WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: First-Time Homeowner Help, Finding Closure and Should I Join the Marines?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering

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<v Speaker 1>from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the beat.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Cheeky's.

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<v Speaker 3>My name is Amanda. I want to say I love

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<v Speaker 3>this podcast. I went back to listen to all episodes

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<v Speaker 3>and I am honestly obsessed. Any who question is. In

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<v Speaker 3>one of your episodes, you mentioned you recently bought your

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<v Speaker 3>own home. Congrats. I want to know where I should start.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if I should maybe go see a

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<v Speaker 3>realtor if I should go to the bank and maybe

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<v Speaker 3>see about alone. How much I qualify. My credit is perfect,

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<v Speaker 3>that's not an issue, but when it comes to buying

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<v Speaker 3>a home, I have nowhere to start. If you can,

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<v Speaker 3>please answer me questioned and let me know how you

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<v Speaker 3>started this whole process. I would really appreciate it. Love

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<v Speaker 3>you bye, Amanda.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for being a Cheeky's and Chill fan.

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<v Speaker 1>We are so excited to have you. Thank you, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for the feedback. It means a lot in regards

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<v Speaker 1>to your question. Okay, so the first thing the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that you have good credit. Girl, You're in So many

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<v Speaker 1>people do not understand the fact that having good credit

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<v Speaker 1>is even better than having millions of dollars in your

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<v Speaker 1>bank account, because it doesn't matter if you have millions

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<v Speaker 1>of dollars. If your credit isn't on point, your fical

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<v Speaker 1>score isn't high the bank, no one's going to trust

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<v Speaker 1>you with a home with their kind of line. No,

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<v Speaker 1>this person isn't responsible. That's what our credit score is.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys, that's a whole other episode. But that is awesome. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>the first step would be finding a realtor, finding a

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<v Speaker 1>good realtor in your area, and then they can help

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<v Speaker 1>you find a broker and if you need a loan,

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<v Speaker 1>then they have different banks or a broker can help

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<v Speaker 1>you get a loan from a bank. So first step

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<v Speaker 1>is finding a realtor, letting them know what you're looking for,

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<v Speaker 1>your budget. They'll help you depending on how much money

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<v Speaker 1>you make. They'll tell you, Okay, you can buy a

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<v Speaker 1>house in this range, so on and so forth. So, Amanda,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's awesome that you want to purchase your

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<v Speaker 1>own home. That's great, and yeah, I'm wishing you the best.

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<v Speaker 1>So hopefully my advice helps. So find yourself a realtor, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and they will guide you. And good job on having

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<v Speaker 1>good credit. That is so sexy girl. Okay, looks like

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<v Speaker 1>Alejandra is up next. I wonder what her question is.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's sear it.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, Chicky's first of all, girl, it was nice seeing

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<v Speaker 2>you at the Spool Latina Summit last year. Hopefully you

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<v Speaker 2>come back to Houston very soon. We want to get

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<v Speaker 2>drunk anyway. So I had a best friend for so

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<v Speaker 2>many years. We fell apart after I got married and

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<v Speaker 2>started having kids. We kind of no longer shared, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>the same things, and we fell apart and we never

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<v Speaker 2>had like a closure. Recently, I saw that her uncle

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<v Speaker 2>had passed away, and the way it happened it was

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<v Speaker 2>very tragic. So I prayed about it and I reached

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<v Speaker 2>out to her, and whenever I saw the message, she

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<v Speaker 2>read it and she blocked me, and it made me

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<v Speaker 2>wonder like, what did I do wrong? You know, like

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<v Speaker 2>I just started life and I needed to happen. But

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<v Speaker 2>I also find out that she's lesbian and I never

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<v Speaker 2>knew that, So now it makes me wonder like was

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<v Speaker 2>she in love with me? Or what is it that

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<v Speaker 2>I did? And you know, my question is like, how

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<v Speaker 2>do you just get your own closure since I can

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<v Speaker 2>really get it from her? You know, well, thank you

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<v Speaker 2>so much for listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Alejandrasa Aluito's all the way to Age Town. I love

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<v Speaker 1>it over there, such a good time. AnyWho, I completely

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<v Speaker 1>understand what we're talking about. Alei. It kind of happened

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<v Speaker 1>to me, so I get it. Sometimes it's better not

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<v Speaker 1>to know the answer. Sometimes it's just better to say, well,

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<v Speaker 1>this person was meant to be in my life during

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<v Speaker 1>this time of my life, and now moving forward, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>she's not and perhaps she was in love with you,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm sure you're an amazing person, so I don't

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<v Speaker 1>blame her, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think

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<v Speaker 1>maybe she also feels like she's in a different season

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<v Speaker 1>of her life as well, and I don't think it's embarrassment,

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<v Speaker 1>but maybe she kind of wants to get away from

