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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on work, relationships, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARVFM dot com by clicking

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know, it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: All right, thank you. A few subject he can light

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Speaker 1: the candle but can't keep it lit. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm a Christian woman and new to dating. I was

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Speaker 1: married for twenty two years and my husband divorced me

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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty two. I have dated men at church

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Speaker 1: and men that my friends hook me up with. I'm

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Speaker 1: very traditional, so I like to be courted. I want

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Speaker 1: my doors opened, and I want my man to order

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Speaker 1: for me and when we're on a date. I also

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Speaker 1: like passionate love making and refuse to settle for whamb

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Speaker 1: Thank you, mam. In the bedroom. I met a handsome

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Speaker 1: younger man online and his profile said he loves older women.

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Speaker 1: We've had a great time getting to know each other.

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Speaker 1: Then he kept pressing me to take the relationship to

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Speaker 1: the next level so we could see if we're really compatible.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why he rushed things, because he has

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Speaker 1: troubles in that area. He can light the candle, but

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Speaker 1: it doesn't stay lit for very long. The first time,

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Speaker 1: he was embarrassed and he jumped up and left my

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Speaker 1: house in a hurry. I told him that maybe it

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Speaker 1: was just stage fright, but the other three times the

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Speaker 1: same thing happened. Then for the fourth try, we did

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Speaker 1: a lot of pregaming, and he couldn't hold up through that.

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Speaker 1: I asked if he's attracted to me, and he assured

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Speaker 1: me that he is. I'm in good shape and I

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Speaker 1: look good naked. I don't want to throw him away

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Speaker 1: just because he can't last past two minutes. I also

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Speaker 1: don't want to seem desperate and let him think it

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Speaker 1: is okay be quiet that he's being passed, that he's

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Speaker 1: being that he's being pleased, and I'm not. I usually

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Speaker 1: can go to my pastor for advice on anything, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable asking him about this. What's wrong with

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Speaker 1: the wick of his candle? Well before we get into

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Speaker 1: that two things I quickly want to point out, after

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Speaker 1: twenty two years of marriage, I'm sure you used to

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Speaker 1: things being a certain way in the bedroom, so please

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Speaker 1: try not to compare other men with your ex and

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Speaker 1: what you guys had going on. Two, you never mentioned

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Speaker 1: why your husband divorced you. I would think that's vital information.

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Speaker 1: But moving on, I was gonna say, it doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like this new younger man is attracted to you at all.

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Speaker 1: But you said he assured you that he was attracted

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Speaker 1: to you. So if he is attracted to you, what's

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Speaker 1: the problem. What is the problem. It sounds like he

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Speaker 1: has some sort of medical problem, like ED or something

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Speaker 1: that could be why he's single and on a site,

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Speaker 1: he's bad and bad. He doesn't know how to please

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Speaker 1: you or any other woman because he gets too excited

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Speaker 1: every time you you know, every time you guys do it.

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Speaker 1: And you don't have to keep doing this, okay, you

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Speaker 1: don't to make him think it's okay, you can stop

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Speaker 1: right now. You're two grown people. You have to address this.

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Speaker 1: The question is is it physical? Is it mental? Is

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Speaker 1: it just plain lack of skill? Or is he lying

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Speaker 1: about being attracted to you? If one of these is

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Speaker 1: the case. Can it be fixed? And you're right, I

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Speaker 1: would not take this to the pasture. He might scold

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Speaker 1: you about Christians fornicating in the first place, and I

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Speaker 1: know you don't want to hear that, Steve.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't know if you all will recall,

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Speaker 3: but I've said on several occasions when the letter pops up,

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Speaker 3: I don't know nothing about this.

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Speaker 2: I ain't gonna be able to help you. Well, just

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Speaker 2: not on the zoom. If you've heard me say that,

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Speaker 2: just not on the zoom.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Sureley, this was the perfect time for you to

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Speaker 3: say that. This is a perfect time for you.

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Speaker 2: You don't know nothing, poptic.

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Speaker 1: Man, I'm trying to help her.

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Speaker 2: The brave attendance you information. You need to talk to

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Speaker 2: a man. See the question is he can light the candle,

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Speaker 2: but he can't kip it this.

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Speaker 3: If you don't have a candle, you ain't gonna be

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Speaker 3: able to handle this question, right, I happen to have

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Speaker 3: a candle.

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Speaker 2: I have a candle. I got the wicked I'd have.

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Speaker 3: Had it lit my whole life in the candle. I

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Speaker 3: had a candle burner on both ends and the middle too.

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Speaker 3: I know all about candle work. So now I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: take you and show you really what the real deal

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Speaker 3: is with this whole letter.

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Speaker 2: You're a Christian.

