WEBVTT - I Need To Move Out Of Their House - 7.22.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you

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<v Speaker 1>need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting and more.

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<v Speaker 1>one right here, right now. And you never know, this

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<v Speaker 1>one could be yours.

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<v Speaker 3>It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.

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<v Speaker 3>We got it for you here it is strawberry.

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<v Speaker 1>Let up, all right, nephew, thank you. Subject I need

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<v Speaker 1>to move out of their house. Dear Stephen Shirley, my

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<v Speaker 1>husband's first wife died eight years ago, and I met

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<v Speaker 1>him two years ago. He's a sweetheart of a man,

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<v Speaker 1>and he is a loving father to his two daughters,

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<v Speaker 1>ages seventeen and fourteen. When he introduced me to the girls,

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<v Speaker 1>I fell in love because they were polite and well mannered.

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<v Speaker 1>They told me that they were happy that their father

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<v Speaker 1>was dating me, and that I must be special because

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<v Speaker 1>he has never introduced them to a woman. That was

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<v Speaker 1>in the beginning. In less than three months, they had

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<v Speaker 1>stopped speaking to me whenever I went to their house.

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<v Speaker 1>If I cooked for their father. They wouldn't eat. We

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<v Speaker 1>announced that we were getting married, and I asked the

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<v Speaker 1>girls if they would be bride to mate. Their maternal

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<v Speaker 1>grandmother called me and said it was too much, too

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<v Speaker 1>soon for the grand for her granddaughters, and I need

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<v Speaker 1>to wait a while to get married. I told her,

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<v Speaker 1>with all due respect, that we're getting married because their

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<v Speaker 1>dad deserves happiness. Again, the daughters came to the wedding,

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<v Speaker 1>but chose not to wear pink like everyone else. I

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<v Speaker 1>moved in with my husband and it's been very tense.

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<v Speaker 1>The girls don't try to hide their feelings and openly

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<v Speaker 1>say negative things and compare me to their mother. I

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<v Speaker 1>would love for my husband to correct them or come

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<v Speaker 1>to my defense, but he won't say anything. I understand

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<v Speaker 1>how he's in the middle. So I suggested we move

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<v Speaker 1>to a new home. He said we can't move because

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<v Speaker 1>of the girl's school. He caters to them. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like he's chosen them over our happiness. I need to

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<v Speaker 1>move out of their house. What do I do? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a mess right here, This is really a mess.

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<v Speaker 1>So now, your husband did all the right things, all

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<v Speaker 1>the right things to get you. Now that he has you,

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<v Speaker 1>he stopped trying. He's wrong, period. I agree with you

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent that he should come to your defense

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<v Speaker 1>and say something to these little girls, to the and

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<v Speaker 1>especially to the grandmother. And when you met the girls,

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<v Speaker 1>you said you fell in love with them. They were

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<v Speaker 1>very sweet, they were very polite, they were well mannered.

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<v Speaker 1>So what happened, I'll tell you what happened. What made

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<v Speaker 1>them stop speaking to you. It's that wicked grandmother of theirs.

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<v Speaker 1>She's gotten into their heads. She's poisoned them against you,

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<v Speaker 1>because now when you come over, they don't even speak

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<v Speaker 1>to you. She the grandmother, even called you said it

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<v Speaker 1>was too soon for you guys to get married. Out

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<v Speaker 1>of her business. She overstepped. She shoulders a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>blame for this. But your husband, where is he in

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<v Speaker 1>all of this? Where is the man in this relationship?

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<v Speaker 1>Why hasn't he told his daughters he shouldn't even be

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<v Speaker 1>in the middle of this. Hey, this is my wife

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<v Speaker 1>and this is how it is. Now you're thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>moving out of their house, No, this is your house too,

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<v Speaker 1>And before you make any kind of move, you need

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<v Speaker 1>to have a conversation with him and let him know

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<v Speaker 1>exactly how you feel. If not then you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think this marriage is gonna work, Tommy.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, sir. I think something happened in that

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<v Speaker 3>three months. I think after moving in, something happened. Something

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<v Speaker 3>ain't go right. Because these girls liked you at first,

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<v Speaker 3>So something took a spience somewhere where all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 3>it takes a lot for somebody to just take a

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<v Speaker 3>whole three sixty nine.

