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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast, and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So we'll stick around two minutes and we'll get into

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Speaker 1: the episode.

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Speaker 2: I started seeing my ex girlfriend's mother, but now she

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Speaker 2: wants to try again.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's too late. I already got it from the source.

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Speaker 2: Babe, you want to talk about mothers trigger warning mentions

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Speaker 2: of abuse. I started dating my ex let's call her Anne,

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Speaker 2: when I was a sophomore in college. We met my

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Speaker 2: sophomore fall. She was a junior who had taken a

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Speaker 2: year off, and by spring we were dating. Everything was

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Speaker 2: going really, really well. It was my first real relationship,

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Speaker 2: her second. We took vacations, cooked every night, and partied.

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Speaker 2: Our spicy sleep life was off the charts. Fund when

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Speaker 2: she graduated the following year, she took a job in

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Speaker 2: the city where we were in school, a northeastern city

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Speaker 2: in the US. I'm from the East Coast, she's from

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Speaker 2: the West Coast. Noise. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Terrible X. No excuse, And if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okay, storytime

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Speaker 2: separate it. After that year, her fellowship ended and she

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Speaker 2: went back West and I went home. We tried to

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Speaker 2: do the long distance relationship for two years, and eventually

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Speaker 2: the distance wore us down and we were fighting all

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Speaker 2: the time over the phone. She'd go out with a

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Speaker 2: friend and I'd think the guy was up to something,

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Speaker 2: and she'd grow wary of my childhood friends who were

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Speaker 2: women typical immateure long distance relationship ys. I should mention

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Speaker 2: at this point that nobody cheated on anyone ever. It

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Speaker 2: was just a disaster of jealousy where all our worst

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Speaker 2: traits came out.

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Speaker 3: It's never happened. It's never happened to anyone ever.

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Speaker 2: We called it off about a year ago. Anne agreed

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Speaker 2: to remain relatively friendly, speaking every week or so, as

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Speaker 2: we were still at heart people who got along. Around

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Speaker 2: the time of our breakup, Anne's parents officially went through They're.

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Speaker 3: Divorce Okay, no cheating, though.

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Speaker 2: Which had been a long time coming. Her mom and dad,

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Speaker 2: despite this, had always been wonderful to me, kind and

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Speaker 2: loving in ways that my parents never were. AND's mom, Tara,

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Speaker 2: took a job that required her to fly between both

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Speaker 2: coasts to my city and said that her mom wanted

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Speaker 2: to get dinner or lunch with me when she was

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Speaker 2: in town. And I was okay with that because we

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Speaker 2: had always been close, and she's been in my life

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Speaker 2: for seven years, and Anne and I were still incredibly close,

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Speaker 2: even to the point of discussing other dates we'd been on.

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Speaker 3: This is this is gonna be so bad. I need protection.

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Speaker 2: Uh uh. I met Tara for lunch. It's awkward, then great,

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Speaker 2: and then at the end she hugs me and tells

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Speaker 2: me she's sorry it didn't work out with me and

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Speaker 2: her daughter. I felt that she really meant it.

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Speaker 3: Oh she did.

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Speaker 2: About a month later, six months exactly after our breakup,

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Speaker 2: and calls at around midnight. Her mom was stranded in

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Speaker 2: my city due to extreme weather and couldn't find a

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Speaker 2: place to crash and offers to PayPal me one hundred

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Speaker 2: bucks if I make my apartment roommate was out of

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Speaker 2: town presentable and offer her mother my bedroom for the night.

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Speaker 2: I would really rather not, but I get that she

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have asked it if it weren't an emergency, and

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Speaker 2: I tell her to keep the money. Her mom has

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Speaker 2: done so much for me over the years. Anyway, Well,

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Speaker 2: Tara comes over, I offer her a drink and say

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Speaker 2: I'm off to bed in my roommate's room. Good nights.

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Speaker 2: Why did you do Why did you offer a drink?

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Speaker 2: Why hopefully was just a tea? She asks if i'll

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Speaker 2: join her? I do. I'm pretty sure at that point

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Speaker 2: that I know what's going on and do nothing to

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Speaker 2: find it.

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Speaker 3: So it happened in me. So you knew this was

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Speaker 3: going to happen before. You had to have sussed these you.

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Speaker 2: I feel like he knew when they went on that

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Speaker 2: little coffee day.

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Speaker 3: You know you had to have done something.

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Speaker 2: Our first together was fun but really awkward at times. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because you dated her daughter, you weirdo. Waking up in

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Speaker 2: the morning was sort of a combination of hilarious and

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Speaker 2: awful as we both got up with text on her

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Speaker 2: screen from Anne.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah about that, dude, Oh my god, poor Anne.

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Speaker 2: Tara makes a habit of staying at my place while

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Speaker 2: she's in town renting a hotel through her job, but

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Speaker 2: either inviting me over or coming to stay with me.

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Speaker 3: Why do you say making a habit like it's not

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Speaker 3: you too? Body.

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Speaker 2: We have spent the next six months sleeping together, talking

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Speaker 2: about stuff. Honestly, I could never see myself with her

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Speaker 2: due to the age difference, but I really sincerely enjoyed

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Speaker 2: my time with her. Here's the problem. Anne called me

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Speaker 2: this evening to tell me she's accepted a job in

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Speaker 2: my city. We've both been in our own therapy this

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Speaker 2: whole year, We've matured, et cetera. She wants to give

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Speaker 2: it another chance.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Opie's matured, all right.

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Speaker 2: I have never ever stopped holding a torch bert Ew

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Speaker 2: that's even worse.

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Speaker 3: You need to go to jailed brow like whatever. I'm

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Speaker 3: afraid of you, and.

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Speaker 2: In some messed up part that was reflected in my

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Speaker 2: actions with Tara Gross. I absolutely love Anne, and if

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Speaker 2: this hadn't happened, would be thrilled about her coming.

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Speaker 3: This guy needs the wallet from pulp fiction because he's

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Speaker 3: a bad MF and.

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Speaker 2: Would want to spend forever with her. I have always

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Speaker 2: felt this way, but was blinded during the long distance

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Speaker 2: relationship period. That was just a cluster f of crappy

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Speaker 2: emotions and anger. I legitimately want to do this. I

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Speaker 2: don't think her Ma would turn into mom slash Mistress

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Speaker 2: Zilla and blow up my spot. She has frequently in

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Speaker 2: the past few months noted how weird it is that

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Speaker 2: Anna and I aren't together. What sorry, Tara has been

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Speaker 2: saying to you while you guys are sleeping together, that

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Speaker 2: it's weird that you and her dag her aren't together?

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Speaker 3: What you have?

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Speaker 2: I just done something so absolutely terribly wrong that I

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Speaker 2: don't deserve to resume my old relationship with Anne. Do

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Speaker 2: I need to tell her?

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Speaker 3: The fact that you don't know and you're asking strangers

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Speaker 3: leads me to believe you have never felt anything ever,

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Speaker 3: because how could you not know? Banging your extra girlfriend's

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Speaker 3: mom is sort of like a hard line you don't cross.

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Speaker 2: And also it's a hard line that you're never gonna

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Speaker 2: get back together ever.

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Speaker 3: Right because once you bang her mom, it's over forever.

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Speaker 2: Sober If you tell her, she's gonna be like, that's

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Speaker 2: awful bye. Two If you start dating her and then

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Speaker 2: you don't tell her and then she finds out, because

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Speaker 2: she will find out eventually, imagine.

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Speaker 3: That he probably would do that little psycho he would do.

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Speaker 3: He'd be like, this will never come to light.

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Speaker 2: I really don't want to. I'm at a loss. I

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Speaker 2: don't know how I should proceed obviously I do selfish,

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Speaker 2: unnecessary crap, and Anne would be heartbroken to know that

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Speaker 2: I've had months of spy, spicy sleep with her mom.

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Speaker 2: And what I want is to never tell Anne to

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Speaker 2: get back with her and be normal. You can't. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if I'm able, slash deserved to do that.

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Speaker 2: Any helper advice would be great. You literally can't.

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Speaker 3: You just can't, and if you could, like I would

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Speaker 3: be like, you need to be studied.

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Speaker 2: Just recently, I called Tara immediately she knew why I

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Speaker 2: was calling. We don't ever use the phone to communicate.

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Speaker 2: She said she know she's known Anne was moving to

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Speaker 2: my city for about three weeks, but didn't want to

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Speaker 2: tell me in case Anne didn't plan on asking me

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Speaker 2: to get back with her. Tara says that regardless of

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Speaker 2: what I do, this is probably a good moment to

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Speaker 2: cut off our intimate relationship and stop talking, and I agree.

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Speaker 2: She says that she'll understand if I decide to go

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Speaker 2: through with things with Anne, but requires that I tell

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Speaker 2: her first. She says she deserves Crappiest Mom of the

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Speaker 2: Century award yup and will batten down the hatches if

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Speaker 2: her daughter decides to cut her off. I could really,

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Speaker 2: really really use some help figuring out what to say

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Speaker 2: to Anne. There is an update.

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Speaker 3: Leave. I don't tell her anything. I don't think you

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Speaker 3: should say anything.

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Speaker 2: I think that you should say, hey, sorry, I'm at

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Speaker 2: a different place in my life. Can't We shouldn't get

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Speaker 2: back together.

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Speaker 3: You, you said her mom need to keep this mess

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Speaker 3: that you've made your mess. Don't make this Anne's mess.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't deserve that.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't deserve.

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Speaker 3: That, just deserve that.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I advocate telling the truth, but like, please

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Speaker 2: leave Anne out of this.

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Speaker 3: You should probably move cities.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's coming you leave. There is an update.

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Speaker 2: I read all your comments and responded to most. Some

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Speaker 2: were very very discouraging, and others were neutral. Honestly, the

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Speaker 2: ones that hit closest to home were the ones from

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Speaker 2: women telling me how they would feel if their ex

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Speaker 2: had slept with their mother bad. Last night, I called Tara,

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Speaker 2: my ex's mom, and told her that Anne, my ex,

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Speaker 2: had asked to get back together with me. Taras adjusted,

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Speaker 2: we end our arrangement, stop speaking, and that I tell

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Speaker 2: Anne although there isn't even a remote chance that she'll

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Speaker 2: be down to get back with me. Tara said, that

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Speaker 2: if I choose not to tell Anne, then she will

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Speaker 2: find a moment to tell her. This wasn't said in

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Speaker 2: an ultimat a manner, I decided that I needed to

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Speaker 2: tell and for better or worse, though probably for worse,

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Speaker 2: I couldn't wait to tell her, and I got really anxious.

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Speaker 2: I knew she has a long shift today that starts

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Speaker 2: at around six am, and that she would awake at

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Speaker 2: around four thirty to get ready. I called her. I

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Speaker 2: know some of you will call me a total wiener

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Speaker 2: for not being able to wait until a more convenient

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Speaker 2: time or when she didn't have a long shift came around,

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Speaker 2: but honestly, I really couldn't. I've always been impatient that way. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you started dating her freaking.

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Speaker 3: Moment right after you broke up with her. Guy's got

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Speaker 3: one percent awareness.

