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Speaker 1: Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebina, a space where no

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Speaker 1: question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views

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Speaker 1: shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.

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Speaker 1: From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times

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Speaker 1: don't last, but professional homegirls do enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is a vice.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Pretty Private Inhagara. Ebine here, and I

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Speaker 2: hope all is cute. Now today, we're just gonna jump

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Speaker 2: right into Part two. Okay, my guest is taking us

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Speaker 2: even deeper into her story, being born into a sex cult,

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Speaker 2: going through a whole pregnancy while family member says she

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Speaker 2: was making it up, and she even shared details on

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Speaker 2: being sent to a mental institution. And then get this,

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Speaker 2: she finally finds her daughter and what she discovers, y'all,

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Speaker 2: is things no one could have prepared her for. You know,

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Speaker 2: I talked to a lot of people on this show,

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Speaker 2: and I gotta tell you, this is by far the

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Speaker 2: most shocking story I ever heard. So get comfortable, stay tuned,

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Speaker 2: and let's get ready because I was born into a

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Speaker 2: sex cult. Part two starts now back in the day

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Speaker 2: when I was growing up, Like we used to be

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Speaker 2: able to spend a night at the teacher's house. Like

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Speaker 2: you can't do that now, Like it ain't no sleepover

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Speaker 2: like you used.

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Speaker 3: To be able to, like go to your coach house

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Speaker 3: and stay over the girl. You can't do that no more.

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Speaker 2: You can't do that, Like you gotta have a whole

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Speaker 2: background check on the entire family. Like, yeah, moms are

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Speaker 2: so different.

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Speaker 3: I'd rather them come up in my house and I'll

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Speaker 3: be the soccer mom. I'll be hang out spot, just

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Speaker 3: so I know what y'all first, because.

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Speaker 2: I know me girl, okay, right, And then there was

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Speaker 2: even another situation where your aunt was also sexually abusing you.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, Yeah, So my mom asked her to watch us

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Speaker 3: while she went to work, and she would say, let's

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Speaker 3: play a game. Let's play a game, wait till my

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Speaker 3: mom leaves. And my sister would cry because she would

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Speaker 3: tell my sister, you know, you can't play the game,

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Speaker 3: And so she would sit in front of the door

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Speaker 3: and cry. And the first time she did that, I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: t TV show, Like I'm excited, you know, until I

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Speaker 3: she started to molest me, which is pushed my face

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Speaker 3: in her vagina, and at first I'm just like, you know,

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Speaker 3: what is this. I'm like wiping my face. I'm not

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Speaker 3: understanding what's right. And then she continued to do it,

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Speaker 3: and then I will cry and move and I would

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Speaker 3: tell her I don't want to play the game to

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Speaker 3: TV show, I don't want to play the game like

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Speaker 3: and I do if I can recall, right, I do

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Speaker 3: think that my mom ended up finding out about that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you know what I now that

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking about it. As you know, they were always

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Speaker 3: arguing over my grandfather, my mom. He kicked us out.

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Speaker 3: He was dating my grand I mean, my my right,

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Speaker 3: So when she would watch us, my mom started to have,

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Speaker 3: you know, have relationships with my grandfather again after he

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Speaker 3: raped my sister and she left her mhm vast new

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Speaker 3: juice on my face and let it dry. When my

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Speaker 3: mom picked me up, she said, I told you to stop,

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Speaker 3: my man.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And all of this sounds like something off a movie,

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Speaker 3: something crazy, I know, but it's reality.

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Speaker 2: And I think that when you shared the story about

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Speaker 2: what happened to your older sister, and like you know,

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Speaker 2: you was very detailed and you was talking about how

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Speaker 2: your grandma was just crying stuff, and you were trying

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Speaker 2: to figure out how to open a door. I wanted

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Speaker 2: thought by then that your mom like something with a click.

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Speaker 3: You know, there was times like okay, I will say

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Speaker 3: when we were at home, there would have been times

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Speaker 3: so my mom would say, you know, because my heart

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Speaker 3: and my dad came from two different worlds that she

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Speaker 3: described it to me. You know, my dad's mom had

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Speaker 3: five kids by the time she was twenty five, you know,

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Speaker 3: and my mom come from a two parent household. She

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Speaker 3: grew up in Whitehall, Michigan, which is a town that

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Speaker 3: is like very everybody got a tractor, it's fine, yeah,

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Speaker 3: on the outskirts. On the outskirts went to a predominantly

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Speaker 3: white school. You know, my dad has a whole different story.

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Speaker 3: So I think they exchanged I guess wisdom in what

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Speaker 3: it was at that age for them. You know, he

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Speaker 3: gave her some street and she gave him some upright,

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Speaker 3: if that makes sense. And I think that they loved

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Speaker 3: each other because they were so different. That's how she

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Speaker 3: described it to me. And I think he gave her strength.

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Speaker 3: I think he helped her realize who she was because

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Speaker 3: she and she told me he thought she was so beautiful.

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Speaker 3: He thought she was gorgeous, and so when she shared

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Speaker 3: things with him, he told her that he was going

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Speaker 3: to protect her and be there for her. And when

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Speaker 3: he died, and then she because when she got pregnant

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Speaker 3: and it was a girl, and she said, I wasn't

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Speaker 3: going to keep her. I told her dad, I was

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Speaker 3: not going to keep her because I was nervous. I

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Speaker 3: didn't want things to happen to her. And he said, hey,

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Speaker 3: my baby, you know, ain't nothing gonna happen to my baby.

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Speaker 3: We're only eighteen months apart. So she get pregnant, right,

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Speaker 3: you know, back to back, and then eight months after

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Speaker 3: she has me, he dies. So it's not like my

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Speaker 3: dad and my grandfather was you know, kubai eyeing in

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Speaker 3: the kitchen. No, they didn't get along. They weren't. They

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Speaker 3: didn't really talk at all because my dad seeing him

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Speaker 3: for who he was.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that the reason why your mom allowed

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Speaker 2: this to happen is because you are a physical manifestation

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Speaker 2: of the life she thought she would have had with

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Speaker 2: your father.

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Speaker 3: I think there was some jealousy there. I think there.

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Speaker 3: I think that my mom was trained to depend on someone.

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Speaker 3: I think she learned how to be independent on her own.

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Speaker 3: But that is how that is why my grandmother is

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Speaker 3: still with my grandfather for security. Right. So I think

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Speaker 3: maybe that's why she stayed because, you know, stayed in

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Speaker 3: the situation because she was young with two kids, you know,

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Speaker 3: and she never really had to he was teaching her

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Speaker 3: some hustle. She didn't have that because she grew up

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Speaker 3: in a farmy town and went to it. She had

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Speaker 3: two parents in her home. Now I'm not saying that

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Speaker 3: makes it perfect. I'm not saying that she didn't have

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Speaker 3: things happened to her. But what I am saying when

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Speaker 3: you grow up in that way and you don't grow

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Speaker 3: up around your people, it takes the culture out of

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Speaker 3: you and you don't always handle things that maybe the

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Speaker 3: way you should. That make yeah, right.