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<v Speaker 1>her old life. Perhaps I don't know. I mean, we're

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<v Speaker 1>never going to know exactly what it is. But I

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<v Speaker 1>think as long as you know I was a good friend,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't do anything wrong. And if she blocked you,

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<v Speaker 1>then she's certainly not ready to have that conversation with you,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's okay too. You kind of have to just

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<v Speaker 1>respect that. And I think you did really well with

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<v Speaker 1>sending her a message and saying, hey, I hope everything's okay,

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<v Speaker 1>like checking in on her. I think that shows a

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<v Speaker 1>lot about who you are. So just respect the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that she right now doesn't feel like talking, and you

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<v Speaker 1>just have to be at peace with who you are

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<v Speaker 1>and the friend that you were to her, and you

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<v Speaker 1>know that you didn't do anything wrong and you just

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to start your life, and that's okay. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>just wish her the best and maybe always in your heart, no, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>if she ever wants to come and talk to me,

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<v Speaker 1>then my doors, the doors to my heart, the doors

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<v Speaker 1>to my home will always be open. But I think

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<v Speaker 1>you're good. I think you're good. I think it's more

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<v Speaker 1>on like what she's feeling and what she's going through,

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<v Speaker 1>so don't take it personally. Okay. Hope that that helped. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>now let's hear from Sabrina.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi, Cheekiese. I just want to say, first and foremost,

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<v Speaker 4>thank you for all that you do. You are super

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<v Speaker 4>inspiring and I love you. You have a very big

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<v Speaker 4>fan here. But I just wanted advice because I'm torn

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<v Speaker 4>in between two things. I would really like to become

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<v Speaker 4>an actor. It's always been my dream since I was

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<v Speaker 4>a little girl. I remember like being a little girl

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<v Speaker 4>and I wrote like at school they asked like what

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<v Speaker 4>you wanted as a career, and I wrote an actress.

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<v Speaker 4>And I would at least like to die knowing that

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<v Speaker 4>I at least tried to become an actor. But my

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<v Speaker 4>father saysn't very inconsistent, and I agree. I'm very uncommitted,

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<v Speaker 4>like I like to back out on things, and I

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<v Speaker 4>can be very flaky, and that is one quality I

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<v Speaker 4>hate about myself. So I've I've been thinking about the

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<v Speaker 4>Marines as well, because I feel like I can be

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<v Speaker 4>taught skills for life, especially like my inconsistency. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm really or like I don't know if I should

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<v Speaker 4>get started on trying to become an actress sor if

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<v Speaker 4>I should take the step into going into the Marines

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<v Speaker 4>so that I can really grow myself. And I think

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<v Speaker 4>them going into the Marines would help.

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<v Speaker 5>Thank you, Sabrina.

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<v Speaker 1>You sound very mature. I wish I knew how old

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<v Speaker 1>you were. But the fact that you are vulnerable enough

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<v Speaker 1>to say that out loud, the things that you don't

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<v Speaker 1>like about yourself or that you want to work on,

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<v Speaker 1>that's awesome, Mama. That's powerful, and that's good that you

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<v Speaker 1>were aware of it and that you accept it, because

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<v Speaker 1>that's the only way that you're going to actually make

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<v Speaker 1>a change now. I think going into the Marines is

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<v Speaker 1>very honorable and you are servicing us all so the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that you're just thinking about that, thank you. Definitely.

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<v Speaker 1>In anything that you want to do, it doesn't matter

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<v Speaker 1>what it is. I can't say it enough. Discipline and

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<v Speaker 1>routine are huge, and when it comes to acting, it's

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<v Speaker 1>even more so because you need to be focused, you

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<v Speaker 1>need to learn your lines like it's a hard job.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think absolutely you're absolutely right. You need to

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<v Speaker 1>try it for sure, take the risk, and I'm always

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<v Speaker 1>that person that says I'd rather try it and fail

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<v Speaker 1>at it than to live my life and know that

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<v Speaker 1>I never did it because I was afraid, because I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't believe in myself, so on and so forth. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>going back to the Marines, they will definitely teach you

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<v Speaker 1>discipline like big time. So if you feel that right

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<v Speaker 1>now you sound young to me, I don't know, But

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<v Speaker 1>if you have that time and you are considering going

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<v Speaker 1>into the Marines, I wouldn't say not to do it.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it would be a good thing. Especially the Marines.

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<v Speaker 1>They teach you, like I said, routine discipline, you have

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<v Speaker 1>to wake up early, like that's huge. And then maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you can still take classes now even on YouTube, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you YouTube, we could do everything on YouTube,

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<v Speaker 1>even on TikTok. So while you're at the Marines, you

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<v Speaker 1>can still learn certain traits and certain things in regards

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<v Speaker 1>to acting. But I think they're both great and I

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<v Speaker 1>support you either way. You go, just do it and

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<v Speaker 1>just try it, Okay, Sabrina, thank you for your question,

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<v Speaker 1>sending you a big big hug. All right, looks like

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<v Speaker 1>our final question comes from.