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Speaker 2: I've actually, occasionally over the past year, gotten in the

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Speaker 2: habit of calling her for the shift because I'm at

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Speaker 2: three time zones ahead of her, so so she thought

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Speaker 2: I must have been calling for that. One user suggested

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Speaker 2: that I a script. I plan to say something along

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Speaker 2: the lines of I have something important I'd like to

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Speaker 2: discuss and it pertains to your move and your intentions.

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Speaker 2: With me after you move. This is really difficult for

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Speaker 2: me to say, and please believe me when I tell

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Speaker 2: you that I really regret doing this and putting you

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Speaker 2: and your family in this position. I started a spicy

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Speaker 2: relationship with your mom earlier this year during your trips

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Speaker 2: to my city. We've been seeing each other during your

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Speaker 2: trips to the city. You and I probably won't be

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Speaker 2: getting back together after this, and I'm ready to answer

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Speaker 2: any questions you might have.

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Speaker 3: I would genuinely rather I would crash out.

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Speaker 2: I have to crash out text, I would crash out.

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Speaker 2: Would you rather hear this from your mom or from

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Speaker 2: your axe.

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Speaker 3: Like I'd quite bitterly rather jam two sticks into my ears?

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Speaker 2: Yea, parents or ex.

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Speaker 3: This is just something no one needs to know ever.

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Speaker 3: This is a burden that now has to be bored

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Speaker 3: by op. Yeah, and mom Anne should not have to

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Speaker 3: have this thought in her brain. For one se I

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Speaker 3: would not want to ever know that this is actually

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Speaker 3: this selfish thing to tell her not to keep it

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Speaker 3: a secret. Keeping it a secret makes it your deal.

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Speaker 3: It's it's your weight.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I stuck to the script, because

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Speaker 2: everything honestly became a little blurry anyway, I blurted out

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Speaker 2: something similar to the above, and then there was a long,

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Speaker 2: awkward pause. Finally and said, yeah, boy, I know. At

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Speaker 2: that moment, I almost started crying because she hadn't called

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Speaker 2: me that nickname of the year, and I just felt

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Speaker 2: really crappy about what I had done. She was still

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Speaker 2: she still wants to get back together with you, after

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Speaker 2: knowing that her mom was banging you.

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Speaker 3: That's wild, man. I'm sorry. An Yeah, it has to

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Speaker 3: be hot and good in bed. There's no way what

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Speaker 3: This has to be a plot? Right? This this what chat?

241
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,760
Speaker 3: What movie or TV show plot? Does this align with?

242
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:05,920
Speaker 2: Within Freaky Friday?

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Speaker 3: This has to be this is some corn. This has

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Speaker 3: to be like one of those posts where someone's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna write like a pop culture story, but I'm

246
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,520
Speaker 3: gonna write it like it's her Reddit story and see

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Speaker 3: if anyone notices.

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Speaker 2: Apparently her mom had been less intelligent about technology and

249
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Speaker 2: didn't know how to log out of Gmail fully and

250
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Speaker 2: as basically known, shortly after her mom first spent the

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Speaker 2: night at my place, she spent the next two days

252
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Speaker 2: throwing up and sobbing NonStop. Apparently she was ready to

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Speaker 2: cut us both off. Yeah, and then started to think

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Speaker 2: about it differently. What her dad, she remembered, was a

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Speaker 2: pretty harmful husband. Her mom and he hadn't had spicy

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Speaker 2: sleep in a decade, and her mom was constantly getting hurt,

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Speaker 2: and she figured that her mom was looking for something

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Speaker 2: fun and freeing, and that she and preferred that her

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Speaker 2: mom not be getting it from someone who was a

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Speaker 2: total crap sandwich of a human being. Apparently I'm not

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Speaker 2: a crap sandwich. What she's like, well, you know better,

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Speaker 2: the devil, you know what? She said. She never figured

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Speaker 2: on coming east and knew her mom probably wouldn't have

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Speaker 2: done it unless she needed it. She also said she

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Speaker 2: noticed the spring in her mom's step.

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Speaker 3: She said, Oh, I remember when I had that spring

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Speaker 3: in my step. She must be banging my ex. She's

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Speaker 3: got that one pepin her step that op only can

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Speaker 3: make you have.

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Speaker 2: That's that, and that her mom had started dating a

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Speaker 2: few nicer, older guys perhaps as a result. Anne said

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Speaker 2: that she's been a wreck about this all year, and

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Speaker 2: that she hates that her mom can see me, but

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Speaker 2: that she can't. She cries a lot thinking about it.

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Speaker 2: She still loves me. She said that she sort of

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Speaker 2: hoped that I wouldn't say anything and would just allow

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Speaker 2: her to fly over and get back together with her,

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Speaker 2: and that we could pretend it never happened, but that

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Speaker 2: it seemed unrealistic. She also said that she's furious that

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Speaker 2: her mom was going to let her move without telling

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Speaker 2: her first, and that she and her mom's relationship is

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Speaker 2: going to be strained for the foreseeable future. Yeah, she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to be my girlfriend. She wants to come

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Speaker 2: in person and see how she feels and go on

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Speaker 2: dates with me versus immediately jumping back into something. She

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Speaker 2: feels like this would be a good way to start

287
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Speaker 2: fresh after the way we ended things, and I agree.

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Speaker 2: If we do get back together, there are a few rules,

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Speaker 2: most of which them ball her mom, Block her mom

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Speaker 2: and all venues, never tell her dad, and take this.

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Speaker 3: With me to the grave. So I'm going to go

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Speaker 3: out on a limb and say that although it sounds

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Speaker 3: like you guys have a list of things, I don't

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00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,920
Speaker 3: think that that's realistic. I don't think you're going to

295
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,120
Speaker 3: be able to effectively implement those strategies in your day

296
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Speaker 3: to day lives.

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Speaker 2: I don't think this is good. Don't be in a

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Speaker 2: relationship together.

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Speaker 3: This is insanity. I mean, like convers is you phreakazoids?

300
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Speaker 3: What are we doing?

301
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,320
Speaker 2: I'm sorry you're telling me that. I mean like, hopefully

302
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 2: you never tell anyone this, but like imagine you guys

303
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,480
Speaker 2: have kids, and they're like, where where's that Granda, where's

304
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:55,960
Speaker 2: that grandma?

305
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:01,680
Speaker 3: Well, grandma makes dead remember certain things he shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: The moment I tell anyone we know about this, she

307
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 2: and I are done externally. It needs to never have happened.

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00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,600
Speaker 2: She also got access to all my Facebook, texts, emails

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Speaker 2: for a few months and gets to look at my

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Speaker 2: okac profile, which I'm obviously going to deactivate immediately.

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Speaker 3: But so none of that makes any sense, Like, no

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Speaker 3: one gets to know this is We're all gonna base

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Speaker 3: everything off of a lie, and as long as we

314
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,160
Speaker 3: pretend like this never ever happened, it'll work. Just don't

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00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 3: do it. It's not gonna work. Don't do that.

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Speaker 2: Ann also says that she understands how fed up this is,

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Speaker 2: but she also likes me and misses me. She's also

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Speaker 2: been able to come partmentalize and see this more is

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00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,840
Speaker 2: her mom's fault than mine. There will come a day

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Speaker 2: when she starts blaming you. I'm not sure that that's

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Speaker 2: really fair. I tried to press her on why, and

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Speaker 2: I couldn't get a straight answer. So there's that. Oops,

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Speaker 2: I'll need that at some point.

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Speaker 3: Well. I would wager that it has something to do

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Speaker 3: with the fact that finding this out would probably break

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Speaker 3: your brain. So finding some way to make it okay

327
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,240
Speaker 3: is all we can really do once we know about it. Yeah. No,

328
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 3: this is like literally the most blatantly, like totally ft

329
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 3: situation that should not be pursued. Yeah, that I think

330
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 3: I've seen on the show. Yeah, and like, clearly to

331
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Speaker 3: each their own. I would never want to know if

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Speaker 3: my ex girlfriend slept with my dad ever, unless.

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Speaker 2: Unless I'm like about to get into relationship with them.

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00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, I have to get back into religiship then

335
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,560
Speaker 2: be like it was a hold on. But but don't

336
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,600
Speaker 2: tell me this. Yeah, if there's no chance that I'm

337
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 2: getting back into relationship with them, I don't. I don't

338
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:42,440
Speaker 2: want to know.

339
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Speaker 3: It's not my cross, dude, let them carry that weight

340
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 3: with them, because that's a weight on their shoulders. I

341
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 3: don't deserve to carry it. I didn't do anything wrong there.

342
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to know somebody here has said that

343
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 2: I won't be invited to Thanksgiving, and that's probably true.

344
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 2: Oh I was expecting screaming and crying and some vomiting,

345
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,639
Speaker 2: and I got only a little crying. Honestly, this is

346
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 2: better than I could have expected. But I'm also very

347
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,159
Speaker 2: aware that the fact that Anne will probably decide she

348
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,280
Speaker 2: can't date me once she arrives, or will eventually break

349
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,760
Speaker 2: out with me when thoughts of her mother and me

350
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 2: having spicy sleep plaguer. And they will, they will? She

351
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,040
Speaker 2: thinks they won't.

352
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 3: They will. You think she's just gonna be able to

353
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:26,119
Speaker 3: forget all of this.

354
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Speaker 2: Any advice is welcome. Any harshbirds are also welcome. That's

355
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,199
Speaker 2: the end of that story. Folks.

356
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 3: Wow, your naivety that this could work is like the

357
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 3: level of like a little four year old boy with

358
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 3: the big oversized circular lollipop. Yeah and a spinny hat. Yep,

359
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:47,520
Speaker 3: that's how naive you're acting right now, eyop, My ex

360
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 3: husband has a new girlfriend and I didn't expect to feel.

361
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 2: This jealous Sometimes jealousy comes for us all.

362
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 3: My forty one female ex husband forty two male and

363
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,199
Speaker 3: I divorced when our son was seven. Fast forward to

364
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 3: now our son is our sons fifteen sixteen. In a

365
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 3: few months, somehow we managed to go from divorced and

366
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 3: done to actually being like pretty good friends. Like we

367
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,679
Speaker 3: choose to hang out sometimes, not only when it involves

368
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,120
Speaker 3: our son, and we get along better than ever. It's

369
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 3: worked out way better than I ever expected. And by

370
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from user throw away Okay Barry,

371
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,960
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

372
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 3: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So my ex

373
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 3: has started seeing someone new. They've been together for a

374
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 3: little while now, but it's started to get more serious lately.

375
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 3: I've met her but don't know her well. My son

376
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,360
Speaker 3: is around her a lot more than I am, and

377
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 3: he likes her a lot. I hate that this bothers me.

378
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 2: You're human, man, You're human.

379
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:51,120
Speaker 3: I'm only human. Like I'm genuinely embarrassed by how irritated

380
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 3: I felt hearing him say how nice she is, how

381
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,879
Speaker 3: fun she is, how she makes his dad happy. I

382
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,359
Speaker 3: plastered on a smile and said all the right things,

383
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 3: but in I was surprised by how jealous I felt.

384
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 3: She doesn't like that my ex and I are friends.

385
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,919
Speaker 3: She's fine with us communicating for our son, but the

386
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 3: idea of us hanging out just because we want to

387
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 3: is an absolute no in her book. And he started

388
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 3: to pull back a little. Oh, I mean, I mean,

389
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 3: it sounds like she's right to say that. Though, yeah,

390
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 3: it's totally reasonable.

