1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I bonded over video games, but now 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: I think he prioritizes them over me. Oh Hi, I 3 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: twenty five female feel like my boyfriend, thirty four male 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: has been neglecting our relationship for video games, especially World 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: of Warcraft. What an adult, mature man he is. We 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: have been together for almost five years now, but how 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: long has he been playing World of Warcraft? Probably long? 8 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: Probably longer? 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 2: Babe wow was here first? 10 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like this past year things have 11 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 1: gotten worse. And this comes from horseshelf on the r 12 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: slash okay store time. 13 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: Separate relationships are temporary World of warcrafts forever. 14 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: The problem is you're not wrong. At first. I feel 15 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: very at first, I feel very loved and care for. 16 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: He would always want to show me places in our 17 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: town that were interesting and take me out on dates. 18 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: We moved in together about six months into our relationship, 19 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: and besides his ex trying to stir up drama, we 20 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: almost never fought with each other. We split chores, okay, 21 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: with me doing sixty percent and him doing forty percent. 22 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 2: That's not equal, It's not it's not okay, no, no, no, 23 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 2: not a. 24 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: Good at all. We both like video games, so we 25 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: often play together. He actually got me into playing World 26 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: of Warcraft with him, which I felt was so fun 27 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: because we were doing it together. He was in school 28 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: when I met him for his associates and finance, and 29 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: I decided to start going back to school for the 30 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: same thing. We ended up getting the credits needed to 31 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: transfer to a four year school to both get a 32 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: bachelor's degree in finance. That's nice, twins twins, little twin, 33 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: but we haven't purchased it yet as it's a big 34 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,759 Speaker 1: financial and time consuming, time consuming burden. They haven't purchased 35 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: the bachelors. Can you just go buy those? I'm guessing 36 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: a tuition might. It's just been a weird way of phrasing. 37 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 3: I know a guy that has his bachelor's degree, but 38 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 3: he doesn't have the formal thing because he hasn't paid 39 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 3: the school his tuition. So we went through the schooling 40 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 3: and everything, but he just doesn't have the paper. 41 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 2: That's that's so funny. Dang, you could probably get someone 42 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 2: to be like mah. 43 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 4: He could photoshop it. 44 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I would do that. 45 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: A big issue in our relationship is that I've almost 46 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 1: always made twice as much money as him. 47 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 2: And he's poor and you're doing more chores. 48 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 1: Oh oh, Prince X says, does he split Bill's sixty 49 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: forty better as well? 50 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,079 Speaker 2: He better? Doesn't seem like it. 51 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: Well, then one could argue if they do the equitable way, 52 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:36,239 Speaker 1: then he then then that is probably closer because he's 53 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,279 Speaker 1: making double his amount. 54 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 2: But no, I know, but it seems like, oh, he 55 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 2: is both making more and more chores. 56 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's contributing all the things. The relationship that he's 57 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:51,919 Speaker 1: just contributing is not level. Yeah, what do you get, gems? 58 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,519 Speaker 2: I don't know. He's like, I'm really good at World 59 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 2: of Warcraft. 60 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: I'm so good Almo four long. 61 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 2: It's like, actually better than doing tours. 62 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,799 Speaker 1: It's so good for you. An example is that if 63 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: we go to an overnight trip, I will pay for 64 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: the hotel, food, activity, while he pays for gas and souvenirs. 65 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 2: That ain't it? So souvenirs are actually not like a 66 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 2: necessary part of the trip. 67 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: Say that to my fridge magnets. You're right, you're right, 68 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: fridge magnet hater. 69 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 2: He's pulling his way. 70 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. I always try to remind myself that if he 71 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 1: had the money, he would pay for these things. But 72 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: he doesn't have it. I also have paid for more 73 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: of our rent. At first, it was the rent until 74 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: we moved into a new apartment where I paid about 75 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: seventy percent to try and make things easier for him. 76 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 2: Damn. 77 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: He worked as a caregiver in a private house, so 78 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: he made minimum wage. I would always encourage him to 79 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: try to make more of himself and to use his 80 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 1: education to find a job that paid him his worth. 81 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: He is going to his bachelor's degree program. Yeah, that's true, 82 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: but the job market where we lived at the time 83 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: was terrible and he has pretty much no options. Okay, 84 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: A big goal of ours is to buy a house. 