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<v Speaker 4>They don't. They don't like you no more.

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<v Speaker 3>Something happened now now, Mama, Mama, Pearl, miss Pearl don't

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<v Speaker 3>like you.

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<v Speaker 4>Let's just get that straight. She don't like you at all. Now.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if Pearl is his mama or his

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<v Speaker 3>wife's mother. I don't know which one it is, but

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<v Speaker 3>it don't matter, but my pearl don't like it. It's

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<v Speaker 3>probably it's probably the wife's mother's mom. I'm gonna assume

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<v Speaker 3>that's that's the wife's mother.

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<v Speaker 4>But I don't, I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>Can I is it wrong for me to feel like

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<v Speaker 3>maybe y'all got married a little too quick? But I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>even though she's been deceased for eight years, she's been

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<v Speaker 3>she passed away.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, so she met him two years ago.

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<v Speaker 4>This woman, I just I just don't. I don't get it.

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<v Speaker 3>Something is wrong, Something is wrong with these ladies. If

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<v Speaker 3>they they just totally against you now, because all of

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<v Speaker 3>a sudden they was happy for their daddy.

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<v Speaker 4>Everything was going peach and three.

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<v Speaker 3>But then all of a sudden, now you know, they

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<v Speaker 3>don't care no about to wear and they probably oh black,

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<v Speaker 3>they showed him where to pink. Everybody else is playing.

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<v Speaker 3>So they just basically rebelled right in front of you.

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<v Speaker 4>So I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>Telling you, grandmother, but you can't fix it, though, Shirley.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't fix a man with his two daughters.

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<v Speaker 4>He ain't.

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<v Speaker 3>He's not finna leave them. He's not finna not side

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<v Speaker 3>with those girls. He's been with them girls forever.

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<v Speaker 4>He's not. It's not gonna work. This is not gonna work.

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<v Speaker 4>You need to get out of this. I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 3>You know you wasted a couple of years. That's like,

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<v Speaker 3>but you know, talk it up, get on, I find

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<v Speaker 3>you somebody else. I think you should lead this relationship.

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<v Speaker 3>And I don't normally say that.

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<v Speaker 2>M who's going to have to if it doesn't get

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<v Speaker 2>any better. It's not gonna get.

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<v Speaker 1>The grandmother interfering because they were flying at first and.

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<v Speaker 4>Old ladies do.

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<v Speaker 3>Sometime they just hey, I don't know, but but you're

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<v Speaker 3>not finna get an older little woman to stay out

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<v Speaker 3>of especial they help mama and them her grand babies

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<v Speaker 3>all the odds or against you own. You don't ain't

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<v Speaker 3>nobody in your favor at all.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's especially her husband who should be.

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<v Speaker 4>He ain't the man.

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<v Speaker 3>He ain't the man he's supposed to be the man

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<v Speaker 3>you thought he was. So check out. I got no

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<v Speaker 3>jokes for you. Just check out. It's sometimes it's sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>it's all right to just leave it is. It didn't

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<v Speaker 3>it didn't work out. You ain't got no kids with him.

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<v Speaker 3>Get your bag and get on out of there and

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<v Speaker 3>get your own the house. All her stuff still in

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<v Speaker 3>the hut.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, we'll have part two of our responses to

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<v Speaker 1>today's Strawberry letter, I need to move out of their house.

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<v Speaker 2>Coming up.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll hear from Junior right after this. You're listening Steve

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<v Speaker 1>All right, we're going to recap today's strawberry letter. The

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<v Speaker 1>subject is I need to move out of their house.

