1 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,995 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:25,395 Speaker 1: This is a news and political podcast, and there is 3 00:00:25,475 --> 00:00:28,835 Speaker 1: much to discuss in both areas, from the extraordinarily slow 4 00:00:29,035 --> 00:00:32,555 Speaker 1: drip drip drip of the Trump Georgia grand jury, to 5 00:00:32,675 --> 00:00:35,435 Speaker 1: whether or not Nicki Haley could pass her own presidential 6 00:00:35,475 --> 00:00:39,595 Speaker 1: mental competency tests, to whether or not anybody can stop 7 00:00:39,675 --> 00:00:43,675 Speaker 1: the Killer Windows of Russia, and all that is coming up. 8 00:00:45,035 --> 00:00:50,075 Speaker 1: But Tim McCarver died yesterday, and I am heartbroken, and 9 00:00:50,155 --> 00:00:53,075 Speaker 1: I will make no apologies for devoting this first segment 10 00:00:53,115 --> 00:00:56,715 Speaker 1: to him. When I was twenty four years old and 11 00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:59,875 Speaker 1: working as a sports correspondent for CNN in New York, 12 00:00:59,955 --> 00:01:03,675 Speaker 1: I reluctantly admitted to myself that my affection for baseball 13 00:01:04,275 --> 00:01:08,275 Speaker 1: was ailing. I had seen my childhood team, the Yankees, 14 00:01:08,595 --> 00:01:11,955 Speaker 1: rise from the Ashes to win two World Series, and 15 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,635 Speaker 1: I was in the stands in Boston as they completed 16 00:01:14,635 --> 00:01:17,835 Speaker 1: the greatest mid season come back in the game's history. 17 00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:22,915 Speaker 1: But the Yankees perpetual churn had exhausted me, and five 18 00:01:22,955 --> 00:01:26,035 Speaker 1: seasons of having to go to baseball games as a 19 00:01:26,075 --> 00:01:29,275 Speaker 1: professional rather than just wanting to go to them as 20 00:01:29,315 --> 00:01:33,675 Speaker 1: a fan had left me board and one night after 21 00:01:33,675 --> 00:01:36,635 Speaker 1: work in April or May of three, I was sitting 22 00:01:36,675 --> 00:01:39,315 Speaker 1: in my little apartment in New York, finding nothing to watch, 23 00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:43,395 Speaker 1: even on the cable system offering the world's widest assortment 24 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:47,355 Speaker 1: of channels, fifty of them, and I somehow landed back 25 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:50,915 Speaker 1: on the New York station, Channel nine, where as the 26 00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:55,315 Speaker 1: hapless New York Mets were cavorting on my screen. Two men, 27 00:01:56,435 --> 00:02:00,835 Speaker 1: we're laughing uncontrollably. I mean, I came in from channel 28 00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,995 Speaker 1: eight or channel ten, and the first thing I saw 29 00:02:03,115 --> 00:02:05,275 Speaker 1: was the ballgame at Chase Stadium. And the first thing 30 00:02:05,315 --> 00:02:10,995 Speaker 1: I heard was these two guys laughing. No words, no explanation, 31 00:02:11,635 --> 00:02:18,995 Speaker 1: no self control, just laughing. Well that was different. I 32 00:02:19,075 --> 00:02:20,995 Speaker 1: had never in my life been a fan of the 33 00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:24,995 Speaker 1: New York Mets. I grew up Yankee, and even as 34 00:02:25,035 --> 00:02:27,555 Speaker 1: that had begun to wane, I was not going to 35 00:02:27,635 --> 00:02:31,795 Speaker 1: become a Mets fan. I didn't hate them. At age ten, 36 00:02:31,835 --> 00:02:33,715 Speaker 1: I was overjoyed when my dad was able to get 37 00:02:33,795 --> 00:02:36,035 Speaker 1: us two tickets to a Mets nineteen sixty nine World 38 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:39,075 Speaker 1: Series game. And I had seen the Mets on TV 39 00:02:39,675 --> 00:02:45,475 Speaker 1: hundreds of times before, but never to watch them, And 40 00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:49,235 Speaker 1: yet there I was having voluntarily stayed in wrapped attention 41 00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:52,475 Speaker 1: to a Mets telecast for twenty or thirty seconds now 42 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:57,795 Speaker 1: as these two guys laughed their heads off. Eventually they 43 00:02:57,835 --> 00:03:02,155 Speaker 1: settled down, and Ralph Kiner, in his twenty second season 44 00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:04,955 Speaker 1: as a Mets announcer, said something to Tim mc carver 45 00:03:05,555 --> 00:03:08,955 Speaker 1: in like his twenty second day as a Mets announcer, 46 00:03:09,235 --> 00:03:11,835 Speaker 1: about how neither of them should ever try to say 47 00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:16,475 Speaker 1: that again. Just then the inning ended, McCarver said, the 48 00:03:16,515 --> 00:03:19,715 Speaker 1: Mets are retired in the third and management may very 49 00:03:19,715 --> 00:03:22,835 Speaker 1: well retire Ralph and me during the commercial We'll be 50 00:03:22,955 --> 00:03:26,795 Speaker 1: right back or not. Well, now I had to watch 51 00:03:28,355 --> 00:03:31,715 Speaker 1: by the next inning. By the time Tim McCarver, whom 52 00:03:31,715 --> 00:03:34,035 Speaker 1: the Mets had hired away from the Philadelphia Phillies the 53 00:03:34,035 --> 00:03:37,675 Speaker 1: previous winter, had explained the name that he and Ralph 54 00:03:37,755 --> 00:03:42,275 Speaker 1: Kiner so butchered that they dissolved into laughter. I was 55 00:03:42,795 --> 00:03:47,435 Speaker 1: a Tim McCarver fan. The Mets were awful that year, 56 00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:51,475 Speaker 1: promising but still the second worst team in baseball. They 57 00:03:51,475 --> 00:03:55,195 Speaker 1: had not finished last or next to last in seven years, 58 00:03:55,755 --> 00:03:59,035 Speaker 1: and laughing during their broadcast for any reason was better 59 00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:03,555 Speaker 1: than paying attention to their games. And yet it quickly 60 00:04:03,635 --> 00:04:06,075 Speaker 1: dawned on me that I was only laughing along with 61 00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:10,315 Speaker 1: McCarver and Kinner, but also I was paying attention to 62 00:04:10,475 --> 00:04:13,555 Speaker 1: the game. It was as if I were sitting with 63 00:04:13,595 --> 00:04:16,595 Speaker 1: these two guys in the stands somewhere, and we were 64 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:20,475 Speaker 1: enjoying what we could of the three Mets, with McCarver 65 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,715 Speaker 1: in particular pointing out something subtle on the field that 66 00:04:23,835 --> 00:04:27,515 Speaker 1: I would have otherwise missed. And in a much larger sense, 67 00:04:27,595 --> 00:04:32,555 Speaker 1: we McCarver, Kinder, and the viewer. We were sitting there 68 00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:38,355 Speaker 1: enjoying the fact of baseball. The individual game always mattered 69 00:04:38,355 --> 00:04:40,995 Speaker 1: to Tim McCarver. But where it fit into the jigsaw 70 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:45,595 Speaker 1: puzzle of that season's games, or into the vaster jigsaw 71 00:04:45,635 --> 00:04:48,595 Speaker 1: puzzle of all the games he'd ever seen, all the 72 00:04:48,635 --> 00:04:51,795 Speaker 1: games there had ever been, that was far more important. 73 00:04:53,635 --> 00:04:55,275 Speaker 1: Well before the week was out, I was a Met 74 00:04:55,275 --> 00:05:00,075 Speaker 1: fan because of Tim McCarver, and my dying baseball fandom 75 00:05:00,115 --> 00:05:06,795 Speaker 1: had been resuscitated because of Tim McCarver. As of three 76 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:12,435 Speaker 1: very few baseball broadcasts, in fact, very few sportscasts we're 77 00:05:12,515 --> 00:05:16,955 Speaker 1: interesting to watch as television programs. Tony Kubec had done 78 00:05:16,955 --> 00:05:20,675 Speaker 1: the baseball game of the Week and was crisp and informative, 79 00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:24,075 Speaker 1: and he enjoyed himself, and he taught me and other 80 00:05:24,195 --> 00:05:28,675 Speaker 1: kids and adults what to look for. But Vince Scully 81 00:05:28,675 --> 00:05:31,635 Speaker 1: had only returned to the national baseball stage that same year, 82 00:05:32,835 --> 00:05:35,875 Speaker 1: and Bob Costas had only become the backup on NBC's 83 00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:39,555 Speaker 1: Game of the Week the year before. Baseball television was, 84 00:05:39,635 --> 00:05:46,355 Speaker 1: if not a desert, a really arid place. Tim McCarver 85 00:05:47,115 --> 00:05:51,275 Speaker 1: was never arid. He was happy to criticize any player 86 00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:55,395 Speaker 1: or any manager at any time for strategical or logistical malfeasance. 87 00:05:56,235 --> 00:05:59,435 Speaker 1: But he was also happy to underline whenever he was 88 00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:03,155 Speaker 1: wrong and they were right. You can't shade the defense 89 00:06:03,235 --> 00:06:05,475 Speaker 1: that way and throw him a fastball in that situation, 90 00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:09,435 Speaker 1: he'll put it over the fence. If seconds after that 91 00:06:09,955 --> 00:06:12,275 Speaker 1: the batter hit not a home run but a soft 92 00:06:12,315 --> 00:06:15,835 Speaker 1: liner to the shortstop whose location McCarver had just criticized, 93 00:06:16,355 --> 00:06:20,555 Speaker 1: Tim's self flagellation would be short and exact, or maybe 94 00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:26,355 Speaker 1: you can I'll try to stop managing from up here now. Usually, 95 00:06:26,355 --> 00:06:29,995 Speaker 1: of course, he was exactly right. About fifteen years ago, 96 00:06:30,075 --> 00:06:32,275 Speaker 1: he kind of fell out of favor with some fans 97 00:06:32,315 --> 00:06:35,195 Speaker 1: and some critics because the freshness of his approach as 98 00:06:35,235 --> 00:06:39,075 Speaker 1: of three tell the viewer not just what happened, but 99 00:06:39,235 --> 00:06:41,515 Speaker 1: what's going to happen next, and what's going to happen 100 00:06:41,555 --> 00:06:44,795 Speaker 1: after that, and what's gonna happen after that. That had 101 00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:48,195 Speaker 1: been imitated by every baseball analyst, and indeed by every 102 00:06:48,235 --> 00:06:51,835 Speaker 1: TV sports analyst, and by a lot of sportscasters in studios, 103 00:06:52,435 --> 00:06:54,875 Speaker 1: and a lot of the imitators were younger and smoother 104 00:06:55,155 --> 00:06:59,155 Speaker 1: and with a