Speaker 1: Listener note, we recorded this episode before election day.
Speaker 2: I approved this disclaimer.
Speaker 1: Are leaving I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 1: time and a terminal engage.
Speaker 2: We want to send you off.
Speaker 1: Install you wanna welcome you back home?
Speaker 3: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 3: Karen, Hello, my friend for Salo. You had a fender
Speaker 3: bender I did. The great part about this story is
Speaker 3: that it wasn't.
Speaker 2: My fault, but it was or was not your fender.
Speaker 4: It absolutely was my backfender and it was real loud,
Speaker 4: quite a jolt, very very surprising, and it wasn't my fault.
Speaker 1: That's all I care about.
Speaker 2: Well, having been through this, I just have a few
Speaker 2: legal questions. Okay, the person that it was a rear ending,
Speaker 2: This person rear ended you, correct? They were uninsured, correct,
Speaker 2: have you or do you plan on seeking retribution? No,
Speaker 2: not vengeance. I was gonna say going to a doctor
Speaker 2: and seeing no, okay, but are you going to get
Speaker 2: your car fixed or are you just gonna.
Speaker 1: Oh, did you look? There's literally three scratches. It's like
Speaker 1: it's happened.
Speaker 2: I've noticed, unless that puncture was already there. I just
Speaker 2: thought if you wanted to get it fixed. My whole
Speaker 2: point was going to be the lawyer after my rear
Speaker 2: ending thing was like, you have to go to therapy,
Speaker 2: physical therapy to build your case. The insurance is going
Speaker 2: to want to see that you had to go seek
Speaker 2: physical therapy. But if you aren't going to worry about it,
Speaker 2: I'm not, and you're gonna then you're just you're just fine.
Speaker 4: Then here's my thing. I'm pretty sure I'm fine at
Speaker 4: this point. It's like coming up on twenty four hours.
Speaker 4: I'm hoping to make it to forty eight without any
Speaker 4: like bad news or you know, my entire neck locking
Speaker 4: up or something terrible. But as I was saying to Boomer,
Speaker 4: one of one of our many exactly right employees, I've
Speaker 4: been inother car sins that were definitely worse and didn't have,
Speaker 4: you know, aside from soreness and like needing to kind
Speaker 4: of be careful and stretch and stuff. I'm hoping I
Speaker 4: have the same results, but I'm just gonna like be
Speaker 4: real careful and observant for.
Speaker 1: Like another couple of days.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But other than that, to watch a young girl's
Speaker 4: probably in her twenties sobbing, like sitting on the sidewalk
Speaker 4: sobbing because she is she basically it's like it seemed
Speaker 4: like her life was over. Yeah, And that is how
Speaker 4: people these days are living because no one can afford groceries.
Speaker 4: Everybody's making probably a minimum wage or something in that area.
Speaker 1: Like it's not a thing.
Speaker 4: That if I needed to fix my car, it would
Speaker 4: be for superficial reasons. And I don't care about shit
Speaker 4: like that, So I'm probably not going to, Like I
Speaker 4: wouldn't do it if I hit a pole as I
Speaker 4: was pulling into a parking lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm not suddenly gonna make her pay. And
Speaker 1: I know she was.
Speaker 4: Scared shitless because it was like it happened right near
Speaker 4: the police station all that stuff, and it's just like
Speaker 4: it can't I'm it just doesn't matter to me in
Speaker 4: that way, and I'm pretty sure that I'm fine. So
Speaker 4: if I'm fine and I can tell everybody else, they're fine,
Speaker 4: fucking God bless let's have Let's have more days like
Speaker 4: that where people make mistakes and then everyone gets out
Speaker 4: from it.
Speaker 2: Right. I think my rack the car was when the
Speaker 2: car was reached, the tow truck person was looking at
Speaker 2: us like he was seeing a ghost because he thought
Speaker 2: whoever was in that wreck did not make it.
Speaker 1: So it was horrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone going like forty five, so that was a
Speaker 2: little different, I guess. But I did feel fine the
Speaker 2: next day, and then afterwards I was like, my hip's hurt. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and we all know how that ended with a hip surgery.
Speaker 1: But but you didn't. I mean, that must have been right,
Speaker 1: pre existing conditions.
Speaker 2: Sorry, totally it was. But as far as X Ray
Speaker 2: told me, it was like, oh, your hips have been
Speaker 2: wearing out forever, but they didn't bother me until after
Speaker 2: that accident.
Speaker 4: I mean, look, when you get when a car slams
Speaker 4: into you going forty miles an hour, you can't tell
Speaker 4: me that doesn't have an effect.
Speaker 2: Right. It's like a really bad chiropractor doing an adjustment
Speaker 2: on you, and all your muscles.
Speaker 4: Like I looked up and saw this truck screen like
Speaker 4: locking up their brakes and screeching in. So I know
Speaker 4: my whole body ten stuff like, you know, all those
Speaker 4: things are concerned. But at the same time, it's like
Speaker 4: that's also there's a lot of people being made to
Speaker 4: live on the razor's edge in this country. It's not
Speaker 4: fucking their fault.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even the guy that rear ended me at Leave Town. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like, well that changed everything. I guess my little
Speaker 2: business I was going to start here isn't going to happen.
Speaker 4: I mean, and I just have to say, when I
Speaker 4: was in my early twenties living in Sacramento and as
Speaker 4: my dad likes to say, bouncing the car off of
Speaker 4: every goddamn surface I could find, I had to leave
Speaker 4: town because the third carcident I got into that I
Speaker 4: caused my mom was like pack your stuff, I'm coming
Speaker 4: to get you tomorrow. Where It's like I suddenly lived
Speaker 4: in Pedaluma, and so it was like, yeah, sometimes sometimes
Speaker 4: stuff like that happens, and it's like a redirection because
Speaker 4: that's what you're You're not supposed to be doing things
Speaker 4: the same way anymore.
Speaker 2: It's funny. Yeah, and you aren't apparently because you're now
Speaker 2: very good driver. You're calm, you do all the right moves.
Speaker 1: Right, aren't I so different? Also way nicer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never been in a rack, and I'm so
Speaker 2: glad I'm not the one driving.
Speaker 1: You just said you were in a wreck.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it was just I was sitting at a
Speaker 2: red light though. It was no. You know, like, I've
Speaker 2: never caused any traffic issues.
Speaker 1: Oh got you, got you.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I've caused some issues. It's just not traffic, yes,
Speaker 2: just nothing contactless. They were all contactless issues.
Speaker 1: They were kind of more emotional vibes. Yes, you changed
Speaker 1: the vibe. Yeah, really badly.
Speaker 2: I've like changed the intersection like feeling that everyone was feeling.
Speaker 4: Were you one of those people that like goes to
Speaker 4: take a left in the center lane, but you don't
Speaker 4: get all the way.
Speaker 1: Over, so you just block traffic because you're the word.
Speaker 2: No, I am someone that if anyone's in the car
Speaker 2: with me, they're frustrated because I will go around the block.
Speaker 2: If I don't see the opportunity to turn its presenting itself.
Speaker 2: It's like it's okay, I'll just go around the block.
Speaker 2: I'll go an extra mile because I didn't want to
Speaker 2: do the wrong thing.
Speaker 4: That's really nice and it's very different than the person
Speaker 4: who peed into that plastic container and put it on
Speaker 4: that wall right there.
Speaker 2: Oh and if they really shouldn't be it shouldn't be orange.
Speaker 4: Like that, I mean, they need to drink more water immediately.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what happened. That was a truck driver. That's
Speaker 2: exactly at window length for a sixteen wheeler guy to
Speaker 2: be like timed empty the toilet like Dave Matthews span
Speaker 2: right at this overpass.
Speaker 1: The one man toilet into.
Speaker 2: The Oh and I don't want to know what's in
Speaker 2: that plastic bag right below it.
