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Speaker 1: Adrian. Listen to me, brother, She's gone. What's up? Everybody?

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast, episode one sixty one. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: being here. I love doing this stuff. I'm answering your questions.

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Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. You could ask me

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Speaker 1: anything as if we're just sitting in a truck riding

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Speaker 1: down a road and you say, hey, man, got this thing.

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Speaker 1: Something's been going on in my life and I was

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Speaker 1: wondering if you could help me with it, and I

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Speaker 1: can give you advice. I'm not always right about it,

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Speaker 1: but we could talk about it as if we're good

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Speaker 1: old friends. And that's honestly how I feel about this podcast,

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Speaker 1: and that's why I still do it this many episodes later.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get right to the first question here,

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Speaker 1: and the subject line says, man, is that how I guess? So,

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Speaker 1: Subjecline says, Wife and Bible Reading, Like I want to say,

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Speaker 1: I don't have notes on this stuff. I don't have preparation,

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Speaker 1: so we're just going blind and that's what we do

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Speaker 1: every episode. Wife and Bible Reading, Ey Granger's. My name

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Speaker 1: is Jesse. I'm twenty seven years old from Canon City, Colorado.

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Speaker 1: I recently asked my wife if she would be willing

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Speaker 1: to listen to Bible readings on audio. But she said

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Speaker 1: that she's really sorry, but that's just not something that

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Speaker 1: we can share together, even though she believes in God

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Speaker 1: from a spiritual standpoint rather than a religious one. I

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Speaker 1: love her so much. We've been together for five years

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Speaker 1: and married for three months. How do I handle her

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Speaker 1: not wanting to read the Bible but still have a

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Speaker 1: belief in God that doesn't involve me leaving? I love

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Speaker 1: her too much for that to be an option. She

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Speaker 1: did say that she wouldn't mind if I read it

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Speaker 1: with our daughter, and then once she's old enough, allow

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Speaker 1: her the opportunity to learn for herself, inspect whatever belief

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Speaker 1: she may have later in life. Thanks Levy Music and

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Speaker 1: your podcast. Jesse. All right, Jesse, thanks for the email. Buddy.

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Speaker 1: Let me recount just from my own brain. Here, you're

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Speaker 1: twenty seven years old, you're almost twenty eight. You are

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Speaker 1: you've been together five years with this girl, married for

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Speaker 1: only three months, and yet you have a daughter. Okay,

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Speaker 1: did he say how old your daughter is? No? No? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: so I kind of got it here. So my first question,

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Speaker 1: like if we were riding the truck together, Jesse, I'd

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Speaker 1: be I would say, is this something? Is this something

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Speaker 1: you thought about before three months ago? Just throwing that

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Speaker 1: out there. That's no, I'm not throwing any shade on you, brother,

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Speaker 1: but just kind of wondering in general, just for the

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Speaker 1: other people that are listening to the podcast as well,

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Speaker 1: like is this something that you should talk about? Say? Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's something you should talk about before you get married

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Speaker 1: and then subsequently before you have a daughter. It's it's

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Speaker 1: important stuff. But here's where I'm gonna go. This might

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Speaker 1: be a going I'm gonna go a different direction than

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Speaker 1: you than you might think I'm gonna go. And I

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Speaker 1: want you to, first of all, understand that divorce is

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Speaker 1: not an option. It's just not an option. That's that's

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Speaker 1: something culture and society is going to tell you, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you can figure out all you can and if it

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Speaker 1: doesn't work, then your next option is leaving you. You

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Speaker 1: basically said that what's my options besides leaving? Leaving is

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Speaker 1: not an option. Here's what I'm gonna say to you.

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Speaker 1: And there's been on my mind. I fly airplanes a lot,

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Speaker 1: and when I'm when I'm on an airplane, the flight

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Speaker 1: attendant says, before we take off, if you are sitting

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Speaker 1: next to a small child, put the oxygen mask on

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Speaker 1: yourself for first, before the child, because you can't you

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Speaker 1: can't help the child if you don't have oxygen. So

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Speaker 1: put the oxygen mask on first. So that's what I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say about this, you and your family and your wife.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, stop worrying right now about her reading

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Speaker 1: the Bible. That's basically what this whole email is about,

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Speaker 1: is you're worried about her reading the Bible. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: worry about that right now. Like, you're married, you're in this,

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Speaker 1: you got a daughter, you're you're far down the road.

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Speaker 1: I would put the oxygen mask on you first. Nothing

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Speaker 1: is going to change in this family until you are

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Speaker 1: stable and you're getting oxygen. You're breathing well. So I

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Speaker 1: want you to dive into the Bible. I want you

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Speaker 1: to make a routine every single morning without skipping. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna read this Bible, and you're gonna start in a

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Speaker 1: logical location like Matthew one or maybe John one or

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Speaker 1: Luke want somewhere in the Gospel, maybe Genesis, a logical place.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna start there and You're gonna work your way

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Speaker 1: forward every single morning. And I'm gonna say one chapter,

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Speaker 1: that's super easy, one chapter. But you're not gonna skip.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna do this before work. You're gonna do this

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Speaker 1: around your wife, in the presence of your daughter in

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Speaker 1: the house. You're gonna do this, and you're never gonna skip.

