WEBVTT - Finally admitting a lie I've told... 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:13.800 I think I get this from my dad. But tell 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:17.200 me if you guys do this. Sometimes I will kid. 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:20.720 I'll kid with somebody he's a stranger. I'll start kidding 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:23.959 and I'll start joking around with them, and then sometimes 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:27.400 they think that I'm serious, And that's the moment where 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:32.280 you could either continue the joke and say I'm just 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:35.760 messing with you, or sometimes that moment feels like it 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:38.680 might be a little too awkward, so you just extend 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:43.400 the joke a little longer, the lie, and make it 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.919 a little bit more outrageous so that then they go, 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:51.319 you're kidding, right, But if that doesn't happen, you take 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:56.080 it a little further and keep making a little bit 0:00:56.080 --> 0:01:01.080 more outrageous, hoping eventually they're going to say, oh, you're joking. 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:05.319 But sometimes they don't. Sometimes they keep going and by 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:08.720 then you're so far out there that you cannot turn 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:11.680 back and say you're kidding, because then you're gonna make 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:15.560 them think that you're just making fun of them. I've 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:17.920 had this happen a few times. Then I'm gonna talk 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.360 about one of those times on this podcast and let 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:22.120 me know comment will if you have had this or 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:25.000 if you're that kind of person sometimes being a joking 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:30.040 person backfars on you. So I got my buddy Bernie Calcot, 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.839 one of my favorite guests on this podcast, to answer 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:37.440 your questions. If you have one, email Granger Smith Podcast 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.640 at gmail dot com. I'd love to hear from you, 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.039 even if it's just a shout out or a question 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:47.000 about anything. I'm gonna help you with that. Welcome to 0:01:47.040 --> 0:02:22.000 the Granger Smith Podcast. Ye yee roll. The intro did 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:29.200 change in DC. My tires and school, long line of 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:41.320 my fool of husband down, going back range your coronage. Yeah, 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:51.519 that gation. Thanks for having me back. You're back, Bernie's back. 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.519 We're gonna answer some questions. And Bernie is one of 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.160 my favorite people to have with me. In fact, I 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.880 had him last week. And the reason I have Bernie 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:03.679 helped me answer these questions is because when I have 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:11.120 a question about life, could be anything, career, family, faith, outdoors, 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:14.120 it's like it sounds like I'm describing eegee. If I 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.919 have a question, I will call Bernie. I've done it 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.320 for twenty years, So I just figured you guys asked 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:21.040 me all these questions and it'd be nice to have 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:23.919 someone that I trust helping me answer them. If you 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:27.959 have anything, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Could 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:31.799 be any kind of subject I have kind of categorized 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:35.240 some today for the podcast. Happy Monday morning to everyone. 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:38.240 I'm going to dig in. Yeah, let's do it. So 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.960 last week we answered a bunch of questions and we 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:44.840 left one that unanswered. That's right. The subject line was 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:48.240 boyfriend wanting to be in the music industry. M hm. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.800 So I figured today I'll open this box and see 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:55.160 what it says. Yeah, says hey Granger. My name is Marissa. 0:03:55.240 --> 0:04:00.360 I'm twenty three years old, currently in Franklin, Tennessee. Oh, Franklin, Tennessee. Yeah, 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.600 my boyfriend is trying to become a drummer and a band. 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:06.680 He is attending dark Horse Institute. Do you have any 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.440 advice for him? What is the best thing I could 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:11.440 do to show him my love and support him in 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:17.120 his dream? I am a mechanic apprentice and financially want 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:19.920 to let him go full on with his passion without 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:23.640 spreading himself too thin. He has an opportunity to do 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:26.440 an internship with dark Horse, but we would need to 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.040 get a job to pay the bills. On top of that, 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.280 I'm not afraid to get a second job to help 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.160 him get there. We're coming up on three years together. 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:36.839 I honestly want to do whatever needed to take care 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.359 of him. We picked up our whole lives in Colorado, 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.560 and I'm afraid he won't continue following his dream just 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:44.840 because we may not financially be able to do it. 