1 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two. 2 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 2: I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly ben Simon, and 3 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 2: today I have an incredible guest. You know her as 4 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 2: the star of Netflix My Unorthodox Life. She's the CEO 5 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 2: of Elite World Group, a fashion designer, an entrepreneur, and 6 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 2: all around bedass And like all of us on this pod, 7 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 2: she's been through it in the love department. I can't 8 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: wait to dive into religion and relationships. 9 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: Please welcome Julia Hart, Hi with the Big Heart. Listen. 10 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: I need to talk to you. I've watched your. 11 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 2: Show, My Unorthodox Life, and first of all, I want 12 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 2: to tell you I really appreciate you who for you 13 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 2: you are, your opening up about your your own journey, 14 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 2: and your daughters are so beautiful, and your son. I 15 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 2: was very moved, very very moved, And I was watching 16 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 2: the show with my youngest daughter, and so we were 17 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 2: just very you know, taken aback by your story and 18 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 2: just the way that you raise your children. And it 19 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,759 Speaker 2: was just very really, really beautiful. So, for those who 20 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 2: don't know, Julia Hart is iconic, and she came from 21 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 2: an ultra orthodox Jewish community. So for those who aren't 22 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 2: familiar with with Orthodox lifestyle. Can you explain to our 23 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 2: audience what that looks like. 24 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 3: Well, just think of it as a mix between Bridgerton 25 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 3: and Handmaid's Tale, so minus the fabulous costumes and the 26 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 3: gowns and the parties. Basically, you're defined by your biology 27 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 3: as a woman. You have one purpose in life, and 28 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 3: all women are supposed to do the exact same thing, 29 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 3: and that is have children, get married, be subservient to 30 00:01:55,640 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 3: your husband. And basically your ability to be good or 31 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 3: bad is all dependent on a man. So if you're 32 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 3: a good woman, that means you don't attract me ale attention. 33 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 3: You keep in the background, you stay silent, you do 34 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 3: whatever your husband tells you, and you just raise as 35 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 3: many babies as humanly possible. A bad woman is someone 36 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 3: who is outgoing, who is noticeable, who argues with men. 37 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 3: So your entire destiny, who you are as a human being, 38 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 3: is all in a relation to a man. That's pretty 39 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 3: much it. 40 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: Wow, was there anything about the Orthodox life that you liked? 41 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 3: Community? I love the people there, you know, I always say, 42 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 3: even in my book, there are no villains in my story, right, 43 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 3: there's only victims because the people in the community are extraordinary. 44 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 3: When my brother was killed. My brother died when he 45 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 3: was five. He was killed in a car accident. And 46 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 3: if I tell you that, every person in that community 47 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 3: found a way to make us feel loved. We had 48 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 3: CEOs sweeping our floor, we had people bringing us food 49 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 3: every day. The community. The sense of love that's there 50 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 3: is really beautiful. And I think also there's some traits 51 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 3: that you know, are so instilled in you that I 52 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 3: think they've really carried me well throughout, you know, the 53 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 3: rest of my journey so far. Gratitude is a big one. 54 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 3: You are always in a state of gratitude. And I 55 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 3: think that that's something that gets lost here in the 56 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 3: outside world. Is it's give me, give me, give me, 57 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 3: not think you, thank you, thank you. And I think 58 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 3: if more people were looking at what they owed the 59 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 3: world and what the world owed them, would be in 60 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 3: a much better place. 61 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 2: That is so beautifully well said. And I mean, I 62 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 2: just I'm just I'm very like, I'm just very moved 63 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 2: by you. 64 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: So you know, if you. 65 00:03:53,640 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 3: Just I mean, you are absolutely stunningly kid. Wow, your magnificent. 66 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 3: It's so beautiful. 67 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 2: So I started this podcast because I called off my 68 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 2: wedding four days before. 69 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: I was supposed to get married. 70 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 3: I'm so jealous. 71 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: Why didn't you call me? Jesus? 72 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 2: And the reason that I called off one of the 73 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 2: reasons I called off the wedding is because my fiance 74 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 2: at the time wouldn't send my prenap And you know, 75 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 2: looking back now and reflecting back, I'm like, Okay, that 76 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 2: was the biggest gift that. 77 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 1: Anyone has given me. 78 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 2: And so I am so grateful for that moment and 79 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 2: for this podcast, and I've learned so much about myself, 80 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 2: and I'm really excited to talk to you about dating 81 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 2: in your fifties. Filter I would just jump into that 82 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 2: quickly because it's a hot It's like a hot button topic, 83 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 2: dating in your fifties. 84 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 1: We were like, what's it like? Must be awful? Men? 85 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 2: Are your pen pals? Like, what are your thoughts on 86 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 2: dating in your fifties? 87 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 3: Okay, so I am going to, like, you know, I 88 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 3: pretty much disagree with all of that, only because, first 89 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 3: of all, this is the first time I got I've dated. 90 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 3: Think about it. I left when I was forty two. 91 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 3: The first I would say, nine months was just sex 92 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 3: because I hadn't had real sex. So I just wanted 93 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 3: to experience that I'm not going to call that dating, right, 94 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 3: The first guy slept was a twenty one year old 95 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 3: SIRC to sole acrobat, so you get the general idea. 96 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: Wow. 97 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 3: And then I met a guy that became my boyfriend, 98 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 3: and after I broke up with him, I met my husband. 99 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,480 Speaker 3: So I never actually got to date so the first 100 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 3: time in my life, because you know, I didn't go 101 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 3: to high school with boys. I didn't go to the prom, 102 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 3: I didn't have my first kiss, I didn't have a 103 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 3: first boyfriend. I married a guy I met for a 104 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 3: bunch of hours and that was it, you know, and 105 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 3: I'd never touched him before we married. So I just 106 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 3: started dating at fifty three. So, you know, for me, 107 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 3: it's so fun. You know, I'm having a last First 108 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 3: of all, I tend to date very young. I date 109 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 3: guys like late twenties, early Thirties's amazing, and we're kind 110 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 3: of at the same place in our life, right, I've 111 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 3: been working for twelve years. Guys in their thirties have 112 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 3: left college, they've been working for twelve years, so we're 113 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 3: in the same spot. 114 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: You know. 115 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 3: I've found that most guys my age, they want to 116 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 3: play golf, they want to play tennis. They want to vacation. 117 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 3: I'm just getting started. I love business, I love creating things. 118 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 3: I have so many different companies that are actually going 119 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 3: to be coming up in the next few years of 120 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 3: things that I've invented. So my energy is not necessarily 121 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 3: got for guys my age, you know. And so I've 122 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 3: been having just an amazing time now. Of course, have 123 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,359 Speaker 3: I met anyone who I would consider a boyfriend? 124 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:39,839 Speaker 1: No? 125 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 3: Have I been having a lot of fun in the process, yes, yes, 126 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's been great. 127 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 2: Well, I was just wondering too, because, like we were 128 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 2: saying that, you know, and I were in a very 129 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 2: similar boat. Like, you know, when I was on Housewives 130 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 2: and I got divorced, people were like, oh my god, 131 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 2: you're single, Like what's wrong with you? Being single and 132 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 2: having two children was like kind of like you had 133 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 2: like some awful sease, infectious disease. I'm like, I'm just 134 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 2: you know, a mindful human that wants to make sure 135 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 2: that my girls have everything and just making sure. 136 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 3: So you're stunning, like any guy on earth would be 137 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 3: like literally on the floor your toes, begging to date you. 138 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 2: I'm taking you with me, I'm gonna ping you in 139 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 2: my pocket. I'm going to take you with you, at me, 140 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 2: with me everywhere. 141 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: I can't get over. Thank you, thank you. 142 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 2: But you know it's interesting that you know, and a 143 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 2: lot of people were like, well, you know, because of 144 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 2: what you've done in your past with your work and 145 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 2: you know what you look like. You know, people are 146 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 2: intimidated by you. