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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never

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Speaker 1: know it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: You never know.

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Speaker 3: Buckele levenhold on type be guide it for you here

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Speaker 3: it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject. Real men can cry, but there's

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Speaker 1: a limit. Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband and I had

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Speaker 1: a long distance relationship for two years, and we had

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Speaker 1: never spent over two weeks together until we got married.

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Speaker 1: It was overwhelming for me to have a man around

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Speaker 1: full time, and when I asked him for my own

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Speaker 1: space in his home, he got sad. I'm twenty six

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Speaker 1: and I went straight from my parents' house to my

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Speaker 1: husband's house. My mom said, since he's thirty two years old,

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Speaker 1: he should be patient with me because a lot of

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Speaker 1: things are new to me right now. He's not patient

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Speaker 1: or understanding, and he doesn't deal with things in a

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Speaker 1: manly way. In my opinion. For example, I got some

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Speaker 1: tea last Sunday and sat on the back patio enjoying

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Speaker 1: the cool air, and I called my best girlfriend to

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Speaker 1: catch up. He came out and he started crying, saying

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Speaker 1: that he can't believe I'd rather spend quality time with

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend than talking to him. I got off the

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Speaker 1: phone and I went in and sat on the couch

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Speaker 1: while he watched football. I was very weirded out by

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Speaker 1: what he did, and it's not the first time he's

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Speaker 1: done that, so I need to know what's wrong with him.

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Speaker 1: The crying after intimacy is the worst, and I don't

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Speaker 1: know how to console him. At first, I thought I

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Speaker 1: had heard him, but he said he just can't believe

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Speaker 1: he bagged a beauty like me. Is it low self

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Speaker 1: esteem or what? Let's say, for instance, I pick up

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Speaker 1: a meal for him that he's been wanting, he will

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Speaker 1: hug me and cry like I bought him a Rolex

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Speaker 1: or something. I'm telling you something is not right with him.

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Speaker 1: I'm scared to talk to any of my close friends

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Speaker 1: about him because they will never look at him the

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Speaker 1: same way and the jokes will never be never ending.

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Speaker 1: I do think it's healthy for a grown man to cry,

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Speaker 1: But why is he so emotional all the time? Please help?

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Speaker 1: I'm with you. Although I haven't seen it a lot

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Speaker 1: in my lifetime, I do think it can be healthy

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Speaker 1: for a man to cry. It's more acceptable in this

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Speaker 1: society for a woman to cry. But who wants to

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Speaker 1: see a woman who cries all the time either. In

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Speaker 1: your case, the question is why is he crying? We

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Speaker 1: don't know the answer to that. Because you brought him

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Speaker 1: some food. You brought him some food, he started crying.

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Speaker 1: Because you called your best friend when you were out

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Speaker 1: on the patio with a glass of tea. Because you're

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Speaker 1: having sex, he cries. All of this is very strange.

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Speaker 1: I guess you didn't know it before you married him,

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Speaker 1: since you guys didn't live together, so this is all

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Speaker 1: a surprise to you. I have to agree with you

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Speaker 1: about this. With you not talking to your friends, they

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Speaker 1: won't understand and they will clown him. If anything, you

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Speaker 1: should try a therapist or a marriage counselor or something.

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Speaker 1: You have to tell your husband how you feel and

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Speaker 1: try to get him to agree to get some kind

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Speaker 1: of help to find out what's wrong, because you don't

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Speaker 1: want to start looking at him. As unmanly for crying

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Speaker 1: all the time and lose respect for him. I have

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Speaker 1: no idea what he's crying for, and you don't either,

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Speaker 1: So try and get some help for him, Steve, ain't.

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Speaker 4: No help for him. Let me straighten this out for you.

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Speaker 4: ILL know dudes like this, I know one just like this,

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Speaker 4: And you ain't going to therapy and fix this.

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Speaker 2: You're not.

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Speaker 4: Ain't for therapy. You know you ain't finna stop this.

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Speaker 4: Ain't nobody fins find he ain't had no deep seated

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Speaker 4: problems in his childhood or nothing. I just get to

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Speaker 4: what's really wrong right here in a minute. Y'all had

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Speaker 4: a long dist relationship for two years and you never

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Speaker 4: spent two weeks together.

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Speaker 2: Now you have.

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Speaker 4: Married the man and moved in. Now all held him news.

