WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Penguins Are Sexy

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<v Speaker 1>Second date of date. When you're on a date, I

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<v Speaker 1>think the goal for a lot of people is to

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<v Speaker 1>just get to a point where you can finally let

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<v Speaker 1>your guard down. Yeah, the best part. Yeah, and just

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<v Speaker 1>to try do what animals do? Oh wait, what a down?

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<v Speaker 1>And what better place to see animals do and what

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<v Speaker 1>they do? Then at the local zoo. And that's where

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<v Speaker 1>one of our listeners, Chris, took his date and now

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<v Speaker 1>she's not calling him back. Chris, what's going on? Man?

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<v Speaker 1>You go animal style at the zoo with your date.

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<v Speaker 1>We had a very nice date at the zoo. He's like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to answer that. No one ever does.

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<v Speaker 1>So tell us about the girl that you went out with.

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<v Speaker 1>What's her name? Her name's Ellie, Ellie. Where'd you meet her?

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<v Speaker 1>We matched on tender and then it was I wanted

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<v Speaker 1>a not a very risky date, and so it was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what about the zoo? And she immediately said yes, it's

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<v Speaker 1>actually like it's a great idea the zoo, Like there's

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<v Speaker 1>always something to talk about. Look at a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of danger in there, stick your arm in between the

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<v Speaker 1>cages of the line cage and it's a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of excitement to do that. That's exactly the whole point.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not allowed to. But when you do get gets

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<v Speaker 1>the blood pumping, things start happening, isn't that right, Chris?

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<v Speaker 1>That is? And she kept asking me what animals I

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<v Speaker 1>want to see? And I've actually done this before, so

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<v Speaker 1>I knew for a fact you don't want to go

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<v Speaker 1>see the monkeys because they might throw poop at you.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't want to go see the elephants because they're

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<v Speaker 1>majestic animals, but they stink the high Heaven exactly. So

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<v Speaker 1>I was sitting there going like, oh, maybe the drafts

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<v Speaker 1>would be a safe bet, and she didn't suggested that

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<v Speaker 1>her favorite animal is the penguin. The penguins, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're worrying about penguins are so stinky. Yeah, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>they're awesome, they're super clear to see you. Yeah, but

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<v Speaker 1>if they're the girl's favored, you have to do it. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But here's the thing with the penguins, though, is they

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<v Speaker 1>have that little tunnel where you can look at them

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<v Speaker 1>as they're underwater. You can't smell down there, and there's

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<v Speaker 1>not a lot of light and it's kind of romantic.

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<v Speaker 1>And so we were just standing there very naturally watching

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<v Speaker 1>the penguins swim around underwater. I leaned it over to

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<v Speaker 1>her and kissed her. Okay, how is that received? She

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<v Speaker 1>kissed me back, and it was like, this is nice.

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<v Speaker 1>And penguins mate for life. They do happy that's how

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<v Speaker 1>they mate. I know. They're much better than the philandering humans.

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<v Speaker 1>So it sounds like things are going great. Yeah, And

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<v Speaker 1>at this point she asks me kind of very flirtatiously.

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<v Speaker 1>She's like, hey, have you seen this brain farting on

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<v Speaker 1>the name? But it's the documentary about penguins that's out

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<v Speaker 1>right now. She's like, have you seen this documentary? And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, she's like really into penguins, really really into

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<v Speaker 1>You're not talking about happy Feet, right? A documentary? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>like March of the Penguins. Y, yeah, yeah, one of

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<v Speaker 1>those very same thing as that. Okay, So she's like

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<v Speaker 1>have you seen it? And I was like no. She

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<v Speaker 1>was like, well, why don't we go back to your

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<v Speaker 1>place and watch it? Oh? That was I'm sorry by

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<v Speaker 1>her part, smooth. It was so into penguins. I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>even sure if she wanted to do like Netflix and Chill.

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<v Speaker 1>It was this more like Geo and Krill, like she

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to teach me everything. Yeah, both sound good to me,

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<v Speaker 1>no matter what I mean. But are you into that?