391
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,200
Speaker 2: It is a little bit different because they're co parenting,

392
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: so like there does have to be contact there.

393
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 3: I understand she's stippy. She's like, it's okay, Yeah.

394
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 2: I understand where she's coming from. Sometimes you go from

395
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 2: being able to hang out with someone a lot, and

396
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 2: then they get a partner, and then they obviously have

397
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:41,919
Speaker 2: to hang out with that person a lot more, and

398
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 2: it is kind of an adjustment that you just have

399
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 2: to work through. So like, don't beat yourself up, Opie.

400
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 2: He's not saying it out loud, but I can tell

401
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,119
Speaker 2: he's trying to adjust our dynamic to keep the peace

402
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,360
Speaker 2: in his new relationship.

403
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 3: It stings. Months ago, we planned a special trip for

404
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 3: our son's sixteenth birthday, just the three of us. It

405
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,719
Speaker 3: was meant to be a shared memory, kind of family

406
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 3: ish experience to mark a big milestone. It revolves around

407
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 3: something my son is obsessed with, something my ex and

408
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,360
Speaker 3: I both enjoy too, But now the girlfriend's coming despite

409
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,479
Speaker 3: having no interest in the activity. I found out from

410
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,200
Speaker 3: my son, not my ex, which made it even worse.

411
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 3: I haven't confronted him about it yet because I don't

412
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 3: know how to bring it up without sounding jealous or possessive.

413
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,719
Speaker 3: But I'm honestly upset. Feels like a sacred little space

414
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,439
Speaker 3: that used to belong to the three of us is

415
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 3: slowly being taken over, and I feel helpless to stop

416
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 3: it without looking like the crazy ex wife who can't

417
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 3: let go. I didn't expect to feel this jealous, and

418
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: I really don't want to come off as the crazy

419
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: ex but honestly, it feels like I'm losing way more

420
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 3: than just a friendship here. I've worked really hard to

421
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,719
Speaker 3: be mature, supportive, and emotionally steady in this cope parenting journey.

422
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 3: How do I manage these feelings without making it weird

423
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 3: or damaging the progress we've all made? How do I

424
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 3: set boundaries if I even can, without turning this into

425
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 3: a drama filled mess. We have some comments.

426
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 2: I just think that you, first of all, you have

427
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,199
Speaker 2: to understand that things are going to change, like you

428
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 2: will not be in the same type of friendship or

429
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,360
Speaker 2: relationship that you were prior to the girlfriend showing up.

430
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 2: It's just going to change. He's gonna his priorities are

431
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: going to change, and that's just how it goes. Unfortunately,

432
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 2: I don't think that you could necessarily set the boundary

433
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 2: of like, oh, oh, like, she can't come with us

434
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 2: to this thing, because I don't think she's gonna like

435
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 2: that very much that her partner is hanging out with

436
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 2: his ex, even if it is a family thing and

437
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 2: going on trips and stuff. But I do think that

438
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 2: there are certain boundaries that you could set and say, like, hey,

439
00:21:55,359 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 2: we need to maybe see each other less while this

440
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 2: kind of transition happens. There are certain things I would

441
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 2: like to do with our child, you know, when she's

442
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 2: not there. I think that you can talk about it.

443
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,479
Speaker 3: I like everything that you said, but I disagree that

444
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 3: because the girlfriend was like, I don't want you just

445
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 3: hang out. But if it's like something about your son

446
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 3: or you do cope anything, and that's what this is.

447
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 3: The sixteenth, it's a birthday. It's a fair family like,

448
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 3: and you being there as the girlfriend like is kind

449
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 3: of irrelevant or like unnecessary because like, if I'm the

450
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 3: girlfriend and I'm in this position, i'm'll be like, all right,

451
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let him go on this trip for his

452
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 3: kid's birthday with his ex wife, who I feel like

453
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 3: is weird vibes. And then I'm gonna see how he

454
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 3: acts when he gets back, And if I think he

455
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 3: was in any way unfaithful to me, it's over, because

456
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 3: I don't want to be with someone who will be

457
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 3: unfaithful to me. Uh, Come at one. In some sense,

458
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 3: you've been living in above, where the idea of uninterrupted

459
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 3: family persisted even through separation and divorce. It was only

460
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: sustainable as long as nobody else was in the picture.

461
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 3: Every situation is different, of course, but as a general thing,

462
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 3: if relationships tolerate being amicable with xes for the purpose

463
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 3: of shared children, tolerance tends to fade when those children

464
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 3: aren't directly involved. The exclusive family unit isn't so exclusive anymore.

465
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 3: Time doesn't stand still as much as you've wanted it to.

466
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 3: In situations where x'es are so involved in each other's lives,

467
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: if there comes a point when one needs to pull back,

468
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 3: there's often a second sting. There was a separation of divorce.

469
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 3: Now the palatable I'm sorry and now the palpable reality

470
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 3: of your ex getting serious with someone else. Ask yourself something,

471
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 3: When is the best time to let go? Then now,

472
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 3: sometime later, when the weight of that reality becomes too much.

473
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 3: If this brings more heartache, no matter what, it is

474
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 3: best to sever that imaginary cord now or wait until

475
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 3: it stretches and stretches and snaps anyway. Ope, he says,

476
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 3: we didn't go into divorce intending to stay friends. We

477
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 3: did commit to being the best co parents we could

478
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 3: be and to be nice to each other for the

479
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 3: sake of our son. We mainly got divorced for the

480
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,239
Speaker 3: sake of him. We argued a lot, but I'm not

481
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 3: one hundred percent sure we would have actually divorced if

482
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 3: we didn't have a child involved. Eventually it got to

483
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,600
Speaker 3: the point where I decided it could not be healthy

484
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 3: for our son, and even then it was hard for

485
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 3: us to actually go through with the divorce. We didn't

486
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 3: start out as good friends immediately following the split, but

487
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: it just sort of happened over time and it didn't

488
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 3: seem like it caused any harm for us to be friends.

489
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 3: I have never heard that one before. We need a

490
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 3: divorce to save the child. Well, I think, and we

491
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 3: wouldn't have divorced if we didn't have one. I have

492
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 3: not heard that. I mean, no, that is usually.

493
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 2: They were you know, maybe they I don't know. Usually

494
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 2: it's the opposite stresses of parenthood and feeling like they couldn't.

495
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 3: I'm not even saying it's wrong. I'm just saying we

496
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 3: don't usually see that.

497
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting.

498
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, they must have been fighting, like yeah, real bad

499
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 3: if they say we got divorced for the kid. Yeah.

500
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 3: So there's a reply here. Did you move on? Opie

501
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 3: says I thought I did, and there's enough ding.

502
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 2: Well, that's super talent because now he's kind of giving

503
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 2: this new layer of like I'm not over him as

504
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: much as.

505
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 3: I thought I was.

506
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, which does change a lot. Yeah, in which case

507
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: you need to set boundaries for yourself of saying, hey,

508
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 2: I don't think we can continue on in the same

509
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: type of friendship because I'm.

510
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 3: Not over you. Update at the beginning of June, I

511
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 3: asked for help with navigating these feelings I have regarding

512
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 3: my son, my ex husband, and his new girlfriend. Thanks

513
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 3: to everyone who replied, even though I don't think I

514
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 3: got a ton of specific, actionable advice. I got a

515
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 3: lot of opinions and some solid advice. I definitely heard

516
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 3: the recurring message loud and clear therapy. Some of the

517
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 3: comments were genuinely helpful in nudging me to start unpacking

518
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 3: the root of what I'm actually feeling. So I appreciate that.

519
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 3: Will I go to therapy right now? Honestly, probably not immediately,

520
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 3: but we'll see. Most of all of the issues are

521
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 3: things I just need to work through on my own.

522
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 3: But I decided to just ask my ex husband directly

523
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 3: about the whole concert slash birthday trip situation. I told

524
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 3: him that our son had mentioned his girlfriend is now

525
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 3: coming on the trip and I needed clarity about what

526
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 3: the plan was so I could figure out hotel stuff.

527
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 3: I kept it as neutral and non confrontational as possible. Truthfully,

528
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 3: I don't want her to come, and I'm still sort

529
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 3: of seething over her being there. He admitted he hadn't

530
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 3: told me yet because he was still hoping she'd back out.

531
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 3: He said he doesn't want her to come and that

532
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 3: it's going to make things awkward, and that she kind

533
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,360
Speaker 3: of inserted herself into the plan and made it really

534
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 3: clear she expected to be invited buddy.

535
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 2: Where's our spine?

536
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 3: That's when you go hey, actually, hey, actually this is

537
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 3: just for like my son and his parents, which are

538
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 3: me and his.

539
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: Eeriest theory, I think they both still like each other.

540
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,640
Speaker 3: He felt like he couldn't say no without it hurting

541
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 3: their relationship. He even said, you think I want to

542
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 3: go on a trip with both of you. I suggested

543
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 3: that maybe I should give her my concert ticket and

544
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,360
Speaker 3: buy a separate one so I wouldn't have to sit

545
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 3: near them and she wouldn't have to stay back at

546
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 3: the hotel. Or maybe I should just plan to take

547
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 3: my son to a completely different date on the tour altogether,

548
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 3: since it was probably going to be very awkward for

549
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: all of us, especially since he was now claiming he

550
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 3: also didn't want her to come. Where is the demand that, Hey,

551
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 3: if you don't want that teller, use your big boy pants,

552
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 3: put him on and tell your girlfriend this is a

553
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,640
Speaker 3: trip for me, my son, and his mom. I don't

554
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 3: want to buy a ticket and sit separately. I don't

555
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 3: want to plan a whole other trip to a different

556
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 3: tour date. The thought makes me really mad, but I

557
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 3: felt like the adult thing to do was at least

558
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 3: suggest it. Maybe I just wanted to see what his

559
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: reaction would be. He immediately said there was no way

560
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 3: I was giving my ticket to her or sitting side separately.

561
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 3: He said, there's no way I'm backing out or going

562
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 3: to a different show. We've been planning this for almost

563
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 3: a year. We did agree to cancel the shared hotel

564
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 3: room and book separate rooms. I didn't bring up the

565
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: fact that his girlfriend isn't thrilled with us spending time together.

566
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 3: I feel like that's something I just need to accept.

567
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 3: Most people in new relationships with someone who has a

568
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 3: close relationship with an X would probably feel the same.

569
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 3: It's uncomfortable, but I get it, and I'll deal with

570
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 3: those feelings on my own. What's hardest for me, though,

571
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 3: is how much I still default to texting or talking

572
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 3: to him.

573
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: We us are still in love with each other.

574
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,479
Speaker 3: We used to talk daily, not just about things related

575
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 3: to our son, but everything.

576
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 2: Y'all are in love.

577
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 3: They're talking about would you like me if I was

578
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 3: a woman?

579
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: Would you like me? Would you like me as your wife?

580
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 2: If I were a worm?

581
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 3: He's been my best friend for over twenty years, and

582
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: before anyone jumps in and says I sound like the

583
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 3: obsessive acts, calling him that he has said the same

584
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 3: about me. I haven't had another best friend in a

585
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 3: really long time. I had two close girlfriends years ago,

586
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 3: but both of those friendships are long gone, not due

587
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 3: to any sort of falling out, but due to reasons

588
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 3: I don't want to get into here. Since then, I've

589
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 3: struggled to find another close female friend, someone I really

590
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 3: connect with on that deeper level. I have friends, just

591
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 3: nobody like that. I'd say my ex husband is the

592
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 3: person I'm most myself with and the person I'm closest

593
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 3: to in the world. So yeah, my ex is still

594
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: that person, and I'm starting to realize that while I

595
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,479
Speaker 3: don't want him back romantically, I do see him as mine.