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Speaker 2: Now, what do you remember about the day when you

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Speaker 2: found out you were pregnant.

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Speaker 3: I remember going downstairs and my mom okay, so to

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Speaker 3: give to help you understand a few things on how

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Speaker 3: I even got pregnant and all that. My period started

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Speaker 3: in fifth grade and health class at oak View Elementary

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Speaker 3: in Miss Darcy's class. I'll never forget it. All the

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Speaker 3: boys went to mister Alcorn's class. All the girls went

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Speaker 3: to her now, ask she's telling us about this, Thank

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Speaker 3: you God, because that's how I learned. My sister started

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Speaker 3: hers and my mom talked on to her clothes. They

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Speaker 3: made it seem like a bad thing. They laughed at her,

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Speaker 3: They just you know, they just made it seem like

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Speaker 3: a bad thing. The reason why is because when the

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Speaker 3: girl starts her period, you have to stop touching her, right.

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Speaker 3: But I hid mine, right, So that's how the pregnancy came.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm like, I'm not gonna tell anybody. I'm not

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Speaker 3: gonna I'm not gonna tell my mom or anybody because

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Speaker 3: I don't want them to talk about me. I don't

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Speaker 3: want you know. So I you know, if you live

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Speaker 3: in a house with women, you can start to you

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Speaker 3: recognize what they do when they're on their cycle. So

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Speaker 3: I started doing those things. And I remember I left

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Speaker 3: something in the bathroom and she's like, who's this this?

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Speaker 3: And I blamed it on my sister. But I'm not

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Speaker 3: sure if she knew it was me or not. But

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Speaker 3: so I don't think she did, because she would have

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Speaker 3: said something. She would have she knew what they were

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Speaker 3: doing when they was coming in my room, So I

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Speaker 3: think she suspected it. So anyway, one day I come

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Speaker 3: down the stairs, She's like, come here, and she's like,

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Speaker 3: come closer because I have been sleeping a lot. You know,

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Speaker 3: things start had to start changing with me. And so

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Speaker 3: she she said, I think you're pregnant. Are you pregnant?

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Speaker 3: If she kind of asked herself while asking me, like

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Speaker 3: are you pregnant? And I'm like, pregnant? Why would I

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Speaker 3: be pregnant?

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Speaker 2: Did you even understand?

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Speaker 3: No? I was, I didn't understand why she was. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I started to get weary of my mind because of

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Speaker 3: that moment, but I was, I didn't understand why she

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Speaker 3: was asking me that, because I did. I never thought

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Speaker 3: that my mom would allow someone to do that.

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Speaker 2: But did you understand at that time, like, because I

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Speaker 2: know you were young, like that having sex can lead

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Speaker 2: to pregnancy? Like nobody ever explained.

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Speaker 3: It to absolutely? Absolutely? Absolutely, And I'm I'm still very

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Speaker 3: reserved sometimes and shy, but at that time, there's no way.

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm still watching. That's so rating. You know what

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Speaker 3: I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: I'm that's what I'm saying. You're a kid.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not. I'm not even into any of that.

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Speaker 2: You know why I never thought you never thought that

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Speaker 2: you would be pregnant.

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Speaker 3: No, girl, I'm shy again. You know how he was

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Speaker 3: passing notes between classes like.

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Speaker 2: Like that's all like the psyche of a twelve year old,

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Speaker 2: Like you're sticking that, you're.

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Speaker 3: Just tired, exactly. And then we didn't even have like

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Speaker 3: Facebook or none of that back then. It was just

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Speaker 3: a social interaction at school. So I take the pregnancy test,

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Speaker 3: and now they're in a frenzy because they're like, oh

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Speaker 3: my goodness.

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Speaker 1: Why.

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Speaker 3: She's like, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you

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Speaker 3: tell me? And I'm like, because of what you did

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Speaker 3: to my sister, Like you know, I said it because

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Speaker 3: you dog like you made it seem like such a

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Speaker 3: bad team. So I'm probably at the most maybe I

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Speaker 3: don't know ninety pounds back then, right, Not sure what

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Speaker 3: what time, what how many months I was when when

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Speaker 3: she found out? I don't recall it. But at this

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Speaker 3: point she's trying to figure out what to do because

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Speaker 3: you can't take a twelve year old to an abortion

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Speaker 3: clinic to get the baby out, because you're gonna go

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Speaker 3: to jail exact dam because you're pregnant exactly, damn Sure,

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Speaker 3: can't take it to the hospital. So what are you

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Speaker 3: gonna do? There's nothing to do but to have the baby.

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Speaker 2: Wow? And were you still going to school? Like did

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Speaker 2: nobody notice that you were showing?

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Speaker 3: No? So it was every morning I would get up,

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Speaker 3: she would wrap this thick urban. It would be like

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Speaker 3: Sam wrap and then on top of that like a

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Speaker 3: thick turban kind of like what they wear on their heads.

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Speaker 3: But she would wrap it. And I was already little.

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Speaker 3: And in two thousand and five, nobody looking for a

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Speaker 3: no twelve year ord be pregnant, like that's not even

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Speaker 3: a thing, you know. So and I just I remember

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Speaker 3: just kept asking, like how do how am I pregnant?

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Speaker 3: I've never had sex before? How am I pregnant? You know?

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Speaker 3: And she's like, you know, you can't say nothing, you

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Speaker 3: can't say nothing. I'm gonna go to jail. Da da dah.

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Speaker 3: She just made it such a big deal because at first,

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Speaker 3: like we can't send her to school, like we can't

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Speaker 3: stand her to school.

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Speaker 2: But then you miss school, that'll be a whole nother

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Speaker 2: se question.

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Speaker 3: Exactly.

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Speaker 2: Godly, So she delivered a baby at the house, and

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Speaker 2: then that leads us to obg y n so when

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Speaker 2: to her got a full exam done.

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Speaker 3: She said, there's no way that you were not pregnant.

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Speaker 3: And she was like, everything that you described that you

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Speaker 3: know has happened to you. I can see the damage

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Speaker 3: in your vaginal area and your uterus. And she took it.

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Speaker 3: It was like a white stick that like a camera

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Speaker 3: and we're looking at it. And so she's like, okay,

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Speaker 3: now you have to take an FSG pregnancy test to

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Speaker 3: see if you can even have kids because of what

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Speaker 3: I see. So I got that documentation together, got the

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Speaker 3: polygraphs together, and then I went to the police because

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Speaker 3: I'm like, where the fuck is my daughter? At this point,

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Speaker 3: we know that.

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Speaker 2: I gave birth. Do you remember going birth? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, on nineteen fifty six the street in Muskegan, Michigan.