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:49.000 How do we find the financial balance with following his 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:54.080 dreams without either of us draining out? And she says, 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:56.520 I saw you at Grizzly Rose in Colorado. Keep up 0:04:56.560 --> 0:05:06.200 the good work. Thanks, Marissa Drummer, she say the drummer's name. Okay, 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:14.680 let's start with this. You're really asking for advice that 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:21.600 we could only really give to a married couple. And 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:23.800 it's kind of digging a little deep here, and that's 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.600 kind and I don't want to. I don't want to 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.840 disrespect you in that way at all, or your boyfriend, 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:36.960 but just being honest, you're asking me to answer financial 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:46.520 goal oriented questions when you aren't legally married, and so 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:55.600 it's almost irrelevant. So my first advice to you is 0:05:55.800 --> 0:06:02.240 get that taken care of, because yeah, it sounds like 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:04.040 you're trying to I mean, yeah, it sounds like you're 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.240 all in on the guy, and he's all in on you. Yeah, 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:08.680 you love him, You obviously love him. That's why you're 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:11.240 asking all these questions. So go ahead and take care 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:16.200 of that so that you know, in a court of law. 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.840 First of all, everything I mean what you're all, the 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:24.320 stuff you're saying, if one of you dies or something happens, 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:26.680 none of it matters because in the court of law, 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:30.760 none of it's going to hold together. Yeah. So and 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:38.360 then it's not your money helping him. It's y'all's money together. Yeah, 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:43.000 everything is is y'all's together. It also just protects you. 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.360 I mean, I know you love him, I know you 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:49.920 trust him, but the dude, he's a drummer. Yeah, if 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:53.080 he takes off on you, and you've invested not only 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.360 your money, but your time, and not only your time, 0:06:56.400 --> 0:07:00.240 but even more importantly, your home from Colorado to ten See, 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.320 you've given this up, and you're probably thinking, oh, absolutely, 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:04.920 I love him, I trust him, I get it, I 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:09.720 get that, But you get you've sacrificed a lot for this, 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.880 and the first thing you need to get in return 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:17.560 is a ring on your finger. It's probably not at 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:20.040 all what she was expecting to say. Answer was going 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:23.000 to go, Yeah, I think there's a lot of questions 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:26.640 that I would have for Marissa about you know, your 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:30.760 relationship and did you guys move from Colorado to Franklin, 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.680 which is outside of Nashville. That's it sounds like to 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:37.440 be close to the music business. And again, you know, 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.600 I'll every time I come on, I always try to stay. 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:46.080 You can't replace the value of sitting with somebody in 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:48.640 a in a conversation, there's a dialogue, it's a back 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.760 and forth, like we have questions about like the more 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:54.280 of the situation. So it's a challenge to like give 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:57.400 you answers that are kind of like broad without knowing 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:00.760 because she may say, oh, yeah, we're engaged or we 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.000 are going to get married or you know, there's a 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:05.320 lot of questions you know to that that I would 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:09.040 be asking. But so make sure you're talking with other people, 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:11.320 you know, connected with other people that and asking him 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.960 the questions and you're walking through life with people. That's 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:16.560 why Granger and I do this, you know, or have 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:20.160 done it together, you know, for twenty years, and why 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:25.960 we help to help out some other people. Yeah, I 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:32.240 think that he shouldn't as a drummer how do you 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:35.400 how do you go all in as a drummer and 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:41.839 like not be able to you know, just kind of 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:46.160 give everything to it like this, you know, internship at 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:49.480 dark Horse. I've never heard of that, Like have you 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:52.640 heard of dark Horse? You know, I don't know what 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:57.400 that is. And I feel like dark Horse sounds familiar 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:04.160 from that Nashville days. But yeah, it's probably great, it's 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:07.920 probably expensive. And I've seen many drummers in my life. 