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<v Speaker 1>A woman wrote in who's married to a guy whose

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<v Speaker 1>wife died eight years ago. She met the man two

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<v Speaker 1>years ago. She said, he's a sweetheart of a man.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a loving father. He has two daughters who are

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<v Speaker 1>seventeen and fourteen. He introduced her to the girls. She

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<v Speaker 1>fell in love with the girls because they were so

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<v Speaker 1>polite and well mannered, and she They told her that

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<v Speaker 1>they were happy that she got with their father. He's

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<v Speaker 1>never introduced a woman to them, and that she must

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<v Speaker 1>be special. So fast forward to three. That was in

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<v Speaker 1>the beginning. Then three months later they stopped speaking to

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<v Speaker 1>her whenever she goes over there. If she cooked for

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<v Speaker 1>their father, they wouldn't eat the meals. So they announced

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<v Speaker 1>they were getting married, and she wanted the girls. The

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<v Speaker 1>two girls, seventeen and fourteen year old girls to be

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<v Speaker 1>her bridesmaids. Well, the grandmother stepped in. Okay, the grandmother

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<v Speaker 1>stepped in. She called the woman. The fiance said it

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<v Speaker 1>was too soon for the granddaughters and she should wait

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<v Speaker 1>awhile until they got married. Well, the woman said, with

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<v Speaker 1>all due respect, you know, the dad, her fiance deserves

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<v Speaker 1>to be happy too. And after that, all heck broke loose.

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<v Speaker 1>The daughter stopped speaking to her. They didn't want to

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<v Speaker 1>be in the wedding. Everybody was supposed to wear pink.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't wear pink. I mean, it was just a

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<v Speaker 1>big mess.

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<v Speaker 2>And the father.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't wear pink. And the father, I think you

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<v Speaker 1>were right earlier when you said black. They probably wore

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<v Speaker 1>black or something red or something like that. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>the father has not come to his wife's defense at all.

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<v Speaker 1>The girls don't speak to the woman. She's rude. They're rude,

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<v Speaker 1>all of that. The grand I think it's the grandmother.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, Junior, what do you say, because she wants

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<v Speaker 1>to know what to do. She thinks she should just leave.

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<v Speaker 5>No you think, no, no, no, no, no, no, I

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<v Speaker 5>have to say this and this is you know, I

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<v Speaker 5>wouldn't leave. But let's be honest. Though people get remarried

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<v Speaker 5>all the time with children, they're not the first. People

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<v Speaker 5>get remarried with children all the time, they are not

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<v Speaker 5>the first. Now, I'm gonna tell you what I think

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<v Speaker 5>the problem is is when the father broke it down

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<v Speaker 5>to the girls that daddy's about to get remarried and

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<v Speaker 5>that could hurt them because their mother.

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<v Speaker 6>Has passed on.

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<v Speaker 5>But the father said, hey, it's been eight years, I've

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<v Speaker 5>been dating this woman for two years, and I'm just

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<v Speaker 5>gonna let y'all meet her. And then the last three

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<v Speaker 5>months they get upset. Okay, her the maternal grandmother's that

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<v Speaker 5>means the deceased mother.

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<v Speaker 6>Her mother called and told him and said, hey.

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<v Speaker 5>You're not going to take my girls through this because

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<v Speaker 5>you're defending your daughter.

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<v Speaker 6>You're defending your daughter's on that. I get that.

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<v Speaker 5>For eight years, who's been dead for eight years. I

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<v Speaker 5>get that. That's fine. You may you may be, you

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<v Speaker 5>may be grieving still. But this man does have a

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<v Speaker 5>right to happeness. He does have a right to this woman.

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<v Speaker 5>The woman did everything right.

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<v Speaker 6>She did invite them to be bride's maids. She did

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<v Speaker 6>everything she could possibly do.

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<v Speaker 5>She did say, with all due respect, this man deserves

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<v Speaker 5>to be happy and he should get married.

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<v Speaker 6>That's what we plan to do.

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<v Speaker 5>Now.

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<v Speaker 6>What happened to the days when kids didn't have rights

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<v Speaker 6>in houses. What happened to the day is when parents say, listen,

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<v Speaker 6>you may not like this, but this is what happened.

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<v Speaker 5>I give it perfect example when my mother got remarried.

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<v Speaker 5>When my mother got remarried, I didn't know if I

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<v Speaker 5>really like this guy.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, my mama told me that's not your decision.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, as long as I like him, I love him.