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Speaker 1: And if she asks you why you're doing it, say,

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Speaker 1: it's my it's my oxygen. This is not just like

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Speaker 1: a spiritual god. This is not just like a way

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Speaker 1: of life to make me feel better, like self help

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Speaker 1: or something. No, this is life and death. That's what

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Speaker 1: it says in the book. So that's why I'm reading it,

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Speaker 1: and do that enough times. Let's build up some time,

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Speaker 1: Let's build up some consistency until she's finally like, okay, fine,

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Speaker 1: what does it say in there? What does it say

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Speaker 1: you go here every single morning you're reading? Like, what

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Speaker 1: can it possibly say? Like? How boring do I think

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Speaker 1: it is? That I can't imagine you being there every

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Speaker 1: single day in the same book and it's been like

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Speaker 1: three years now. That's that's a pretty good that's a

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Speaker 1: pretty good approach, and that might work on her. It

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Speaker 1: might not, but that's irrelevant because I want you to

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Speaker 1: get yourself, get yourself tied up. That's what I want

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Speaker 1: you to do right now. That's my mission for you

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Speaker 1: to stop worrying about her Jesse. All right, let's move

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Speaker 1: on here. Next question, subject on I'm telling our future

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Speaker 1: kids about Santa. I'm assuming we don't have any kids listening,

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Speaker 1: young kids listening right now. If you do, you might

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Speaker 1: want to might want to get them, get them. You know,

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Speaker 1: if you're listening in the car and you got young

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Speaker 1: kids right now, may not want to play this right now. Okay, question,

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Speaker 1: Let's see what it says. Question. Hey Grander, A big

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Speaker 1: fan of the show and your music. My girlfriend Abby

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Speaker 1: and I are discussing what stance we should take with

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Speaker 1: the decision of introducing our future kids to Santa Claus.

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Speaker 1: Are just solely telling them the real meaning of Christmas

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Speaker 1: christ Birth. We are both Christians and we take God's

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Speaker 1: word very seriously. We both agree that it's important to

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Speaker 1: talk about these kind of topics before. After all, dating

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Speaker 1: is the purpose of finding a spouse. Hey, great, Yes,

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Speaker 1: you're talking about stuff before you get married. That's exactly

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Speaker 1: the email we just came out of. Thank you. That's amazing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I love that. I love it you say. We both

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Speaker 1: agree that it's important, and we're both hoping to seek

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Speaker 1: some wise counsel from you seeing as that we're kind

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Speaker 1: of stumped. I hope that you're having a great day.

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Speaker 1: God blessed Hunter, Hunter. Thanks for the email, brother, and

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Speaker 1: kudos to you talking about subjects like this before you

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Speaker 1: get married. I mean, like it's a big deal. So

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Speaker 1: I feel like somebody correct me if I'm wrong. I

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Speaker 1: speaking to myself here. I feel like this is becoming

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Speaker 1: a bigger deal now than it was when I was

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Speaker 1: a kid. The idea of should we introduce kids to

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Speaker 1: Santa at all? Like should we just keep it completely

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Speaker 1: out of Christmas? I'm not talking about should we involve

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Speaker 1: Sanna a little bit and tell them about Saint Nicholas

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Speaker 1: and the gifts that he gave to children, or should

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Speaker 1: we just never bring it up, like it's not part

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Speaker 1: of the deal at all. That feels like that's a

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty two thing right now, obviously. Okay. Yes, I

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Speaker 1: know that Santa has not always been around, and I

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Speaker 1: know that if we go back one hundred years, Santa's

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Speaker 1: reduces big time. But I'm just saying as far as

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Speaker 1: the last fifty years, this is really a topic. Now

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Speaker 1: here's the deal, you say. Let me say this first.

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Speaker 1: I do not believe you and your wife, your future

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Speaker 1: wife Hunter. You guys seem like you're super grounded, and

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Speaker 1: I don't think you're going to mess this up either way.

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Speaker 1: I think you could do it in a way that

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Speaker 1: you build the narrative the way you want to build

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Speaker 1: it in your house keeping christ first, and you not

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Speaker 1: make it the center of everything that you do. And

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Speaker 1: I also think it would be great to just not

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Speaker 1: bring it up at all. It's not part of it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you're starting from scratch, the kids aren't

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Speaker 1: going to know the difference. Ever, my kids growing up

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Speaker 1: without Sanna are not less off than kids that did

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Speaker 1: have Sanna. They don't. It's not like they meet up

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Speaker 1: in school and go, now, my Christmas sucks, how's yours? Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's amazing Because I have Sannah. That conversation doesn't happen.

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Speaker 1: I think kids grow up without Sanna and love Christmas

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Speaker 1: just as much, just as much joy, and probably have

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Speaker 1: a bit better idea of where that joy comes from.