less pronounced accent, and as is inevitable, 105 00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:05,195 Speaker 1: with time, they had become faster. Lost in that is 106 00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:14,435 Speaker 1: that they all were and are Tim McCarver imitators. McCarver 107 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,955 Speaker 1: rose quickly in Baseball TV. He went right from the 108 00:07:16,955 --> 00:07:19,915 Speaker 1: Philadelphia Phillies active roster and he was a great catcher 109 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,995 Speaker 1: to announcing for the Phillies and occasionally for NBC in 110 00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:25,435 Speaker 1: nineteen eighty, then to the Mets in nineteen eighty three, 111 00:07:25,435 --> 00:07:28,235 Speaker 1: as I mentioned, and ABC Sports in nineteen eighty four, 112 00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:31,715 Speaker 1: and his first of twenty three World Series in ninety five. 113 00:07:32,715 --> 00:07:36,235 Speaker 1: When CBS got baseball in nineteen ninety they hired him. 114 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:38,475 Speaker 1: I was at the CBS station in Los Angeles and 115 00:07:38,475 --> 00:07:42,035 Speaker 1: got to interview him. I predicted that the underdog Cincinnati 116 00:07:42,075 --> 00:07:44,275 Speaker 1: Reds would win the World Series in nineteen ninety and 117 00:07:44,315 --> 00:07:47,555 Speaker 1: maybe even sweep and McCarver said, I think that way too. 118 00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,275 Speaker 1: I was afraid to say it. I thought I was 119 00:07:49,315 --> 00:07:54,355 Speaker 1: the only one. When CBS lost baseball in nineteen ninety four, 120 00:07:54,435 --> 00:07:57,755 Speaker 1: ABC re hired him. When Fox got baseball in nineteen 121 00:07:57,835 --> 00:08:00,595 Speaker 1: ninety six, they hired him away. And all that time 122 00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:02,875 Speaker 1: he was also doing full seasons in New York with 123 00:08:02,955 --> 00:08:06,115 Speaker 1: the Mets, And when the Mets hesitated to bring him back, 124 00:08:06,155 --> 00:08:09,595 Speaker 1: the Yankees grabbed him in and he was their lead announcer, 125 00:08:09,675 --> 00:08:12,475 Speaker 1: play by play man and a good one for three seasons. 126 00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:17,115 Speaker 1: I had met Tim McCarver when he was going from 127 00:08:17,275 --> 00:08:20,195 Speaker 1: player to announcer. At the nineteen eighty World Series. I 128 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:23,035 Speaker 1: was startled to see him on the field at Veteran 129 00:08:23,115 --> 00:08:28,955 Speaker 1: Stadium in Philadelphia carrying the latest volume of Martin Gilbert's 130 00:08:29,035 --> 00:08:35,075 Speaker 1: series of biographies of Winston Churchill. I introduced myself and 131 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,315 Speaker 1: I said I had just finished that book and hoped 132 00:08:37,355 --> 00:08:39,915 Speaker 1: he enjoyed it as much as I had. He asked 133 00:08:39,915 --> 00:08:42,395 Speaker 1: me how I thought it compared to Churchill's dozens of 134 00:08:42,475 --> 00:08:45,915 Speaker 1: volumes of his own autobiography. Well, I said, there are 135 00:08:46,075 --> 00:08:50,235 Speaker 1: fewer of them. McCarver laughed loudly. Good, this is heavy 136 00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:54,475 Speaker 1: enough on the plane, he said, And when in three 137 00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:56,675 Speaker 1: I became a mcarver fan and got to tell him, so, 138 00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:59,595 Speaker 1: he immediately asked me if there were things he could 139 00:08:59,635 --> 00:09:04,035 Speaker 1: improve on. Well, I gave him some technical voice tips 140 00:09:04,035 --> 00:09:05,795 Speaker 1: and told him not to worry too much about them, 141 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,355 Speaker 1: that he was really pretty good at it as it was. 142 00:09:08,955 --> 00:09:10,955 Speaker 1: And I said, I suppose this had begun when he 143 00:09:10,995 --> 00:09:13,995 Speaker 1: was with the nineteen six St. Louis Cardinals. They had 144 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,955 Speaker 1: thirty five players on the team that year, twenty five 145 00:09:16,995 --> 00:09:20,115 Speaker 1: of them making the roster for most of the season. Eventually, 146 00:09:20,155 --> 00:09:24,235 Speaker 1: of those thirty five, McCarver became a broadcaster, and his 147 00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:28,275 Speaker 1: teammates Bill White and Lou Brock became broadcasters, and Kurt 148 00:09:28,315 --> 00:09:32,075 Speaker 1: Flood and Mike Shannon and Bob Yucker and Bob Gibson 149 00:09:32,475 --> 00:09:36,075 Speaker 1: and Nelson Briles, and they would all become baseball announcers, 150 00:09:36,515 --> 00:09:39,675 Speaker 1: and then their teammate Dick Grot would become a basketball announcer, 151 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:43,035 Speaker 1: and their teammate Bob Perkey would become a local sportscaster 152 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:47,435 Speaker 1: in Pittsburgh. That's ten out of thirty five. McCarver said 153 00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:49,755 Speaker 1: on the team bus, it was a life and death 154 00:09:49,795 --> 00:09:55,075 Speaker 1: struggle to be heard. I got to work again with 155 00:09:55,115 --> 00:10:00,075 Speaker 1: Tim McCarver on a regular basis at Fox in two thousand. 156 00:10:00,155 --> 00:10:02,275 Speaker 1: I was the host of Fox's pregame show for the 157 00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:05,915 Speaker 1: Game of the Week that Tim did with Joe every Saturday, 158 00:10:05,995 --> 00:10:09,315 Speaker 1: and also the pregame show hosted our coverage of the 159 00:10:09,315 --> 00:10:12,435 Speaker 1: playoffs in the World Series. Mid season, I would appear 160 00:10:12,475 --> 00:10:15,795 Speaker 1: in their broadcast from the studio doing highlights of other games, 161 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,355 Speaker 1: and then in October I would literally be in one 162 00:10:18,395 --> 00:10:22,075 Speaker 1: of the team dugouts. I am proud to say that 163 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,435 Speaker 1: in the former role, I once managed to reduce Tim 164 00:10:25,515 --> 00:10:31,395 Speaker 1: McCarver to silence. On June two thousand, Tim and Joe 165 00:10:31,435 --> 00:10:33,195 Speaker 1: Buck were doing the Game of the Week from Dodger 166 00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:35,795 Speaker 1: Stadium in Los Angeles, and I was, as usual in 167 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:39,595 Speaker 1: the l A studio doing the highlights for them, watching 168 00:10:39,675 --> 00:10:43,835 Speaker 1: all the games simultaneously on an array of television's stacked 169 00:10:43,915 --> 00:10:49,155 Speaker 1: one atop the other. In the fourth inning at Yankee Stadium, 170 00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:52,395 Speaker 1: the Yankee second baseman Chuck Nablock, whose defensive play had 171 00:10:52,395 --> 00:10:55,875 Speaker 1: been deteriorating for more than a year, charged a softly 172 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,595 Speaker 1: hit ground ball and tried to throw it back behind 173 00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:01,675 Speaker 1: him to first base. He not only did not come 174 00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:04,395 Speaker 1: close to first base, but the throw, in fact, bounced 175 00:11:04,435 --> 00:11:07,835 Speaker 1: all the top of the Yankees dugout and hit a 176 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:12,555 Speaker 1: fan in the stands. Now, I knew Yankee Stadium intimately. 177 00:11:12,595 --> 00:11:14,515 Speaker 1: I had more or less grown up there, and I 178 00:11:14,595 --> 00:11:17,235 Speaker 1: knew if the ball had not hit somebody in the 179 00:11:17,315 --> 00:11:20,235 Speaker 1: season ticket seats that my family had had there since nine, 180 00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:25,155 Speaker 1: it had come close. Probably hit my mother, I said 181 00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:29,115 Speaker 1: to the stage crew. Everybody laughed, and then the Yankees 182 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,395 Speaker 1: broadcast cut to a shot of the afflicted fan holding 183 00:11:32,395 --> 00:11:35,755 Speaker 1: her head and being attended to buy stadium staff. It 184 00:11:35,915 --> 00:11:41,515 Speaker 1: was my mother. Nobody laughed. So moments later, after I 185 00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:44,235 Speaker 1: had gotten her on the phone, when Buck and McCarver 186 00:11:44,395 --> 00:11:46,955 Speaker 1: threw to me for a Fox game break, I narrated 187 00:11:46,995 --> 00:11:49,755 Speaker 1: that exact highlight, and I said that Chuck now blocks 188 00:11:49,755 --> 00:11:52,155 Speaker 1: throwing problems had now gotten personal, that he had now 189 00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:56,915 Speaker 1: hit my mother. We showed her her glasses are broken, 190 00:11:56,995 --> 00:11:58,635 Speaker 1: Joe and Tim, and she's going home. But I've just 191 00:11:58,675 --> 00:12:04,075 Speaker 1: spoken to her. She's okay, Joe, Tim, there was silence. 192 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:09,555 Speaker 1: I mean a lot of silence. Finally, Tim McCarver said, 193 00:12:09,835 --> 00:12:14,275 Speaker 1: what huh is that? I'm speechless? Is that one of 194 00:12:14,355 --> 00:12:17,395 Speaker 1: Keith's jokes? Keith, are you still there? Was that? Really? 