596
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 3: Not in a possessive, malicious way, but in that I

597
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 3: think I've just never fully adjusted to him being someone

598
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 3: with a life completely separate from mine. It's like he's

599
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 3: still a character in my story, not somebody with an

600
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 3: entire life of his own. Ew gross, I did not

601
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 3: like that. Hated that sentence. I'm also trying to take

602
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 3: the advice of getting to know his girlfriend while also

603
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 3: trying not to overinvolve myself in their lives. I don't

604
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 3: want to be come best friends with my ex husband's girlfriend.

605
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: That just sounds uncomfortable to me. I spent some time

606
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 3: over at his house today and she was there. They

607
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 3: don't live together yet, but he watched my dog for

608
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 3: me overnight because I had a work event to go to. Well,

609
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 3: it's my son's dog too, so the dog basically went

610
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 3: over to his dad's with him. They have a splash

611
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 3: pad for the dogs over there, so we were playing

612
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 3: around with the dogs in the backyard.

613
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 2: I think everyone's in denial here.

614
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like that's a river in Egypt.

615
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Girlfriend's in denial about being jealous, husband's

616
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 2: in denial about loving his girlfriend, and you're in denial

617
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 2: about loving your ex husband.

618
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 3: So he starts asking me things like top five albums

619
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 3: of all time.

620
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 4: Go.

621
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 3: Then we get into a friendly argument about our favorite albums,

622
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 3: which evolved into top five guitarists, etc. And these are

623
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 3: all the things we get along about. I suddenly got

624
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 3: the same I suddenly got the sense that she was

625
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 3: not about our conversation since she doesn't seem to care

626
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 3: about those things and couldn't participate in the conversation. Dude,

627
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 3: I tried to steer the conversation in another direction so

628
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 3: that she wasn't left out. But I'm terrible at making

629
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: small talk. Well, it sounds like you're great at doing

630
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 3: it with your ex husband. I decided to make my

631
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 3: excuses to politely leave at that point. So now I

632
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 3: guess it's just a matter of figuring out how you

633
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 3: start emotionally detaching from someone who's been my closest person

634
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 3: for so long, especially when you still co parent and

635
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 3: have to interact her regularly. How do I detach? I

636
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: never detached after we got divorced, even though I thought

637
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 3: I had. And that's the end of that story. M

638
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 3: y'all got a crush on each other.

639
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,479
Speaker 2: The thing is that like everyone going back to everyone

640
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 2: saying that the girlfriend is controlling and stuff. I think

641
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 2: she is jealous for a reason. Sounds like she's just

642
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 2: I think that the opie and her ex husband are

643
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 2: like still flirting unbeknownst to them apparently, and the girlfriend's

644
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 2: watching this and going you guys are into each other.

645
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 2: I don't like this at all.

646
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 3: Yes, sometimes when someone looks at someone else, you can

647
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 3: just get a sense of by the way that their

648
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 3: eyes are light up when someone talks them about something

649
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 3: that's the eyes Chico.

650
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know anything about that.

651
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 3: You definitely don't know anything about that. Hey's John og host.

652
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

653
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 3: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

654
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 2: My ex husband's wife accessed my gym account without my permission.

655
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 3: Literally throw her back in the abyss that she crawled

656
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: out of.

657
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 2: My AX and I have been divorced for about eight years.

658
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: It was a high conflict divorce and custody case that

659
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: caused me a lot of trauma. Now we're both remarried.

660
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 3: Okay.

661
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a special dance seventy

662
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 2: six to seventy five. And if you want to spend

663
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separate.

664
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 2: I attend a fitness studio occasionally and created an account

665
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: my account for my fourteen year old daughter to start

666
00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 2: taking classes. She had only taken about two over winter breaks.

667
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 2: I received a text yesterday confirming an upcoming reservation in

668
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 2: a class. I didn't make this reservation and noticed my

669
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 2: account was locked out, so I immediately called the fitness

670
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: studio identity.

671
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 3: Theft is not a joke, Jim.

672
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: Apparently my ex husband's new wife, the fourteen year old stepmom,

673
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 2: was in the same gym and asked the front desk

674
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 2: to change all the contact information on my daughter's account.

675
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 2: Also mine address, email address, sorry address, email address, phone number,

676
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: et cetera. But not my payment information.

677
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 3: What a just like skeazy, little sme thing to do, Like,

678
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: that's just a rat behavior. You're being a little rat.

679
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 2: Being a little rat so she could log into set

680
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 2: account and I have access to my payment, billing and billing infoe.

681
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 2: Am I the butthole being absolutely livid over this. I

682
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 2: feel like a complete breach of privacy has happened. Yeah. Uh,

683
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 2: I'm mad at the studio for allowing it to happen,

684
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: and for the stepmom for not asking me about it

685
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 2: or just creating a separate account for my daughter with

686
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 2: her own payment information. The fitness studio has not really

687
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 2: taken any blame, but offered to change the account and

688
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 2: go back. They state they weren't alarm because the stepmom

689
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: has the same last name as my daughter. Apparently, the

690
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 2: stepmom was trying to sign my daughter up for classes

691
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 2: over the summer, but she never consulted with me. Before

692
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: changing and locking me out of my account. I left

693
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 2: the fitness studio and my ex husband have it and

694
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 2: basically told them this is wrong on so many levels.

695
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 2: But now I'm a little embarrassed and honestly worried my

696
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 2: ex will use this against me somehow.

697
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole?

698
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,840
Speaker 2: There are rollin comments in an update. Why would you

699
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 2: be the a hole? They were stealing your money?

700
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 3: I'm so confused. How the gym didn't have record that

701
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 3: you are also on your daughter's account. Yeah, they shouldn't have,

702
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 3: just like let someone with an ID with the same

703
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 3: last name as your daughter walk in there and change

704
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 3: all of your account information. Yeah they were because you

705
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 3: should still be the adult legally attached to that. I

706
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 3: think that they are low key, like, oh my god,

707
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 3: I hope that this woman doesn't like try to supoze. Yeah,

708
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 3: we low key like completely mess up. Just gave a

709
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 3: stranger access to all of your personal information. Yeah, something

710
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 3: needs to happen. I don't know. Talk to a lawyer, yeah,

711
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 3: if you can.

712
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 2: Commoner one says, did you talk to the manager? If not,

713
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 2: please do so or owner, By the way, cancel the

714
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: card or whatever you pay with on the account and

715
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 2: get a new one. If you're not getting satisfactory answers

716
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: from the studio, please go to another one. And op

717
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 2: already said she did. Opie says, yes, I've been talking

718
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,359
Speaker 2: to the manager and it seems to be some back

719
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 2: and forth where I'm expecting more empathy, but they just

720
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 2: keep saying they have resolved this by changing the info back.

721
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: But then they say, I yell that the staff and

722
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,399
Speaker 2: that staff member is going to write a statement which

723
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 2: came across is threatening and retaliation to me.

724
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's exact, because they're.

725
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 2: Trying to, you know, cover the ruts.

726
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 3: The what kind of statement is that? I wish I

727
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 3: could go back in time to all the restaurants I

728
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 3: worked at and all the mean people I took care of,

729
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 3: and I could write them statements. Guess what, that doesn't matter. No, like,

730
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 3: this person's upset because you messed up their stuff, they're

731
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 3: going to be mad. They are allowed to be.

732
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 2: I didn't cuss or anything, but yes, I was passionate.

733
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: Comedo two says not the ale the fitness studio had

734
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 2: no business adding your ex's new wife to your account.

735
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 2: I would be livid if any of my account information

736
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 2: was given to another person without my consent. There are

737
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 2: several privacy laws to protect consumers in these situations. I

738
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 2: would file a complaint with corporate since they're being so

739
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 2: nonchalant about breaching your privacy. Obi says, thanks, unfortunately or

740
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 2: fortunately this is a local place. Comeda two says, I'm sorry.

741
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 2: The manager isn't being empathetic and has made you feel

742
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 2: bad about your reaction. Giving another person access to your

743
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 2: account and payment information is unacceptable. Maybe write a one

744
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 2: star Google and Yelp review and try to reach out

745
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 2: to the owner directly if it's a different person than

746
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,439
Speaker 2: the manager. Opie says, I did this, and she wrote

747
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: back the most awful response, calling me a liar and

748
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: claim they tried to contact me to talk this over.

749
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 2: They hadn't. They claimed I yelled at their employee. I

750
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: did raise my voice and tell them they really needed

751
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 2: to get it together, but respectfully, if that makes sense,

752
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 2: I was just scared it would impact my custody situation somehow,

753
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: so I deleted the review. Commoner three says, not the ale.

754
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 2: You should probably report this to law enforcement so that

755
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 2: an officer can go speak to fitness studio owner and manager.

756
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 3: Nah, that's report to the Better Business Bureau. This is small,

757
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 3: locally owned plays. Say that there's a business here that

758
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 3: is selling people's personal information to strangers.

759
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 2: This is a major privacy and data breach. They literally

760
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 2: broke protocol and should have called you first to confirm

761
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:48,240
Speaker 2: that you were okay with the change. You should contact

762
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: the studio owner if they were not present, to ensure

763
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: they are aware of what happened. You and your ex

764
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 2: husband also need to have a calm, respectful discussion about

765
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 2: your boundaries when it comes to spouses. Yep, this was

766
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: an overstep on his wife's part, but he is responsible

767
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 2: for co parenting successfully with you. Most importantly, keep your

768
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: daughter outside of the drama. Make sure she knows it

769
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 2: isn't her fault, she didn't do anything wrong, and it's

770
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 2: a grun up issue. Ope, he says, good points, and yes,

771
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 2: I didn't mention any of this door, But of course

772
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 2: she comes to me telling me she heard I made

773
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 2: a huge ee a lot of this.

774
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 3: Girls.

775
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 2: Yes, your mother was had her stuff stolen, her credit

776
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: card information was being like her credit card was being

777
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 2: used without her knowledge.

778
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 3: I think the craziest part of this is that it's

779
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 3: relating around like a fourteen year old girl's account and

780
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 3: all of the information attached to it, and like there's

781
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 3: any context under the sun in which like someone's trying

782
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 3: to find her, like a parent who's like being like

783
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 3: you know, someone who is There's so many different situations

784
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 3: in which the gym doing this could have theoretically led

785
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 3: to the pleasurement of this child. Absolutely, and they're acting

786
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 3: like it just like didn't matter at all, which is absurd.

787
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 3: And beyond that, it's like, tell your new wife to

788
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 3: get her own gym membership. Why is she stealing from

789
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 3: our daughter?