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Speaker 1: In my opinion, I personally did grow up with Sanna,

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Speaker 1: and so my parents are amazing. I love my mom

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Speaker 1: and dad, and I don't think that they messed up

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Speaker 1: at all by having Santa Claus part of my young life.

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Speaker 1: But we did take it out of our kids life,

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Speaker 1: and we're not going to bring it to Maverick's life

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Speaker 1: just because. Although I think it's possible and parents could

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Speaker 1: do it great and I was raised that way, I

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Speaker 1: think there is a chance of messing it up. There

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Speaker 1: is a chance of making Sanna a bigger deal than

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Speaker 1: it should be, and I would rather say I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna risk it. I'm not gonna risk shifting the focus

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Speaker 1: of what this day means. So we're not gonna do

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Speaker 1: with math. And I think he's I know he's gonna

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Speaker 1: be fine. He's gonna love Christmas every year and he's

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Speaker 1: got two siblings that are gonna make sure that he does.

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Speaker 1: So Yeah, I think it's totally up to you. And

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Speaker 1: I think it's a great conversation you're having and it's

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Speaker 1: something to discuss, and I don't really think you can

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Speaker 1: go wrong either way, and I would lean towards why

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Speaker 1: not don't do it at all? It's another one dext

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Speaker 1: On subject line question for Granger, Hey Granger, I know,

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Speaker 1: I know it's long, but please let me know what

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Speaker 1: your thoughts are. My name is Freddie. I have questions

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Speaker 1: about a relationship that just ended because of faith. I

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Speaker 1: grew up FLDS and I had some terrible experiences with

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Speaker 1: religious beliefs, and when I got out of FLDS when

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Speaker 1: I was sixteen, I pretty much let go of all

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Speaker 1: my beliefs in God and Jesus. About four months ago, though,

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Speaker 1: I met a girl who was everything I could possibly

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Speaker 1: imagine wanting for a wife. She's a friend and a

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Speaker 1: life partner. The only problem was she loves Jesus with

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Speaker 1: all her heart. I don't even know. I don't even

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Speaker 1: know why she did it, but she pursued me even

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Speaker 1: though I didn't have a strong faith, and I tried

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Speaker 1: to keep a distance for a while, but she was

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Speaker 1: just too beautiful and kind and happy. We started dating

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Speaker 1: and she dragged me to church for the first time,

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Speaker 1: and I realized it wasn't like the FLDS. I actually

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Speaker 1: enjoyed it. It made sense, it made me happy, so

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Speaker 1: I kept going and started to build back that faith

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Speaker 1: in God. But there was mistakes along the way. Right

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Speaker 1: up front, she made it clear she wanted to wait

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Speaker 1: until marriage to have sex. I couldn't understand why at

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Speaker 1: the time, and I pushed her into having sex. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't like I forced her. She doesn't blame me for it,

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Speaker 1: but I should have been the strong one and have

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Speaker 1: done what was right. There were some other things that

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Speaker 1: just that I wasn't as supportive with. I really don't

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Speaker 1: I really didn't believe in the Bible and didn't help

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Speaker 1: lead her the right way in her faith. She ended

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Speaker 1: up breaking up with me and broke my heart badly.

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Speaker 1: I gave her all the love I had in me,

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Speaker 1: and she did the same. We both love each other.

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Speaker 1: Neither of us have had experienced a relationship like this.

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Speaker 1: She just needed someone who could lead her in her faith.

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Speaker 1: She felt like she left me and I had nothing,

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Speaker 1: no one to turn to. I had nothing to live for.

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Speaker 1: I turned to Jesus and prayer, and that was the

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Speaker 1: only comfort I had. I realized that I loved her

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Speaker 1: more than anything, and she loved Jesus more than anyone.

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Speaker 1: I realized that I need to love God most of all.

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Speaker 1: I'm still going to church and I can't even explain

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Speaker 1: the love and support I feel from the people that

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Speaker 1: put Jesus first. I'm getting involved and serving and I'm

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Speaker 1: going to get baptized. I want to show God that

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Speaker 1: I'm starting new and I'll live for him. Now. I've

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Speaker 1: been reading my Bible a lot, and I just see

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Speaker 1: everything that she was seeing how beautiful God's way is,

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Speaker 1: and it almost makes me hurt worse to see what

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Speaker 1: I missed. My question for you is I still love her.

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Speaker 1: I want her to know that I truly want to

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Speaker 1: do it the right way. She said She's on God's

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Speaker 1: path wherever that takes her. Is it too late to

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Speaker 1: do for it to be the right way with her?

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Speaker 1: Please let me know what you think. I really appreciate

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Speaker 1: your podcast. Wow, you typically don't read one that long,

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Speaker 1: but that was Freddy. That was kind of fascinating. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I talked to a lot of people in FLDS and

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Speaker 1: reach out to me from this podcast or that I

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Speaker 1: talked to offline somewhere, and I hear similar stories. FLDS.

