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Speaker 1: What Up Materia Andre and This is Bombing, the podcast

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Speaker 1: where I talk to comedians, artists, and other interesting people

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Speaker 1: about the worst bombs of their career, total epic failures

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Speaker 1: in front of the public. And tonight I talk to

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Speaker 1: superstar comedian Lisa Trigger about being arrested at a baseball game,

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Speaker 1: her love for Law and Order, SVU and the Backstreet Boys,

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Speaker 1: plus embarrassing moments at movie Premiere's. Check out Lisa's stand

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Speaker 1: up special Night Owl on Netflix. Co hosting is Jay Jorden.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy Bombing with Aery Andre. Ladies, don't aman Lisa Tragger,

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Speaker 1: everybody porn, porn enthusiasts, Russian apologists.

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Speaker 2: No, no, I cannot be a tacked on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I'm not Oh are they coming out to you?

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Speaker 2: You're really mad at me? Are Ukrainians don't want to

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Speaker 2: speak Russian? Which I get, but I moved here before

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Speaker 2: the collapse. My parents speak Russian. What do you want

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Speaker 2: from me?

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Speaker 1: You were born in the US s.

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Speaker 2: R us SR, but it's modern day Ukraine, so it's

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Speaker 2: like it says born in ukrainie my podcast, and they're like,

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Speaker 2: you're not actually Ukrainian. I'm actually a Jew. And you

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Speaker 2: hate me because of that, they'll be like, every time

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Speaker 2: you see you are condoning the war. I go, yeah, tea, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's all.

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Speaker 3: I believe.

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Speaker 1: They're all Bobby.

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Speaker 2: Those are the only ones that get me upset, like

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Speaker 2: people are mean. Those are the only ones that kind

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Speaker 2: of bother me because I feel like I don't have

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Speaker 2: an identity.

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Speaker 1: No, you have a very strong idea. I'm an American,

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Speaker 1: You're red blooded America. You're a patriot.

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Speaker 4: Patriot, we're actually going to this. This is an overcreer.

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Speaker 2: I would die for the the human rights of our nation.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to escape.

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Speaker 1: I want to fight, not me house vote in Spain.

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Speaker 4: You've been looking, oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah, where are

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Speaker 4: you going to go?

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Speaker 2: But I think black people should leave.

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Speaker 4: It's not on you, guys, don't Okay, but don't don't

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Speaker 4: say that by itself, because we heard it. Black people

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Speaker 4: should leave.

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Speaker 1: Oh don't say that sentence by it Yeah, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: nip it out all over the interview.

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Speaker 4: People should people should leave.

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Speaker 2: I think black people should.

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Speaker 1: Leave, and I always have I think black people should leave.

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Speaker 2: I think black people should leave.

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Speaker 4: That's the intro. That's anything on the paper.

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Speaker 1: No, I like I like being like reading off the

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Speaker 1: paper really stilted. So you're at the co host of

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Speaker 1: That's Messed Up, an s VU podcast, Cara Clink, you

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Speaker 1: want to tell us anything about this?

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Speaker 2: I would love to. We recap an episode of One

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Speaker 2: Orders for you. We do a deep dive on the

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Speaker 2: true crime it's based on, and then we interview an

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Speaker 2: actor from the episode.

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Speaker 1: And then soon after you were arrested three times.

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Speaker 2: That was before I get arrested somebody drunk on bit

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Speaker 2: what do you mean in Chicago, two times in Iowa,

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Speaker 2: and one time in a White Sox game.

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Speaker 1: What happened? What happened the first time.

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Speaker 2: Was drinking and driving. I wanted burger king. Humiliating, of course.

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Speaker 4: And they prosecute that crime in Island.

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Speaker 2: They sure did, but it's called like d w I.

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Speaker 2: You know, they like to switch up the letters.

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Speaker 1: Mississippi. Yeah, they're they're drink driving is mandatory.

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Speaker 4: That was every now and then they'll though, well you

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Speaker 4: see me doing fun here. That's what happens in college

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Speaker 4: towns in Mississippi. They go you're drinking, You go a

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Speaker 4: little bit. They go, me too.

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Speaker 2: The second arrest was like me and my friend were

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Speaker 2: like we got to be sober. We were both struggling,

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Speaker 2: and I got arrested for this, and then we chugged

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Speaker 2: Parrot Bay and we were supposed to go to the

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Speaker 2: gymnastics meet, but instead she punched through the fire extinguisher glass.

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Speaker 2: So I thought she wanted it. I thought she was

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Speaker 2: taking her own life because she was depressed. So I

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Speaker 2: started screaming the cops and then I'm blacked out, so

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Speaker 2: I forget. So when the cops come, I fight them. No,

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Speaker 2: what are like nineteen twenties?

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Speaker 4: Wait a second, did you punch the cop?

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Speaker 2: No? I shoved him. I closed the door. And then

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Speaker 2: when they arrested me, I went limps that had dragged

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Speaker 2: me to the car.

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Speaker 1: A little kid doesn't want to go to the dead, actually,

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Speaker 1: But then.

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Speaker 2: She got arrested at the hospital, she went insane. So

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Speaker 2: then I wake up in jail and she's in jail too,

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Speaker 2: And then so I dropped out of Io, was stay,

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Speaker 2: went home to Chicago, went to college there, and then

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Speaker 2: I went to a White Sox game and blacked out.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not sure what, but they do still drink

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Speaker 2: like that? No, then I found stand up comedy.

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Speaker 1: You stop drinking.

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Speaker 2: I party once in a while I like to have

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Speaker 2: a good time, but it's just not an issue for me.

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Speaker 2: I'm more of a stoner.

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Speaker 1: But I have I already played drink.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like me and my friend we would drive to

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Speaker 2: the Redline Howard station and we would have a fifth

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Speaker 2: of flavored smear and off and we'd play Circle of

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Speaker 2: Death and then whatever we didn't finish, we'd pour in

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Speaker 2: a diet coke or she had right wicked. You just

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Speaker 2: keep passing and shugging until you're done.

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Speaker 4: How many people usually play?

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Speaker 2: Usually it's a group.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if it's just two people that that's not a circle.

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Speaker 2: Weaving a line of death and then we'd get on

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Speaker 2: the right line like a flavored enough disgusting discust.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna say it, and it's gonna give me canceled.

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Speaker 4: Eastern Europeans they drink, They drank drink and.

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Speaker 2: She was Cuban. My my big because my friend at

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Speaker 2: the time also kept getting arrested.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I room, I don't know. I it's

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Speaker 1: a Cuban room.

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Speaker 2: No, it's something I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: Skilled in the bathroom at Kroger's.

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Speaker 2: But we'd get on the train in the suburbs, so

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Speaker 2: by the time we got to Comisky, I got kicked,

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Speaker 2: I got arrested. Third inning home open.

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Speaker 1: This is you had a lot of legal.

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Speaker 2: And that was well. The worst is I had to

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Speaker 2: take a greyhound back to iwa Is served two more days.

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Speaker 2: So that's what was upsetting.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the Jewish MIRTHI Steward.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but you had all these legal troubles and that

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Speaker 4: made you want to start the SVU podcast or you

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Speaker 4: just love SVU.

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Speaker 2: No, I love SVU and I love research and I

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Speaker 2: like finding I guess injustices and our criminal justice system.

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Speaker 4: My husband watches the SVU. He watches the SVU every day.

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Speaker 4: I've seen the Billy Porter episode at least four times.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's a twist, that's a that's a rare, a

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Speaker 2: rare twist.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: What are you gonna do about living in the US? A,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna leave? You have EU citizenship?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Do you have any other citizenship?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: Because we left on religious asylum and US star doesn't exist.

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Speaker 2: I'm hoping well.

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Speaker 4: No, I mean it's going to again.

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Speaker 2: Working on it, leaving the country this weekend, and I'm

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Speaker 2: nervous because it says born and praying on my on

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Speaker 2: my passport, so see if they let me in or not.

