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Speaker 1: My long lost daughter showed up at my doorstep, and

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Speaker 1: now I have to decide if I should take her

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Speaker 1: in as her father.

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Speaker 2: Am I the asshole?

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Speaker 1: Or maybe not doing that? You know, it's a big

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Speaker 1: thing to do. It's a big thing to do. As

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Speaker 1: we've said, taking on the role of father is not

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Speaker 1: necessarily a biological one, but a respondsability one.

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Speaker 3: That's right. You know, I expect a door dash to

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Speaker 3: show up at my door food an amazon, not a daughter.

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Speaker 2: Not a daughter.

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Speaker 1: I've never expected that, never expected that. I would be

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Speaker 1: pretty surprised me too, maybe not with is there my

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Speaker 1: recent escapade?

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Speaker 3: Is there something you want to tell us?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a Australian daughter.

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Speaker 3: Mate, mate, that's her first kidding, all jokes, all jokes.

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Speaker 2: He was on birth control.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so hi, Dad's not us. I think this is

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Speaker 1: just like from a dad's subreddit. Right when I Mail

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Speaker 1: thirty two was a teenager, I dated a girl Kay.

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Speaker 1: One day, Kay broke up with me out of the blue,

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Speaker 1: with no explanation.

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Speaker 3: Oh heart broke.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward fifteenish years later, the police showed up at

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Speaker 1: my apartment. Long story short, Kay was pregnant with my kid.

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Speaker 1: Fifteen years ago. She got charged with a bunch of

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Speaker 1: drug charges, and when they asked if her daughter could

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Speaker 1: go to any family, she said, I was the dad.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's true, ain't it.

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Speaker 2: It's true?

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Speaker 1: But maybe well after a paternity test, I do have

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Speaker 1: a fifteen year old daughter with.

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Speaker 3: Kay there it is. The test has shown.

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Speaker 1: The test has revealed who is the father, and it

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Speaker 1: is you, yep, and now you have to figure out

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Speaker 1: what the fuck you gotta do, chirats, So my daughter

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Speaker 1: is going to come live with me today. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a dad, quote unquote. I don't have kids or a

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Speaker 1: significant other, just dogs. So I'm pretty clueless when it

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Speaker 1: comes to being a dad or taking care of a kid,

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Speaker 1: especially one who's a teenager. And also it's like it's

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Speaker 1: different if you were suddenly a dad, and it's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you have to take care of this baby, because at

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Speaker 1: least you're starting from like zero right now. It's just

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Speaker 1: like you're shoving this like this hormone filled half human

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Speaker 1: into your life, and it's just like, why don't I,

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Speaker 1: like I haven't gone through all the other stages of dad,

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Speaker 1: And it's like you're just like putting it on level

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Speaker 1: fifteen in hard mode expecting this guy to like go

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Speaker 1: crazy with it.

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Speaker 2: Like this is like he's being he is.

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Speaker 1: He is being put into parenthood at one of the

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Speaker 1: most difficult times to.

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Speaker 2: Be a parent.

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Speaker 3: I also loved how you described her as like an

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Speaker 3: angsty centaur, a hormone raging half. I want to go

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Speaker 3: to Taylor swift concert.

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Speaker 2: Dad.

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Speaker 3: Nah, I will stop you if you don't let me.

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Speaker 2: I am no Swiftie, No Swifties in this house. Oh.

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Speaker 1: After talking with her social worker, she says, Kay was

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Speaker 1: neglectful to my daughter and isn't going to be used

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Speaker 1: to being taken care of or having structure, which will

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Speaker 1: be a big adjustment for her. So basically, this child

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Speaker 1: has been roaming free, galloping the planes for the last

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Speaker 1: fifteen years with out someone to tell her yay or.

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Speaker 3: Na, God damn it, you got me.

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Speaker 2: The social worker.

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Speaker 1: Says, I need to be patient with her and just

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Speaker 1: show her love and support even if she doesn't want it.

