Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdeck. I'm the pastor of Elevation
Speaker 1: Church and this is our podcast. I wanted to thank
Speaker 1: you for joining us today.
Speaker 2: Hope this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith.
Speaker 1: Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving
Speaker 1: in your life.
Speaker 2: Enjoy the message.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Do the New You Mindset Masterclass.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you're this far, you might as
Speaker 1: well know there were some alternate titles for this conversation
Speaker 1: between me and my friend Brendan Burchard. Brendan is one
Speaker 1: of the most sought after performance coaches in the world,
Speaker 1: so I thought we should call this segment Holy Ghost
Speaker 1: Life Coach. And he was like, yeah, no, what about
Speaker 1: what about Mindset master Class. I'm like, yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: what have we called it? Like, what have we called it?
Speaker 2: After?
Speaker 1: Amen? You know? Because that's my heart, Like we all
Speaker 1: say we believe this and in the book, I'm giving
Speaker 1: you six truths to say over yourself. But after you
Speaker 1: say amen, like yeah, I believe our last mindset. God
Speaker 1: is not against me. He's in it with me, working
Speaker 1: through me, fighting for me. I believe with God there's
Speaker 1: always a way by faith, I will find it. I
Speaker 1: believe Christ is in me. I am enough. I believe
Speaker 1: I'm not stuck unless I stop now after I say amen,
Speaker 1: which means, so be it?
Speaker 2: What action do I take? Right?
Speaker 1: And we're putting these conversations together as a gift to
Speaker 1: you to take you deeper into what we shared in
Speaker 1: the book, the six mindsets to become who you were
Speaker 1: created to be, and this mindset, I really do need
Speaker 1: a life coach, because I'll tell you what. Putting this
Speaker 1: in the book to me almost felt like an act
Speaker 1: of hypocrisy because the mindset this is the shortest one,
Speaker 1: I guess and the hardest one for me. It goes
Speaker 1: my joy is my job, and it's like, I don't
Speaker 1: really want to call joy a job. Joy is supposed
Speaker 1: to be a sensation, right It overtakes me with a
Speaker 1: bite of a Hershey bar, or with the glimpse of
Speaker 1: the sunset. You know, it doesn't have to be something decadent.
Speaker 1: But joy is this rush that I experience that comes
Speaker 1: from an event. And the more I study it Brendan
Speaker 1: in the Bible, the more I study it in life.
Speaker 1: I'm really hanging on to that quote from Brian Wilson
Speaker 1: from the Beach Boys that I put in the book,
Speaker 1: and he's had mental health challenges that a lot of
Speaker 1: people know about. But you know, the Beach Boys music
Speaker 1: is so happy and so sunny. And he looks at
Speaker 1: the documentarian in this movie that I saw about his
Speaker 1: life and he says, you know, I found out happiness
Speaker 1: is really hard work, and that hit me. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: if we're just chasing happiness as an end result and
Speaker 1: not really taking responsibility to own our emotions, that's what
Speaker 1: we want to get into a little bit today with Brendan,
Speaker 1: how to own your emotions so you don't run around
Speaker 1: saying stuff like they didn't make me happy, or I
Speaker 1: left that company because it wasn't making me fulfilled. Well, happiness, fulfillment,
Speaker 1: all of those things aren't something that someone else can
Speaker 1: make you. And I think that ownership process of our
Speaker 1: own joy is a lifelong process, yes, a moment by
Speaker 1: moment process. You know in the church, people say they
Speaker 1: stole my joy, Then what in the world were you
Speaker 1: doing putting it where they could steal it.
Speaker 2: You should have locked it up, You should have had
Speaker 2: it somewhere safe.
Speaker 1: You should have put your joy somewhere other than just
Speaker 1: how somebody else treats you. But really, like I told you,
Speaker 1: in so many of these mindsets, these are the things
Speaker 1: that I preach to me. Because nobody is going to
Speaker 1: vote me for the naturally happiest human alive. That's not
Speaker 1: my disposition. That doesn't mean that it can't be my destination.