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<v Speaker 1>Because like it's it's cool when somebody has a really

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<v Speaker 1>cool interest and they're really into it. Yeah, but you

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<v Speaker 1>always hope it's not penguins. Penguins. Okay, So did you

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<v Speaker 1>end up doing that? No? No, we went back to

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<v Speaker 1>my place, we put on the documentary and almost immediately

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<v Speaker 1>we start making out. Yeah that penguins. Yeah, she knows

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<v Speaker 1>enough about penguins. All right. How was the makeout? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>It was pretty good because you got that British guy

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<v Speaker 1>in the back with the monotonous voice talking David Attenborough

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever. Ye, okay, so what making out for about

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<v Speaker 1>ten minutes and then I hear key's jangling at the

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<v Speaker 1>front door. Oh my god, do not tell me you

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<v Speaker 1>have a wife? Oh I have a maid service. Oh okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so you have a maid come in yes, Because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't have a lot of control over what time she

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<v Speaker 1>shows up my maid and I didn't even know we

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<v Speaker 1>were coming back to my place until we were at

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<v Speaker 1>the zoo, so I wasn't planning on that. She wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to make out with you with a dirty place. Good job, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>lots of ladies like dirty places. You keep telling yourself

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<v Speaker 1>that by did you tell the maid like, sorry, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>in the middle of something here, can you come back later? No,

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<v Speaker 1>this is not a case. If she's there, she's already

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<v Speaker 1>traveled a long distance and so be kind of rude

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<v Speaker 1>to send her away. So you just let her clean

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<v Speaker 1>around while you guys were kissing. No, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, all right, she's going to obviously clean

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<v Speaker 1>the living room. I was like, why don't you and

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<v Speaker 1>I go to the bedroom. No you can't do that. No, No,

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<v Speaker 1>you needed to rain check at that point, say oh, man,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, our housekeeper's here. Let's go get coffee

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<v Speaker 1>or something. Vacuum. Man, what did she say to the

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<v Speaker 1>bedroom invitation? She when was it? But like, like you

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<v Speaker 1>just said it was the long choice, yeah, and then

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<v Speaker 1>the coop the drab was Then my maid needed to

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<v Speaker 1>get into my bedroom, so we had to switch rooms.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like wow, And at that point Ellie was like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's done. It's not Yeah, it's done for us, and

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<v Speaker 1>you just like it would have been perfect if you

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<v Speaker 1>would have just ended it when the housekeeper came. I

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<v Speaker 1>that now, but I can't hop into mind. Lauren fix that.

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<v Speaker 1>I know. So she hasn't texted or called or anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Like the momentum was that ruined, I guess so. Or

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<v Speaker 1>maybe she thought it was desperate because I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>let's keep switching room. Yeah yeah, quiet, you were trying

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<v Speaker 1>real hard to make it work. Yeah, all right, well

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna try and make it work for you. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>we can solve there, there's something here. Let's play a song,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll come back. We'll call Ellie for you, and we'll

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<v Speaker 1>try and get you your second date update. Okay, that

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<v Speaker 1>would be awesome. Hold on the human mail and finicky creature.

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<v Speaker 1>He seeks to find a suitable mate online to join

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<v Speaker 1>him back at his pleasure then, and this particular mail,

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<v Speaker 1>Chris knows just the bait to lure her in an

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<v Speaker 1>unsuspecting female in a documentary about Emperor Penguins, I kind

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<v Speaker 1>of like that. Although beautiful, the dating world can be

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<v Speaker 1>a mysterious and unforgiving place as well, full of surprises,

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<v Speaker 1>because just before he can complete his mating dance, Chris

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<v Speaker 1>gets an unexpected visitor, oh a housekeeper, arriving to assume

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<v Speaker 1>her duties and spoil the mood. Chris is not pleased.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh and now we're about to witness one of the

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<v Speaker 1>most spectacular and peculiar rituals in the mating Kingdom, a

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<v Speaker 1>second date update to see if we can save the mood.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want regular Jeffrey bring back my favor If

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<v Speaker 1>you're just tuning in for the second date update, Chris

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<v Speaker 1>wants our help getting back in touch with his date

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<v Speaker 1>named Ellie. He was able to get her back to

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<v Speaker 1>his place where they were watching a penguin documentary before

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<v Speaker 1>a maid came in and ruin the mood. So now

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<v Speaker 1>he's hoping he can get things back on track with

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<v Speaker 1>a second date update. Do you think that could be

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<v Speaker 1>something else besides you know the housekeeper coming in? No,

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<v Speaker 1>because I've gone over this, like there's a vood film

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<v Speaker 1>and everything was going great. Then you know three's a

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<v Speaker 1>crowd and that moll in the move. Is this weird

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<v Speaker 1>that she wouldn't be calling you back right? Like? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the weird part because I can guarantee like the

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<v Speaker 1>next time there won't be three people that Yeah, what

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<v Speaker 1>was the main wearing? No one else? She's just turned

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<v Speaker 1>off because like he means, you don't clean your own house.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Let's just call Ellie and see what

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<v Speaker 1>she has to say. Get your second day to update.