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Speaker 1: I have a room already for her in my apartment,

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Speaker 1: is pretty basic because I didn't want to overwhelm her.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, she's coming today, just hoping for some support,

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Speaker 1: maybe some tips.

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Speaker 2: So we don't usually do this on the show.

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Speaker 1: We don't like read the comments for the commenters, but

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Speaker 1: I decided, like so many people have asked for it,

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Speaker 1: so we're going to read some comments. So commenter, start

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Speaker 1: by talking to her, Let her know you're here for her,

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Speaker 1: get to know her, and then support her interest in hobbies,

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Speaker 1: and then support her interest in hobbies. Let her decide

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Speaker 1: how she wants to decorate her room. It's a bit

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Speaker 1: more work starting from the middle, like you are, which

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Speaker 1: I totally.

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Speaker 2: Said, it's starting on hard pow dude.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because angsty centaur, because you weren't there to learn

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Speaker 1: who she was as she was figuring it out herself.

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Speaker 1: Make the environment safe and welcoming to her, and give

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Speaker 1: her the privacy she needs. She's not in a position

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Speaker 1: where she needs someone to come down harden her. She's

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Speaker 1: in a position she needs someone that she knows she

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Speaker 1: can turn to no matter what is wrong. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: Op says I met her twice. Definitely more difficult at

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Speaker 1: starting from the middle. It would have been a lot

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Speaker 1: easier with a little kid or baby. I know this

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Speaker 1: is a big adjustment for us both, So I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to try to go all strict dat on her.

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Speaker 1: It's more about support. I think, and then we have

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Speaker 1: another commenter giving some advice. So holy hell, welcome to

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Speaker 1: the club in the craziest way possible, I guess truly.

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Speaker 1: And also we are going to get into another update,

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Speaker 1: but we just want to read because, like OP is

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Speaker 1: interacting with the commenter is kind of figuring out his

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Speaker 1: strategy towards parenting. First things first, is from the comment

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Speaker 1: I can tell you that you're probably not going to

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Speaker 1: want to do this alone, going to want as many

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Speaker 1: other people on your team as possible. This is going

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Speaker 1: to be a huge adjustment for both of you. The

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Speaker 1: difference is she's coming into it with half as much

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Speaker 1: life experience and no base supp at all. Don't try

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Speaker 1: to take this alone. Second, if I were to put

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Speaker 1: myself in your shoes, I'd say that the one thing

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Speaker 1: I'd try to remember over everything else is empathy. It's

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Speaker 1: going to be tough, but think about everything this kid

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Speaker 1: has been through. Also, remember that this is your chance

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Speaker 1: to be what sounds like the first positive influence on

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Speaker 1: this kid's life, which is so true, Like OPI has

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Speaker 1: a chance to do some really good here for real,

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Speaker 1: you could honestly be the difference between whether this girl's

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Speaker 1: life goes in a positive direction or a negative one.

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Speaker 1: I know that's not exactly fair to you, and it's

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Speaker 1: a ton of pressure, but this is your chance to

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Speaker 1: step up and do what may end up being one

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Speaker 1: of the most important things you've ever done in your life.

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Speaker 1: That's the role of a dad in a nutshell. Really,

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Speaker 1: you're the person who's going to model what a man

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Speaker 1: should be. You'll mess it up, it'll be tough, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes you'll feel like a complete failure. But if you

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Speaker 1: show up, care and support her as best you can,

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Speaker 1: you'll be Okay. Good luck, man, you can do it.

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Speaker 1: And OPI responds, Damn, that's a lot of pressure. My

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Speaker 1: parents definitely plan on helping out a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: have a few close friends who are willing to help

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Speaker 1: out too. I want to be a good role model

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Speaker 1: for her because she deserves that.

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Speaker 3: That's a great point. Like, you're coming into this blind.