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:11.640 I've known many drummers known. I've known drummers that play 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:13.199 on the you know, the bar down the street, and 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:18.640 I've known drummers that play for worldwide touring bands and 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:23.959 you know, justin Timberlake level, and none of them have 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:28.960 gone to dark Horse, and none of them needed dark 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.520 Horse to get them to where they were. Sure. I've 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:34.320 also known many studio musicians that are the top studio 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:38.360 musicians in the world, and none of them needed an 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:42.160 institute to get them there. What got them there was 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:45.120 ultimately meeting well, first of all, like you said in 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:50.120 the last podcast, practicing, like being absolutely obsessed with practicing, 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:54.120 and then after that, meeting the right people, getting in 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:58.200 the right band, getting down the road, meeting other people, 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.840 at festivals and you just you become the guy where 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.280 someone says, do you have a recommend nation for a drummer, 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:06.880 and you become on the top three of that list 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:09.400 for everyone that meets you. Yeah, oh dude, I got 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:16.120 a drummer. Yeah. Absolutely, So I think this Marissa Mersa, right. Yeah. 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:20.199 I think if you have reservations or you're kind of 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:24.800 wondering or like what I'm hoping, that you've had these open, 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:30.880 honest conversations with him, and regardless if you're out there 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:33.880 listening and you have these life changes or you're trying 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:37.400 to support your husband or wife or these things, there 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:41.360 has to be a dialogue and an honest dialogue about Hey, 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:46.680 I want to do this, okay, I want to support 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:49.319 you one hundred percent. Here's here's my fears in this, 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:52.280 and maybe you can help me rationalize those fears and 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:55.640 call them those or maybe they're valid reasons that we 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:58.480 need to like, maybe there's a different path to him 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:02.439 being a full time rummer in the industry. But I 0:11:02.480 --> 0:11:04.520 think there has to be a dialogue to where you 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:09.760 feel good and not just okay, but you feel excited 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.959 and enthusiastic about the adventure. You guys are going to 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.079 be on together, and I think grizz is right, Like 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:20.240 the best way for y'all to be kind of all 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.280 in on each other ups and down the highs and 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:26.880 lowses is to you know, get married. Yeah, commit for 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:28.679 the rest of your life. I need to say on 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:31.120 this podcast. And if you if you followed me for 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:34.480 a long time, you understand this. If you're new, let 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:37.520 me just be clear about something. I don't ever intend 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.000 to hurt anyone's feelings. I don't ever intend to piss 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:45.079 anyone off. I don't ever intend to throw hate or 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.319 shade your way. What I do intend is for this 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:52.040 podcast to be as if we are on a personal 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:56.160 level and we're friends and we're sitting around a campfire 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.360 and you ask advice, and we've been we've known each 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.840 other for twenty years, and I say, Marissa, I've known 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.080 you for twenty years. Let me tell you straight up, 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.600 you need to marry this dude. No girlfriend ever needs 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.040 to feel a responsibility to get a second job to 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.280 help a boyfriend. That's it. That's what I would tell you. 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.120 That's not throwing shade your way or being disrespectful. That's 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.800 how I'm trying to attempt to answer a question as 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:24.080 if we were close friends. So as I go through 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:25.679 these questions, I'm just going to tell you what's on 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:29.240 my heart. And part of the part of Bernie Talk 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:31.120 Bernie and I talked earlier, but part of the mission 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:36.680 of this podcast is to build family based, integrity driven, 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:44.199 faith oriented family life. And you're not going to get 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:48.040 there making these kind of decisions as a as a girlfriend. 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:51.800 So don't put the cart in front of the horse here, 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:53.719 or the horse in front of the cart. What do 0:12:53.800 --> 0:13:00.280 you say? What's that? Because usually don't get it fixed 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:04.800 up right, like get your pro He's right, Okay, we 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:08.560 got that straight. Yeah, thank you, MIRSSA and good luck. 