790
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 2: I tried to explain to her I needed to stand

791
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 2: up for my boundaries in privacy and has nothing to

792
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 2: do with her being able to attend the fitness classes. Well,

793
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 2: Felice'll understand. Ugh uh, Opie says, I'm not necessarily angry

794
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 2: about her booking a class for my daughter, but I

795
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 2: guess how she went about it. Yeah, she changed all

796
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: of your information. That's not okay. Yeah, I really want

797
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 2: to see why that comment was downloaded so much. My

798
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 2: ex knew about the fitness classes, and that is how

799
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 2: the stepmom knew she had an account there, if that

800
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 2: makes sense. And OPI is based in the US, Opie

801
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 2: responds to a downloaded commentary regarding the stepmother making authorized,

802
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: unauthorized changes with the gym's mistakes. Opie says, even if

803
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 2: she changed my daughter's info, she shouldn't be replacing the

804
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: mother's info and changing it to hers, especially without any

805
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 2: communication to me first. And I see the gym confirmed

806
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: she changed this info in person, and sounds like she

807
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,479
Speaker 2: alluded to being the mom to my daughter. I guess

808
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: I'm going off off the history because I did have

809
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 2: to send her a cease and desist letter six months

810
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 2: ago for some similar things. What that's crazy, But yes,

811
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 2: it may be more of the gym's fault than hers,

812
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 2: or not as malicious as I'm thinking. I think it

813
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: might be malicious.

814
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,399
Speaker 3: She was, regardless, still trying to just steal a gym

815
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 3: membership from on your dime, which is weird behavior.

816
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: I just don't understand why she wouldn't create a new

817
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: account altogether for her, or just ask me for the

818
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 2: longin in vote. You know, because she's trying to steal

819
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 2: your stuff.

820
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 3: She wants to hurt you in some way, she wants

821
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,840
Speaker 3: to get one over on you. And there is an update.

822
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 2: I think op He's like backtracking and being like, oh,

823
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: I don't understand why she would do that. Maybe I'm overreacting,

824
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 2: Like no, I think that she's actively trying to you.

825
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 3: Know, I think mess with the OPI kind of said

826
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:53,319
Speaker 3: one thing. I think OPI's concerned about custody.

827
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like she can't go ham all ham

828
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: out right. Update the studio said me an email, stating

829
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: that the plan was to have the stepmom use a

830
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 2: feature in mind Body, the booking app that allows you

831
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 2: to pay for another client's classes. Is this okay? If

832
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 2: this is true, do I deserve a heads up?

833
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 3: I don't know what I don't even know what that though.

834
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 2: They said. The step mom didn't ask to change the password,

835
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 2: but I couldn't log in when my email address was changed.

836
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,280
Speaker 2: I currently live in a small town, but was raised

837
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 2: in the city. And apparently the owners of this gym

838
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: and fitness studio are friends with the step mom. Oh,

839
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 2: which explains why they seem to be defending her. Ugh

840
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 2: they asked to meet in person. I spoke with my

841
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 2: lawyer and I wrote them a response basically with all

842
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 2: my grievances and saying I didn't want to communicate anymore

843
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: and copy them. I filed the police report mainly for documentation.

844
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 2: There's a little bit left to the story, dimity, final

845
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 2: thoughts that aren't about that.

846
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 3: This might end up being your gym now, because I

847
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 3: feel like you have an off of a I'm not

848
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 3: a lawyer, but I feel like you have enough of

849
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 3: a case that it's like, well, you're either going to

850
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 3: have to give me all of your liquid assets or

851
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 3: give me the business. I don't know. I don't know. Look, yeah,

852
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 3: I don't think if you talk to your ex husband,

853
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 3: yeah and be like, you're literally letting your little thing

854
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 3: one wild. I don't want to have to get if

855
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 3: you don't change the way she's acting. If she didn't

856
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: change the way she's acting, she's gonna end up in jail.

857
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 3: She's stealing my identity, So where's it gonna stop.

858
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 2: I hadn't said anything to my daughter about any of this.

859
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 2: When I picked her up the other day. She was

860
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 2: so angry, and so I made a huge deal and

861
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,359
Speaker 2: now she can't attend the classes I told her. I

862
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 2: never ever said she can't attend classes. Of course, I'm

863
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 2: reconsidering that now based off the whole thing, And she

864
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 2: seemed to understand how it was a violation of a boundary.

865
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: But of course I'm annoyed with her dad and stepmom

866
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: for even bringing her into aut all like that. And

867
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 2: there are some final comments. Don't forget that she did,

868
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: in fact make car charges against your credit card, and

869
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 2: she's sign up your daughter for classes and use your

870
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 2: credit card for it. This is fraud, Opie says. No,

871
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 2: I caught it in time before this happened, but that

872
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 2: was still the intentions.

873
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 3: I'm about to go rob a bank, and then right

874
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 3: before I do, I'm gonna say, actually, change my mind

875
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 3: because I haven't done it yet, you can't arrest me.

876
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 2: Well, no, it's more like.

877
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 3: What's the crime almost robbing a bank? And then the

878
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 3: cops go, yeah, yes, that is a crime. It's called

879
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 3: armed robbery, and you get charged with it even if

880
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: you don't take the money and run. Yep, so welcome

881
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 3: to jail.

882
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 2: You're in jail now.

883
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 5: By I ex slept with my brother and my other

884
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 5: siblings hid it from me.

885
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,800
Speaker 3: Oh, just trying to keep it all in the family.

886
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 5: My ex and I broke up earlier this year. It

887
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 5: was tough but mutual. She and I have known each

888
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 5: other for a long time and she basically became family.

889
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you

890
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 5: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

891
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:57,439
Speaker 5: side show. Okay, story time subbured it. So I found

892
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 5: out recently that shortly after the break up up she

893
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 5: now my brother slept together.

894
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 3: Yeah.

895
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 5: I never foresaw this happening, and I totally reconciled with

896
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 5: the idea that she might move on this. Not only

897
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 5: were they sleeping together, but my other two brothers knew,

898
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 5: and they had kept quiet about it.

899
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 3: Which I mean, how how do you bring that up?

900
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 5: So I don't blame my eighteen year old brother, as

901
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 5: he is basically just a kid, but everyone else I'm

902
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 5: kind of appalled at now that I think about it,

903
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 5: seems like even my dad knew. So I'm mad and

904
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 5: I feel so betrayed. What do I do? Am I

905
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 5: wrong for feeling this way? I'm not typically an angry

906
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 5: guy at all, but I want to rip all their

907
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 5: heads off, all of the head We got a little

908
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 5: bit of an edit to kind of explain upstairs and

909
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 5: the dumbstair one if my brother knew about something that happened, Like,

910
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 5: if you knew this was going on, you did tell

911
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 5: me you're not my brother anymore, not my brother blood,

912
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 5: or not not my brother anymore.

913
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 3: I'm not I'm brotherless. But wouldn't you if you're one

914
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 3: of the innocent brothers? You're like, I shouldn't be the

915
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 3: one you Why do I have to be the messenger?

916
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 5: No, you're not innocent?

917
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 3: Well of course, so he's like, say doing it needs

918
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 3: to be the one who admits it, right, What am

919
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 3: I gonna do? What about you? Because I'm gonna go

920
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 3: tell my brother and he's gonna smack me around. You brotherless? Yeah?

921
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 3: No brother, no brother no sipy Yeah. What if your

922
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 3: sister started dating your ex, you'd be like, you'd be like,

923
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 3: you dummy.

924
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 5: That's not what's happening here.

925
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 3: I know. I'm just saying, okay, it'd be funny.

926
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 5: Like good luck edit passing some contexts from below. I

927
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 5: found out a couple of hours ago from my second brother.

928
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 5: We all live in the same city. I live by myself,

929
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 5: though it used to be ours my xmi's place together.

930
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 5: He and my perpetrator brother lived together. We were supposed

931
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 5: to meet after work and go for dinner and go

932
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 5: watch a movie afterwards. We do this every month. I

933
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,919
Speaker 5: called my second brother to ask how far they were,

934
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 5: and he said he was on his way but didn't

935
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 5: know exactly where am my first brother was at. I

936
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 5: asked where he was coming from, and he said Ex's place.

937
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 5: I think I was just like, what, why would he

938
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,760
Speaker 5: be coming from her place? My brother just said crap

939
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 5: and hung up.

940
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 4: No.

941
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 3: No.

942
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 5: I immediately dialed him back and asked him again. He

943
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 5: was just rambling on about how he was caught in

944
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 5: the middle of everything and was super unfair for him.

945
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 5: I told him to still meet me at the place,

946
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 5: which he did, and he really awkwardly told me what

947
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 5: had happened and how long, and how my third brother

948
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 5: knew as well, and how he wanted to tell me

949
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 5: but didn't want any beef. I best lee left as

950
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 5: soon as he was done telling me everything. I am

951
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 5: just at my apartment now, shocked. Well, dude, imagine that

952
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 5: a slip up.

953
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, I look, you're losing one brother. Don't lose

954
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,439
Speaker 3: the other ones just because of what the one brother did.

955
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,360
Speaker 3: I think it's a really hard position to be in

956
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 3: to be like, well, I have to be the one

957
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 3: to tell him. Yeah, that our other brother who was

958
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,919
Speaker 3: also our brother, So it is sleeping with his ex.

959
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 3: So it's like you love both of those people. It's

960
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: an impossible position to be in some things.

961
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 5: I'll find out we X and I broke up about

962
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 5: eight months ago. Second brother insists ex and bro had

963
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,959
Speaker 5: been going out six months as far as he knows.

964
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 5: He found out why he came home one night while

965
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 5: they were hooking up in their apartment, and insists his

966
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 5: relationship with the Purp brother he just called him perpetrator

967
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 5: brothers the Purple Perp brother has been ten since then.

968
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 5: Third brother found this all out somehow on his own

969
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 5: and pulled the second brother aside to ask about it. Okay,

970
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:38,359
Speaker 5: we need names for the second and third brother.

971
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 6: So second brother, okay, Tate, Well, purp pert brother is

972
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 6: who's second brother? Because we have part brother, third brother

973
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 6: and second and second brother's name's Tate, Sorry, Tate, third

974
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:53,879
Speaker 6: brother's name Sawyer, and fourth brother's name Ryder. So PERP

975
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,720
Speaker 6: brother is Tate. So Sawyer figured out.

976
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,399
Speaker 5: This all happens on his own somehow and pulled Tate

977
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,479
Speaker 5: to the side to ask one time about it. Tate

978
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 5: told the told Sawyer hold off on telling me ope

979
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 5: because he was trying to get the perp brother's message.

980
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 3: Okay, I need to go back. I was thinking, I'm like,

981
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 3: I don't know if we can give them names, because

982
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:15,800
Speaker 3: it might actually be more confusing.

983
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 5: I can give them names, all right, So PERP brother,

984
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 5: I'm a ratio. I'm not gonna say Tate. Okay, here

985
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 5: we go, here we are. It's a guilty name called

986
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 5: Jeffrey Jeff. Okay, PERP brother Jeff, Mike second Mike Okay,

987
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 5: PERP brother, Mike, second brother, Tate, third brother, Sawyer Rioder,

988
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 5: I'll usual in another story.

989
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 3: Okay.

990
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 5: He found out because he came home one night when

991
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 5: they were hooking up in their apartment and insince his

992
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 5: relationship with Mike has been ten since then. Sawyer figured

993
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 5: out this all on his own somehow and pulled Tate

994
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 5: to the side to ask about it. Tate told Sawyer

995
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 5: to hold off on telling O Pete. So he was

996
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 5: trying to get Mike to fess up on his own,

997
00:48:55,320 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 5: and we got an update right here. Things have had

998
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:05,320
Speaker 5: happened since yesterday. Texted my dad that was it was

999
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 5: this short day?