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Speaker 3: It's like, Yo, parents, you raise somebody me, Yo, friends,

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Speaker 3: could you hop in like I think it's good. He's

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Speaker 3: like tapping his community. You'd be like, yo, I need

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Speaker 3: support in this because this is this is the hardest

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Speaker 3: thing I remember gonna have to do pretty wild.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And then there's like other stuff talking about like

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Speaker 1: menstrual supplies, which he says his mom is going to

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Speaker 1: help out with, and then another commenter says, definitely avoid

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Speaker 1: the drinking or substance substances if you enjoy it, and

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Speaker 1: OP says, yeah, I occasionally drank, and I figured it

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Speaker 1: would be best to stop doing that for a little

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Speaker 1: while because of everything with her mom. I am honestly

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Speaker 1: both nervous but excited to be part of her life.

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Speaker 1: I never thought I would start being a dad to

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Speaker 1: a fifteen year old instead of a baby. But I'm

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Speaker 1: happy to have her, honestly, even if I don't know

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Speaker 1: what I'm doing. But things so far aren't too bad

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Speaker 1: and going relatively well. And now on for the update.

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Speaker 1: So I posted on Friday that my daughter was coming

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Speaker 1: to live with me, who I had no idea about

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Speaker 1: until her mother went to jail on a bunch of

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Speaker 1: drug charges. It has been a big adjustment for me,

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Speaker 1: both for my daughter and myself. I told when I

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Speaker 1: first picked her up that I know this is very

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Speaker 1: new for us both, so I know it's going to

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Speaker 1: take some time to adjust. She has been through a lot.

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Speaker 1: From what I can tell, she's very underweight and not

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Speaker 1: used to having consistent meals. I put a snack bit

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Speaker 1: in her room so she hopefully doesn't feel the need

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Speaker 1: to hide food, at least stuff that isn't supposed to

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Speaker 1: be left out. I told her she could get food

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Speaker 1: from the kitchen whenever she wanted, but that seemed to

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Speaker 1: overwhelm her a bit, so now it's the snack bin.

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Speaker 1: I also have breakfast and dinner lunch on weekends at

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Speaker 1: a consistent time, so she just knows a meal is

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Speaker 1: going to happen. She also has nightmares and screams. Of course,

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Speaker 1: she hasn't told me what they're about. I don't expect

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Speaker 1: her to yet, but whatever it was, it was traumatic

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Speaker 1: for her. So I'm in the process of finding a

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Speaker 1: therapist for her, which is that's freaking awes fantastic. For

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Speaker 1: some more positive things, I got her to open up

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Speaker 1: enough to find some things about her. Firstly, she loves

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Speaker 1: my dogs and we took them on a walk together.

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Speaker 1: She's smart, loves to read, and she likes to play basketball.

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Speaker 1: I have course told her some stuff about me. She's

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Speaker 1: pretty quiet and reserved. I expected her to not really

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Speaker 1: be open with me, considering I am a stranger to her.

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Speaker 1: But things so far aren't too bad and going relatively well.

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Speaker 1: It's now September nineteenth, twenty twenty three, which is not

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Speaker 1: that long ago. No, it's like last month.

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Speaker 3: My goodness, real time.

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Speaker 1: The title is good but sad moment with my daughter.

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Speaker 1: So probably a lot of you guys have seen my

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Speaker 1: post about me mail thirty two finding out about my

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Speaker 1: fifteen year old daughter and getting custody of her. Well,

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Speaker 1: things have been going pretty good so far. Okaday, She

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Speaker 1: was sitting in the kitchen doing homework, and once she finished,

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Speaker 1: she started playing with my dogs. But she left a

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Speaker 1: few papers out after putting the rest away, and I

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Speaker 1: asked what those are and she said, oh, some test

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Speaker 1: I had to take this week. I asked if I

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Speaker 1: could see them, and she said sure, and had gotten

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Speaker 1: a's on three tests chemistry, history, and geometry after being

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Speaker 1: at school for less than two weeks.

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Speaker 2: Oh hey, come on, now, let's go. He's kind, smarty

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Speaker 2: on his hands.

