Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two.
Speaker 2: I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly ben Simon, and
Speaker 2: today I have an incredible guest. You know her as
Speaker 2: the star of Netflix My Unorthodox Life. She's the CEO
Speaker 2: of Elite World Group, a fashion designer, an entrepreneur, and
Speaker 2: all around bedass And like all of us on this pod,
Speaker 2: she's been through it in the love department. I can't
Speaker 2: wait to dive into religion and relationships.
Speaker 1: Please welcome Julia Hart, Hi with the Big Heart. Listen.
Speaker 1: I need to talk to you. I've watched your.
Speaker 2: Show, My Unorthodox Life, and first of all, I want
Speaker 2: to tell you I really appreciate you who for you
Speaker 2: you are, your opening up about your your own journey,
Speaker 2: and your daughters are so beautiful, and your son. I
Speaker 2: was very moved, very very moved, And I was watching
Speaker 2: the show with my youngest daughter, and so we were
Speaker 2: just very you know, taken aback by your story and
Speaker 2: just the way that you raise your children. And it
Speaker 2: was just very really, really beautiful. So, for those who
Speaker 2: don't know, Julia Hart is iconic, and she came from
Speaker 2: an ultra orthodox Jewish community. So for those who aren't
Speaker 2: familiar with with Orthodox lifestyle. Can you explain to our
Speaker 2: audience what that looks like.
Speaker 3: Well, just think of it as a mix between Bridgerton
Speaker 3: and Handmaid's Tale, so minus the fabulous costumes and the
Speaker 3: gowns and the parties. Basically, you're defined by your biology
Speaker 3: as a woman. You have one purpose in life, and
Speaker 3: all women are supposed to do the exact same thing,
Speaker 3: and that is have children, get married, be subservient to
Speaker 3: your husband. And basically your ability to be good or
Speaker 3: bad is all dependent on a man. So if you're
Speaker 3: a good woman, that means you don't attract me ale attention.
Speaker 3: You keep in the background, you stay silent, you do
Speaker 3: whatever your husband tells you, and you just raise as
Speaker 3: many babies as humanly possible. A bad woman is someone
Speaker 3: who is outgoing, who is noticeable, who argues with men.
Speaker 3: So your entire destiny, who you are as a human being,
Speaker 3: is all in a relation to a man. That's pretty
Speaker 3: much it.
Speaker 2: Wow, was there anything about the Orthodox life that you liked?
Speaker 3: Community? I love the people there, you know, I always say,
Speaker 3: even in my book, there are no villains in my story, right,
Speaker 3: there's only victims because the people in the community are extraordinary.
Speaker 3: When my brother was killed. My brother died when he
Speaker 3: was five. He was killed in a car accident. And
Speaker 3: if I tell you that, every person in that community
Speaker 3: found a way to make us feel loved. We had
Speaker 3: CEOs sweeping our floor, we had people bringing us food
Speaker 3: every day. The community. The sense of love that's there
Speaker 3: is really beautiful. And I think also there's some traits
Speaker 3: that you know, are so instilled in you that I
Speaker 3: think they've really carried me well throughout, you know, the
Speaker 3: rest of my journey so far. Gratitude is a big one.
Speaker 3: You are always in a state of gratitude. And I
Speaker 3: think that that's something that gets lost here in the
Speaker 3: outside world. Is it's give me, give me, give me,
Speaker 3: not think you, thank you, thank you. And I think
Speaker 3: if more people were looking at what they owed the
Speaker 3: world and what the world owed them, would be in
Speaker 3: a much better place.
Speaker 2: That is so beautifully well said. And I mean, I
Speaker 2: just I'm just I'm very like, I'm just very moved
Speaker 2: by you.
Speaker 1: So you know, if you.
Speaker 3: Just I mean, you are absolutely stunningly kid. Wow, your magnificent.
Speaker 3: It's so beautiful.
Speaker 2: So I started this podcast because I called off my
Speaker 2: wedding four days before.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to get married.
Speaker 3: I'm so jealous.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you call me? Jesus?
Speaker 2: And the reason that I called off one of the
Speaker 2: reasons I called off the wedding is because my fiance
Speaker 2: at the time wouldn't send my prenap And you know,
Speaker 2: looking back now and reflecting back, I'm like, Okay, that
Speaker 2: was the biggest gift that.
Speaker 1: Anyone has given me.
Speaker 2: And so I am so grateful for that moment and
Speaker 2: for this podcast, and I've learned so much about myself,
Speaker 2: and I'm really excited to talk to you about dating
Speaker 2: in your fifties. Filter I would just jump into that
Speaker 2: quickly because it's a hot It's like a hot button topic,
Speaker 2: dating in your fifties.
Speaker 1: We were like, what's it like? Must be awful? Men?
Speaker 2: Are your pen pals? Like, what are your thoughts on
Speaker 2: dating in your fifties?
Speaker 3: Okay, so I am going to, like, you know, I
Speaker 3: pretty much disagree with all of that, only because, first
Speaker 3: of all, this is the first time I got I've dated.
Speaker 3: Think about it. I left when I was forty two.
Speaker 3: The first I would say, nine months was just sex
Speaker 3: because I hadn't had real sex. So I just wanted
Speaker 3: to experience that I'm not going to call that dating, right,
Speaker 3: The first guy slept was a twenty one year old
Speaker 3: SIRC to sole acrobat, so you get the general idea.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: And then I met a guy that became my boyfriend,
Speaker 3: and after I broke up with him, I met my husband.
Speaker 3: So I never actually got to date so the first
Speaker 3: time in my life, because you know, I didn't go
Speaker 3: to high school with boys. I didn't go to the prom,
Speaker 3: I didn't have my first kiss, I didn't have a
Speaker 3: first boyfriend. I married a guy I met for a
Speaker 3: bunch of hours and that was it, you know, and
Speaker 3: I'd never touched him before we married. So I just
Speaker 3: started dating at fifty three. So, you know, for me,
Speaker 3: it's so fun. You know, I'm having a last First
Speaker 3: of all, I tend to date very young. I date
Speaker 3: guys like late twenties, early Thirties's amazing, and we're kind
Speaker 3: of at the same place in our life, right, I've
Speaker 3: been working for twelve years. Guys in their thirties have
Speaker 3: left college, they've been working for twelve years, so we're
Speaker 3: in the same spot.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I've found that most guys my age, they want to
Speaker 3: play golf, they want to play tennis. They want to vacation.
Speaker 3: I'm just getting started. I love business, I love creating things.
Speaker 3: I have so many different companies that are actually going
Speaker 3: to be coming up in the next few years of
Speaker 3: things that I've invented. So my energy is not necessarily
Speaker 3: got for guys my age, you know. And so I've
Speaker 3: been having just an amazing time now. Of course, have
Speaker 3: I met anyone who I would consider a boyfriend?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Have I been having a lot of fun in the process, yes, yes,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's been great.
Speaker 2: Well, I was just wondering too, because, like we were
Speaker 2: saying that, you know, and I were in a very
Speaker 2: similar boat. Like, you know, when I was on Housewives
Speaker 2: and I got divorced, people were like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: you're single, Like what's wrong with you? Being single and
Speaker 2: having two children was like kind of like you had
Speaker 2: like some awful sease, infectious disease. I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 2: you know, a mindful human that wants to make sure
Speaker 2: that my girls have everything and just making sure.
Speaker 3: So you're stunning, like any guy on earth would be
Speaker 3: like literally on the floor your toes, begging to date you.
Speaker 2: I'm taking you with me, I'm gonna ping you in
Speaker 2: my pocket. I'm going to take you with you, at me,
Speaker 2: with me everywhere.