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Speaker 3: Upstairs with the room with the purple carpet if it's

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Speaker 3: still up there, Yes, in my tinker Bell room.

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Speaker 2: I did, and you gave birth. Now we a couple

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Speaker 2: of days, a couple of weeks until the pregnancy to

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Speaker 2: the baby actually being here, and then the baby just disappears,

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Speaker 2: and you know what, that's so fucking crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yo's what's crazy is I'm thinking because I don't know

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Speaker 3: if you heard me say that I had her and

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Speaker 3: she was in the middle of me and.

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Speaker 4: My mom, because your mom was hold of her right right,

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Speaker 4: And someone said I know that you probably still have

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Speaker 4: some sort of care.

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Speaker 3: She was like, because baby, your mama didn't have love

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Speaker 3: for you or that baby. She was like, your mama

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Speaker 3: was making you comfortable so they can come and take

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Speaker 3: the baby, making you feel like, oh, I care, you know,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be here for you, and then boom, you

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Speaker 3: wake up and your baby just gone. That was just

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Speaker 3: she was just making you comfortable. And so I'm like, like,

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Speaker 3: you have to understand your mom is the things that

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Speaker 3: she do and the things that she let go on.

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Speaker 3: There's no way that she has no street mind. She

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Speaker 3: know how to move, but she's doing it smart and

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Speaker 3: she used your love for her to manipulate you.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's what's gonna her exactly. She learned at a

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Speaker 2: very young age, so she oh, she ain't new to this.

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Speaker 3: She knew exactly to actsolutely.

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Speaker 2: Because the fact that she delivered a whole baby and

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Speaker 2: she not even a doctor, it's just like wow. And

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Speaker 2: then I'm assuming once you deliver the baby, you having

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Speaker 2: this baby, you go back to school like nothing happens.

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Speaker 3: And then well, I went through a hard time at first,

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Speaker 3: So my dude, I'm going through postpartument puberty at the

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Speaker 3: same time.

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Speaker 2: So your emotions of a kid is times twenty.

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Speaker 3: All over the place. And they're saying, there is no baby,

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Speaker 3: what are you talking about? So imagine someone playing and

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Speaker 3: this is the time where you are molding your human

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Speaker 3: right when it comes to everything helping them grow up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, intelligence, right.

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Speaker 3: You're playing on her mind. You're you're you're taking her

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Speaker 3: brain and poking at it.

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Speaker 2: So now that you're not on yourself, like did I

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Speaker 2: even have.

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Speaker 3: A baby exactly? So that's why I'm like, Okay, maybe

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Speaker 3: I'm tripping. I'm just gonna move on. And so that

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Speaker 3: that was easier for me to accept then to keep bothering.

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Speaker 3: And then she got to the point where she's like

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Speaker 3: screaming like you didn't have a fucking bag of you

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Speaker 3: What the fuck is you were talking about? And you

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Speaker 3: know it's going off. So you know, I just decided, okay,

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Speaker 3: maybe i'm and I didn't have a baby because they

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Speaker 3: were playing on my mind so much thinking making me

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Speaker 3: feel like I was crazy, you know, no, honey, And

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Speaker 3: then we find her moving forward?

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Speaker 2: So how did you connect with the private investigator? So

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Speaker 2: he was already wait, I know niggas listen to the

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Speaker 2: story like wait a minute. Yeah, they're like, so we

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Speaker 2: found a baby.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So he was all over the internet at first.

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Speaker 3: Well actually not really, he was. He was getting a

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Speaker 3: buzz because he is known for doing retrievals for women

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Speaker 3: in sex trafficking, and he is also known for being

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Speaker 3: a celebrity bodyguard from multiple different celebrities. I reached out

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Speaker 3: to him because I saw him. I think I saw

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Speaker 3: him on a news station and I saw him of

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Speaker 3: his interviews, and I'm like, maybe he can help me,

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Speaker 3: and so he did. First, he got like a thorough

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Speaker 3: background asked me a bunch of questions address excuse me,

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Speaker 3: addresses I remember, just a bunch of different things. And

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Speaker 3: so the background check took about two weeks. And then

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Speaker 3: he reached back out to me, and then we just

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Speaker 3: continued to get to know each other. He wanted to

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Speaker 3: know more about the story. I gave him very detailed

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Speaker 3: information and then he called me back and said, Hey,

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Speaker 3: your daughter's in Detroit. She's with two gay men, and

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Speaker 3: she's seventeen. She's if not eighteen seventeen. Yes, this is

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Speaker 3: her senior year of high school. Wait, also, so.

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Speaker 2: You also mentioned that these two gay men are also pedophiles.

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Speaker 3: From what yes, so, And what's interesting is so when

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Speaker 3: I first connected with him, my emotions were so high.

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Speaker 3: When I knew that he located her, my emotions were

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Speaker 3: so high. And He's like, listen, I don't think it's

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Speaker 3: a good thing for you to speak directly to anyone.

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Speaker 3: I think you need to have a middleman because your

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Speaker 3: emotions and you being all over the place and not

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Speaker 3: somebody ass Okay, girls, yas, I'm like, you need to

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Speaker 3: stay right. I think give me the address. I just

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Speaker 3: want the address to what she had a pull up?

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Speaker 2: What's up, y'all? It's your girl MBNA here and be

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Speaker 2: sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty

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Speaker 2: private podcasts and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube

334
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Speaker 2: channel at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to

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Speaker 2: the show. How did he find her? I mean, honest,

336
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Speaker 2: this is what he does. But like, and how do

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Speaker 2: you know that's your child?

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Speaker 3: So he works with people who works with the like

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Speaker 3: that has worked with the government. Basically, okay, he has

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Speaker 3: helped people higher up upper eachelal line, people help find

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Speaker 3: their kids. Help even if it's just like a run away,

342
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Speaker 3: like you know, I'm mad, I'm about to run away.

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Speaker 3: He's done it all, so he has a lot of

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Speaker 3: different resources and plus him being in the industry and him,

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Speaker 3: you know, having those resources has helped him a lot

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Speaker 3: as well. So I know Ronda. I think her name

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Speaker 3: is Randa. I don't know her last name, but she's

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Speaker 3: very well known on the internet for helping track women.

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Speaker 3: He works with her, and he has a whole team

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Speaker 3: that he works with that helps him. But the last

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Speaker 3: thing that needs to happen is at DNA test.

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Speaker 2: Right, And do you believe this is your child?

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Speaker 3: From what I've and I do know her name, I know,

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Speaker 3: so I haven't some things I don't put out there

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Speaker 3: to protect her situation, but from the things that I

356
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Speaker 3: do know, yes, and just to put it out there,

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Speaker 3: I think, if not anything, that her name and if

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Speaker 3: she ever hears, is that her name is so perfect

359
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Speaker 3: and it fits her, it fits her if she is

360
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Speaker 3: my daughter, if it's to perfectly, mmm, wow.