85 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: We both sat down and talked over our finances and 86 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: realized where we live, northern California, Yeah, a is unaffordable 87 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: and we have to leave this area asap. This is 88 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: about three and a half years into our relationship. The 89 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,359 Speaker 1: cost of a house versus our wages was insane, and 90 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: we couldn't even afford to build the savings together because 91 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: everything was just going forwards living expenses. So we decided 92 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: that I would move to our new area where my 93 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: brother and his family lived, rent a room, find a job, 94 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: and affordable apartment and once I did, he would move 95 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: out there with me. 96 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 2: So they're going to be paying two rents, and is 97 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 2: ope paying for both of them? That's a good question. 98 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like she's moving into another apartment and 99 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: she was paying the rent. 100 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: Yeah it does. I think you might be right, which 101 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: is a little little bag. During that time, he would 102 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: live with his He would live with his parents and 103 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: would work at his job, so we had an income 104 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: still between us and he could save some money out 105 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: So he's going to live with his parents while it yes. 106 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: His new job, however, decided to close down because they 107 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: couldn't afford to replace him, and the woman who ran 108 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: it was only a few years away from retirement. He 109 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: was a caregiver. 110 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 2: Wow. 111 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: Oh right, Yeah, I was like, so his job, his 112 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: job closed down, like the company? Yeah, I guess so 113 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 1: closed down? 114 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 2: Wow. 115 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 1: Okay. That happened three months after I moved out here. 116 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 1: But by the time I had a job an apartment already, 117 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: I had fallen into a bad depression. I was dealing 118 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: with a move, unpacking alone, isolation, rejection from my brother 119 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: who didn't grow up together, so we weren't as close 120 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,679 Speaker 1: as I thought. He, however, didn't move out here right away, 121 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 1: like I thought we had agreed on. He said he 122 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: wanted to hang out with his family and wait for 123 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: winter to be over, since where we was moving to 124 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 1: was a snowy area and it was winter. I mean, 125 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: just put an icy in the comments, guys. 126 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,239 Speaker 2: I mean it's like he's pretty chili there right now. 127 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 2: You no, like God, like the snows so much. 128 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna stay here. 129 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 2: He's like God, northern California, he's nice. Yeah, it's snow here. No. 130 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: So for about three to four months, he lived with 131 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: his paramit with his parents on unemployment, and played video 132 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: games the whole time. There was very little time he 133 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: actually spent with his parents, siblings or friend in that area. 134 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: He was gaming the whole time. 135 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's just living off of their money so he 136 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,280 Speaker 2: doesn't have to pay for rent so he can game. 137 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,720 Speaker 1: Is he preparing to become the biggest twitch streamer of 138 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: the world. 139 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 2: Oh, he's about to drop stream? Yeah content, You're right. 140 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 2: What is he doing? He could be streaming this. 141 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: He could be maybe he's uh monetized, he's just practicing 142 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: his his. 143 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 2: He's just working off the courage. He's a little shy, 144 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 2: that's true. A little shy boy. 145 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: I was begging for him to please move out here 146 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: and he could take his time finding a job. I 147 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 1: just need he did someone here with me because yeah, op, 148 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: he's already paying for the whole rent. Yes, so she's like, 149 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: you might as well just be here with me and yeah, 150 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: like keep me company and then you could just find 151 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: a Like that's so, that's honestly so much better because 152 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: that'll expedite him finding a work opportunity. 153 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 2: Exactly. There's not like he's not looking for anything. There's 154 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 2: no reason for him to not be there right now. 155 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: I called him at least three times a day for 156 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: half an hour just to have someone to talk to 157 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: when I was having bad thoughts. A very important piece 158 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: of side information is that he had a very bad 159 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: history of moving with long distance relationships with his exes. 160 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 2: As in, like he didn't oh is it actually don't 161 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: know what this means. 162 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: He had like a bad experience being long distance with 163 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: an ex moving. 164 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 2: Oh but that's not even what's happening. She's asking him 165 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 2: to move in with her. 166 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: But Babe, Blake, I had a bad experience when you know, 167 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: in the past, Like. 168 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 2: It was real, it was real bad you know bad 169 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 2: was he was so bad. It was really bad when 170 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: I had a long distance relationship, and I don't know, 171 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 2: that's not what's happening here at all, but I have 172 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 2: like trauma from that. But it kind of looks like, 173 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 2: just stay here with my mom. Let me use it. 174 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 2: I love my mom more than you. 175 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: So with his first X, he moved across the US 176 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: to live to live with her after meeting and talking online, 177 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 1: but she catfished him and he ended up moving back 178 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: to our hometown without knowing her after a few months 179 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: of trying to make it work with her. Op is 180 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: literally not a catfish. You knew her in the previous 181 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: town that you were there together. 