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Speaker 1: Is it's the real deal. It's uh, it has some

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Speaker 1: serious I don't know why I'm trying to pick my

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Speaker 1: words here, but that's some serious problems, some serious, serious

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Speaker 1: problems in FLDS, and it messes people up really bad.

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Speaker 1: So when I say it's the real deal, I mean

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Speaker 1: it's the real deal, false faith. Say it that way,

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Speaker 1: and your story is fantastic, Freddie, It's amazing what has happened.

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Speaker 1: I'll say this, if if God used this girl to

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Speaker 1: crush you into finally seeing him who he is, then

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Speaker 1: that that sounds like right in line with the character

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Speaker 1: of God, that he would take a man and dangle

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Speaker 1: this this beautiful girl and show him the love and

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Speaker 1: the beauty of Christ, and then strip her away because

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Speaker 1: you weren't getting it, like you weren't getting it, So

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Speaker 1: then take her away, strip you down to nothing where

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Speaker 1: you hit rock bottom, and then slowly redeem you, restore you,

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Speaker 1: build you back up so that all you had was him,

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Speaker 1: so that all you relied on was Him at that point.

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Speaker 1: That sounds like the character of God. And right there, Hey,

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Speaker 1: the story with her could end right there, and it's

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Speaker 1: still a huge victory. You see what I mean. Like,

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Speaker 1: you're right now, you're on the path, Now you're ready,

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Speaker 1: you're ready for a girl. And so if she's out

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Speaker 1: of a picture completely man, victory, you're claiming victory already.

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Speaker 1: You've been restored you've been redeemed. Now your eyes are open,

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Speaker 1: you see the light. It's pretty cool. But it might

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Speaker 1: not be done with her either. I think, what here's

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Speaker 1: an example of this. Sometimes I get emails and I

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Speaker 1: think to myself, this email is the answer. This is

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Speaker 1: you use this for her, like you write a letter,

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Speaker 1: handwritten letter, put in her mailbox, and it's like, this

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Speaker 1: is this is how I feel. I want you to

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Speaker 1: know what I mean all this stuff that you said.

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Speaker 1: I love her. I want to show her that I

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Speaker 1: truly want to do it the right way. That's what

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Speaker 1: you want, and so all you have to do is

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Speaker 1: tell her that in an authentic, genuine, vulnerable way with

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Speaker 1: your voice or your handwriting. Tell her that we see

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Speaker 1: what happens. And I'm sitting here telling you right now.

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Speaker 1: If it doesn't work out, you are still claiming victory.

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Speaker 1: Let's sit one more here. I grande her. My name

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Speaker 1: is Adrian. I'd like to stay anonymous. I just got

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Speaker 1: out of a relationship. The girl said she needed some

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Speaker 1: space and needs some time to fix herself. She said

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Speaker 1: she'd like to get back together in the future, and

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Speaker 1: I would too. It has been really hard. I don't

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Speaker 1: really have anyone to talk to, and I need some guidance.

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Speaker 1: I keep texting her and I get worried about her

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Speaker 1: safety all the time. Adrian, listen to me, brother, she's gone.

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Speaker 1: She said, she needs space and time to fix herself,

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Speaker 1: and she would like to get back together in the future.

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Speaker 1: She said all those things to go. Gentle on your

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Speaker 1: heart because it was too difficult to look you in

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Speaker 1: the eye and tell you the truth. She's moved on.

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Speaker 1: She's not into you anymore. And I say that with

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Speaker 1: tough love, because I do genuinely love you, and I

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Speaker 1: feel the sincerity in your email, and I know you're

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Speaker 1: being genuine and you're really hurting right now, and you're

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Speaker 1: actually really wondering and questioning. But I'm here to tell

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Speaker 1: you the best thing I could do is rip this

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Speaker 1: band aw it off and say, brother, she is gone.

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Speaker 1: She has used a well known excuse, and she did

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Speaker 1: it to protect you, and it actually hurt you. At

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Speaker 1: the same time. What she thought was protecting you is

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Speaker 1: actually making this wound deeper and harder to recover from.

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Speaker 1: What you need to do right now is stop texting her.

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Speaker 1: You said you're worried about her safety all the times

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Speaker 1: she's going to be fine. She's going to be just fine.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't need a protector right now. You could let

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Speaker 1: it go, move on, stop, put the phone down, stop

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Speaker 1: texting she's gone, or take a break and be right back.

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Speaker 1: All right, welcome back to the podcast. Let's get to

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Speaker 1: these questions. I'm answering your questions email me Grangersmith podcast

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Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Could be about any set I

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Speaker 1: ask you only keep it relatively short. I don't need

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Speaker 1: all the information to discuss this. And my second thing

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Speaker 1: is just don't send the same email twice Grangersmith podcast

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Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Let's hit another one here. Subject

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Speaker 1: line says girlfriend e grandear. My name is Jalen. Just

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Speaker 1: want to say I love the podcast. Keep it up. Brother.