1000
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 3: Dad? Wow?

1001
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 5: Edit texted from the following, did you know about Mike

1002
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 5: and my ex? Can you help me navigate this? He

1003
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 5: texted back the following, this is something men hash out

1004
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 5: with one another. I will not be one to choose

1005
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,800
Speaker 5: between my boys. I'm sorry this happened. Good luck do you?

1006
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 5: Thanks Dad, rual f and helpful.

1007
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 3: I think there should be an ability to acknowledge that

1008
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 3: it's a kind of low down, dirty dog move to

1009
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 3: have done this. I think we should be doing that.

1010
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 3: Why come on, Dad, come on, pops, you can pick

1011
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 3: that side.

1012
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 5: I went through her this morning and I realized she

1013
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 5: had left electronics at my house and had an old

1014
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,959
Speaker 5: Nexus four lying around that she used for an Android death.

1015
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 5: I knew it was hooked up to her Facebook account.

1016
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 5: I am not proud of what I did by any means.

1017
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 5: I'm here for the tea at this point, but here

1018
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 5: for being proud. Yeah, we're not here for morals. I'm

1019
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 5: here with the tea. But I charged it up. Took

1020
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 5: a look. There were two conversations I scrolled through, one

1021
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,399
Speaker 5: with Mike and two with Tate. Found both very hard

1022
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 5: to read. Tate basically had ripped her a new one

1023
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 5: when he found out very hostile conversation in general. The

1024
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 5: one with Mike was tough. There actually wasn't much conversation

1025
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 5: between them before the breakup, But around the breakup, I

1026
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 5: saw more conversation, all dumb stuff, nothing said. There seemed

1027
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 5: to be a bunch of it increasing over time, then

1028
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 5: very sharply transitioned into lovers territory. That's where my heart sank.

1029
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,240
Speaker 5: I think the worst part of what I read basically

1030
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,959
Speaker 5: gave me the indication that he'd been carrying a torch

1031
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 5: for her for a long time, possibly during the whole

1032
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 5: duration of my relationship with her.

1033
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 3: So wait, did he say he or she had the torch?

1034
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 3: He that, Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Mit, bro, probably

1035
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 3: had a crush on your girl the whole time.

1036
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 5: It made me sick to my stomach. How was he

1037
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 5: telling her how beautiful she was? If you wanted all

1038
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 5: these things I couldn't beat, like a husband and a father,

1039
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 5: and she was into it, I guess nearly vomited in

1040
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 5: my mouth. I also saw they both had guilt about it.

1041
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 5: It seemed like they both try to tell at some point,

1042
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 5: but either they both checking out or something had come up,

1043
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 5: which I had mixed feelings about, sadness, anger, disgust at

1044
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 5: the fact that they were painting some kind of scary

1045
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 5: image of me. To justify why they were finding it

1046
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 5: hard to tell me like, no, I'm not a monster,

1047
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 5: you're just finding it hard because of your own guilt,

1048
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 5: and any reaction I'd personally have would be justified. I

1049
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 5: demanded we talk in person anyway, So he just looked

1050
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 5: through the messages. He's fed up with Mike and he's

1051
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 5: demanded to look and talk to him in person. Should

1052
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 5: we do that?

1053
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 3: I just don't know exactly what you're gonna get out

1054
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 3: of it, you know, like you're already like, well, they

1055
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 3: feel like they were kind of like and of course

1056
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 3: they're mixed up about it. They know what they're doing. Yeah,

1057
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 3: that might even be part of why they're doing it.

1058
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 3: It's like lot of people like taboo things because they

1059
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 3: like know it's wrong. That's what makes it appealing. That's

1060
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 3: why people cheat. Part of why that's so intoxicating is

1061
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: it's like, Ooh, we're doing something wrong. We both know it.

1062
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,240
Speaker 3: Ooh we're sharing in this thing, and it's like whatever,

1063
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 3: But I don't know what do you want? Is really

1064
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 3: what we need to know? Op? Yeah, like if you

1065
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 3: want me?

1066
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 5: He was with her for sixteen years. I think he

1067
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 5: wants some I think he's closing. What is that called closure?

1068
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 3: You're closure?

1069
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 5: Closure?

1070
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 3: You can I would just go there and like dunk

1071
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 3: on them, be like you, guys, this is gross.

1072
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 5: You're now dating your little brother. That's freaking weird. Anyway,

1073
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 5: we're eating. That whole thing was emotionally exhausting, to say

1074
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,359
Speaker 5: the least, so I just sat around for a bit.

1075
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 5: Then I called him and told him he was going

1076
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 5: to meet me after work. Now he was going to

1077
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 5: make time for this or I'd never give him a

1078
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,959
Speaker 5: second of my life ever again. Both of them showed

1079
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 5: up at my place later, which I wasn't expecting. I

1080
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 5: don't know why, but seeing them together made me more mad,

1081
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 5: probably because it was real.

1082
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 3: Now.

1083
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 5: We all sat down silently for a bit. At some

1084
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 5: point he had his head in his hands and was

1085
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 5: just making this efing which but whimpering sound.

1086
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,720
Speaker 3: Ah. He was making a little poopy baby whimper noises,

1087
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 3: which made me more pissed, Like you're bigger than me, dude,

1088
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 3: Why are you effing crying? Wait? Come on, man, come on.

1089
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 5: I asked them, point blank, in my calmest voice, how

1090
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 5: this happened and when they were planning on telling me? Honestly,

1091
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 5: the answer was pretty crappy. I just sounded like you

1092
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:38,760
Speaker 5: took advantage of her vulnerability and she was rebounding, like, oh,

1093
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 5: she was lonely, and we bonded over our loneliness. What

1094
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 5: do I know? Then they said they'd want to keep

1095
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 5: the relationship on the down low while they figured out

1096
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 5: if it was working, because they didn't want to risk

1097
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 5: all their relationships on something that might not go anywhere,

1098
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 5: which I got, but I mean still six months. They

1099
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 5: had no answer for me there, just that they tried

1100
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,880
Speaker 5: to tell me they didn't want to hurt me, which

1101
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,760
Speaker 5: guess how much more hurt I am now.

1102
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're doing the catch twenty two if it's like

1103
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 3: they're saying the good thing, but like, the real reasoning

1104
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,400
Speaker 3: behind it wasn't to do the good thing. It was because, like,

1105
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 3: because we know we're gonna have consequences for this, we

1106
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 3: don't want to have to face them. The consequence is

1107
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 3: you're ruining your relationship with your brother. YEP, one hundred percent.

1108
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 3: Six days is maybe the right amount of time to

1109
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 3: be like, hey, I think this was a mistake. We

1110
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 3: probably should stop doing this because it could have irreversible,

1111
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 3: irreversible consequences. But six months way too long.

1112
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:41,760
Speaker 5: At this point, I'm wasted, drinking heavily through this because

1113
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 5: I'm trying my best to take this in stride. He's

1114
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:48,240
Speaker 5: sitting there like a chum. She's crying. I'm seeing her crying,

1115
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 5: tearing up. It felt bad. I was lest mad at

1116
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 5: her before the convo, probably because I liked her more

1117
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 5: than my brother, But now I must set her too.

1118
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 5: I have a pounding headache so bad I can't I

1119
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 5: think see properly. I just want them to leave. I

1120
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 5: went back to the bedroom grabbed your phone so I

1121
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 5: can give it to her, and when I came back

1122
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 5: out of the room, I told her and asked a

1123
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,839
Speaker 5: question I completely regret. Do you love him? Followed by

1124
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 5: do you love me? And apparently her answer was yes

1125
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,480
Speaker 5: to both. Look, the actual f man, I'm competing with

1126
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 5: my brother for the love of the woman I was

1127
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 5: with for half of my life while they've been effing

1128
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 5: for a hot minute. That hit me so hard. I

1129
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 5: kind of just threw her phone at her, not hard,

1130
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 5: just like, look, I'm a piece of crap and I

1131
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 5: violated your privacy. I'm sorry I did that. Please go

1132
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 5: do your thing, be happy, and don't feel burning because

1133
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,439
Speaker 5: I know now she burst into tears, but they both left.

1134
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 5: Need of them have messaged me since that takes us

1135
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 5: to now slept the sleep of the and now I

1136
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 5: have a cold to let crap. No more closure than yesterday,

1137
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 5: but at least they admitted it to my face. Still

1138
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 5: not sure where to go from here. Probably won't go

1139
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 5: to Christmas. I need to talk to Tay about the

1140
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 5: fact that I read his conversation because I owned up

1141
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,399
Speaker 5: to my mistake. I'm like, you, guys, I can tell

1142
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 5: you what I'm wrong. We got a second atit. How

1143
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:05,240
Speaker 5: we feel.

1144
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:11,239
Speaker 3: You know, I think you've kind of done the right move. Yeah,

1145
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 3: you know you wanted some closure you wanted and you

1146
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 3: got some. I don't you know. I don't think you're

1147
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 3: sounding like you want to go like get revenge or anything,

1148
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 3: but like, I just don't think there's anything else you

1149
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 3: can do. Now You've you've literally told them. You're like, well,

1150
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 3: that's trash of you. But don't feel bad about it

1151
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 3: anymore because whatever. I guess, you guys can do whatever

1152
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,919
Speaker 3: you want. Because what I'm not I don't know. I'm

1153
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:40,240
Speaker 3: not God. I can't decree anything here, but you guys

1154
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 3: are weird for doing this. It's about all you can

1155
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:43,399
Speaker 3: say at it too.

1156
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 5: I want to provide some context for the breakup. Okay,

1157
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 5: here we go. Yes, a lot of people were acting

1158
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 5: like I just casually waltz away from a sixteen year

1159
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,399
Speaker 5: longer relationship. This is not true. A couple of years ago,

1160
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 5: we decided to try for kids. Found out she was

1161
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 5: going to have some trouble. I thought, hey, no, biggie,

1162
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 5: we can have modern medicine for this, right wrong. Trying

1163
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 5: to have kids with one of the hardest things I've

1164
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 5: ever gone through with her. We were pouring thousands of

1165
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 5: dollars into it. Money for getting her eggs frozen, money

1166
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 5: for hormones and fertility issues, money for failed IVF after

1167
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 5: failed IVF treatment, miscarriages, looking for surrogates, not to mention

1168
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 5: the scheduled baby making spicy sleep that was stressful. I

1169
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 5: was so drained. Dang.

1170
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1171
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 5: So they broke up because he was trying for kids

1172
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:29,880
Speaker 5: to make it happen.

1173
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 3: I don't know if you call that irreconcilable differences or not.

1174
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 3: I don't know what to call it.

1175
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 5: Erect cocile differences.

1176
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 3: Erectile, erectile, irreconcile, erectile, differences.

1177
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 5: Erecting severances, erecting differences.

1178
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 3: Ay, this is a really sad thing that happened to

1179
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 3: these people. I need you to not make but like

1180
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 3: it was funny because he had to erect a lot no, yes,

1181
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 3: and it didn't a baby. Ah, look, erect the unfortunate situation.

1182
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 3: You're your brother and your acts are two adults who

1183
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 3: are in a consenting relationship, and it's ruined your relationship

1184
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 3: with them, and there's really nothing you can do about

1185
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 3: it except wake up one day and realize, maybe I

1186
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:13,720
Speaker 3: feel a little differently about them than I used to.