182 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 2: It's like, I just, I just I'm having a lot 183 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 2: of you know, trouble moving past this past relationship. I 184 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 2: have like I don't know if I could trust you, 185 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 2: even though I've seen you face to face. 186 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: Good, stay in a ditch in your parents' house, then 187 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 1: just just let her go in your little ho My god, 188 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: she he was very financially abusive in an animal hoarder 189 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: slash flipper what so he suffered the whole time there. 190 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: That's insanity. His second ex was also a long distance 191 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: relationship that started online. I almost stopped the pattern. 192 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 2: Stop starting your relationships online if you don't want them 193 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 2: to be long distance good. 194 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: That relationship ended up not working out because she was 195 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: sleeping with a friend who didn't want a relationship with her. 196 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,319 Speaker 1: His third and last ex lived with him in our 197 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: hometown and her family moved across the US to buy 198 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: a cheaper house, and she moved with them because they 199 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: promised to buy her a house. Dam He was supposed 200 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,720 Speaker 1: to move out with her after things settled down, but 201 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,199 Speaker 1: he ended up breaking up with her and had her 202 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: remaining family in the area come get her stuff. 203 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: Wait, but that's exactly what's happening here. He was supposed 204 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 2: to move out with this ex. Yes, they had plans, 205 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,199 Speaker 2: and then he broke up with her. And it feels 206 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,839 Speaker 2: like that's exactly what's happening with op right now. 207 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 1: Baby, This time is different. I need to just different 208 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: be my parents. 209 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 2: For just for a little bit, and maybe in a 210 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 2: couple of months I might break up with you. Let 211 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,199 Speaker 2: me level up my game. 212 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 1: Okay, uh she was. She was physically and emotionally abusive 213 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: as well as a hoarder, so the breakup was justified. 214 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: But badly timed. So we are out here. Wait two 215 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: of his exes for hoarders, Yes, and all three of 216 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: them have like long distance related breakup reasons. I don't 217 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: trust this man, dude, so me moving out here was 218 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: a huge leap of faith and trust in him. Why 219 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: did you do that? You trusted him, girl? I put 220 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: full trust in him that he was going to move here. 221 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: That's a lot more than the zero percent you should have. 222 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 2: He finally did move out here. Oh okay, sorry proved 223 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 2: us wrong and things got worse. Okay. I felt so 224 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 2: horrible about myself. 225 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: I base I had basically bullied him into keeping his 226 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 1: promise of moving out here, and then I had family 227 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: drama on top of that. I ended up hospitalized for 228 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: for three days. I start art on medications that helps 229 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,080 Speaker 1: me feel better, but not at one hundred percent he did. 230 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: He did end up getting a job pretty quickly, but 231 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: it was another low paying caregiving job. I ended up 232 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: losing my job because my company downsized their services to 233 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 1: not offer my job to clients anymore. Oh my gosh. 234 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 1: I was put on severance for a month, but found 235 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 1: an even better paying job in that short time. That 236 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,560 Speaker 1: did give me a big boost of my income. Okay, 237 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: so at least not at least don't better at least 238 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 1: a pease life severance. 239 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 2: And going well. Okay, work life lest work life. 240 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: I love my current job and my coworkers, and the 241 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: benefits are amazing. After working at my new job for 242 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: a while, I somewhat helped my boyfriend get a job 243 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: here as well by name dropping him and his resume. 244 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: He now makes about sixty percent of what I make 245 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: at this job. I still pay more than him in 246 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: our relationship about seventy percent. So now that we both 247 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: live here and have decent jobs, I thought things could 248 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: start to get better and we could go back to 249 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: where it was long before. He only talks to me 250 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 1: about work related stuff and hardly talks to me about 251 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: anything else. Of course, what a jem? 252 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 2: What do you have a comment at this point? Like? What? Like? 253 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 2: Why do you want to be in the relationship? What 254 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 2: is he offering? 255 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,439 Speaker 1: You're getting him the job, he's playing a world of warcraft. 256 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: You're like having to basically. 257 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 2: Begging him for any sort of attention in this relationship. 258 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, it's just making you feel bad, right, Hey, Sophia, 259 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: I have a big surprising block pist right here. Give it. 260 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: He has gotten into video games even more hardcore? How 261 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: even more? 262 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 2: How much hard more hardcore? 263 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 1: Here's how hardcore? How much more hardcore? 264 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: Here it is our chores. 265 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: Split up has now moved to me doing about eighty 266 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,959 Speaker 1: five to ninety of the chores. 