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Speaker 2: I am going to London, yeah, I hope so. And

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Speaker 2: then I'm going to New Zealand and Australia and Funeral

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Speaker 2: this weekend unfortunately, and then July will be New Zealand

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Speaker 2: and Australia touring a lot I do. I'm on their own.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm audestioning. If someone put me in something,

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Speaker 2: I would take a break. I'm having a good time.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's final, your bestie, you know, I love

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Speaker 2: this ship. You guys did on your TV show that

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Speaker 2: the Bag.

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Speaker 1: As we were a little cave in Harlem. She thought

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Speaker 1: we were just driving to a studio to shoot a sketch,

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Speaker 1: and then we talking about like all right, if the

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Speaker 1: cops come, we got to just say this and that

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Speaker 1: and popcorn means the cops are over on this street,

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Speaker 1: and and the word goose bumps mean the cops are

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Speaker 1: And she goes, why do you guys keep talking about cops?

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Speaker 1: And We're like, oh, this isn't a sketch, this is

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Speaker 1: like a prank for shooting. This is gonna be for real,

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Speaker 1: and she's like her face went white. She started sweating.

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Speaker 1: She's like she was really nervous, but then she rose

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Speaker 1: to the occasion. She killed the out of that ship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah that I mean that particular prank slash sketch lives

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Speaker 4: on the internet and pops up every couple of months.

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Speaker 1: Let's put it up. Can we put it up? Can

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Speaker 1: we put things up on the screen?

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Speaker 5: Tell you mother, you thought I wasn't gonna find out.

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Speaker 5: I wasn't gonna find you know what?

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Speaker 2: This is the bag of my face.

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Speaker 4: For you?

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Speaker 1: Are you good at design? So you have like a

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Speaker 1: hoarder house.

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Speaker 2: I have a corner of boxes. It's overwhelming, and then

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Speaker 2: by by art. I'm an armpire. I support the art.

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Speaker 2: I have great art. I have beautiful art, and I

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Speaker 2: have I collect toys, but they're all in my little fireplace.

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Speaker 1: It's so nice.

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Speaker 2: So it's almost it's the clothes. It's the traveling. It's

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Speaker 2: that I can't wear.

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Speaker 1: It's one of those organizers like a Marie condo.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, my best friend does this at least for me,

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Speaker 2: like four or five times a year. And I have

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Speaker 2: a cleaner that comes twice a month, and it does not.

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Speaker 1: Is what I imagine your house is shoe boxes everywhere, empty

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Speaker 1: Vaca bottles, cigarette butts. That is what I'm imagining. Joints

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Speaker 1: everywhere I have probably like.

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Speaker 4: She has a roach infestation, but roach yea yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, tons of roaches, so a joint.

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Speaker 2: And then I always have my friend. When she cleaned

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Speaker 2: out my apartment, I had to leave for pandet whatever.

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Speaker 1: You feel like you have a laptop with a lot

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Speaker 1: of issues that you keep meaning to get fixed.

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Speaker 2: I canceled my genius bar appointments today.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Eric, Yeah, you guys don't watch movies

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Speaker 1: or TV on a television or production. You just have

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Speaker 1: the lap. It has so many bugs, and.

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Speaker 4: Your computer get super hot. You go actually to hot boiling.

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Speaker 1: It's giving you the spinning wheel of death. And you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I gotta fix it, but you always push off fixing it.

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Speaker 4: Do you have what do you have a caress top?

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Speaker 4: Or do you have some just random images too, like

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Speaker 4: just random.

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Speaker 2: Files full littered?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but we're right. Are we're not right? Or were

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Speaker 1: we right?

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Speaker 2: No? I had an I would I canceled my five

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Speaker 2: thirty genius bar appointments today.

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Speaker 1: And you drink diet coke, you're and I have little

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Speaker 1: my friend when she remember she goes there's water bottles

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Speaker 1: with one sip left everywhere.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I have empty coffee things with one

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Speaker 2: sip left everywhere.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I can't throw out the movie signs. I can't.

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Speaker 1: No, you got a problem. You're like wan to one

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Speaker 1: of those women, like they got the TV shows on TLC.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm addicted to huffing blade fucking air spray. You

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Speaker 1: have a little bit of that, not all the way.

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Speaker 4: If someone come in and move the water bottle, you

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Speaker 4: get mad.

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Speaker 2: I thank them.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I would like that, but that's like some some

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Speaker 4: people would be like, don't touch it. But that's good,

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Speaker 4: that's actually.

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Speaker 2: About but the boxes. Really, people keep sending me stuff

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I gotta do videos with my new

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Speaker 2: things that are being sent, but I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I like, you have like lights and microphones and a

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Speaker 1: light like stand up like like stands and ship set

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Speaker 1: up wired. There's a lot of wires. The wires are

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Speaker 1: all tangled.

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Speaker 2: I never thought i'd have so many wires.

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Speaker 1: It's a dirty rug, no rug.

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Speaker 2: I'm anti rug. I have no rugs.

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Speaker 4: Do my room now, Eric, do my room? I don't

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Speaker 4: know your dumb no dumbbells. We don't Garrison.

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Speaker 1: Never can I see a picture or video of your

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Speaker 1: husband and then I'll be able to do it all right? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: because I can't.

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Speaker 2: Just do you think I'm hopeless? No help for me?

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Speaker 1: No, No, I did say that. I did say that. Okay, Wow,

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Speaker 1: very handsome. Okay, what's his vibe? Give me? Give me

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Speaker 1: some more?

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Speaker 4: Works in works in tech slash fintech slash crypto.

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Speaker 1: Oh there you say, fashion?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Where's he from?

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Speaker 4: From? From Mississippi? Like me doing.

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Speaker 1: Impression of them, doing impression of them?

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Speaker 4: Oh, this is my impression of him? Jay put that down.

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Speaker 1: Oh so he's a little bit fucking sassy.

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Speaker 4: I have a thing now where I really am trying

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Speaker 4: to be better around the house because he curates a space.

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Speaker 4: He loves to design.

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Speaker 1: I have to hang out with him for five minutes,

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Speaker 1: like I know her, but like I have to hang

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Speaker 1: out with them for at least five before I could.

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Speaker 4: He's a little too if that he's country, he's a

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Speaker 4: little country.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's from They watch reality TV.

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Speaker 4: Loves Reality Housewives okay, a little bit of merit to medicine,

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Speaker 4: but loves how he's watching Atlanta right now. Loves SVU.

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Speaker 4: Upset with ken, you thought, can you took it too far?

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Speaker 1: What about naked attraction?

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Speaker 4: Naked attraction? I've watched negad attraction. We you know, we

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Speaker 4: can just watch porn. Yeah, we're also gay guys, so

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Speaker 4: all of our friend we've seen all our friends dick too,

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Speaker 4: So like, do you do I do orgies? There hasn't

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Speaker 4: been an origin of very long. The last true orgy

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Speaker 4: Fire Island twenty nineteen. It was eight people in a room.

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Speaker 4: That's the last.

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Speaker 1: Was it fun?

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Speaker 4: It was fun? Ah, it was the kids.

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Speaker 2: Do you come a lot or do you save it

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Speaker 2: for the end?

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Speaker 4: No, you gotta come at least twice. That's the thing.

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Speaker 4: If you're there. Yeah, biagra, no excitement and weed. It's

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Speaker 4: an orgy, so you're like, you actually kind of can

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Speaker 4: game plan. You can take a break and it's a

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Speaker 4: lot of people doing stuff.

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Speaker 1: You can cut cut back, you can make a martini.

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Speaker 4: Anyone who is jackhammering the whole time in the orgy.

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Speaker 4: Everyone at the orgy who's like kind of there and

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Speaker 4: like around at least like a fun fun to get breakop.

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Speaker 4: They'll be like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: What's going on?