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:13.320 Good luck. Drumming is uh crazy? You see that guy 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:18.440 can drum? You are good. Sorry. We did this last 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:21.000 podcast and I kind of liked it. I'll throw titles here. 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:23.360 I'm throwing some subject lines of these emails. If you 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:26.520 have anything, guys, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:28.439 Any subject could just be a shout out give it 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:38.200 to me, dealing with adversity, cease and desist, what's next, anonymous, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:44.360 please help podcast question or insert witty line to catch 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:47.760 your attention here, I gotta go with the last guy 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:51.319 or girl. Okay, all right, And I got to know 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:54.720 the date, like when was that from? It's from November 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.679 twenty twenty. Yeah, because I feel like we've talked about that, 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:02.840 you know before the US, about having you know, witty titles, 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:06.880 and that's what's going to catch so yeah. So and 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:08.319 it's kind of like a grab bag. We don't know 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.600 we're going to get here, so so is it long? Yeah? 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.679 But I know exactly where to go. Heygre and your 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.280 my name is Faith and my husband and I live 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.520 outside of a small town for about an hour outside 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:26.320 of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. And she has says some really 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:28.000 sweet things and I'm going to get straight to her 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:31.000 question here. Says, we are approaching our time for having kids, 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.360 and we talk all the time about it. What values 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:37.160 we want to be important, what life we would like, 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.280 how we need to prep et, cetera. How did you 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.080 and Amber know it was time and what things did 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.200 you consider before bringing part of you another part of 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.000 you into this world. We struggle with if we have 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.040 a baby, then if we want to make life changes 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:56.240 new house, specifically, if we what do we do if 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.680 we're able to do it and what do we focus 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:02.440 on before having kids? Which we both don't really want 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.480 to wait as long as it might take to pan 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:09.000 all this out. And it is a case of can 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:12.200 you always find something you want to accomplish or have 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:16.400 done before having a baby. I know I'm we're mentally ready, 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:21.760 but it seems very daunting. I'll be completely doing a 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.200 happy dance if you read this on your podcast and 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.360 have some advice. Thank you for reading this and taking 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:30.920 the time of the chat. Faith Faith the Canadian. Here 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:38.440 we go. I'm jump right into this faith. Yep, she says, yeah, husband, cool. 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:41.720 The time is now. Yeah, That's how I'm gonna dive 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:46.120 into it. The time is right now. The time is now. Faith. 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:52.120 There is no prep, there is no consideration. There is you. 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:56.440 There is always going to be a new life change 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.440 around the corner. There's always going to be a potential 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:03.280 new house or a new job or spurning I talked 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:08.240 earlier a new dog. Life will always give you an 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:15.160 excuse to not grow or start your family. Last week, 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:18.760 we had you know a question about I'm forty having 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:21.080 a baby? Am I too old? Yeah? So some people 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.760 are going to say I'm twenty two and we've only 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:26.600 been married nine months. Is it too early to have 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:31.560 a baby. So life is always going to throw excuses 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:37.400 to you. But the time is now, and God has 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:40.000 a purpose for you. He has he has a reason. 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:43.560 He is a meaning for you. And not only that, 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.440 but He's going to give you the tools to do 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.000 the work that these cultures do and you know, raise 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:53.600 these kids or whatever it is. And so, were you 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:57.440 guys ready for London? I don't. I don't think we 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.480 were ready. You say you're mentally ready, which is pretty awesome. 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:02.960 I don't think we I mean, I guess we were 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:07.800 kind of No. I might have said I was, but 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:11.040 when she was born, I knew I wasn't. Yeah, I 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.320 was like, wow, I wasn't ready for this. Yeah. So 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:18.600 like there's yeah, just get busy. You're good. Yeah, you're good. 