker 1: It was run on one of the hottest parts of
Speaker 1: the day on Dusty Rhodes. Of the thirty two participants,
Speaker 1: only fourteen completed. There only fourteen completed the race. Fred
Speaker 1: Lare's was initially the winner until it was discovered that
Speaker 1: he hits the ride in the middle of the race.
Speaker 1: Thomas Hicks became the eventual winner despite nearly dropping dead
Speaker 1: in hallucinating after being hopped up on brandy raw eggs
Speaker 1: and stryck nine. Andrein Kava Jall placed fourth after taking
Speaker 1: a nap because of eating spoiled fermented apples. He nearly
Speaker 1: missed the race after traveling from Cuba and ending up
Speaker 1: in New Orleans, where he lost all of his money.
Speaker 1: Yet he had to hit chike to St. Louis to
Speaker 1: make the race. He had lost his luggage and had
Speaker 1: to cut his street clothes into shorts to run the competition.
Speaker 1: William Garcia William Garcia. It was found near death after
Speaker 1: inhaling the dust from from the roads the South American entrance.
Speaker 1: Were disappointments. One of one of it, which was the favorite,
Speaker 1: was one of the favorites, but finished towards the back
Speaker 1: of the pack due to being chased off by off
Speaker 1: the course. By the back of What We Do It,
Speaker 1: the chief organizer had had only one water station on
Speaker 1: the entire course in an attempt to have an experiment
Speaker 1: on purposeful dehydration. It was an absolute calamity. Even reading
Speaker 1: it over, the whole thing seems completely made up. It's
Speaker 1: so absurd and it's hard to believe. That's the best
Speaker 1: thing I haven't heard in a while. It's so funny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, another fact about St. Louis that
Speaker 1: you might not think it's true that this was one
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you about. You're expected to
Speaker 1: tell a joke for candy on Halloween? Did you know that? What?
Speaker 1: It's the weirdest thing. We moved to St. Louis when
Speaker 1: I was five or six and we went out for
Speaker 1: Halloween and they were like, We're like trick or treat
Speaker 1: and they're like, okay, what's your joke? And we're like what,
Speaker 1: and um, it's a real thing. In St. Louis. You
Speaker 1: have to tell a joke to get before you get candy.
Speaker 1: So every kid has like a knock knock joke before
Speaker 1: they get candy, and if you don't, you just don't
Speaker 1: like people will wait to hear your joke. And it's
Speaker 1: only in St. Louis. It's the weirdest thing. But like
Speaker 1: outside of St. Louis, you just think it's a thing
Speaker 1: and it's not it's it is kind of an I
Speaker 1: think it's better than just going trick or treat and
Speaker 1: then just like sticking out your bag. At least there's
Speaker 1: some kind of exchange. Is that a thing? Or like
Speaker 1: if you get everyone just goes, oh that's funny. You
Speaker 1: know it's just some pun about skeletons or ghosts or
Speaker 1: you know Tomato a ghosts favorite Australian toy boom or
Speaker 1: you know, it's always just like something like that. I
Speaker 1: mean I just made um. Yeah, okay, so that is
Speaker 1: a fact about sat Lis. You'll run into guys by
Speaker 1: the way like like how hard life was then where
Speaker 1: he's like like like people like drink pre workout, they
Speaker 1: have all their electrolytes. They you know, they've planned this,
Speaker 1: they get in three days in advance. This guy lost
Speaker 1: all his money in New Orleans. Why would he even
Speaker 1: go because he came from Cuba. But about it and
Speaker 1: then go, I know, how do they hear about it?
Speaker 1: Like it's not like he entered online and then he
Speaker 1: had to cut his jeans like a word of mouth
Speaker 1: to Cuba. And then you're just gonna it's wild. It
Speaker 1: is wild and all they have to eat. They like
Speaker 1: to eat before him. You're not like eating an oatmeal
Speaker 1: with like eggs. You eat raw eggs and like maybe
Speaker 1: a piece of bread. And there's no water along the route.