Speaker 1: Though I can become more joyful, I can become more grateful.
Speaker 2: I can practice these things.
Speaker 1: And that's why I brought the world's best life coach
Speaker 1: to help me. So make me happy, Brendan, it's your
Speaker 1: job make me happy, make me joyful.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I can make you happy. I'll
Speaker 2: start with the coaching piece. He said. A second ago,
Speaker 2: they stole my joy. And a lot of people say that.
Speaker 2: I say, no one stole your joy. You gave them
Speaker 2: your attention. Wow, that's what happened. You took your That's
Speaker 2: what happened. What happened, No one took it. You gave
Speaker 2: them your attention, you, you gave them your belief, you
Speaker 2: gave them, you know, your thought pattern. Instead of owning
Speaker 2: the fact that you control this. You're the gatekeeper up here,
Speaker 2: you're the generator up here, You're the commander up here,
Speaker 2: and when you know you own this, you start to
Speaker 2: own your emotions. And I always love to tell people
Speaker 2: there's a difference between emotion and feelings different. A nice
Speaker 2: way to think about is we have impulsive emotions and
Speaker 2: we have ongoing feelings. And let me give you a difference.
Speaker 2: If you go into a haunted house, right and someone
Speaker 2: jumps out the corner, that fear that hits you, that
Speaker 2: is automatic, it's physical, and it's impulsive. Fear just hits you.
Speaker 2: You get scared, right. But if you go home at
Speaker 2: night and now it's seven o'clock at night, you're safe
Speaker 2: in your house, the doors are locked, your husband or
Speaker 2: your spouse is there, things are good, and you still
Speaker 2: you start kind of getting spooked. I feel like something
Speaker 2: as bad as going to happen. Now that ongoing feeling,
Speaker 2: you're generating that with your thoughts. The first one you
Speaker 2: meet it fear scared. That's impulsive, that's automatic. An emotion
Speaker 2: is like that just happens in your body. A psychologists
Speaker 2: found emotions pass usually in ninety seconds to three minutes.
Speaker 2: The emotion actually pass. Now our thoughts really do take over,
Speaker 2: and our thoughts are forming a story. Our thoughts are
Speaker 2: telling us what something means. Our thoughts are either taking
Speaker 2: command of us or we're in take command of them,
Speaker 2: because we can say, wait, I'm in the house, everything's okay.
Speaker 2: Oh I just got scared earlier, and I'm holding on
Speaker 2: to that. Unhappiness is very similar. Something can happen, it's
Speaker 2: an unhappy situation. Someone was mean to us, you know,
Speaker 2: something awful happened. It makes me feel bad. There's grief there,
Speaker 2: there's hurt there, and we can feel that like in
Speaker 2: that immediate emotion, it's just like, ah, that I feel bad.
Speaker 2: But if later on it's an ongoing feeling of happiness,
Speaker 2: I promise you're architecting your thoughts in such a way
Speaker 2: it's creating the ongoing happiness. So think about it. Is
Speaker 2: the situations of your life, the bad events of your life,
Speaker 2: are they still dragging on in the feelings of today.
Speaker 2: That's where we say, oh, I got to take back
Speaker 2: command of the architecture of my thoughts here, because that's
Speaker 2: what's really screwing me up. That's what's stealing my joy
Speaker 2: is I'm not architecting the thoughts. It would give me
Speaker 2: that And then you hear me teach all the time,
Speaker 2: I'm always sharing this idea that my dominant metaphor in
Speaker 2: my life is about a power plant.
Speaker 1: I love it, and you'll listen to the power plant.
Speaker 2: This change your life? Is crazy, this changes my life
Speaker 2: every day. Yeah, And the idea is, you know, the
Speaker 2: power plant doesn't have energy. It actually generates energy. So
Speaker 2: technically a power plant takes energy from one level of resource,
Speaker 2: a rushing stream or solar or whatever. It's taking energy
Speaker 2: from one level, lower level of utilization. It's transforming that
Speaker 2: energy into a higher level of utilization, and it's transmitting it.