267 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,079 Speaker 2: That's just all the chores, babey. 268 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: I clean my controller by like if I like rub 269 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: my thumbs, you know, friction like sheet It's like super 270 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: good cleaning. 271 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 2: And I like clean the clean babe. 272 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 4: I take the trash out and put it beside of 273 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 4: the door. Is that not enough? 274 00:12:59,320 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? 275 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 3: So much. 276 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: I literally had to stop my level because of you. 277 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 2: Heybe, I dropped some water on the floor yesterday. Cleaned 278 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 2: it evaporationation. I actually cleaned the floor by dropping that water. 279 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: You're welcome. 280 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 2: God. 281 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 1: So he will get up and play video games while 282 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: I get up and plan what needs to be done 283 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: and get to work. I will ask him to do smaller, 284 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: simpler things every so often, like clean off the top, 285 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,600 Speaker 1: clean off the top of the fridge, or take the 286 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: trash downstairs. Nothing that takes more than five minutes. But 287 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 1: since he's playing video games, he won't do it right away, 288 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: and says he'll get to it once he reaches a 289 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: breaking point, which I'm very understanding of. 290 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 2: No, why stop being so understanding. He's not a child, dude. 291 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 2: This is such like a child thing to be like, 292 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,319 Speaker 2: Oh no, no, be me. Play more minutes, Play more minutes. Please. 293 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 2: You're an adult, but. 294 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 4: You can't pause online games? 295 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but you don't have to start a 296 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 2: new one. How long is he playing that he can't 297 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 2: do any of his chores. 298 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 4: Can't pause it. 299 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:07,319 Speaker 2: Can't pose it, big, can't pose it. I'll be letting 300 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 2: my teammates down. 301 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 1: Come on, do you want me to do that? 302 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 4: Hips? Floid door a hat? 303 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 2: True? 304 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: Small tasks that I ask him to do then take 305 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 1: an hour or two, or he forgets until I remind 306 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: him again and again. I asked him to clean out 307 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 1: our small shower stall before I clean the rest of 308 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: the bathroom, but he never cleans it, despite it being 309 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: a quick thing that he can do while he's in 310 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: the shower. Oh yeah, just like take his like soaps 311 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: and stuff out of the shower, dude. Small things like 312 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 1: this have been adding up and making me more and 313 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: giving me more and more frustration. I often don't get 314 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: to have downtime for hobbies because of things that I 315 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 1: need to get done while he's playing video games for 316 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: ten to twelve hours a day. 317 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 2: Can't in that time. That's a shift, that's a shift. 318 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: Itn't work his his Uh, when is he working his levels? 319 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 1: His rank is a going to raise itself? 320 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: That is ten to twelve hours a day. How he's 321 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 2: supposed to be crazy number four thy. 322 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: Three hundred and twenty ninth in the world if he's 323 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: not putting in a good freaking twelve. 324 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 2: Hours and nine to nine shift. 325 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, how's he gonna do that? 326 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 2: Sophia shall be shocked. 327 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: We don't go out on dates anymore either, Classy. If 328 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: I suggest and pay for something, we will go out. 329 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: But if I don't bring it up doing something together, 330 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: he will sit and play video games all day. I 331 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: just don't know how to make him see that things 332 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: come before video games our relationship. Our relationship used to 333 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: work good between us, and it felt like video games 334 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: brought us together, and now it's tearing us apart. 335 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,479 Speaker 2: Just crazy. This man is a legit. I like, medically addicted. 336 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 2: Probably ten to twelve hours a day. He hit the 337 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 2: ko combo on a relationship. I'm shocked, shocked. 338 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: I feel still feel like he chose playing video games 339 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: over our relationship and my men health because he kind 340 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: of did. 341 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 2: No he did, and kinda he did he did. 342 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: And now he's choosing video games over chores. I brought 343 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 1: up these issues with money because I feel like he 344 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,800 Speaker 1: doesn't respect my time. I spend a lot of time 345 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: at work and and give up a portion of my 346 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: life for us to live a happy life together with 347 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 1: everything we need. By the way, you could have the 348 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 1: happy life you need by joining us every weekday at 349 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: three pm PSD. Just Tapper Profiles and you can join. 350 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 2: Us live like we are right now, twelve hours a day. 351 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 1: You can talk to us. Yeah, I mean LOGI before 352 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: I feel appreciated and loved. But because of that, I 353 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 1: didn't mind that I was spending more money than him 354 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: and sacrificing things I wanted. But now it feels like 355 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 1: I'm paying for him to play video games while I'm 356 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 1: taking care of everything. I'm at a point where I'm 357 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: saving for us to buy a house together, but I 358 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: don't want to be the person putting a majority of 359 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: the money in If I'm if I'm being helped out 360 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 1: by my partner because video games are more important. I 361 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: know he plays way more than any of his friends 362 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: get to because he tells me, because he tells me 363 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: often that he's playing with strangers because no one else 364 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: is on. 365 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 2: You have no friends prioritized your relationships. 