Speaker 1: I can't get over. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: But you know it's interesting that you know, and a
Speaker 2: lot of people were like, well, you know, because of
Speaker 2: what you've done in your past with your work and
Speaker 2: you know what you look like. You know, people are
Speaker 2: intimidated by you. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what so
Speaker 2: that so now? And now I'm supposed toill, like be
Speaker 2: on my back foot feeling like I shouldn't be, you know,
Speaker 2: showing off my superpower whatever that is I should be.
Speaker 1: It was very strange and it wasn't by men.
Speaker 3: It was by women.
Speaker 1: It was by women.
Speaker 3: But you know, what do you think of that? You
Speaker 3: know what's so interesting? When I was shituch dating, which
Speaker 3: is very different like when I was nineteen, I was
Speaker 3: going to the process of getting married and you know,
Speaker 3: there's a matchmaker and you meet the guy and it's
Speaker 3: only allowed to be in public, and it's only supposed
Speaker 3: to be the whole date cannot last for more than
Speaker 3: three hours, including driving, so you basically get like an
Speaker 3: hour and a half to two hours and you get
Speaker 3: you know, three to five dates. So somewhere between fifteen hours.
Speaker 3: You have to decide if this person is the person
Speaker 3: who needs spend the rest of your life with. And
Speaker 3: every time before I would go out, they would say
Speaker 3: to me, Julia, just don't talk. Don't let him know
Speaker 3: that you're smart. It's very men don't like that if
Speaker 3: you want to get married. Zip it. And I remember
Speaker 3: when I left my community I came to this world.
Speaker 3: I thought, no one is ever going to tell that
Speaker 3: to me again. And lo and behold, women get told
Speaker 3: that all the time, all the time, not back there
Speaker 3: here here, in this, in this world where there isn't
Speaker 3: supposed to be religious fundamentalism. And yes, it's so ingrained
Speaker 3: in our society that women are supposed to be quiet, demure.
Speaker 3: You know, someone asked me the other day, how do
Speaker 3: you know that it's inherent and intrinsic in our society,
Speaker 3: this inequity. And I always tell people, look at the words.
Speaker 3: You learn so much about a culture of society by
Speaker 3: the language. Right in Alaska there are more words for
Speaker 3: ice than in any other language in the world, which
Speaker 3: makes sense. They're surrounded by ice. Let's look at the
Speaker 3: words people use when they describe successful women bad ass, bitch.
Speaker 3: Why is it that men are not called bad asshole
Speaker 3: bastards when they're successful. They're captains of industry, right, think
Speaker 3: about it, right, they're captains of industry, they're leaders, they're titans.
Speaker 3: Women are bad ass bitches.
Speaker 2: Right or like boss, bitch and witch?
Speaker 3: Why think about the demure? Does that word ever apply
Speaker 3: to a man? Never? How about well behaved? Have you
Speaker 3: ever heard anyone ever say he's a well behaved man?
Speaker 1: Of course not.
Speaker 3: Women are supposed to be demure and well behaved and
Speaker 3: wait our turn and be polite because guess what, if
Speaker 3: you're not, they're not gonna call you a leader or charismatic.
Speaker 3: They're gonna say you're a seductress, which, by the way,
Speaker 3: I've gotten accused of. So I'm not charismatic. I'm no.
Speaker 1: Excuse my language, that's hell.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Why is it that men are charismatic but
Speaker 3: women are seductive? And the difference is that has a
Speaker 3: negative connotation and the other one is a compliment. So
Speaker 3: everything about you, you know, as I was driving over here,
Speaker 3: I was thinking about, you know, uh, lasers and injections
Speaker 3: and things because I was listening to somebody wait.
Speaker 1: To talk about and your relationships. You're thinking about lasers.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, seriously, I was. I was listening to somebody
Speaker 3: on the I mean, and the guy was like, you know,
Speaker 3: women spend so much money lasering themselves, injecting themselves. I
Speaker 3: don't do any of that stuff. And I think to myself,
Speaker 3: how incredibly hypocritical. The entire world forces us to look
Speaker 3: beautiful until the day we die, yells at us if
Speaker 3: we're not perfect, and then then complains that we have
Speaker 3: to do things to follow their version of what we
Speaker 3: should look like. I mean, it's a lose lose all around.
Speaker 3: No matter what you do, they're gonna yell at you.
Speaker 3: So my personal advice is just fall of it and
Speaker 3: do what makes it feel good.
Speaker 2: So let's talk about some mistakes, because you know, there's
Speaker 2: do you have any mistakes that you've made that you
Speaker 2: would tell your daughter to make the same ones.
Speaker 3: To make the same mistake as in meaning that it's
Speaker 3: not a mistake, right right.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3: A mistake, you know, I don't even know or care.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Like the mistakes that I've made are
Speaker 3: things that I think are mistakes, like getting married again,
Speaker 3: not listening to the voice inside my head. That's a
Speaker 3: danger danger being too trusting. You know, those the things
Speaker 3: that I think of a mistakes are real mistakes. What
Speaker 3: other people think of a mistakes. I stopped listening to
Speaker 3: that long ago. I don't even know. You'd have to
Speaker 3: ask other people. Yeah, I don't actually have an idea.
Speaker 2: There's one scene where you're sitting in your bedroom with
Speaker 2: your youngest daughter that really really struck a chord with me,
Speaker 2: and where you guys are talking about how you're in
Speaker 2: your room crying and she comes in, and you know,
Speaker 2: I had a similar situation like that where I was
Speaker 2: like literally cry in my closet, like I'm like, this
Speaker 2: is not my world, this is not my life, this
Speaker 2: is not my life. And I mean, you know, my
Speaker 2: ex husband's French. So as soon as we got married,
Speaker 2: he cut a fall in the tower. I had blonde,
Speaker 2: short hair, I had were turtlenecks and pants, and I
Speaker 2: was supposed to be like the perfect wife for him
Speaker 2: for you know, whatever he was doing while he was
Speaker 2: feeling gorgeous. And I'll never forget the day that I
Speaker 2: was like, this is over. I went to I was
Speaker 2: in Easthampton and I went to town and I bought this
Speaker 2: This aveda shampoo and I put the shampoo on my
Speaker 2: hair and it was, all of a sudden, my entire
Speaker 2: head went, you know, dark, because it's that that's that chestnut.
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously it looked like squirrel hair, but the point, yes,
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I was like, there I am,
Speaker 2: and like it was like a game changer. And you know,
Speaker 2: it's not my job to you know, I can say
Speaker 2: whatever I want about my ex because he's my ex.
Speaker 2: I don't like him when other people say anything about him,
Speaker 2: but you know, I'm so grateful for that moment. And
Speaker 2: when I saw you with your daughter, I was just like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you guys are so I love that
Speaker 2: you chose your children because I always choose my children.
Speaker 1: Oh it is.
Speaker 3: And you know what really hurt is that that scene
Speaker 3: that we were filming was at the end of January,
Speaker 3: and it wasn't me in my room or in my closet.
Speaker 3: It was me naked on the bathroom floor. Because what
Speaker 3: he used to do was scream at me when I
Speaker 3: was in the shower, when I was in the bath,
Speaker 3: when I was on the toilet, when I was at
Speaker 3: my most vulnerable. He would come and scream and yell
Speaker 3: at me, and that one time, it was so loud
Speaker 3: that my daughter heard it from upstairs and that's why
Speaker 3: she came downstairs to the bathroom to see what was
Speaker 3: going on. And then she called Badheva to say should
Speaker 3: I call the police? Like what do I do? Because
Speaker 3: she didn't come in to see me crying. She was
Speaker 3: standing by the door watching him scream and yell and
Speaker 3: brate me while I was naked on the floor crying.