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Speaker 4: So now you told him, since you have twenty six

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Speaker 4: and you had moved in directly with him, that you

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Speaker 4: wanted to have your own space, and your mom said

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Speaker 4: he should give it to you because he's thirty two

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Speaker 4: and he should be patient or understanding. Then you said,

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Speaker 4: he don't deal with things in a manly way. Folks,

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Speaker 4: let me tell you something. When your woman types, my

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Speaker 4: man does not deal with things in a manly way.

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Speaker 4: That is because she has had another view of manhood

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Speaker 4: or is expecting a different reaction or behavior of a

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Speaker 4: man that you're not doing. And once a woman has

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Speaker 4: that viewpoint of view, this marriage is heading towards the

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Speaker 4: end because the things you are expecting from him, he

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Speaker 4: is not going to be able to deliver. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 4: we about to get to it in a minute now.

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Speaker 4: When I say what I got to say, don't nobody

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Speaker 4: say nothing to me because she wrote me with the

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Speaker 4: problem and I have to tell you what.

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Speaker 2: Your man's problem is.

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Speaker 4: So, for example, you got some tea last Sunday, you

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Speaker 4: set out on the back Patty Old Patty and joined

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Speaker 4: the cool app, and you call your girlfriend to catch up.

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Speaker 2: He came out and he started crying.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe you would rather spend your time with

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Speaker 3: your girlfriend there to do to be talk ay, tell me,

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Speaker 3: And that's why I'm out here crying.

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Speaker 2: Look at you by them. I know she looked up

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Speaker 2: in him and going, what is wrong with your podcasts?

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Speaker 2: I know because see women Women Today self, what is

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Speaker 2: wrong with your podcast?

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Speaker 4: I know you ain't okay crying because I'm talking on

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Speaker 4: the phone. So she got off the phone and went

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Speaker 4: and sat on the couch.

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Speaker 2: Why he watched football.

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Speaker 4: Now, you say you was very weirded out by what

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Speaker 4: he did, but that ain't the first time he done that.

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Speaker 2: It's to crying after intimacy. That's the worst.

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Speaker 4: I don't know how to console him.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand that either.

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Speaker 4: Not crying after sick, crying during six I've seen that happen.

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Speaker 2: I've cried, okay, Oh, I've.

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Speaker 4: Had something so good that tears have run down my face.

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Speaker 4: I've had okay, hold on, But afterwards.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what we're still crying.

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Speaker 1: For after hold that thought. Steve, we'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of your response coming up at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter subject real men can cry,

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Speaker 1: but there's a limit. We'll get back into it right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening hard Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is real men

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Speaker 1: can cry, but there's a limit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, she'dne married this man that cried a loud

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Speaker 4: and she don't know what to do. He thirty two,

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Speaker 4: she twenty six, and one time she was out on

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Speaker 4: the back patio having a hot cup of tea and

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Speaker 4: she called her girlfriend. Well, Precious came outside and saw

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Speaker 4: her having the tea talking her girlfriend and just started crying,

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Speaker 4: to you out here talking on them. I ain't watching

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Speaker 4: the game out I said, you are visits till your

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Speaker 4: man with me. And then she looked up and said

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Speaker 4: under her breath, what is she your punker ass talking about?

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Speaker 4: And she said, well, baby, I was just out here

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Speaker 4: talking to my friend, so it kind of weird a mouth.

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Speaker 4: So she went inside to watch football, set on the

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Speaker 4: couch next to him. She was kind of weird about that,

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Speaker 4: and she didn't know what to do, but that ain't

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Speaker 4: the first time. Then she said, it's to crying after intimacy.

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Speaker 2: That is the worst. And I don't know how to

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Speaker 2: console him.

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Speaker 4: At first I thought I had hurt him, had put

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Speaker 4: it on it to where you had caused him some pain.

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Speaker 4: But he said he just can't believe he bagged the

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Speaker 4: beauty like me. He too, Damn, he cried too much.

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Speaker 4: You don't cry after intimacy. You can cry during intimacy.

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Speaker 4: Like I said on my last break, I've had something

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Speaker 4: so good that tears have run down my face before.

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Speaker 4: But I'm just I know you can cry during intimacy,

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Speaker 4: but afterwards, I don't know how.

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Speaker 2: Because especially when you get to that moment that you

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Speaker 2: all work.

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Speaker 4: For, that climactic moment of excitement, there is no crying

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Speaker 4: now because they feel like you're getting electrocuted.