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Speaker 3: Woman, knew the Dayton, married twenty two years, Your husband

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Speaker 3: diverse divorce you in twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 2: You ain't see the correlation.

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Speaker 3: I figured he got it together, been married twenty two,

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Speaker 3: married twenty two years. It's twenty twenty two. That's a

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Speaker 3: sign from God to get out. That's why they got divorced.

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Speaker 3: He surely you missed that right there. They've been married

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Speaker 3: twenty two years. He divorced her in twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 3: You ain't see the sign. That's a sign from God.

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Speaker 3: Twenty two. Yeah, that's the number two it's going.

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Speaker 2: You should have looked it up. You see the number

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Speaker 2: book two.

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Speaker 3: If you have a dream and you see twenty two,

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Speaker 3: twenty two, it's a number you sposed to play.

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Speaker 2: So now you got that out the way.

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Speaker 3: I dated men at the church and men my friends

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Speaker 3: hooked me up with. I'm traditional, so I like to

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Speaker 3: be caught at one the doors open on the date.

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Speaker 3: I like passionate love, metal making, a refuse to settle

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Speaker 3: for wam bam, Thank you, ma'am.

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Speaker 2: In the bedroom.

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Speaker 3: So I know you're a Christian, but you out there,

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Speaker 3: you wiling a little bit because you when you've been

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Speaker 3: on a bunch of dates and it's okay, just remember

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Speaker 3: the number we should be talking about it just three.

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Speaker 3: But it sounds like you try a whole lot of

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Speaker 3: other stuff in this letter. I met a handsome younger

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Speaker 3: man online said he like older women, pressed you by

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Speaker 3: the relationship, didn't want to go to the next level.

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Speaker 3: See if y'all was a compatible you say, I don't

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Speaker 3: know why you rush thing because he has trouble in

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Speaker 3: this area. He can light the candle, but it doesn't

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Speaker 3: stay lit very long. What that means is he can

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Speaker 3: he's ready for the occasion, but he can't last the

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Speaker 3: entire huh two things, several things. He loses interest midweight.

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Speaker 3: It ain't what it was when it started.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, we'll have he has an adequate blood float.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Oh, I'll have part two of your response

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour of

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Speaker 1: today's subject. He can light the candle, but can't keep

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Speaker 1: it lit. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening hard morning show. Come on, Steve, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. The subject is he can light the candle,

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Speaker 1: but can't keep it lit.

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Speaker 3: Lady been married twenty two years. Her husband divorced her

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Speaker 3: in twenty twenty two. He took the twenty two years

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Speaker 3: of marriage. He took the year twenty twenty two and

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Speaker 3: saw that as a sign from God to get out.

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Speaker 3: So then you started dating me and at the church

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Speaker 3: people that your friends hooked you up. When you met

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Speaker 3: this young dude online said he like older women, so

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Speaker 3: you tried him.

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Speaker 2: You don't go for that. Wam bam, thank you, ma'am.

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Speaker 3: And you all were having a good time getting to

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Speaker 3: know each other, and then he wanted to press to

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Speaker 3: get physical, taken to the next level. You said, I

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Speaker 3: don't know why he rushed things because he has trouble

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Speaker 3: in that area. So here comes a letter. He can

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Speaker 3: light the candle, but it does not stay lit for

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Speaker 3: a long time.

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Speaker 2: Here is the problem. I will tell you what it

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Speaker 2: is right now.

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Speaker 3: If it don't stay lit for the duration, it is

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Speaker 3: because of a couple of things, several things.

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Speaker 2: It's not what it was in the beginning. That's one.

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Speaker 3: You have blood flow issues and some men just can't

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Speaker 3: sustain for throughout. That's the problem. But now let me

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Speaker 3: help you. The first time he was in bass, he

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Speaker 3: jumped up and left my house in the here. I

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Speaker 3: told him maybe it was just stage fright. Shut up,

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Speaker 3: What the hell are you talking about stage fright?

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Speaker 2: That ain't even what stage fright is.

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Speaker 3: So that was an ignorant, ignorant analogy of what you

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Speaker 3: thought was wrong? Are you You could put wow man,

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Speaker 3: that you too, Shirley, You can put that with everything else.

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Speaker 2: Shelly said about it, what she thought it was.

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Speaker 3: You put stage fright right on over there in Shirley's reply,

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Speaker 3: because Shirley thought that was good too.

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Speaker 2: It ain't. But the other three times the same thing happened.

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Speaker 3: Then for the fourth time we did try a lot

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Speaker 3: of pregaming, and he couldn't hold up through that too much.

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Speaker 2: Now let me tell you something.

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Speaker 3: If a man has trouble last and what you can't

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Speaker 3: do is take all the lasting time and put it

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Speaker 3: in a pre game two minutes I had a trainer.