Speaker 2: I am so sorry, and that did not come across
Speaker 2: and I am so sorry.
Speaker 3: And when we told that story to the judge because
Speaker 3: the I filed two complaints against him, and because I
Speaker 3: didn't mention it in the first complaint, and the reason
Speaker 3: I didn't is because I had thirty to write it
Speaker 3: and I was so distraught and I hadn't slept that
Speaker 3: I just didn't think of it. And then when I
Speaker 3: mentioned it in the second complaint, the judge didn't believe me, said,
Speaker 3: if it was true, it would have been mentioned in
Speaker 3: the first complaint. And I'll tell you something that really hurts,
Speaker 3: and that is that my telling my daughter that story
Speaker 3: was almost a week and a half before my first complaint,
Speaker 3: So if I had made it up to hurt him.
Speaker 3: I would have woul in the first thing I put
Speaker 3: in if I'd made it up, I would have made
Speaker 3: it up after before. But the reality is that's what happened,
Speaker 3: and the fact that women are just they're not believed.
Speaker 3: I had so much evidence and so much proof, and
Speaker 3: it took years, and it took two whistleblowers coming forward
Speaker 3: before I started being believed. And now, of course there's
Speaker 3: warrants out for his arrest. He's fled the country, his
Speaker 3: passport has been revoked, his license has been revoked. He
Speaker 3: tries to come in, he'll be arrested at customs. But
Speaker 3: it took three and a half years fighting before someone
Speaker 3: believed me.
Speaker 1: That is awful.
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting too because at the beginning, when
Speaker 2: you're talking about your like you're Gwyneth Paltrow uncoupling, if
Speaker 2: you will, Like you just seemed very calm and relaxed,
Speaker 2: and you're like basically like, you know, things don't necessarily
Speaker 2: things aren't what they seem and things aren't working out,
Speaker 2: and then later on we see just like how painful
Speaker 2: everything is for you, and you know, you know you
Speaker 2: can't just because you fall in love with someone doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that you understand how you're going to fall out
Speaker 2: of love with them.
Speaker 3: Or how they're going to treat you right, you know.
Speaker 3: To me in the beginning, it was a I just
Speaker 3: want to be left alone. I want to go my
Speaker 3: own way. I built a billion dollar business. You take half,
Speaker 3: I take half, and we walk away into the sunset.
Speaker 3: I had no desire to tell anyone what was going
Speaker 3: on in my marriage. It was extremely embarrassed at how
Speaker 3: I let him, you know, take advantage of me and
Speaker 3: the way that he treated me, and I just wanted
Speaker 3: it to be over. But then you know that song,
Speaker 3: don't lie about me, and I won't tell the truth
Speaker 3: about you. That's what happened. He lied, I had to
Speaker 3: tell the truth.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you were dropping some major stuff here. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that is unbelievable.
Speaker 2: So religion and relationships, because I have dated men that
Speaker 2: are Jewish, I am Catholic, my children are half Jewish.
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on religion and dating and.
Speaker 3: Relationship shouldn't matter. I think if a belief system supersedes love,
Speaker 3: then you're an extremist.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: Love is greater than what you call God or what
Speaker 3: food you eat or what place you worship. If you
Speaker 3: have love, does the rest really really matter? I don't
Speaker 3: think so. I don't believe it.
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting sitting here talking to you because
Speaker 2: you are so well put together. I mean you're physically
Speaker 2: so well put together, and you're mentally so well put together,
Speaker 2: and you're wildly articulate.
Speaker 1: Like what like there's I mean, there's obviously.
Speaker 2: So many things that have happened to you outside of
Speaker 2: just the religious factor and these and these two divorces,
Speaker 2: but like, what is it that was like your moment
Speaker 2: where you're just like, I just can't do this anymore.
Speaker 3: With with my marriage, I mean, in life, your marriage,
Speaker 3: it was so many There were so many moments where,
Speaker 3: you know, I think change is sometimes forced upon us
Speaker 3: because we get to a level of such extreme misery
Speaker 3: that we don't have a choice that it really comes
Speaker 3: down to I'm either going to end up killing myself
Speaker 3: or I got to get out of here. And and
Speaker 3: that's happened to me now twice in my life. First
Speaker 3: to get out of my community and then to get
Speaker 3: out of my marriage where it was really I watched
Speaker 3: myself being shrunk, I watched myself being pressed down into
Speaker 3: this invisible being, and I knew that I couldn't survive.
Speaker 3: So it was either fight for my freedom or just
Speaker 3: give up. And I don't have give up in my psyche.
Speaker 2: I also like the fact that you're like the like
Speaker 2: the ultimate matriarch where you organize this dinner for your
Speaker 2: ex husband and is not I mean, that was iconic
Speaker 2: and you're like, Okay, it's fine, Like everyone's just going
Speaker 2: to come to dinner or it's gonna hang out. If
Speaker 2: I tell the girls beforehand, they're not going to show
Speaker 2: up and everyone's like, what is going on here, You're like, it's.
Speaker 3: Fine, It's all about the children. In the end, Is
Speaker 3: it better for my children for the ex husband that
Speaker 3: I had kids with, Not Sylvia, but my first ex
Speaker 3: US friend. Is it better for my children for us
Speaker 3: to be friends or not? That was a question will
Speaker 3: it harm them or hurt or or you know, in
Speaker 3: other words, if he was a bad father, that would
Speaker 3: have been one thing.
Speaker 1: But he's not. He's a great dad.
Speaker 3: And because he's a great dad, that meant to me
Speaker 3: that no matter what the relationship between the two of
Speaker 3: us was, that should impact my kids. And I really
Speaker 3: wanted to make sure that even after he got married,
Speaker 3: which she has every right to do. Why not should
Speaker 3: live alone for the rest of his life. No, And
Speaker 3: I think his wife is a lovely, lovely person.
Speaker 1: She is, She's a.
Speaker 3: Wonderful human being. She treats my youngest so beautifully. I'm
Speaker 3: so grateful for that. And so I don't mess with
Speaker 3: people unless they torture me first. That's basically the rule.
Speaker 3: But then if you come for me, I will fight
Speaker 3: for truth on justice.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: I wish that you had been with me on Housewives.
Speaker 2: I would have brought you to Scary Island. I'd be like,
Speaker 2: here's my secret power name.
Speaker 1: It's Julia Hart.
Speaker 2: You and I would have a lot away from me.
Speaker 2: I've got Julie here. Everyone would be.
Speaker 3: Like, ah.
Speaker 2: So there's this whole new movement called, you know, the
Speaker 2: traditional wives. And I was watching on TikTok last night
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking to myself, like, I'm on the fence
Speaker 2: about how I.
Speaker 1: Feel about this. First of all, I want to hear
Speaker 1: your thoughts.
Speaker 3: And then I'll tell me I don't know that.
Speaker 2: So traditional wives is basically this kind of new mindset
Speaker 2: where women are, you know, at home, and that they're
Speaker 2: like the best wife like you were talking about before
Speaker 2: the quintessential wife where they're cooking and they're baking, and
Speaker 2: they're you know, serving their husbands and they're making sure
Speaker 2: that their children are you know, educated, and their home
Speaker 2: is night you know, is well kept. Like what do
Speaker 2: you think about this new movement? I mean the girls
Speaker 2: on the show on the on TikTok, like, listen, I
Speaker 2: support anyone who's making money, however they're making money. I
Speaker 2: am a like an avid supporter of women making money,
Speaker 2: hands down, but I'd just like think this is a
Speaker 2: very funny trend.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is going on? Do you have to
Speaker 1: wear ruffles to be a traditional? Like? What is you
Speaker 1: know what?