195 00:12:17,395 --> 00:12:21,595 Speaker 1: Your mother? I'm here? Tim? My? My goodness? She? What 196 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,155 Speaker 1: did the odds? Tim? She's been going to Yankee games 197 00:12:24,155 --> 00:12:26,435 Speaker 1: since nineteen thirty four and nothing bad has ever happened 198 00:12:26,475 --> 00:12:28,435 Speaker 1: to her before today? I'd say the odds are pretty good? 199 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,155 Speaker 1: But did she? She's fine. She'll be back in that 200 00:12:31,235 --> 00:12:34,075 Speaker 1: same seat tomorrow. She's a gamer, won't She asked me 201 00:12:34,075 --> 00:12:35,595 Speaker 1: to tell you she likes you better now that you're 202 00:12:35,595 --> 00:12:39,835 Speaker 1: worth the Yankees and not the Mets. After that, I 203 00:12:39,955 --> 00:12:43,195 Speaker 1: never saw Tim McCarver without him asking how my mother was. 204 00:12:43,955 --> 00:12:47,115 Speaker 1: In fact, he called me after his game ended that 205 00:12:47,235 --> 00:12:50,955 Speaker 1: day to make sure. After my mother passed away, Tim 206 00:12:50,955 --> 00:12:54,635 Speaker 1: would say he had been thinking of her. Nobody I 207 00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:58,995 Speaker 1: know who knew Tim McCarver personally could recall a difficult 208 00:12:59,035 --> 00:13:02,155 Speaker 1: experience with him. He was a sweet man who enjoyed himself, 209 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:08,835 Speaker 1: enjoyed baseball, enjoy broadcasting, enjoyed talking, enjoyed listening, enjoyed meeting you, 210 00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:13,635 Speaker 1: enjoyed singing, he put out a jazz album, and he 211 00:13:13,955 --> 00:13:18,195 Speaker 1: saved my love for baseball when it nearly died, literally 212 00:13:18,355 --> 00:13:23,915 Speaker 1: forty years ago. And one last thing, Tim McCarver said 213 00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:27,035 Speaker 1: something once on a baseball broadcast that is, to my mind, 214 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:33,075 Speaker 1: the greatest piece of predictive analysis I have ever heard 215 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:39,755 Speaker 1: in any sport, possibly in any realm, in television, politics, news, 216 00:13:39,835 --> 00:13:44,635 Speaker 1: the weather, but definitely sports. And it wasn't just that 217 00:13:44,795 --> 00:13:47,795 Speaker 1: he pointed out what everybody else in the stadium had 218 00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:50,355 Speaker 1: seemingly missed, including a manager who had just led his 219 00:13:50,395 --> 00:13:54,195 Speaker 1: team to three consecutive World Series championships. It was when 220 00:13:54,275 --> 00:13:57,635 Speaker 1: he said it. This was in the bottom of the 221 00:13:57,755 --> 00:14:01,075 Speaker 1: ninth inning of the seventh game of the World Series, 222 00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:06,875 Speaker 1: in literally the last seconds the most emotional two months 223 00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:10,635 Speaker 1: of the most emotional baseball season ever. This was on 224 00:14:10,795 --> 00:14:16,155 Speaker 1: November fourth, two thousand and one. As in a horror 225 00:14:16,195 --> 00:14:19,755 Speaker 1: film or a disaster movie, there was just enough time 226 00:14:19,995 --> 00:14:23,635 Speaker 1: for one person, and one person alone, to see that 227 00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:27,115 Speaker 1: the monster was not dead, or that the damn would 228 00:14:27,115 --> 00:14:30,835 Speaker 1: not hold. And in this case that person was Tim McCarver. 229 00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:34,115 Speaker 1: And this audio from the Fox broadcast of that World 230 00:14:34,155 --> 00:14:39,515 Speaker 1: Series game. It's not slick. It doesn't sound scripted. There 231 00:14:39,555 --> 00:14:42,475 Speaker 1: are no catch phrases. It isn't hip, it isn't full 232 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:48,395 Speaker 1: of metrics. It merely predicts the exact outcome to the 233 00:14:48,515 --> 00:14:53,755 Speaker 1: inch of the play that would decide and end the 234 00:14:53,995 --> 00:15:00,115 Speaker 1: entire baseball season. Seconds afterwards, that chance of a lifetime 235 00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:05,235 Speaker 1: for Luis Gonzalez to t bottom of the knife. Game 236 00:15:05,355 --> 00:15:09,675 Speaker 1: seven of the World Series basses loaded infield in one out, 237 00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:21,635 Speaker 1: strong wader. The one problem is Libera throws inside the 238 00:15:21,715 --> 00:15:24,555 Speaker 1: left handers, and left handers get a lot of broken, 239 00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:29,275 Speaker 1: bad hits in the shallow outfield, the shallow part of 240 00:15:29,315 --> 00:15:32,795 Speaker 1: the outfield. That's the danger in bringing the infield in 241 00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:49,035 Speaker 1: with a guy like Ribera on the mountain Florida Center 242 00:15:49,155 --> 00:15:57,235 Speaker 1: Traild the Diamondbacks part World sampparents Louis Gonzalez's hit landed 243 00:15:57,795 --> 00:16:01,915 Speaker 1: exactly where Tim McCarver had said the Yankees should have 244 00:16:01,955 --> 00:16:06,675 Speaker 1: had their infielders playing but didn't. When I saw Tim 245 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,915 Speaker 1: the next season, I said this to him, and I 246 00:16:09,955 --> 00:16:13,315 Speaker 1: said this about him to every TV writer who asked that. 247 00:16:13,315 --> 00:16:17,595 Speaker 1: That was the Bill Mazeroski World Series winning home run 248 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:22,555 Speaker 1: of all baseball analysis ever, and so in the last 249 00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:25,195 Speaker 1: twenty years, Whenever it was my privilege to see Tim 250 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:28,915 Speaker 1: McCarver at a ballpark, he would always say two things 251 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,995 Speaker 1: to me, as if he were saying them to me 252 00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:35,635 Speaker 1: for the first time. He would say, thank you, Keith 253 00:16:35,635 --> 00:16:38,715 Speaker 1: for what you said about two thousand one, And Keith, 254 00:16:39,035 --> 00:16:45,435 Speaker 1: I was just thinking of your dear mother, as so 255 00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:49,515 Speaker 1: many of us will now be just thinking of our 256 00:16:49,595 --> 00:17:00,035 Speaker 1: dear friend and colleague, Tim McCarver. This is countdown with 257 00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:06,555 Speaker 1: Keith over me. Pos scripts to the news, some headlines, 258 00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:10,115 Speaker 1: some updates, some snarks, some predictions. State Line twelve eleven 259 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:14,155 Speaker 1: sixth Avenue, New York City. When Jackie Heinrich of Fox 260 00:17:14,195 --> 00:17:18,035 Speaker 1: News tweeted on November twelve, two twenty, that quote there 261 00:17:18,155 --> 00:17:21,715 Speaker 1: is no evidence that any voting system deleted or lost votes, 262 00:17:21,835 --> 00:17:26,755 Speaker 1: or was in any way compromised, Foxes Tucker Carlson texted 263 00:17:26,835 --> 00:17:31,315 Speaker 1: his pal Sean Hannity quote, please get her fired, seriously, 264 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:35,955 Speaker 1: What the blank. I'm actually shocked. It needs to stop immediately. 265 00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:40,995 Speaker 1: It's measurably hurting the company. The stock prices down. The 266 00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:46,275 Speaker 1: message got to Fox's PR person, the eternally loathsome Arena 267 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:52,075 Speaker 1: Briguante and Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott, nominally in charge 268 00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:55,915 Speaker 1: of news at Fox News. Scott sent Briguanty a text 269 00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:59,635 Speaker 1: about the reporter who had actually reported the truth. Quote, 270 00:17:59,715 --> 00:18:02,635 Speaker 1: she has serious nerve doing this and if this gets 271 00:18:02,675 --> 00:18:05,755 Speaker 1: picked up, viewers are going to be They're disgusted. This 272 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:09,755 Speaker 1: is the head of news at Fox News deliberately undermining 273 00:18:10,435 --> 00:18:14,635 Speaker 1: the news all. This part of a one ninety two 274 00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:18,195 Speaker 1: page document filed a month ago by Dominion Voting Systems 275 00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:21,915 Speaker 1: and its suit against Fox News, revealed yesterday. It is 276 00:18:22,075 --> 00:18:26,515 Speaker 1: full of internal Fox texts and memos. The story gets 277 00:18:26,515 --> 00:18:29,435 Speaker 1: as far as Rupert Murdoch, who got up out of 278 00:18:29,515 --> 00:18:33,275 Speaker 1: his crypt and emailed Suzanne Scott about the real issue 279 00:18:33,355 --> 00:18:37,035 Speaker 1: here that News Max was taking away Fox News as audience. 280 00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:41,235 Speaker 1: They quote should be watched if skeptically, Trump will concede 281 00:18:41,235 --> 00:18:45,195 Speaker 1: eventually on what you should concentrate on. Joja helping anyway 282 00:18:45,195 --> 00:18:48,715 Speaker 1: we can. Rupe, of course, meant that Georgia's Senate runoff, 283 00:18:48,755 --> 00:18:52,275 Speaker 1: which they lost. We don't want to antagonoliged chump Feather, 284 00:18:52,635 --> 00:18:56,355 Speaker 1: but Giuliani taken with a large grain of salt, everything 285 00:18:56,395 --> 00:19:01,875 Speaker 1: at steak care. Should he never use the words steak 286 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:06,475 Speaker 1: like you know, draculum The real problem for Fox. Maybe 287 00:19:06,515 --> 00:19:11,635 Speaker 1: Carlson's text to somebody named Piffer on January that Trump 288 00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:16,155 Speaker 1: is quote a demonic force, a destroyer. Twenty days later, 289 00:19:16,235 --> 00:19:19,955 Speaker 1: Carlson added, what Trump's good at his destroying things. He's 290 00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:22,995 Speaker 1: the world champion of that. He could easily destroy us 291 00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:27,035 Speaker 1: if we play it wrong. There is so much in 292 00:19:27,115 --> 00:19:31,875 Speaker 1: the page document about the canceling of an entire Janine 293 00:19:31,955 --> 00:19:35,675 Speaker 1: Pierro show after it was recorded, Texts in which Sean 294 00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:39,075 Speaker 1: Hannity says Rudy Giuliani is acting like an insane person, 295 00:19:39,515 --> 00:19:43,395 Speaker 1: and Laura Ingram calls him sanchin anniant and to lou Dobbs, 296 00:19:43,395 --> 00:19:47,915 Speaker 1: producers refer to Giuliani's insanity lately and how he is 297 00:19:48,115 --> 00:19:51,275 Speaker 1: so full of blank. There's so much in here they 298 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:54,515 Speaker 1: should make it into a Netflix series, and the title 299 00:19:54,515 --> 00:20:00,915 Speaker 1: of the Netflix series should be morons never write anything down. 300 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:27,435 Speaker 1: Thank you, Nancy Faust, Dateline, Atlanta. Man. At this rate, 301 