366 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 1: I need advice on what to say or do going 367 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: forward because I really can't keep doing this. So that's 368 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: where that's where we come in. 369 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 2: I'm coming in to say stop doing this. Yeah, kick 370 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 2: him out of your house that you're paying for and 371 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 2: tell him that he needs to figure his life out 372 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 2: because you can't do it for him. 373 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: He can go back home to mommy. 374 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, let him cry. Geez, Louise, he's just taking advantage 375 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,640 Speaker 2: of op. This is ridiculous. 376 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: It's so insane, Like, I, oh, it's I don't. 377 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 2: We've had a lot of stories today that are just 378 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 2: like people staying in these relationships for way longer than 379 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 2: they should be. That's true. It's so sad. 380 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 1: We had a lot of positive ones when when I 381 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 1: wasn't here, they were great, super positive. 382 00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 2: I'm glad. 383 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, the theme of today is relationships that 384 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: you should leave. Yeah, And that's that's really it. Except 385 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: the only thing that maybe, possibly, possibly might be challenging 386 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: is having him move out of the place that she's in. 387 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,479 Speaker 2: I don't think he's on the lease unless I mean, 388 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 2: we don't know for sure. 389 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not sure exactly what the you know, legal 390 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: or whatever ramifications of all that. In some places, it's 391 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: like if you've like lived there for a month, if 392 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 1: you're even if he pays like half of the freaking 393 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 1: you know, water bill or something like that. Yeah, I 394 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:39,640 Speaker 1: don't know, but yeah, just like figure out the most 395 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: effective way break up with him, and then figure out 396 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 1: the most effective way to. 397 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 2: Get him get him out of your place. 398 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: Just send him back home to he loves. 399 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 2: He loves his family, said that his his like four 400 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 2: priorities are his dog, Jim, family in the video game. 401 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 2: So still give it to him. 402 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 1: Hey, you get on that. 403 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like, hey, babe, I want to break up 404 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 2: with you. I also want you to move out, but 405 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 2: I got you a gym membership. 406 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: Good news in California. Congratuate freaking relations and congratulations to 407 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: U Sophia because you're reading this next story. 408 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:20,200 Speaker 2: Ooo, wee, mama, my boyfriend didn't do my laundry. I'm 409 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 2: through with him. 410 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 1: Bump them liked the laundry. 411 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,400 Speaker 2: My boyfriend twenty three male, and I twenty three female, 412 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,880 Speaker 2: moved in together about three months ago. Good wow. When 413 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,920 Speaker 2: we met, he was living with roommates and I was 414 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 2: living on my own. Long story short, the roommate wound 415 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 2: up being a huge jerk and he moved out with me. 416 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 2: As I was moving anyway. He insisted he pay all 417 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 2: the bills, even when the plan was me moving into 418 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 2: his old place, which was a part of the issue. 419 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 2: In the end, I insisted we do fifty to fifty 420 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 2: and he refused because we have a future. I want 421 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 2: to marry you. Why would I have you pay when 422 00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 2: we're building together, et cetera. What I don't fully understand. Uh. Ever, 423 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:08,360 Speaker 2: since we moved in, I've noticed he's wildly inconsiderate. He 424 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 2: eats the last of my things, leaves groceries out to spoil, 425 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 2: and I pay for everything besides the rent. This includes 426 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 2: nearly every date we've been on. By the way, this 427 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 2: comes from stock Entrepreneur eleven on the ar slash Okay 428 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 2: Okay storytime subreddit. It seems like, oh p, like he 429 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 2: convinced her that he was doing this great chivalrous thing 430 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 2: by paying for the rent. Just to get away with 431 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 2: doing nothing else. 432 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 1: That And also my question is with all the other expenses, 433 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 1: groceries going out, all this stuff, does that actually equal 434 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: more than that? And he's kind of like, oh, bit, 435 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 1: keep paying more. Yeah, I got the whole rent. So 436 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 1: like on the surface, it's like, oh wow, he's gonna 437 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: pay the whole rent. But they're like, wait a minute, 438 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 1: are you not my boyfriend? Book up. 439 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,440 Speaker 2: I say this because it's exactly what I mentioned when 440 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 2: I said we should do fifty to fifty. I didn't 441 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 2: want only one of us to have spending money this month. 