Speaker 3: I would say that it's not new. I would say
Speaker 3: it's someone going backwards in time, right. And you know,
Speaker 3: human nature is such that we crave the opposite of
Speaker 3: what we have, right. So, you know, kids who grew
Speaker 3: up in the sixties where it was wild, free love,
Speaker 3: they created a lot more structure. Women who grew up
Speaker 3: in a very structured society become more free. It's human
Speaker 3: nature to think that what your parents did was idiotic
Speaker 3: and to try something new. So because I think there's
Speaker 3: you know, there was the me too movement. There's this
Speaker 3: whole push for women to become financially independent. If I
Speaker 3: tell you how many times when I was creative director
Speaker 3: of La Perla, and I spent a lot of times
Speaker 3: in my store because to me, fashion when I came
Speaker 3: into fashion was for women, but it wasn't for women.
Speaker 3: Nobody cared how they felt. No one cared if they
Speaker 3: were comfortable. I got yelled at by magazine editors and
Speaker 3: told Julia comfort is a dirty word. Women are supposed
Speaker 3: to suffer for fashion. And I'm looking at them saying,
Speaker 3: what why?
Speaker 1: Who said?
Speaker 3: I mean, this is ridiculous. But that was the kind
Speaker 3: of concept right until literally twenty sixteen. They were stilling
Speaker 3: for a beauty. So I think it's just human nature.
Speaker 3: Is whatever your family or you know, the generation before
Speaker 3: you did, you're going to try the opposite way. So
Speaker 3: this is just a flashback. I would love to see
Speaker 3: these young ladies ten years into this, you know, being
Speaker 3: a perfect housewife where they don't have autonomy and they
Speaker 3: have to ask permission before they purchase something. And that's
Speaker 3: what I was saying about La Pearl. I would spend
Speaker 3: a lot of times in the store, and if I
Speaker 3: to you how many times a woman would come in
Speaker 3: and want to buy something and she'd say, I have
Speaker 3: to call my husband and see if I can buy it.
Speaker 3: I remember thinking to myself, my goal in this world
Speaker 3: is to make an army of financially independent women who
Speaker 3: never have to ask permission. And let's give them ten
Speaker 3: years in their perfect life where they don't make their
Speaker 3: own money and they have to ask their husband for everything.
Speaker 3: Let's get them on the show after that, because I
Speaker 3: promise you they'll be just as miserable as I was.
Speaker 2: Well, what's interesting because like the reason that the sixties,
Speaker 2: like you were talking about this free love, the reason
Speaker 2: that the sixties was this movement is.
Speaker 1: Because of the advent of the pill.
Speaker 2: So before that it was like you comunicated to pro create,
Speaker 2: like you're only having sex to have kids. Then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, the advent of the pill, and people
Speaker 2: are like feeling gorgeous, which is great, but you know,
Speaker 2: I think that I mean, there's there's there's there is
Speaker 2: five medium, right, there's not in middle society, and we're
Speaker 2: always going to have these different levels and layers and
Speaker 2: I and I, you know, whoever wants to live the
Speaker 2: life that they want to live.
Speaker 1: That's great. I mean, listen, would I like to, like.
Speaker 2: You know, be at home and taking care of my
Speaker 2: kids as opposed to like working like a workhorse.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have loved that. I would have loved
Speaker 1: to have been like be gorgeous thoroughbred and not be
Speaker 1: the draft horse. Like. I would have loved that.
Speaker 3: I think there's a difference here between wanting to be
Speaker 3: a traditional life and wanting to be a stay at
Speaker 3: home mom because to me, being a stay at home mom.
Speaker 3: If you want to be a stay at home mom,
Speaker 3: I think it's one of the most beautiful jobs on us.
Speaker 1: But you're also a CEO of the house. It's very stressful.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think of a
Speaker 3: stay at home mom as someone who is going back
Speaker 3: to me when you say, I don't know the movement,
Speaker 3: so I'm just to me. When I hear traditional wife,
Speaker 3: I hear someone who's not working, who's not making her
Speaker 3: own money, who's asking her husband for permission, who has
Speaker 3: an inferior role in the marriage. That's exactly what that is,
Speaker 3: as opposed to a stay at home mom, which I
Speaker 3: think is an extraordinarily beautiful thing to do. I was
Speaker 3: a stay at home mom and I loved every second
Speaker 3: of it. I worked as well. But if someone wants
Speaker 3: to not work and raise her children, I don't think
Speaker 3: that makes her traditional as long as you know, either
Speaker 3: she has a profession to fall back on if this
Speaker 3: hits the fan, or there's a way for her to
Speaker 3: take care of herself and her children. I just think
Speaker 3: every woman should be financially independent. I was with a
Speaker 3: friend of mine and she told me this story, and
Speaker 3: I think it's really applies to this. She's a Someone
Speaker 3: asked her she was speaking, and someone asked her what
Speaker 3: she does for a living, and she says, I run
Speaker 3: a home for unwanted children. And the whole audience was like, WHOA,
Speaker 3: that's amazing. Where do you find them? How does that work?
Speaker 3: And she's like, no, no, they're mine, but no one
Speaker 3: else wants them. And that's the truth.
Speaker 1: That is the truth.
Speaker 3: When you're a stay at home mom, A, you are
Speaker 3: raising human beings. I respect that, I admire that, and
Speaker 3: I think every woman should have the choice whether she
Speaker 3: just wants to do that, or wants to do that
Speaker 3: and work, or wants to just work. We shouldn't be
Speaker 3: punished for what we feel inside of our hearts. But
Speaker 3: that to me is not a traditional housewife. A traditional
Speaker 3: housewife is a mindset of the man is the boss
Speaker 3: that I'm not okay with.
Speaker 2: You know, It's interesting because I I am from Rockford, Illinois,
Speaker 2: so I was raised in this very traditional environment, suburban environment.
Speaker 2: My dad's lawyer. My mother was a stay at home mom.
Speaker 2: She was philanthropists. She you know, raised us, and you.
Speaker 1: Know, that's beautiful, that's how we were raised. And then my.
Speaker 2: Mother felt she was I've had really really severe migraines
Speaker 2: growing up, like very very severe from like my early childhood,
Speaker 2: and so she was very, very sick all the time,
Speaker 2: and being raised in an environment where she was so
Speaker 2: out of commission, out of commission and debilitated like irregularly.
Speaker 2: So it was a very difficult way to be raised
Speaker 2: because she was when she was on, she was on,
Speaker 2: and when she was off, she was off.
Speaker 1: And there was no kind of like she's going to
Speaker 1: be here, she's at work. She wasn't at work. She
Speaker 1: was just she couldn't, you know. So it was very
Speaker 1: difficult being raised in that environment.
Speaker 2: But what I think is fascinating is that later on
Speaker 2: she became she started working, so she was in this
Speaker 2: very traditional environment and then she had these you know this,
Speaker 2: these medical issues, and then she got you know, she
Speaker 2: she started to work. And you know, she always used
Speaker 2: to push us, be very very very aggressive about us
Speaker 2: working and providing. And my older sister and I always
Speaker 2: and I have a twin brother, but like always with us,
Speaker 2: like you have to.
Speaker 1: Make your own money. You have to have your that's
Speaker 1: my only rule. And it was just a strange.
Speaker 2: It was also like this odd messaging because on the
Speaker 2: one hand, it's like.