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Speaker 2: So it's kind of hard.

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Speaker 4: Hard to cry when you're getting electrocuted. You know, you

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Speaker 4: holler and that, you know, half stand up on the

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Speaker 4: back of your neck. I don't even have had more

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Speaker 4: and this you stand there and it's just shocking. But

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Speaker 4: that's what I know, what the really So it's no

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Speaker 4: self esteem of what to say. For an instance, I

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Speaker 4: pick up a meal for him that he been wanting,

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Speaker 4: he will hug me and cry like I bought him

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Speaker 4: a Rolex or something.

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Speaker 2: Chinese food. How did you know? I jail what I wanted?

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Speaker 2: Some shrip right right everything? Oh god, I can't believe you,

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Speaker 2: beautiful hair, you spat you about this, Oh god, this size.

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Speaker 4: I was like, sons man, let me tell you something, lady,

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Speaker 4: you got to divorce this man because this ain't finna

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Speaker 4: get no better.

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Speaker 2: It's no counseling for him.

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Speaker 4: You can't tell this to your friends because every time

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Speaker 4: they see him, they gonna see prescious coming.

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Speaker 2: Listen to me.

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Speaker 4: First of all, this ain't crying. This is whiney. You're

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Speaker 4: married to a whiner. Now it has turned into tears

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Speaker 4: because he whins so convincingly to himself. He hurts himself.

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Speaker 4: Your man is soft. He soften and medicated. Cot See,

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Speaker 4: you can be emotional and you can be sensitive. You

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Speaker 4: can't be both, bro, He not gonna recover from this.

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Speaker 4: I mean, he was the little kid that remember the

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Speaker 4: song we used to sing when we were a little

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Speaker 4: Cry baby cry, whype you weeping eyes. Put your hand

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Speaker 4: on your hip and let your backbone slip. All shake

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Speaker 4: it to the east, All, shake it to the west,

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Speaker 4: shake it to the very one that you love the best. Hey,

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Speaker 4: cry baby cry. Yeah, that's him, except he thirty two.

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Speaker 4: He too soft, man. I don't know what to tell you.

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Speaker 4: He just soft. This ain't gonna work. He gonna do

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Speaker 4: it in front of the people now. I don't know

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Speaker 4: what quality he had the made you marry him.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: He could be good in a lot of areas because

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Speaker 4: he's obviously a sensitive man.

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Speaker 2: And it's okay to be a sensitive man.

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Speaker 1: Cry.

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Speaker 2: It's okay to cry.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm a sensitive man because I'm sensitive to people.

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Speaker 4: But I'm not an emotional man. I don't fall apart,

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Speaker 4: I don't come apart. I handle stress extremely well. I

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Speaker 4: take more than the average person is willing to take.

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Speaker 4: I know how to get in the fox hole and fight.

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Speaker 4: I come upout it. I got a lot of dog

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Speaker 4: in me. I'm a sensitive man. I'm sensitive to people.

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Speaker 4: But you can't be sensitive and emotional because now you're

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Speaker 4: just sitting up for some of you know, your punk

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Speaker 4: ass just crying on the turn, and that's what it is.

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Speaker 4: And he gonna do it in front of some people.

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Speaker 4: Y'all gonna be sitting up at dinner and he gonna

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Speaker 4: bite down into one of them dishes that he just loved.

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Speaker 5: Oh love not many God, I love to ask for tatoes, sir, love.

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Speaker 2: Juice at turkey. Yeah see Thanksgiving, it's gonna have all

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Speaker 2: the food.

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Speaker 4: And don't cat this. Don't kill your little sopho man

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Speaker 4: around your uncle. I'm telling you this right now. Don't

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Speaker 4: take him over that run Uncle jun Bug and Uncle

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Speaker 4: Earl O'Neil, because he not buying none of this. Hey man,

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Speaker 4: All right, yeah you got a little you got some

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Speaker 4: you're married to some medicated cotton.

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Speaker 2: I suggest you get out because he ain't gonna tough

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Speaker 2: enough no time soon Thanksgiving. He gonna cry in front

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Speaker 2: of your uncles and they gonna they're gonna ruin.

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Speaker 1: It at Steve Barb FM on Instagram and Facebook, and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Litter podcast on the iHeartRadio app

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Speaker 1: for it never sounded so good. You can download it

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Speaker 1: today now. Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,

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Speaker 1: it's Junior with Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Dave Harvey Morning Show