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Speaker 2: How do you think she got with the two gay dudes?

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Speaker 3: Illegal adoption? Mm hmm, I think it was some weird

363
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 3: things going on, but from my understanding, it was willingly.

364
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Speaker 3: They willingly gave her to them. It was a willing,

365
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Speaker 3: willingly thing. It wasn't something to where they took her

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Speaker 3: or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: And how does he know that they're pedophiles? I do

368
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Speaker 2: to have a record.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even get. I don't even I don't even honestly,

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Speaker 3: I don't even know. I don't know how he knows

371
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Speaker 3: for a fact that they're pedophiles. Right.

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Speaker 2: But and another thing that you haven't really touched on

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Speaker 2: is she's also a part of a Satanic church.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, it's it's overwhelming to hear that.

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Speaker 2: She's definitely covered though.

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Speaker 3: What what what it's overwhelming is I remember taking trips

377
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Speaker 3: to Detroit. I remember the church. He's like, do you

378
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 3: remember it's it's a windmill and and I started to

379
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 3: remember remember certain things, but I don't remember like being

380
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Speaker 3: like praising the devil. But I do remember little things

381
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Speaker 3: like when I told you that when they do fornicate

382
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Speaker 3: and do things, it's called indulging. And I identified that

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Speaker 3: with demonic.

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Speaker 2: They all are part of the same community exactly. Wow, wow,

385
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Speaker 2: now it makes sense.

386
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Speaker 3: Mm hmm. So That's why when I in the five

387
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Speaker 3: part series, when I say like I was being followed

388
00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 3: and was weird things going on, a lot of these

389
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 3: people aren't just people that are just not doing anything

390
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 3: with their lives. And we all know people in certain

391
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,680
Speaker 3: positions and have that have certain roles they can get

392
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 3: they can things can happen, and then not even that

393
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Speaker 3: I'm twelve, So what control do I really have of

394
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Speaker 3: a where baby goes or what happens. It's so easy

395
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Speaker 3: to run over. It was so easy to get over

396
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Speaker 3: on me when in that situation because I had no power,

397
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Speaker 3: I have no voice. And then when I do get

398
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 3: a voice, look what they're doing. If anything, you know,

399
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Speaker 3: I will be withstanding with my daughter. I would be

400
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Speaker 3: standing with my niece. I wouldn't be trying to bash,

401
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be trying to go up against her or

402
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: any of that. So I think that all of that

403
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 3: just speaks values as well.

404
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Speaker 2: So are you waiting for her to turn eighteen to

405
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: make initial contact?

406
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Speaker 3: So honestly, to be completely honest with you, all of

407
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 3: these things like the PI even keeping it going costs money,

408
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Speaker 3: and so that's one thing, and then the number two.

409
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Speaker 3: I'm in this whole from August until now, I've been

410
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 3: I transferred to TSU. So I've been trying. I've been

411
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Speaker 3: doing interviews, I've been trying to find my daughter. And

412
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Speaker 3: then I've been finding out. I think that people don't

413
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 3: understand when you when you find out things like this

414
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 3: is her name, that's a breakdown moment. That's a moment

415
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: where I'm on the floor crying. She's in a Santanic church.

416
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Speaker 3: That ain't just like, Okay, shed at satany church. No,

417
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Speaker 3: that's now my heart is broken. That's a bad day

418
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Speaker 3: for me.

419
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Speaker 2: So it's a lie.

420
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Speaker 3: It's a lie. And so it's been So what I've

421
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 3: been trying to do is I told myself, I'm gonna

422
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Speaker 3: get through this school year. I'm gonna let her finish

423
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 3: her senior year and then we're gonna come back to this.

424
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Speaker 3: Because I wasn't doing good in school. It was affecting me.

425
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Speaker 3: And I'm like you yeah, and I'm like how I

426
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 3: everything can be going wrong, and the things that can

427
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 3: go right are the things that need to go right,

428
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 3: especially those things that are gonna put me in positions later, right,

429
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Speaker 3: Me being depressed, me being sad, me trying to find

430
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 3: my daughter, is one thing, but I have to be

431
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 3: able to show her something. I have to be able

432
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Speaker 3: to set an example for her. And I can't just

433
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 3: say at fuck school because that's what I wanted to do.

434
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 3: I was on my mind, was on a whole different path.

435
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 3: But this second semester, I'm like, I had to buckle down.

436
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I can't put all my focus there

437
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 3: right now.

438
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 2: You know, I'm a nephew with some people. Please, Yeah,

439
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna connect you with some people, and I'm gonna

440
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 2: also connect you with my therapist. And even though I'm

441
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 2: not a fan of these, I do believe in certain

442
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 2: cases like this is necessary. You need to start a

443
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 2: go fund me account.

444
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 3: That's what everyone keeps saying.

445
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: Oh baby, if I wish you I would have been

446
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 2: had that go for me account ready. I'm telling you

447
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 2: all this attention support that you're receiving, you need as

448
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 2: much support and resources as possible. So by the time

449
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 2: it's coming out when I'm gonna give your hands up,

450
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 2: you need to have that account ready.

451
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 3: Oh I am, yes, I don't know today.

452
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 2: You need to have it ready to tell you you

453
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 2: can't do this by yourself. You need your community to

454
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 2: step up and support you absolutely, because now you have

455
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 2: a bigger family that's willing to be there for you.

456
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and that makes me so happy. That is one

457
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 3: of the joys. You know. I was nervous about saying

458
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,719
Speaker 3: all of this, and to be honest with you, I

459
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 3: started my YouTube channel. Yeah, and I've always wanted a

460
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 3: YouTube channel. I've always wanted wanted the YouTube channel. And

461
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 3: my first video was about my father. It's about not

462
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 3: having a father growing up. And I wanted my first

463
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 3: video to be have substance to me about something. And

464
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 3: what inspired me was my hometown, which is Inskige in Michigan.

465
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 3: And they inspired me.

466
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, sout out the.

467
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 3: They inspired me because it was a lot of killing

468
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 3: going on in my hometown, a lot of black young

469
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 3: kids with Diane and I'm like, people not even realizing

470
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 3: what they doing to these little girls. You know, little

471
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:11,479
Speaker 3: girls without fathers are not protected, you know. And so

472
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 3: I was so nervous and so shy. And there was

473
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 3: actually another YouTuber who like I was like, Oh, I'm

474
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 3: not going to do this, and he's like, no, you

475
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 3: need to pick the camera up.

476
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 2: You need to do this, I'm telling you.