Speaker 2: And I love it because the power plant doesn't have energy. Oh,
Speaker 2: it's it's taking energy from one lower level, it's transforming
Speaker 2: it and transmitting into a higher level. That means I
Speaker 2: can do that in my own life. You know, I'm
Speaker 2: feeling a low level of energy today. I don't have motivation,
Speaker 2: I don't have joy, I don't have love in my heart. Actually,
Speaker 2: I woke up kind of grumpy. Well, that's a low
Speaker 2: level of utilization. It's my job. How do I take
Speaker 2: the energy of the world or my situation, my life,
Speaker 2: my relationships, and how do I take ownership as a
Speaker 2: power plant? And how do I up level that? Why
Speaker 2: do that with my thoughts. My thoughts are my turbines.
Speaker 2: My thoughts are the thing that can spin that energy
Speaker 2: up into a higher level. And now I can be
Speaker 2: a person of goodness, I can be a person of cheer,
Speaker 2: I can be a person of joy. And is that
Speaker 2: choice to be the power plant of the feelings of
Speaker 2: my life that has made my life more fulfilling because
Speaker 2: before that I was at the whim of everybody else
Speaker 2: and everything else. Because see, most of the world right now,
Speaker 2: it's a pretty low level energy. There's a lot of
Speaker 2: division and vitriol and hate and us against them. It's
Speaker 2: low level. But you can say, I'm not going to
Speaker 2: live in that mud puddle. I'm going to take the
Speaker 2: water out of that mud puddle. I'm going to turn
Speaker 2: it through these turbines of joy and faith and reasoning
Speaker 2: and logic and a desire for an extraordinary life. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna spin that up and boom, I'm gonna feel different
Speaker 2: and transmit different.
Speaker 1: Yes. See, man, now you made me want to be
Speaker 1: in church. I want it to be ten o'clock on
Speaker 1: a Sunday morning. I want to him and beat three
Speaker 1: organ because I want to talk about the power plant
Speaker 1: and Jesus said, you will receive power when the Holy
Speaker 1: Spirit comes on you, and you will be my witnesses
Speaker 1: in Jerusalem. Judea Samaria.
Speaker 2: What's that.
Speaker 1: That's taking the power and then transforming that power into
Speaker 1: a witness.
Speaker 2: So you see what he just did.
Speaker 1: He said, I'm gonna give you power from another place,
Speaker 1: and then i want your faith to be the turbine
Speaker 1: by which you take what I've given you and take
Speaker 1: it to the world. And that's so much more empowering
Speaker 1: to me than it is to sit.
Speaker 2: There and go, Lord, give me joy.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get people out of this pattern that
Speaker 1: we have Brendan sometimes of going Lord.
Speaker 2: Give me joy, give me joy, give me joy.
Speaker 1: And the Lord gave you somebody to help that would
Speaker 1: have brought you joy if you would have helped that person.
Speaker 1: And I also think that we should talk about this,
Speaker 1: isn't the happiness that we want often hidden in the
Speaker 1: thing that we resist.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you said it earlier about peace, and our
Speaker 2: friend Trent Shelton talks about protecting your peace. So I
Speaker 2: think the first part of our conversation today has all
Speaker 2: been about generating it, about generating joy, generating the emotions
Speaker 2: we want to feel being the power plant. But there's
Speaker 2: another job we have. So if the first job we
Speaker 2: have is being the generator, the second job we have,
Speaker 2: which is really important today, is we got to be
Speaker 2: the gatekeeper, the gatekeeper of our joy and our happiness.
Speaker 2: He talked about the enemy, and sometimes the enemy is
Speaker 2: taking that and we constantly continue abusing ourselves and taking
Speaker 2: away our own happiness by engaging in things that we
Speaker 2: know are bad for us or are not good. I'll
Speaker 2: give you a convenient example right now about social media.