Speaker 1: It's just a note that says super sorry, but it's
Speaker 1: wrapped up in a plastic bag. It's ali hat sorry.
Speaker 2: I just had a lot of Vitamin B vitamins. It's
Speaker 2: why it's orange like this, truly.
Speaker 1: Like almost like a high sea orange that pee and carbonated.
Speaker 2: Well, I just want to say I'm glad that you're fine.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I mean I am too.
Speaker 4: It is really crazy, like having been in a lot
Speaker 4: of accidents. It was a little PTSD and yet even
Speaker 4: right after it happened, I had this surge of not
Speaker 4: my fault, yay, not my fault, Like right, it's such
Speaker 4: a relief when it's not your fault.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's like and you you can leave a
Speaker 2: wreck confidently knowing that you're the winner because you didn't
Speaker 2: cause it.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's important. It's because I've costed so many, so
Speaker 4: many And also they're just like, ugh, it's just I
Speaker 4: felt bad for those guys because there, I don't think
Speaker 4: there they could drive their car like there's I had
Speaker 4: scratches on the back of this car, and their car
Speaker 4: they were like, gonna have to get it toad.
Speaker 1: Wow, just a bummer, just a huge bummer.
Speaker 2: Uh oh, it's just chewing out as uh spit, spitting
Speaker 2: out as chew Rather, what is that called?
Speaker 1: I do that a full reversal.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do it with words, but apparently I also
Speaker 2: do it with sentences.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you know what it is, I think theoretically DYSLEXI.
Speaker 2: I know you're going to say it.
Speaker 1: No, I was going to say, long COVID. Oh, that's
Speaker 1: what it is. I mean, I think there's a lot.
Speaker 4: Of people who have I think COVID affected all of
Speaker 4: our brains, all of our brains in a way that
Speaker 4: we just don't know about.
Speaker 2: Yet because our brains aren't working as well, so we
Speaker 2: don't know anything.
Speaker 1: Feels like it.
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe that's true, and maybe I just want to
Speaker 4: pull everyone into the menopausal nightmare that I have been
Speaker 4: living in.
Speaker 2: Oh oh well, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I mean it just sucks.
Speaker 2: I do notice that my memory isn't as good. Oh,
Speaker 2: but it's always with like names or something. Yeah, why
Speaker 2: can't I think of Ed Harris?
Speaker 1: That's who it was.
Speaker 2: I was trying to think of Ed.
Speaker 1: Harris the other day. He's I love him. Yeah, he's great,
Speaker 1: He's one of the best. He was at a bar
Speaker 1: one night.
Speaker 4: He was at this bar, Fellini's, that we used to
Speaker 4: go to every night in the nineties, and we got
Speaker 4: there like right after our comedy show end.
Speaker 1: Didn't you ever go to Fillini's? So that that was
Speaker 1: before your time?
Speaker 2: The filmmaker it's the bar based on his.
Speaker 1: Film, based on his phone.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, and uh so it was like I haven't
Speaker 4: nine thirty it's closed now. But we get there and
Speaker 4: everyone's like, you know, friends with the bartenders and Da
Speaker 4: da Dad doing our normal thing. And then I look
Speaker 4: over and I'm like, that's fucking ed Harris at the
Speaker 4: end of the bar. And he was like at the
Speaker 4: end of the bar talking to one guy, you know,
Speaker 4: head kind of down, trying to be low key. But
Speaker 4: he stayed because I was like, this guy's gonna jump
Speaker 4: up and run away for sure because we're so obnoxious whatever.
Speaker 1: And then but he's stayed.
Speaker 4: So all the kind of young comedy kids were getting
Speaker 4: drunk and being obnoxious and he just kind of sat
Speaker 4: down there like talking to his friend. It was I
Speaker 4: was very excited for a solid maybe hour, and then
Speaker 4: he then he left.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, that's exciting just in the wild, say someone
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: He also has an incredible face.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's got those eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just like the chisel jaw. I mean he's
Speaker 1: just a movie star face.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, which.
Speaker 1: Is exciting to see in a bar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess you never. They're all good looking, these actors.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a big part of it unless you're
Speaker 1: a character actor and right, right, you're just doing a
Speaker 1: different thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm somewhere lost in the middle. So that's why
Speaker 2: my career hasn't taken off. I gotta get charactery.
Speaker 1: Why don't you have someone punch you and break.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say a broken nose would help.
Speaker 2: And then you know, just really throw caution to the
Speaker 2: wind with the food I eat, and then i'd probably
Speaker 2: get more probably because you know, or I can just
Speaker 2: get super ripped and get a bunch of face surgery
Speaker 2: but right in the middle. Or it's because I don't
Speaker 2: care that much. Yeah, yeah, and I'd never taken an
Speaker 2: acting class. Is it probably most likely that could be?
Speaker 4: They could be the I mean that's I feel like
Speaker 4: every stand up comic comes to Los Angeles doing stand
Speaker 4: up comedy and then is convinced by like a manager
Speaker 4: that they could really do anything they want if they
Speaker 4: just if they just memorize their lines. And it's like,
Speaker 4: it's so disrespectful to acting to pretend that you can
Speaker 4: just do it real good naturally because it's so fucking hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I suppose it is.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: No. I kind of enjoy it though.
Speaker 1: I mean fun and stuff. Yeah, I think you're very
Speaker 1: good at it. But there's like, as you well know,
Speaker 1: there's all that technical side. This is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4: There's no reason this person shouldn't fully be in that
Speaker 4: lane and not in my lane at all.
Speaker 2: Right, right, they're being real half asked.
Speaker 4: About it, and then I'm like, okay, so do I
Speaker 4: have to do this and kind of go around and
Speaker 4: basically once.
Speaker 2: Again, oh, we're gonna give him stink eye.
Speaker 1: Someone has to live around your mistakes, sir.
Speaker 2: I've seen Michael Caine talk about this thing where he
Speaker 2: is looking at the whatever eye it's closer to the
Speaker 2: camera on the person who's acting with. He just looks
Speaker 2: in that eye and he doesn't blink. And I've seen
Speaker 2: three or four interviews where he repeats those two things,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, wait, is that all Michael Caine ever did?
Speaker 2: Make sure not to blink and look in the eye
Speaker 2: of the actor that is closest to camera so you
Speaker 2: see more of your face.
Speaker 4: And also, I think the third thing on that list
Speaker 4: is weird pauses, not unlike.
Speaker 2: Christopher walking or something. Yeah, yeah, you got to have
Speaker 2: these intermittent weird pauses.
Speaker 4: A weird pose. It makes the audience goes sorry, wait,
Speaker 4: oh I am listening. Would you just say why didn't
Speaker 4: you say it like that?
Speaker 2: I do that I have a weird cadence.
Speaker 1: Oh, your cadence is fucking bizarre.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, I voted today and four to You know,
Speaker 2: if only I could have colored in a bigger circle
Speaker 2: for how No, I I went for the other people.
Speaker 2: But I am worried. Yes, I feel every time I
Speaker 2: put it in a I did the ballot, dropox, drop
Speaker 2: off box, dropbox off. There, I did it again, you.
Speaker 1: Did, but you did it for attention that time.
Speaker 2: I'm nervous that I don't know that it's not going
Speaker 2: to get vandalized. I don't know where that's happening, but
Speaker 2: it is happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it happened in was it Texas? Oh this is exactly?
Speaker 2: Oh, oh boy, okay, this is where it happened.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, just that's how it happened. Only I
Speaker 4: was like, there's a little more time because I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's yellow, I'm not going to run it. So I
Speaker 4: slowed down to stop, and the person behind me assumed
Speaker 4: I was going to run it from far away.
Speaker 2: I think the trauma of the accident hasn't sunk it
Speaker 2: in yet because you're still in shock.