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what so 147 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 2: that so now? And now I'm supposed toill, like be 148 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 2: on my back foot feeling like I shouldn't be, you know, 149 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 2: showing off my superpower whatever that is I should be. 150 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: It was very strange and it wasn't by men. 151 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 3: It was by women. 152 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: It was by women. 153 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 3: But you know, what do you think of that? You 154 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 3: know what's so interesting? When I was shituch dating, which 155 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 3: is very different like when I was nineteen, I was 156 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 3: going to the process of getting married and you know, 157 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 3: there's a matchmaker and you meet the guy and it's 158 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 3: only allowed to be in public, and it's only supposed 159 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 3: to be the whole date cannot last for more than 160 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 3: three hours, including driving, so you basically get like an 161 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 3: hour and a half to two hours and you get 162 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 3: you know, three to five dates. So somewhere between fifteen hours. 163 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 3: You have to decide if this person is the person 164 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 3: who needs spend the rest of your life with. And 165 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 3: every time before I would go out, they would say 166 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 3: to me, Julia, just don't talk. Don't let him know 167 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 3: that you're smart. It's very men don't like that if 168 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 3: you want to get married. Zip it. And I remember 169 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,959 Speaker 3: when I left my community I came to this world. 170 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 3: I thought, no one is ever going to tell that 171 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 3: to me again. And lo and behold, women get told 172 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 3: that all the time, all the time, not back there 173 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 3: here here, in this, in this world where there isn't 174 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 3: supposed to be religious fundamentalism. And yes, it's so ingrained 175 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 3: in our society that women are supposed to be quiet, demure. 176 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 3: You know, someone asked me the other day, how do 177 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: you know that it's inherent and intrinsic in our society, 178 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 3: this inequity. And I always tell people, look at the words. 179 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,719 Speaker 3: You learn so much about a culture of society by 180 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 3: the language. Right in Alaska there are more words for 181 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 3: ice than in any other language in the world, which 182 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 3: makes sense. They're surrounded by ice. Let's look at the 183 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 3: words people use when they describe successful women bad ass, bitch. 184 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 3: Why is it that men are not called bad asshole 185 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 3: bastards when they're successful. They're captains of industry, right, think 186 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 3: about it, right, they're captains of industry, they're leaders, they're titans. 187 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 3: Women are bad ass bitches. 188 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 2: Right or like boss, bitch and witch? 189 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 3: Why think about the demure? Does that word ever apply 190 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 3: to a man? Never? How about well behaved? Have you 191 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 3: ever heard anyone ever say he's a well behaved man? 192 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: Of course not. 193 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 3: Women are supposed to be demure and well behaved and 194 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 3: wait our turn and be polite because guess what, if 195 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 3: you're not, they're not gonna call you a leader or charismatic. 196 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,719 Speaker 3: They're gonna say you're a seductress, which, by the way, 197 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 3: I've gotten accused of. So I'm not charismatic. I'm no. 198 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: Excuse my language, that's hell. 199 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Why is it that men are charismatic but 200 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 3: women are seductive? And the difference is that has a 201 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 3: negative connotation and the other one is a compliment. So 202 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 3: everything about you, you know, as I was driving over here, 203 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:53,839 Speaker 3: I was thinking about, you know, uh, lasers and injections 204 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 3: and things because I was listening to somebody wait. 205 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 1: To talk about and your relationships. You're thinking about lasers. 206 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,199 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, seriously, I was. I was listening to somebody 207 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 3: on the I mean, and the guy was like, you know, 208 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 3: women spend so much money lasering themselves, injecting themselves. I 209 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 3: don't do any of that stuff. And I think to myself, 210 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 3: how incredibly hypocritical. The entire world forces us to look 211 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 3: beautiful until the day we die, yells at us if 212 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 3: we're not perfect, and then then complains that we have 213 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 3: to do things to follow their version of what we 214 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 3: should look like. I mean, it's a lose lose all around. 215 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 3: No matter what you do, they're gonna yell at you. 216 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 3: So my personal advice is just fall of it and 217 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 3: do what makes it feel good. 218 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 2: So let's talk about some mistakes, because you know, there's 219 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 2: do you have any mistakes that you've made that you 220 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 2: would tell your daughter to make the same ones. 221 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 3: To make the same mistake as in meaning that it's 222 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 3: not a mistake, right right. 223 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean. 224 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 3: A mistake, you know, I don't even know or care. 225 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 3: I don't know. Like the mistakes that I've made are 226 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,319 Speaker 3: things that I think are mistakes, like getting married again, 227 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 3: not listening to the voice inside my head. That's a 228 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 3: danger danger being too trusting. You know, those the things 229 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 3: that I think of a mistakes are real mistakes. What 230 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 3: other people think of a mistakes. I stopped listening to 231 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 3: that long ago. I don't even know. You'd have to 232 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 3: ask other people. Yeah, I don't actually have an idea. 233 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 2: There's one scene where you're sitting in your bedroom with 234 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 2: your youngest daughter that really really struck a chord with me, 235 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 2: and where you guys are talking about how you're in 236 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 2: your room crying and she comes in, and you know, 237 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 2: I had a similar situation like that where I was 238 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,439 Speaker 2: like literally cry in my closet, like I'm like, this 239 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 2: is not my world, this is not my life, this 240 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 2: is not my life. And I mean, you know, my 241 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,439 Speaker 2: ex husband's French. So as soon as we got married, 242 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 2: he cut a fall in the tower. I had blonde, 243 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 2: short hair, I had were turtlenecks and pants, and I 244 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 2: was supposed to be like the perfect wife for him 245 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 2: for you know, whatever he was doing while he was 246 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 2: feeling gorgeous. And I'll never forget the day that I 247 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 2: was like, this is over. I went to I was 248 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 2: in Easthampton and I went to town and I bought this 249 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 2: This aveda shampoo and I put the shampoo on my 250 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,319 Speaker 2: hair and it was, all of a sudden, my entire 251 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 2: head went, you know, dark, because it's that that's that chestnut. 252 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously it looked like squirrel hair, but the point, yes, 253 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I was like, there I am, 254 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 2: and like it was like a game changer. And you know, 255 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,680 Speaker 2: it's not my job to you know, I can say 256 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 2: whatever I want about my ex because he's my ex. 257 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 2: I don't like him when other people say anything about him, 258 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 2: but you know, I'm so grateful for that moment. And 259 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 2: when I saw you with your daughter, I was just like, 260 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,680 Speaker 2: oh my god, you guys are so I love that 261 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 2: you chose your children because I always choose my children. 262 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: Oh it is. 263 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 3: And you know what really hurt is that that scene 264 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 3: that we were filming was at the end of January, 265 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 3: and it wasn't me in my room or in my closet. 266 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 3: It was me naked on the bathroom floor. Because what 267 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 3: he used to do was scream at me when I 268 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 3: was in the shower, when I was in the bath, 269 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 3: when I was on the toilet, when I was at 270 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 3: my most vulnerable. He would come and scream and yell 271 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 3: at me, and that one time, it was so loud 272 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 3: that my daughter heard it from upstairs and that's why 273 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 3: she came downstairs to the bathroom to see what was 274 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 3: going on. And then she called Badheva to say should 275 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 3: I call the police? Like what do I do? Because 276 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 3: she didn't come in to see me crying. She was 277 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 3: standing by the door watching him scream and yell and 278 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 3: brate me while I was naked on the floor crying. 279 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 2: I am so sorry, and that did not come across 280 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: and I am so sorry. 281 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 3: And when we told that story to the judge because 282 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 3: the I filed two complaints against him, and because I 283 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 3: didn't mention it in the first complaint, and the reason 284 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 3: I didn't is because I had thirty to write it 285 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 3: and I was so distraught and I hadn't slept that 286 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 3: I just didn't think of it. And then when I 287 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 3: mentioned it in the second complaint, the judge didn't believe me, said, 288 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 3: if it was true, it would have been mentioned in 289 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 3: the first complaint. And I'll tell you something that really hurts, 290 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 3: and that is that my telling my daughter that story 291 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 3: was almost a week and a half before my first complaint, 292 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 3: So if I had made it up to hurt him. 293 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 3: I would have woul in the first thing I put 294 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 3: in if I'd made it up, I would have made 295 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 3: it up after before. But the reality is that's what happened, 296 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 3: and the fact that women are just they're not believed. 