442 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 2: He came to me on the first and said he 443 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 2: was three hundred dollars short. I'm immediately baffled because where 444 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,679 Speaker 2: is his money going. I find it weird towing the 445 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 2: line of his finances and what's an appropriate amount for 446 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: me to ask about them. He's the first person I've 447 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 2: really lived with, but there's been a few times he 448 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 2: has told me about him loaning people money after initially 449 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:37,479 Speaker 2: hiding it. That's it's so frustrating when you want to 450 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,480 Speaker 2: like have equal finances and like equal shares and stuff, 451 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 2: and then a person's like, oh no, no, no, I'll take 452 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,679 Speaker 2: it all on and then they can't. They can't do it, 453 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,400 Speaker 2: they can't do it, and then it just goes back 454 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 2: on to you. 455 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like we could have like avoided all 456 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: of the headache in the first place we had just 457 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 1: split it equally. 458 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:58,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like weird chivalrous or not even like chivalry. 459 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 2: It's just like this, like I need to do this 460 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,239 Speaker 2: because I'm a man. 461 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,479 Speaker 1: It's like entice chivalry, where it's like you do something 462 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 1: to like seem chivalrous, but it's actually self It's it's actually. 463 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:12,160 Speaker 2: Self interest exactly. I'm talking amounts around the same three 464 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 2: hundred dollars. He was short for rent and this is 465 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,120 Speaker 2: what he's loaning people. With all due respect, my boyfriend 466 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 2: is a mintdumb. Yes, he doesn't realize the cost of things. 467 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 2: Doesn't give me any credit for the things I do 468 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 2: or respect the money I spend on our home. He's inconsiderate. 469 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 2: He lies, and I'm planning to be done when our 470 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 2: lease is up. Period. He's a period. I can't snap, John, 471 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 2: can you stop for me? Period? 472 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: Thank you? 473 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 2: He's aware I'm at my breaking point. Regardless, I paid 474 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 2: the three hundred dollars as our apartment had sent us 475 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,159 Speaker 2: a gift card that day. Anyway, your apartment sent you 476 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 2: a gift card. 477 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 4: Dang. 478 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 3: I wish my landlords would send me gift cards. 479 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 2: I'm not your liable. 480 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 3: I'm not saying you say the people I pay rent too. 481 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 3: I wish they would it. 482 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 2: Worried me. I applied for a place alone. I told 483 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 2: him when we were hunting for places that this one 484 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 2: was too expensive, three hundred dollars over his budget. Over 485 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 2: his budget to be exact, because he set the budget 486 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 2: because he is the one paying the rent. Right Yet 487 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 2: he insisted refuse to even consider anything else. A few 488 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 2: nights ago, he tells me he needs my help with rent. No, 489 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 2: just this month, indefinitely. I said, it's not the expectation. 490 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 2: He said that we picked this place because of him, 491 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 2: when my top pick was four hundred dollars cheaper at least. 492 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 2: He claims his previous statements about wanting to take care 493 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 2: of us only applied to his last place, and this 494 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 2: was different. To be as clear as possible, I know 495 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 2: what his bills are for the month, and I know 496 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,199 Speaker 2: his income. He was like, no, I actually meant. I 497 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 2: meant that I would pay last time, and I know 498 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 2: I didn't like communicate that the rules were changing, but 499 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 2: they are now because I it broke. I'm communicating it now, 500 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 2: like baby, like, what do you mean? 501 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: I feel like, oh, I'll cover This's like I meant 502 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,119 Speaker 1: when I said I covered this, Like I meant like 503 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,120 Speaker 1: this month, are you like early like stupid or something. 504 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 2: Like tom, I meant I'd covered this, and you cover 505 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,879 Speaker 2: everything and then you also cover this how it works. 506 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 2: It works. It's fair. Come on not having rent even 507 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 2: with it being over budget. It doesn't even make sense 508 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,680 Speaker 2: that he doesn't have it. I told him, he said 509 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 2: I wanted to go fifty to fifty in the beginning. Uh, 510 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 2: And he insisted him paying was because he saw us 511 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 2: having a future. So by his logic, he no longer does. 512 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 2: And that's the sudden change. Okay, so ops saying originally 513 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 2: him paying was seeing that they had a future in 514 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,680 Speaker 2: the relationship, and now because he can't pay or doesn't 515 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 2: want to pay, there is no future for relationship. 516 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 1: It's like a contract where it's like it's like, hey, babe, Blake, 517 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 1: if I'm just like not feeling it, then it's like, hey, 518 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm not in it for life. And I know when 519 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,200 Speaker 1: I start like right now, I'm just like not feeling 520 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:00,679 Speaker 1: so you could you just like for everything. 521 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, I know that we're both on the lease, 522 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,960 Speaker 2: but if I'm not feeling it, I'm taking myself off 523 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 2: the lease. 