477
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 3: And so shout out to Joe t. Baker because he's

478
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 3: one of the one of the YouTubers he does stories

479
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 3: and also if you haven't checked out Traps, go check

480
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 3: out Traps. He has a series on two B. But yes,

481
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 3: he was like, you should just do it, just do it,

482
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 3: pick it up. And I was like, I was trying

483
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 3: to find my niche and he was like, just post

484
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: a bunch of different videos and see what people like

485
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 3: want from you. And so yes, So I continue to

486
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 3: do that, and I'm happy I did. And I'm happy

487
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: I say consistent, and I wasn't even as consistent as

488
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 3: I wanted to be, but I'm happy that I stayed

489
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 3: the course because if I just gave up, I would

490
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 3: be talking to you right now because my story would

491
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 3: have never gotten out there.

492
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

493
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 3: So I just want to say to any black queen,

494
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: whatever it is that you want to do is started.

495
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 3: You know, do it.

496
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 4: You know.

497
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: The only thing can happen is the lesson, because failure

498
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 3: is just the lesson and it's not doesn't mean you

499
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 3: have to give up.

500
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 2: If your daughter was listening to this episode right now,

501
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 2: what do you want her to take away from from

502
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 2: y'all story? Because she is a part of your story.

503
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: Yes, oh my daughter was listening to her right now,

504
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 3: listening to me right now. I would tell her that

505
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 3: I love her. I would tell her that I am

506
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 3: fighting for her. I would tell her that I'm never

507
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 3: gonna stop fighting for her, and that everything that even

508
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 3: when she feels like maybe that I've forgotten or I'm

509
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 3: not focused on her, everything that I do is for

510
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 3: her and I can't wait to see her and that

511
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 3: she's beautiful and hold her head high. Yeah.

512
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 2: Do you ever think about when the relation, when the

513
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 2: relationship starts, that it may be triggering for you.

514
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 3: I've thought about that a lot. I think that it

515
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 3: won't be triggering for me. I think it will be

516
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 3: eye opening, and I think it will be a joy.

517
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 3: I'm so I don't want to go into the relationship

518
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 3: sad or like, oh you know this happened to us

519
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 3: and you're we are so, we are worriers. We are survive.

520
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 2: What am we gonna do is survive and fight?

521
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 3: Okay, because one thing about it and two things for sure,

522
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 3: you were born at home. You didn't have to survive either,

523
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 3: so you strong. You are strong. So if you listen

524
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: to this, you got my book, my blood, and you

525
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: you strong.

526
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, what's your relationship like with your mind

527
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: and your body today after everything you endure. Because I can,

528
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 2: I feel like and you obviously you gonna correct me,

529
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 2: but I can only imagine how challenging it may be

530
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 2: for you to navigate being intimate with other people.

531
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: It has been a challenge. I feel like sexually, I've

532
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 3: never really been like, to be honest with you, I

533
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 3: didn't have an orgasm until I was like twenty eight.

534
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 3: Yeah and so, and I think, and I don't know

535
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 3: if that's normal for women or not, but I think

536
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 3: that is because I never really I've always had a

537
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 3: high sex drive, but never felt comfortable enough with people. Now,

538
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, it was always consensual with you know,

539
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 3: with the person I was with, But I felt like

540
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 3: I wasn't opening up. And I'm thinking like I felt

541
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 3: like me not dealing with all of this is the

542
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 3: reason why, because I had so much sexual trauma that

543
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 3: I didn't realize how much it did affect my sex life.

544
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 3: And I think that learning that I'm MISTAKEEO sexual too

545
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: like the one of the reasons why you are having

546
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 3: a hard time Because that man ain't he ain't on

547
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 3: your intellect, so you're trying to connect with somebody intertwined

548
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 3: with somebody who ain't even here with you, and everybody

549
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 3: don't need that, but for me to be fulfilled, I

550
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 3: need that peace first, you know what I mean?

551
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. And then another thing that I love about your

552
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 2: story is how you spoke about your relationship with God.

553
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 3: Absolutely and you never.

554
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 2: Was angry with him. You always knew that he was

555
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 2: a pivotal role in your survival. Talk about that, because

556
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: you also during your story talk about how you was

557
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 2: like in a mental institution or something, and you were

558
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 2: saying how God needed the place you're there to confirm

559
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 2: that you were not crazy.

560
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 4: Girl.

561
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: And I tell you, baby.

562
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 3: Girl, when I tell you, that was the most humbling

563
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 3: experience I've ever had. So how I got there, that's

564
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 3: out there. How I got there. I was at the

565
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 3: hospital that is when she had just told me, like, hey,

566
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 3: you have to do an ssg F pregnancy test, do

567
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,719
Speaker 3: to the damadusty. I don't know if you're going to

568
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 3: be able to have kids. Now. That was overwhelming information

569
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 3: for me because I always wanted to be a mother

570
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 3: and someone has taken a gift that guy has given

571
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,239
Speaker 3: to me and I'm not even able to use it, like,

572
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 3: you know, I've just devastated. I started having a panic attack.

573
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 3: I called my dad's I call my grandmother. I'm crying,

574
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 3: I'm shaking. She said, I don't want you to drive.

575
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 3: I want you to sit and calm down first, because

576
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,840
Speaker 3: you don't need to drive. So shaking up my phone,

577
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 3: but my phone dies. She calls the police to the

578
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 3: doctor's office because she thinks like, oh my goodness, I

579
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 3: don't want her. She's freaking out. So my phone ended

580
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 3: up cutting back on. I call my aunt and my

581
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 3: grandmother is together. At this point. They we go in

582
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 3: the room and they say, hey, she you know where.

583
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 3: We don't think she's gonna be able to have kids,

584
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 3: but she needs to take this test. And then they

585
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 3: printed off the documentation of Hey, she told me this

586
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 3: is what happened to her. That's exactly what I see

587
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 3: from the damage, you know, just you know, breaking everything

588
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 3: down to my grandmother and my aunt. I'm still freaking out.

589
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 3: I go to the hospital just to give my grandmother

590
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 3: a piece of mind. Get checked out. I go home.

591
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 3: I'm still I'm in the in the midst of this,

592
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 3: I'm working full time and I'm finishing up my associates degree.

593
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 3: I graduate in about six months at this point. So

594
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 3: I live alone too, and I'm in Kalamazoo, Michigan pretty

595
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:49,479
Speaker 3: much by myself. So I'm having panic attacks. I'm having

596
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 3: anxiety attacks that I deal with high and extreme anxiety.

597
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 3: So I have anxiety attacks. And so they're like, okay,

598
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: I went to the hospital twice. The third time, they're like, okay,

599
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 3: if you're saying all these things happen to you, we

600
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 3: want you to get evaluated, not because we think something

601
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 3: is wrong with you.

602
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 2: But how are you able to just deal with Oh?