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Speaker 4: Relax?

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Speaker 1: Oh, if you're jack hammering, what about you. You did done

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Speaker 1: an orgy before?

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Speaker 2: No, tell this, Yeah, I just have one four.

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Speaker 1: Some that's I think it's more than it's three Simmons

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Speaker 1: an orgy.

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Speaker 4: I would do more some The name still work, I

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Speaker 4: think at six easily an orgy.

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Speaker 1: Six doesn't work. Seven doesn't work.

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Speaker 4: Four and five for because four to me, we actually

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Speaker 4: just qualify as a couple swap. But if they weren't couples,

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Speaker 4: then yeah, tell us about.

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Speaker 2: His wife was coming the next day, so long ago,

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Speaker 2: it's like that is actually really hot.

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Speaker 4: His wife was coming back the next day.

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Speaker 2: Well, no to with everyone else. They came to fuck

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Speaker 2: I met them. They were carolines, no carolines. But this

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Speaker 2: was a long time ago. This is like probably over

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Speaker 2: a decade ago.

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Speaker 4: We're telling you.

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Speaker 2: I thought about I thought this guy was really hot.

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Speaker 1: He might be a little awkward.

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Speaker 2: So I'm doing crowd work with this hot guy. And

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Speaker 2: so then I was like, well, I'll wait for him

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Speaker 2: and they'll lobby of carolines. So he comes out downstairs, downstairs,

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Speaker 2: and then that the three of them gone, And so

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Speaker 2: then we go to lilies that like Victorian looking bar Wait.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, so it's one guy and two goals.

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Speaker 2: No, two guys and a girl.

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Speaker 1: And one of them is hot, and then you're like

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Speaker 1: a way for him and then ask for a drink.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so we all went out and after a

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Speaker 2: while they were like, listen, we actually have we're here

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Speaker 2: to fuck. We have a hotel room, we have molly,

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Speaker 2: we have coke. You want to come to the Double

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Speaker 2: Tree or whatever? And I go, yeah and so and

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Speaker 2: so so I went and it was it was really fun.

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Speaker 2: But then the I had to go babysit the next morning,

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Speaker 2: like on York. So I went like straight from and

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Speaker 2: I didn't think I was going to be a wild night.

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Speaker 2: I didn't bring a phone charger, I didn't bring MAKEU

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Speaker 2: and didn't bring like It wasn't like I planned to

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Speaker 2: do this. It was like an early.

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Speaker 3: Time.

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Speaker 2: They had collars, they had like leashes, they were ready,

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Speaker 2: they were ready.

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Speaker 1: They just watch and then the wife was coming the next.

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Speaker 2: Day to join them. So it wasn't like he was.

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Speaker 2: They were like freaks hot.

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Speaker 1: So every bodies just fucking.

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Speaker 2: But it's I'm with Jay. There were breaks, we would

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00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,200
Speaker 2: chit shot, we would hang out to people. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: got a couple you know how their dison workers of

347
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Speaker 2: the drugs.

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00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 4: Also the with with gay people. And this is the

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00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 4: p s A viagra plus poppers, your heart will stop.

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00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:20,400
Speaker 4: You can only.

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00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,440
Speaker 1: Poppers, okay, popper? Ye see how this is a safer.

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00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 1: It's less harsh than than the bagger. However, if you're

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Speaker 1: on Molly and you're shooting pool with a rope and

354
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Speaker 1: you want to fucking make your gummy worm back to

355
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,040
Speaker 1: it's old fighting self, you popped that viagra on that Molly.

356
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Speaker 1: It works fucking.

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Speaker 4: People there. I've known some people who like when they've

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Speaker 4: been either like, oh, Molly are like kind of high

359
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,280
Speaker 4: and VIAGRAA they'll be like, I didn't even know my

360
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 4: dick was capable of that. Yeah, it's I've never seen

361
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 4: my penis like that.

362
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Speaker 1: Ever, winning combo winning comb And I'm more of a

363
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,920
Speaker 1: nitous that guy over poppers.

364
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 4: I got it.

365
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,840
Speaker 2: I've only done that once and it was with.

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Speaker 1: You, thousands and thousands.

367
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,560
Speaker 2: It was a great night. There was a brain scientist

368
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 2: there that night, and she kept going in the orgy,

369
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:18,879
Speaker 2: know what this whipp is is? Oh, but she said

370
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:23,919
Speaker 2: that those cells that are killed can regrow. But she

371
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 2: could have been lying, but she goes, it's not permanent.

372
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Speaker 2: Brain damage. All of it can regrow.

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00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was.

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00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 4: Over twenty five, so my brain's done. Yeah, stop growing.

375
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Speaker 2: And I'm on my phone eight hours a day, so

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Speaker 2: it's not like I'm.

377
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Speaker 1: Doing good things for your brain.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

379
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,000
Speaker 1: One beer kills millions of brain cells. Nitros Oxide not

380
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 1: that bad. Nitrous oxide is naturally occurring in the atmosphere too,

381
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 1: as long as you don't exphyxiate over and over or

382
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Speaker 1: huff it.

383
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Speaker 4: I say, new new drug awareness campaign, just say no,

384
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,439
Speaker 4: you know nitious oxide and.

385
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 2: So smart it's insane.

386
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Speaker 1: He's so smart, smartest, like a doctorate. And now I

387
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 1: have a have a master and a.

388
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 4: B F A N A b A and three degrees.

389
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,040
Speaker 4: I'm about getting you one more, but I chose not to.

390
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 2: Very doctor.

391
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 4: He's the g y Cornell. Let me do my, Let

392
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Speaker 4: me do my Cornell. Uh oh, brother Eric Brother, Eric Brother.

393
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 3: With Aridre with Aridre.

394
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 1: All right, what's the worst show you've ever done in

395
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 1: your life? Where's bomb ever?

396
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,879
Speaker 2: And I bombed last night? Just to show now, I

397
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 2: made a list. I can't believe it's one.

398
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:47,119
Speaker 1: Listen check it twice.

399
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 4: Is funny because of the location you told.

400
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 2: Me I did a show at Costairian.

401
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 1: What is that.

402
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 2: It's like a Soho house for olive arcs.

403
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 1: No, I know it is. Yeah, yeah, it's like Leonardo Dicabrio,

404
00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

405
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 2: So they have their little private room and I just

406
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 2: kind of like, I hate them because they think they're cool,

407
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,879
Speaker 2: but I'm like, you're void of humanity, so you're not

408
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 2: gonna be able to laugh. And I open with a

409
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 2: great joke. They didn't laugh at all, so I go,

410
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do another joke. I have respect

411
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 2: for myself. I'm not doing this. And so then I

412
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 2: fucked around, but my charm never wore. It just never

413
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 2: really went anywhere. And then the worst they did the

414
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 2: just you got it, and I'm like, I'm gonna jump

415
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:27,359
Speaker 2: out the window.

416
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,879
Speaker 4: But it's okay.

417
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 2: I go, I came here for the shrimp cocktail.

418
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Speaker 1: I like nice in there, just like rich people have no.

419
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 2: But it's like below deck, so like the wood is shiny,

420
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 2: you know, the handsop, the soap is nice. It's like

421
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 2: nice below deck, but you know about it, Yeah, the

422
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,480
Speaker 2: person is like people just look very wealthy in a

423
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 2: way that makes me not like them. So then I

424
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 2: don't want to I don't want them to have a

425
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 2: good time to be like, go fund yourself.

426
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 4: Not a bomb. But I this past Thursday, I did

427
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 4: walk a father and son. I was in my I

428
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 4: was in my dick sucking material. I was in the

429
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 4: dick sucking chunk. There was a father and son at

430
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 4: the folder. The table had to be tweeny. Maybe he's

431
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 4: laughing a little bit dad Stone face. They get up

432
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 4: and then I go. As they leave, I go. They

433
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 4: probably went out there like it's a game they could

434
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 4: talk about and be like, we know we booked. And

435
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,679
Speaker 4: then the one of the waits that I tried to

436
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 4: come and clean off the table and I said, no,

437
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 4: leave it as a memory. I need to know this

438
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,880
Speaker 4: that the stare like having the boot for the rest

439
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 4: of the night.