524 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 1: I signed the least of the apartment, but you're no 525 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 1: longer on the lease of. 526 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 2: My horror and that's legally binding. That's legally binding. Yeah, 527 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 2: he claims it's not that and he just needs help, 528 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 2: and I'm exasperated with him being inconsiderate on top of 529 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 2: all this, I think it's fair that I tell him 530 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 2: he'll need to start buying his own groceries and I'll 531 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,680 Speaker 2: continue buying mine. Very fair. If you're splitting the rent, 532 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 2: then just split everything else. Come on, now, it's always 533 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 2: something with groceries. Either I didn't buy something of his 534 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 2: that he didn't tell me we were out of, or 535 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 2: he eats the whole box of zebra cakes. What are 536 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,119 Speaker 2: zebra cakes? 537 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: And zebra cakes? 538 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,680 Speaker 2: He's the whole box. What are cakes? 539 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: It's like they're like kind of like twinkies with chocolate 540 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 1: covering a little bit kind of a vibe. 541 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 2: Like white chocolate. Yeah, it's like white chocolate. 542 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,399 Speaker 1: It's like black and white chocolate stripe little cakes. Oh, 543 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:04,360 Speaker 1: it's like they're good, but like, you know, actually terrible. Yeah, 544 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: it's like great when you're a kid, Like this is gross. 545 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 2: This is not that good. In twenty four hours wow, 546 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 2: and drinks three cans of soda and a set in 547 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 2: a sitting simply because it's there. 548 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: Oh gosh. 549 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 2: Then he downplays the significance of me keeping our kitchen 550 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,640 Speaker 2: well stocked and says, I'm policing the food. My logic 551 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,880 Speaker 2: is he's just added an issue by switching up our agreement, 552 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,120 Speaker 2: So why not alleviate the extra tension by handling one 553 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,880 Speaker 2: issue before we take on another, and with a resolution 554 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 2: that saves me money? At that for reference, I'm spending 555 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,879 Speaker 2: around one K on groceries a month and cooking nearly 556 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 2: every night. Oh my god, jesuz louis, what are we 557 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:52,400 Speaker 2: doing here with this guy? Oh my god, this guy sucks. 558 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 2: It's still not enough and there are never leftovers because 559 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 2: he eats everything immediately after I cook it every time. 560 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 2: So to show him just how hard mentally and financially 561 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,880 Speaker 2: it is to accommodate that kind of greed, I think 562 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 2: he should have to get his own groceries. 563 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 1: Yes, literally, yes, cook you for yourself. 564 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 2: Maybe it's petty, don't care. I'm fine with paying my way. 565 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,639 Speaker 2: I'm just asking that he pay his and just because 566 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 2: I think it's funny, I'm sitting on a couch behind 567 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 2: him as he sits playing the game in front of 568 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 2: the TV. I asked if he could buy dinner. He 569 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,160 Speaker 2: says he's broke. He's been too broke to even pay 570 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 2: for dinner for over a month. Lol. 571 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,399 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you just broke, babe. 572 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 2: That's not You can't just use that as an excuse. 573 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: I'm just broke. 574 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,439 Speaker 2: Figure it out. Your partner is not like yours to, 575 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,400 Speaker 2: you know, financially abuse and make them pay for everything. 576 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 2: It's supposed to be a partnership. But like the thing is, 577 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,679 Speaker 2: I'm broke. Usually I don't know any I'm not really 578 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 2: liquid right now. 579 00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:02,120 Speaker 1: Sorry, I have it all tied up based on these games. 580 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 1: Have you ever heard of dotgecoy. 581 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 2: I'm kind of doing like a stock thing. It's good, 582 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 2: it's good to appreciate. 583 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 1: I thought was a stock thing. 584 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 2: Stock thing. Update. So I wanted to clarify some things 585 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,880 Speaker 2: first because it seems a lot of you feel I'm 586 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 2: being taken advantage of it's not that I feel so 587 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:32,120 Speaker 2: much as you are. My financial situation has significantly improved 588 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 2: since we met. I work for myself, so I've never 589 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 2: had the kind of income someone could get comfortable taking 590 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 2: advantage of, as every week is different. He was the 591 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 2: stable one, n I'll understand. He was the stable one 592 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 2: until I became more consistently well paid about two months ago. 593 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 2: If anything, I moved in because he was going to 594 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 2: pay all the bills, So I feel like I'm more 595 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 2: the user than him. But the thing is that he's 596 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 2: the user in practice. Basically what she's saying, she's like, oh, guys, 597 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 2: he's not taking advantage of me because originally he was 598 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:13,120 Speaker 2: paying for the rent and that's why I moved in, 599 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 2: So I was actually going to use him, but he's 600 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 2: using her now, So it's that's Nolan Voyane. 601 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 1: And plus it was like a it was the split 602 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,640 Speaker 1: in agreement, like I feel like. 603 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 2: And also OP literally said let's do fifty to fifty 604 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 2: and he insisted, no, I'm going to pay for the rent. 605 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 2: So it wasn't even Op like, you have to pay 606 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 2: everything for me, I insist, or I'm not moving in. 607 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 2: That wasn't That wasn't the sitch. That wasn't it that? Oakay, 608 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 2: let's get back to this next graph. Let's do look 609 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 2: at this graph. Sorry, y'all also seemed to think I 610 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 2: have no backbone little skull emoji. I wish y'all knew me, 611 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 2: so you know how untrue that is. I'm very blunt 612 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 2: and honest, some would say mean. When Nessa before y'all's 613 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 2: comments had even started, I ended up blurting out for 614 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 2: him to start buying his own things. He was offended. 