Speaker 2: A lot of people don't understand that. All of social
Speaker 2: media research has shown it doesn't make us feel good.
Speaker 2: If you're generating and you're the creator, or you're doing
Speaker 2: it to create relationships, it can be a very positive
Speaker 2: and entertaining thing, but for most people actually creates a
Speaker 2: low level of anxiety and stress. Because here's what happens
Speaker 2: when you're scrolling. And this is really important to understand.
Speaker 2: If you're in a bad mood, be careful about disengaging
Speaker 2: from the world and going to social media. Here's what
Speaker 2: they found from the research. This is amazing. When you're scrolling.
Speaker 2: Every time you scroll past something, the brain has to
Speaker 2: do three things. First, as you're scrolling, the brain has
Speaker 2: to make a judgment, a decision. Is this worthy of
Speaker 2: stopping and paying attention to? Is this worthy of my attention?
Speaker 2: So immediate judgment is it worthy? Is it good? Do
Speaker 2: I like it? Judgment? Second thing is comparison. Am I
Speaker 2: like that? Do I do things like that? Does my
Speaker 2: house look like that? Does my kitchen look like that?
Speaker 2: Did I wear that thing like that? So we compare,
Speaker 2: and then the third thing is we end up having
Speaker 2: what's called contempt, which is division. We go, well, they're
Speaker 2: like that, I'm not, And so think about that. Most
Speaker 2: people scroll pass over a thousand posts a day, so
Speaker 2: a thousand times you just wired your brain for more
Speaker 2: judgment and for more comparison. Now, would you ever go
Speaker 2: to teenager and go, here's what I want to do.
Speaker 2: I want to train you all day to be more judgmental. Wow,
Speaker 2: I want to train you all day to compare yourself
Speaker 2: to more people. We know there's or negative behaviors, but
Speaker 2: we do them. And most people are on now social
Speaker 2: media an hour to two hours a day, consuming, not generating, consuming,
Speaker 2: just like blindly scrolling through. And you have to understand
Speaker 2: you're not being the gatekeeper of your own peace and
Speaker 2: your own mind. Every time you're scrolling through, you're training yourself.
Speaker 2: This is not scrolling passively. This is training. You are
Speaker 2: training yourself to be more judgmental. That's why you're unhappy.
Speaker 2: You judge everything. Why is everyone so judgmental today? Because
Speaker 2: they train themselves a thousand times today. Why is everyone
Speaker 2: comparing themselves? Why do we have us versus them? Because
Speaker 2: we're comparing ourselves all day. We're not gatekeeping our minds.
Speaker 2: It's just like when you hang around bad people. And
Speaker 2: I know that's a bad phrase, you know to say
Speaker 2: bad people, but you know, people whose behaviors cause negative
Speaker 2: results in your life. The more you hang around them,
Speaker 2: the more you become like them. Well, the more you
Speaker 2: live in a land of judgment in comparison, the more
Speaker 2: you become that, and it steals your joy. You're like, well,
Speaker 2: it's stealing my joy. It's like, no, you scroll the
Speaker 2: way your joy, and so I really want to be
Speaker 2: attentive to that. Pay attention to the news you consume,
Speaker 2: Pay attention to the people you're hanging out with, pay
Speaker 2: attention to the quality of what you are consuming, Pay
Speaker 2: attention to the quality of your entertainment, because all of
Speaker 2: that is either isn't in the well or it's empowering you,
Speaker 2: it's lifting you. And I think that that's the number
Speaker 2: one reason most people aren't happy is because we live
Speaker 2: in a consumptive society as and we're in that consumer
Speaker 2: mindset and we're just taking everything in and now we're
Speaker 2: comparing ourselves and we're judging everybody. It's hard to be
Speaker 2: a happy person if I got to judge all day,
Speaker 2: if I got to compare all day, and I'll say
Speaker 2: this last piece about it, it's mentally exhausting. Remember it's
Speaker 2: a thousand decisions. I just made a thousand decisions. No wonder,
Speaker 2: no wonder. You get at the end of the day
Speaker 2: and you're like, I just don't know why I don't
Speaker 2: take more action. I don't know why I didn't decide
Speaker 2: to write that book. I don't know why I decide
Speaker 2: I didn't decide to write the song today. I didn't
Speaker 2: know why I did. You know why you didn't decide
Speaker 2: to do anything? Your decision bank account is bankrupt because
Speaker 2: you gave away all your decisions to each scroll and
Speaker 2: you do I didn't even know it. You're mentally fatigued,
Speaker 2: you're not unhappy, You're exhausted.