440
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 1: In West Niac, where was it the comedy capital of

441
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 1: the world.

442
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 4: That's where you go when you make it big.

443
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 2: Well, you know, the chef was really good there, and then.

444
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 4: I get to do with if you play cards right, The.

445
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 2: Chef got fired for being a pedophile nowhere and West

446
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 2: and I remember the food used to be really good.

447
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: He ended up being a pedophile. Got to get rid

448
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 2: of him. I didn't this isn't the worst bomb because

449
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,959
Speaker 2: you mentioned father's son. I was in a city in Texas.

450
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,919
Speaker 2: I don't know, Houston. Let's say I don't know. But

451
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 2: this guy in the front row gets us ficial, he leaves.

452
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 2: When he comes back, I go, where'd you go? And

453
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 2: he goes. I've been sober for twenty seven years until today.

454
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 2: I'm an alcoholic. What is that?

455
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 4: You gotta put that on the website? So good? I

456
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 4: ruined the man's life.

457
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 1: It's right now.

458
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 2: I'll do that.

459
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: I tell us all the bombs. Tell us your worst

460
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 1: writing gig, your worst television gig, your worst.

461
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not gonna because we do. I do

462
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 4: want you to tell this story. Maybe don't say the movie,

463
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 4: but you weren't allowed to one of your own movie

464
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 4: for me.

465
00:21:55,920 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 1: Beat up a cop at a white Sox. That's I'm in.

466
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 2: Nope, I get kicked by the horse. I don't know

467
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 2: if you know this part, but in the beginning, they're

468
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 2: on the dan peel. I'm the woman that gets kicked

469
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 2: by the horse on the side.

470
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 1: Okay. I started watching it on an airplane and then

471
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 1: the plane landed and I never finished it.

472
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm in the beginning, you know never, and

473
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 2: then the next scene, you know, Daniel Khluia is on

474
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: the set with the horse and I get kicked. So

475
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 2: it's a small part, but I'm excited. I get invited

476
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 2: to the premiere. But they go one ticket, no plus one.

477
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 2: I go, that's fine, it's fine, and they go and

478
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,359
Speaker 2: you're not going to the party. I go, okay, I

479
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 2: won't go to the party. So I get to the premiere,

480
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 2: my name is nowhere to be found. I had to

481
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: be like, I promise, I'm in this. Like I have

482
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 2: an email from my agent. He's like, I want to

483
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 2: go to this Chinese theater. I've been looking at this

484
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,439
Speaker 2: theater since I was a kid, like this premiere. So

485
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 2: they reiterate again, They're like, here's the ticket. You can't

486
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 2: go to the party. So then at the time I

487
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 2: see Bobby Lee, I see Calila. Calila is like, I

488
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: don't need to go to the party. Here's the ticket.

489
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 2: So Bobby Lee takes me to the party, ditches me immediately,

490
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 2: and then I was just alone circling this party without

491
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 2: a friend in sight, you know what I mean.

492
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: But I wasn't gonna and Daniel I want to.

493
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 2: Talk to me I knew Little Ral, so I went

494
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 2: up and then I actually got bullied by someone. So

495
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,199
Speaker 2: someone I know friends of Littlerel comes up. Do you

496
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 2: know this?

497
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 4: To me? I don't want to name it.

498
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 1: She comes over and can you Yeah, but you're a

499
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: part of the story.

500
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 2: Woman comes up to me please, and I go, hey,

501
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 2: I'm Lisa. You know I'm a comic from Chicago. Starting

502
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 2: she goes, oh, yeah, I've seen you before. I go yeah,

503
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: I think we met at Eric's house one night and

504
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 2: she goes, no, I've seen you perform four times and

505
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 2: you have a lot of growing to do. And I

506
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: just went it's an honor. And then I went walking alone.

507
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 2: I couldn't find a friend.

508
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 4: Part of the night was.

509
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 2: And I kept going afters I met on set, being like,

510
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 2: what's up? Been there? Like we're with her wives like

511
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 2: we don't want to talk, And I say this, Eric,

512
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 2: you got to think about this.

513
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 4: What you got even a movie? I'm gonna movie. What happened?

514
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 4: I got kicked by a horse? Good by, come to

515
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 4: the come to the movie from here? Actually, no, okay,

516
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 4: come to the party. Actually no, by the way, me

517
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 4: at the party. By the way, you got a lot

518
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 4: of work four different.

519
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: Why is that necessary to say to somebody.

520
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 4: You know this, I'm always saying this, be nicer to

521
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: comedians online. I'm always saying, be.

522
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: Nicer to comedians.

523
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 4: What Jay's been popping off on the I behaved myself.

524
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 4: I'm such am gonna.

525
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 2: Jay's been the talk of the town.

526
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 1: What's going on online?

527
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 4: I'm not beefing with anyone particular. I do beef with

528
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 4: the idea that people are like, can you believe we're crazy?

529
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 4: I'm like, comics have always been crazy, comics. Whatever someone says,

530
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 4: we can finally like talk ship, we can finally like

531
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 4: say crazy stuff. In my head, I do go, haven't

532
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 4: we always.

533
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 1: Been saying crazy?

534
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 4: There was no line? I don't know.

535
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, what are you talking about? Who are

536
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: you talking about? Who is this like boogeyman in the sky.

537
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: That's like, now you can't.

538
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 4: Who was stopping people from telling cum jokes, from telling

539
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 4: race jokes.

540
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: From telling ooze from some crowds but not really.

541
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 4: But but those Pejordians have even lost their spice because

542
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 4: everyone doubled down too much. So now I'll say, if

543
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 4: you say faggot and you're not gay on the show,

544
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 4: guess what you're probably the fourth straight gotta say faggot

545
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 4: that night, and now the crowd's like, you're gonna to

546
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 4: do something else? Man, you might actually have Gail King

547
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 4: on the on the yeah, Gail King said, Gail Okay.

548
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 4: So Gail King was enterawing Matteo in part for the

549
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 4: book and the special coming out. Gail King said to

550
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 4: Matteo Lane, you have this joke I love and this

551
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 4: is CBS Morning. By the way, she said, can I

552
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 4: say it? She said, when you said, what in the

553
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 4: fagot tree is going on? Gail King said it on.

554
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 2: C hosts are like what And then Mateo just cracks up.

555
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 2: You can't even believe.

556
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 4: That you can't say what in the factory? And then

557
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 4: she went to space to try to escape it.

558
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: Her getting on that space ship I watched ten thousand times.

559
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: She seemed so stressed by the way. That's me just

560
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: getting on jet belief, like I hate turbulent so much.

561
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: But I could see her going, why did these white

562
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 1: people talk me into this super hip? I don't need

563
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: to see space? What is this? And do they go

564
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: to space? They go to like the top of the sky.

565
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: They don't go into like I want you going to

566
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: Space Land on fucking Mars. Then you went to Space

567
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: that starts.

568
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 2: They didn't even pass the atmosphere, Like I want to

569
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 2: look at the Earth from.

570
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, I don't want I want to be on

571
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: another planet. I want to be on the Moon looking

572
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: at her.

573
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 4: Then you went to Space Fires more training because Lance

574
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 4: Bass wanted to do it and being like an actual

575
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 4: astronomy very long time.

576
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: Well, Lance Bask got nothing but time he did.

577
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 2: Lance got nothing but Marines podcast. And I'm a big

578
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 2: box but I like boy bands, like pop culture, and

579
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 2: so I was in Trolls three with I've watched them all.

580
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: Are you familiar with Justin Timberlake.