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Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend of almost two years and she

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Speaker 1: absolutely adores me. She is loyal and beautiful, although I

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Speaker 1: cannot get rid of the thought that she isn't the

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Speaker 1: one and I have constant thoughts of breaking up. Any

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Speaker 1: advice would be helpful. Thanks Jalen. Okay, Jalen, I feel

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Speaker 1: you man. Thanks for the email. Thanks for being honest here.

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Speaker 1: Let me say, first of all, there is nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: with what you're feeling. I'm gonna I want to just

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that what you're feeling is right. There's nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: with there's nothing immoral about it, there's nothing deceitful about

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Speaker 1: this feeling. Okay. When it starts to become wrong is

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00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 1: when you continue to drag this out. Okay, So I

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Speaker 1: know for a fact, I could tell you, brother Jalen,

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00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 1: I could tell you I know this. I know it

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Speaker 1: for a fact. And anyone can comment. If this message

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Speaker 1: is on social media, you could comment below. And I

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00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 1: promise you that I'm right. When you start feeling what

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Speaker 1: you're feeling right now, you say, I'm starting to think

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Speaker 1: I can't get rid of the thought that she isn't

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Speaker 1: the one, and I have constant thoughts of breaking up.

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Speaker 1: When that comes into your brain, when that worms its

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Speaker 1: way into your head, I promise you it's not going away.

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Speaker 1: I promise you. The only way this ends is by

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Speaker 1: you breaking up. You can never recover from those thoughts. Man,

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00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,399
Speaker 1: you can never get better, you can never go You

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Speaker 1: know what, It's been four years and I used to

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Speaker 1: constantly think of breaking up with her, and I constantly

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Speaker 1: thought she wasn't the one, And now four years later,

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Speaker 1: she actually is the one, and everything's great. I've never

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Speaker 1: seen that happen, So I say that to just reassure

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Speaker 1: you that your feeling is natural. But you need to

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Speaker 1: the best thing for you to do, even though she's

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Speaker 1: beautiful and loyal and it adores you, and it's been

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Speaker 1: two years, even though all that, the best thing, the

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00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 1: loving thing you could do right now is to let

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Speaker 1: her go. And remember the last email I read where

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Speaker 1: the girl says, you know, hey, we're gonna this is

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Speaker 1: gonna work out in the future. Just need some space.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that. The best thing you could do is

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Speaker 1: be honest with her and say I have fallen out

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Speaker 1: of love and I'm so sorry. I wish I could

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Speaker 1: change it. That's how my heart is right now. I

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Speaker 1: wish I could change because I think you're a great girl,

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Speaker 1: and I know you adore me and you're loyal, and

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Speaker 1: don't say he's beautiful, don't build her up that way.

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Speaker 1: But I just I don't feel this anymore, and I

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Speaker 1: want to be honest with you. And guess what, she's

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Speaker 1: gonna hate you for it. She's gonna be mad, very

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Speaker 1: mad at you. It takes a man. It takes a

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Speaker 1: man to be honest and get the punishment you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get back verbal punishment, maybe physical. I don't know her,

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Speaker 1: But what you can't do, Jalen, You can't do what

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Speaker 1: the last email said and say, hey, I just need

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Speaker 1: some space and maybe I got a pretty good idea

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Speaker 1: that we'll work down the road. We'll be good in

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Speaker 1: the future. Got a pretty good hunch if you just

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00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 1: give me this space right here, then you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: like a year or so, I'll call you and we'll

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Speaker 1: be right back where we started. That's a lie, man,

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Speaker 1: Don't do that. The best thing you could do for her,

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Speaker 1: the greatest gift, is just told honesty. I've fallen out

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Speaker 1: of love. I can't you could say what you told me.

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Speaker 1: I cannot get rid of the thoughts that you're not

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Speaker 1: the one and it's not fair to you to date

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Speaker 1: me with me thinking that because you deserve better. You

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00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 1: deserve someone who knows that you're the one. I'm not

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Speaker 1: the guy. I'm not your future husband. Done. That's it,

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Speaker 1: that's the deal. Next question, subject line says is it

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Speaker 1: too early and Grandeur'd like to remain anonymous. I've been

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Speaker 1: with my girlfriend for roughly eight to nine months, though

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00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: we've only been dating for seven months. We both feel

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Speaker 1: as if this is a relationship that will last forever.

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Speaker 1: She is dead set on having kids soon. Is it

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00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,199
Speaker 1: too early? We've only been together for seven months. I'm

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Speaker 1: twenty four, she's twenty five. What are your thoughts? Thanks

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Speaker 1: for everything you do in your podcast and your music, Cole,

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Speaker 1: Cole Brother, thank you for the email. Man. I'm glad that.