Speaker 1: There's no like, there's no like you played an experiment
Speaker 1: on these people that travel to see about dehydration. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's fucking nuts in the best world ever. Sometimes when
Speaker 1: you think of we are so lucky that we got
Speaker 1: in right before it all ends and gets back to
Speaker 1: really like we're gonna see it go back to that
Speaker 1: they're just going to run the marathon. It's just all
Speaker 1: going to go backwards. It's so funny to think, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is from the subreddit sex and it says men
Speaker 1: who are into boobs, do you eventually tire of your
Speaker 1: of your partners or never ever? Just curious. I love
Speaker 1: that he's into my boobs, But do guys ever get
Speaker 1: to the point where he sees them and thinks and
Speaker 1: then these answers if they load. Sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: I have to remind myself like, oh my god, tits.
Speaker 1: You know, when you're dating someone so long, well you
Speaker 1: are the only person who said really, because everyone else
Speaker 1: is like, no, they're always the greatest things ever, so
Speaker 1: we can take that doesn't Yes, sometimes you take them
Speaker 1: for granted. Yes, but these answers are so fucking cute.
Speaker 1: The short answer is no long answer. No one said.
Speaker 1: I've been with my girlfriend for four years. We're kind
Speaker 1: of nudest, meaning we are home most of the time.
Speaker 1: When we were home most of the time, we are naked.
Speaker 1: Every single day she will catch me staring at her boobs.
Speaker 1: It's even better when she's wearing something to show off.
Speaker 1: Gives me a tease. Even though I've seen them a
Speaker 1: thousand times, literally five years in. My partner is always
Speaker 1: talking about them and touching them, and each time I
Speaker 1: put them in his face during sex, he comes quickly.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to say, no, um, I've been fondling, kissing, sucking,
Speaker 1: and coming all over these same pair of boobs for
Speaker 1: nearly thirty years, and I'm still I still think they're
Speaker 1: absolutely beautiful every time I see them, never ever, doesn't
Speaker 1: matter whether she's really small or really large, first time,
Speaker 1: ten time, always breathtaking. No, I still get irrationally giddy
Speaker 1: when I see my wife's years in. Never ever, I
Speaker 1: can spend hours that like everyone is just like, oh,
Speaker 1: someone goes, do cupcakes get old ice cream? Because that
Speaker 1: is how I feel about boobs. But here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Ice cream does get old. You eat it every day,
Speaker 1: it's well, you still are like it's ice cream, Like
Speaker 1: it's still exciting. Maybe you feel that. Well I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I think I don't think that's a bad thing too,
Speaker 1: to admit that you can get used to something but
Speaker 1: you take things for granted. Yes, but no, I think
Speaker 1: it's yeah, I mean, and then other times. One thing
Speaker 1: that I'm always shocked by is that whatever I expose
Speaker 1: my boobs, no we don't the first time to the
Speaker 1: last time. It's never like like we just it's not breathtaking.
Speaker 1: It could be if it's big enough. It can be
Speaker 1: if it fills your throat enough, for sure, But I
Speaker 1: do think it's so cute, Like how much um my
Speaker 1: boyfriend of nine years off and on still gets um.
Speaker 1: He like as like almost like of you know, sixth grader,
Speaker 1: like a middle schooler, just like and just like so excited.
Speaker 1: And I think the funniest part is that when when
Speaker 1: I send pictures or whatever to him, I get such
Speaker 1: a better response on pictures where you it looks like
Speaker 1: a nip slip or it looks like you can see
Speaker 1: them through the fabric as opposed to just straight up tip. Um.
Speaker 1: They love like the mystery of like are they there?
Speaker 1: And like it is something so sweet about walking into
Speaker 1: a room, And every single time if I have them out,
Speaker 1: he just is like like just can't he just like
Speaker 1: gets like so giddy, like it is that is a
Speaker 1: very cute thing that thank God for for that, the
Speaker 1: novelty of tips, because I don't relate to it, um
Speaker 1: for anything on a man where it's like every single time,
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's no there's nothing I can relate it to,
Speaker 1: not even like, you know, my dog can be cute,
Speaker 1: but even his cuteness doesn't make me go, oh my god.