603
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, like how are you navigating right now? And so

604
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,239
Speaker 3: I called my mom. My mom said she was going

605
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 3: to come out, and they said, okay, we're not going

606
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 3: to have you go to Like if your mom is

607
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 3: going to come here, we're not going to have you

608
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,719
Speaker 3: go to any hospital. We have your mom come get

609
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 3: you and she can decide what. You know, you guys

610
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 3: can decide that together. So she says, no, I think

611
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 3: she should go. I think you guys should. So she agreed.

612
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 3: She they either said it's up to you. They told

613
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 3: it's up to you, and she said go ahead. So

614
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: now I'm angry that I'm thinking like, okay, maybe my

615
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 3: mom cares a little bit. She says, she's going to

616
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 3: come out here. You're only coming out here because you

617
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 3: know that I'm around professional speaking on things you don't

618
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 3: want me to speak about, so now you you know.

619
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 3: So AnyWho, I go there, I get there and they

620
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 3: put me in a room, take my shoe strings out

621
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 3: of my shoes, take my hairside out of my hair.

622
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 3: They're asking me all these questions, and I'm like, do

623
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 3: I want to kill myself? Which I've worked in a

624
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 3: as a police clerk before, so I know though that's protocol,

625
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to ask those questions, right, But I'm

626
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 3: thinking to myself, I have a roommate. I know that

627
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 3: I'm not crazy, and I'm sitting like, how did I

628
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 3: go from being told that I can't have kids and

629
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 3: I'm telling my story to my story got me into

630
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 3: a psych ward Like I'm I'm not you know, Okay,

631
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 3: So they're like, your roommate is quiet. You know, she's

632
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 3: she's cool. But I'm thinking, like, girl, we is in

633
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 3: the psych ward. Ain't no, Ain't that much quiet in

634
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 3: the world right right? So? And I'm thinking like quiet

635
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 3: that means you wear. It is a little so I'm

636
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 3: looking around the room at what I can find if

637
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 3: she get a little out of hand.

638
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,320
Speaker 2: I'm being right to protect yourself.

639
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 3: So I told myself, I'm not sleeping in the room

640
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 3: with her because I don't know you, and you went

641
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 3: here for something I don't know. But I know I'm

642
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 3: not crazy right now. One of the reasons why I

643
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 3: was having the anxiety attacks and Panica taxes because I

644
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 3: was calling my family expressing how I feel, oh, you know,

645
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 3: making me feel like I was crazy. So now I'm

646
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 3: at home with no one to talk to, battling my

647
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 3: own thoughts, which is sending me into these because no

648
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: one just you know, is keeping it real. They want

649
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 3: me to think I'm crazy. So that's one of the

650
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,320
Speaker 3: reasons why I feel like my mom said go ahead,

651
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 3: get there. I'm I didn't sleep in the room with

652
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 3: the girl. I stayed up. I didn't mind you. I'm

653
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 3: leaving the hospital to going to the cycle where like that.

654
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,839
Speaker 3: I go there in the ambulance, so I barely got

655
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 3: any sleep, So I'm going on day two no sleep.

656
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 3: I get there that around four thirty, the doctors are leaving,

657
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 3: so they're like, we have to evaluate you. If we

658
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 3: evaluate you and you're good, will send you home. Oh

659
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,320
Speaker 3: the doctors are gone. You have to wait till tomorrow,

660
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: So now I have to stay overnight. It's to the

661
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 3: point to where I'm blending in so good with the

662
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 3: staff that the patients that's asking me, can I go

663
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 3: get some water? Can I go? So even the staff

664
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 3: is like, why is she here? You know you don't

665
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 3: you know, you don't seem like you need to be

666
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 3: here at all. So at this time, I'm doing good

667
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 3: in school. I'm like, hey, I have a three point

668
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 3: five GPA, I am working full time. At the time,

669
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 3: I was working at a furniture store.

670
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 2: Nothing's wrong with me, nothing's wrong with me.

671
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 3: And so I meet the doctor. Oh actually before the

672
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 3: doctor comes, my mom and my grandmother and my family

673
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,919
Speaker 3: come up to the psych board and they're going off

674
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 3: and all of this, and they're like, well, you can't

675
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 3: see her until tomorrow. You know, visiting hours are over.

676
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 3: So they she causes a big scene. They end up

677
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 3: letting her come back. Me and her get into an

678
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 3: argument because I'm like, look, you're fucking with my school,

679
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 3: you're fucking with my my money. I was never supposed

680
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 3: to be in here anyway, and there's nothing wrong with me. No,

681
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 3: so she's trying to get me out a character. At

682
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 3: this point, the lady said, if there's anything that's wrong

683
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 3: with her, you caused it. They left. The doctor comes in,

684
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 3: he talks to me. He told me that he is

685
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 3: proud that I'm even navigating because there's so many women

686
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 3: that come in and out that have the same story.

687
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 2: Oh, that's what this story breaks a lot of people.

688
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 3: Yes, he said. He was giving me resources. He said,

689
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 3: I believe you a million percent. He said, I'm releasing

690
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 3: you today. Sent my professor's letters, you know, for my

691
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 3: so I can get my work, my job. He made

692
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 3: sure I was fine, and he said, I agree with

693
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 3: the front desk. Whatever is wrong, they caused it. You

694
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 3: don't need to be locked up in a psych wored

695
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 3: he said, if anything, you need out patient therapy, but

696
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 3: to be locked up and be restrained and not be

697
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 3: able to just go about your daily activities and what

698
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 3: you need to do. That doesn't need to happen. I

699
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 3: continued on, and I graduated twenty fifth and that was that.

700
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 3: And so but when I got home and honestly, being

701
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,399
Speaker 3: in an environment like that it changes you. I didn't

702
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 3: even need to I can imagine how a prison is

703
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 3: because these people are people who don't get a choice

704
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,240
Speaker 3: to walk out of the door. They have done things

705
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 3: to where like I had to fight my way up

706
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 3: out of there. I have to talk my way and

707
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 3: fight my way and out of there. Right. And so

708
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 3: I told myself every one my family, I'm talking to you,

709
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 3: you're crazy or crazy or crazy. God says, trust me,

710
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 3: trust you. You have to trust yourself first. If I

711
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 3: say these things happen to me, I remember these things.

712
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:01,240
Speaker 3: I have a visual of these things, and my body's

713
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,360
Speaker 3: speaking to me and the person on the phone. I

714
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 3: think the most fucked up thing that was messing me

715
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 3: up is these are people that I loved that like,

716
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 3: you're lying, you're crazy, you know? And this the Stopholm

717
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 3: syndromatics best because it's not even love, right. I was

718
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,799
Speaker 3: taught to love you, not to tell on you, right,

719
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,399
Speaker 3: and so, and then you're using drugs and you're doing

720
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 3: different things, and it's cloud in my memory. It's a

721
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 3: lot of things that go into play when it comes

722
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 3: to this. So just a lot, girl.

723
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 2: We're almost finished. But one thing I was a little

724
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 2: confused on is how did the military get involved?