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Speaker 1: I'm always glad you guys feel like you could trust

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00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: me with these deep life questions and decisions. I'm very

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00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 1: honored that you do that, and I hope, I hope

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00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 1: that everyone listening could feel the genuine love that I

406
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 1: have for my listeners and the people that write these questions,

407
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:32,479
Speaker 1: and the genuine broken heart that I feel alongside you,

408
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 1: and the genuine joy I feel alongside of you through

409
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Speaker 1: your victories. I say that because Cole, I'm about to

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Speaker 1: give you some tough love. Brother, dude, are you crazy?

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Speaker 1: Are you serious? Right now? If you're my friend cold

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Speaker 1: this we say, if you were my friend and you're

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Speaker 1: in the truck with me, I would I would say, Hey,

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Speaker 1: roll down that window and jump out of this truck

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00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 1: right now, because you're taking up you're taking up some

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00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: air that I can't be breathing right now, bro, with

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00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: this craziness, Cole, I love you, man. I think I

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00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 1: explained that ten seconds ago. But dude, have you listened

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Speaker 1: to this You say you listen to this podcast? Why

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00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: are you thinking about bringing a baby into a relationship.

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00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 1: You haven't even married this girl and you've only dated

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00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 1: for seven months. You're gonna believe her that she's dead

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Speaker 1: set on having kids soon? Are you a man? Step up?

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00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: Are you a man? Are you a leader in this

425
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 1: relationship or a follower? You're just saying, no, we're not

426
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: having kids. No, it's too soon. Yes, it's too soon.

427
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: Here's the reason we're not married. Do you want to

428
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 1: get married? Cole? I'm asking you, do you want to

429
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: marry this girl? She's the one you say you both

430
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: feel like this is a forever relationship. Bro, Go get

431
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: you a ring, put it on her finger, Go to

432
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: the courthouse and get a loped sign the papers. You

433
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: don't have to have a big wedding, you don't have

434
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: to pay money, you don't have to do all this stuff.

435
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: And then when that's done and that is signed, and

436
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: you your husband and wife, this is what you You

437
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: owe this to your future child. You say, Hey, kids,

438
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: we love you so much and we planned for you

439
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 1: so well that we went out of our way because

440
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 1: we love each other to make sure we had everything

441
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: wrapped up and we were married. We had everything done

442
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: because we wanted to be husband and wife, and we

443
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: wanted to prepare this for you so that one day

444
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 1: we could model this for you when you are now

445
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: getting into relationship age. We want to model this for

446
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: you and say look what we did. Col This is

447
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: you man, No, you're not ready? Is it because of

448
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: the seven months? Not necessarily. I don't think that's I

449
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: dated for seven months. I dated Amber for seven months

450
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: before we got engaged, and then a few months later

451
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 1: we got married. So I don't think that that's the time.

452
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: That's the problem. It's she didn't have a ring on

453
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: her finger. Done. Email me back if you're mad at me.

454
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 1: I still think you're crazy, and I still think you

455
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 1: should jump out of a window. All right. Next question,

456
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: Thank goodness. Subject CLIENTE says, lighthearted question. Hey Granger, I

457
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: hope you're having a beautiful day. I thought you needed

458
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 1: a lighthearted question with all the questions that you answered

459
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: that are heavy. This is mine. Is your radio show

460
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,959
Speaker 1: pre recorded or do you stay up all night doing it?

461
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: Thank you for all you do with this podcast. I

462
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: use this program to type for me because it's just

463
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: easier when I'm disabled and using my hands to type

464
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: is really difficult. Thank you for understanding. Well, that's awesome.

465
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: So you are using a program to type the email

466
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 1: and you still, man, that's amazing you so many of y'all.

467
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: It means so much much to you to message that

468
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: you're going to type through this. That's awesome. Thank you.

469
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say your name because you didn't

470
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: say it, even though I see it right here in

471
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 1: the email. I'm not going to say it, but thank

472
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: you for listening to Thank you for the kind words.

473
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 1: I do not stay up all night recording after midnight.

474
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 1: I do that during the day. A lot of times.

475
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: I do it in the mornings. It's kind of my

476
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: morning routine as all aunt man. My producer gets me

477
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 1: the show for that night, and so it's on the

478
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: same day, but it's that morning I get it and

479
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: I'll record it all in one piece, so I don't

480
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: have to wait on the commercial breaks and the music.

481
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: I could do it all just piece by piece, back

482
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: to back to back, and it allows me to build

483
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: the show, and I also do a lot of these

484
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: podcast questions on After Midnight. So yeah, I appreciate you

485
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: you emailing And it's funny after this podcast, after I

486
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: record this, I'm actually going in to do After Midnight

487
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: right after this. So back to back, let's set another one.

488
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: Subjcline says life slash relationship advice. Imagine that. Hey Grange,

489
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm twenty one years old and a firefighter in South Dakota.

490
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 1: I'm engaged to a wonderful gal, but it seems since

491
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: the engagement, our relationship has changed and heading down hill.

492
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: I just read just recently, a girl I dated in

493
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: high school reached out to me and we've been talking

494
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: as friends. I never really lost feelings for this girl.

495
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: She was just the right girl at the wrong time.