Speaker 1: You know, babies like things that make me go still
Speaker 1: a break, a breathtaking view gets old, you know, Like,
Speaker 1: but I think there is something that's it's fun to
Speaker 1: hear that boobs kind of never get old and that
Speaker 1: the guys still appreciate them and still yeah or lie
Speaker 1: to be depressed about Yeah, your tids aren't that great now.
Speaker 1: That would never depress me. I honestly would never care.
Speaker 1: If anything, I get depressed when he gets excited about
Speaker 1: things that I'm like, I can't keep this up. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be this hot forever. Like that is
Speaker 1: where I get really depressed. I'm like, just I can't.
Speaker 1: My boobs will not always look at this guy. They
Speaker 1: will know keep um okay, so this is from shower thoughts.
Speaker 1: These are just like interesting thoughts people have. No one
Speaker 1: can ever know which is more euphoric, the male orgasm
Speaker 1: or the female orgasm. But then someone wrote a really
Speaker 1: interesting thing in here that said pretty much everyone said
Speaker 1: that you know, um, people who have transitioned every end
Speaker 1: have had the surgery to make it so they can
Speaker 1: have a female orgasm when they've only experienced male orgasm before.
Speaker 1: Is that based on science? And like brain scans, female
Speaker 1: orgasm is way way better than the male orgasm. Um.
Speaker 1: Someone said, I think women get this one hands down.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend will orgasm for like twenty to thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: Well mine lasts like five seconds. Someone said, um, there
Speaker 1: was a really good Uh yeah mine is. My wife
Speaker 1: says like like he goes, I think I know, Um,
Speaker 1: doctors can doctors can't be sure and I'm sure have
Speaker 1: you used an m R I to record? Mr I
Speaker 1: to record what the brain does whenever someone has an orgasm. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: men's brain kind of shut down during orgasms, while women's
Speaker 1: brains light up like Christmas tree. Wonder if it's like
Speaker 1: fewer and far between, like when a guy does an
Speaker 1: orgasm for months or can't, then it's like it feels
Speaker 1: probably like a woman orgasm, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: because it happens so many more times for a man
Speaker 1: than a woman, right, Like you guys just can have
Speaker 1: them so much, but you also we can have We
Speaker 1: can have many more than you have. Yeah, we can
Speaker 1: have so many more than you guys can't. I think
Speaker 1: that it would be more exciting for you because you
Speaker 1: can't have one on the back of another, like you
Speaker 1: have to, like we have a dormant period before you
Speaker 1: can have another, while we can just keep having them.
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's hard for women to have orgasms.
Speaker 1: I think that's a youth thing and that's a meaning,
Speaker 1: like lots of women can achieve orgasms. Was way lower
Speaker 1: than I thought when we when we found out that
Speaker 1: women just don't have orgasms, wasn't it? Like what was that?
Speaker 1: I thought only thirty percent of women get have like
Speaker 1: have had it? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's I think that it's because, well, I
Speaker 1: was just talking to my friend who was trying to
Speaker 1: um have an orgasm for the first time in her
Speaker 1: life by masturbating, and she got a clip sucking thing
Speaker 1: and she was like, do I have to lift up
Speaker 1: like the clitoral hood And I'm like, yeah, yeah, like
Speaker 1: the thing that's covering your clip, you gotta lift that
Speaker 1: up and then put it on. And I go, how
Speaker 1: did the directions not say that? And she gave me
Speaker 1: a picture of the directions. They don't say that, And
Speaker 1: then I looked online. There's no instruction for women on
Speaker 1: how to masturbate except rub yourself down there. There's no
Speaker 1: actual instruction girls if you were trying to have an orgasm,
Speaker 1: and men if you're trying to give your girlfriend an orgasm,
Speaker 1: and that there is a thing on top of her clip,
Speaker 1: the little thing that looks like a chewed up piece
Speaker 1: of gum that is like, that's you're the thing that
Speaker 1: gets chopped out of your dick when you have a circumcision,
Speaker 1: So that's a score skin. You need to get it
Speaker 1: out of the way to reach the clip that is
Speaker 1: not the clip. If you're sucking on that thing, it's
Speaker 1: like you're trying to put on chapstick with the lid
Speaker 1: still on, Like what are you doing get that thing
Speaker 1: when you have the umbrella open. But people don't know this,
Speaker 1: and young girls don't know this either, just like oh,