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<v Speaker 5>Claudia hi Chiki's I am a huge fan of yours.

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<v Speaker 5>I recently became a fan of your mama's and then

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<v Speaker 5>subsequently became a fan of yours. I want to thank

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<v Speaker 5>you first and foremost for sharing your light with the

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<v Speaker 5>world and all your goodness. You have inspired me in

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<v Speaker 5>so many ways. You inspired me to start going to therapy,

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<v Speaker 5>and in a recent session with my therapist, she pointed

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<v Speaker 5>out to me that worrying is not caring about people.

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<v Speaker 5>Worrying is my anxiety. So I was wondering what kind

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<v Speaker 5>of advice you can give me for caring for people

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<v Speaker 5>without worrying about them. Thank you so much again for

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<v Speaker 5>your time, and I just wanted to also let you know.

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<v Speaker 5>You know that saying never meet your heroes because they

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<v Speaker 5>will disappoint you. You are the complete opposite of that.

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<v Speaker 5>I had the privilege of meeting you at a meet

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<v Speaker 5>and Greek that your concert in La recently. My sister

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<v Speaker 5>surprised me with that, and you are everything and more.

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<v Speaker 5>Thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Claudia, You're gonna make me cry. Thank you, Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, thank you. Welcome to the family. I know

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<v Speaker 1>you just said that you recently became a fan of

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<v Speaker 1>my mom's and of mine, and thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for going to my concert. Tell your friend

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<v Speaker 1>I said, thank you for taking you. That means a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my God, you made my heart feel off, fuzzy

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<v Speaker 1>and warm inside. So in regards to your question, I

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<v Speaker 1>have been a worry bug since forever, and I've learned,

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<v Speaker 1>I think, in the past few years not to worry.

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<v Speaker 1>Like your therapist said, worrying is worrying about something that

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't even happened. That's what causes anxiety, you know, So

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<v Speaker 1>I totally get you. I'm the one that worries about

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<v Speaker 1>my sisters and my all my siblings and their kids

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<v Speaker 1>and what if like they're not watching them. It's all

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<v Speaker 1>these thoughts that we create in our mind that don't

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<v Speaker 1>haven't even happened, that don't even exist. So I think

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<v Speaker 1>what has helped me is leaving them in God's hands,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I'm like, God, please take care of my siblings,

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<v Speaker 1>take care of their and their homes while they're driving. Lord,

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<v Speaker 1>take care of them, like I leave them in your hands,

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<v Speaker 1>like literally saying it out loud and envisioning, like I'm

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<v Speaker 1>putting the people that I'm worrying about in your hands,

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<v Speaker 1>and it just takes this weight off your shoulders. And

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<v Speaker 1>you feel like, ah, like there's nothing we can do

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<v Speaker 1>about it. It's just trusting life and trusting destiny and

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<v Speaker 1>the universe and of course God, as simple as that. Like, honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what has helped me. And even at night when

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<v Speaker 1>I'm worrying about like one of my brothers, he's out

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<v Speaker 1>and he's drinking, and I'm like, I always tell him,

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<v Speaker 1>don't drink and drive, and he won't, but I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>what if he gets like crazy? And all I got

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<v Speaker 1>to do is send a text, Hey, don't drink and drive.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you, be careful. That's it. And I'm like, God,

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<v Speaker 1>he's in your hands, and it helps me so much

0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:46.400
<v Speaker 1>just saying that. So Claudia, I hope that helps. And honestly,

0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:50.520
<v Speaker 1>worry brings so much sickness to our mind, to our soul.

0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:52.960
<v Speaker 1>So I know it's a lot easier said than done,

0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.640
<v Speaker 1>but you just got to shake it off. Literally, just

0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:59.120
<v Speaker 1>shake that shit off. Oh no, we got this, okay.

0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:04.079
<v Speaker 1>So thank you, Thank you guys, Amanda, Alejandra, Sabrina, and Claudia.

0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.480
<v Speaker 1>I love hearing each and every one of your voices

0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:09.400
<v Speaker 1>and I love helping you sort through your issues. I

0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.559
<v Speaker 1>really do feel like I'm your big sister or best friend.

0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:13.760
<v Speaker 1>So thank you guys. Now you can leave a voice

0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:17.360
<v Speaker 1>note detailing your issue at speakpipe dot com, slash Chikys

0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:31.560
<v Speaker 1>and Chill podcast. This is a production of iHeartRadio and

0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:35.559
<v Speaker 1>the Micudura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael

0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.760
<v Speaker 1>Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i

0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:42.280
<v Speaker 1>q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

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<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.