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:21.359 I have run into this happens a lot in the 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:25.840 music world. I've had so many musicians, young musicians that 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.480 have come out on tour with us, and they they're 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.720 always like, yeah, me and my wife like we're just 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:34.200 waiting because I would like to have a record deal 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:39.159 before or I would like to get I the single 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:42.520 just released, or the album's coming out in November, So 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.760 we'd like to get the album out and get the 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:46.720 single out because I'm you know, I'm gonna a radio tour. 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:49.000 I'm gonna be busy and I'm gonna have to go 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.360 on the radio tour. So our thought is like, wait 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.480 till after the radio tour, like next summer, we could 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:58.760 start trying. And I'm just like, I'm always like, man, 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:03.000 you don't realize that after that single, there's another one coming. 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:07.280 There's another single, right, and that there is no preparation 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.600 for the next obstacle that life is going to bring 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:17.000 or your career is going to bring. So yeah, that faith, 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:25.280 Ye have some faith. It's time Bernie. Yeah, Okay, name 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:29.720 your first kid Bernie or Granger. I guarantee you people 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:31.920 have named their kid Granger because you have you gotten 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:34.360 like letters like we named our kid Granger. I've seen 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:38.600 the tattoos, but have you gotten like I have heard that? 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.080 You're the half heard that. Yeah, and there's not a 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:43.920 lot of Bernie's out there, guys, come on help me 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:47.639 out like we need we need more, like solid is 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:54.160 Bernie short for anything? Not Bernard or something? No? So, dude, 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:56.280 is this a secret about me? You don't know I 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.399 don't know. Okay, do you know my name is not Bernie. 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:04.399 My name is not Bernard. My name I feel like 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:08.680 I did know this. Yeah, my name is Brian. Yeah, 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:12.960 my name is Brian. And if you have a sibling 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:17.800 like I've had, like I have my brother and sister, 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:22.600 my brother Jason, who you know, will give you a 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:26.400 nickname thirty seconds after he meets you. And so since 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:29.359 I've known him my whole life, I've had a thousand 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:32.679 different nicknames. He started calling me Bernie when we were 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:38.119 playing Little League, and so it was that time that 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:42.119 the announcer said, coming up to bat, Bernie Calcoat. And 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.879 after that it was like everybody just called me Bernie. 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:52.720 And right before that he called me Bonnie Bonnie Ball 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:55.200 or something weird like that, and I like cried. I 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:57.560 was like, Jason, you've got to do something different because 0:19:57.560 --> 0:19:59.600 that one's going to stick and I cannot have that 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:02.439 be my Yeah, so we did Bernie and then they 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:04.200 announced it and it stuck and I was like, okay, 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:08.960 thank god, And so you're driver, says Brian. Brian, Yep, 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:12.720 very few people actually know that. I guess a lot more. No, now, 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:14.879 a lot of people know now, Yeah, I knew that, 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:17.399 I just couldn't remember that Jason was the one that 0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:21.320 gave you the nickname. Yeah he did, that is wild Man. 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:25.080 Next up, we're gonna go. I'm gonna throw it back 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:27.919 to you. Dealing with adversity. I think the first one 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.280 was the first one that jumped out. I think we 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:35.160 go one, then two. Dealing with adversity. Yep, what you said? Yep, Okay, 0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:38.880 this is a fresh one. This came last week. It says, 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:45.800 Hey Grager, my name is Cole. I'm from uh Patascala, Ohio. 0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:51.320 Pascala from Potascal, Ohio. I've been following you for a 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.800 good amount of time with the Smithson, with your podcast. 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:55.840 I've been dealing with a lot of adversity. Seems like 0:20:55.920 --> 0:20:58.679 it keeps on piling up. It started with my girlfriend 0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:02.359 breaking up with me on Valentine and after that I 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:03.879 was trying to take her out the night before to 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:06.440 give her something special. It wasn't anything major, but I 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:10.080 truly tried, and she said that she saw that and 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:12.960 appreciated it, but just wasn't happy anymore wanted to split. 