Speaker 1: I've recorded so many podcasts since that time. It's kind
Speaker 1: of nute.
Speaker 2: Well, you just need to sit in a room and
Speaker 2: think about what's happened.
Speaker 1: Okay, alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't have anyone there. Okay unless it's a therapist.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, good good.
Speaker 2: What do you feel that way though, when you, oh,
Speaker 2: play soothing music? Okay, when you leave it in the
Speaker 2: ballot box? I feel like I feel that way with
Speaker 2: a letter too. There's no way, what if there's a
Speaker 2: hole in the box, what if this one isn't being
Speaker 2: used anymore? It's just weird to put it in a
Speaker 2: slot and assume you've done your job. I don't have
Speaker 2: the closure. I need a receipt.
Speaker 1: Yes, I totally understand that.
Speaker 2: And I always gone to a polling place. This is
Speaker 2: my first time doing the drop off or male in version.
Speaker 4: I mean, it is scary and it's but it's also like,
Speaker 4: you know that the whole that this idea, and it's
Speaker 4: the irony of like the twenty twenty election was stolen.
Speaker 4: But then it's like, but then there's a bunch of
Speaker 4: people trying to steal this election, right, like right that
Speaker 4: they've already you know, they tried to light some ballot box.
Speaker 2: You're saying twenty twenty was stolen.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, no, it's the claim.
Speaker 2: It's it's what it's I wanted you to reiterate because
Speaker 2: it sounded like that's what you said.
Speaker 4: I feel like, I know I've been very vague about
Speaker 4: my politics on the show, but just so everybody knows,
Speaker 4: I'm a Democrat.
Speaker 1: I'm for sure voting.
Speaker 4: For the first female president, the first female black president.
Speaker 4: Like everything about Kamala Harris's a future presidency is what
Speaker 4: I am about and excited for and want in this
Speaker 4: country needs and I and she has some good plans.
Speaker 4: One of them is about fixing fucking price gouging these
Speaker 4: fucking grocery stores that are ruining people's lives.
Speaker 2: That is something you care about, and I've heard you
Speaker 2: talk about. Yes, it matters, and especially with cereal.
Speaker 1: Oh, the cereal thing was creaty. They were trying to
Speaker 1: charge fucking fourteen dollars for like a box of Lucky Charms,
Speaker 1: And I said, hey, that's my dinner. What are you doing?
Speaker 1: How dare you.
Speaker 2: How many mush marshmallow shapes or mushroom shapes? Is there
Speaker 2: a mushroom is what I was going to ask. I
Speaker 2: don't think so purple mushrooms.
Speaker 1: There could be a actually that sounds familiar, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Only at like a music festival. Do you want to
Speaker 2: take more purple mushrooms. I yeah, I feel like that
Speaker 2: that is important because groceries are it's staggering. Just in
Speaker 2: this past year, every time I go to a grocery store,
Speaker 2: that's one of those things situations where I'm like, no
Speaker 2: one can afford this. I'm doing okay, and I'm still
Speaker 2: like I'm nervous when I buy a bunch of groceries. Yes,
Speaker 2: imagine as an entire family, someone that's trying to feed
Speaker 2: a bunch of faces.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the worst.
Speaker 1: And also it's like it's not just grocery stores. It's
Speaker 1: like everyone saw grocery stores doing it and we're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: well then now the McDonald's combo meals are now going
Speaker 1: to be you know, fifteen dollars, and it's like, excuse me, McDonald's,
Speaker 1: how dare you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's really gotten ridiculous, especially fast food. It's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I could go to a good place, yeah instead of this,
Speaker 2: This is ridiculous. But the fact that that's always been
Speaker 2: the argument for why I should be preparing my meals
Speaker 2: at home as it's cheaper, But these days it's like
Speaker 2: I could have had someone else make this and it
Speaker 2: would have been better and maybe just cost a dollar more.
Speaker 2: It shouldn't be that way. No, they need to get lower.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't. It has to change.
Speaker 4: Just that idea of like that is that's a real
Speaker 4: policy and a real idea of like fixing the many
Speaker 4: problems in this country, as opposed to an old guy
Speaker 4: who is just being a weird racist and has no
Speaker 4: ideas and isn't going to do anything like I don't
Speaker 4: understand Trump voters are kidding themselves and doing a huge
Speaker 4: disservice to basically everybody else in the country.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they just aren't taking life seriously. I can't figure
Speaker 2: it out. I'm very That's what I think about every
Speaker 2: day when I wake up. It's like, are are people
Speaker 2: not seeing the same things I'm seeing? You know when
Speaker 2: you think about well, I know that's the color red,
Speaker 2: but how do we know that everyone else is seeing
Speaker 2: the same color? I feel like that's I don't know
Speaker 2: what other people are really seeing or yeah, weird.
Speaker 4: No, that's the word of existence. That's kind of the
Speaker 4: and I think that is the Internet. The inevitability of
Speaker 4: what was going to happen with the Internet, because fake
Speaker 4: news and all that where it's basically like, that's not real,
Speaker 4: the verified source is not real.
Speaker 1: We decide what's real or it's like.
Speaker 4: But then can't you admit that the people that are
Speaker 4: saying that are manipulating things to say this isn't real
Speaker 4: or is real based on what their agenda is.
Speaker 2: It's interesting to think that it's that paranoia about the
Speaker 2: rig collection that is making me worried about my ballot.
Speaker 2: It's seeping into my own actual my brain that should
Speaker 2: know better. It's well, but I shouldn't be worried.
Speaker 1: Well, because twenty twenty we were all that was insane.
Speaker 1: We watched people storm the fucking capital. People we knew
Speaker 1: stormed the fucking Capitol.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that guy very well. I saw him
Speaker 2: in passing once when I visited.
Speaker 1: I knew him. Whoa, whoa did you hear that?
Speaker 2: Yeah that I think it came from above, And I
Speaker 2: don't mean heaven, I mean the overpath. I yeah, it's
Speaker 2: it's yeah, yeah, I think that that's my paranoia is
Speaker 2: just it's just something I have. I don't know, if
Speaker 2: you're not alone, maybe it also is. There was one
Speaker 2: time where I saw an old guy and this is
Speaker 2: a tear jerker of a story. But I really saw
Speaker 2: an old guy try and put a letter into a
Speaker 2: recycling bin because I was blue, sure, and I had
Speaker 2: to intervene and say, that's not a mailbox. It sure
Speaker 2: looks like one, doesn't it. But there was one right
Speaker 2: next to it, and he was like very embarrassed. Yes,
Speaker 2: but he was in his seventies. And I think after
Speaker 2: that interaction, I did go and cheer up a bit,
Speaker 2: I bet, because I don't know who's writing a letter
Speaker 2: of a son or daughter that doesn't talk to him enough.
Speaker 2: And he he wrote a handwritten letter and he almost
Speaker 2: put it in a recycling bin.
Speaker 1: To have it go nowhere. Yeah, but then you stepped in,
Speaker 1: which is nice.
Speaker 4: This is one of your step in stories that I sup.
Speaker 2: I ran across the street. Yeah, I And the only
Speaker 2: reason I did it is so later I could talk
Speaker 2: about it on the podcast. But I did also, but.
Speaker 1: You did it it still, I did do it. At
Speaker 1: this partially counts.
Speaker 2: Yea thank you. Yeah, I do a goode.
Speaker 1: I like the I like oldies.
Speaker 2: They're goodies.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're okay, but they need to wear better glasses.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that actually sounds like the kind of thing I
Speaker 4: would do because I just am very indignantly not wearing
Speaker 4: my glasses.
Speaker 2: This guy, more than anything, Yeah, was just not paying attention.
Speaker 2: And I could see I could relate to what he
Speaker 2: is about to do because the mailbox was right there.