496
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: Talking to her feels like home. What should I do

497
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: or should I fix my current relationship. I'm a Christian

498
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: man and I've been asking God to help me get

499
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: through this and show me a sign on what path

500
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 1: I should take. Love your podcast. Listen to it on

501
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 1: the way to work and during work, as well as

502
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: well as when I'm farming. Yegee, I'd love for you

503
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: to come to South Dakota and hunt pheasants sometimes and

504
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: that'd be awesome. Alex. Appreciate you brother, Thank you for

505
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 1: your service as a firefighter. Thank you for listening to

506
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: the podcast. Shout out to South Dakota. I would love

507
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: to go pheasan hunting with you sometime. Let me recap

508
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,239
Speaker 1: so I can get it back in my mind. You

509
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: are engaged to a wonderful gal, you say, but since

510
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: the engagement things have changed and heading downhill. Understandable. Sometimes

511
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: the imminent idea of permanent spouse ring on the finger.

512
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes that feeling could change the dynamic of the relationship.

513
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: So that's going a couple questions back. That's kind of

514
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 1: a making a little bit of an argument for some

515
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: sort of engagement period of time because they might change

516
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 1: during that time. So continuing the recap here, you started

517
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: recently talking to a girl that you used to date

518
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: in high school and you never lost feelings for her.

519
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,959
Speaker 1: She was the right girlthro wrong time. So you're asking

520
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: me should you try to fix this current relationship? Okay, gotcha? Gotcha?

521
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: All right? So this on want to say right off

522
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 1: the bat, without knowing too much about you, Alex, if

523
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 1: we're sitting in the truck we're driving down the road.

524
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you to jump out the window. I'm

525
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 1: not doing that. I shouldn't have said that earlier. Come on, guys,

526
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. But what I am saying is, I

527
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: don't feel good about this engagement. Man, I don't feel

528
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: good about you and this girl. It's heading down a path,

529
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 1: heading downhill, like you said, and things have changed, and

530
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: now you kind of have feelings. You have feelings for

531
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: this other girl right there. Those two things. I'm out.

532
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: I'm out. I'm saying, Hey, we gotta could I have

533
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:52,479
Speaker 1: that ring back? Or maybe maybe firefighting pays really well?

534
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: And you say keep the ring as a bonus. But

535
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and pull out of this engagement.

536
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: Here's the deal. Don't let pulling out of this engagement.

537
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: Don't let that be affected by Oh, we've already booked

538
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: a venue or her mom and aunt are really excited.

539
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 1: They already have the flower person booked. Oh, the church

540
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: that we tried to get is usually booked out for

541
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: three years, but we got this one day and it's

542
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: like the perfect day. And they gave us a discount

543
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: which we'll never get again. And she already bought the dress.

544
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: Don't let those things change your mind that the relationship

545
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: itself is broken and you probably shouldn't get married. That

546
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: would be a disaster to use those all those other excuses,

547
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: including embarrassment, including saying I don't want to face her

548
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: daddy and tell her I changed my mind. I don't

549
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: want to do that, so I'd rather just marry her.

550
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: You've heard enough questions come through this podcast that end

551
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 1: in divorce, so stay away from that. And I seriously

552
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: would go and just say, hey, I'm I want to

553
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: marry someone that I feel one hundred percent confident in

554
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: being there for her the rest of my life. And

555
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 1: I am losing confidence in this relationship with you. And

556
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: I don't know the reason. I don't know why, but

557
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: I don't feel I don't feel one hundred percent about it.

558
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: And I owe it to you to tell you honestly

559
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: that I don't feel one hundred percent about it. And

560
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: I think we should downgrade this relationship, jump out of

561
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: an engagement, and give me the ring back, please or not,

562
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: whatever your situation is. And Alex, regardless of the girl

563
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: from high school, I think that's kind of irrelevant. I

564
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 1: think the girl from high school. The only thing that

565
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 1: does for us in this conversation. It tells you that

566
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: something is severely broken in the current relationship. It says

567
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: more about that than it does the girl from high school,

568
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 1: because the girl from high school is from the past,

569
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: and you might still have feelings, but you might just

570
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: have nostalgia for the past and for high school. You

571
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: might be looking at this girl in hindsight. So regardless,

572
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 1: I don't care about that girl. It's telling me more

573
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: about your current situation that you need to get out of.

574
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: You say, I'm a Christian man, you've been asking God

575
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 1: to show a sign. I don't like signs. I don't

576
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: like the prayer to ask for a sign. Jesus says,

577
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: those that ask for a sign are a wretched generation. Okay,

578
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: so we don't want to do that. We don'tant to

579
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: ask for signs. We want to read the Word, that

580
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: ever living, breathing word of God. And you read the Word,

581
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: you're going to see a lot about relationships, and a

582
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: lot about marriage, and a lot about love between a

583
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: man and a woman. So go there and stop looking

584
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 1: for a sign or asking for a sign. Okay, I

585
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 1: think we kind of got that one. Let's hit another one. Here.