581
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, so art and surprises. So

582
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: I go to do her podcast, Lance Bass pops out

583
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 2: of a bush surprise, and I act like whatever, and

584
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 2: then and then he goes, are you upset? I'm not

585
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 2: Nick Carter, And I go, Lance Baster.

586
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 4: Oh that's funny, that's actually very funny.

587
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 2: But I went to Christina Aguilar Justin Timberlake. But I

588
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 2: sat down for Justin because as a teen, because I

589
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 2: was so team Backstreet boys, like I didn't want to

590
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 2: enjoy myself.

591
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: So you big weird loyalties.

592
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 4: Who is your Who is your boy? Were Kevin Nick

593
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 4: Carter and then a j oh wait a second nick

594
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 4: a j I was, I was in sync, but I

595
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 4: did appreciate Kevin as the backy boy. I was like tall,

596
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 4: quiet a man those people.

597
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: It was also what I'm imagining in your house, your

598
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: medicine cabinet full of every single prescription.

599
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 2: I would, yeah, it's they're in the kitchen.

600
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,679
Speaker 4: You're giving her a lot of credit with the medicine cabinet.

601
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 2: The medicine cabinet is random, like a tweet like it's

602
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 2: it's more.

603
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: I want to look in your fridge to god, it's

604
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 1: very New York.

605
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 2: It's very New York. There's like a little chili oil.

606
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 2: There's me drinks sent by Wild. Thank you.

607
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: There's no one here.

608
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 4: Film I got Actually, I actually have to go. If

609
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 4: this is Eric, I have to leave.

610
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 2: The Wild is amazing. So I'm performing in Portland Valentine's

611
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 2: a weekend. There's a beautiful couple in the front. I'm

612
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 2: having a good time. He is the creator and CEO

613
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 2: of Wild. And it's like edibles, they're really delicious, or

614
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 2: the white little contained. Oh you don't like weed and so.

615
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 4: People will be surprised by But so I'm.

616
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: Like, did you bring me some? Like I can't believe

617
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: you're obviously a millionaire. So whatever, we have a good time.

618
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 2: After the show, he goes, you know, we've seen you

619
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 2: before at the cellar, and you looked at me and

620
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 2: said that I didn't deserve love. The fuck was I thinking?

621
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 2: Like why would I say?

622
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: Ah?

623
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: And so he brought her to stunt on me and

624
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 2: he goes and this is my fiance and we're getting

625
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 2: married in Italy and I go, you found up? Yeah,

626
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 2: And then he's been sending me uh like weed stuff. God,

627
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 2: that's so fucking BEAUTI sat in the front road to

628
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 2: be like yeah.

629
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 4: And fucking that's universal karma, but ends up being funny.

630
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 2: That's good, yeah, way of cell bag Like he was

631
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 2: treating her nice to.

632
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 4: You live a life, people, you live a life. You

633
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 4: live a life.

634
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 2: But I also get to preston, don't leave my port man.

635
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 2: You probably caught that too. Get into on see I'm

636
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 2: watching the same porn from twenty twelve. Some of these

637
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 2: videos are dated twenty ten. I went to dot com

638
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 2: all the time, and I have what is it kink dot.

639
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: Com that's why is kin dot com. You're you're It's

640
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: what I enjoy BDSM.

641
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like the public disgrace.

642
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: Public humiliation, humiliation like.

643
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 2: A girl getting sucked at a poolhole in.

644
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: Front of people, and there's humiliation, you know, dancing.

645
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 4: Very fire island.

646
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to be into.

647
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 4: That's very gay, man.

648
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to do like oil massage

649
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: or something like that.

650
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: Oil massage.

651
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 4: It's creepy.

652
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, it's too Girls always watched the oil massages

653
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: because sensual anytime I want anytime.

654
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 2: Il Women watch gang bangs than men. Women really, because

655
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 2: for men it's too many dicks.

656
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 4: Women watch also, women watch like fucking if the people

657
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 4: who think women watch the sensual stuff are incorrect. Women

658
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 4: watch well like I don't know, I'm.

659
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: Talking about your.

660
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 2: Husband died, and like you haven't you've.

661
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 4: Never a picture.

662
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 2: You're a catholic, you've never really gotten out there. That's

663
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: an oil massage. Yeah, that's where you start.

664
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 4: Slow caress will do it for them. Yeah yeah, yeah,

665
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 4: but Lisa said, get the digs in here.

666
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 2: It hurts when the girls like I don't even know

667
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 2: who's fucking me right now?

668
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 4: Wait, have you been keeping up with the Bonnie Blue

669
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 4: one hundred men one thousand men situation. Okay, there's a

670
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 4: there's the only fans creator who was like trying to

671
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 4: kind of do her own.

672
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was one thousand men in ten hours.

673
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,719
Speaker 4: I think it was twenty four. I was given her

674
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 4: twenty four hours to get a thousand.

675
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 2: That I don't. Yeah, the book Hockey's and all that

676
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 2: where it's all of them.

677
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you're into that stuff.

678
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 2: Of course I'll watch it once in a while, but

679
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 2: I like, I'm I'm I'm loyal to kink.

680
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 4: You go, I thought you were stuff And Lisa goes,

681
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 4: of course I watch it every now. It's just it's

682
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 4: not gonna turn it off if it's on.

683
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 1: I feel.

684
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 2: Well. There's someone on a reality show, Summerhouse, and they

685
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 2: just revealed that their favorite porn was tan line porn,

686
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 2: and that really kind of upset the rest of the roommates.

687
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 4: Can I say, I get, I get? Okay, if you millennial,

688
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 4: there was a certain time when a lot of porn

689
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 4: they had tan lines, and you were like, oh, that's

690
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 4: how we know this is like actually real, because you well, no,

691
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 4: because you'd be like, no, the porn performers. They tan naked,

692
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 4: but like these regular people, they'd have tan lines. You'd

693
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 4: be like, oh, this is like actually it was the amateur. Yeah.

694
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: When you see a little razor burn.

695
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, god, oh when you see the dog in the room.

696
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 2: Get One of my favorite porn stars did die tragically,

697
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 2: and so it is kind of like unethical. But I

698
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 2: watched her old stuff sometimes.

699
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: Why is that another it's weird.

700
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 2: It's sad because it's like, I.

701
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: Don't know, you didn't watch your death footage? Yeah, that'd

702
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: be Yeah, that's a different website. You can borrow water.

703
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 2: I don't like that. They like do with some suffocation

704
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 2: water stuff and.

705
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: No it's too much. Yeah, I saw a couple of.

706
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: Website I only with a couple of the channels. Oh, well,

707
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 2: there's a porn podcast. I like, you gotta go on it.

708
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 2: Ryan he's got Yeah, I really. I'm his favorite comedian

709
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 2: and I love I like him so much. But he

710
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 2: had a porn star on it. Her kink was waterboarding

711
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 2: and he got waterboarded on the pot and he was like,

712
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 2: you're a sick.

713
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 4: And he's America safer because of it.

714
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 1: It's a good question too, I guess. And there hasn't

715
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: been another nine to eleven since that happened.

716
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: That podcasting doesn't sound that bad.

717
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: No, it sounds bad, but it was bad. You're drowning yourself.

718
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: You're you're putting water and the only places you can

719
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: breathe it's drowning. It's horrible.

720
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 2: You're sick. But he did it for the cause. But

721
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 2: like his friend had stage four cancer and he had

722
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 2: his that guy's two favorite porn stars come on and

723
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 2: fuck him.

724
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 1: Whoa, this is like fucking.

725
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 3: With a recadre, with a recadre.

726
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 1: Any other bombs?

727
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we should do the bombs. So actually, so

728
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: Netflix Fest last year, I'm having the time of my life,

729
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: Like I like a festival, I kind of and a

730
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 2: festival friends, and I get asked last minute to do

731
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 2: the Fluffy show.