Speaker 3: That's not what she was right. She was trying to
Speaker 3: tell you that the way that she lived was not
Speaker 3: the way that she wanted you to live. And I
Speaker 3: think that's what I'm saying, Like I think, if you
Speaker 3: want to be a stay at home mom, it's beautiful.
Speaker 3: Just make sure you can support yourself, right. You always
Speaker 3: have to have that in your back pocket, whether it's
Speaker 3: a degree or a side job or something that you do.
Speaker 3: It may not take a lot of hours of your time,
Speaker 3: but you have to always know that if life takes
Speaker 3: a turn that you are not prepared for, you have
Speaker 3: a way to support yourself and your children.
Speaker 2: And that's what's interesting too, is that when I was
Speaker 2: on Housewives and I was obviously divorced, and people they
Speaker 2: would say like, well, you're like, you're fine because because
Speaker 2: you have so much money from your ex husban And
Speaker 2: I'm like, first of all, don't don't number one rule,
Speaker 2: do not count other people's money. You do not know
Speaker 2: how much they have. You don't know where that money
Speaker 2: comes from. You don't know how they make that money.
Speaker 2: You don't know, so what you don't know is none
Speaker 2: of your business. First of all, that is like number
Speaker 2: one rule. But what's interesting is that a lot of
Speaker 2: a lot of the housewives would say to me, well,
Speaker 2: I don't have money to leave. So then I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, Like wait a minute, what like these
Speaker 2: women is outpoor of women that are saying like I
Speaker 2: don't have the money to leave. I don't want to
Speaker 2: be in this situation. And if I did leave, what
Speaker 2: does my eventuality look like? So I'm just I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm not your you know this mentor of this. I
Speaker 2: don't know how I became this person and this voice,
Speaker 2: but it was it was really, you know, unsettling, and
Speaker 2: I felt and it made me feel very uncomfortable, Like
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do I give these women tools and
Speaker 2: their tool belt to like understand. I mean, you have
Speaker 2: you have a lot of confidence. You know you you
Speaker 2: have gotten divorced, and you've been in these very very
Speaker 2: very difficult situations.
Speaker 3: But I'm not divorced yet. I'm still divorced. I literally
Speaker 3: asked them for divorce nine months after my marriage and
Speaker 3: it's three and a half career.
Speaker 2: I mean, my point is, you're a unicorn in terms
Speaker 2: of how you're navigating all these different worlds. Whether it's
Speaker 2: you know you're divorced, whether the religion, the relationships, all
Speaker 2: of these things. You are a complete unicorn and it's
Speaker 2: really really difficult for.
Speaker 1: A lot of women.
Speaker 2: And so I mean that's been great for me too
Speaker 2: to be on this podcast. I'm like, listen, you know,
Speaker 2: life sucks, and some people really suck, but some people
Speaker 2: don't like And I'm here too, like I'm learning from
Speaker 2: all of you guys about like how to be better
Speaker 2: and how to do navigate things differently. One thing I
Speaker 2: wanted to ask you is your daughter, So she also
Speaker 2: is she's divorced.
Speaker 3: Yes, the oldest. By the way, she's gorgeous. Sometimes I
Speaker 3: look at my kids and I'm like these human beings
Speaker 3: came out of my body. They're like insanely extraordinary.
Speaker 2: Really savvy and incredible style, and they're like, hey, I'm like,
Speaker 2: what is going on here?
Speaker 1: Like I really like her dress? Is that weird? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh, like I supposed to be watching the show. Okay,
Speaker 2: I digress. But so what were your thoughts when she
Speaker 2: was getting divorced?
Speaker 3: You know, I was just so happy for her. I
Speaker 3: was so proud of her. Of course, I would never
Speaker 3: ever say anything, you know.
Speaker 1: To me.
Speaker 3: Your job as a parent is to give your children
Speaker 3: the tools to live the life they want, right, That's
Speaker 3: my only job was to provide all the tools and
Speaker 3: then let them do whatever they wanted with them. And
Speaker 3: the fact that she stood up for herself and said
Speaker 3: this is not what I want, and that she did
Speaker 3: it with such gentleness and such grace and such maturity,
Speaker 3: and you know, look at her life now. She's living
Speaker 3: her best life. And I'm just so proud of her,
Speaker 3: so incredibly proud of her.
Speaker 1: I mean that shows and she is so well adjusted.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable, unbelievable. I was like, wait a minute, I
Speaker 1: was a train wreck, and she's like amazing.
Speaker 3: So calm, she meditated, She centered herself, she found a
Speaker 3: way forward, she worked through it. She never like tried
Speaker 3: to push all the problems behind. She really really put
Speaker 3: in the work. And now she's she's glowing. Like you
Speaker 3: see her. You can't miss the radiance. You know, it's amazing, amazing.
Speaker 1: I mean it's like mother like daughter.
Speaker 2: You guys are like you are, You're just I mean,
Speaker 2: you definitely raise your girls. Well, thank you all your children.
Speaker 2: So eat, pray love. Oh do you have any prey
Speaker 2: love moment?
Speaker 3: So you know, I have become a massive meditator, Like
Speaker 3: this morning, I meditated for two hours and forty minutes.
Speaker 3: I know, but I get up at five, so so
Speaker 3: it's yeah, it's seven forty. You know, I'm already done.
Speaker 1: But meditate. Like, let's go walk back, walk through that.
Speaker 1: Do you what do you do? I do?
Speaker 3: Doctor Joe despends some meditations because it's very scientific. I'm
Speaker 3: a math girl, right, I like numbers. I like data. Right, Like,
Speaker 3: if you tell me, just believe you've lost me. Right,
Speaker 3: I already was in a religion where I was, oh,
Speaker 3: just believe this, and if that doesn't make sense, just
Speaker 3: believe that.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear that this is science, right,
Speaker 3: It's about your penial gland and your cerebrospinal fluid and secreting,
Speaker 3: you know, different things between serotonin and melatonin, derivatives of that,
Speaker 3: all the things that it's basically what I would I
Speaker 3: call it quantum living in the sense that it's teaching
Speaker 3: you self mastery. Wait, that's very good, my quantum living.
Speaker 3: That's literally what it is. It's existing in a space
Speaker 3: in your mind that kind of supersedes what you're living
Speaker 3: through in the moment. Because if I would have a
Speaker 3: let everything that was going on outside to impact me completely,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have survived. I wouldn't have survived. Three and
Speaker 3: a half years ago, I would walk out my door
Speaker 3: and people would look at me and say thief. Right,
Speaker 3: because you may not remember this. It's a long time
Speaker 3: ago now for everyone but me, because of course it
Speaker 3: happened to me. When I first filed for divorce, Sylvia
Speaker 3: accused me of theft, met mismanaging company money. I think
Speaker 3: pretty much con artists a doctriss. I think I got
Speaker 3: accused of everything women have ever been accused of, other
Speaker 3: than witchcraft. I think that is literally the only accusation
Speaker 3: he did not throw on my head. And it wasn't
Speaker 3: until like nine months later when the first whistleblower came
Speaker 3: forward and said, here's thirty thousand documents. She didn't take
Speaker 3: a penny. He's the one that's been stealing from the company.
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden everything changed, and then
Speaker 3: we got bank statements, and then all the proof came out,
Speaker 3: and then discovery, and then all of a sudden, he's
Speaker 3: on the run from the law. But I had to
Speaker 3: live through the those first months, there was over two
Speaker 3: hundred articles calling me a thief and a liar. I
Speaker 3: would walk into a room where people literally thought I
Speaker 3: stole from my own company, which was insane. Insane Why
Speaker 3: because four guys said so without any proof. It made
Speaker 3: no difference everything I had built and everything I'd worked for.