Speaker 2: But today at the ballot I was like kept looking
Speaker 2: because it was right next to because the drop off
Speaker 2: place was a library. It was right next to a
Speaker 2: book depository. Oh yeah, and I want to know how
Speaker 2: many ballots are in that book. Ha, Like I'm being
Speaker 2: paranoid because of this the news that other people are
Speaker 2: talking about. Where I roll my eyes, but then it's
Speaker 2: seeped into my brain.
Speaker 4: Well, can I say something I heard John Lovett say
Speaker 4: on the.
Speaker 1: The Crooked Media Guy. Yeah you has love it or
Speaker 1: leave it?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's his podcast, and he was saying Trump is
Speaker 4: actually making these weird insinuations that they have a little
Speaker 4: surprise for everybody. He was saying that, and he I
Speaker 4: don't like that, No, it's very scary. But he's like,
Speaker 4: so what we do to make sure that there's no
Speaker 4: surprise possible is we have to win.
Speaker 1: Democrats have to win the House so that Hakeem.
Speaker 4: Jeffries is the speaker because if Mike Johnson's the speaker.
Speaker 4: He's going to be the one that says, oh, this
Speaker 4: she won by a landslide, and yet I'm not going
Speaker 4: to validate it. And these people are like, it's we're
Speaker 4: at that point where they're just overt cheaters and psychos.
Speaker 4: So we have to win the house. So now the
Speaker 4: but everybody's like everybody who cares and wants it wants
Speaker 4: Kamala Harris to be the president. Now we have to
Speaker 4: focus on these house races that that are down to
Speaker 4: like hundreds of votes in certain areas and just have
Speaker 4: to focus on that.
Speaker 2: And I've heard that, I've heard that I think that
Speaker 2: the secret isn't a secret anymore, and hopefully that is
Speaker 2: the secret. Yeah, but now I'm paranoid and I'm like,
Speaker 2: what if it's a different secret.
Speaker 1: I mean, he could have multiple secrets for sure.
Speaker 2: Oh we know heyes so many dirty little secrets.
Speaker 1: He's an insane rapist and that's no secret.
Speaker 2: It is not imagine the things that are a secret.
Speaker 1: Republican courts have actually confirmed that fact. It is not gossip.
Speaker 1: I'm not being a bitch.
Speaker 2: Can you I don't think you are either? Explain to
Speaker 2: me what the electoral college. Is I know this question.
Speaker 2: It sounds like pretend I'm an alien and I just
Speaker 2: got lower down gelatinous and I rolled down a conveyor
Speaker 2: belt ramp.
Speaker 4: I mean this is I am truly the last person
Speaker 4: you should to ask. But from what I understand, instead
Speaker 4: of states being having the votes represented by how many
Speaker 4: people live there and vote there, there was this kind
Speaker 4: of system set up where like these guys get this
Speaker 4: many numbers, and these guys get this many numbers, and
Speaker 4: it's completely based on old politicking, and it is it
Speaker 4: needs to be done away with in its entirety so
Speaker 4: that when like say, for example, people in Wyoming vote
Speaker 4: and there's only fourteen thousand and.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean they have or Montana, where
Speaker 2: I'm from, Yeah, we get too. Yeah, it's the same,
Speaker 2: it's worth the same as California, which has so many
Speaker 2: more people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: So it should be based on what the what the
Speaker 4: public and the populations of people actually want, as opposed
Speaker 4: to these weird systems that got set up that actually
Speaker 4: are just systems that are basically set to scam.
Speaker 1: Right, But that but it.
Speaker 2: Seems like there's not of right, not a lot of
Speaker 2: Republican people that hate the electoral college.
Speaker 1: No, because it gives they are in the minority.
Speaker 4: It gives them this advantage and it makes them believe
Speaker 4: that they are not where it's they're like, well, we
Speaker 4: got this so this is a red state, this is
Speaker 4: a blue state. And it's like, actually, if you this
Speaker 4: is not a fact. But I'm here's an example of
Speaker 4: what they could say. Is that, like, if you based
Speaker 4: it on the amount of votes that got counted in
Speaker 4: West Virginia, probably probably not, but I'm just saying a
Speaker 4: state the electoral college is like this counts as you know,
Speaker 4: this many, but actually the amount of votes from pure
Speaker 4: population is not that.
Speaker 1: It's like.
Speaker 2: These guys, yeah, they're they're having a real film in Louise.
Speaker 2: They're about to grant class hands and go off a cliff.
Speaker 1: There was they were driving the filma in Louise car. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they looked like a hipsters with beer.
Speaker 2: Their hair was very well done, if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 2: The passenger was comedian nick Yusif and his hair has
Speaker 2: never looked better. I just my whole life. I've heard
Speaker 2: my parents and other Democrats I know complain about a
Speaker 2: well if it weren't for the electoral college. But people
Speaker 2: are talking about trying to get rid of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think they've been think I signed the thing
Speaker 4: they've been trying for a while. It feels like the
Speaker 4: heater in my car is on I mean seat, oh, the.
Speaker 1: Seed heater my sea.
Speaker 2: I for instance, I often say, without trying to be funny,
Speaker 2: heat seedar. And that's one of the better examples. There
Speaker 2: has to be a word for Chambele's conkie soup. There
Speaker 2: has to be a word for people that do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet there is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to learn it because I have it,
Speaker 2: and I'm assuming. I'm assuming now it's a disease. It is,
Speaker 2: But I have that means like COVID when I was
Speaker 2: like ten, because I've been doing this forever.
Speaker 1: You got it first I did.
Speaker 2: I did it was the for I was patient zero.
Speaker 4: Let me just circle back and say that I should
Speaker 4: have never even tried to start explaining the electoral college
Speaker 4: to you because I don't technically know what it is.
Speaker 4: So why would I pretend I don't know what's wrong
Speaker 4: with me?
Speaker 2: Because you know you're talking to me, and I you
Speaker 2: probably you know more than me. I just wanted to
Speaker 2: hear what I kind of already knew. But it's vague
Speaker 2: to everyone. I think that's the point.
Speaker 1: It's kind of vague, but it is, you know it
Speaker 1: because it is this Oh my god that BMW.
Speaker 2: What about it?
Speaker 1: It was just like, oh, yeah, it's just hanging out
Speaker 1: in front of people and let go and it's like stop.
Speaker 1: Everyone needs to stop driving, like their thing is more important.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think it might be called Spoonerism.
Speaker 1: I was just looking it up. Oh, nice, a spoonerism.
Speaker 2: Spoonerism. I think you're right. That does sound and familiar
Speaker 2: on a lie.
Speaker 4: Is it because that's a character from a Dickens book
Speaker 4: and that's missus Spooner.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. Oh wow. No.
Speaker 5: It says that it was coined after William Archibald Spooner,
Speaker 5: who was a clergyman of a New College of a
Speaker 5: New College of Oxford University, dean and professor. So he
Speaker 5: was I guess he was known for doing that, swapping
Speaker 5: parts of different words with each other.
Speaker 2: Oh, maybe Dickens was referencing him. I just like saying Dickens,
Speaker 2: especially around the holiday.
Speaker 1: It is fun.
Speaker 2: It is a good time. I saw a giant truck
Speaker 2: today with a huge Yeah it was adorable. No, it
Speaker 2: was one of those jacked up ones where you're confronted
Speaker 2: by what what kind of a person in this There
Speaker 2: was tinted windows, big old truck, giant American flag, What
Speaker 2: are they up to? But then they had a they
Speaker 2: had a Trump sticker. No, yeah, so there you don't
Speaker 2: see a lot of uh lefty patriots flapping the flag
Speaker 2: because it is weird for all of the American flag,
Speaker 2: especially when it's giant and flapping not at a school
Speaker 2: or a federal building, but on a truck. You assume
Speaker 2: a lot about that price.
Speaker 1: Yes, what they say safe? Yeah, well not anymore. Though.