732
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: That's the that's the already no Fluffy, oh Fluffy, Yeah.

733
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: No, it's Palladium. It's at the Palladium. They were doing

734
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: like sprit, like Michelle Buteau did one like yeah, and

735
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 2: then like four or five comics went on, keep me work,

736
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 2: and I walk out and they stop clapping, and I

737
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 2: still have probably fifteen more steps to the microphone. Nobody

738
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 2: is clapping why And then I grabbed the micut of

739
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 2: the music still playing, and I was like, well, you

740
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 2: can cut the music. They're clearly done clapping, and I

741
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: thought that would get something. Nothing. Then it's silent, and

742
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 2: his audience is like family is a lot of Mexican people.

743
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 2: So I was like, I'll do my immigrant material, do

744
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 2: family stuff. I'll do that's you know, PG whatever. They

745
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 2: don't like any of it. They grow up, they are not.

746
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 2: So then I'm trying to switch things I'm trying to do.

747
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 2: I'm trying all the bags of tricks I can, and

748
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 2: I'm just bombing all the Netflix exacts. Everyone's there, right,

749
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: It's like I'm just bombing, and and I'm following a

750
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: comic I don't respect. So it's even it's.

751
00:35:52,440 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: Hurt killed, yeah, it's murdering.

752
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 3: Yeah.

753
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 4: And he found out what everyone does for living. We

754
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,240
Speaker 4: found out who everyone was dating.

755
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 2: So I'm bombing and then sit down and someone else

756
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 2: yells leave, no, no, And so I'm standing there being like,

757
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: you think I want to be here, you think I

758
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: don't want to get I'm like I'm looking at the clock, TikTok,

759
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 2: like I don't want to be here either. I'm like

760
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 2: how dare you? And so then it's like them all

761
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: screen and then other people going you got this and

762
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: like so then it's a battle between the crowds that

763
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 2: are like you can do it and people going please leaves,

764
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 2: like screaming, and no one is left anything.

765
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like red.

766
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 2: At this point, I was so hot and so I

767
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 2: read right now and Jimmy Carr is right there and

768
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: Josh who booked me, and Josh just goes, I'm sorry.

769
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: And then Jimmy car was trying to make me feel better,

770
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 2: and I go, stop talking to me. I'm going upstairs.

771
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 2: So I go to the green room. I get tequila,

772
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 2: and I'm just sitting there alone, drinking, like trying to

773
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 2: allow people to get attention. So then all my friends

774
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 2: at Netflix are messaging me and Sophia Saladar, you know

775
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 2: for Live Nation, like all these are texting me, and

776
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 2: I go, I'm in the Friends and Family room. That's

777
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: the name of the green room. They thought I had

778
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 2: friends and family with me. I'm alone. So then when

779
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: they enter the room, they go where is everyone? I go,

780
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 2: I'm alone here drinking. So then but I bombed so bad,

781
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,320
Speaker 2: and me and Sofia were talking about going to a

782
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 2: sushi park that like celebrity sushi spot that the head

783
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 2: of Live Nation Comedy touring goes, Sophia use the company

784
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 2: card take her. I ended up bombing so bad that

785
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 2: I got a five hundred dollars comedy meal and we

786
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 2: have like a great time.

787
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: Nice god.

788
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 2: But I was like, audience they want I'm sure some

789
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 2: of the other people might have done. I didn't look

790
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 2: at anything like Fluffy's nice though, and well Fluffy Fluffy didn't.

791
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 1: No one looked at me after the show. No he did.

792
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 2: He said, Hi, Yeah, I barely interacted. Its Fluffy. I

793
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't. I was happy to be there

794
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 2: at the Palladia.

795
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 4: People saying leave and people saying no, stay and them fighting.

796
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 4: That's funny. I would have been dying if I'm laughing loudly.

797
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,800
Speaker 4: If someone goes get out of here, they go fuck you.

798
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 4: Let her, She'll get funny Like that's like you.

799
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 2: Guys stopped clapping. Well, one time I was This was

800
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 2: years ago. I was at Turner Hall and I was

801
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 2: opening for Rob's a Lady Jesus. And as I'm walking out,

802
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:33,879
Speaker 2: the whole venue is chanting Rob Rob and then they

803
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 2: see me and they all start booing. No, oh you guys,

804
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,439
Speaker 2: let me full boo being booed by like what seven

805
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 2: hundred people?

806
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,399
Speaker 1: Okay, what's what else? What's what? Give me some other words?

807
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: I love? Yeah.

808
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 2: Basically it was me and Kennedy to Forest dressed and

809
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 2: when we like weren't getting paid and we went to

810
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 2: he got paid. I didn't. I don't know. We went

811
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: to the stur because he brought me to be like,

812
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 2: I'm doing this nursing home and I was like, please

813
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 2: bring me, I gotta do it. No, I'm a young comic, right,

814
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 2: And so I'm bombing. He's bombing. We're bombing. Not a chirp,

815
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: but not a laugh, nothing. And then a woman comes

816
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 2: up to.

817
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: You little nursing home like elderly is here, literal nursing

818
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 1: people are flatlining all around you.

819
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 2: Woman comes up to me and goes, do you need jokes?

820
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 2: I can give you some jokes.

821
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: I want to take her up on I did.

822
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 2: I said, tell me some jokes.

823
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: To take it her up.

824
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 4: Jewish Ukrainian walked into a nursing home. Oh yeahms their

825
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 4: ass off or whatever. All of our jokes are hella

826
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 4: ras continue hard r.

827
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: N word jokes.

828
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 2: She starts giving you continue because I've been thinking about it.

829
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, I was young. You just kept on you

830
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 2: have you My mic got caught at jokes and notes once.

831
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 2: It's like it was the Black club in the South

832
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 2: Side of Chicago and mid mid joke cut the mic.

833
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: I'd be like, thank you, get me out of here?

834
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: Can you get me an uber too.

835
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 4: Is my favorite thing whenever you go, especially as a

836
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 4: black comet, when you do mainstream a lot and then

837
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 4: you get the request to do a black show and

838
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 4: you go, I gotta do a black show and you

839
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 4: get in there and they're being they're being ruthless to

840
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 4: like the first two comedians. You go, I could have

841
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 4: said no. I could have said no, but you know what,

842
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 4: let me power through. They were fine with me. They

843
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 4: were they got the meanness out of their system, first

844
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 4: three comedians. But you go there mean what what?

845
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 2: No, they just let it be.

846
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 4: It's just Lisa, follow up what you said black people

847
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:36,879
Speaker 4: should leave the country.

848
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: I think black people should live.

849
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 4: And now say you're not doing well.

850
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, well, they paid their money for the

851
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: babysitter in their suits and they're they're they're like, there

852
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: weren't results.

853
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 2: But I would say that one of the best sets

854
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 2: of my whole life was only like all black audience

855
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,399
Speaker 2: at the Lave Factory in Chicagos.

856
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: You can shake the room.

857
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 2: She goes, hold on, we gotta keep laughing. I go,

858
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 2: I mean, it was like one of the best moments

859
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 2: in life. Like I still think about it.

860
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,959
Speaker 1: So he told me, Jamie Foxx is this thing where

861
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: he does He'll do a mainstream room. Then he'll do

862
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 1: a black room and try to do his whitest jokes

863
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:19,479
Speaker 1: and see what of his like whitest jokes or whatever

864
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 1: he gets his mainstream if that's where you at the

865
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: black room, then he'll keep it in his set, and

866
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: then he'll go to the mainstream room with his blackest jokes,

867
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: and whatever ones don't work he cuts, and whatever ones

868
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: do he keeps. And then he like merges those sets

869
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 1: in the backroom.

870
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 4: He's doing all the Katie Holmes stuff.