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<v Speaker 5>And I'm getting married, and you son are going to

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<v Speaker 5>be there to give me away. Now Here, I am

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<v Speaker 5>out in the fifth ward giving her way up under

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<v Speaker 5>the country with a train going by.

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<v Speaker 2>See, that's what I had to do.

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<v Speaker 7>What's that I'm fifth ward giving her way up under

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<v Speaker 7>the country where the train going about. We are gathering

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<v Speaker 7>here today, we just standing here by side.

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<v Speaker 6>I had to do this. I had no say so.

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<v Speaker 6>I didn't want her to marry that man. Stay where

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<v Speaker 6>the kids would feel that way.

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<v Speaker 5>But at the same time, the parents said, this is

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<v Speaker 5>what I'm going to do. And then yes, this is

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<v Speaker 5>gonna be your new step mother. Now we can work

0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:50.400
<v Speaker 5>on the relationship, but right now we're building the love.

0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:52.760
<v Speaker 5>This is what we chose to do. This is where

0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.880
<v Speaker 5>she's gonna be. Now, I know I'm gonna miss my

0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:58.640
<v Speaker 5>ex wife to no, no, not ex wife, my wood.

0:11:58.760 --> 0:11:59.560
<v Speaker 6>What do you call these people?

0:11:59.600 --> 0:11:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Now?

0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:04.720
<v Speaker 5>We don't widow? Yeah he's a widow. I'm gonna miss

0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:08.440
<v Speaker 5>my wife too. But now I got another chance. And

0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 5>why y'all want to take this from me? Now?

0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:13.120
<v Speaker 6>I know it's women, and yeah, Timmy, you're right, it

0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.960
<v Speaker 6>is his daughters. It's kind of hard with fathers and daughters.

0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:18.920
<v Speaker 5>You go out another woman that ain't your mama, that's

0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:19.840
<v Speaker 5>that's gonna be hard.

0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.120
<v Speaker 6>But he chose love, and I think he has a

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.160
<v Speaker 6>right to that. He has a right And I don't know.

0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:27.880
<v Speaker 5>I'm sorry. I don't think you should go nowhere. You

0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:30.880
<v Speaker 5>should build with that man. However y'all feel. Now, if

0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:32.559
<v Speaker 5>y'all decide to move into another house to make the

0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.760
<v Speaker 5>kids feel fun, y'all have that when we're gonna move

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.760
<v Speaker 5>over here, but we're gonna be together where we go,

0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:37.360
<v Speaker 5>that's all.

0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.960
<v Speaker 2>They can just have the house though at seventeen and fourtunes.

0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 6>Well, hey, you don't like my wife.

0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:50.199
<v Speaker 2>That's the problem. The grandmother is too involved in this situation.

0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 1>I believe she's the one that got into these girls

0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:55.960
<v Speaker 1>heads and poison them because they were so sweet and

0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 1>and kind at first.

0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.280
<v Speaker 2>I just believe that, you know, because.

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:01.640
<v Speaker 6>You said, I don't worry by the baby. I'm gonna

0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:04.480
<v Speaker 6>take care of these women. I'll talk to them, and

0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:05.600
<v Speaker 6>you gotta let her have that.

0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:09.880
<v Speaker 5>Yeah that is yeah, your mother in law. Hey, hey,

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.400
<v Speaker 5>she'll take care of that. Y'all still love each other.

0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:14.719
<v Speaker 5>Go ahead, I wouldn't worry about you said, matter of fact,

0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:16.679
<v Speaker 5>when your mam and dad y'all was young, y'all was

0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:17.440
<v Speaker 5>six and nine.

0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:22.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, now, y'all alutly they don't even remember. Yeah, a

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:23.280
<v Speaker 1>whole lot.

0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:25.520
<v Speaker 6>It's some things that happened you don't even know nothing about.

0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:29.080
<v Speaker 4>I don't think she can cook though, because they ain't

0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:30.480
<v Speaker 4>eating none of that. I don't think.

0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:31.240
<v Speaker 2>Because they're mean.

0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.439
<v Speaker 1>Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:40.080
<v Speaker 1>Steve Harvey FM, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast

0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.679
<v Speaker 1>on the free iHeartRadio app coming up next to his

0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:46.400
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