Speaker 4: I think your point is correct that it's it feels
Speaker 4: like it's changing and people are trying to take it back,
Speaker 4: because that makes more sense that a person who's fucked
Speaker 4: Trump would be pro America, because Trump is very anti American.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Maybe they got that sticker and they're like, finally,
Speaker 2: now I can use that giant flag.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I bought that mount for the back of my truck.
Speaker 1: Finally. Yeah, my liberal I was a Bernie bro Ya
Speaker 1: just wanted this was.
Speaker 2: Like a Bernie bro I am doing stand up tonight
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking of wearing my costume.
Speaker 1: Is that a fire up ahead? It looks like one.
Speaker 2: Let's be the first one there? Boo her father. It's okay.
Speaker 2: Her father was a fireman, and I have a brother
Speaker 2: in law and a nephew. There are fire, There is flames.
Speaker 2: I see it.
Speaker 1: Do you really?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a real fire. Maybe that isn't a flame.
Speaker 2: I think it's a golden statue on a building, but
Speaker 2: a light hit it in a certain way.
Speaker 1: It could be Universal Studios doing something.
Speaker 2: Or we're about to drive towards it's it's a smoke
Speaker 2: machine and we're about to go to a pumpkin patch.
Speaker 2: They're so fun to stumble upon accidentally.
Speaker 1: Have you been to one this season?
Speaker 2: I haven't. I haven't. I forgot about pumpkins being part
Speaker 2: of Halloween. Yeah, it just didn't think a carving one.
Speaker 2: I didn't think of buying one and letting it rot
Speaker 2: on my on my porch and getting rid of it
Speaker 2: in late November.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: I do have a joke. Do you mind if we
Speaker 2: do a little joke workshopping?
Speaker 1: That'd be great.
Speaker 2: I do have a because I only do it during Halloween.
Speaker 2: But it's a I used to have a black cat,
Speaker 2: and this real situation of the cat was meowing at
Speaker 2: my jack o' lantern as if to say, hey, why
Speaker 2: don't you clean this up? It's rotten and sagging, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, kittie, fine, and it all unravels into
Speaker 2: this perfect Hallmark Halloween greeting card moment. Because this really happened.
Speaker 2: I grabbed the pumpkin and went to pick it up,
Speaker 2: and it ripped in half, and inside was a rat
Speaker 2: that was so cute and kind of hissed, and the
Speaker 2: cat right fully arched his back. This was all so
Speaker 2: I'm seeing a classic arched black cat and a rat,
Speaker 2: and then I add more to it, including than I
Speaker 2: looked up and there's a full moon, and then a
Speaker 2: witch stopped right in front of it, perfectly silhouetted. What
Speaker 2: can I have that witch say? I've never known. I
Speaker 2: always wanted to be something about astrology, like you're such
Speaker 2: a pissis type of yeah, or something about you were
Speaker 2: born this type of year. I'm asking for information about
Speaker 2: anything about because I'll just say retrograde again. That's why
Speaker 2: you procrastinate. Something the witch can say to me the
Speaker 2: way I'm an aquarius.
Speaker 1: The witch could say, hey, you cheap ask give out
Speaker 1: full sized candy bars? Would it kill you to give
Speaker 1: out full size kids? And then going and fly off,
Speaker 1: Or she could be like, you do know they killed
Speaker 1: a bunch of us, right, right, right?
Speaker 2: Maybe the Witch should bring up Salem.
Speaker 4: I'm kind of going off topic because I can't think
Speaker 4: of what you are actually asking.
Speaker 2: It's very hard. Yes, and I knew when I was
Speaker 2: going into it, like with a lot of my stories,
Speaker 2: that it was gonna end either without a payoff or
Speaker 2: just confusing, and that one was just it was confusing.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's I got the assignment. I just I
Speaker 4: don't know. I think I might need I feel the pressure. Yeah,
Speaker 4: oh god, it would be cool to just immediately have
Speaker 4: this answer.
Speaker 1: That's all I can think about.
Speaker 2: Sometimes riding along with me is like being in a
Speaker 2: stressful writer's room.
Speaker 1: Like taking the SATs again.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, long division it is. I just yeah, I
Speaker 2: will just list all of the things that happened and
Speaker 2: then have the Witch say something about my personality is
Speaker 2: because I was I'm an aquarius.
Speaker 1: Although is that why because.
Speaker 2: Because I procrastinate?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, Why would the Witch be saying that?
Speaker 2: Because she kind of parked in front of the moon,
Speaker 2: and that's the last image I have in this greeting
Speaker 2: card situation. So I feel like the witch should say
Speaker 2: something to me. Oh it also lets people know that
Speaker 2: that part absolutely didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right right.
Speaker 2: This is also a joke that's only gotten a chuckle
Speaker 2: every October.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have you overwritten it? Does it take
Speaker 1: too long to get to Oh?
Speaker 2: Like most of my jokes, yes, yeah, yeah, I gotta
Speaker 2: trim the fat.
Speaker 1: I like that she parked in front of the moon.
Speaker 1: That's pretty funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, from them, she made me have a kickstand on
Speaker 2: her broom.
Speaker 1: She could have a kickstand. Then she says, meet me
Speaker 1: at party City, and you just kind of do a commercial.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay, perfect. I'll come up with a jingle
Speaker 2: that includes the phone number to party City.
Speaker 1: What could it be?
Speaker 2: Oh the jingle?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I guess Pararty City, Party City.
Speaker 2: It's just a phone call away party City.
Speaker 1: Why are you calling here? We don't have a landline.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to know if you had any balloons,
Speaker 2: That's what I'll ask. It is all part of the ad.
Speaker 1: What could the witch say put that pumpkin down or
Speaker 1: that's not funny, right, yeah, I do like it.
Speaker 2: You know, they killed a lot of us in Salem.
Speaker 1: But you're screaming about a rat, right something like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and you're worried about a rat. What about me?
Speaker 2: I you know what, I'm just not going to do
Speaker 2: that joke.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I wish I could have held.
Speaker 2: No, it's I'm sorry that I sprung this assignment on you.
Speaker 4: I mean it is fun to do kind of a
Speaker 4: you know, like a free verse writing assignment.
Speaker 2: Well, last time, when I was going to do my
Speaker 2: sketch where I get electrocuted and then uh wait I
Speaker 2: have someone says my purse was stolen, it worked very well,
Speaker 2: by the way.
Speaker 1: Oh good, yeah, wait did I do that?
Speaker 2: And Annalis had at the end, maybe in the purse
Speaker 2: is an anecdote and an anecdote for the.
Speaker 1: Poison Oh yeah, oh that's right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the person who's purse got stolen was actually
Speaker 2: trying to kill me or it was poisoned.
Speaker 4: And you're telling you're telling us that our participation in
Speaker 4: that joke kind of that was make it was the make.
Speaker 2: It, thank you break It was a successful writing session.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's great to hear yes, Now I'd like to pitch,
Speaker 4: do some pitching the witch.
Speaker 2: Okay, what if.
Speaker 4: The Witch parks in front of the moon and then
Speaker 4: you look look up and then she looks down at you.
Speaker 1: And goes, I have diabetes. Just stop it.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, No, So the Witch is like Wilford Brimley.
Speaker 1: It's like a Wilford Brimley. But it's kind of pointing
Speaker 1: to candy.
Speaker 2: Oh, because of candy.
Speaker 1: Because of candy.
Speaker 2: Okay, I think this is good. Now, these are all things.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna just put it in a bag and mix
Speaker 2: it up and see what sticks.
Speaker 1: I got another one.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: The Witch parks her broom, stops, looks down at you,
Speaker 4: and says, make America great again.
Speaker 2: Okay. It so it's more political. It turns it into
Speaker 2: a political joke. I mean you're super political comedian. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: I pushed a lot of buttons. I split a lot
Speaker 2: of rooms.