297 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 3: I had so much evidence and so much proof, and 298 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 3: it took years, and it took two whistleblowers coming forward 299 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 3: before I started being believed. And now, of course there's 300 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 3: warrants out for his arrest. He's fled the country, his 301 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 3: passport has been revoked, his license has been revoked. He 302 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 3: tries to come in, he'll be arrested at customs. But 303 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 3: it took three and a half years fighting before someone 304 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 3: believed me. 305 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: That is awful. 306 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting too because at the beginning, when 307 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 2: you're talking about your like you're Gwyneth Paltrow uncoupling, if 308 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 2: you will, Like you just seemed very calm and relaxed, 309 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 2: and you're like basically like, you know, things don't necessarily 310 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 2: things aren't what they seem and things aren't working out, 311 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 2: and then later on we see just like how painful 312 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 2: everything is for you, and you know, you know you 313 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 2: can't just because you fall in love with someone doesn't 314 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 2: mean that you understand how you're going to fall out 315 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 2: of love with them. 316 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 3: Or how they're going to treat you right, you know. 317 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 3: To me in the beginning, it was a I just 318 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 3: want to be left alone. I want to go my 319 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 3: own way. I built a billion dollar business. You take half, 320 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 3: I take half, and we walk away into the sunset. 321 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 3: I had no desire to tell anyone what was going 322 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 3: on in my marriage. It was extremely embarrassed at how 323 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 3: I let him, you know, take advantage of me and 324 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 3: the way that he treated me, and I just wanted 325 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 3: it to be over. But then you know that song, 326 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 3: don't lie about me, and I won't tell the truth 327 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 3: about you. That's what happened. He lied, I had to 328 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 3: tell the truth. 329 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you were dropping some major stuff here. Okay, 330 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: so that is unbelievable. 331 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 2: So religion and relationships, because I have dated men that 332 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 2: are Jewish, I am Catholic, my children are half Jewish. 333 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on religion and dating and. 334 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 3: Relationship shouldn't matter. I think if a belief system supersedes love, 335 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 3: then you're an extremist. 336 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:41,840 Speaker 1: Right. 337 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 3: Love is greater than what you call God or what 338 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 3: food you eat or what place you worship. If you 339 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 3: have love, does the rest really really matter? I don't 340 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,119 Speaker 3: think so. I don't believe it. 341 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting sitting here talking to you because 342 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 2: you are so well put together. I mean you're physically 343 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 2: so well put together, and you're mentally so well put together, 344 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,919 Speaker 2: and you're wildly articulate. 345 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 1: Like what like there's I mean, there's obviously. 346 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 2: So many things that have happened to you outside of 347 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,360 Speaker 2: just the religious factor and these and these two divorces, 348 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 2: but like, what is it that was like your moment 349 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 2: where you're just like, I just can't do this anymore. 350 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 3: With with my marriage, I mean, in life, your marriage, 351 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 3: it was so many There were so many moments where, 352 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 3: you know, I think change is sometimes forced upon us 353 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 3: because we get to a level of such extreme misery 354 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,920 Speaker 3: that we don't have a choice that it really comes 355 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 3: down to I'm either going to end up killing myself 356 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 3: or I got to get out of here. And and 357 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 3: that's happened to me now twice in my life. First 358 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,400 Speaker 3: to get out of my community and then to get 359 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 3: out of my marriage where it was really I watched 360 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 3: myself being shrunk, I watched myself being pressed down into 361 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 3: this invisible being, and I knew that I couldn't survive. 362 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 3: So it was either fight for my freedom or just 363 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 3: give up. And I don't have give up in my psyche. 364 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 2: I also like the fact that you're like the like 365 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 2: the ultimate matriarch where you organize this dinner for your 366 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 2: ex husband and is not I mean, that was iconic 367 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 2: and you're like, Okay, it's fine, Like everyone's just going 368 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 2: to come to dinner or it's gonna hang out. If 369 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,360 Speaker 2: I tell the girls beforehand, they're not going to show 370 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 2: up and everyone's like, what is going on here, You're like, it's. 371 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 3: Fine, It's all about the children. In the end, Is 372 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 3: it better for my children for the ex husband that 373 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,360 Speaker 3: I had kids with, Not Sylvia, but my first ex 374 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 3: US friend. Is it better for my children for us 375 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 3: to be friends or not? That was a question will 376 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 3: it harm them or hurt or or you know, in 377 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,880 Speaker 3: other words, if he was a bad father, that would 378 00:19:58,920 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 3: have been one thing. 379 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,880 Speaker 1: But he's not. He's a great dad. 380 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,159 Speaker 3: And because he's a great dad, that meant to me 381 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 3: that no matter what the relationship between the two of 382 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 3: us was, that should impact my kids. And I really 383 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 3: wanted to make sure that even after he got married, 384 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 3: which she has every right to do. Why not should 385 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 3: live alone for the rest of his life. No, And 386 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 3: I think his wife is a lovely, lovely person. 387 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:21,720 Speaker 1: She is, She's a. 388 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 3: Wonderful human being. She treats my youngest so beautifully. I'm 389 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,399 Speaker 3: so grateful for that. And so I don't mess with 390 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 3: people unless they torture me first. That's basically the rule. 391 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,120 Speaker 3: But then if you come for me, I will fight 392 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 3: for truth on justice. 393 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: I love that. 394 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 2: I wish that you had been with me on Housewives. 395 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 2: I would have brought you to Scary Island. I'd be like, 396 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,120 Speaker 2: here's my secret power name. 397 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:44,920 Speaker 1: It's Julia Hart. 398 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 2: You and I would have a lot away from me. 399 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 2: I've got Julie here. Everyone would be. 400 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 3: Like, ah. 401 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 2: So there's this whole new movement called, you know, the 402 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 2: traditional wives. And I was watching on TikTok last night 403 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 2: and I'm thinking to myself, like, I'm on the fence 404 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 2: about how I. 405 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: Feel about this. First of all, I want to hear 406 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:08,880 Speaker 1: your thoughts. 407 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 3: And then I'll tell me I don't know that. 408 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 2: So traditional wives is basically this kind of new mindset 409 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 2: where women are, you know, at home, and that they're 410 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 2: like the best wife like you were talking about before 411 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,679 Speaker 2: the quintessential wife where they're cooking and they're baking, and 412 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 2: they're you know, serving their husbands and they're making sure 413 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 2: that their children are you know, educated, and their home 414 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 2: is night you know, is well kept. Like what do 415 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 2: you think about this new movement? I mean the girls 416 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 2: on the show on the on TikTok, like, listen, I 417 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 2: support anyone who's making money, however they're making money. I 418 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 2: am a like an avid supporter of women making money, 419 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 2: hands down, but I'd just like think this is a 420 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:46,160 Speaker 2: very funny trend. 421 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, what is going on? Do you have to 422 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: wear ruffles to be a traditional? Like? What is you 423 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 1: know what? 424 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 3: I would say that it's not new. I would say 425 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,879 Speaker 3: it's someone going backwards in time, right. And you know, 426 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,439 Speaker 3: human nature is such that we crave the opposite of 427 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 3: what we have, right. So, you know, kids who grew 428 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 3: up in the sixties where it was wild, free love, 429 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 3: they created a lot more structure. Women who grew up 430 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 3: in a very structured society become more free. It's human 431 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 3: nature to think that what your parents did was idiotic 432 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,440 Speaker 3: and to try something new. So because I think there's 433 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 3: you know, there was the me too movement. There's this 434 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,439 Speaker 3: whole push for women to become financially independent. If I 435 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 3: tell you how many times when I was creative director 436 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,560 Speaker 3: of La Perla, and I spent a lot of times 437 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,400 Speaker 3: in my store because to me, fashion when I came 438 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 3: into fashion was for women, but it wasn't for women. 