615 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 2: If you can believe that I mentioned his waste of 616 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 2: things and how much that costs. He said, it's just 617 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:18,480 Speaker 2: as bad how I buy several things. He's like, you're 618 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 2: always buying groceries. 619 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, like you literally, like, are you kidding when 620 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 1: you come up with like bags of like stuff money, You're. 621 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 2: Spending one thousand dollars on all of these useless food things. 622 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 2: Just let them starve, lucky literally walk it away. A 623 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 2: lot of. 624 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 3: Putting one thousand dollars in useless food. They had this 625 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,959 Speaker 3: new war to warcraft horse. 626 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 1: Wait, is this the new armor? 627 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 2: Are we still in the We're not on the We're 628 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,760 Speaker 2: not on that story anymore? 629 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 4: Or are we? 630 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 2: Oh? 631 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 4: Never mind, I thought we were on this. 632 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 2: I actually got confused. I was like, is this guy 633 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 2: playing video games? 634 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: I was just strolling with it. 635 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 2: Ironically, I do that when he's left something out and 636 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 2: I don't want to throw it away, but am too 637 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,160 Speaker 2: scared to eat it. I have a crippling fear of 638 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 2: getting sick and not being able to eat, stems from 639 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 2: a bad bout of pneumonia flu combo I had almost 640 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,959 Speaker 2: a year ago where I lost thirty pounds and couldn't 641 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 2: gain any back for eight months. Also, I buy it. WTF, 642 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 2: So I said that, Plus, maybe if you paid for something, 643 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 2: you could be at me about how about how much 644 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 2: of anything I buy? But no, because I buy it, 645 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,720 Speaker 2: and I buy it because you leave everything out until 646 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 2: it's bad. So now what do you have to say, 647 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 2: which I think OP is saying. If you were paying 648 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,720 Speaker 2: for groceries, then maybe you could whine to me. But 649 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 2: I'm paying for my groceries, so I get to decide 650 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 2: what I do with them. 651 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 652 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 2: Yes, And as expected, he had nothing of value to say, 653 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 2: just started whining. I nag about everything. I don't care. 654 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,520 Speaker 2: He offered to do my laundry last night. And here's 655 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 2: the title of the story. Uh oh. Unbeknownst to me, 656 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 2: he left his laundry in the wash a week ago 657 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 2: that was s melon funky. So he did that load first, 658 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 2: totally didn't put mine in, got up, left for work, 659 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: didn't mention that my clothes for today, an important day 660 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 2: at work, were never washed. I text him about it 661 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,480 Speaker 2: as I'm now doing laundry at six am. His response, 662 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, He apologized. Sorry, good to go, first step. 663 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 2: Sorry after ruining my sleep before a twelve hour straight 664 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 2: work day over laundry. Girl, he's taking advantage of you. 665 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,680 Speaker 1: What redeeming qualities does he have at all? 666 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,959 Speaker 2: Nothing? The funny thing is that op he is like, oh, guys, 667 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 2: I don't know what you're talking about. Like, he's not 668 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 2: taking advantage of me. I stand up for myself when 669 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 2: he does all these horrible things. Take a look at 670 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 2: the stuff that you're writing about. There's no redeeming qualities 671 00:32:55,800 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 2: about this guy. But there are redeeming qualities about you. 672 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 2: If you join us live every weekday at three PMPST 673 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 2: just to have a profile do it after I was 674 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 2: hesitant to even allow him to do it because I 675 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,719 Speaker 2: just knew something wouldn't be done in terms of laundry. 676 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 2: I know my soulmate wouldn't inconvenience me at every opportunity. 677 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 2: My soulmate wouldn't need me to nag. My soulmate wouldn't 678 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 2: be driving me slowly insane with his thoughtlessness. I know 679 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,800 Speaker 2: it's as good as over. I'm just trying to time 680 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 2: things well from minimal drama. I really appreciate all the 681 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 2: constructive and on topic advice. A lot of y'all sound 682 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,719 Speaker 2: like angry little goblins in the comments. Please relax. This 683 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 2: has never been all that serious to me. I've been 684 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 2: able to put back a significant amount of money and 685 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:48,080 Speaker 2: upgrade my whole life these three months. Trust life will 686 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 2: go on more than fine without him thinking Now, my 687 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 2: angle on the rent will be show me where the 688 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,800 Speaker 2: money's going. If you want me to help, we'll see 689 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 2: how that goes. Show me where the money's going. Put 690 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,680 Speaker 2: the money in the bag. Put the money in the bag, 691 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 2: give it to the landlord, and then we'll talk. Put 692 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,239 Speaker 2: the relationship in the bag, and put the relationship in 693 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,480 Speaker 2: the bag. Throw it in the laundry and forget about it. 694 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, soggy, moldy, wet, so you gotta throw it in 695 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: a yup and that 696 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:19,080 Speaker 2: Is the end of that story.