Speaker 1: And I think it's a thief in the night. In
Speaker 1: other words, we don't see it happening. It doesn't break
Speaker 1: in in the middle of the day. Hey, here, I
Speaker 1: am to steal your joy. I had so many many
Speaker 1: thoughts about what you were saying that I will not
Speaker 1: possibly be able to recap it as well as you
Speaker 1: just said it. But let me ask you if I
Speaker 1: heard this part right, Judgment destroys joy. When I'm wired
Speaker 1: for judgment, it destroys my capacity for joy. And number two,
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't lose my joy, like, oh I've lost
Speaker 1: my joy? What happened? No, I leaked it little by little,
Speaker 1: scroll by scroll, swipe by swipe, thing that I took
Speaker 1: to heart by thing that I took to heart. Why
Speaker 1: that's important to me is I don't want to just
Speaker 1: approach this like a crisis management situation, when really it's
Speaker 1: about decisions in the moment and training yourself. The training
Speaker 1: piece is huge, because I'm not only taking responsibility for
Speaker 1: my emotions, but the fact that if I'm not in
Speaker 1: a good place, I am not.
Speaker 2: Going to be any good.
Speaker 1: Two or four of those around me that I'm called
Speaker 1: to serve. So for those who think it's selfish, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get it. The idea of just be happy at
Speaker 1: all costs, or just make yourself happy, or after all
Speaker 1: you deserve to be happy, Yeah, that can start to
Speaker 1: get kind of empty for those of us who know
Speaker 1: that there's a bigger purpose. And sometimes I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: be sad because what I saw was sad, what I
Speaker 1: went through was sad. Sometimes I'm supposed to have seasons
Speaker 1: where I don't feel the most excited, and some of
Speaker 1: those fallow seasons in my life led to the more
Speaker 1: fertile seasons.
Speaker 2: And I have to learn to embrace that. So my
Speaker 2: joy is my job.
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean I'm always reaping blessings and singing praises. No,
Speaker 1: sometimes it means I'm sowing in tears. But guess what
Speaker 1: the Bible also teaches those who sow in tears will
Speaker 1: reap enjoy. Now think about that. What is sewing it's
Speaker 1: work and what is the consequence joy? I reap enjoy
Speaker 1: when I sow in tears, which is why I want
Speaker 1: you to work on this. That's why I go to therapy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not a confessional. I'm actually saying that, like I
Speaker 1: tell you that I do physical exercise, of course I
Speaker 1: work on my mind.
Speaker 2: Of course I have to use that thing all the time.
Speaker 1: I don't have to do bicep curls to live, but
Speaker 1: I have to think to live. I have to think
Speaker 1: to speak, I have to think to process my life,
Speaker 1: to decide what to do, to figure out how to respond.
Speaker 1: So of course I'm going to find a gem for
Speaker 1: my mind as a man thinking in his heart, So
Speaker 1: is he? Do you owe this to the God who
Speaker 1: gave you life to take the mind he gave you
Speaker 1: and manage it and just get this as a baseline.
Speaker 1: It's mind to manage, it's mind to manage you. Hear
Speaker 1: this saying sometimes in physical exercise, you can't out train
Speaker 1: a bad diet. Right, That's like a real popular thing.
Speaker 1: I just heard this in our conversation Brendan. You can't
Speaker 1: out gratitude a bad gatekeeper.
Speaker 2: M h.