1187
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 3: But I don't know. You can't. Yeah, I have to

1188
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 3: take it day by day, and you can definitely at

1189
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 3: least you have two different brothers that you can. You know,

1190
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 3: we'll see, enjoy your time.

1191
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 5: See actually once this or not, I don't know if

1192
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 5: he wants well, it seems like he's more mad at

1193
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 5: Mike having his way than yeah, the others.

1194
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 3: And I like this. Please don't cut off every one

1195
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 3: of your brothers because of this one thing with your

1196
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:40,080
Speaker 3: brother Mike.

1197
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 5: Give them a break.

1198
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 2: Yep.

1199
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 5: So I told her I was happy to have her,

1200
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 5: I did any kids, but she wanted kids so bad

1201
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 5: and her. There was no point in marrying if we

1202
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 5: couldn't have kids, and that was the other thing. I

1203
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:54,919
Speaker 5: didn't need to be married to her to love her.

1204
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 5: I'd walk away from her at this point because this

1205
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 5: was unliving both of us and it was not an

1206
00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 5: easy decision to make. I tried so hard, so hard.

1207
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 5: You guys have no idea, and dang, I think she

1208
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 5: likes your jeans and she wants to make it happen.

1209
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 5: So that's why she went for your brother.

1210
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 4: That makes it so much worse. I say, that's the

1211
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 4: crappiest part. She's known your family for sixteen years, so

1212
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 4: she's like, hmmm, I like him, but it's not Opie anymore.

1213
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 4: Let's try the second one.

1214
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 5: Let's try the third one.

1215
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 3: Let's try the fourth one.

1216
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 5: And fourth one will get you in jail. X don't

1217
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 5: do that. Well No, he's eighteen. Oh so you can

1218
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 5: try it?

1219
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 1: No, no, what Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back

1220
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

1221
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 3: My brother wants to reconcile after he betrayed me with

1222
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 3: my girlfriend. Hey, bro, it's just a prink. I thirty

1223
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 3: one male have been estranged from my brother thirty four

1224
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 3: male for the last six years. I found out that

1225
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 3: he had an affair with my then girlfriend of five years.

1226
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 3: It was a serious relationship and I was planning to

1227
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 3: propose and build a life with her. I found out

1228
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,480
Speaker 3: for my ex's best friend about the affair. She said

1229
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 3: it was literally making her physically sick and she could

1230
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:12,439
Speaker 3: not stand by what they were doing behind my back.

1231
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 5: Oh boy.

1232
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from tah And if you

1233
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1234
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 3: slash okay story tom subreddit so oh brother, pooh oh brother,

1235
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 3: where art thou. I had trouble believing her and told

1236
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 3: her not to repeat to anyone what she told me.

1237
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 3: I did not even confront them right away. Oof. That

1238
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 3: denial hits real strong. I could not believe it unless

1239
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 3: I saw it with my own eyes. My brother had

1240
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 3: flirted with my ex, but he was a womanizer. It

1241
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 3: flirt with anyone female, so I did not think anything

1242
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 3: of it. I was in such shock, and I walked

1243
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 3: around like a zombie trying to figure out what to do.

1244
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 3: Can we get a little recognition there?

1245
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 4: Thank you?

1246
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 5: Thank you.

1247
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,440
Speaker 3: My friend who told me doesn't have a malicious bone

1248
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 3: in her body. So I decided to observe. But I

1249
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 3: couldn't imagine my brother betraying me like that. I told

1250
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:07,479
Speaker 3: my ex that I was leaving down for two days

1251
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 3: on a business trip. I sent my brother a text

1252
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 3: that I was going to be gone. I thought about

1253
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,760
Speaker 3: it a lot and decided if they were hooking up

1254
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 3: and they would be meeting at my brother's house, I

1255
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 3: needed to see this with my own eyes.

1256
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 5: I appreciate getting evidence before you pulled the trigger, because

1257
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 5: he is very invested in this. Yeah, he wants to

1258
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 5: live with this woman. I think be working behind the scenes,

1259
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 5: being like Batman, No the Joker. No, no, the Joker,

1260
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 5: because Batman works behind the scenes, but the Joker is

1261
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 5: always one step or two steps ahead.

1262
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. I gotta have a little bit of proof with

1263
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 3: the pudding, you know. Yeah. I ended up pretending to

1264
01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 3: leave town. I went to the movies to kill some time,

1265
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:47,120
Speaker 3: and literally hoping against hope her car would not be

1266
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 3: in his driveway. There would be no reason she could

1267
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 3: give me why she would be at his house without

1268
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 3: me in the middle of the day. And I can

1269
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 3: still remember that day like it was yesterday. Oh no,

1270
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 3: I remember stopping my car at a stop sign before

1271
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:03,959
Speaker 3: turning and not going anywhere because I knew what could

1272
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 3: be in store for me. My heart was beating so

1273
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 3: fast I thought I would pass out. I needed to

1274
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 3: know the truth, and sure enough, her car was at

1275
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 3: his house.

1276
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 5: Maybe there was an emergency, if we think about that,

1277
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 5: maybe she texted you, but it didn't.

1278
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 3: Go through emergency. Emergency. My boyfriend's out of town for

1279
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 3: two days. We only have two days. We only have two.

1280
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:29,080
Speaker 5: Days, two days. They're get jiggy with it.

1281
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 3: I went from shock to pure anger in a matter

1282
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:34,920
Speaker 3: of a few seconds. I had a key to my

1283
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 3: brother's house, so I used it and let myself in.

1284
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,640
Speaker 3: I saw them in his backyard, playing in his pool,

1285
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 3: and they had their hands all over each other and kissing.

1286
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 3: They were having a romantic picnic by the pool. I

1287
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 3: literally started taking pic.

1288
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 5: Just saying I would. I would be pretty upset. That's

1289
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 5: what I would do. That's how I would fill in

1290
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:53,480
Speaker 5: that moment.

1291
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I would too. Then, okay, so they

1292
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 3: were having a room antic picnic by the pool. I

1293
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 3: literally started taking pictures of them, and then they noticed

1294
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 3: me and were horrified, and I started scurreaming at them all.

1295
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,960
Speaker 5: Oh the uh, dude, you should have recorded, because you

1296
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 5: could definitely get more money off of that by putting

1297
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 5: in online.

1298
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could put that on World Star for sure.

1299
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 3: All that is unholy broke loose in that moment. I

1300
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 3: don't even know how I got from his house to

1301
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:26,080
Speaker 3: my car and back to my house. To this day,

1302
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 3: I have no memory of driving home. I got back

1303
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 3: and I threw all of her crap out. What I

1304
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 3: did not break ended up in the front yard. I

1305
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 3: told her if she didn't leave, I would tell the

1306
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 3: world how she fed my brother.

1307
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 5: Okay, fair, fair, there you go.

1308
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:44,400
Speaker 3: My neighbors came over concerned. I told all of them

1309
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 3: I just found out that my girlfriend was effing my

1310
01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 3: brother and she's moving out. They left shocked and disgusted.

1311
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 3: After I banished her from my residence, I turned my

1312
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 3: phone off and got maybe a little too wasted. My

1313
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,800
Speaker 3: neighbors came to check on me, made sure I was okay,

1314
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 3: out of concern. One called my cousin and he came over.

1315
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 3: I told him what I saw, and he kept asking

1316
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 3: if I could have perhaps misinterpreted what I had seen.

1317
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,560
Speaker 5: Hey, we'll just have your girlfriend hang out with my

1318
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:18,840
Speaker 5: brother by the pool having a romantic date.

1319
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:21,280
Speaker 3: Mm hm that they told me that they set up

1320
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 3: after I told them I'd be out of town for

1321
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 3: the weekend. Guys, he was CPR Yeah while standing up

1322
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 3: certifiable picnic relations Yeah.

1323
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 5: What were they eating? Hot dogs?

1324
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 3: Hot dog? Dude? They were eating freaking jump cream piles.

1325
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 3: Oh you know what. They were eating junk food pow

1326
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:41,600
Speaker 3: right off the top of the head, right off the dome. Uh.

1327
01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 3: I showed him the pictures of them, and he had

1328
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 3: no doubt. This tore our family apart. I disowned my

1329
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 3: brother and he was to me. Our mother was so

1330
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 3: upset she slapped him across the face as hard as

1331
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:59,120
Speaker 3: she could and exiled him from the house when he

1332
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 3: was trying to explain himself. The most mom had ever

1333
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 3: done was smack us on the hand. When we were little,

1334
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 3: he was disowned and shunned by everyone, not invited to anything.

1335
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 3: So apparently my now ex and brother were in love

1336
01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 3: and had been carrying on for two months when I

1337
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 3: found out. They did not end their relationship right away.

1338
01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 3: All they had was each other. Why.

1339
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm saying, if you're gonna be cheating, you better

1340
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 5: stay with him forever.

1341
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 3: We had the same friends, and they all took my side,

1342
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:31,080
Speaker 3: and that is when the relationship officially ended. He dumped

1343
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 3: her because they could never be happy together because their

1344
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 3: relationship was tainted and they were poisoned together. Gee, Willickers,

1345
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 3: how did that happen?

1346
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:39,160
Speaker 5: How did it get tainted?

1347
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:39,920
Speaker 3: Oh?

1348
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,120
Speaker 5: As if there was like some steps you could have

1349
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 5: taken for this not to be tainted.

1350
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 3: Oh if only this is like their whole relationship was

1351
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 3: like a like a like an alchemist crafting a potion

1352
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 3: of plague.

1353
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:54,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, and the brother broke it off.

1354
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,320
Speaker 3: I'm actually not sure who broke it off. Uh, it's okay.

1355
01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 3: He dumped her, yep, because they couldn't be happy together

1356
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 3: because everyone was telling them that they were terrible. Well,

1357
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:03,440
Speaker 3: he also has like.

1358
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,280
Speaker 5: A line of girls waiting to be with them. So

1359
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:06,880
Speaker 5: that's why he's like, oh, this is a return.

1360
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,960
Speaker 3: Oh he's got a roster. He's a roster. Yeah, he's

1361
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 3: a roster, a roster farian.

1362
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:12,440
Speaker 5: He's got a five star players you're waiting for.

1363
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 3: He's got a five star recruits. You got a vegaray.

1364
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:18,840
Speaker 3: So after they broke up, he tried repeatedly to get

1365
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:21,000
Speaker 3: in touch with me, but I would have none of it,

1366
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,280
Speaker 3: and I was a mess for that first year. I

1367
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 3: threw myself into my career and I knew enough to

1368
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:29,360
Speaker 3: go easy on the booze, so I was having meaningless,

1369
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 3: spicy sleep with a different woman every weekend. I needed

1370
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,400
Speaker 3: to change, so I started applying for jobs that were

1371
01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:39,080
Speaker 3: one thousand plus miles away. I wanted to get as

1372
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,880
Speaker 3: far away as possible and start over. I accepted a

1373
01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:44,439
Speaker 3: position on the West Coast that made my career grow

1374
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 3: by leaps and bounds. I have two younger siblings that

1375
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:51,560
Speaker 3: are boy girl twins, and they ended up following me

1376
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 3: to California and attended college and have settled there. Hey,

1377
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 3: that's what I did after my breakup of the Californians.