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<v Speaker 1>You ready, Chris, I'm ready? Thank you? All Right, here

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<v Speaker 1>we go. I'm and do the number right now. Hello. Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm looking for Ellie. Yeah, hi Ellie. My name is

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<v Speaker 1>Jeffrey from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>How you doing. What's this about? Well, this is about

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<v Speaker 1>a segment that we do on our show, and you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to be the star of it. Okay, it's a

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<v Speaker 1>good thing, I promise, Well I think, I don't promise.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm hoping it's a good thing because we're doing something

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<v Speaker 1>called a second date update. That's where if you go

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<v Speaker 1>out with someone and afterwards, if that person isn't calling

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<v Speaker 1>you back, you can email our show and we'll reach

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<v Speaker 1>out to that person for you to try and figure

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<v Speaker 1>out the reason why. Oh, you're being serious. I thought

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<v Speaker 1>you were joking about it. You're kind of a joke

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<v Speaker 1>but I never joke about anything ever. It's really hard

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<v Speaker 1>to tell what you're joking about and what you're not

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<v Speaker 1>joking about. Right now, well, I'm just going to drop

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<v Speaker 1>the jokes and in all honesty, one of our listeners

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<v Speaker 1>is trying to get a hold of you. His name's Chris. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>how do you know about this? Well, because he emailed

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<v Speaker 1>us and he told us a little bit about how

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<v Speaker 1>you two met and that you guys went out for

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<v Speaker 1>a date and on his account, it was a really

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<v Speaker 1>nice time for the majority of your date. Yeah, he

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<v Speaker 1>really liked you a lot. Okay, So now he's confused

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<v Speaker 1>because afterwards he's been struggling to get a hold of

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<v Speaker 1>you and he's hoping to figure out why. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>and he told you about all this, He told us

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of stuff. But like, how do you feel

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, did you like him when you guys were

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<v Speaker 1>hanging out? It sounds like you liked him a lot

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<v Speaker 1>because he told us that. Like, you're the one that

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<v Speaker 1>suggested to go back and watch the penguin documentary at

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<v Speaker 1>his house, which I thought smooth, very good. Moon How

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<v Speaker 1>he just tells everything, doesn't he is that? Okay? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>there's nothing embarrassing that he told us. No, not for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait what does that mean? I mean, he's just I

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<v Speaker 1>think he's really weird. So what makes you think that? Well, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we went to see a documentary on penguins, because I

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<v Speaker 1>love penguins and it's got to get a little flirty

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff, you know, and well it's so funny. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Well his maid walks in, and I mean he told

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<v Speaker 1>us about that that it kind of interrupted the mood

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<v Speaker 1>and took things down a level. But he feels really

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<v Speaker 1>bad about it. And to be fair, it's not like

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<v Speaker 1>he planned it. I mean, he didn't know that you

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<v Speaker 1>guys were going back to his place. He just had

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<v Speaker 1>the housekeeper scheduled. I mean, it definitely ruined the mood,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's not his fault technically, but he acted really

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<v Speaker 1>weird towards her. Towards the housekeeper, Yeah, what do you mean,

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<v Speaker 1>he like jumped up when she came like immediately and

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<v Speaker 1>gave her a hug. He hugged her. Yeah, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think you do that. I think it's fine. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>this person is cleaning your house, and if she's been

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<v Speaker 1>cleaning his house for a long time, like you can

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<v Speaker 1>establish a relation. For everybody knows, you never hug the

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<v Speaker 1>help bro. We you don't make eye contact. You can

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<v Speaker 1>you can maybe maybe like have a little bit of

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<v Speaker 1>a word or two with them, but you don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to give him the wrong idea. What are you talking about?

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<v Speaker 1>This person is in your stuff, like literally see plugbers

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff. Do you hug them if they were at

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<v Speaker 1>my house every week? Sure? So wait, that's why you're

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<v Speaker 1>not calling him back is because he hugged his housekeeper.

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<v Speaker 1>Not just that, Like she came in a french maid outfit,

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<v Speaker 1>like the type that you see on Halloween. Like she

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<v Speaker 1>was dressed like a sexy French maid. Yeah, like the

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<v Speaker 1>feather duster that doesn't do anything. And yeah, so you

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<v Speaker 1>think he's hiring her just because she's hot. I'm confused. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why he's doing it, but that was

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<v Speaker 1>a red flat. I don't know why he's doing that either, Ellie.

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<v Speaker 1>But I do know how we can find out, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's a by just straight up asking him because he's

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<v Speaker 1>on the other line listening and he wants to join

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:50.800
<v Speaker 1>this conversation. He's on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's

0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:57.160
<v Speaker 1>been waiting like a little dirty boy that he is. Chris, Yep, yep,

0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:01.720
<v Speaker 1>that's all you got, Chris, Um, I have an answer here,

0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.439
<v Speaker 1>But if I give the answer, you're going to think

0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:09.160
<v Speaker 1>even worse of the situation. And it's not the case.