Speaker 3: All it took was a couple of guys line for
Speaker 3: it all to be taken away from me.
Speaker 2: It's so fascinating because, like you know, people think that
Speaker 2: because it's someone says.
Speaker 1: It must, but it's fact.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, just because I mean on housewhid people
Speaker 2: are like, you're crazy. I'm like, okay, if I'm so crazy,
Speaker 2: then I wouldn't be able to raise two children on
Speaker 2: my own. I have my MBA, I licensed in four states.
Speaker 2: I've done x amount of X, Like, you can't be
Speaker 2: crazy and do the things the volume of work that
Speaker 2: I've done. But just because one person says that, everyone's like, oh,
Speaker 2: must be true, I'm like, no, no, no, you don't have
Speaker 2: to be You don't have to like follow everyone. You
Speaker 2: can like beat your own drummer and do your own
Speaker 2: things and your own way.
Speaker 3: But the lesson to me was awful. The lesson to
Speaker 3: me was one woman with thousands of documents of proof
Speaker 3: against three men with no proof, and I didn't stand
Speaker 3: a chance. Literally, that's what happened. And if I hadn't
Speaker 3: kept fighting until it came time to discovery, until it
Speaker 3: came time for the documents, they probably would have gotten
Speaker 3: away with it. And the only way to survive that
Speaker 3: was to find a way to be whole on my
Speaker 3: inside while while the world around me was going crazy.
Speaker 3: And that's what quantum living to me is, It's that
Speaker 3: you're the external. What's going on in the external can't
Speaker 3: mess with your insides because your insides are so strong,
Speaker 3: your heart is so strong, your faith is so strong
Speaker 3: that nothing can mess with you, and that's how I
Speaker 3: survived it. And that's doctor Joe Despenza. I mean, I
Speaker 3: actually learned about it when I was in the front
Speaker 3: in January twenty twenty three. I'm in the front lines
Speaker 3: of Bachhmut in Ukraine, sleeping in an officer's bays because
Speaker 3: I had brought I'd driven an ambulance through Ukraine during
Speaker 3: the war and Bachmut was where like all the fighting
Speaker 3: was in January twenty twenty three, and I'm literally there
Speaker 3: getting missiles blown at my head and like hiding under
Speaker 3: mud when there's literally guns like bullets flying. And one
Speaker 3: of the people I was with was so calm, and
Speaker 3: I was like, dude, what the f how are you
Speaker 3: so calm? And he told me Doctor Joe despends it
Speaker 3: and tells me about this book. So I start reading
Speaker 3: and I start meditating there in Ukraine in the front lines,
Speaker 3: January twenty twenty three. And here it is two and
Speaker 3: a half later, two and a half years later, and
Speaker 3: I've already won my fifty percent of the company, plus
Speaker 3: control over his fifty percent of the company, plus you know,
Speaker 3: a decent sum. And now we're getting close to the
Speaker 3: end of the divorce where hopefully a lot more will
Speaker 3: be coming.
Speaker 2: So now you can like be more mindful and more
Speaker 2: strategic and be more data driven as opposed to like
Speaker 2: as a so emotional.
Speaker 3: Well, it's more that my emotions aren't impacted by what
Speaker 3: happens on the outside. You know, when terrible things happen,
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean I have to feel terrible, right. The
Speaker 3: one thing we can.
Speaker 1: Control is truly, yeah, I feel you do not.
Speaker 3: That's quantum living. I agree that to me is what
Speaker 3: has not me a lot. Just because the world tells
Speaker 3: you and difficult things are happening in your life, inside
Speaker 3: here you can still feel joy. And then I learned
Speaker 3: something really silly, which is going to sound silly, but
Speaker 3: it's I promise you that if you actually incorporate this
Speaker 3: into your life, like everything changes. It feels good to
Speaker 3: feel good.
Speaker 1: I say that, It just feels good to feel good.
Speaker 1: That's what I say, even.
Speaker 3: If you have no reason to feel good, even if
Speaker 3: you have all the reasons to feel terrible.
Speaker 2: It just feels good to feel That's what I say.
Speaker 2: I talk about that, and I also talk about, you know,
Speaker 2: kinetic energy. I was like, you can have frenetic which
Speaker 2: is up and down, you can be you can be
Speaker 2: like having these like pigs and valleys all day long
Speaker 2: and you can like love your life, or you could
Speaker 2: just have a great, great day with like all this
Speaker 2: good news happening and fielding the fire and like take
Speaker 2: you like Okay, I can handle this, I can handle that.
Speaker 1: Or you can be like woo woo.
Speaker 3: It doesn't feel good to feel good even when there's
Speaker 3: nothing outside to make you feel good, even if there's
Speaker 3: so much difficulty in your life, How is it going
Speaker 3: to make it better to feel miserable? It just doesn't.
Speaker 3: It doesn't.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's shift gears for one second. Because you spend
Speaker 2: your days with the hottest woman on the planet, with
Speaker 2: elite world groups, so you are around the most beautiful
Speaker 2: women in the world. Have you ever had a moment
Speaker 2: where you're just where one of your girls came in
Speaker 2: and was like, Julia, I'm having a really difficult time.
Speaker 2: I need your advice with personal issues like this as well.
Speaker 2: And if that has happened, what was your advice?
Speaker 3: Well, I have you know. I don't deal on the
Speaker 3: day to day with models, right because I have agents
Speaker 3: who do so. But the times where I do speak
Speaker 3: to people and I do get feedback. I tell this
Speaker 3: to people all the time. It doesn't matter if you're
Speaker 3: beautiful or not. The world will try and push you down.
Speaker 3: The world will try and make you feel insecure. And
Speaker 3: think about what a model has to go through every day.
Speaker 3: Constant rejection, constant regions. Oh my god, think about that,
Speaker 3: constant rejections again.
Speaker 1: You I started having I started at fifteen.
Speaker 3: So I'm sure you know. Oh my god, you're too tall,
Speaker 3: you're too scary, you're too fat, You're to this, You're
Speaker 3: aware is not your nose. I mean, think about the
Speaker 3: amount of rejection women have to face. So it isn't
Speaker 3: about being the most beautiful woman on the planet. Unfortunately,
Speaker 3: life is cruel to women, whether they're beautiful or not.
Speaker 3: And that's why we have to have this deep inner
Speaker 3: core because if we're going to look for our self
Speaker 3: worth outside of ourselves, we're going to spend our whole
Speaker 3: life looking and we're never gonna find it. We have
Speaker 3: to find it on the inside. I had to you know,
Speaker 3: how you can kill words that if someone says a word,
Speaker 3: it doesn't show up on your Instagram.
Speaker 1: Yeh.
Speaker 3: I had to kill the words boobs, breasts, decolte, because
Speaker 3: I would get at least twenty comments a day. We
Speaker 3: find your breasts objectionable, you're so old? Why are you
Speaker 3: wearing low cut tops? And I was like, oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: You know what, why not I would say why? You
Speaker 1: know what?
Speaker 3: I just don't care. I don't care. I don't have
Speaker 3: to explain myself.
Speaker 1: I mean you're smoking hot though, Like this makes me.
Speaker 3: Feel good and that's all that matters.
Speaker 1: And if that's their problem, sorry.
Speaker 3: It's fine, but I just I don't need to hear it, right,
Speaker 3: I don't. I just don't care.
Speaker 2: Right, It's a brave new world where like now, like
Speaker 2: it's not just like you're making these decisions at home
Speaker 2: where you're you know, in your you know, over the
Speaker 2: you know, over a you know, a cup of coffe
Speaker 2: and you're saying we're not not we're going to you know,
Speaker 2: not be together. Now it's like everyone has their two
Speaker 2: cents and you know, you've just been through so so
Speaker 2: so I don't even know, Like I literally don't even
Speaker 2: know like how to like deal with this conversation. I
Speaker 2: just am like very in awe of how you really
Speaker 2: managed everything because and just like.