439 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 3: Nobody cared how they felt. No one cared if they 440 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,239 Speaker 3: were comfortable. I got yelled at by magazine editors and 441 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 3: told Julia comfort is a dirty word. Women are supposed 442 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 3: to suffer for fashion. And I'm looking at them saying, 443 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 3: what why? 444 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 1: Who said? 445 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 3: I mean, this is ridiculous. But that was the kind 446 00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:00,360 Speaker 3: of concept right until literally twenty sixteen. They were stilling 447 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 3: for a beauty. So I think it's just human nature. 448 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 3: Is whatever your family or you know, the generation before 449 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 3: you did, you're going to try the opposite way. So 450 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 3: this is just a flashback. I would love to see 451 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 3: these young ladies ten years into this, you know, being 452 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 3: a perfect housewife where they don't have autonomy and they 453 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 3: have to ask permission before they purchase something. And that's 454 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 3: what I was saying about La Pearl. I would spend 455 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 3: a lot of times in the store, and if I 456 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 3: to you how many times a woman would come in 457 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 3: and want to buy something and she'd say, I have 458 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 3: to call my husband and see if I can buy it. 459 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 3: I remember thinking to myself, my goal in this world 460 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,880 Speaker 3: is to make an army of financially independent women who 461 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 3: never have to ask permission. And let's give them ten 462 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 3: years in their perfect life where they don't make their 463 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 3: own money and they have to ask their husband for everything. 464 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 3: Let's get them on the show after that, because I 465 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,879 Speaker 3: promise you they'll be just as miserable as I was. 466 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 2: Well, what's interesting because like the reason that the sixties, 467 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 2: like you were talking about this free love, the reason 468 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 2: that the sixties was this movement is. 469 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: Because of the advent of the pill. 470 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 2: So before that it was like you comunicated to pro create, 471 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 2: like you're only having sex to have kids. Then all 472 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 2: of a sudden, the advent of the pill, and people 473 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 2: are like feeling gorgeous, which is great, but you know, 474 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 2: I think that I mean, there's there's there's there is 475 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 2: five medium, right, there's not in middle society, and we're 476 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 2: always going to have these different levels and layers and 477 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 2: I and I, you know, whoever wants to live the 478 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:29,960 Speaker 2: life that they want to live. 479 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 1: That's great. I mean, listen, would I like to, like. 480 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 2: You know, be at home and taking care of my 481 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 2: kids as opposed to like working like a workhorse. 482 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have loved that. I would have loved 483 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 1: to have been like be gorgeous thoroughbred and not be 484 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,479 Speaker 1: the draft horse. Like. I would have loved that. 485 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 3: I think there's a difference here between wanting to be 486 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 3: a traditional life and wanting to be a stay at 487 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 3: home mom because to me, being a stay at home mom. 488 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 3: If you want to be a stay at home mom, 489 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 3: I think it's one of the most beautiful jobs on us. 490 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: But you're also a CEO of the house. It's very stressful. 491 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,159 Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think of a 492 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 3: stay at home mom as someone who is going back 493 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 3: to me when you say, I don't know the movement, 494 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 3: so I'm just to me. When I hear traditional wife, 495 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,359 Speaker 3: I hear someone who's not working, who's not making her 496 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 3: own money, who's asking her husband for permission, who has 497 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 3: an inferior role in the marriage. That's exactly what that is, 498 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 3: as opposed to a stay at home mom, which I 499 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 3: think is an extraordinarily beautiful thing to do. I was 500 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 3: a stay at home mom and I loved every second 501 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 3: of it. I worked as well. But if someone wants 502 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 3: to not work and raise her children, I don't think 503 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:42,159 Speaker 3: that makes her traditional as long as you know, either 504 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 3: she has a profession to fall back on if this 505 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 3: hits the fan, or there's a way for her to 506 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 3: take care of herself and her children. I just think 507 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 3: every woman should be financially independent. I was with a 508 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,359 Speaker 3: friend of mine and she told me this story, and 509 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 3: I think it's really applies to this. She's a Someone 510 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 3: asked her she was speaking, and someone asked her what 511 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 3: she does for a living, and she says, I run 512 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 3: a home for unwanted children. And the whole audience was like, WHOA, 513 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,879 Speaker 3: that's amazing. Where do you find them? How does that work? 514 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,120 Speaker 3: And she's like, no, no, they're mine, but no one 515 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:24,479 Speaker 3: else wants them. And that's the truth. 516 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: That is the truth. 517 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,680 Speaker 3: When you're a stay at home mom, A, you are 518 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 3: raising human beings. I respect that, I admire that, and 519 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 3: I think every woman should have the choice whether she 520 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 3: just wants to do that, or wants to do that 521 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 3: and work, or wants to just work. We shouldn't be 522 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 3: punished for what we feel inside of our hearts. But 523 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 3: that to me is not a traditional housewife. A traditional 524 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 3: housewife is a mindset of the man is the boss 525 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 3: that I'm not okay with. 526 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 2: You know, It's interesting because I I am from Rockford, Illinois, 527 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:58,400 Speaker 2: so I was raised in this very traditional environment, suburban environment. 528 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 2: My dad's lawyer. My mother was a stay at home mom. 529 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 2: She was philanthropists. She you know, raised us, and you. 530 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: Know, that's beautiful, that's how we were raised. And then my. 531 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 2: Mother felt she was I've had really really severe migraines 532 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 2: growing up, like very very severe from like my early childhood, 533 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,119 Speaker 2: and so she was very, very sick all the time, 534 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 2: and being raised in an environment where she was so 535 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:27,640 Speaker 2: out of commission, out of commission and debilitated like irregularly. 536 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 2: So it was a very difficult way to be raised 537 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 2: because she was when she was on, she was on, 538 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 2: and when she was off, she was off. 539 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 1: And there was no kind of like she's going to 540 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 1: be here, she's at work. She wasn't at work. She 541 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:43,159 Speaker 1: was just she couldn't, you know. So it was very 542 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 1: difficult being raised in that environment. 543 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 2: But what I think is fascinating is that later on 544 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,360 Speaker 2: she became she started working, so she was in this 545 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 2: very traditional environment and then she had these you know this, 546 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,639 Speaker 2: these medical issues, and then she got you know, she 547 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 2: she started to work. And you know, she always used 548 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 2: to push us, be very very very aggressive about us 549 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 2: working and providing. And my older sister and I always 550 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 2: and I have a twin brother, but like always with us, 551 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 2: like you have to. 552 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: Make your own money. You have to have your that's 553 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: my only rule. And it was just a strange. 554 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 2: It was also like this odd messaging because on the 555 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 2: one hand, it's like. 556 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 3: That's not what she was right. She was trying to 557 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,119 Speaker 3: tell you that the way that she lived was not 558 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 3: the way that she wanted you to live. And I 559 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 3: think that's what I'm saying, Like I think, if you 560 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 3: want to be a stay at home mom, it's beautiful. 561 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 3: Just make sure you can support yourself, right. You always 562 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,120 Speaker 3: have to have that in your back pocket, whether it's 563 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 3: a degree or a side job or something that you do. 564 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: It may not take a lot of hours of your time, 565 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 3: but you have to always know that if life takes 566 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 3: a turn that you are not prepared for, you have 567 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 3: a way to support yourself and your children. 568 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 2: And that's what's interesting too, is that when I was 569 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 2: on Housewives and I was obviously divorced, and people they 570 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 2: would say like, well, you're like, you're fine because because 571 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 2: you have so much money from your ex husban And 572 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, first of all, don't don't number one rule, 573 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,280 Speaker 2: do not count other people's money. You do not know 574 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 2: how much they have. You don't know where that money 575 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 2: comes from. You don't know how they make that money. 