Speaker 1: there's already chewed on, so that makes sense, Like like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this made me think of you. I
Speaker 1: came across something on Reddit that I quoted to my
Speaker 1: friends yesterday, but I couldn't find it um. It said
Speaker 1: something about how men tend to think like a woman
Speaker 1: with a lot of partners much must have like a
Speaker 1: totally stretched out vagina. And it's like, what makes you
Speaker 1: think a woman that has had hundreds of partners has
Speaker 1: any more of a stretched out vagina than with one
Speaker 1: partner that had hundreds of times. But men do think
Speaker 1: at like multiple partners equals like you have a baggy puss,
Speaker 1: when it's like if she had one partner, what if
Speaker 1: she got one partner that has a huge dick and
Speaker 1: all those other partners and any one have you ever
Speaker 1: seen porn stars vaginas? They're all have tight vaginas, yet
Speaker 1: they're getting plowed by humongous dicks. It stretches back. Final thought,
Speaker 1: The best thing for this orgasm thing that I heard was, um,
Speaker 1: someone in here. I can't find the quote, but it said,
Speaker 1: um that both your ear canal and your finger are
Speaker 1: both sensitive areas of your body, right like the tip
Speaker 1: of your finger and inside your ear. But put your
Speaker 1: finger inside your ear and which one is getting? Which
Speaker 1: one are you feeling the most? Exactly? So women have
Speaker 1: better orgasms? Is it the penis or like which one
Speaker 1: has more sensitivity? If you think about it, like you're
Speaker 1: gonna feel, But isn't that weird? Like you don't feel
Speaker 1: I know, Noah's like my Q tip feels the end
Speaker 1: of my sowd off cut tip. It is interesting, It's like,
Speaker 1: but then if you fun if you take your finger
Speaker 1: and you put it on like the point of like
Speaker 1: a table, you'll feel it a lot on your fingers.
Speaker 1: That just just you gotta because you're not feeling the table,
Speaker 1: your table. You gotta something dead to feel anything. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that was the thing. It's very here. I
Speaker 1: found it. It's very puzzling how dudes could think of
Speaker 1: vagina gets looser from fucking fifty different guys. But wouldn't
Speaker 1: get looser for fucking one guy fifty times. I love that.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is like a riddle. Did you ever
Speaker 1: remember any of those riddles like, um, you know a guy? Uh,
Speaker 1: here's what was it? The ones where it's like there's
Speaker 1: a guy dead in a cabin, there's a thing of
Speaker 1: water underneath them. What happened or whatever? I mean, I
Speaker 1: love that a few things. But oh wait, yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's like an ice cube is always answer yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: this one says this is from shower thoughts. I loved
Speaker 1: this one so much, and please try it on Brenna
Speaker 1: today and let us know what happens. Okay, if you
Speaker 1: try to hand a woman something enclosed in your fist,
Speaker 1: she is going to think you're trying to hand money. Bug,
Speaker 1: even if you're known if even if you've known her
Speaker 1: for years and never have ever tried to give her
Speaker 1: a bug before. They never let their guard down regarding
Speaker 1: being handed up like a little lizard. Yeah, that's funny,
Speaker 1: that's funny. Oh my god, I can't laugh to her
Speaker 1: this heards way back. It's so funny that all women
Speaker 1: have their guards up about being If a man came
Speaker 1: up to me and was like here, just take it.
Speaker 1: I'd feel like, hell, no, I'm you've got to there
Speaker 1: a bug holding a dollar today. But I will do
Speaker 1: it when I get back. I promise I will. Okay,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. That reminds me of like so like
Speaker 1: we'll scare each other sometimes, and I know you don't
Speaker 1: like those kind of pranks, but she'll scare me and
Speaker 1: I'll do like one of these like ninja, you know,
Speaker 1: you do a little like or like I'll get up
Speaker 1: like an alligator. I scared her, like she'll be like
Speaker 1: behind a bed and I think maybe you know she's
Speaker 1: in the room whatever, And like next thing, I know,
Speaker 1: someone's tapping my penis with my eyes closed and I'm
Speaker 1: and I think a little man has walked in for something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have weird imagination. I guess I've
Speaker 1: a little guy in there. I don't even know. Anyways,
Speaker 1: my point is I scared her this morning, and she
Speaker 1: reacted like I was, you know, Ted Bundy, like I
Speaker 1: have like eight kills like I and it's just like
Speaker 1: it sucks that women. But she didn't know what was you?