Speaker 1: You're cool, you're just like you are.
Speaker 2: You're there's easy going and you're cool, and I mean
Speaker 2: even the way that you're with your children, and I
Speaker 2: just I really, I mean that you got me at
Speaker 2: I choose my I chose my children first. That was like, so,
Speaker 2: what happens if you meet this like really hot new
Speaker 2: guy who's going to enter the villa and he's going
Speaker 2: to see a beautiful girl, Julia Hart. What are you
Speaker 2: going to do if he's like, Okay, I love your kids,
Speaker 2: but they're older, like let's just be together.
Speaker 1: I mean, how are you going to handle that? We
Speaker 1: now have It's gonna It's gonna happen, you know, author
Speaker 1: in my family.
Speaker 3: And that is if any of us, myself included, meet
Speaker 3: someone that we think is boyfriend material, not like what
Speaker 3: I'm doing now, which is just like funning fun, but
Speaker 3: like full on boyfriend material, they have to come to
Speaker 3: family dinner and then the whole family votes, and if
Speaker 3: the family votes, know that person is out out. And
Speaker 3: there was only one guy in the last you know,
Speaker 3: since I filed for divorce the last three years that
Speaker 3: I thought like maybe maybe I brought him to dinner.
Speaker 3: My kids were like absolutely out of the question, and
Speaker 3: I broke up with him that night. I love that
Speaker 3: we are a package deal.
Speaker 1: Is there like a word? There is no more like
Speaker 1: a word that's like no, are you guys? Just like
Speaker 1: saying no, just.
Speaker 3: Like ack factor if factor. If one of my kids
Speaker 3: gets the ick, that person is out. We are a
Speaker 3: package deal. Either you love all of us or you
Speaker 3: don't get to love.
Speaker 1: Any of us.
Speaker 3: That's the rule. And I also tell my kids if
Speaker 3: I ever think I am ever going to get married again,
Speaker 3: or if I even say the word I told them,
Speaker 3: throw me off the nearest cliff faster death. It means
Speaker 3: I've clearly lost my mind never getting married.
Speaker 1: So marriage is off the table for me.
Speaker 3: Yes, I understand that my kids want to get married,
Speaker 3: and I think marriage is beautiful. I think if you're
Speaker 3: going to have children, I think it's really nice for
Speaker 3: kids to know that mommy and daddy, or mommy and mommy,
Speaker 3: or daddy and daddy, or however your family is structured
Speaker 3: that they're both legally required to be there. I think
Speaker 3: that's beautiful. At my age, my children are grown. Why
Speaker 3: do I want to put a legal contract on love.
Speaker 3: I want someone to wake up every morning, look at
Speaker 3: me and choose me have.
Speaker 2: You been to be speaking to my youngest daughter, because
Speaker 2: she basically said that on my last podcast. She was like, Mommy,
Speaker 2: you do not have to get married again. I said,
Speaker 2: it's not that I have see on the opposite, I
Speaker 2: want to get I want to get married for the
Speaker 2: first time. I spoke with the therapist when I started
Speaker 2: this podcast, and she said, you're going to have your
Speaker 2: first wedding, and that what she meant by that is
Speaker 2: that you're going to have a wedding, a family, a marriage,
Speaker 2: You're going to go on a honeymoon, You're going to
Speaker 2: have a real love life partner. And that's what I'm
Speaker 2: looking for.
Speaker 3: That's great, I want to love life partner. I just
Speaker 3: don't want to put a contract contract. Why do you
Speaker 3: need That's my point, Like, why do you need a contract?
Speaker 3: Because you can have a you can have a ceremony.
Speaker 3: You can have a ceremony celebrating yourselves and your love
Speaker 3: the second you put a legal contract on it. The
Speaker 3: second you're and think about it, it's the only contract
Speaker 3: that has no expiration date. Your license has an expiration date,
Speaker 3: Every business contract has an expiration date. And when you
Speaker 3: add to that the fact that when this whole idea
Speaker 3: of marriage was created. People's life expectancy was into their
Speaker 3: mid thirties. The average person died within a thirty year pero.
Speaker 3: They got married at fourteen, they were dead by thirty six,
Speaker 3: so they only had to live with each other for
Speaker 3: twenty years. Now, you get married at I don't know,
Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty eight, thirty, and you're around until you're
Speaker 3: ninety five one hundred. That means you're living with the
Speaker 3: same for seventy years.
Speaker 1: Okay, this DoD is making to my stomach. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I go.
Speaker 3: So I'm saying do I want real love? Of course
Speaker 3: I do. Do I want someone to be my life partner? Yes,
Speaker 3: I'm good at loving. Okay, I'm a gardener. I have
Speaker 3: seven younger siblings. I've been taking care of people since
Speaker 3: I'm old enough to speak.
Speaker 1: Well, what about someone taking care of you?
Speaker 3: And I want someone to garden me back? No question
Speaker 3: about it. However, what does he look like? Honestly, I
Speaker 3: do not have a type. I don't care tall, short,
Speaker 3: I don't care hair, no hair. I do care about
Speaker 3: fitness because I'm very fit and someone needs to keep up.
Speaker 1: Does he have to be the acrobat or like.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, he does have to be really adept
Speaker 3: in that area. Let's be honest. You know there's women
Speaker 3: who like it, a woman who like it more. I
Speaker 3: am a woman who's very I am a very physical person.
Speaker 3: So I definitely need someone who, you know, knows their
Speaker 3: way around bed. And I don't meant how to make
Speaker 3: it and.
Speaker 1: I don't how to make it in the morning.
Speaker 3: To you, this is not but you know, to me,
Speaker 3: the things that I'm really looking for, and they're going
Speaker 3: to sound so like goofy, but these are things that
Speaker 3: based on my experience, I now understand that I can't
Speaker 3: take them for granted. They're not always there. And that
Speaker 3: is number one. Top top top is kindness. That's the
Speaker 3: first someone who is kind I am so tired of cruelty.
Speaker 3: I am so tired of it. I want kindness, But
Speaker 3: is it.
Speaker 1: Really cruelty or do they just like think was right?
Speaker 1: He was.
Speaker 2: He was saying that a lot of guys they get there,
Speaker 2: they are getting like people. There's a lot of backlash
Speaker 2: because these eyes are like learning like how to gaslight
Speaker 2: and I'm like when they try to gaslight me, I'm
Speaker 2: just like, I'm like you are trying to feel gorgeous.
Speaker 2: And by the way, like most of the time I'm
Speaker 2: wearing ear pods and so I'm not really listening to.
Speaker 3: Any that's abuse, you know. I So that is cruelty
Speaker 3: and to me, that's number one kindness. After that comes loyalty. Loyalty,
Speaker 3: it's a big one for me. And then unfortunately, because
Speaker 3: it would be so much easier to find kindness and
Speaker 3: lived if I didn't need the third one, which is intellect.
Speaker 3: I do need someone who can keep up because my
Speaker 3: mind is its own being, and you know, I need
Speaker 3: someone who can keep up.
Speaker 2: So with all four, I'm going to go. I'm going
Speaker 2: to go with the kindness. Loyalty is hands down, because
Speaker 2: every single man I've every dad has been a cheater
Speaker 2: except for one. Cheaters just like love me and I
Speaker 2: like attract cheaters. I need bugs stray for like no cheating.