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:30,075 Speaker 1: we're going to find out whether they're indicting Trump sometime 302 00:20:30,115 --> 00:20:33,275 Speaker 1: in the year forty seven sixty six. A judge has 303 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:37,315 Speaker 1: now released another part of the special Grand Jury investigation 304 00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:40,755 Speaker 1: into Trump's attempt to overthrow democracy and alter the outcome 305 00:20:40,795 --> 00:20:44,795 Speaker 1: of presidential vote in Georgia. And among the endless dribs 306 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:48,875 Speaker 1: and drabs, this drib says the jurors at the grand 307 00:20:48,955 --> 00:20:51,875 Speaker 1: jury believe one or more of the witnesses they heard 308 00:20:52,355 --> 00:20:56,235 Speaker 1: committed perjury. That is, out of seventy five witnesses, So 309 00:20:56,315 --> 00:20:59,235 Speaker 1: we can have no idea who the one or ones 310 00:20:59,355 --> 00:21:05,235 Speaker 1: might have been. Rudy Rudy Dateline, Washington. Senator On Fetterman 311 00:21:05,275 --> 00:21:07,915 Speaker 1: of Pennsylvania not only had the guts to check himself 312 00:21:07,955 --> 00:21:10,435 Speaker 1: into Walter Reid because he did not feel right, but 313 00:21:10,515 --> 00:21:12,595 Speaker 1: he had the guts to issue a statement indicating was 314 00:21:12,715 --> 00:21:16,035 Speaker 1: because he was suffering from acute depression. Not only do 315 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:19,235 Speaker 1: doctors expect a quick recovery, but lord knows how many 316 00:21:19,315 --> 00:21:22,435 Speaker 1: people who are afraid or ashamed of that diagnosis just 317 00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:24,915 Speaker 1: got the courage to seek help because of what Senator 318 00:21:24,955 --> 00:21:28,435 Speaker 1: Fetterman did at date Line, New York the Central Park 319 00:21:28,595 --> 00:21:30,755 Speaker 1: Zoo here in New York. I know I flackoed you 320 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:34,235 Speaker 1: to death. But two weeks into his freedom, the escaped 321 00:21:34,315 --> 00:21:37,275 Speaker 1: eagle owl has proved he can survive on his own. 322 00:21:37,835 --> 00:21:41,075 Speaker 1: He loves Central Park and is exploring it. He feeds 323 00:21:41,155 --> 00:21:44,515 Speaker 1: himself by eating rats and he seems to have learned 324 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:47,875 Speaker 1: to perch only where people can see him and photograph 325 00:21:47,995 --> 00:21:51,875 Speaker 1: him easily, So naturally, the zoo is rumored to have 326 00:21:51,995 --> 00:21:54,955 Speaker 1: set a honey trap to try to recapture him after 327 00:21:55,075 --> 00:21:59,155 Speaker 1: two weeks. Put a female eagle owl, or possibly just 328 00:21:59,355 --> 00:22:02,275 Speaker 1: a recording of a female eagle owl. It's hard to 329 00:22:02,315 --> 00:22:04,595 Speaker 1: be sure in the dark, right because in a trap 330 00:22:04,915 --> 00:22:10,115 Speaker 1: to snare him, why he's functioning beautifully. He still lives 331 00:22:10,155 --> 00:22:13,755 Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. What's the greater risk that Flacco might 332 00:22:13,955 --> 00:22:17,315 Speaker 1: eat a rat that just ate rat poison, or that 333 00:22:17,395 --> 00:22:19,395 Speaker 1: he has to live another fifty years in a small 334 00:22:19,595 --> 00:22:23,715 Speaker 1: room and dateline St. Petersburg, Russia, the head of the 335 00:22:23,795 --> 00:22:27,675 Speaker 1: Financial Support Department of the Russian Defense Ministry there is dead. 336 00:22:28,235 --> 00:22:33,155 Speaker 1: Fifty eight year old Marina Yankina fell out of a window, 337 00:22:33,715 --> 00:22:36,195 Speaker 1: and she, of course is the first prominent Russian government 338 00:22:36,275 --> 00:22:39,395 Speaker 1: official or military official to die in that fashion. In 339 00:22:39,595 --> 00:22:49,435 Speaker 1: nearly eight weeks ahead Fridays with Thurber and fittingly with 340 00:22:49,475 --> 00:22:52,795 Speaker 1: the passing him a great baseball broadcaster, I'll read you 341 00:22:52,915 --> 00:22:55,355 Speaker 1: Thurber's story, which starts with the words of another great 342 00:22:55,395 --> 00:22:59,915 Speaker 1: baseball broadcaster first time for the daily Roundup of the miscreants, morons, 343 00:22:59,955 --> 00:23:03,435 Speaker 1: and Dunning Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's whereas persons 344 00:23:03,475 --> 00:23:08,235 Speaker 1: in the world the bronze. Nicki Haley I forgot something yesterday. 345 00:23:08,275 --> 00:23:12,675 Speaker 1: In my screed about her presidential candidacy announcement, she says 346 00:23:12,755 --> 00:23:16,275 Speaker 1: she would advocate for a mental competency test for any 347 00:23:16,475 --> 00:23:20,635 Speaker 1: presidential candidate over the age of seventy five. Why over 348 00:23:20,795 --> 00:23:23,835 Speaker 1: seventy five? Why not over fifty? I mean, you think 349 00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:27,915 Speaker 1: Trump only went crazy on his seventy six birthday and 350 00:23:27,995 --> 00:23:30,875 Speaker 1: he wasn't crazy at fifty one. You know why she 351 00:23:30,915 --> 00:23:33,275 Speaker 1: doesn't want to make the test mandatory at fifty, right, 352 00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:37,995 Speaker 1: because she's fifty one. Last July, Nicki Haley tweeted out 353 00:23:38,035 --> 00:23:41,035 Speaker 1: a meme that looked like a register receipt. It read 354 00:23:41,195 --> 00:23:45,395 Speaker 1: Joe Biden's inconvenience store, and it showed price increases for 355 00:23:45,475 --> 00:23:50,915 Speaker 1: a hot dog fifteen point six percent, Annesota and condiments 356 00:23:50,955 --> 00:23:53,475 Speaker 1: eleven point nine percent, ice cream nine point six percent, 357 00:23:53,635 --> 00:23:56,035 Speaker 1: and bread eight point seven percent, and watermelon eight point 358 00:23:56,075 --> 00:23:57,915 Speaker 1: two percent, and then at the bottom it listed the 359 00:23:57,995 --> 00:24:02,435 Speaker 1: total sixty seven point two percent, which is not the 360 00:24:02,515 --> 00:24:06,475 Speaker 1: way percentages work. And why would Nicki Haley know that 361 00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:12,715 Speaker 1: just because her degree from Clemson is in accounting. Why 362 00:24:13,195 --> 00:24:17,435 Speaker 1: if I can go from two to four in each 363 00:24:17,555 --> 00:24:20,035 Speaker 1: state poll by the end of the day, I'll be 364 00:24:20,115 --> 00:24:22,475 Speaker 1: at a hundred percent in the polls for the whole country, 365 00:24:22,555 --> 00:24:28,795 Speaker 1: will not not the runner up? Culter Geist and Coulter 366 00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:33,755 Speaker 1: went on a podcast this weekend called Nicki Haley a bimbo, 367 00:24:34,395 --> 00:24:38,115 Speaker 1: made fun of India's reverence for cows and insisted Haley 368 00:24:38,795 --> 00:24:41,435 Speaker 1: should well. The quote was, why don't you go back 369 00:24:41,515 --> 00:24:45,435 Speaker 1: to your own country? Unquote? Nicki Haley was born in Bamburg, 370 00:24:45,555 --> 00:24:49,395 Speaker 1: South Carolina. As I have said ever since I first 371 00:24:49,435 --> 00:24:52,115 Speaker 1: heard Coulter claimed that she graduated from Cornell with a 372 00:24:52,195 --> 00:24:55,355 Speaker 1: history degree. I'm gonna need to see the actual diploma 373 00:24:55,635 --> 00:24:59,155 Speaker 1: because even us Cornell agg guys know how to use 374 00:24:59,275 --> 00:25:05,715 Speaker 1: the Google knitwit. But the winner, Marco get, a choreographer 375 00:25:05,835 --> 00:25:10,155 Speaker 1: from Germany. He says that the critic Vibka Hooster wrote 376 00:25:10,235 --> 00:25:13,675 Speaker 1: yet another personal attack on him, disguised in the form 377 00:25:13,835 --> 00:25:17,555 Speaker 1: of a review, so he responded as all thoughtful artists would. 378 00:25:17,995 --> 00:25:20,875 Speaker 1: He went up to miss Hooster at Hanover's Opera House 379 00:25:20,955 --> 00:25:26,035 Speaker 1: last Saturday and smeared dog feces all over her face. 380 00:25:26,755 --> 00:25:30,675 Speaker 1: She screamed, she got the cops. He apologized profusely, and 381 00:25:30,715 --> 00:25:32,995 Speaker 1: then the hanover State Ballet said it could only do 382 00:25:33,155 --> 00:25:38,195 Speaker 1: one thing under those circumstances, keep presenting his marvelous ballet works. 383 00:25:38,595 --> 00:25:43,235 Speaker 1: Feces be damned chastened by his good fortune. Geky then 384 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:45,795 Speaker 1: said he was wrong to smear dog feces all over 385 00:25:45,835 --> 00:25:48,195 Speaker 1: the critics face, but he added that coverage of this 386 00:25:48,355 --> 00:25:51,075 Speaker 1: story was all wrong and should not be focused on 387 00:25:51,275 --> 00:25:54,475 Speaker 1: him smearing faces on her face, but on how wrong 388 00:25:56,435 --> 00:26:00,635 Speaker 1: she was as a reviewer. I'm still not free of 389 00:26:00,755 --> 00:26:04,595 Speaker 1: this anger, get added, since she had only written two 390 00:26:04,795 --> 00:26:08,355 Speaker 1: positive pieces about his work. Ever, he then said, if 391 00:26:08,435 --> 00:26:10,835 Speaker 1: I'd been a woman and the critical man, this would 392 00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:15,635 Speaker 1: be seen differently. Unquote now no, actually, And I say 393 00:26:15,715 --> 00:26:18,555 Speaker 1: this as a guy who for six years had a 394 00:26:18,635 --> 00:26:21,355 Speaker 1: TV critic in Los Angeles right hit pieces on me 395 00:26:21,675 --> 00:26:24,115 Speaker 1: and later it turned out he was taking bribes from 396 00:26:24,155 --> 00:26:26,915 Speaker 1: a rival TV station. I say it is that guy. 397 00:26:27,435 --> 00:26:31,155 Speaker 1: If Mr Giky, you were a real man, you would 398 00:26:31,235 --> 00:26:35,755 Speaker 1: not have smeared dog feces on a critic space. And 399 00:26:35,875 --> 00:26:40,435 Speaker 1: by the way, Marco who brings dog feces to the ballet. 