0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:12.599
<v Speaker 1>It's actually a very innocent mistake, and I think I

0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.040
<v Speaker 1>was trying to plaster over it with a white eye,

0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:19.320
<v Speaker 1>and it's actually gotten worse. Just spit it out, Chris. Yeah,

0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:21.480
<v Speaker 1>I think you're already in a pretty bad position as

0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.720
<v Speaker 1>it is. I don't think it could get much Okay, okay, okay.

0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I do not have a housekeeper, a maid. I do

0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.040
<v Speaker 1>not have a cleaning service. A woman who came over

0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:33.240
<v Speaker 1>and has keys to my apartment is my mother who no, no,

0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:38.240
<v Speaker 1>let's rewind you're your mom is the one that showed

0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:41.480
<v Speaker 1>up in a French maid outfit because she's a theatrical person. Yes,

0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:43.880
<v Speaker 1>when it's been she would drive me around in high school.

0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:48.120
<v Speaker 1>She wouldn't wear a chauffeur's outfit. Wait, hold on, dude, okay,

0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.080
<v Speaker 1>hold on. You live with your mom in a one

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:52.760
<v Speaker 1>bedroom apartment or your mom comes over dressed as a

0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:57.840
<v Speaker 1>sexy French maid to clean your house? Neither a good oufic. Yeah,

0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.079
<v Speaker 1>it is a French outfit. I do not think it

0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:03.120
<v Speaker 1>is a sexy outfit, and I think it's just to

0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.880
<v Speaker 1>get into character. You couldn't ask her and come back

0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 1>if it's your mom was in your apartment, she only

0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.640
<v Speaker 1>does it like maybe once or twice a month, and

0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:15.400
<v Speaker 1>she's coming from all the way acrom and I don't

0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.040
<v Speaker 1>want to ask her to go back because it's late

0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:18.920
<v Speaker 1>at night. She I don't want to drive about that time.

0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.960
<v Speaker 1>So you were making out with her while your mom

0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:26.360
<v Speaker 1>was in the other room vacuuming. Yeah, that's not weird though,

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 1>again dressed and not normal. Aid not normal. I thought

0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 1>it was going to be like some weird S and

0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.280
<v Speaker 1>M thing he was into. And I'm actually now better

0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:37.000
<v Speaker 1>with that than I. No, no, no, no, no, this

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.160
<v Speaker 1>is not This is not an ES and M thing.

0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:41.360
<v Speaker 1>This is a completely normal thing. And I would just

0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.160
<v Speaker 1>like to say that my mom thinks you really cute, Ellie.

0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.440
<v Speaker 1>She thought you had a great figure, and she says

0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:51.120
<v Speaker 1>she was like, you did very well for yourself. Did

0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.480
<v Speaker 1>you just say that your mom thought that Ellie had

0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.920
<v Speaker 1>a nice figure. Again, you're making it weird when you

0:14:56.040 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 1>put on it. I'm just trying to clarify. You know,

0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.000
<v Speaker 1>you could have introduced me to her if that was

0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:08.560
<v Speaker 1>your mom. What would that be better responsibility there? I

0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 1>was caught flat footed. I didn't know. I know my

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.840
<v Speaker 1>mom when she's in her cleaning character, she likes to

0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.400
<v Speaker 1>stay in character. So I when I went over there

0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:18.440
<v Speaker 1>in a huggar, I briefly whispered our ears, like, hey,

0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:20.440
<v Speaker 1>you do your thing. We're gonna go to the bedroom.

0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 1>You you do your thing, and you clean my apartment

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.000
<v Speaker 1>because I'm a grown man and I'm gonna make out

0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:32.000
<v Speaker 1>with a woman in my bedroom. This is there are

0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:36.120
<v Speaker 1>so many red flags here. You're the coolest mom ever. Honestly,

0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.800
<v Speaker 1>she's I think my mom is very cool. Most people

0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.560
<v Speaker 1>think my mom is cool. And I bet you shed

0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:47.840
<v Speaker 1>you are a grown man. Do your own that's a

0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:52.680
<v Speaker 1>selling point of Okay. With that said, man, would you

0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.920
<v Speaker 1>like to go out on one more day with Chris?

0:15:55.280 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 1>We will pay for it. I'm good. All saw that coming, dude,

0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Come on, Chris. I'm sorry, man, I'm really bummed out.

0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 1>I didn't I didn't realize my mom screwed the whole

0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 1>thing up. No, no, you screwed the whole thing up.

0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm bummed out for you, Chris, because now Ellie won't

0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:14.240
<v Speaker 1>be able to go out in the second day and

0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:19.280
<v Speaker 1>meet your dad as the butler or the police officer. Yeah,

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:24.680
<v Speaker 1>man broke and Jeffrey in the morning