Speaker 4: I feel like Halloween is the one non political night. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but people can just really be themselves and put all
Speaker 4: that aside.
Speaker 2: I feel bad that we I even had all these
Speaker 2: political questions so close to Halloween.
Speaker 1: I feel bad that I basically alienated the many, many
Speaker 1: Trump voters who love this podcast.
Speaker 2: There there probably are some, but I assume that if
Speaker 2: they listen to this podcast, they might be just regular
Speaker 2: old Republicans. O l e.
Speaker 4: What if we have old literally like eighty five podcast
Speaker 4: a lot of old listeners?
Speaker 1: What zello, I've never seen that before.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a little confused. Oh we ran into a tree.
Speaker 1: Oh whoops in the other lane.
Speaker 2: I oh't know. I'll think about something with the witch.
Speaker 2: Here's the second workshop assignment tonight. I'm doing a hot
Speaker 2: tub and I'm gonna wear my costume and it is
Speaker 2: I'll show you a video after, but it's just me
Speaker 2: in a bin with fake legs, and then a giant
Speaker 2: guy that I made is carrying the bin. Oh, my
Speaker 2: real legs are his legs. It's a lot like Elvis
Speaker 2: on the toilet. But it's right, a guy carrying me
Speaker 2: around and it looks hilarious. It really looks like I'm
Speaker 2: in this bin, okay, And the guy is very scary.
Speaker 2: And I ordered these doll eyes and put them in
Speaker 2: this mask that's on this dirofoam head. So it's very
Speaker 2: sinister looking. But if I do stand up, should I
Speaker 2: just not address the costume?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 2: No? Should I say? I have a new manager and
Speaker 2: he's here to watch my set.
Speaker 4: I think it's this is my so that you're directly
Speaker 4: making sure the audience understands.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: Oh, guys, sorry, this is my new manager. He's here
Speaker 4: to watch my set.
Speaker 2: Yeah. That's the thing that I always do. I think
Speaker 2: I'm not going to address something, and then I have to.
Speaker 2: I have to, you know how, I like to just
Speaker 2: blurt the truth. I will end up just talking about
Speaker 2: how it's my cost.
Speaker 4: If you say the manager line, which is really funny,
Speaker 4: then you can go. You know, I had to get
Speaker 4: new representation. I'm just tired of being put.
Speaker 1: In a box. Right.
Speaker 2: Oh, A series of puns, of course, will occur, right,
Speaker 2: even you already had that plan. I did have some
Speaker 2: thoughts on it, but yeah, let's hear I have not
Speaker 2: come up with them. Actually, the box one was the
Speaker 2: one I thought.
Speaker 1: Did you Yes, Well, I mean it's pretty obvious.
Speaker 2: You said the phrase correctly, okay, yeah, and I was
Speaker 2: I was going to say it wrong until you said it.
Speaker 4: Thanks you really being nice about the fact that I
Speaker 4: can't think of a witch joke, and I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: It's okay, I don't leave it up. It First of all,
Speaker 2: it doesn't make sense. It's hard to describe a joke
Speaker 2: without actually telling it. But I'm not going to actually
Speaker 2: tell it, because that's the worst thing a comedian can
Speaker 2: do conversationally.
Speaker 1: Is tell a joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why if you're on morning radio, they'll call
Speaker 2: you out on it. Wait, was that from your act? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm here to promote my stand up. You dip, you
Speaker 2: dip shit, and then i'd spill their coffee.
Speaker 1: What if the witch? M h.
Speaker 2: I did want it to be something about the moon
Speaker 2: and me being an aquarius, so maybe I can just
Speaker 2: look that up.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I mean I.
Speaker 2: Feel like, no, I could do this slum which I
Speaker 2: could do the Amanic America Great Again thing.
Speaker 4: No, don't, please, don't do my jokes out of pity.
Speaker 4: That's the worst kind of comedy, a pity for your
Speaker 4: podcast co hosts.
Speaker 1: Comedy.
Speaker 4: None of what I'm saying even makes sense about the witch,
Speaker 4: So it's not like I solved it for you.
Speaker 2: I forgot to mention that the rat was still wearing
Speaker 2: the top of the jack lantern, the top of the
Speaker 2: pumpkin like a little top hat, and he kind of
Speaker 2: pulls it off and goes and tips his hat. That's
Speaker 2: kind of a cute. That's what you can see in
Speaker 2: a greeting car.
Speaker 1: That is very cute.
Speaker 2: When describing the situation, I'm good at making it look
Speaker 2: like an illustration.
Speaker 1: I've got it, but it falls flat with the witch.
Speaker 1: Are you ready?
Speaker 2: What does she say?
Speaker 1: She pulls up in front of the moon and goes raps.
Speaker 2: Well, it did just make me laugh. It did just
Speaker 2: make me laugh.
Speaker 1: That's because it was my seventh try, and it's getting
Speaker 1: more pathetic as I go.
Speaker 2: I think I'll just yes, I'll look up something and
Speaker 2: it would be funny if the if it's something I
Speaker 2: hear all the time about aquariuses, I don't usually listen,
Speaker 2: but there's something about Oh that's what I was initially asking, Yeah,
Speaker 2: what is that about Aquarius people?
Speaker 4: Aquariuses people don't like they're well it's not I mean,
Speaker 4: I don't know about that, but they're they're kind of
Speaker 4: weird to themselves already. They're independent freethinkers. They're kind of
Speaker 4: rebels in that way.
Speaker 2: Are they bad in relationships?
Speaker 4: Depends I think on what who the other sign is
Speaker 4: of the really right?
Speaker 2: That's the thing I'm not willing to chart that I wouldn't. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's uh. It always seems like when I tell people
Speaker 2: I'm an aquarius, it usually seems like it's bad news.
Speaker 2: What if you so I had disdain.
Speaker 4: For I mean, but then there's some people are like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, that aquerus is What if you what
Speaker 4: if the witch pulls up parks in front of the moon,
Speaker 4: You look up and then she goes smash or pass?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: What if she says something trendy? What if she says.
Speaker 4: Slay queen, something that's happening in the in the parlance
Speaker 4: of today.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't have I don't have enough current
Speaker 2: like lex lexicon, lexapro, lexipro. I need to Maybe I
Speaker 2: could ask her for uh, to renew my prescription for lexapro.
Speaker 4: She pulls up and says, mm hmm, Chris, have you
Speaker 4: been microdosing right or macro dosing because you are on drugs?
Speaker 2: Ohay, okay, and I will use that exact delivery.
Speaker 1: This feels a little bit like having to write a
Speaker 1: sketch with a fifth.
Speaker 4: Grader and I am and I realize I'm that fifth grader.
Speaker 2: No, I'm We're in the same class. Oh okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: in that assignment, we both rather be at resets right now.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm just staring out the window but saying whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just gonna have the witch say something that
Speaker 2: you hear a lot from people that are do tarot cards.
Speaker 2: Or maybe she pulls out tarot cards and says, hey,
Speaker 2: here's here's the death card. Don't worry, it's not a
Speaker 2: bad thing.
Speaker 4: What if she pulls up and says, smash that like button.
Speaker 4: Do you see that guy wearing boxes on his head?
Speaker 4: There was a guy literally wearing boxes on his head
Speaker 4: and carrying boxes.
Speaker 2: Really for real? Was it part of a costume or
Speaker 2: he was just.
Speaker 4: Kind of trying to entertain himself as he walked down
Speaker 4: the street.
Speaker 2: He was balancing the boxes.
Speaker 1: No, he it was fully on, kind of robot style
Speaker 1: on his face.
Speaker 2: Well, I've done that before. I'm known to wear boxes.
Speaker 1: Boxes or briefs. See, I did that just fine.
Speaker 2: It was great.