576 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 2: You don't know, so what you don't know is none 577 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 2: of your business. First of all, that is like number 578 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 2: one rule. But what's interesting is that a lot of 579 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 2: a lot of the housewives would say to me, well, 580 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 2: I don't have money to leave. So then I'm like, 581 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 2: oh my god, Like wait a minute, what like these 582 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,800 Speaker 2: women is outpoor of women that are saying like I 583 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 2: don't have the money to leave. I don't want to 584 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 2: be in this situation. And if I did leave, what 585 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 2: does my eventuality look like? So I'm just I'm like, 586 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 2: I'm not your you know this mentor of this. I 587 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: don't know how I became this person and this voice, 588 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 2: but it was it was really, you know, unsettling, and 589 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 2: I felt and it made me feel very uncomfortable, Like 590 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 2: I'm like, how do I give these women tools and 591 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,480 Speaker 2: their tool belt to like understand. I mean, you have 592 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 2: you have a lot of confidence. You know you you 593 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 2: have gotten divorced, and you've been in these very very 594 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 2: very difficult situations. 595 00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,920 Speaker 3: But I'm not divorced yet. I'm still divorced. I literally 596 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 3: asked them for divorce nine months after my marriage and 597 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,120 Speaker 3: it's three and a half career. 598 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 2: I mean, my point is, you're a unicorn in terms 599 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 2: of how you're navigating all these different worlds. Whether it's 600 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,800 Speaker 2: you know you're divorced, whether the religion, the relationships, all 601 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 2: of these things. You are a complete unicorn and it's 602 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 2: really really difficult for. 603 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: A lot of women. 604 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 2: And so I mean that's been great for me too 605 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 2: to be on this podcast. I'm like, listen, you know, 606 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,960 Speaker 2: life sucks, and some people really suck, but some people 607 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 2: don't like And I'm here too, like I'm learning from 608 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,560 Speaker 2: all of you guys about like how to be better 609 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 2: and how to do navigate things differently. One thing I 610 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 2: wanted to ask you is your daughter, So she also 611 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 2: is she's divorced. 612 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 3: Yes, the oldest. By the way, she's gorgeous. Sometimes I 613 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 3: look at my kids and I'm like these human beings 614 00:30:55,520 --> 00:31:01,120 Speaker 3: came out of my body. They're like insanely extraordinary. 615 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 2: Really savvy and incredible style, and they're like, hey, I'm like, 616 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 2: what is going on here? 617 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: Like I really like her dress? Is that weird? Yeah? 618 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 2: Oh, like I supposed to be watching the show. Okay, 619 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 2: I digress. But so what were your thoughts when she 620 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 2: was getting divorced? 621 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 3: You know, I was just so happy for her. I 622 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 3: was so proud of her. Of course, I would never 623 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 3: ever say anything, you know. 624 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:25,280 Speaker 1: To me. 625 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 3: Your job as a parent is to give your children 626 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 3: the tools to live the life they want, right, That's 627 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 3: my only job was to provide all the tools and 628 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,640 Speaker 3: then let them do whatever they wanted with them. And 629 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 3: the fact that she stood up for herself and said 630 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 3: this is not what I want, and that she did 631 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 3: it with such gentleness and such grace and such maturity, 632 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 3: and you know, look at her life now. She's living 633 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,320 Speaker 3: her best life. And I'm just so proud of her, 634 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 3: so incredibly proud of her. 635 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 1: I mean that shows and she is so well adjusted. 636 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: It's unbelievable, unbelievable. I was like, wait a minute, I 637 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,880 Speaker 1: was a train wreck, and she's like amazing. 638 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 3: So calm, she meditated, She centered herself, she found a 639 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 3: way forward, she worked through it. She never like tried 640 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 3: to push all the problems behind. She really really put 641 00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,479 Speaker 3: in the work. And now she's she's glowing. Like you 642 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 3: see her. You can't miss the radiance. You know, it's amazing, amazing. 643 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: I mean it's like mother like daughter. 644 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 2: You guys are like you are, You're just I mean, 645 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 2: you definitely raise your girls. Well, thank you all your children. 646 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 2: So eat, pray love. Oh do you have any prey 647 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 2: love moment? 648 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 3: So you know, I have become a massive meditator, Like 649 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 3: this morning, I meditated for two hours and forty minutes. 650 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,920 Speaker 3: I know, but I get up at five, so so 651 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 3: it's yeah, it's seven forty. You know, I'm already done. 652 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,520 Speaker 1: But meditate. Like, let's go walk back, walk through that. 653 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: Do you what do you do? I do? 654 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 3: Doctor Joe despends some meditations because it's very scientific. I'm 655 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 3: a math girl, right, I like numbers. I like data. Right, Like, 656 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 3: if you tell me, just believe you've lost me. Right, 657 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 3: I already was in a religion where I was, oh, 658 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 3: just believe this, and if that doesn't make sense, just 659 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 3: believe that. 660 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 1: Right. 661 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 3: I don't want to hear that this is science, right, 662 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 3: It's about your penial gland and your cerebrospinal fluid and secreting, 663 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:37,640 Speaker 3: you know, different things between serotonin and melatonin, derivatives of that, 664 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 3: all the things that it's basically what I would I 665 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 3: call it quantum living in the sense that it's teaching 666 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 3: you self mastery. Wait, that's very good, my quantum living. 667 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 3: That's literally what it is. It's existing in a space 668 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 3: in your mind that kind of supersedes what you're living 669 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 3: through in the moment. Because if I would have a 670 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 3: let everything that was going on outside to impact me completely, 671 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,360 Speaker 3: I wouldn't have survived. I wouldn't have survived. Three and 672 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:09,960 Speaker 3: a half years ago, I would walk out my door 673 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,960 Speaker 3: and people would look at me and say thief. Right, 674 00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,399 Speaker 3: because you may not remember this. It's a long time 675 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 3: ago now for everyone but me, because of course it 676 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 3: happened to me. When I first filed for divorce, Sylvia 677 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 3: accused me of theft, met mismanaging company money. I think 678 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,440 Speaker 3: pretty much con artists a doctriss. I think I got 679 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 3: accused of everything women have ever been accused of, other 680 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 3: than witchcraft. I think that is literally the only accusation 681 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,439 Speaker 3: he did not throw on my head. And it wasn't 682 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,200 Speaker 3: until like nine months later when the first whistleblower came 683 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,919 Speaker 3: forward and said, here's thirty thousand documents. She didn't take 684 00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 3: a penny. He's the one that's been stealing from the company. 685 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden everything changed, and then 686 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 3: we got bank statements, and then all the proof came out, 687 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 3: and then discovery, and then all of a sudden, he's 688 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 3: on the run from the law. But I had to 689 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 3: live through the those first months, there was over two 690 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,680 Speaker 3: hundred articles calling me a thief and a liar. I 691 00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,000 Speaker 3: would walk into a room where people literally thought I 692 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 3: stole from my own company, which was insane. Insane Why 693 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,879 Speaker 3: because four guys said so without any proof. It made 694 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 3: no difference everything I had built and everything I'd worked for. 695 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 3: All it took was a couple of guys line for 696 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 3: it all to be taken away from me. 697 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,680 Speaker 2: It's so fascinating because, like you know, people think that 698 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 2: because it's someone says. 699 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 1: It must, but it's fact. 700 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,319 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, just because I mean on housewhid people 701 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 2: are like, you're crazy. I'm like, okay, if I'm so crazy, 702 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,799 Speaker 2: then I wouldn't be able to raise two children on 703 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,360 Speaker 2: my own. I have my MBA, I licensed in four states. 704 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 2: I've done x amount of X, Like, you can't be 705 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 2: crazy and do the things the volume of work that 706 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 2: I've done. But just because one person says that, everyone's like, oh, 707 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 2: must be true, I'm like, no, no, no, you don't have 708 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 2: to be You don't have to like follow everyone. You 709 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,120 Speaker 2: can like beat your own drummer and do your own 710 00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 2: things and your own way. 711 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 3: But the lesson to me was awful. The lesson to 712 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,720 Speaker 3: me was one woman with thousands of documents of proof 713 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 3: against three men with no proof, and I didn't stand 714 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,360 Speaker 3: a chance. Literally, that's what happened. And if I hadn't 715 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:16,440 Speaker 3: kept fighting until it came time to discovery, until it 716 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,399 Speaker 3: came time for the documents, they probably would have gotten 717 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,279 Speaker 3: away with it. And the only way to survive that 718 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 3: was to find a way to be whole on my 719 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,720 Speaker 3: inside while while the world around me was going crazy. 