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Speaker 3: Nobody in the letter said nothing but listen to me.

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Speaker 3: Should you had your turn to answer, letting you did.

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Speaker 2: It, but you brought me into your answers. You don't

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Speaker 2: have a candle. I told you that.

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Speaker 3: Let somebody talk that's got a candle. Ain't got an

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Speaker 3: old ass candle. Let somebody talk. I said no about this.

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Speaker 3: I got a sixty seven year old candle. Let me

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Speaker 3: change something with you so you can learn yourself something.

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Speaker 3: So now the fourth time he did a lot of

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Speaker 3: pre You can't do pregaming.

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Speaker 2: You already have trouble last.

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Speaker 3: Now you're gonna you're gonna lose it all in the

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Speaker 3: pregame show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, See that's why before the football game they out

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Speaker 3: they doing certain stretches.

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Speaker 2: Ain't nobody running up one honey yard dashing.

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Speaker 3: You got save all that they do leg exercises, warm up,

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Speaker 3: hip flexes and stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: That's what you should have did. You should have just

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Speaker 2: been in there talking, eating ships and.

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Speaker 3: Stuff, even taking your little pills, grinding them up, sprinkling on.

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Speaker 2: Top of tapioka and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: So you.

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Speaker 2: Just tell you some tricks, fellas.

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Speaker 3: If you push me, spray, if you cut them, if

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Speaker 3: you don't take the whole pill, crunch it up, that

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Speaker 3: that part dissolve and then put it in food and

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Speaker 3: swallow it. It ends your blood system a lot fast

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Speaker 3: and just try and help you. Sometimes you ain't got

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Speaker 3: no hour that don't take a piel a hour before

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Speaker 3: and noll, crunch it up, crunch it up, put it

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Speaker 3: under your.

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Speaker 2: Tongue, chew it right, sho.

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Speaker 3: The damn blood. Since I'm talking about you ain't got

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Speaker 3: to wait. Cut up you there, see that swallowing it you.

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Speaker 3: You gotta get in got the milk, crunch it up,

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Speaker 3: put it under your damn tongue and watch the.

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Speaker 2: Magic show.

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Speaker 3: Like now the candle has a thaate And then you

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Speaker 3: can't just follow the instruction. Sometimes your little problem is

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Speaker 3: more severe. Sometimes you need one and a half tabit.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes you need to take to tap it in the

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Speaker 3: morning and then two hours before an hour.

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Speaker 2: You gotta get it in your system. Damn listen, somebody

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Speaker 2: got a candle.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, now got a candle and he and then that

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Speaker 3: didn't last for the pregame. I asked he was attracted

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Speaker 3: to me. He assured me that he is. I'm in

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Speaker 3: good shape and I look good naked. Well, you know,

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Speaker 3: everybody look good naked when they first take their clothes

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Speaker 3: to what notybody and everybody look good when you first

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Speaker 3: take the clothes off, because it's like a wild moment.

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Speaker 2: But then after you lay that, you started discovering.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, a lot of stuff when you lay down

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Speaker 3: and run, a lot of stuff. When you lay flat,

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Speaker 3: it run, you know everything. It's different when it's stand up,

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Speaker 3: lay down and run. So now I don't want to

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Speaker 3: throw him away just because he can't last past two minutes.

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Speaker 3: I also don't want to seem desperate to let him

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Speaker 3: think it's okay that he's being pleased and I'm not.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 3: He gonna have to do some other things. See, he

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Speaker 3: gonna have to bring hes gonna he had to get

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Speaker 3: some help. He got to come up in there. He

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Speaker 3: got to learn some other things because the little candle

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Speaker 3: he got ain't working.

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Speaker 2: Now, you never said how you was, but his little

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Speaker 2: candle ain't working. Good.

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Speaker 3: Now I can usually go to my password. I don't

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Speaker 3: take this in there to your pastor he gonna end

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Speaker 3: up trying to help you out.

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Speaker 2: Here, man too.

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Speaker 3: Don't take that in that to the past. What's wrong

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Speaker 3: with the wick in his candle? Well, the cord is

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Speaker 3: that the cord in the candle, It is damage. Leave

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Speaker 3: your boy been with you sixty years, You've been in there.

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Speaker 3: Just on today it's been on tour. You had it

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Speaker 3: all over the place, been all over the country with it.

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Speaker 1: Steve, check us out on the Strawberry Letter podcast. It's

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Speaker 1: on the free iHeart Radio app where free never sounded

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Speaker 1: so good. Coming up next it is Junior when Sports Talk, when.

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Speaker 3: She talks to Wax around the Countary, Ain't got nothing

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Speaker 3: to do with the week.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, Ali, you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show,