725
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: Okay, good question. So I lead the cycle word and

726
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 3: I say, God had to put me in a place

727
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 3: where people don't have a sound mind so I can

728
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 3: see visually. He know his child, he know I'm a

729
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 3: visual learner. He said, I have to show you what

730
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 3: crazy life so you can see you Okay, right, So

731
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 3: I said, okay, I'll get home. I pray, I get

732
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: myself together. I said, you know what, God, just to

733
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 3: put the cherry on top. I'm going to go to

734
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 3: the best polygraph examiner in Michigan. He has. He's been

735
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: a detective for over forty years. He's been through all

736
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 3: throughout the state of Michigan, all throughout the United States.

737
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 3: He's been on doctor Phield. His resume is out of

738
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 3: this world. And I said, I want Howard Swabash to

739
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 3: do my polygraph pass with flying colors. Go get the

740
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 3: documentation for my obg y N take it to the

741
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 3: Miskeigan Police Department. Also contact JAG, which is the police

742
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 3: the military police, and it goes from there. They fly

743
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 3: out a detective of legraph from the military shot flew

744
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 3: She flew out and we did an extensive interview. She

745
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:07,479
Speaker 3: already came prepared. She did a lot of research before

746
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 3: meeting me, so she came with CPS cases that she found.

747
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:13,720
Speaker 3: She came with old statements from teachers that she found,

748
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 3: so she there was things there. She also asked them

749
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 3: to take a polygraph. I paid for mine on my own.

750
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,919
Speaker 3: This was outsourced. The military said they wanted to give

751
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 3: one to him because he's in the military, right and

752
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 3: they declined. They said they did not want to take one.

753
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 3: They declined, and so she said that they were going

754
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 3: to pick up the case. So she said that she

755
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 3: could not fully investigate the case because it happened in

756
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 3: Michigan and Muskegan. So she contacted the detectives in Muskegan.

757
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 3: I think it was Detective Anderson and Detective I'm not

758
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 3: sure it was three of them, but she said they

759
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: were going to work together so until the case was solved,

760
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 3: and then went to I was working with the Michigan

761
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 3: Police Department that whole summer. I moved to Texas, and

762
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 3: I think that is when they were like, I feel

763
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 3: like they kind of gave up on me in a sense,

764
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 3: because I'm like, I got to get to school, you know,

765
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 3: I'm trying to work this side, and they're like, oh,

766
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 3: you know, just go to school, you know, basically, just

767
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 3: move on from it, you know, just because they I

768
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 3: don't really feel like they wanted to investigate it. And

769
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 3: when I was talking to the detective, he wasn't really attentive.

770
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 3: He was like, cause, like I said, it was a

771
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 3: lot of murdering going on in my city. So he's like, no,

772
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to be funny, but you know, this

773
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 3: just happened, and this just happened, and it just and so.

774
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 2: It really made me pensitive. It is, and he's he

775
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: and this is why black and brown people don't come

776
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 2: out and tell their stories exactly.

777
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,319
Speaker 3: And so it was it was just a lot. And

778
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 3: so as I'm preparing to move, it was like they

779
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 3: were kind of waiting on that. Now I'm one of

780
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 3: the things. And if people don't know and you're from Michigan,

781
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 3: they chaff and adults of vile act. So that means

782
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:08,479
Speaker 3: that just say, you are, you got raped and you're

783
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 3: rushing home to go tell your parents, and you get

784
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 3: in a car accident and move your memory and you

785
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 3: don't remember, and then you remember listening to Jagged Edge

786
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 3: on your way in that song, and it triggers you

787
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 3: and you remember, then you can still fight that. Yep,

788
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 3: you can still fight that with the Adults to Virus Act.

789
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 3: And then you have three years after you tell the

790
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 3: police to continue to fight it. So just say you

791
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 3: tell them about the story, and you you say, hell,

792
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 3: I don't really want to do it right now, you

793
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 3: have three years after the fact.

794
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 2: So where's your stepfather at Now?

795
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,399
Speaker 3: He's still in the military, which everyone is wondering how

796
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 3: that even? How is that? So especially when his own

797
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 3: the military themselves asked him, Hey, we want to do

798
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 3: a polygraph. Now a Lugward did say she could not

799
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 3: force him to do one. She says, she believes me wholeheartedly,

800
00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 3: but she could not force him to do one. Now,

801
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:03,320
Speaker 3: how he's still active with these allegations with the polygraph

802
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 3: with him denying one, I don't know. And then we also,

803
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 3: I don't know if you saw mine. I think it's

804
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 3: in part three, my grandmother is admitting that he touched

805
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 3: one of his own kids.

806
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: So, and how many kids does he have?

807
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 3: Two?

808
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 2: And does he have any with your mom?

809
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 3: Two?

810
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 2: Oh? Wow?

811
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 3: So, yeah, it was a situation that happened that I'm

812
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 3: not going to disclose her name to protect my sister.

813
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 3: But she came home and she was about maybe three,

814
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 3: and she was pointing and saying things and three years old, yeah,

815
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 3: and I said she was. I said, didn't she come

816
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 3: home that day and say this? And she said, yeah,

817
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 3: he did. And so now I'm thinking to myself, and

818
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 3: I'm a kid myself. At she's three, I'm probably ten. Yeah,

819
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 3: I'm about ten, and so I'm only what third grade?

820
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 3: So I'm angry. I'm crying because i always wanted to

821
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 3: protect my sister's I'm a protector, that is me. I

822
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,720
Speaker 3: may not be the oldest, but I've always wanted to protect.

823
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 3: And so we have an audio of her her admitting

824
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 3: that those are those things were saying. But you know,

825
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 3: it's not like she doesn't know, like my grandmother knows

826
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 3: about even the guy that my mom was in a

827
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 3: relationship previously to the man she's married to. Now that's

828
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 3: who my store, my sister's story is connected to. So

829
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 3: you know, in my mind, I even go to the

830
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 3: depth of thinking, did she say, Okay, I'll let him

831
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 3: touch your sister, So now I have to now it's

832
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 3: your turn type of deal, like.

833
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 2: What was this or if I if it was done

834
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 2: to me, why you know, why it can't happen to you?

835
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:45,359
Speaker 3: Right, you know? And and that's why I don't respect him,

836
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 3: because it happened to me. And I can still open

837
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 3: my mouth and say whatever you know and say, hey,

838
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 3: this is not gonna happen. So where was your fight?