Speaker 1: Well she who else could have? Like she knew I
Speaker 1: was the only one in the house. But like I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like I feel bad for women because I
Speaker 1: think like anytime you're scared, like it could really be
Speaker 1: you're like we're going to get When a guy gets scared,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh it's a little midget guy that he's
Speaker 1: having sex with or whatever. No, but like I just
Speaker 1: don't think death, but you really think it's starring, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we immediately think yeah. I mean, I can't speak for
Speaker 1: all women, but I always am like rape and stabbed
Speaker 1: and learned, and now I do live in a constant
Speaker 1: fear of and I think most people should of. When
Speaker 1: you're walking down the street and you have your phone
Speaker 1: in your hand, I do not do that anymore. Like
Speaker 1: I don't I have to put my phone away because
Speaker 1: I'm so scared of it. And when I hear people
Speaker 1: walking behind me, I go because I'm so scared someone's
Speaker 1: going to run by and take my phone, which is
Speaker 1: obviously please do that as opposed to any of the
Speaker 1: other things to me. But like I because I've had
Speaker 1: my phone, you you have that something bad has ever
Speaker 1: happened to you. You're the rest of your life. It's
Speaker 1: just you know, that trauma that goes that gets encrypted
Speaker 1: on the brain. That's why I don't like being scared
Speaker 1: is because that adds to your mamma and your brain
Speaker 1: even for that second that you thought it was someone,
Speaker 1: it literally rewrite. Your brain has a physical marking on
Speaker 1: it from that. When I got stabbed through, you know,
Speaker 1: which I've told this story before. For years, I couldn't
Speaker 1: be around not people holding knives, and like, even if
Speaker 1: it was like in a casual setting or if there
Speaker 1: was like a joke, like I would be like yes,
Speaker 1: like it would it would be fucking wild, how afraid
Speaker 1: I'd get yes. Yeah. I worked as a fishmonger, which
Speaker 1: they cut up the fish, and it was like every
Speaker 1: day was like I would think about getting stabbed, like
Speaker 1: it would come oh my god. And you weren't stabbed
Speaker 1: in like a way that was like a guy came
Speaker 1: out of nowhere and stabbed that was like, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do this. I'm gonna stab you to show how
Speaker 1: well this thing works. So it wasn't even then, you
Speaker 1: still have trauma from it. That's a good point, but
Speaker 1: that probably a trauma from the dog attack that didn't happen,
Speaker 1: that you lied about happening so that you would your
Speaker 1: buddy wouldn't get in trouble. I mean, it wasn't your
Speaker 1: body proved. But I think getting stabbed in that way
Speaker 1: almost scarier because it shows like, oh, you can get
Speaker 1: stabbed at on by a friend on any day, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like horrible ship can happen. It's
Speaker 1: not scarier. I'm not giving you that's no because you
Speaker 1: actually let him stab you. He just did it. He
Speaker 1: didn't give me a choice. But who would have known
Speaker 1: that you cannot stab a bullet? But maybe seal that
Speaker 1: he claimed to be what dick? What he's cool though,
Speaker 1: which is pretty cool? What that same guy? I don't
Speaker 1: know if he had a knife that Oh my god. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: thanks to you, Thanks to you, Thanks you for listening
Speaker 1: to the feeling you sound better by the end. Um,
Speaker 1: my neck is still an hell, but it's like getting depression.
Speaker 1: But oh yeah, no, I'm my bad is calling me again.
Speaker 1: I think I'm getting excited because I get to go
Speaker 1: back to my lair. Al Right, guys, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for listening to the show today. We will be
Speaker 1: back tomorrow, hopefully in better spirits. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is pretty good spirits and they um don't be
Speaker 1: cut yck. Okay, I've given up.