1378
01:06:58,520 --> 01:07:01,120
Speaker 3: My dad retired two years ago and my mom found

1379
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:03,400
Speaker 3: a job in Las Vegas, so they moved there, which

1380
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 3: is about four hours away from me and the twins.

1381
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 3: We see each other often. During the VID we all

1382
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 3: went to Vegas to stay with our parents since we

1383
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 3: all worked remotely, and we're together in the same house

1384
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:15,480
Speaker 3: for nine months. It was so nice all of us

1385
01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:18,680
Speaker 3: being together, but it felt like someone was missing. That

1386
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 3: was the first time in years that I had actually

1387
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:21,840
Speaker 3: missed my.

1388
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 5: Brother way way, way, you missed your screwer brother wa

1389
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 5: way and where he's still your girlfriend.

1390
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:28,880
Speaker 1: Bro, I got hate in my heart for this guy.

1391
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:30,360
Speaker 5: I ain't gonna give me a love.

1392
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:32,960
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know what.

1393
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 5: You don't even know.

1394
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 3: You don't know because you don't I know ever mentioned

1395
01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:37,120
Speaker 3: anything nice siblings.

1396
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 5: You don't even know how to reconnect.

1397
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:38,360
Speaker 2: Time.

1398
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 3: I know what they say is time heals all wounds.

1399
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 5: You got time on your hands.

1400
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 3: This guy had time. It's been a while.

1401
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:47,120
Speaker 5: Well he might, he might, he's not with her anymore.

1402
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,919
Speaker 5: But he also he should thank your brother for doing

1403
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:53,760
Speaker 5: this really honestly, in a way, in a way, thanks

1404
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:54,920
Speaker 5: for it. He didn't take his one, and he took

1405
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:56,280
Speaker 5: his problem. Thanks for taking my problem.

1406
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:59,680
Speaker 3: Where we go. I appreciate my parents and the rest

1407
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:02,120
Speaker 3: of the family have respected my wishes to never be

1408
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 3: in the same room with him and have never pressured

1409
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:07,120
Speaker 3: me to make peace with him. Their support certainly made

1410
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:10,240
Speaker 3: my healing easier. Life goes on as they say. I've

1411
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,120
Speaker 3: concentrated on my career and bought a house. I've traveled

1412
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 3: the world. There's been a couple of long term relationships

1413
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:19,439
Speaker 3: that ended, but on friendly terms. I'm single right now

1414
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 3: and enjoying life. My brother got married and has a baby.

1415
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,639
Speaker 3: I've never met his wife or son. Ope, you now

1416
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 3: have the opportunity to pull the funniest prank of all time.

1417
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:30,800
Speaker 3: You steal his wife.

1418
01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:33,840
Speaker 5: Ah, I was gonna say, steal the son, make him

1419
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:35,040
Speaker 5: a better man than he would ever be.

1420
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:37,639
Speaker 3: You steal the wife first, and then you steal the son.

1421
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:42,200
Speaker 3: Don't steal anyone, Yeah, don't steal anyone. So I have

1422
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 3: never met his wife or his son. I was invited

1423
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,840
Speaker 3: to their wedding, but I did not attend. My parents

1424
01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:49,600
Speaker 3: see him like one or two times a year for

1425
01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:54,080
Speaker 3: long weekends and talk regularly. They're crazy about their grand baby.

1426
01:08:54,240 --> 01:08:57,080
Speaker 3: They've spent some holidays with him when I had other plans.

1427
01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,800
Speaker 3: The twins barely talk to him and have not met

1428
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:02,280
Speaker 3: the baby in person. My sister told me that his

1429
01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:05,080
Speaker 3: wife is lovely and not sure what she sees in

1430
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:07,559
Speaker 3: our brother. I got an invite to attend my nephew's

1431
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:10,639
Speaker 3: first birthday party in May, and I am actually thinking

1432
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:13,599
Speaker 3: of going. I don't have that horrible pain I used

1433
01:09:13,640 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 3: to feel. I don't even necessarily feel anger any longer

1434
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 3: towards him. More so, sad because of all of the loss.

1435
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:23,360
Speaker 3: I have a desire to meet my nephew. Has anyone

1436
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:25,720
Speaker 3: been able to come back from something like this? How

1437
01:09:25,720 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 3: did it go? Any regrets? And there's an update? Riley?

1438
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,759
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts on this situation? As Op said,

1439
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,840
Speaker 3: I didn't go any regrets, hasn't even been through this?

1440
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:37,559
Speaker 3: What do I do? One?

1441
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:40,840
Speaker 5: I know everyone has complicated feelings with forgiving. I'm always

1442
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:42,800
Speaker 5: a big fan of forgiving, not that you actually have

1443
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:45,519
Speaker 5: to forgive the person, but forgive yourself for going through that.

1444
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:49,360
Speaker 5: So you don't hold that for yourself, but maybe contemplate

1445
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,040
Speaker 5: the idea of forgiving your brother. See how that works?

1446
01:09:52,439 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 5: I mean, he is family. You do miss him, you

1447
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:56,920
Speaker 5: miss having him a part of your life. You know

1448
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:57,800
Speaker 5: what he did was wrong?

1449
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:01,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it feels like OPI's good at doing that. It

1450
01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:03,200
Speaker 3: was like Op, he is very aware that. Like, Okay,

1451
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,160
Speaker 3: I noticed I kind of did miss my brother. There.

1452
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:09,160
Speaker 3: I do kind of want to meet my nephew.

1453
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:09,759
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1454
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:13,759
Speaker 3: So if you you know, no two situations are exactly

1455
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 3: the same.

1456
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:14,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know.

1457
01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:16,400
Speaker 3: If you're feeling those feelings that you want to meet

1458
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:17,719
Speaker 3: your nephew, go meet your nephew.

1459
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:20,280
Speaker 5: Met your nephew. Also, this did happen a while Tom

1460
01:10:20,360 --> 01:10:23,720
Speaker 5: does he'll wounds. It does not all wounds, but it

1461
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:28,280
Speaker 5: does he'll some wounds. I would definitely conciplate this, really

1462
01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:30,960
Speaker 5: think about it, journal, meditate, pray about it, whatever you

1463
01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:33,240
Speaker 5: gotta do, and see how you actually feel about it.

1464
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:36,040
Speaker 5: Go to your brother, talk to him. Hey, what you

1465
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:38,000
Speaker 5: did was messed up. I love you as a brother.

1466
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 5: Let's put this behind us, right And I think I

1467
01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:44,479
Speaker 5: honestly you missing him is like showing that you're ready

1468
01:10:44,479 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 5: for the next steps of like reconciliation with your brother. Hey,

1469
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:50,759
Speaker 5: it's gonna suck. You can call him out on his crap.

1470
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:51,760
Speaker 5: That's how I feel.

1471
01:10:52,240 --> 01:10:55,160
Speaker 3: I want to thank everyone who posted. I read all

1472
01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:57,639
Speaker 3: the posts, and I was given some really good advice.

1473
01:10:58,000 --> 01:11:00,639
Speaker 3: It was strongly advised by multiple people that I don't

1474
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:02,439
Speaker 3: see or talk to my brother for the first time

1475
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:05,559
Speaker 3: at my nephew's birthday party. That is actually a really

1476
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 3: good point I did not think about. I have to

1477
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,080
Speaker 3: agree with that. They were a couple of comments that

1478
01:11:11,240 --> 01:11:14,000
Speaker 3: mentioned if my brother's wife knew about his history, and

1479
01:11:14,080 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 3: I honestly had no idea. It's hard to hide being

1480
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,600
Speaker 3: estranged from a sibling. From a spouse, and I was

1481
01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:23,360
Speaker 3: very curious if he was upfront about his feel fantastic

1482
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:27,519
Speaker 3: history or if he had flat out lied. I spoke

1483
01:11:27,560 --> 01:11:29,679
Speaker 3: to my dad and I asked him what he knew.

1484
01:11:29,920 --> 01:11:32,160
Speaker 3: He said that he asked him if she knew his

1485
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,640
Speaker 3: history after they became engaged, and my brother said she

1486
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:38,200
Speaker 3: is aware. Dad did specify that he has never discussed

1487
01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:40,240
Speaker 3: this with sister in law, so I cannot say one

1488
01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:42,880
Speaker 3: hundred percent that he's telling the truth. Dad also mentioned

1489
01:11:42,920 --> 01:11:45,519
Speaker 3: sister in law has her own skeletons in her closet.

1490
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,400
Speaker 3: He said he did not want to gossip, but a

1491
01:11:47,439 --> 01:11:49,560
Speaker 3: simple Google search with her maiden name would tell me

1492
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,560
Speaker 3: a lot. So I googled her and you know what?

1493
01:11:51,880 --> 01:11:56,760
Speaker 3: You know what that means? Yes? Yes, tell me tell me.

1494
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:59,080
Speaker 3: Criminal record is what that is. So I googled her

1495
01:11:59,280 --> 01:12:01,640
Speaker 3: and I thought my brother was MESSI she is a

1496
01:12:01,720 --> 01:12:07,240
Speaker 3: convicted felon that did prison time for vehicular man's i e.

1497
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 3: Driving a little intoxicated and unliving an individual. It happened

1498
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,600
Speaker 3: a long time ago, but I cannot imagine living with

1499
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,720
Speaker 3: something like that on my conscious. Obviously, my sister does

1500
01:12:19,760 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 3: not know her history. I don't think she would call

1501
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:24,680
Speaker 3: her lovely if she did. I also asked Dad what

1502
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:26,800
Speaker 3: he thought of me talking to him again and if

1503
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:30,960
Speaker 3: he really has changed. Dad said he has matured some

1504
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:34,439
Speaker 3: since becoming a father and he is remorseful for what

1505
01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:38,200
Speaker 3: he did, but he is still self absorbed and entitled,

1506
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:41,400
Speaker 3: and that kind of left me more confused. So my

1507
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:43,880
Speaker 3: dad said it would be his dream come true to

1508
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:46,519
Speaker 3: have all his kids in the same house again, but

1509
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:49,600
Speaker 3: not to pressure myself into having any kind of relationship

1510
01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:52,599
Speaker 3: with him. For their sake. Dad said he told him

1511
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 3: a long time ago there would be long term consequences

1512
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:57,840
Speaker 3: and he had to live with them, even if that

1513
01:12:57,880 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 3: man he got left out of family holidays in vag

1514
01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:03,120
Speaker 3: Since finding out that info on sister in law, it

1515
01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 3: kind of left me feeling deflated and maybe not as

1516
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:08,719
Speaker 3: inclined to see my brother again. I know people can change,

1517
01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 3: but I am not sure if I want to bring

1518
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:13,720
Speaker 3: those two broken people into my life, even if it

1519
01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:16,080
Speaker 3: means I don't get to meet my nephew. If I

1520
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:19,479
Speaker 3: was not sure before, I'm even more uncertain now. For

1521
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,920
Speaker 3: the time being, I think I'm going to leave it alone,

1522
01:13:22,120 --> 01:13:24,160
Speaker 3: and I think that's best, and that's the end of

1523
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:24,840
Speaker 3: the freaking story.

1524
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 5: Wow, it was one sentence away.

1525
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:28,680
Speaker 3: That's crazy, that is crazy. I'm mad at myself for

1526
01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 3: having done that.