720 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 3: And that's what quantum living to me is, It's that 721 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 3: you're the external. What's going on in the external can't 722 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,360 Speaker 3: mess with your insides because your insides are so strong, 723 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,840 Speaker 3: your heart is so strong, your faith is so strong 724 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 3: that nothing can mess with you, and that's how I 725 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:49,960 Speaker 3: survived it. And that's doctor Joe Despenza. I mean, I 726 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,440 Speaker 3: actually learned about it when I was in the front 727 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,760 Speaker 3: in January twenty twenty three. I'm in the front lines 728 00:36:55,800 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 3: of Bachhmut in Ukraine, sleeping in an officer's bays because 729 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,720 Speaker 3: I had brought I'd driven an ambulance through Ukraine during 730 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,280 Speaker 3: the war and Bachmut was where like all the fighting 731 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 3: was in January twenty twenty three, and I'm literally there 732 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 3: getting missiles blown at my head and like hiding under 733 00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 3: mud when there's literally guns like bullets flying. And one 734 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 3: of the people I was with was so calm, and 735 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 3: I was like, dude, what the f how are you 736 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,560 Speaker 3: so calm? And he told me Doctor Joe despends it 737 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,560 Speaker 3: and tells me about this book. So I start reading 738 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 3: and I start meditating there in Ukraine in the front lines, 739 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 3: January twenty twenty three. And here it is two and 740 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,960 Speaker 3: a half later, two and a half years later, and 741 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,040 Speaker 3: I've already won my fifty percent of the company, plus 742 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:46,359 Speaker 3: control over his fifty percent of the company, plus you know, 743 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 3: a decent sum. And now we're getting close to the 744 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,640 Speaker 3: end of the divorce where hopefully a lot more will 745 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 3: be coming. 746 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,680 Speaker 2: So now you can like be more mindful and more 747 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 2: strategic and be more data driven as opposed to like 748 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,839 Speaker 2: as a so emotional. 749 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,239 Speaker 3: Well, it's more that my emotions aren't impacted by what 750 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 3: happens on the outside. You know, when terrible things happen, 751 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,400 Speaker 3: it doesn't mean I have to feel terrible, right. The 752 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:12,240 Speaker 3: one thing we can. 753 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,800 Speaker 1: Control is truly, yeah, I feel you do not. 754 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,160 Speaker 3: That's quantum living. I agree that to me is what 755 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 3: has not me a lot. Just because the world tells 756 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:27,120 Speaker 3: you and difficult things are happening in your life, inside 757 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,759 Speaker 3: here you can still feel joy. And then I learned 758 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 3: something really silly, which is going to sound silly, but 759 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,279 Speaker 3: it's I promise you that if you actually incorporate this 760 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,400 Speaker 3: into your life, like everything changes. It feels good to 761 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:41,360 Speaker 3: feel good. 762 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,000 Speaker 1: I say that, It just feels good to feel good. 763 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,120 Speaker 1: That's what I say, even. 764 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,120 Speaker 3: If you have no reason to feel good, even if 765 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,280 Speaker 3: you have all the reasons to feel terrible. 766 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 2: It just feels good to feel That's what I say. 767 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,560 Speaker 2: I talk about that, and I also talk about, you know, 768 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:57,200 Speaker 2: kinetic energy. I was like, you can have frenetic which 769 00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:58,840 Speaker 2: is up and down, you can be you can be 770 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,480 Speaker 2: like having these like pigs and valleys all day long 771 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,200 Speaker 2: and you can like love your life, or you could 772 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 2: just have a great, great day with like all this 773 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 2: good news happening and fielding the fire and like take 774 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 2: you like Okay, I can handle this, I can handle that. 775 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 1: Or you can be like woo woo. 776 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 3: It doesn't feel good to feel good even when there's 777 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 3: nothing outside to make you feel good, even if there's 778 00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,839 Speaker 3: so much difficulty in your life, How is it going 779 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 3: to make it better to feel miserable? It just doesn't. 780 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:25,600 Speaker 3: It doesn't. 781 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,719 Speaker 2: Okay, let's shift gears for one second. Because you spend 782 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 2: your days with the hottest woman on the planet, with 783 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 2: elite world groups, so you are around the most beautiful 784 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:40,760 Speaker 2: women in the world. Have you ever had a moment 785 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 2: where you're just where one of your girls came in 786 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,359 Speaker 2: and was like, Julia, I'm having a really difficult time. 787 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 2: I need your advice with personal issues like this as well. 788 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 2: And if that has happened, what was your advice? 789 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,239 Speaker 3: Well, I have you know. I don't deal on the 790 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 3: day to day with models, right because I have agents 791 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 3: who do so. But the times where I do speak 792 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,719 Speaker 3: to people and I do get feedback. I tell this 793 00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 3: to people all the time. It doesn't matter if you're 794 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,600 Speaker 3: beautiful or not. The world will try and push you down. 795 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 3: The world will try and make you feel insecure. And 796 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,520 Speaker 3: think about what a model has to go through every day. 797 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,759 Speaker 3: Constant rejection, constant regions. Oh my god, think about that, 798 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 3: constant rejections again. 799 00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,919 Speaker 1: You I started having I started at fifteen. 800 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 3: So I'm sure you know. Oh my god, you're too tall, 801 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 3: you're too scary, you're too fat, You're to this, You're 802 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,759 Speaker 3: aware is not your nose. I mean, think about the 803 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,919 Speaker 3: amount of rejection women have to face. So it isn't 804 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 3: about being the most beautiful woman on the planet. Unfortunately, 805 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,920 Speaker 3: life is cruel to women, whether they're beautiful or not. 806 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,840 Speaker 3: And that's why we have to have this deep inner 807 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 3: core because if we're going to look for our self 808 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,760 Speaker 3: worth outside of ourselves, we're going to spend our whole 809 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,799 Speaker 3: life looking and we're never gonna find it. We have 810 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,400 Speaker 3: to find it on the inside. I had to you know, 811 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,080 Speaker 3: how you can kill words that if someone says a word, 812 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,440 Speaker 3: it doesn't show up on your Instagram. 813 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:10,719 Speaker 1: Yeh. 814 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:15,160 Speaker 3: I had to kill the words boobs, breasts, decolte, because 815 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 3: I would get at least twenty comments a day. We 816 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:23,120 Speaker 3: find your breasts objectionable, you're so old? Why are you 817 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,320 Speaker 3: wearing low cut tops? And I was like, oh my goodness. 818 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 1: You know what, why not I would say why? You 819 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:30,319 Speaker 1: know what? 820 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 3: I just don't care. I don't care. I don't have 821 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:35,120 Speaker 3: to explain myself. 822 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,279 Speaker 1: I mean you're smoking hot though, Like this makes me. 823 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 3: Feel good and that's all that matters. 824 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,759 Speaker 1: And if that's their problem, sorry. 825 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 3: It's fine, but I just I don't need to hear it, right, 826 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,600 Speaker 3: I don't. I just don't care. 827 00:41:48,920 --> 00:42:01,359 Speaker 2: Right, It's a brave new world where like now, like 828 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,799 Speaker 2: it's not just like you're making these decisions at home 829 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,319 Speaker 2: where you're you know, in your you know, over the 830 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,160 Speaker 2: you know, over a you know, a cup of coffe 831 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,400 Speaker 2: and you're saying we're not not we're going to you know, 832 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 2: not be together. Now it's like everyone has their two 833 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,920 Speaker 2: cents and you know, you've just been through so so 834 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 2: so I don't even know, Like I literally don't even 835 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,640 Speaker 2: know like how to like deal with this conversation. I 836 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 2: just am like very in awe of how you really 837 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,560 Speaker 2: managed everything because and just like. 838 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 1: You're cool, you're just like you are. 839 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,919 Speaker 2: You're there's easy going and you're cool, and I mean 840 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 2: even the way that you're with your children, and I 841 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:41,319 Speaker 2: just I really, I mean that you got me at 842 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 2: I choose my I chose my children first. That was like, so, 843 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,680 Speaker 2: what happens if you meet this like really hot new 844 00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:52,520 Speaker 2: guy who's going to enter the villa and he's going 845 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,880 Speaker 2: to see a beautiful girl, Julia Hart. What are you 846 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 2: going to do if he's like, Okay, I love your kids, 847 00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,959 Speaker 2: but they're older, like let's just be together. 848 00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 1: I mean, how are you going to handle that? We 849 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,720 Speaker 1: now have It's gonna It's gonna happen, you know, author 850 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:05,520 Speaker 1: in my family. 