Speaker 1: If you're just letting stuff in, letting stuff in, letting
Speaker 1: stuff in, yeah, I'm gon fix it with a journal
Speaker 1: for two minutes, even if it does have a cat
Speaker 1: on the cover, and.
Speaker 2: Yourself all day and you're shocked you're not healthy.
Speaker 1: So let's stop letting it in and then just trying
Speaker 1: to pray it out, let it in, pray it out.
Speaker 1: Of Course, we all have to deal with negative things.
Speaker 1: Of course, we're all from time to time gonna watch something,
Speaker 1: see something. Of Course this is not black and white,
Speaker 1: but what is important is that you make a decision
Speaker 1: to own it. And I I just want everybody who's
Speaker 1: a part of this. I feel like this do the
Speaker 1: new you mentality. It starts out sounding surface like okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll do the new me, have my running shoes, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get after it. And this guy you know, knew me,
Speaker 1: knew me, knew me.
Speaker 2: I've heard it before.
Speaker 1: And then you start to realize, oh, it's not just
Speaker 1: that I'm going to start doing things different. It's that
Speaker 1: I am going to discover the me that was there
Speaker 1: all along. And I just want to give you hope
Speaker 1: for this that I believe there is great joy in
Speaker 1: your future. I believe there is great joy in your present.
Speaker 1: I believe that there are amazing things happening in your
Speaker 1: life right now. It's okay if you can't see them.
Speaker 1: I get to a place every once in a while
Speaker 1: where I feel like I can't find anything that goes right.
Speaker 1: But the difference is what do you do when you
Speaker 1: find yourself there?
Speaker 2: Do you stay in it? Do you blame it away?
Speaker 1: I want this to be a pivotal moment in your
Speaker 1: life where you make the decision. My joy is my
Speaker 1: job and it's very difficult to have breakthrough and blame
Speaker 1: at the same time.
Speaker 2: And I want you to get through this.
Speaker 1: Whatever the sadness was, whatever they did to you, whatever
Speaker 1: caused it, I want you to see that there is
Speaker 1: life beyond it. And so for all of us who
Speaker 1: don't wake up singing the Hallelujah chorus, for all of
Speaker 1: us who don't wake up wanting to even see a
Speaker 1: human being, for all of us who feel like our
Speaker 1: mood does this and that and the other, just know
Speaker 1: that God is with you in all of it, and
Speaker 1: he wants to bring forth joy, even if it means.
Speaker 2: You have to sow in tears.
Speaker 1: I want you to get your hard work of happiness mindset.
Speaker 1: Stop thinking is something that's just either going to happen
Speaker 1: or it's not. It's something that's going to come from
Speaker 1: somewhere else. Be a power plant, baby, You got power
Speaker 1: from on high, the power of the Holy Spirit, lives
Speaker 1: in you and the turbine that's your tools, whether it's gratitude,
Speaker 1: whether you're going to put on headphones and walk through
Speaker 1: exactly what Brennan did, bringing gratefulness for people in your
Speaker 1: life into your movement until you realize God has been
Speaker 1: good to me, that you'll do it, and do it
Speaker 1: and do it again until it becomes a part of you.
Speaker 1: The Apostle Paul said, rejoice in the Lord always. I'll
Speaker 1: say it again, Rejoice and again and again and again.
Speaker 1: It's not a one time decision. It's a commitment in
Speaker 1: every moment. I hope this helps you today. I hope
Speaker 1: you feel happy right now. But if you don't, you
Speaker 1: know a few things to do to help you get
Speaker 1: there a little quicker and stay a little longer.
Speaker 2: I'll see you next time. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1: Special thanks to those of you who give generously to
Speaker 1: this ministry. Is because of you that this ministry is possible.
Speaker 1: You can click the link in the description to give now,
Speaker 1: or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information.
Speaker 1: And if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. You
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Speaker 1: social stories and tag us at Elevation Church. Thanks again
Speaker 1: for listening.
Speaker 2: God bless you.