586
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go way back in the vault. Here, I'm

587
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: gonna spin this dial all the way down to I'll

588
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: go back to February. I have no idea what we're

589
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 1: getting into here. This is back in February. I got

590
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: this email says, heygre and your My name is Randy.

591
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six from North Central Missouri. I've enjoyed your

592
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: music for a long time. Recently discovered your podcast through TikTok.

593
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: I found your advice to be incredibly insightful and helpful

594
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 1: to me and my struggles. A big fan of everything

595
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: you stand for. Thank you, brother, Randy. You said, I've

596
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 1: noticed a theme. You speak a lot about being content

597
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 1: on your own before getting into relationship. This is something

598
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 1: I've always struggled with, especially now in the wake of

599
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: a recent breakup with the best girl I've ever dated.

600
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,919
Speaker 1: I've been struggling through the heartbreak. Episode one twenty four

601
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: has helped me on this, By the way, but I

602
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 1: want to know what I could start doing, what I

603
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: could start learning. Let me say this again, but I

604
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: want to know how No, I'm reading that wrong, but

605
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: I want to know what I could start doing to

606
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 1: learn how to truly be content on my own. I

607
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: feel like this is a lack of this lack of

608
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: contentment maybe contributing to the failure and disappointed appointment that

609
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 1: I keep experience in dating. Any helper advice would be appreciated.

610
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: To keep up the great work, Randy. Okay, Randy, recapping

611
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: what you said here, Thank you brother, Thanks thanks for

612
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 1: emailing and listening to him. A bad read of your writing.

613
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: You basically want to know how to start learning how

614
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 1: to be content on your own. That's what you're asking

615
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 1: and coming out of the wake of a breakup. Okay,

616
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 1: this is interesting. This is interesting because you asked this

617
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:46,919
Speaker 1: in February, so I'm curious in November how this many

618
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 1: months has gone by. Now, how how have you fared? Randy?

619
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 1: Email me back, how have you fared from February to November?

620
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: Without hearing me answer your question yet? Because I could

621
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 1: walk through the with you, But I'm more curious on

622
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 1: how you did. Like, are you totally broken right now?

623
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I doubt it. Are you in

624
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: another relationship? Maybe? Are you content and single? Maybe? I'm

625
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: really curious with this much time going by, if this

626
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: would if this email had just come in, I would say,

627
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: practically speaking a recent breakup, it's hard to do anything

628
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,760
Speaker 1: right away. Like you can't come out of a recent

629
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: breakup and say, Okay, I'm gonna be single and content.

630
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: I'm going to be content with myself. She broke up

631
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: with me two weeks ago, and I'm gonna be content

632
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: and single. Like bro That's very difficult, and I wouldn't

633
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that you needed to do that or

634
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: even could do it. That kind of contentment comes on

635
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: a clear headed mind, after you've after the dust and

636
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 1: the storm has gone away, the dust is settled. Okay,

637
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 1: that's like a year down the road, and you go,

638
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: you know what I've been saying for a year. My

639
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: heartbreak is healed and I'm finally in a place where

640
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: I could say I am content being single, and so really,

641
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 1: what's crazy about that? Is the biggest healer and the

642
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 1: biggest thing to learn from on how to get to

643
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: that contentment is letting time go by after that big

644
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: breakup that you had. And if time goes by and

645
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 1: you still don't feel content, then I would question the

646
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: other components of your social life. Who are you hanging around?

647
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 1: Have you tried to make friends. If not or in

648
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,399
Speaker 1: conjunction with that, have you jumped into other hobbies, like, man,

649
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to raise pigeons, Like I literally am

650
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: saying that because I'm kind of thinking about that. My

651
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 1: dad used to raise pigeons, So just throwing that out hypathetically.

652
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 1: You're like, man, I've really I only had this crazy

653
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: idea to raise racing pigeons and have them in a

654
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:01,200
Speaker 1: pin and actually raise them across the state. How fun

655
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: would that be? And so you go and you start

656
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: investing in it, and you build it, You build your cage,

657
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: and you get your pigeons, and you start getting around

658
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 1: other people that have the same interest. Before you know it,

659
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 1: you're like, whoa, I have a friend. I've got a

660
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:20,720
Speaker 1: good friend, a friend that I've gotten from this racing

661
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: pigeon thing. And then you bond over that, and then

662
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,479
Speaker 1: you get really interested in it. You start pouring more

663
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: investment into it, more time and effort. Before you know it,

664
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: weeks are going by and you're like, man, I haven't

665
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 1: even thought about me being sappy and depressed and single.

666
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: We start filling our stuff, are filling our time with

667
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff, stuff that brings us joy and

668
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:56,240
Speaker 1: contentment outside of a relationship. Okay, Randy, email me, buddy.

669
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 1: I'm interested to hear what you have to say. I

670
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: appreciate all you guys. Thanks for listening. We'll see him

671
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 1: next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.

672
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me

673
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

674
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

675
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

676
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

677
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast

678
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,879
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Yig