851 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:11,080 Speaker 3: And that is if any of us, myself included, meet 852 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,680 Speaker 3: someone that we think is boyfriend material, not like what 853 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,520 Speaker 3: I'm doing now, which is just like funning fun, but 854 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,000 Speaker 3: like full on boyfriend material, they have to come to 855 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 3: family dinner and then the whole family votes, and if 856 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,520 Speaker 3: the family votes, know that person is out out. And 857 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,759 Speaker 3: there was only one guy in the last you know, 858 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,400 Speaker 3: since I filed for divorce the last three years that 859 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 3: I thought like maybe maybe I brought him to dinner. 860 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,880 Speaker 3: My kids were like absolutely out of the question, and 861 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:43,879 Speaker 3: I broke up with him that night. I love that 862 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 3: we are a package deal. 863 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,799 Speaker 1: Is there like a word? There is no more like 864 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,840 Speaker 1: a word that's like no, are you guys? Just like 865 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 1: saying no, just. 866 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:53,400 Speaker 3: Like ack factor if factor. If one of my kids 867 00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,480 Speaker 3: gets the ick, that person is out. We are a 868 00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,960 Speaker 3: package deal. Either you love all of us or you 869 00:43:59,000 --> 00:43:59,760 Speaker 3: don't get to love. 870 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:00,000 Speaker 1: Any of us. 871 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 3: That's the rule. And I also tell my kids if 872 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:04,560 Speaker 3: I ever think I am ever going to get married again, 873 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,840 Speaker 3: or if I even say the word I told them, 874 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,160 Speaker 3: throw me off the nearest cliff faster death. It means 875 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,200 Speaker 3: I've clearly lost my mind never getting married. 876 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,239 Speaker 1: So marriage is off the table for me. 877 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,000 Speaker 3: Yes, I understand that my kids want to get married, 878 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,319 Speaker 3: and I think marriage is beautiful. I think if you're 879 00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,000 Speaker 3: going to have children, I think it's really nice for 880 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,920 Speaker 3: kids to know that mommy and daddy, or mommy and mommy, 881 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,600 Speaker 3: or daddy and daddy, or however your family is structured 882 00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,560 Speaker 3: that they're both legally required to be there. I think 883 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,719 Speaker 3: that's beautiful. At my age, my children are grown. Why 884 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,920 Speaker 3: do I want to put a legal contract on love. 885 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,520 Speaker 3: I want someone to wake up every morning, look at 886 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 3: me and choose me have. 887 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:47,479 Speaker 2: You been to be speaking to my youngest daughter, because 888 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,160 Speaker 2: she basically said that on my last podcast. She was like, Mommy, 889 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 2: you do not have to get married again. I said, 890 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,880 Speaker 2: it's not that I have see on the opposite, I 891 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,080 Speaker 2: want to get I want to get married for the 892 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,560 Speaker 2: first time. I spoke with the therapist when I started 893 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:05,239 Speaker 2: this podcast, and she said, you're going to have your 894 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,440 Speaker 2: first wedding, and that what she meant by that is 895 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,600 Speaker 2: that you're going to have a wedding, a family, a marriage, 896 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,600 Speaker 2: You're going to go on a honeymoon, You're going to 897 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:19,040 Speaker 2: have a real love life partner. And that's what I'm 898 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:19,360 Speaker 2: looking for. 899 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,680 Speaker 3: That's great, I want to love life partner. I just 900 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,160 Speaker 3: don't want to put a contract contract. Why do you 901 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,880 Speaker 3: need That's my point, Like, why do you need a contract? 902 00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,000 Speaker 3: Because you can have a you can have a ceremony. 903 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:35,200 Speaker 3: You can have a ceremony celebrating yourselves and your love 904 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:39,000 Speaker 3: the second you put a legal contract on it. The 905 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,840 Speaker 3: second you're and think about it, it's the only contract 906 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:47,959 Speaker 3: that has no expiration date. Your license has an expiration date, 907 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,920 Speaker 3: Every business contract has an expiration date. And when you 908 00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,040 Speaker 3: add to that the fact that when this whole idea 909 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:57,399 Speaker 3: of marriage was created. People's life expectancy was into their 910 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,520 Speaker 3: mid thirties. The average person died within a thirty year pero. 911 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,799 Speaker 3: They got married at fourteen, they were dead by thirty six, 912 00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 3: so they only had to live with each other for 913 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,799 Speaker 3: twenty years. Now, you get married at I don't know, 914 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,480 Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty eight, thirty, and you're around until you're 915 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,160 Speaker 3: ninety five one hundred. That means you're living with the 916 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,320 Speaker 3: same for seventy years. 917 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 1: Okay, this DoD is making to my stomach. I'm like, 918 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:19,680 Speaker 1: I don't know if I go. 919 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,560 Speaker 3: So I'm saying do I want real love? Of course 920 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,080 Speaker 3: I do. Do I want someone to be my life partner? Yes, 921 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:27,560 Speaker 3: I'm good at loving. Okay, I'm a gardener. I have 922 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,560 Speaker 3: seven younger siblings. I've been taking care of people since 923 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:31,640 Speaker 3: I'm old enough to speak. 924 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,080 Speaker 1: Well, what about someone taking care of you? 925 00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,360 Speaker 3: And I want someone to garden me back? No question 926 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,239 Speaker 3: about it. However, what does he look like? Honestly, I 927 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,400 Speaker 3: do not have a type. I don't care tall, short, 928 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,200 Speaker 3: I don't care hair, no hair. I do care about 929 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:49,560 Speaker 3: fitness because I'm very fit and someone needs to keep up. 930 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 1: Does he have to be the acrobat or like. 931 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:56,000 Speaker 3: No, I mean, he does have to be really adept 932 00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,319 Speaker 3: in that area. Let's be honest. You know there's women 933 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,480 Speaker 3: who like it, a woman who like it more. I 934 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,720 Speaker 3: am a woman who's very I am a very physical person. 935 00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,600 Speaker 3: So I definitely need someone who, you know, knows their 936 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,200 Speaker 3: way around bed. And I don't meant how to make 937 00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:11,680 Speaker 3: it and. 938 00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:16,480 Speaker 1: I don't how to make it in the morning. 939 00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:19,440 Speaker 3: To you, this is not but you know, to me, 940 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,440 Speaker 3: the things that I'm really looking for, and they're going 941 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:27,200 Speaker 3: to sound so like goofy, but these are things that 942 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,839 Speaker 3: based on my experience, I now understand that I can't 943 00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:33,279 Speaker 3: take them for granted. They're not always there. And that 944 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,680 Speaker 3: is number one. Top top top is kindness. That's the 945 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 3: first someone who is kind I am so tired of cruelty. 946 00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:47,040 Speaker 3: I am so tired of it. I want kindness, But 947 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:47,359 Speaker 3: is it. 948 00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,799 Speaker 1: Really cruelty or do they just like think was right? 949 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:51,080 Speaker 1: He was. 950 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,600 Speaker 2: He was saying that a lot of guys they get there, 951 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:59,400 Speaker 2: they are getting like people. There's a lot of backlash 952 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,239 Speaker 2: because these eyes are like learning like how to gaslight 953 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,520 Speaker 2: and I'm like when they try to gaslight me, I'm 954 00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,840 Speaker 2: just like, I'm like you are trying to feel gorgeous. 955 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,959 Speaker 2: And by the way, like most of the time I'm 956 00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,920 Speaker 2: wearing ear pods and so I'm not really listening to. 957 00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:18,080 Speaker 3: Any that's abuse, you know. I So that is cruelty 958 00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:24,239 Speaker 3: and to me, that's number one kindness. After that comes loyalty. Loyalty, 959 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:29,399 Speaker 3: it's a big one for me. And then unfortunately, because 960 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,239 Speaker 3: it would be so much easier to find kindness and 961 00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,960 Speaker 3: lived if I didn't need the third one, which is intellect. 962 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,719 Speaker 3: I do need someone who can keep up because my 963 00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:41,200 Speaker 3: mind is its own being, and you know, I need 964 00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:42,120 Speaker 3: someone who can keep up. 965 00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:47,680 Speaker 2: So with all four, I'm going to go. I'm going 966 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,600 Speaker 2: to go with the kindness. Loyalty is hands down, because 967 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,880 Speaker 2: every single man I've every dad has been a cheater 968 00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:57,759 Speaker 2: except for one. Cheaters just like love me and I 969 00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:01,160 Speaker 2: like attract cheaters. I need bugs stray for like no cheating. 970 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,839 Speaker 2: So I like the kindness, I like the loyalty, and 971 00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:10,399 Speaker 2: I like the athleticism, and the intellect is mandatory. 972 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:11,640 Speaker 1: I cannot. 973 00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,440 Speaker 2: I mean, I want to learn from my partner. I 974 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,200 Speaker 2: want to be sitting there and be like, what are 975 00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:19,200 Speaker 2: your thoughts? I mean, I work with the most amazing 976 00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,480 Speaker 2: women all day long, who are so smart? I don't 977 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,240 Speaker 2: want to go home and work and be with someone 978 00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:25,680 Speaker 2: who isn't challenging me. 979 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:27,960 Speaker 3: Well, honestly, I'm at the point where. 980 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,800 Speaker 1: I don't want your thoughts on quantum living. 