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Speaker 1: I was honestly very impressed, not because I don't think

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Speaker 1: she's not smart, but because she just started at a

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Speaker 1: new school and is having a big life adjustment. I

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Speaker 1: told her that was amazing, and ended up going on

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Speaker 1: about how I didn't care about the school aspect of

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Speaker 1: school and just cared about sports and friends. She said,

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Speaker 1: I enjoy learning and reading and it helps me get

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Speaker 1: away from life.

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Speaker 3: Well, what a great escape your grades.

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Speaker 1: Then it hit me that it was her way of

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Speaker 1: escaping from the assumingly not good life with her mom

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Speaker 1: and focused her mind in something else like learning and reading,

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Speaker 1: And honestly, it makes me really sad to think about.

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Speaker 1: And then some commenters say, celebrate the Wind's dad showing

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Speaker 1: encouragement and interest in her academic success.

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Speaker 2: Talent will only help her.

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Speaker 1: Treat it as a positive gift rather than an escape,

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Speaker 1: and OP says, I could tell she's not used to

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Speaker 1: getting encouraged or at least told good job, because she

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Speaker 1: kept saying, yeah, it's no big deal. Op says to

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Speaker 1: another commentary, I honestly feel lucky to have her in

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Speaker 1: mine as well. She's a good kid, just been through

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Speaker 1: a lot, which, even though I don't know the details

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Speaker 1: of it, makes me sad knowing she had to go

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Speaker 1: through tough things at such a young age. And then

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Speaker 1: to another one says, I know that this will be

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Speaker 1: really difficult, but I know it's because she's not used

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Speaker 1: to being cared about or just having more overall life

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Speaker 1: stability and will want to see what she can get

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Speaker 1: away with possibly and now. Tember nineteenth, twenty twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty September nineteenth, twenty twenty three, daughter broke my heart.

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Speaker 1: Oh what so, I mail thirty two. I've been posting

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Speaker 1: on here basically blah blah blah blah. Earlier, we were

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Speaker 1: out to eat because I didn't feel like cooking, and

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Speaker 1: I found out my daughter has never had tacos, So

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Speaker 1: we went out for tacos and we were having a

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Speaker 1: very casual conversation until a mother with two daughters, I

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Speaker 1: would say, both girls under ten, came in and you

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Speaker 1: could just tell the girls were having fun with their mom,

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Speaker 1: and all three clearly loved each other. M m, Well,

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Speaker 1: my daughter got quiet and just kept staring at them.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to pry, so I kept quiet. She

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Speaker 1: didn't say anything until randomly on the drive home, she said,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard seeing girls have a good relationship with

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Speaker 1: their mom. I get jealous because my mom and I

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Speaker 1: never did. Then she started crying and let me know

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Speaker 1: she wanted to be left alone. The rest of the night.

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Speaker 2: It was hard to see her crying and upset.

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Speaker 1: It's also difficult to know that even though I'm now

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Speaker 1: around in my daughter's life and I'm trying to be

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Speaker 1: a good parent, she still spent the first fifteen years

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Speaker 1: of her life not having a good relationship with her mom,

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Speaker 1: and I can't fix that. I wish I could, but

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Speaker 1: I can hand Yeah, which sucks because she didn't deserve

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Speaker 1: to be neglected and possibly abused. I'm just in my

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Speaker 1: feelings and really sad. And a commenter said, it's amazing

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Speaker 1: that she already is so open with you.

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Speaker 2: You must be doing something right.

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Speaker 1: Keep it up, dad, and Opie says, she just randomly

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Speaker 1: will say stuff, then shut out for like a few

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Speaker 1: hours and not talk. I don't know if it's because

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Speaker 1: she feels safe but then feels weird about talking how

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Speaker 1: she feels or what it is. And then another commenter says,

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Speaker 1: I've been following the updates. How has your relationship been going?

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Speaker 1: How have you been doing? And Opie says, I definitely

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Speaker 1: feel like I've grown attached, despite living a very different

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Speaker 1: life compared to before having my daughter around and having

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Speaker 1: to change really fast. I can tell she's a good kid.