400 00:26:40,715 --> 00:26:48,835 Speaker 1: Geker today's worse parson with dog feces. Thet least it 401 00:26:48,915 --> 00:27:05,955 Speaker 1: was his own dog. In the words Still Ahead on 402 00:27:06,035 --> 00:27:08,795 Speaker 1: Countdown Fridays with Thurber and in memory of my late 403 00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:11,915 Speaker 1: friend Tim McCarver, What better than the story that hinges 404 00:27:12,915 --> 00:27:16,235 Speaker 1: on the words of another immortal baseball broadcaster, Red Barber 405 00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:21,555 Speaker 1: The catbird seat First. In each edition of Countdown, we 406 00:27:21,635 --> 00:27:23,635 Speaker 1: feature a dog in need you can help. Every dog 407 00:27:23,715 --> 00:27:26,675 Speaker 1: has its day, and we'll go to outside Houston in 408 00:27:26,835 --> 00:27:34,315 Speaker 1: Spring Texas and Rio Falcon, Titan, Torino, and Tundra. Five 409 00:27:34,395 --> 00:27:37,995 Speaker 1: beautiful brown and brindle two month old stray pups who 410 00:27:38,075 --> 00:27:42,315 Speaker 1: have been filled by the dreaded word Parvo. Corridor Rescue 411 00:27:42,395 --> 00:27:44,515 Speaker 1: of Spring Texas has them. They are in the e 412 00:27:44,755 --> 00:27:47,675 Speaker 1: R at the local animal hospital. Parva virus is a 413 00:27:47,795 --> 00:27:51,355 Speaker 1: nightmarish scourge of young dogs. Two of the pups are 414 00:27:51,395 --> 00:27:53,955 Speaker 1: doing well, the other three are touch and go. Costs 415 00:27:54,115 --> 00:27:57,275 Speaker 1: to try to save them all a little over eight 416 00:27:57,355 --> 00:28:00,315 Speaker 1: hundred dollars each, Just eight hundred dollars each. Go to 417 00:28:00,515 --> 00:28:03,995 Speaker 1: giving grid dot com and search carridor Rescue and they'll 418 00:28:04,035 --> 00:28:05,835 Speaker 1: pop up, or you can just look for them on 419 00:28:05,915 --> 00:28:08,795 Speaker 1: my Twitter feed. Donate if you can your retweets will 420 00:28:08,795 --> 00:28:13,235 Speaker 1: also help greatly. I thank you and Rio, Falcon, Titan, Torino, 421 00:28:13,675 --> 00:28:28,315 Speaker 1: and Tundra. Also thank you to the number one story 422 00:28:28,355 --> 00:28:30,675 Speaker 1: on the Countdown. And since it is the weekend addition, 423 00:28:30,755 --> 00:28:34,955 Speaker 1: it's time for some James Thurber. The Catbird Seat combines 424 00:28:35,075 --> 00:28:39,035 Speaker 1: two of my all time favorite things, Thurber and baseball broadcasting. 425 00:28:39,555 --> 00:28:42,395 Speaker 1: As Thurber will reveal in the story, the title comes 426 00:28:42,435 --> 00:28:45,995 Speaker 1: from a catchphrase used by the Brooklyn Dodgers legendary announcer 427 00:28:46,075 --> 00:28:49,795 Speaker 1: Red Barber, the man who trained Vince Scully and is 428 00:28:49,915 --> 00:28:53,275 Speaker 1: my late friend Vin's only true competition for greatest baseball 429 00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:56,435 Speaker 1: play by play man of all time. I met Red 430 00:28:56,515 --> 00:28:59,715 Speaker 1: Barber once I interviewed him for CNN. He called me 431 00:28:59,915 --> 00:29:03,355 Speaker 1: Keith throughout the interview. I was so star struck. It's 432 00:29:03,395 --> 00:29:08,075 Speaker 1: pretty much all our member from the interview. Anyway. Bert 433 00:29:08,275 --> 00:29:11,635 Speaker 1: Lancaster bought the movie rights to this story and he 434 00:29:11,755 --> 00:29:15,755 Speaker 1: got Billy Wilder to commit to direct it. Well, how 435 00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:18,555 Speaker 1: come you've never heard of this perfect sounding film, The 436 00:29:18,635 --> 00:29:23,515 Speaker 1: Catbird Seat, directed by Billy Wilder. They sold the rights 437 00:29:23,955 --> 00:29:26,955 Speaker 1: and in nineteen sixty the film was made, but they 438 00:29:27,035 --> 00:29:32,595 Speaker 1: relocated it from Manhattan to Scotland. Starring Peter Sellers dressed 439 00:29:32,675 --> 00:29:37,035 Speaker 1: up as an old man as Mr Martin. It's okay 440 00:29:37,995 --> 00:29:41,235 Speaker 1: unless you've read the story or had it read to 441 00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:48,635 Speaker 1: you from the Thurber Carnival The Catbird Seat by James Thurber. 442 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:53,635 Speaker 1: Mr Martin bought the pack of camels on Monday night 443 00:29:53,675 --> 00:29:56,475 Speaker 1: in the most crowded cigar store on Broadway. It was 444 00:29:56,595 --> 00:29:59,595 Speaker 1: theater time and seven or eight men were buying cigarettes. 445 00:30:00,155 --> 00:30:02,355 Speaker 1: The clerk didn't even glance at Mr Martin, who put 446 00:30:02,435 --> 00:30:05,795 Speaker 1: the pack in his overcoat pocket and went out. If 447 00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:08,875 Speaker 1: any of the staff at F and S had seen 448 00:30:08,995 --> 00:30:13,515 Speaker 1: him by the cigarettes, they would have been astonished, for 449 00:30:13,675 --> 00:30:16,075 Speaker 1: it was generally known that Mr Martin did not smoke, 450 00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:21,075 Speaker 1: and never had. No one saw him. It was just 451 00:30:21,235 --> 00:30:23,595 Speaker 1: a week to the day since Mr Martin had decided 452 00:30:23,635 --> 00:30:29,315 Speaker 1: to rub out Mrs Old Jean Barrows. The term rub 453 00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:33,715 Speaker 1: out pleased him because it suggested nothing more than the 454 00:30:33,755 --> 00:30:37,875 Speaker 1: correction of an error, in this case, an error of 455 00:30:38,115 --> 00:30:42,115 Speaker 1: Mr Fitzweiler. Mr Martin had spent each night of the 456 00:30:42,155 --> 00:30:45,035 Speaker 1: past week working out his plan and examining it as 457 00:30:45,115 --> 00:30:47,955 Speaker 1: he walked home. Now he went over it again for 458 00:30:48,155 --> 00:30:52,915 Speaker 1: the hundredth time. He resented the element of imprecision, the 459 00:30:53,035 --> 00:30:56,875 Speaker 1: margin of guesswork that entered into the business. The project, 460 00:30:57,355 --> 00:31:00,875 Speaker 1: as he had worked it out, was casual and bold. 461 00:31:01,475 --> 00:31:06,275 Speaker 1: The risks were considerable. Something might go wrong anywhere along 462 00:31:06,395 --> 00:31:10,675 Speaker 1: the line, and therein lay the cunning of his scheme. 463 00:31:11,115 --> 00:31:15,035 Speaker 1: No one would ever see in the cautious, painstaking hand 464 00:31:15,115 --> 00:31:18,075 Speaker 1: of Irwin Martin, head of the filing department at F 465 00:31:18,275 --> 00:31:22,355 Speaker 1: and S, of whom Mr Fittweiler had once said, man 466 00:31:22,635 --> 00:31:26,795 Speaker 1: is fellow little, but Martin isn't. No one would see 467 00:31:26,955 --> 00:31:32,555 Speaker 1: his hand, that is, unless he were caught in the act. 468 00:31:34,555 --> 00:31:37,755 Speaker 1: Sitting in his apartment drinking a glass of milk, Mr 469 00:31:37,875 --> 00:31:41,795 Speaker 1: Martin reviewed his case against Mrs Old Jean Barrows, as 470 00:31:41,875 --> 00:31:46,115 Speaker 1: he had every night for seven nights. He began at 471 00:31:46,115 --> 00:31:50,195 Speaker 1: the beginning. Her quacking voice and braying laugh at first 472 00:31:50,395 --> 00:31:53,755 Speaker 1: profaned the halls of F and S. On March seven, 473 00:31:56,395 --> 00:32:00,035 Speaker 1: Mr Martin had a head for dates Old Roberts, the 474 00:32:00,075 --> 00:32:04,235 Speaker 1: personnel chief, had introduced her as the newly appointed special 475 00:32:04,355 --> 00:32:07,515 Speaker 1: at isser to the President of the firm, Mr Fittweiler. 476 00:32:08,315 --> 00:32:12,435 Speaker 1: The woman had appalled Mr Martin instantly, but he had 477 00:32:12,475 --> 00:32:15,555 Speaker 1: not shown it. He had given her his dry hand 478 00:32:15,675 --> 00:32:19,595 Speaker 1: a look of studious concentration and a faint smile. Wow, 479 00:32:20,675 --> 00:32:23,235 Speaker 1: she said, looking at the papers on his desk. Are 480 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:27,035 Speaker 1: you lifting the ox cart out of the ditch. As 481 00:32:27,435 --> 00:32:31,995 Speaker 1: Mr Martin recalled that moment over his milk, he squirmed slightly. 482 00:32:32,835 --> 00:32:34,875 Speaker 1: He must keep his mind on her crimes as a 483 00:32:34,955 --> 00:32:39,315 Speaker 1: special advisor, not on her peccadillos as a personality. This 484 00:32:39,515 --> 00:32:42,395 Speaker 1: he found difficult to do. In spite of entering an 485 00:32:42,435 --> 00:32:45,795 Speaker 1: objection and sustaining it. The faults of the woman as 486 00:32:45,835 --> 00:32:48,635 Speaker 1: a woman kept chattering on in his mind like an 487 00:32:48,715 --> 00:32:53,835 Speaker 1: unruly witness. She had for almost two years now baited 488 00:32:53,955 --> 00:32:57,515 Speaker 1: him in the halls, in the elevator, even in his 489 00:32:57,595 --> 00:33:00,515 Speaker 1: own office, into which she romped now and then like 490 00:33:00,675 --> 00:33:06,675 Speaker 1: a circus horse. She was constantly shouting these silly questions 491 00:33:06,715 --> 00:33:08,955 Speaker 1: at him. I left in the ox cart out of 492 00:33:08,995 --> 00:33:12,435 Speaker 1: the ditch. Are you tearing up the pea patch? Are 493 00:33:12,515 --> 00:33:15,875 Speaker 1: you hollering down the rain barrel? Are you scraping around 494 00:33:15,915 --> 00:33:19,235 Speaker 1: the bottom of the pickle barrel? Are you sitting in 495 00:33:19,355 --> 00:33:26,035 Speaker 1: the cat married seat. It was Joey Hart, one of 496 00:33:26,275 --> 00:33:31,115 Speaker 1: Mr Martin's two assistants, who had explained what the gibberish meant. 497 00:33:32,475 --> 00:33:35,515 Speaker 1: She must be a dodgeing fan. He had said, Red 498 00:33:35,635 --> 00:33:38,235 Speaker 1: Boba announces the dodging games over the radio, and he 499 00:33:38,395 --> 00:33:43,475 Speaker 1: uses these expressions picked them up down south. Joey had 500 00:33:43,515 --> 00:33:46,435 Speaker 1: gone on to explain one or two tearing up the 501 00:33:46,555 --> 00:33:50,475 Speaker 1: pea patch meant going on a rampage. Sitting in the 502 00:33:50,635 --> 00:33:54,515 Speaker 1: catbird seat meant sitting pretty like a batter with three 503 00:33:54,595 --> 00:33:58,395 Speaker 1: balls and no strikes on him. Mr Martin dismissed all 504 00:33:58,475 --> 00:34:01,395 Speaker 1: this with an effort. It had been annoying, it had 505 00:34:01,475 --> 00:34:04,435 Speaker 1: driven him near to distraction, but he was too solid 506 00:34:04,715 --> 00:34:09,715 Speaker 1: and to be moved to murder by anything so childish. 