Speaker 1: It was fine because you didn't assign it to me.
Speaker 2: I know, well it fixed the meeting.
Speaker 1: Wait, is that guy on the corner wearing a mask?
Speaker 2: No, it appears that there's just a receipt or a
Speaker 2: piece of paper crumpled up as like a Clydesdale Horse
Speaker 2: Blinder first.
Speaker 1: Because because they don't like walking down the street. I agree.
Speaker 2: The guy's tired of anything peripheral, so he puts some
Speaker 2: trash in his hat.
Speaker 4: I'm tired of looking over there, that guy is saying
Speaker 4: to himself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's look at her good Halloween shirt. That's
Speaker 1: pretty good.
Speaker 2: We should tell her she's talking now she's got a
Speaker 2: we like your shirt that I noticed.
Speaker 1: There's a witch on your shirt?
Speaker 2: What should she what should she say?
Speaker 1: What if it's my broom's out again? You're just going
Speaker 1: to pitch through it.
Speaker 2: You get somewhere That might be the winner. I stopped
Speaker 2: in from and said, Oh, my broom's out of gas.
Speaker 2: I love the idea of a broom needing gas.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good.
Speaker 2: See now you're writing for the host of our fifth
Speaker 2: grade show that doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: I finally I get to have a say from my
Speaker 1: fifth grade position.
Speaker 2: And that'll get the half chuckle that I need to
Speaker 2: continue to tell this joke in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: I feel like the witch should acknowledge the weirdness of
Speaker 1: you just continuing to build the scene. Right, What if
Speaker 1: I think I have it? The witch pulls up parks
Speaker 1: in front of the moon and goes and scene. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: you're just saying that. Do you want me to stop pitching? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to.
Speaker 2: I say, okay, okay when I'm seriously thinking about something, yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, about something being just okay.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, great, good, good game. I'm something else.
Speaker 2: I'm open to it.
Speaker 1: Cowboys, Oh yeah, that was that was actual h That.
Speaker 2: Was actual costumes. That was We're non cowboy.
Speaker 4: Part of town, which pulls up in front of the
Speaker 4: move and says, uh, Wicked playing now at your local theater, which.
Speaker 2: I which, by the way, I really want to see.
Speaker 1: Do you know that at the beginning I saw this
Speaker 1: on TikTok At the beginning of Wicked, there is a
Speaker 1: card that goes up that says, nobody wants to hear
Speaker 1: you singing. Sorry, that's no.
Speaker 2: It was the I mean that person shouldn't be at
Speaker 2: a full forty five degree angle.
Speaker 1: He pulled. He pulled so far into his line, he
Speaker 1: was coming into art.
Speaker 2: It was okay, it was your reaction was okay, okay.
Speaker 2: What he was doing was not open, was not That's
Speaker 2: why I'm on your side.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate.
Speaker 4: You've been on my side since the bad pitch has started,
Speaker 4: and you're continuing through me, putting you into physical danger.
Speaker 2: So what did the cards say at the beginning of Wicked?
Speaker 1: The movie? Basically, do not sing along with this movie.
Speaker 1: No one wants to hear it.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 1: Finally, now they need to figure out a way to
Speaker 1: put that in front of concerts and live shows. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy the way people do that these days.
Speaker 2: You know What's I'm going to go see? And I'm
Speaker 2: not doing it jokingly. There is a musical, Back to
Speaker 2: the Future Musical, and I really want to see it.
Speaker 2: Not because that's a movie that helped form my personality
Speaker 2: and got me started with skateboarding, but because I imagine,
Speaker 2: much like Ghosts of the Musical, which I did go
Speaker 2: to as a joke, right, what's blown away by the
Speaker 2: practical stage effects projecting images on a mesh screen. I
Speaker 2: was blown away. So the Back to the Future version,
Speaker 2: I there's gonna be flames behind the DeLorean, there's gonna
Speaker 2: be a DeLorean.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a real tree he falls out of.
Speaker 2: There is so many special effects in that movie that
Speaker 2: we're groundbreaking. I really want to see what they do
Speaker 2: for a live stage.
Speaker 4: And you're right, I think like, because it's like a
Speaker 4: feature film that they had to buy the rights to,
Speaker 4: there must be a big budget, yeah that they're like, oh,
Speaker 4: yeah this, people will come to this.
Speaker 1: You gotta go, you got to invest. Yes, people will come.
Speaker 2: And it is a musical. So I'm of course not
Speaker 2: going for uh you know, sce scenes from that movie
Speaker 2: that I always felt like should have been a song
Speaker 2: like what uh no I did there? I do not
Speaker 2: want to hear that. I'm actually gonna plug my ear
Speaker 2: unless it's Lewis in the news. I ain't listening to
Speaker 2: the music. Oh, I just want to see the visuals. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going for the visuals of this music.
Speaker 1: My hands disappearing something like that. Yes, that's what you
Speaker 1: do want to hear.
Speaker 2: I only partially see my brother in this photo.
Speaker 1: I didn't like him anyway, Doc, where are you? I
Speaker 1: have to get to school.
Speaker 2: Look a guitar ramp. I guess I'll play a tool.
Speaker 2: The tool is made for music, and I'd like to
Speaker 2: pluck the strings. Watch me dance, Watch me dance, watch
Speaker 2: me dance and sing? Yes, Hey, how's that? It was
Speaker 2: fucking great. Thanks. I hope I don't get sued.
Speaker 1: You can't because that was your original creation.
Speaker 2: Jim clear it I've invented at skateboard because it's nineteen
Speaker 2: fifty five.
Speaker 1: Look out, guys, here's a truck full of poop. When
Speaker 1: at any time did they carry around that much manure? Never? Never?
Speaker 2: Never? And it wasn't real poop, by the way.
Speaker 1: Oh good to know. Yeah, it was all oreos.
Speaker 2: I uh. The speaking of musical comedy, who's the guy
Speaker 2: that played Biff? He's a comp to Tom Tom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen this song you're about to talk about,
Speaker 1: and I love it.
Speaker 2: You know he does guitar comedy. I know he's and
Speaker 2: he does have a song where he sings about all
Speaker 2: the questions people ask, I know regarding you.
Speaker 1: That's what you know.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about. I thought you were
Speaker 2: just saying, yes, I know there's a guy named Tom. Yes,
Speaker 2: I know he does guitar comedy. No, yes, I know
Speaker 2: Tom Wilson.
Speaker 1: It's such a funny song.
Speaker 2: Here's something you might not know. He is a great
Speaker 2: like pop artist. He paints old toys photo realistically and
Speaker 2: he's a very good painter.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know that and I will give you that.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you. Go to Tom Wilson art dot com.
Speaker 2: I think which is true?
Speaker 1: Which is true? It could be true?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, that's I'm very excited.
Speaker 1: I love that song. It's so funny and the way
Speaker 1: he does it is so funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't remember, and I'm you know, I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna sing it. But it is a list of questions
Speaker 2: people ask you. Yeah, yeah, it's so funny. One of
Speaker 2: them is that real poop, which is why I brought
Speaker 2: it up, because it's part of the song and it's
Speaker 2: a dumb question.
Speaker 1: I feel like that video actually went viral because that
Speaker 1: song is so good. So I bet you, like a
Speaker 1: lot of people know what we're talking about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1: It's just such a good, little succinct clip, like two
Speaker 1: minute comedy clip.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I gotta come up with more of those.
Speaker 1: Well when I nail this witch line?
Speaker 2: Yeah, which, which, so I should probably bring a camera tonight.
Speaker 2: You think it's ready to be recorded for sure, for
Speaker 2: all time and permanently placed on the internet.
Speaker 1: Seems like it.
Speaker 4: What if the witch pulls up parks in front of
Speaker 4: the moon and goes, hey, wrap it up. Oh, right,
Speaker 4: talking about the whole story you've been telling you, Yeah,
Speaker 4: what if.