871
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, so, I guess so. I kind of

872
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 1: like that because our Afghan comic friend, Oh thank you sorry. Yes,

873
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 1: he told me he tries to never just wallow at

874
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: alt rooms. He goes, I want to do my alt

875
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 1: stuff at the comedy seller or a studio or store

876
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: so that I can see kind of like the Jamie

877
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: Fox thing, Like if the alt joke can work at

878
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: the mainstream comedy club, then there's sparito.

879
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 4: That's how you move the needle comedically. I know you

880
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 4: do this, and I do this too, all this stuff

881
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,320
Speaker 4: I do at Unia Hall in the Bellhouse in Littlefield.

882
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 4: I do have the seller. I have to because if

883
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 4: you don't, then you're not taking your queerness. So you're

884
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 4: a weird shit to the people.

885
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Also you're gonna get too comfortable.

886
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: Because I'll have weekends where it's people that like me

887
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 2: and are aligned like on stuff, they like us, sweet whatever,

888
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,839
Speaker 2: and so it's easier to kill. And then when I'm

889
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 2: back to the cellar on like that week is when

890
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,320
Speaker 2: you realize what's actually like what needs to be beefed

891
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,280
Speaker 2: up for, Like people that don't know you.

892
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: What are you guys going to invite me to a show?

893
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 1: I got to get out of my house.

894
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 2: Well, I'm also doing Show and Tell on May Day.

895
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: Invite bring me on any show. May twentieth, I go

896
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 1: to an Indian wedding. May twenty, the twenty eighth. I'm

897
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: not here, but every other day I can do wowwe

898
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 1: or where he is in southern eastern India? Are they

899
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,720
Speaker 1: Christian or they are not Christian?

900
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 2: Okay?

901
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 1: Have you ever met an Indian person before Christian Christians?

902
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 2: J H Josh Chicago, Jocelyn Vargis, what's up, Junior?

903
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 3: And not?

904
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: Wait? Let me do one more bombings?

905
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: Bombing?

906
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so I have to, Okay, I get out.

907
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 1: It's all podcast is filler.

908
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 2: In Jamestown, New York. And I used to do a

909
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 2: joke and it's in my Degenerate set on Netflix. But

910
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 2: it's like a Q and A and so the answers

911
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 2: and I know how people are going to answer, and

912
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 2: then it helps me. And then at the whole point

913
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: is like men aren't making women come and you guys

914
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: don't care, and it's like a fun joke. But a

915
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 2: guy went to both the shows and knew the answer,

916
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,800
Speaker 2: so he ruined the and then stared at me and

917
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:02,280
Speaker 2: then went you suck boo. And I ended up actually

918
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 2: crying after that set. I was in the back and

919
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 2: I was like, God, why do they hate me so much?

920
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:07,439
Speaker 3: Yeah?

921
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 4: What are they fuck up?

922
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 2: And I cried because I couldn't get back from it.

923
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: I was really defeated, and once he ruined that, it

924
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I guess I do so like fuck

925
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 2: you ye oh. But then I've performed it again in

926
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 2: the in Jamestown, New York, and there was a moment

927
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 2: where these women were talking. They were being really annoying,

928
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 2: and I go, girls, just please stop talking. I'm good

929
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 2: hearing like it's not You're not being bad like, but

930
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 2: it's distracting. And this woman got offended, she got pissed.

931
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 2: She's yelling, and on her way out she yelled, it's

932
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: a small town. She yells, I make more money than you.

933
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,240
Speaker 2: And then from the back I hear I'm her ex husband.

934
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: No she doesn't nice, it's like really fun.

935
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: That was really that's nice. You had to like take

936
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: a thirty second break on that one.

937
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 4: Thank you, Sarah. The crowd's gonna go crazy. There's you

938
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 4: get to be like, you know you should then ex husband,

939
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 4: you want your dick suck come up here.

940
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,879
Speaker 2: But this is okay, So this is like my old

941
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 2: school fucking. This isn't my old school favorite story. It

942
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 2: was a club in glen View, Illinois, might have been

943
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 2: a drug front called the Laughing Cameleon.

944
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: Okay, how far from Chicago's San Bergh.

945
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 2: It's North Shory, but like maybe forty minute. Yeah, it's

946
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 2: not close to the city, but it's like I would say,

947
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 2: maybe or or whatever. The first show is packed. It's

948
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 2: a showcase show. I'm doing a bunch of im. I'm

949
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 2: having such a good set on my young comic. The

950
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 2: dean from my high school who used to give me

951
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,720
Speaker 2: all these detentions is in the audience, so I'm killing

952
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 2: Like I get to be like, wow, yeah, so I'm

953
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 2: on the cloud night. The second show of the night,

954
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 2: only three couples are there. Jesus, these people are on

955
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 2: coke for sure. They're Polish, they're on cocaine. And then

956
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: two other couples they're behaving, they're being normal. This couple

957
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 2: just doesn't give a fuck. They don't want to be there.

958
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 2: They're talking, we get into it. It gets very like

959
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 2: more of your family should have died in there. They immediately, well,

960
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 2: they finish it. The war, is what I said to them.

961
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: But beforehand, she was like just before even was hooking

962
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 2: up with women. But they were like you you're a lesbian,

963
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 2: you cheap jew. Like they were saying, fucked up ship

964
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 2: to me. So it's like cheap jew lesbian. I remember

965
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 2: this was so long ago, and the other couples are there.

966
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 2: There's only six people, so then we start fighting. The

967
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,320
Speaker 2: wars now brought up, you know, it's like shit's getting

968
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 2: fucked up. And then he stands up, takes one hundred

969
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 2: dollar bills out of his wallet. He goes, I will

970
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 2: pay anyone to get this bitch off the stage. And

971
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 2: then Aaron Foster, this comic, grabs the cash and gets

972
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,360
Speaker 2: on stage throws me a hundred and I had to

973
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: be walked to my car.

974
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: And then wow, this guy in like Minneapolis was like,

975
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 1: I have a gun and I'm going to kill you

976
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 1: after this set, like while she was bombing, and they

977
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: had to walk her from the stage to the parking lot,

978
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: and he was out there like rifling through his car

979
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: and looking for a murder weapon because he hated or

980
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 1: joked so much he was getting the comedy. I mean,

981
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: it's truly share it's crazy.

982
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 2: It seems full on protection. It's like, well, I'm also

983
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 2: a fool once because in Minnesota I was gonna go

984
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,760
Speaker 2: smoke weed with people I didn't know in the garage

985
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 2: and the manager of the club and to be like,

986
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 2: we can't let you leave with those people. They were

987
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 2: touching your lower back. I was like, all right, guts

988
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 2: of the mall.

989
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 1: I had my fortieth birthday party at the Knockdown Center

990
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: and queens and a bunch of fans broke into my

991
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: green room, took ships in my bathroom, and then a

992
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,359
Speaker 1: bunch of rappers I invited on the show stole all

993
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: my son chips and all my whippets did steal. There

994
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: was just like son chips, like those are my snacks,

995
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: my great room, I'm stone man, come on, and there's

996
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: like kids like Eric Andre show merch like where they.

997
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 4: Get out it way wait, that's so sweet that they

998
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 4: just pooped in the toilet.

999
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: At least they That's good. It could have been you know,

1000
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,760
Speaker 1: it could have been all over. They're being respectful. They're respectful.

1001
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 2: They could have Yeah, what a star she isn't.

1002
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 1: There's one where we dressed in a horse costume and

1003
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: I'm in the back eating her out on her period.

1004
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 2: That one on the train, Yeah yeah, yeah, no. I

1005
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 2: watched every Well, my favorite part I got, you know,

1006
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:39,240
Speaker 2: I got to I got to be in Eric's rider's

1007
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 2: room for two days.

1008
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 4: God damn.

1009
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 2: And I remember someone asking you being like, wait, how

1010
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 2: did you do that thing where you like, you drink

1011
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 2: piss out of the cup And he goes, I pissed

1012
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 2: in the cup and I.

1013
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: Drank Yeah, yeah, yeah, I paid in the cup and

1014
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: I drank my piss. That's how I did.