507 00:34:11,035 --> 00:34:13,995 Speaker 1: It was unfortunate, he reflected, as he passed on to 508 00:34:14,075 --> 00:34:17,115 Speaker 1: the important charges against Mrs Barrows, that he had stood 509 00:34:17,195 --> 00:34:22,075 Speaker 1: up under it so well. He had maintained always an 510 00:34:22,195 --> 00:34:27,715 Speaker 1: outward appearance of polite tolerance. Why I even believed you 511 00:34:27,875 --> 00:34:31,315 Speaker 1: liked the woman mispaired, his other assistant had once said 512 00:34:31,355 --> 00:34:35,955 Speaker 1: to him, he had simply smiled a gavil wrapped in 513 00:34:36,115 --> 00:34:38,515 Speaker 1: Mr Martin's mind, and the case proper was resumed. Mrs 514 00:34:38,555 --> 00:34:42,475 Speaker 1: all Jean Barrows stood charged with willful, blatant and persistent 515 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:46,435 Speaker 1: attempts to destroy the efficiency and system of f and S. 516 00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:50,755 Speaker 1: It was confident material and relevant to review her advent 517 00:34:50,915 --> 00:34:54,435 Speaker 1: and rise to power. Mr Martin had got the story 518 00:34:54,515 --> 00:34:58,115 Speaker 1: from Miss Pair, who seemed always able to find things out. 519 00:34:59,115 --> 00:35:03,635 Speaker 1: According to her, Mrs Barrows had met Mr Fitweller at 520 00:35:03,675 --> 00:35:07,115 Speaker 1: a party where she had rescued him from the embraces 521 00:35:07,155 --> 00:35:10,515 Speaker 1: of a powerfully built, drunken man who had mistaken the 522 00:35:10,555 --> 00:35:14,035 Speaker 1: president of F and S for a famous retired middle 523 00:35:14,075 --> 00:35:18,835 Speaker 1: Western football coach. She had led him to a sofa 524 00:35:18,915 --> 00:35:24,195 Speaker 1: and somehow worked upon him a monstrous magic. The aging 525 00:35:24,235 --> 00:35:26,995 Speaker 1: gentleman had jumped to the conclusion there and then that 526 00:35:27,155 --> 00:35:30,475 Speaker 1: this was a woman of singular attainments, equipped to bring 527 00:35:30,555 --> 00:35:33,995 Speaker 1: out the best in him and in the firm. A 528 00:35:34,075 --> 00:35:36,915 Speaker 1: week later he had introduced her into F and S 529 00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:44,875 Speaker 1: as his special adviser. On that day, Confusion got its 530 00:35:44,955 --> 00:35:49,995 Speaker 1: foot in the door. After Miss Tyson, Mr Brundage and 531 00:35:50,115 --> 00:35:52,555 Speaker 1: Mr Bartlett had been fired and Mr Munson had taken 532 00:35:52,595 --> 00:35:55,875 Speaker 1: his hat and stalked out mailing. In his resignation letter, 533 00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:59,955 Speaker 1: Old Roberts had been emboldened to speak to Mr Fitweiler. 534 00:36:00,475 --> 00:36:03,715 Speaker 1: He mentioned that Mr Munson's department had become a little 535 00:36:03,835 --> 00:36:08,075 Speaker 1: disrupted and hadn't they perhaps better resume the old system there. 536 00:36:09,275 --> 00:36:12,515 Speaker 1: Mr Fitweller had said, certainly not. He had the greatest 537 00:36:12,635 --> 00:36:16,795 Speaker 1: faith in Mrs barrows ideas they he require a little seasoning. 538 00:36:17,235 --> 00:36:21,675 Speaker 1: Little seasoning is all, he had added. Mr Roberts had 539 00:36:21,715 --> 00:36:25,315 Speaker 1: given it up. Mr Martin reviewed in detail all the 540 00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:28,395 Speaker 1: changes wrought by Mrs Barrows. She had begun chipping at 541 00:36:28,435 --> 00:36:31,435 Speaker 1: the cornices of the firm's edifice, and now she was 542 00:36:31,515 --> 00:36:37,195 Speaker 1: swinging at the foundation stones with a pickaxe. Mr Martin 543 00:36:37,275 --> 00:36:39,675 Speaker 1: came now in his summing up to the afternoon of Monday, 544 00:36:39,755 --> 00:36:45,555 Speaker 1: November two, just one week ago. On that day, at 545 00:36:45,595 --> 00:36:49,675 Speaker 1: three pm, Mrs Barrows had bounced into his office boom, 546 00:36:50,115 --> 00:36:52,675 Speaker 1: She had yelled, are you scraping around the bottom of 547 00:36:52,715 --> 00:36:57,195 Speaker 1: the pickle barrel? Mr Martin had looked at her from 548 00:36:57,275 --> 00:37:01,395 Speaker 1: under his green eye shade, saying nothing. She had begun 549 00:37:01,515 --> 00:37:04,035 Speaker 1: to wander about the office, taking it in with her 550 00:37:04,075 --> 00:37:09,395 Speaker 1: great popping eyes. Do you really need all these filing cabinets, 551 00:37:10,195 --> 00:37:16,915 Speaker 1: she had demanded. Suddenly Mr Martin's heart had jumped each 552 00:37:16,995 --> 00:37:19,715 Speaker 1: of these files, he had said, keeping his voice even 553 00:37:20,075 --> 00:37:23,315 Speaker 1: plays an indispensable part in the system of f and s. 554 00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:27,155 Speaker 1: She had brayed at him while don't tear up the 555 00:37:27,235 --> 00:37:31,155 Speaker 1: pea patch and gone to the door. From there she 556 00:37:31,275 --> 00:37:34,395 Speaker 1: had bawled, but you share have got a lot of 557 00:37:34,555 --> 00:37:39,915 Speaker 1: fine scrap in here. Mr Martin could no longer doubt 558 00:37:39,995 --> 00:37:44,915 Speaker 1: that the finger was on his beloved department. Her pick 559 00:37:44,995 --> 00:37:48,595 Speaker 1: axe was on the upswing, poise for the first blow. 560 00:37:49,915 --> 00:37:52,795 Speaker 1: It had not come yet. He had received no blue 561 00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:57,315 Speaker 1: memo from the enchanted Mr Fitweller bearing nonsensical instructions deriving 562 00:37:57,555 --> 00:38:00,555 Speaker 1: from this obscene woman, But there was no doubt in 563 00:38:00,635 --> 00:38:04,995 Speaker 1: Mr Martin's mind that one would be forthcoming. He must actally. 564 00:38:05,715 --> 00:38:10,835 Speaker 1: Already a precious week had gone by. Mr Martin stood 565 00:38:10,875 --> 00:38:14,075 Speaker 1: up in his living room, still holding his milk glass. 566 00:38:15,315 --> 00:38:18,715 Speaker 1: Gentleman of the jury, he said to himself, I demand 567 00:38:20,155 --> 00:38:27,395 Speaker 1: the death penalty for this horrible person. The next day, 568 00:38:27,475 --> 00:38:30,315 Speaker 1: Mr Martin followed his routine as usual. He polished his 569 00:38:30,395 --> 00:38:33,475 Speaker 1: glasses more often and once sharpened and already sharp pencil, 570 00:38:33,515 --> 00:38:37,155 Speaker 1: but not even misspair noticed. Only once did he catch 571 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,995 Speaker 1: sight of his victim. She swept past him in the 572 00:38:40,075 --> 00:38:44,235 Speaker 1: hall with a patronizing hi. At five thirty. He walked 573 00:38:44,275 --> 00:38:46,755 Speaker 1: home as usual and had a glass of milk as usual. 574 00:38:47,755 --> 00:38:51,635 Speaker 1: He had never drunk anything stronger in his life, unless 575 00:38:51,635 --> 00:38:55,595 Speaker 1: you could count ginger Ale. The late Sam Schlosser, the 576 00:38:55,915 --> 00:38:58,435 Speaker 1: s of F and S, had praised Mr Martin at 577 00:38:58,435 --> 00:39:01,355 Speaker 1: a staff meeting several years before for his temperate habits. 578 00:39:02,195 --> 00:39:05,715 Speaker 1: One of our most efficient workers. Neither drinks nor smokes, 579 00:39:06,275 --> 00:39:10,955 Speaker 1: he had said, The results speak for themselves. Mr Fittweler 580 00:39:10,995 --> 00:39:15,715 Speaker 1: had sat by, nodding approval. Mr Martin was still thinking 581 00:39:15,715 --> 00:39:17,755 Speaker 1: about that red letter day as he walked over to 582 00:39:17,835 --> 00:39:21,995 Speaker 1: the Shafts restaurant on Fifth Avenue near Street. He got there, 583 00:39:21,995 --> 00:39:24,635 Speaker 1: as he always did, at eight o'clock. He finished his 584 00:39:24,675 --> 00:39:26,835 Speaker 1: dinner and the financial page of the New York Sun 585 00:39:26,995 --> 00:39:29,795 Speaker 1: a quartered at the nine. As he always did, It 586 00:39:29,915 --> 00:39:32,315 Speaker 1: was his custom after dinner to take a walk. This 587 00:39:32,435 --> 00:39:35,035 Speaker 1: time he walked down Fifth Avenue at a casual place. 588 00:39:35,995 --> 00:39:40,515 Speaker 1: His gloved hands felt moist and warm, his forehead cold. 589 00:39:41,235 --> 00:39:44,635 Speaker 1: He transferred the camels from his overcoat to a jacket pocket. 590 00:39:44,915 --> 00:39:46,795 Speaker 1: He wondered as he did so, if they did not 591 00:39:46,915 --> 00:39:53,635 Speaker 1: represent an unnecessary note of strain. Mrs Barrows smoked only Lucky's. 592 00:39:54,515 --> 00:39:56,755 Speaker 1: It was his idea to puff a few puffs on 593 00:39:57,075 --> 00:40:01,235 Speaker 1: a camel after the rubbing out stub it out in 594 00:40:01,315 --> 00:40:05,355 Speaker 1: the ashtray, holding her lipstick, saying Lucky's Thus dragged a 595 00:40:05,435 --> 00:40:09,435 Speaker 1: small red herring across the trail. Perhaps it was not 596 00:40:09,555 --> 00:40:13,275 Speaker 1: a good idea. It would take time. He might even 597 00:40:13,435 --> 00:40:19,115 Speaker 1: choke too loudly. Mr Martin had never seen the house 598 00:40:19,195 --> 00:40:21,595 Speaker 1: on West twelfth Street where Mrs Barrows lived, but he 599 00:40:21,635 --> 00:40:24,195 Speaker 1: had a clear enough picture of it. Fortunately, she had 600 00:40:24,275 --> 00:40:29,035 Speaker 1: bragged to everybody about her ducky first floor apartment in 601 00:40:29,115 --> 00:40:33,675 Speaker 1: the perfectly darling three story red brick. There would be 602 00:40:33,755 --> 00:40:36,715 Speaker 1: no doorman or other attendants, just the tenants of the 603 00:40:36,755 --> 00:40:39,675 Speaker 1: second and third floors. As he walked along, Mr Martin 604 00:40:39,755 --> 00:40:44,315 Speaker 1: realized that he would get there before nine. He had 605 00:40:44,355 --> 00:40:47,595 Speaker 1: considered walking north on Fifth Avenue from Shrafts to a 606 00:40:47,675 --> 00:40:50,035 Speaker 1: point from which it would take him until ten o'clock 607 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:52,755 Speaker 1: to reach the house. At that hour people were less 608 00:40:52,795 --> 00:40:55,075 Speaker 1: likely to be coming in or going out, But the 609 00:40:55,195 --> 00:40:57,995 Speaker 1: procedure would have made an awkward loop in the straight 610 00:40:58,435 --> 00:41:02,355 Speaker 1: thread of his casualness, and he had abandoned it. It 611 00:41:02,475 --> 00:41:04,915 Speaker 1: was impossible to figure when people would be entering or 612 00:41:04,995 --> 00:41:07,395 Speaker 1: leaving the house. Anyway, there was a great risk at 613 00:41:07,435 --> 00:41:10,875 Speaker 1: any hour if he ran into anybody. He would simply 614 00:41:10,915 --> 00:41:13,115 Speaker 1: have to place the rubbing out of Old Jean Barrows 615 00:41:13,195 --> 00:41:18,715 Speaker 1: in the inactive file forever. The same thing would hold 616 00:41:18,755 --> 00:41:21,475 Speaker 1: true if there was someone in her apartment. In that case, 617 00:41:21,515 --> 00:41:23,195 Speaker 1: he would just say that he had been passing by, 618 00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:30,195 Speaker 1: recognized her charming house, and thought to drop in. It 619 00:41:30,315 --> 00:41:32,635 Speaker 1: was eighteen minutes after nine when Mr Martin turned into 620 00:41:32,675 --> 00:41:35,475 Speaker 1: twelfth straight. A man passed him, and a man and 621 00:41:35,555 --> 00:41:39,075 Speaker 1: a woman talking. There was no one within fifty paces. 622 00:41:39,115 --> 00:41:41,475 Speaker 1: When he came to the house halfway down the block. 