Speaker 2: The witch just gives me the light?
Speaker 1: Yeah, instead of a line, that's what you say, what
Speaker 1: if and the light is the moon?
Speaker 2: I have the house and the house being outdoors at
Speaker 2: Permanent records. Okay, do a spotlight on my face, and
Speaker 2: suddenly we're like, oh, that is the moon. This is amazing.
Speaker 1: People think the real moonas come to the show, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's the one that plays piano from the
Speaker 2: McDonald's plans.
Speaker 1: That guy, Yes, truly a real talent on the level
Speaker 1: with Tom Wilson.
Speaker 2: Yes, I believe it is Wilson a relation to any
Speaker 2: of the Beach Boys.
Speaker 4: As far as I know, as far as I know,
Speaker 4: as far as you know. Wait a second, is that
Speaker 4: the same guy that was in mind Hunter? Did you
Speaker 4: ever watch mind Hunter? The Story the True Story of
Speaker 4: the FBI guys.
Speaker 1: That Yes, Yes, it's great.
Speaker 2: The Tom Wilson looking guy that's in it. Oh that's
Speaker 2: not Tom, no, no, but he it's got a similar.
Speaker 4: Cut of jib, Yes, similar cut of jib crew cut.
Speaker 4: And also also an actor that's been around for a while.
Speaker 2: That's one of those shows where you're like, oh, they'll
Speaker 2: continue with this, right, it's wildly popular. Why not?
Speaker 1: Nope, No, we're done two seasons.
Speaker 4: And then everyone's like, ooh, the season three is going
Speaker 4: to be incredible, and they're like, nope, we don't see
Speaker 4: the value in making that.
Speaker 1: Well, you're fools.
Speaker 2: Oh look this guy is coming to pick up his
Speaker 2: jug of p No, now this is mine. Chips it up,
Speaker 2: pretending you.
Speaker 1: Don't see it mine. Okay.
Speaker 4: There was a thing I saw on TikTok that was
Speaker 4: kind of amazing. It was a guy saying I need
Speaker 4: to solve a mystery in my neighborhood. There was an
Speaker 4: electrical box, so you know, like the free standing shild box,
Speaker 4: and somebody had been putting individual like orange juice containers
Speaker 4: of pea on top of it, and there was like
Speaker 4: twelve and then they would disappear and then they'd start again,
Speaker 4: and this guy was like, how is this happening?
Speaker 1: He would drive by and see it over like months
Speaker 1: at a time. So he started to make this video
Speaker 1: of like, I don't know, I don't know what to like.
Speaker 1: This is so gross and I'm not sure how they're
Speaker 1: getting here and I'm not sure how they're going away,
Speaker 1: but I want to solve this mystery, and of course
Speaker 1: he solves the mystery of them going away where it's
Speaker 1: the city coming and having to dispose of them, which
Speaker 1: is disgusting, and then he set up like a hidden
Speaker 1: camera to see if he could catch the person who
Speaker 1: was putting them on top of the box.
Speaker 2: It sounds like Christian Duguet's Valley Heat podcast, Yes, something
Speaker 2: that he would be reporting.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy, and I didn't get to see like
Speaker 1: how it resolved.
Speaker 2: It's funny because because you just said, people are going
Speaker 2: to probably know what we're talking about, because I do.
Speaker 2: I watched the first few seconds of that and then
Speaker 2: I just cry a watching it because I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not in a Jars of Pea mood right now,
Speaker 2: and so I don't know how it ended.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I thought they tried to trick me into
Speaker 1: going to there, but I'm going over here. Oh but
Speaker 1: they did. Oh, they did trick you, And I have
Speaker 1: to go back out.
Speaker 2: Do you want me to get out and move that cone? No.
Speaker 2: I brought a Neon orange vest.
Speaker 1: Just in chase. Oh don't that city worker is rerouting
Speaker 1: our drive through system.
Speaker 2: When I first started skating at Costco, and they weren't.
Speaker 2: Now they love us there. They wave high, they wave hello,
Speaker 2: they wave goodbye, they know our names, they're sweet.
Speaker 1: What about in between waves?
Speaker 2: In between waves, they're like, grow up, get a job,
Speaker 2: stuff like that. But they're right, I need to do both.
Speaker 2: I have orange cones for when the cars start to come,
Speaker 2: just to keep people from parking where we skate, and
Speaker 2: an orange vest just in case it came to that,
Speaker 2: so it looks like I work for the city. It's
Speaker 2: a great way for no one to ever question what
Speaker 2: you're doing.
Speaker 1: Do you see what's happening right now?
Speaker 2: It is bizarre and I'm very confused because and so
Speaker 2: is that person. How did they even get in there?
Speaker 2: What is happening?
Speaker 1: I feel like, uh, somebody with a reflective vest who
Speaker 1: shouldn't be wearing it. Chris tricked me, you're right, that's
Speaker 1: why I thought of that. It's there, it's over there.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's starting to Yeah, we're starting to see it now,
Speaker 2: so sorry, Well, we're trying very hard to go to
Speaker 2: Wendy's drive through for the SpongeBob SquarePants Crabby Patty. Is
Speaker 2: that what it's called?
Speaker 1: Yes, that's correct.
Speaker 2: Okay, very excited, what a cliffhanger for people to have
Speaker 2: to tune in for the next one to listen to us. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is very exciting. This is like an episode of
Speaker 2: a sitcom where it's serious and they don't play the
Speaker 2: theme song at the end. Yeah, because we want to
Speaker 2: keep you on your toes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they play the done on Yeah.
Speaker 2: The slow daunting version.
Speaker 1: Yes, I like that.
Speaker 2: We're going to order the Krabby patties and come next
Speaker 2: week with your ears to hear how they tasted. You're
Speaker 2: gonna love, You're gonna you're gonna love us describing our
Speaker 2: senses of tastes.
Speaker 1: Okay, so is this Krabby Patty just a hamburger like normal?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm a little well, we don't know until next
Speaker 2: week if it's just a hamburger or actually made of
Speaker 2: real dungeonese main crab.
Speaker 1: The witch pulls up and goes, I thought I was
Speaker 1: a rich I thought I was a crabby Patty.
Speaker 2: And then another witch pulls up and said, you are Patty.
Speaker 1: And then a third witch pulls up.
Speaker 4: He's like, actually, now I'm gonna sue you for IPEd Frenchman, and.
Speaker 1: Then they go, well, don't the three of us go
Speaker 1: back to Eastwick. Okay, here we go, Here we go.
Speaker 2: Well, you're gonna have to tune in to see how
Speaker 2: this all tastes. Oh, it'll be the first thing we me.
Speaker 2: My god, people will be how are you gonna how
Speaker 2: are you going to handle a whole week?
Speaker 1: Not knowing they're the nail biting the the will they
Speaker 1: ever find a line for the Witch? Does Karen think
Speaker 1: she's actually a comedy writer? After that pathetic showing?
Speaker 2: You did great? But these people are going to be
Speaker 2: They're in for a week. Some of you are going
Speaker 2: to be in straight jackets by the end. It's going
Speaker 2: to drive you crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Not knowing what we suggest and we don't work for
Speaker 4: Wendy's is you go try your own and then we
Speaker 4: do a compare and contrast.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, although no pressure because that's kind of weird.
Speaker 2: I don't mean to do a common Yeah, and whatever
Speaker 2: your opinions are, we won't hear them.
Speaker 1: Yes, and we don't care.
Speaker 2: That's that's what we should leave on.
Speaker 1: We don't care. You've been listening to do you Need
Speaker 1: to Ride? You are?
Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 2: Mixed by Edson Choy.
Speaker 1: Our talent booker is Patrick Kotner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgareth.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 4: podcast That's d y nar Podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh, You're welcome.