1015
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 2: They were like, what's the secret the secarette?

1016
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: Well, where's the movie in the cup?

1017
00:48:58,960 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 3: Wow?

1018
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:00,240
Speaker 4: If you're gonna.

1019
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 2: All right.

1020
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:07,760
Speaker 6: So one of my biggest life failures is uh shitting

1021
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 6: in a TJ Max changing room into one of the

1022
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 6: genes that they sell there. So what happened was it

1023
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 6: was a Sunday morning, like in any other I was

1024
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 6: going out with my boyfriend at the time, and I

1025
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 6: had a nice eggy breakfast right before, so you already

1026
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 6: know what's about to happen. We go shopping in the

1027
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,879
Speaker 6: TJ Max and I try on a few things and yeah,

1028
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 6: one thing led to another and I ship in one

1029
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,880
Speaker 6: of the genes that I was trying on. And the

1030
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 6: worst part about it, I uh, I had to put

1031
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 6: the jeans right back on the shelf. No, you didn't

1032
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 6: have to do that, clean myself off with the jeans.

1033
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 6: I turned it inside out so that way I was

1034
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:55,399
Speaker 6: able to clean myself and then flip the right back out,

1035
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 6: hung it right back out, and then yeah, left the

1036
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 6: TJ Max today is still one of my greatest shames.

1037
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 6: And I thought I was gonna take it with me

1038
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 6: to the grave, but yeah, I guess that's didn't work out.

1039
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 6: So there's one of my fails.

1040
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,800
Speaker 4: She just confessed to being a bad person.

1041
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, she didn't need to put it back. Yeah what

1042
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 1: I mean, like, wait, she had uncontrollable poops.

1043
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 2: Hide it in the corner, in the corner, throw in

1044
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 2: the garbage.

1045
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't got to hang it back on the show.

1046
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 2: That's crazy, because we've all I've actually I've I did

1047
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 2: a bad shitting thing once.

1048
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:32,839
Speaker 1: Tell us even more.

1049
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,280
Speaker 2: I was walking home from the mall with my friend Julie.

1050
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 2: This must have been junior high, and all of a

1051
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: sudden I knew I had to have diarrhea. There's a

1052
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 2: mattress giant. I go, we gotta get in there. So

1053
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 2: she sits on the mattress. I go to the bathroom

1054
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 2: and honestly, to this day, I like really can't believe it,

1055
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 2: like the toilets, but the ship was like I was

1056
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 2: really shitting. I don't know what was happening. But it

1057
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: was like every reason I didn't sit on it. It

1058
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 2: was going, what.

1059
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: Is this ship?

1060
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 2: Was ever? The toilets like nothing has ever happened close

1061
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,840
Speaker 2: to that ever again? And I just looked at it

1062
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 2: and I was like, I need to get the fuck out.

1063
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 4: Of here, like jet propelled off of the toilet.

1064
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 1: Oh glit for you.

1065
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 2: And I run and I go, Julie, get moving and

1066
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 2: she's just sitting on a mattress. What I go, start running?

1067
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 2: So we're like running and then the women, of course

1068
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 2: run out of a mattress, giant going like come back

1069
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 2: and clean it up, running it so I'm about you know,

1070
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 2: I should have probably cleaned up, but I was twelve.

1071
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1072
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 4: It was like two weeks ago Junior high high ipeded

1073
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 4: in a cab in Mexico into a water bottle because

1074
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 4: we had terrible Mexican traffic and we would come back

1075
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 4: from like event this is recent, this is my friend's

1076
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 4: bachelerette party. I said, as long as the driver don

1077
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 4: went back here, I'll be fine. But then I'm I'm

1078
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 4: not in the club by myself.

1079
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 2: It's a you're overflowing the bottles.

1080
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 4: Was never looking up the bottle. It was not big enough,

1081
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 4: and it was coming out fast. You go, oh, I'm

1082
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 4: a piaso fast. You can't piece slow. You go, oh shit,

1083
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 4: oh shit. So and then I had to throw it

1084
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 4: out the window. But it is spilt a little bit.

1085
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 3: In the car.

1086
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 4: Sorry.

1087
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 1: Five Stars one of my buddies, and they said this

1088
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 1: on Howard Stern. That works on Howard Stern. He went

1089
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 1: to the gathering the Juggalos, the Insane clown Posse event,

1090
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: and he opened the pot of porta potty door, excuse me,

1091
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: and there was a pile of feces that went above

1092
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 1: the bowl like a pyramid, and at the top of

1093
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 1: the pile of ship it was just two butt cheek.

1094
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 1: Someone sat into it and continued adding to it. Oh no,

1095
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: sat down into the ship. I own ship.

1096
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 3: More ship into it.

1097
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 1: That is every disease my dog has right now.

1098
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 2: Oh I'm gonna ruin. Okay, this is a porn star thing.

1099
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 1: Then I really have to go, only because I have

1100
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 1: the piece.

1101
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 2: Her name's Aiden Saw. But she was doing an interview

1102
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 2: on Asa Kira's old pie cast, and she said, as

1103
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 2: a dominatrix, when she ships on these dudes, she'd rather

1104
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,359
Speaker 2: them eat it. Because then it doesn't smell because she goes.

1105
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 2: If they leave it in the room, then it smells.

1106
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 1: And it made you ruined the sanctity of this podcast.

1107
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 2: I know, I know.

1108
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 1: And now there will never be another pope.

1109
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:20,719
Speaker 4: No, people are really upset smoking. The Vatican is gonna

1110
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 4: be brown.

1111
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,439
Speaker 1: Who do you want to be the j Van he's

1112
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 1: the only one eligible. Yeah, no, I don't know. That's

1113
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 1: a nonsense thing. Make you fucking Ronald McDonald's. It gives

1114
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 1: a ship. I have to pee so bad and we're

1115
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 1: like half an hour overtime. It's a jug of moonshine, a.

1116
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 2: Netflix special called night Owl. It's out, It's just out.

1117
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 2: And then my podcast is that's messed up and has

1118
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 2: to be podcasts. And I'm on the road all the time,

1119
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 2: so visit me at at glitter Cheese and I have

1120
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:51,720
Speaker 2: a link tree with all the dates.

1121
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: Why glitter Cheese. You gotta update that. That's too goofball.

1122
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 1: That's like your AOL handle from when you're tell.

1123
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,959
Speaker 2: You why Lisa Traeger is spelled so many different ways

1124
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 2: that Glitter Cheese people just remember.

1125
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 4: That's there's a lot of surprise.

1126
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 1: Is it a l I s?

1127
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1128
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, git and they go, what's that I'm standing down?

1129
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 1: They go, I love that I'm standing down. You did

1130
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 1: your research the fagotory of that. Okay, everybody.

1131
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 4: To listen watch my tato, specially it's coming out to Hulu,

1132
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 4: I think sometimes in May.

1133
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're plugging somebody's ship that isn't here.

1134
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, he made Gail King say faggot and on that.

1135
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 1: No, good night, ladies and gentleman, thank you, thank you,

1136
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, guys, appreciate it.

1137
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 3: With the recond.

1138
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 1: All right, listen up, we got something special for you.

1139
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about

1140
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your

1141
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 1: chance to tell me all the it babe. I want

1142
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,919
Speaker 1: to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck

1143
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: was I thinking? What just happened moment? So pick up

1144
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: your phone and dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven

1145
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 1: one six two six six twenty four sixty four and

1146
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 1: leave me a voicemail and we might just play it

1147
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre is brought

1148
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 1: to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and

1149
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 1: iHeart Podcast. Our producer is Bei Wang. Our research assistant

1150
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 1: is David Carliner, Our editor in sound designers Andy Harris,

1151
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 1: and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate US

1152
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 1: five stars and drop a review on your podcast app

1153
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:34,280
Speaker 1: A choice