0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:15.320 A couple weeks later, I was pulling out of the 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:17.800 parking lot and someone slammed into the side of my car. 0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:21.200 A week later, I was playing at my first home 0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:25.600 game my senior year of college football at Ohio Wesleyan 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:30.240 and hyper extended my elbow and I was out the 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:32.960 rest of the game, very similar to what I did 0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:34.639 to my right up with my senior ye of high school, 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:39.120 which I broke it. I saw something that said, being 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:43.800 positive doesn't mean being happy all the time. It means 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:47.040 that even on the hard days, better days are coming. 0:21:47.720 --> 0:21:50.680 My question is do you keep that mindset? I was 0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:54.960 always trying to remember. I was always trying to remember 0:21:55.000 --> 0:21:57.760 it's just a rough patch in life, but then something 0:21:57.800 --> 0:21:59.760 else would happen and it would start me all a 0:21:59.760 --> 0:22:02.960 little again to lose hope. I appreciate the podcast and 0:22:03.000 --> 0:22:05.600 the advice you give. I try to mimic my personal 0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:10.120 podcast after yours. That's Cole Nixon. Nice Coal, so repeating 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:13.920 Cole's little mantra here says being positive doesn't mean being 0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:16.920 happy all the time. It means that even on the 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:21.959 hard days, better days are coming. Dude, there's a lot 0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:24.920 to unpack there. I don't know how sub zero deep 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:34.240 we want to go, but Coal and I know Granger 0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:40.320 does this too. There is zero value to any words 0:22:40.400 --> 0:22:42.040 that I could come up with and advice I could 0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:43.840 come up with. What we have to do is always 0:22:43.880 --> 0:22:45.520 go back to the word. What does the word say 0:22:45.680 --> 0:22:48.240 and how do we find a way to communicate that 0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:52.000 to you in your circumstance. So what jumped out to 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:54.920 me was the first part of James where it says 0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:59.960 consider it pure joy when you experience trials of many kinds. 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:06.840 You're experiencing trials of many kinds. The way that we 0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:14.680 can consider those joy is by one understanding the ultimate 0:23:15.960 --> 0:23:21.400 reason that they are having the ultimate refinement and building 0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:26.800 of our faith perseverance that it's building in you and 0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:30.040 what ultimately that is leading us back to our reliance, 0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:36.359 you know, and our faith in God. I don't know 0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:39.680 if I can answer the question about like on the 0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:43.600 bad day, you know, you can't be positive every day. 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:48.520 I don't know specifically that. But what I do know 0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:51.359 is if we can wake up each morning and just 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:57.399 saturate ourselves in the Word, no matter what adversity or 0:23:57.560 --> 0:24:01.440 challenges that we're facing, we can start to not just 0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:04.000 view them as something that we have to get past, 0:24:04.760 --> 0:24:09.880 but an opportunity to grow into the person that God 0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:13.040 wants us to be. He's preparing us for what is next. 0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:16.000 A lot of times we get into these situations just 0:24:16.080 --> 0:24:17.520 like I just wish this was over. I wish my 0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:20.720 arm was better. I wish that I found a new girlfriend. Like, 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:27.720 don't miss these opportunities. Yeah, don't miss that's great. Yep, 0:24:28.560 --> 0:24:34.520 that's awesome. Obstacle is the way. And if you could 0:24:34.680 --> 0:24:39.280 switch your mindset, because what you're describing here, it's life, man, 0:24:39.400 --> 0:24:41.639 it's dude. It's life. Dude. Your girl broke up with you, 0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:44.480 you got in a car wreck, and you hyper extend 0:24:44.520 --> 0:24:49.760 your elbow. Welcome to life. You know this, man. And 0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:52.919 once again, this is not like a knock on you, Nicole. 0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:55.439 This is if we were on sitting around a campfire, 0:24:55.440 --> 0:24:58.639 I'd say, welcome to life. You go through rough patches, 0:24:58.720 --> 0:25:01.880 you go through easy patches, you go through clear days, 0:25:01.880 --> 0:25:04.600 you go through stormy days. So it's a mindset, like 0:25:04.680 --> 0:25:07.879 Bernie's saying, to switch when you hit those obstacles, to 0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.359 switch it and say, all right, what am I gonna 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:12.879 learn from this? I got to set back on my 0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:16.040 my elbow. What am I gonna What am I gonna learn? 0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:21.680 During the rehab process, during the the healing process. What 0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:24.479 will I have to learn to be a little bit 0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:28.040 better from in my life next time. That's why old 0:25:28.080 --> 0:25:30.000 people are so smart. For the most part. It's just 0:25:30.080 --> 0:25:33.680 been through a lot of stuff. So your girlfriend, that's 0:25:33.720 --> 0:25:36.080 the easiest one out of this whole group. You're dude, 0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:39.200 You're gonna find somebody better. You're gonna find somebody better. 0:25:39.240 --> 0:25:42.080 And the reason you're gonna find somebody better is because 0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:45.520 you learn just a little bit more through this breakup 0:25:45.680 --> 0:25:50.400