839
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 3: Where was your But then one would say, okay, she

840
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 3: had two kids eighteen months apart, probably going through some

841
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 3: type of post pardon, her family fucked up, and then

842
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 3: the person who tried to save her dies, her mental

843
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 3: state where is she now? I give my mother grace

844
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 3: during that time because I can only imagine falling in love,

845
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 3: having two kids, and then saying I love you, see

846
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 3: you when I get home, and then you die. So

847
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,359
Speaker 3: I give her grace. But when I stopped giving her

848
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 3: grace is and I don't think I'll ever not give

849
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,800
Speaker 3: her grace on that. But when you start having children,

850
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 3: getting remarried, going out, having a good time, you're navigating

851
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 3: well enough to be to know what you're doing, to

852
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 3: know what's right and wrong. So and even now, like

853
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 3: the fact that she's not standing with me said a

854
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 3: lot any other mother, that polygraph would have been enough.

855
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 3: Just the fact that you pass that would have been

856
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 3: enough to have me in a friendly how why you

857
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 3: know the obg yn. No, one's risking their license for you,

858
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 3: is risking their schooling, their license, their careers to lie

859
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 3: on these people, you know. So the documents that I have,

860
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 3: they're official, the people are official, and my truth is

861
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 3: not up for debate, you know.

862
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, So what does forgiveness look like for you? Or

863
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 2: do you even want forgiveness at this point?

864
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 3: You know? Forgiveness to me looks like moving on. Forgiveness

865
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 3: looks like moving on. I do not plan to mend

866
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 3: anything with these people. I do not plan to be

867
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 3: around them. It's pretty much they're nonexistent to me, and

868
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 3: I am moving on and I am healing. Forgiveness takes time.

869
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 3: It doesn't happen overnight, and due to the severity of

870
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 3: beat situations and everything that's happened, that's gonna take time.

871
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 3: So forgiveness right now to me just looks like moving

872
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 3: on and persevering through everything and continuing on to be successful.

873
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, oh, I'm super proud of you, sus I'm

874
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 2: really in Despite that you've been through, you still look good,

875
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 2: brown skin for the wind like you in school, you're

876
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 2: handling your business like this would have really this has

877
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 2: broken a lot of people. So the fact that you

878
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 2: are still here in sound mind is it says a lot.

879
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 2: So you know you can give yourself some grace when

880
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 2: its certain things because you know it's it's hard out

881
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 2: here with you being a single woman, you figuring things out.

882
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 2: That's why you gotta get this gofund me account started

883
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 2: so we can support you.

884
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 3: Absolutely, girl, I'm gonna do it as soon as we

885
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 3: get off. And I didn't want to see. I'm a

886
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:37,959
Speaker 3: person that is headstrong, so I'm like, I'm not gonna

887
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: get on here. But now it's to the point to

888
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 3: where no, I probably should because dealing with especially because

889
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 3: I'm a woman, dealing with two men that are the parents,

890
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 3: is I need some type of like that's a lot

891
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 3: for me because I'm mad too, you know.

892
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 2: And then i'd want We're gonna get you, at least

893
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 2: get you to have a relationship with your.

894
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 3: Child exactly exactly. And I just want to say this

895
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:10,399
Speaker 3: too to mothers. As an aunt, I'm not a mom yet,

896
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 3: but the closest thing as an aunt and as a woman,

897
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 3: always choose your kids because as they get older and you.

898
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 3: The fun parts is watching them have their own children's

899
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 3: in their own life and and just becoming something you

900
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 3: don't want to miss out on that. And a man

901
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 3: is got not guaranteed, but your child's love is always guaranteed.

902
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 3: So always choose your kids because guess what the way

903
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 3: God works is when you choose your kids, He's gonna

904
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 3: send you a man that chooses you. Because a man

905
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 3: that chooses you would never want your baby. If anything,

906
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,439
Speaker 3: he gonna protect your baby. He ain't gonna want your daughter.

907
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,359
Speaker 3: He gonna look he ain't even gonna look at her

908
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 3: like that. So choose your kids. And when you sacrifice that,

909
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 3: and when you when you two your kids and you

910
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 3: sacrifice that time go to school, get you a foundation,

911
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 3: get yourself together. If you don't like school, do hair,

912
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 3: just find something to help you set a foundation for

913
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 3: your kids. And I'm telling you God will send you

914
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 3: someone that is just for you and for the women

915
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,760
Speaker 3: who are like me, who have a story like mine.

916
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 3: Don't give up, keep fighting. You are beautiful, you are strong.

917
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 3: Every day when I have a hard day, I look

918
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 3: myself in the mirror and I remind myself who I am,

919
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 3: who I am and I am a queen. I am

920
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 3: God's child, and no matter what happens to me in

921
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 3: this world, I am covered in the blood of Jesus Christ.

922
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: And so with that being said, no matter what I'm

923
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 3: going through, I strap my shoes on tight and I

924
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 3: walk out the door and I keep fighting. So that's

925
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 3: what you should.

926
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 2: Do, a man, what I'm talking about. Okay, I'm definitely

927
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 2: keep in contact with you. We are. I'm gonna definitely

928
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 2: support you and hopefully stay with you on your Journey's

929
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:01,280
Speaker 2: who you can get your graduation from the quote unquote

930
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 2: air croach y'all the real TSU. Yes, you know, I'm

931
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 2: really looking forward to seeing how your story blossom because

932
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 2: I think you have a beautiful story and it's a

933
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 2: testament of how God has always been with you.

934
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 3: So absolutely, and I just want to let everyone know. Two,

935
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:22,919
Speaker 3: I do have a tour coming up, Okay. Yes, it's

936
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 3: with Terror Bream and so we'll be hitting a bunch

937
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:29,319
Speaker 3: of different cities. So just make sure you guys look

938
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 3: on my YouTube or look on my Instagram channel for that.

939
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 3: Thank you Instagram. Yes, I definitely will.

940
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: For sure if you come into the Tri State area,

941
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:41,840
Speaker 2: let me know for sure, and I come out pull.

942
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 3: Up most definitely, most definitely. Yes.

943
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much, sus I really appreciate this,

944
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 2: and to the listeners, if you have any questions, comments,

945
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,280
Speaker 2: or concerns, please make sure to email me a hello

946
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: at the PSG podcast dot com. I believe this conversation

947
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 2: was the epitome of what I always say about the

948
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 2: professional homegirl. You never know how your storyline could be

949
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:06,800
Speaker 2: somebody else's lifeline. So until next time, everyone, Later, you

950
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 2: ain't gonna say bye.

951
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 3: Bye, bir I know if you was done with your closing,

952
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 3: but thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for

953
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 3: listening to my story. Make sure you follow me on

954
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:21,720
Speaker 3: my social media. And again, if you're going through anything,

955
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 3: let me be in an inspiration and I will not

956
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,959
Speaker 3: give up. I'll never give up. So if you don't

957
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 3: have anybody that you feel like you can look at

958
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 3: to inspire you, just keep watching me because I'm not

959
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 3: gonna stop.

960
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 2: Okay, period, period, later later. Pretty Private is a production

961
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 2: of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

962
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 2: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

963
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 2: to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate

964
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 2: the show, and you can connect with me on social

965
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 2: media at pretty private podcast