623 00:41:42,395 --> 00:41:44,395 Speaker 1: He was up the steps and in the small vestibule, 624 00:41:44,475 --> 00:41:46,475 Speaker 1: and no time pressing the bell under the card that 625 00:41:46,555 --> 00:41:49,035 Speaker 1: said Mrs Old Jean Barrows. When the clicking in the 626 00:41:49,115 --> 00:41:51,315 Speaker 1: lock started, he jumped forward against the door. He got 627 00:41:51,355 --> 00:41:54,115 Speaker 1: inside fast, closing the door behind him. A bulb in 628 00:41:54,195 --> 00:41:56,275 Speaker 1: a lantern hung from the hall ceiling on a chain 629 00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:59,635 Speaker 1: seemed to give a monstrously bright light. There was nobody 630 00:41:59,715 --> 00:42:01,435 Speaker 1: on the stair which went up ahead of him along 631 00:42:01,475 --> 00:42:04,235 Speaker 1: the left wall. A door opened down the hall on 632 00:42:04,315 --> 00:42:07,355 Speaker 1: the wall all on the right. He went toward it 633 00:42:07,515 --> 00:42:13,675 Speaker 1: swiftly on tiptoe. Well, for God's sakes, let who's here baled? 634 00:42:13,835 --> 00:42:16,995 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows and her braying laugh rang out like the 635 00:42:17,075 --> 00:42:20,275 Speaker 1: report of a shotgun. He rushed past her like a 636 00:42:20,315 --> 00:42:25,195 Speaker 1: football tacker, bumping her. Hey quit shoving, she said, closing 637 00:42:25,235 --> 00:42:28,155 Speaker 1: the door behind them. They were in her living room, 638 00:42:28,275 --> 00:42:30,795 Speaker 1: which seemed to Mr Martin to be lighted by a 639 00:42:30,995 --> 00:42:35,915 Speaker 1: hundred lamps. What's after you? She said, You're as jumpy 640 00:42:35,955 --> 00:42:39,835 Speaker 1: as a goat. He found he was unable to speak. 641 00:42:40,395 --> 00:42:45,595 Speaker 1: His heart was wheezing in his throat. I yes, he 642 00:42:45,715 --> 00:42:49,195 Speaker 1: finally brought out. She was jabbering and laughing as she 643 00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:51,635 Speaker 1: started to help him off with his coat. No, no, 644 00:42:52,115 --> 00:42:55,755 Speaker 1: he said, I'll put it here. He took it off 645 00:42:55,835 --> 00:42:58,675 Speaker 1: and put it on a chair near the door. Your 646 00:42:58,715 --> 00:43:01,995 Speaker 1: hat and gloves too, She said, you're in a ladies house. 647 00:43:03,155 --> 00:43:05,555 Speaker 1: He put his hat on top of the oat. Mrs 648 00:43:05,635 --> 00:43:09,275 Speaker 1: Barrows seemed larger than he had thought. He kept his 649 00:43:09,435 --> 00:43:15,995 Speaker 1: gloves on. I was passing by, he said, I I recognized. 650 00:43:17,355 --> 00:43:21,955 Speaker 1: Is there anyone here? She laughed louder than ever, No, 651 00:43:22,595 --> 00:43:25,835 Speaker 1: she said, we're all alone. You're why is this sheet? 652 00:43:25,915 --> 00:43:28,795 Speaker 1: You funny man? Whatever has come over you? I'll mix 653 00:43:28,835 --> 00:43:32,235 Speaker 1: you a toddy. She started toward a door across the room. 654 00:43:32,675 --> 00:43:35,555 Speaker 1: Scotch and soda be all right, but say you don't drink, 655 00:43:35,675 --> 00:43:40,115 Speaker 1: do you? She turned and gave him her amused look. 656 00:43:40,955 --> 00:43:44,555 Speaker 1: Mr Martin pulled himself together. Scotch and soda will be 657 00:43:44,635 --> 00:43:47,635 Speaker 1: all right, he heard himself say. He could hear her 658 00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:51,555 Speaker 1: laughing in the kitchen. Mr Martin looked quickly around the 659 00:43:51,595 --> 00:43:54,755 Speaker 1: living room for the weapon he had counted on finding one. 660 00:43:54,835 --> 00:43:58,275 Speaker 1: There there were and irons, and a poker, and something 661 00:43:58,315 --> 00:44:00,875 Speaker 1: in a corner that looked like an Indian club. None 662 00:44:00,915 --> 00:44:04,275 Speaker 1: of them would do it, couldn't be that way. He 663 00:44:04,355 --> 00:44:06,995 Speaker 1: began pace around. He came to a desk. On it 664 00:44:07,115 --> 00:44:10,155 Speaker 1: lamb metal paper knife with an ornate handle. Would it 665 00:44:10,195 --> 00:44:13,075 Speaker 1: be sharp enough? He reached for it and knocked over 666 00:44:13,155 --> 00:44:16,395 Speaker 1: a small brash jar. Stamps spilled out of it and 667 00:44:16,475 --> 00:44:20,035 Speaker 1: fell onto the floor with a clatter. Hey, Mrs Barrows 668 00:44:20,115 --> 00:44:23,035 Speaker 1: yelled from the kitchen. Are you tearing up the pea patch? 669 00:44:24,795 --> 00:44:28,715 Speaker 1: Mr Martin gave a strange laugh. Picking up the knife, 670 00:44:28,795 --> 00:44:31,715 Speaker 1: he tried its point against his left wrist. It was blunt. 671 00:44:32,715 --> 00:44:39,035 Speaker 1: It wouldn't do. When Mrs Barrows reappeared carrying two highballs, 672 00:44:40,035 --> 00:44:42,955 Speaker 1: Mr Martin, standing there with his gloves on, became acutely 673 00:44:42,995 --> 00:44:47,435 Speaker 1: conscious of the fantasy. He had wrought cigarettes in his 674 00:44:47,555 --> 00:44:51,115 Speaker 1: pocket a drink prepared for him. It was all too 675 00:44:51,675 --> 00:44:56,595 Speaker 1: grossly improbable. It was more than that, it was impossible. 676 00:44:58,395 --> 00:45:03,275 Speaker 1: Somewhere in the back of his mind, a vague idea 677 00:45:04,115 --> 00:45:10,475 Speaker 1: stir sprouted. For Heaven's sake, take off those gloves, said 678 00:45:10,595 --> 00:45:14,395 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows. I always wear them in the house, said 679 00:45:14,515 --> 00:45:21,435 Speaker 1: Mr Martin. The idea began to bloom, strange and wonderful. 680 00:45:22,675 --> 00:45:24,755 Speaker 1: She put the glasses on a coffee table in front 681 00:45:24,755 --> 00:45:27,115 Speaker 1: of a sofa and sat on the sofa. Come over here, 682 00:45:27,195 --> 00:45:31,235 Speaker 1: you odd little man, she said. Mr Martin went over 683 00:45:31,315 --> 00:45:34,235 Speaker 1: and sat beside her. It was difficult getting a cigarette 684 00:45:34,275 --> 00:45:35,995 Speaker 1: out of the pack of camels, but he managed it. 685 00:45:36,395 --> 00:45:39,515 Speaker 1: She held a match for him, Laughing well, she said, 686 00:45:39,915 --> 00:45:43,235 Speaker 1: handing him his drink. This is perfectly Mira, bless you 687 00:45:44,115 --> 00:45:50,035 Speaker 1: with a drink and a cigarette. Mr Martin puffed, not 688 00:45:50,395 --> 00:45:54,795 Speaker 1: too awkwardly, and took a gulp of the highball. I 689 00:45:54,875 --> 00:45:58,315 Speaker 1: drink and smoke all the time, he said. He clinked 690 00:45:58,395 --> 00:46:03,475 Speaker 1: his glass against hers. Here's nuts to that old windbag fitweiler, 691 00:46:03,955 --> 00:46:07,795 Speaker 1: he said, and gulped again. The stuff tasted awful, but 692 00:46:07,875 --> 00:46:11,075 Speaker 1: he made no grimace. Really, Mr Martin, she said, her 693 00:46:11,155 --> 00:46:16,955 Speaker 1: voice and posture changing. You are insulting our employer. Mrs 694 00:46:16,995 --> 00:46:21,915 Speaker 1: Barrows was now all Special Adviser to the President. I 695 00:46:22,035 --> 00:46:25,955 Speaker 1: am preparing a bomb, said Mr Martin, which will blow 696 00:46:26,115 --> 00:46:30,235 Speaker 1: the old goat higher than hell. He had only had 697 00:46:30,275 --> 00:46:32,075 Speaker 1: a little of the drink, which was not strong. It 698 00:46:32,115 --> 00:46:36,875 Speaker 1: couldn't be that. Do you take dope or something, Mrs 699 00:46:36,915 --> 00:46:42,755 Speaker 1: Barrows asked coldly. Heroin said Mr Martin. I'll be cooked 700 00:46:42,875 --> 00:46:45,835 Speaker 1: to the gills when I bumped that old buzzard off, 701 00:46:46,555 --> 00:46:49,755 Speaker 1: Mr Martin, she shouted, getting to her feet, that will 702 00:46:49,795 --> 00:46:53,155 Speaker 1: be all of that. You must go at once. Mr 703 00:46:53,235 --> 00:46:56,035 Speaker 1: Martin took another swallow of the drink. He tapped his 704 00:46:56,115 --> 00:46:58,395 Speaker 1: cigarette out in the ash tray and put the pack 705 00:46:58,515 --> 00:47:00,475 Speaker 1: of camels on the coffee table. Then he got up. 706 00:47:01,515 --> 00:47:04,355 Speaker 1: She stood glaring at him. He walked over and put 707 00:47:04,395 --> 00:47:07,995 Speaker 1: on his hat and coat. Not a word about this, 708 00:47:08,675 --> 00:47:11,515 Speaker 1: he said, and laid an index finger against his lips. 709 00:47:12,155 --> 00:47:16,515 Speaker 1: All Mrs Barrows could bring out was a really. Mr 710 00:47:16,635 --> 00:47:20,275 Speaker 1: Martin put his hand on the door knob. I'm sitting 711 00:47:20,355 --> 00:47:25,235 Speaker 1: in the catbirds seat, he said. He stuck his tongue 712 00:47:25,355 --> 00:47:32,915 Speaker 1: out at her and left. Nobody saw him go. Mr 713 00:47:33,035 --> 00:47:36,475 Speaker 1: Martin got to his apartment walking well before eleven. No 714 00:47:36,595 --> 00:47:39,035 Speaker 1: one saw him go in. He had two glasses of 715 00:47:39,115 --> 00:47:42,635 Speaker 1: milk after brushing his teeth, and he felt elated it 716 00:47:42,795 --> 00:47:45,995 Speaker 1: wasn't tipsy in his because he hadn't been tipsy anyway. 717 00:47:46,075 --> 00:47:48,475 Speaker 1: The walk had worn off all effects of the whiskey. 718 00:47:49,195 --> 00:47:51,315 Speaker 1: He got in bed and read a magazine for a while. 719 00:47:51,715 --> 00:47:56,315 Speaker 1: He was asleep before midnight. Mr Martin got to the 720 00:47:56,395 --> 00:47:59,155 Speaker 1: office at eight thirty the next morning as usual. At 721 00:47:59,155 --> 00:48:01,555 Speaker 1: a quarter to nine, Old Jean Barrows, who had never 722 00:48:01,675 --> 00:48:04,635 Speaker 1: before arrived at work before ten, swept into his office. 723 00:48:04,995 --> 00:48:08,515 Speaker 1: I am departing to Mr Fittweiler now, she shouted. If 724 00:48:08,555 --> 00:48:10,755 Speaker 1: he turns you over to the police, it's no more 725 00:48:10,835 --> 00:48:14,235 Speaker 1: than you deserve. Mr Martin gave her a look of 726 00:48:14,395 --> 00:48:19,955 Speaker 1: shocked surprise. I beg your pardon, he said. Mrs Barrows 727 00:48:20,075 --> 00:48:22,475 Speaker 1: snorted and bounced out of the room, leaving Miss Pared 728 00:48:22,515 --> 00:48:26,555 Speaker 1: and Joey Harton staring after her. What's the matter with that, 729 00:48:26,675 --> 00:48:30,755 Speaker 1: Old Daniel now, asked Miss Pared. I have no idea, 730 00:48:31,035 --> 00:48:34,315 Speaker 1: said mister Martin, resuming his work. The other two looked 731 00:48:34,355 --> 00:48:36,795 Speaker 1: at him, and then at each other. Miss peared got 732 00:48:36,875 --> 00:48:39,835 Speaker 1: up and went out. She walked slowly past the closed 733 00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:44,555 Speaker 1: door of mister Fitweiler's office. Mrs Barrows was yelling inside, 734 00:48:44,635 --> 00:48:47,235 Speaker 1: but she was not braining. Miss Pared could not hear 735 00:48:47,275 --> 00:48:49,715 Speaker 1: what the woman was saying. She went back to her desk. 736 00:48:52,155 --> 00:48:55,395 Speaker 1: Forty five minutes later, missus Barrows left the President's office 737 00:48:55,435 --> 00:48:58,075 Speaker 1: and went into her own, shutting the door. It wasn't 738 00:48:58,155 --> 00:49:00,995 Speaker 1: until half an hour later that mister Fitweiler sent for 739 00:49:01,155 --> 00:49:04,555 Speaker 1: Mr Martin, the head of the filing department. Neat quiet, attentive, 740 00:49:04,915 --> 00:49:08,035 Speaker 1: stood in front of the old man's desk. Mr Fittweiler 741 00:49:08,235 --> 00:49:12,475 Speaker 1: was pale and nervous. He took his glasses off and 742 00:49:12,595 --> 00:49:17,875 Speaker 1: twiddled them. He made a small roughing sound in his throat. Martin, 743 00:49:18,435 --> 00:49:21,715 Speaker 1: He said, you have been with us more than twenty years. 