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Speaker 1: Seems like she has big goals, but I can also

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Speaker 1: tell she has her guard up constantly by how she

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Speaker 1: carries herself and how she acts. We mostly talk about dogs, basketball,

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Speaker 1: and football. I'd shared stuff about me, and she shared

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Speaker 1: what she wants about herself. Another commenter says, give her

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Speaker 1: a big hug and be there for her. Opie says

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Speaker 1: she actually hates hugs or being touched in general. Luckily

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Speaker 1: I didn't find that out the hard way but from

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Speaker 1: her social worker. But that was just another sign of abuse.

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Speaker 1: And then another commenter says, just wanted to say. I

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Speaker 1: have a sixteen almost seventeen year old daughter. Our situations

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Speaker 1: are different, but from what I can somewhat tell, their

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Speaker 1: moms are the same. My daughter's mom was an absolute

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Speaker 1: deadbeat drug addict who only appeared in her life when

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Speaker 1: it was time to go to court.

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Speaker 2: And try to screw things up.

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Speaker 1: Long story short, I have full custody of her since

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Speaker 1: she was around ten. My daughter feels the same way

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Speaker 1: as your daughter does. In fact, my daughter goes into

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Speaker 1: some pretty dark places whenever she thinks about her mom,

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Speaker 1: or whenever the mom tries to communicate with her if

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Speaker 1: she's having trouble or issues. I generally know it's because

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Speaker 1: that side of the family is at it again. I'm

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Speaker 1: just posting to say I understand and it sucks, but

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Speaker 1: don't be discouraged. Yes, you might have missed out on

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Speaker 1: the earlier years, but you guys have a lifetime to

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Speaker 1: establish a good bond. And as someone who has both

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Speaker 1: younger and older kids, there are some really cool things

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Speaker 1: that you get to do with your older kids that

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Speaker 1: you can't do with them while they are young, or

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Speaker 1: they will enjoy much more as an older kid. And

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Speaker 1: Opie says, I'm sorry about your daughter's mom. I can

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Speaker 1: tell my daughter's mom is a very touchy subject for

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Speaker 1: my daughter.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to try and make up for the years

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Speaker 1: of not being around. I did explain I didn't know

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Speaker 1: about her and that's why I wasn't around. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: about me making that choice. And I kind of think

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Speaker 1: that's where things are now. I think that's the end.

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Speaker 3: Man. I hope we get an update in the future

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Speaker 3: on how things are going.

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Speaker 2: I think that's it.

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Speaker 3: Well, one thing is clear, op is the angel in

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Speaker 3: this scenario.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my goodness, is awesome that op is like

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Speaker 1: stepping up to the plate and actually seems like he's

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Speaker 1: really caring and getting advice from like the Reddit community.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty sick.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, good solid advice. Everything we heard was actually actually great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I would say, yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, dude, shout out to this guy and hopefully,

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Speaker 3: you know, like we said, like it's a lot to

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Speaker 3: step into and a lot to figure out and also

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Speaker 3: kind of great that. I mean, his daughter sounds like amazing,

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Speaker 3: like greatest well seems to want to better herself, better

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Speaker 3: herself and is kind of like using you know, academia

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Speaker 3: and like other like positive things as a means of escape,

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Speaker 3: which is.

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Speaker 2: Which is amazing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I hope things continue to go well for Op.

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Speaker 3: Big question is everyone watching, what would you do if

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Speaker 3: your long lost child of fifteen years.

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Speaker 2: Showed up at your doorstep? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: What do you do? That's the question.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I think Op is like the

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Speaker 1: being the best dad that he can like that that's

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Speaker 1: pretty awesome.

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Speaker 3: Huge shout out to Op the Man, the myth legend.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, let us know what you would do if

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Speaker 2: your daughter showed up at your doorstep?

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Speaker 3: That's right, Speaking of which, I got something I'm going

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Speaker 3: to drop on your doorstep.

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Speaker 2: Sam, A big old Dookie a big old story. Let's

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Speaker 2: go