Speaker 2: So I like the kindness, I like the loyalty, and
Speaker 2: I like the athleticism, and the intellect is mandatory.
Speaker 1: I cannot.
Speaker 2: I mean, I want to learn from my partner. I
Speaker 2: want to be sitting there and be like, what are
Speaker 2: your thoughts? I mean, I work with the most amazing
Speaker 2: women all day long, who are so smart? I don't
Speaker 2: want to go home and work and be with someone
Speaker 2: who isn't challenging me.
Speaker 3: Well, honestly, I'm at the point where.
Speaker 1: I don't want your thoughts on quantum living.
Speaker 3: But I mean, so they have to challenge me. And
Speaker 3: they don't have to be honestly smarter than me or
Speaker 3: even as smart as me. They've got at least keep
Speaker 3: up right exactly, they got to keep.
Speaker 2: Up Before we leave, I want you to tell our
Speaker 2: audience about body by Julia.
Speaker 1: This is your shape where brain.
Speaker 2: I'm wearing my bro right now and I was looking
Speaker 2: at it and it's amazing, and your daughter looks gorgeous
Speaker 2: on Instagram. And because women you want to get themselves
Speaker 2: and feel get themselves back.
Speaker 1: Together and feel good.
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts about the shapewear and why did
Speaker 2: you create shapewear?
Speaker 3: So okay, I'm so excited that you brought this up.
Speaker 3: And also it's literally in thirty days from now, so
Speaker 3: like mid August, we are coming out with a hybrid
Speaker 3: You ready for this. It's clothing that has the bra
Speaker 3: built inside and the shapewear inside. So and I'm going
Speaker 3: to send you one. It hasn't come out yet. It's
Speaker 3: it'll be online and hopefully in store shortly. But basically,
Speaker 3: it's clothes that are not just sold by your dress size,
Speaker 3: but by your cup size. So you can buy a
Speaker 3: tank top that's an extra small double D or tank
Speaker 3: tops that it's an extra small A. You can buy
Speaker 3: a body suit that's an extra large F cup or
Speaker 3: an extra large B cup. So the bra is built inside.
Speaker 3: And because it's built inside, we use the structure of
Speaker 3: the clothing so there's no strap. Because we all know
Speaker 3: that every woman on our earth, I've never met any
Speaker 3: woman who disagrees with me. The first thing you do
Speaker 3: when you get home is you unhook that strap in
Speaker 3: the back because it's so freaking uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Well you don't I have a scar from.
Speaker 3: Yeah, serious, everyone does. I don't know a single woman
Speaker 3: that that's not the first thing she does. Well, this
Speaker 3: bra has no straps. We use the structure of the
Speaker 3: clothing to keep the bra in place. And I'm gonna
Speaker 3: be honest, I'm fifty four years old, I'm a double D.
Speaker 3: Oh no not anymore, I'm a D cup now. And uh,
Speaker 3: they they wander, they don't stay put. I'm fifty four
Speaker 3: and to be able to wear a shirt where I
Speaker 3: don't have to wear a bra because the bra is
Speaker 3: built inside and it holds me in place and I'm
Speaker 3: never concerned about anything moving. It feels amazing. And the
Speaker 3: shapewear's in there too, so it's very comfortably shaping. It
Speaker 3: just holds things in place. But it makes you not
Speaker 3: have to wear layers. And then for.
Speaker 1: Uh, for.
Speaker 3: It's a bodysuit tops, it's t shirts. It's closed. It's
Speaker 3: full on closed, and I love bodysuits and it but
Speaker 3: the bras inside and the shapers.
Speaker 1: Because you have to get and then I wear sometimes
Speaker 1: I have to wear this banks.
Speaker 3: But imagine if you have it all went together. And
Speaker 3: then in November we are going to launch Shape or swimwear.
Speaker 3: It looks like regular swimwear. You'd never know the difference.
Speaker 3: But because of our technology where we can make things
Speaker 3: colored and patterned, it's got the bral so it's going
Speaker 3: to pop you up, and because it's a stretching material,
Speaker 3: you've got everything. It's literally one of my models said
Speaker 3: to me, Julia, you should really tell people all the
Speaker 3: time that it's a tummy tuck, a boob job and what.
Speaker 1: Was the other thing?
Speaker 3: A tummy tuck, a boob job, and light boat in
Speaker 3: one outfit's amazing.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Now that is serious because you know what women after
Speaker 2: their forties, they you can't you can't help it. I
Speaker 2: mean it just your body is starting to shift gears.
Speaker 2: I mean it's just your your your boobs start to sag,
Speaker 2: and your stomach starts to make friends with leaves and
Speaker 2: go places, and it's like, get over here, what is
Speaker 2: going on? I'm like, why is my stomach not flat?
Speaker 2: Like it used to be flat? And now I'm like that.
Speaker 3: You never think, like Halle Berry from you know, James
Speaker 3: Bond movie, like little shorts tanky like shorts boys shorts,
Speaker 3: so pops up your butt, holds your thighs in place
Speaker 3: so you don't have those cottage cheesy legs. And then
Speaker 3: you have a tanky any super sexy. No one would
Speaker 3: ever know except it's shape where and it's also a brawl.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 3: I'm really excited about it.
Speaker 2: And also for even like for for you know, like
Speaker 2: red carpets and everything, people are like what do you
Speaker 2: wear underneath?
Speaker 1: Like You're like, no, that is so not fair.
Speaker 2: First of all, like I'm a human I have I'm flawed.
Speaker 2: I'm not perfect everything. I'm not the same weight and
Speaker 2: shape every single I like people's weight fluctuates. Yeah, like
Speaker 2: some days you might be a little thinner, some days
Speaker 2: you might be a little more bloated. Like your weight
Speaker 2: fluctuates as a woman. I don't think it's unfair.
Speaker 3: I can't believe that.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like I need a little love over there.
Speaker 3: So I'm literally like, I'm sitting here and I'm like,
Speaker 3: holy because I was about to say something and you
Speaker 3: just literally told me the reason why I'm doing this.
Speaker 3: The next part next year is we are making gowns
Speaker 3: ready red carpet wear with your bra and your shapewear
Speaker 3: built in for that exact reason, because exactly as you said,
Speaker 3: we're women, we're human, So why should we have to
Speaker 3: wear nine hundred layers and then get embarrassed on the
Speaker 3: red carpet and be like, what are you wearing under?
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm going to be designing and we're going to
Speaker 3: launch it next year full on Julia Hart design. Because
Speaker 3: you know, I've made Kemonel Jenner's dress for the net Gal,
Speaker 3: I've made some pretty fabulous red carpet wear when I
Speaker 3: was at La Perla. I'm going to be designing red
Speaker 3: carpet wear wedding gowns that whole volume with your braw
Speaker 3: and the shape we're built inside. So when someone asks
Speaker 3: you when are you wearing under? It's all snarky and mean.
Speaker 3: You can say nothing but my fabulous body, bitch.
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. Julia, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: I'll be coming to dinner with my man friends and
Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, Julia and her family and my kids,
Speaker 2: tell me.
Speaker 1: Is this the a your name? Well?
Speaker 3: Seriously, they you know, they love me, so they're gonna
Speaker 3: want the best for me.
Speaker 1: You know, I love it. Congratulations, my unicorn, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Nice to see you. Nice to see you too.
Speaker 2: Are you navigating your own life after divorce and needing
Speaker 2: to figure out what your next chapter looks like? Need
Speaker 2: some guidance? Call us or email us all the infos
Speaker 2: in the show notes, follow us on socials, and make
Speaker 2: sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part
Speaker 2: two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the
Speaker 2: main objective.