744 00:49:23,195 --> 00:49:27,795 Speaker 1: Twenty two, sir, said Mr Martin in that time pursued 745 00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:33,155 Speaker 1: the President. Your work and your manner have been exemplary. 746 00:49:34,115 --> 00:49:37,955 Speaker 1: I trust so, Sir, said Mr Martin. I have understood, Martin, 747 00:49:38,435 --> 00:49:41,195 Speaker 1: said Mr Fittweler, that you have never taken a drink 748 00:49:41,315 --> 00:49:47,555 Speaker 1: or smoked. That is correct, Sir, said Mr Martin. Ah, yes. 749 00:49:48,315 --> 00:49:53,035 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler polished his glasses you may describe what you 750 00:49:53,115 --> 00:49:57,835 Speaker 1: did after leaving the office yesterday, Martin, he said, certainly, sir, 751 00:49:58,315 --> 00:50:01,235 Speaker 1: he said, I walked home. Then I went to Shrafts 752 00:50:01,275 --> 00:50:04,195 Speaker 1: for dinner. Afterward, I walked home again. I went to 753 00:50:04,275 --> 00:50:06,315 Speaker 1: bed early, sir, and read a magazine for a while. 754 00:50:06,395 --> 00:50:12,715 Speaker 1: I was asleep before eleven. Ah. Yes, said Mr Fittweiler again. 755 00:50:14,235 --> 00:50:16,635 Speaker 1: He was silent for a moment, searching for the proper 756 00:50:16,715 --> 00:50:18,715 Speaker 1: words to say to the head of the filing department, 757 00:50:20,435 --> 00:50:26,075 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows. He said, finally, Mrs Barrows has worked hard, Martin, 758 00:50:27,155 --> 00:50:30,195 Speaker 1: very hard. It ringused me to report that she has 759 00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:33,155 Speaker 1: suffered a severe breakdown. It has taken the form of 760 00:50:33,195 --> 00:50:41,155 Speaker 1: a persecution complex accompanied by distressing hallucinations. I'm very sorry, sir, 761 00:50:41,715 --> 00:50:46,795 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin. Mrs Barrows is under the delusion, continued 762 00:50:46,915 --> 00:50:51,755 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler, that you visited her last evening and behaved 763 00:50:51,795 --> 00:50:56,835 Speaker 1: yourself in an unseemly matter. He raised his hand to 764 00:50:56,915 --> 00:51:00,475 Speaker 1: silence Mr Martin's little, pained outcry. It is the nature 765 00:51:00,475 --> 00:51:05,075 Speaker 1: of these psychological diseases, Mr Fittweiler said, to fit upon 766 00:51:05,195 --> 00:51:09,635 Speaker 1: the least likely and most innocent party as the source 767 00:51:09,755 --> 00:51:13,475 Speaker 1: of persecution. These matters are not for the lay mind 768 00:51:13,715 --> 00:51:17,515 Speaker 1: to grasp. Martin. I've just had my psychiatrist, Dr Fitch 769 00:51:17,595 --> 00:51:20,555 Speaker 1: on the phone. UH. He would not, of course commit himself, 770 00:51:20,675 --> 00:51:25,915 Speaker 1: but he made enough generalizations to substantiate my suspicions. I 771 00:51:26,195 --> 00:51:30,915 Speaker 1: suggested to Mrs Barrows, when she had completed her UH 772 00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:35,635 Speaker 1: story to me this morning, that she visit Dr Fitch 773 00:51:36,835 --> 00:51:39,595 Speaker 1: for I suspected a condition to watch seen. She flew, 774 00:51:39,715 --> 00:51:44,355 Speaker 1: I regret to say, into a rage and demanded requested 775 00:51:44,995 --> 00:51:49,075 Speaker 1: that I call you on the carpet. You may not know, Martin, 776 00:51:49,195 --> 00:51:53,195 Speaker 1: but Mrs Barrows had planned a reorganization of your department, 777 00:51:53,555 --> 00:51:56,275 Speaker 1: subject to my approval. Of course, subject to my approval. 778 00:51:56,875 --> 00:51:59,755 Speaker 1: This brought you, rather than anyone else to her mind. 779 00:51:59,835 --> 00:52:03,195 Speaker 1: But again that is a phenomenon for Dr Fitch and 780 00:52:03,555 --> 00:52:09,155 Speaker 1: not for us. So Martin, I'm afraid Mrs Barrow's usefulness 781 00:52:09,275 --> 00:52:14,875 Speaker 1: here is at an end. I'm dreadfully sorry, sir, said 782 00:52:14,995 --> 00:52:18,995 Speaker 1: Mr Martin. It was at this point that the door 783 00:52:19,155 --> 00:52:21,675 Speaker 1: to the office blew open with the suddenness of a 784 00:52:21,795 --> 00:52:26,395 Speaker 1: gas main explosion, and Mrs Barrows catapulted through. It is 785 00:52:26,435 --> 00:52:29,555 Speaker 1: the little rat denying it, she screamed. He can't get 786 00:52:29,635 --> 00:52:33,555 Speaker 1: away with that, Mr Martin got up and moved discreetly 787 00:52:33,595 --> 00:52:37,275 Speaker 1: to a point beside Mr Fittweiler's chair. You drank and 788 00:52:37,475 --> 00:52:40,515 Speaker 1: smoked at my apartment, she bawled at Mr Martin, And 789 00:52:40,635 --> 00:52:43,115 Speaker 1: you know it. You called Mr Fittweiler an old wind 790 00:52:43,195 --> 00:52:45,475 Speaker 1: bag and said you were gonna blow them up when 791 00:52:45,475 --> 00:52:50,075 Speaker 1: you got coked to your gills on your heroine. She 792 00:52:50,195 --> 00:52:52,635 Speaker 1: stopped yelling to catch her breath, and a new glint 793 00:52:52,755 --> 00:52:57,075 Speaker 1: came into her popping eyes. If you weren't set to drab, ordinary, 794 00:52:57,155 --> 00:53:01,275 Speaker 1: little man, she said, I'd think you'd planned it all, 795 00:53:02,035 --> 00:53:04,755 Speaker 1: sticking your tongue out, saying you were sitting in a 796 00:53:04,875 --> 00:53:08,235 Speaker 1: cat buried seat because you thought no one would believe 797 00:53:08,315 --> 00:53:13,115 Speaker 1: me when I told it. My god, it's really too perfect. 798 00:53:14,155 --> 00:53:17,475 Speaker 1: She brayed loudly and hysterically, and the fury was on 799 00:53:17,595 --> 00:53:20,915 Speaker 1: her again. She glared at Mr Fittweiler. Can't you see 800 00:53:21,075 --> 00:53:24,475 Speaker 1: how he has checked as you, old fool? Can't you 801 00:53:24,595 --> 00:53:29,275 Speaker 1: see his little game? But Mr Fittweiler had been surreptitiously 802 00:53:29,355 --> 00:53:32,075 Speaker 1: pressing all the buttons under the top of his desk, 803 00:53:32,395 --> 00:53:35,275 Speaker 1: and employees of F and S began pouring into the room. 804 00:53:35,635 --> 00:53:39,835 Speaker 1: Stockton said, Mrs Pittweiler, you and Fishbone will take Mrs 805 00:53:39,875 --> 00:53:44,155 Speaker 1: Barrows to her home. Mrs Powell, you will go with them. Stockton, 806 00:53:44,155 --> 00:53:46,435 Speaker 1: who had played a little football in high school, blocked 807 00:53:46,635 --> 00:53:49,715 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows as she made for Mr Martin. It took 808 00:53:49,795 --> 00:53:52,595 Speaker 1: him in fish Mine together to force her out of 809 00:53:52,675 --> 00:53:56,475 Speaker 1: the door into the hall crowded with stenographers and office boys. 810 00:53:56,955 --> 00:54:00,675 Speaker 1: She was still screaming imprecations at Mr Martin, tangled and 811 00:54:00,795 --> 00:54:06,315 Speaker 1: contradictory imprecations. The hubbub finally died out down the corridor. 812 00:54:07,955 --> 00:54:11,715 Speaker 1: I regret that this has happened, said Mr Fittweiler. I 813 00:54:11,835 --> 00:54:16,795 Speaker 1: shall ask you to dismiss it from your mind. Martin. Yes, sir, 814 00:54:17,275 --> 00:54:20,835 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin, anticipating his chiefs. That will be all. 815 00:54:22,035 --> 00:54:27,555 Speaker 1: By moving to the door, I will dismiss it. He 816 00:54:27,635 --> 00:54:30,795 Speaker 1: went out and shut the door, and his step was 817 00:54:30,955 --> 00:54:35,075 Speaker 1: light and quick in the hall. When he entered his department, 818 00:54:35,115 --> 00:54:37,835 Speaker 1: he had slowed down to his customary gate, and he 819 00:54:37,915 --> 00:54:43,155 Speaker 1: walked quietly across the room to the double New twenty file, 820 00:54:44,315 --> 00:54:51,155 Speaker 1: wearing a look of studious concentration. From the Thurber conable 821 00:54:51,555 --> 00:55:09,555 Speaker 1: The Catbird Seat by James Thurber, Countdown has come to 822 00:55:09,595 --> 00:55:13,555 Speaker 1: you from the studios of Alderman Broadcasting Empire World headquarters 823 00:55:13,595 --> 00:55:15,595 Speaker 1: in the Sports Capsule Building in New York. Thank you 824 00:55:15,675 --> 00:55:18,515 Speaker 1: for listening. Here are the credits. Most of the music, 825 00:55:18,595 --> 00:55:22,955 Speaker 1: including our theme from Beethoven's Ninth arranged, produced performed by 826 00:55:23,035 --> 00:55:27,315 Speaker 1: Brian Ray and John Philip Channel the countdown musical directors Guitars, 827 00:55:27,395 --> 00:55:31,035 Speaker 1: bass and drums by Brian Ray, All orchestration and keyboards 828 00:55:31,075 --> 00:55:34,235 Speaker 1: by John Philip Chanelle produced by t Ko Brothers. Other 829 00:55:34,315 --> 00:55:37,035 Speaker 1: Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the group 830 00:55:37,115 --> 00:55:40,635 Speaker 1: No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Alderman theme 831 00:55:40,715 --> 00:55:44,075 Speaker 1: from ESPN two. It was written by Mitch Warren Davis 832 00:55:44,315 --> 00:55:48,875 Speaker 1: and it appears courtesy of ESPN musical comments by Nancy Faust. 833 00:55:48,915 --> 00:55:52,155 Speaker 1: The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was 834 00:55:52,235 --> 00:55:55,155 Speaker 1: Stevie Van's Aunt, and I thank him. As always. Everything 835 00:55:55,195 --> 00:55:57,875 Speaker 1: else was pretty much my fault. So let's countdown for this, 836 00:55:57,955 --> 00:56:01,835 Speaker 1: the seven seventy third day since Donald Trump's first attempted 837 00:56:01,915 --> 00:56:04,555 Speaker 1: coup against the democratically elected government of the United States. 838 00:56:05,115 --> 00:56:08,395 Speaker 1: Arrest him now while we still can. The next schedule 839 00:56:08,515 --> 00:56:11,795 Speaker 1: countdown with the holiday coming is Tuesday until then I'm 840 00:56:11,875 --> 00:56:15,555 Speaker 1: Keith Alderman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. 841 00:56:25,595 --> 00:56:28,315 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith all Reman is a production of I 842 00:56:28,515 --> 00:56:32,115 Speaker 1: heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit 843 00:56:32,195 --> 00:56:35,555 Speaker 1: the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 844 00:56:35,715 --> 00:56:36,835 Speaker 1: get your podcasts.