981 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,560 Speaker 3: But I mean, so they have to challenge me. And 982 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,880 Speaker 3: they don't have to be honestly smarter than me or 983 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,279 Speaker 3: even as smart as me. They've got at least keep 984 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,360 Speaker 3: up right exactly, they got to keep. 985 00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:42,160 Speaker 2: Up Before we leave, I want you to tell our 986 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,760 Speaker 2: audience about body by Julia. 987 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:45,799 Speaker 1: This is your shape where brain. 988 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:48,680 Speaker 2: I'm wearing my bro right now and I was looking 989 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,320 Speaker 2: at it and it's amazing, and your daughter looks gorgeous 990 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,720 Speaker 2: on Instagram. And because women you want to get themselves 991 00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,320 Speaker 2: and feel get themselves back. 992 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:57,680 Speaker 1: Together and feel good. 993 00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,879 Speaker 2: What are your thoughts about the shapewear and why did 994 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:02,760 Speaker 2: you create shapewear? 995 00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,560 Speaker 3: So okay, I'm so excited that you brought this up. 996 00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,080 Speaker 3: And also it's literally in thirty days from now, so 997 00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:13,400 Speaker 3: like mid August, we are coming out with a hybrid 998 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,879 Speaker 3: You ready for this. It's clothing that has the bra 999 00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:21,719 Speaker 3: built inside and the shapewear inside. So and I'm going 1000 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,000 Speaker 3: to send you one. It hasn't come out yet. It's 1001 00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:29,800 Speaker 3: it'll be online and hopefully in store shortly. But basically, 1002 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,399 Speaker 3: it's clothes that are not just sold by your dress size, 1003 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,200 Speaker 3: but by your cup size. So you can buy a 1004 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:37,719 Speaker 3: tank top that's an extra small double D or tank 1005 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,920 Speaker 3: tops that it's an extra small A. You can buy 1006 00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:46,120 Speaker 3: a body suit that's an extra large F cup or 1007 00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:51,000 Speaker 3: an extra large B cup. So the bra is built inside. 1008 00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,520 Speaker 3: And because it's built inside, we use the structure of 1009 00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,040 Speaker 3: the clothing so there's no strap. Because we all know 1010 00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,799 Speaker 3: that every woman on our earth, I've never met any 1011 00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:00,680 Speaker 3: woman who disagrees with me. The first thing you do 1012 00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,200 Speaker 3: when you get home is you unhook that strap in 1013 00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:05,040 Speaker 3: the back because it's so freaking uncomfortable. 1014 00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,759 Speaker 1: Well you don't I have a scar from. 1015 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, serious, everyone does. I don't know a single woman 1016 00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:12,040 Speaker 3: that that's not the first thing she does. Well, this 1017 00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:15,000 Speaker 3: bra has no straps. We use the structure of the 1018 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,439 Speaker 3: clothing to keep the bra in place. And I'm gonna 1019 00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,759 Speaker 3: be honest, I'm fifty four years old, I'm a double D. 1020 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,680 Speaker 3: Oh no not anymore, I'm a D cup now. And uh, 1021 00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:30,080 Speaker 3: they they wander, they don't stay put. I'm fifty four 1022 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,279 Speaker 3: and to be able to wear a shirt where I 1023 00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,239 Speaker 3: don't have to wear a bra because the bra is 1024 00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,680 Speaker 3: built inside and it holds me in place and I'm 1025 00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:44,000 Speaker 3: never concerned about anything moving. It feels amazing. And the 1026 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:49,239 Speaker 3: shapewear's in there too, so it's very comfortably shaping. It 1027 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:52,560 Speaker 3: just holds things in place. But it makes you not 1028 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:56,280 Speaker 3: have to wear layers. And then for. 1029 00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,040 Speaker 1: Uh, for. 1030 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:03,200 Speaker 3: It's a bodysuit tops, it's t shirts. It's closed. It's 1031 00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:07,239 Speaker 3: full on closed, and I love bodysuits and it but 1032 00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,240 Speaker 3: the bras inside and the shapers. 1033 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,840 Speaker 1: Because you have to get and then I wear sometimes 1034 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:13,719 Speaker 1: I have to wear this banks. 1035 00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,719 Speaker 3: But imagine if you have it all went together. And 1036 00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:20,680 Speaker 3: then in November we are going to launch Shape or swimwear. 1037 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:24,200 Speaker 3: It looks like regular swimwear. You'd never know the difference. 1038 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,600 Speaker 3: But because of our technology where we can make things 1039 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,680 Speaker 3: colored and patterned, it's got the bral so it's going 1040 00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:34,000 Speaker 3: to pop you up, and because it's a stretching material, 1041 00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,799 Speaker 3: you've got everything. It's literally one of my models said 1042 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,960 Speaker 3: to me, Julia, you should really tell people all the 1043 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,879 Speaker 3: time that it's a tummy tuck, a boob job and what. 1044 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:43,319 Speaker 1: Was the other thing? 1045 00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,600 Speaker 3: A tummy tuck, a boob job, and light boat in 1046 00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:48,200 Speaker 3: one outfit's amazing. 1047 00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:49,640 Speaker 1: I love that. 1048 00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,759 Speaker 2: Now that is serious because you know what women after 1049 00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:55,040 Speaker 2: their forties, they you can't you can't help it. I 1050 00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,360 Speaker 2: mean it just your body is starting to shift gears. 1051 00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,880 Speaker 2: I mean it's just your your your boobs start to sag, 1052 00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,960 Speaker 2: and your stomach starts to make friends with leaves and 1053 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:08,000 Speaker 2: go places, and it's like, get over here, what is 1054 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,200 Speaker 2: going on? I'm like, why is my stomach not flat? 1055 00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:12,799 Speaker 2: Like it used to be flat? And now I'm like that. 1056 00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:17,600 Speaker 3: You never think, like Halle Berry from you know, James 1057 00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:21,960 Speaker 3: Bond movie, like little shorts tanky like shorts boys shorts, 1058 00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,319 Speaker 3: so pops up your butt, holds your thighs in place 1059 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,480 Speaker 3: so you don't have those cottage cheesy legs. And then 1060 00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:30,160 Speaker 3: you have a tanky any super sexy. No one would 1061 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,600 Speaker 3: ever know except it's shape where and it's also a brawl. 1062 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:33,360 Speaker 1: I love that. 1063 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:34,719 Speaker 3: I'm really excited about it. 1064 00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,000 Speaker 2: And also for even like for for you know, like 1065 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,759 Speaker 2: red carpets and everything, people are like what do you 1066 00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:39,520 Speaker 2: wear underneath? 1067 00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:44,239 Speaker 1: Like You're like, no, that is so not fair. 1068 00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:47,360 Speaker 2: First of all, like I'm a human I have I'm flawed. 1069 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,319 Speaker 2: I'm not perfect everything. I'm not the same weight and 1070 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:54,440 Speaker 2: shape every single I like people's weight fluctuates. Yeah, like 1071 00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,279 Speaker 2: some days you might be a little thinner, some days 1072 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,959 Speaker 2: you might be a little more bloated. Like your weight 1073 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,640 Speaker 2: fluctuates as a woman. I don't think it's unfair. 1074 00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:02,400 Speaker 3: I can't believe that. 1075 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,560 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like I need a little love over there. 1076 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,719 Speaker 3: So I'm literally like, I'm sitting here and I'm like, 1077 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:10,840 Speaker 3: holy because I was about to say something and you 1078 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,840 Speaker 3: just literally told me the reason why I'm doing this. 1079 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,800 Speaker 3: The next part next year is we are making gowns 1080 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:22,600 Speaker 3: ready red carpet wear with your bra and your shapewear 1081 00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:28,000 Speaker 3: built in for that exact reason, because exactly as you said, 1082 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:31,640 Speaker 3: we're women, we're human, So why should we have to 1083 00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,480 Speaker 3: wear nine hundred layers and then get embarrassed on the 1084 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,800 Speaker 3: red carpet and be like, what are you wearing under? 1085 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:39,080 Speaker 3: That's ridiculous. 1086 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:39,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1087 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,640 Speaker 3: So I'm going to be designing and we're going to 1088 00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:46,799 Speaker 3: launch it next year full on Julia Hart design. Because 1089 00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,120 Speaker 3: you know, I've made Kemonel Jenner's dress for the net Gal, 1090 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,040 Speaker 3: I've made some pretty fabulous red carpet wear when I 1091 00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,000 Speaker 3: was at La Perla. I'm going to be designing red 1092 00:54:55,040 --> 00:55:00,279 Speaker 3: carpet wear wedding gowns that whole volume with your braw 1093 00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,440 Speaker 3: and the shape we're built inside. So when someone asks 1094 00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,919 Speaker 3: you when are you wearing under? It's all snarky and mean. 1095 00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,720 Speaker 3: You can say nothing but my fabulous body, bitch. 1096 00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,839 Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. Julia, thank you so much. 1097 00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:16,960 Speaker 2: I'll be coming to dinner with my man friends and 1098 00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:19,600 Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, Julia and her family and my kids, 1099 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:20,040 Speaker 2: tell me. 1100 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,000 Speaker 1: Is this the a your name? Well? 1101 00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,600 Speaker 3: Seriously, they you know, they love me, so they're gonna 1102 00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:24,400 Speaker 3: want the best for me. 1103 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:28,319 Speaker 1: You know, I love it. Congratulations, my unicorn, Thank you. 1104 00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,160 Speaker 1: Nice to see you. Nice to see you too. 1105 00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,799 Speaker 2: Are you navigating your own life after divorce and needing 1106 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,520 Speaker 2: to figure out what your next chapter looks like? Need 1107 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,880 Speaker 2: some guidance? Call us or email us all the infos 1108 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,399 Speaker 2: in the show notes, follow us on socials, and make 1109 00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:45,719 Speaker 2: sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part 1110 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:49,319 Speaker 2: two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the 1111 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:50,080 Speaker 2: main objective.