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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This Cold Stratton

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Speaker 1: here filling in for Kevin Pollock, who's directing a new

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Speaker 1: Garden Herb cooking competition the marvelous Mrs Basil. That will

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Speaker 1: be a lot of this. That's would be a lot

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Speaker 1: of it. It's it's New Year's Eve, so instead of

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Speaker 1: the usual garbage of weird questions that came up with,

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Speaker 1: I'd rather introduce the aucumists that go around and find

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Speaker 1: out what your new Year's resolutions are, and then a

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Speaker 1: year from now we can check in and see what happened.

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Speaker 1: So first up, Chris Alvarado, Hey, let's see. Well, I've

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Speaker 1: had a lot of time to think about this because

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Speaker 1: today's New Year's Eve, so tomorrow I should I should

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Speaker 1: be working on it. Um. I think it's going to

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Speaker 1: be a general umbrella type resolution with a lot of

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Speaker 1: little things underneath it. And I think the goal is

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Speaker 1: just to love myself more, because it turns out I'm

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Speaker 1: going to therapy and I have a lot of self

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Speaker 1: loathing and self I didn't know that though, I was

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Speaker 1: surprised to find that out and therapists here today. Wow,

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Speaker 1: So there you go, love myself a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: Vanessa Raglan let me fuck boys, not men, not man.

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Speaker 1: Go back down, make money boys. I think you have

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Speaker 1: your new T shirt design Hunter. Yes, that's the DYNA.

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Speaker 1: I don't like my That's not a resolution, that's a war. Craig,

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Speaker 1: are you gonna make money boys? I want to fun

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Speaker 1: boys to men. I've only got two of the four,

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Speaker 1: so I'm going to complete the quartet um. I also

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Speaker 1: want to to see Chris's therapist and get some bird

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Speaker 1: on Chris. That's Craig Atkowsky. By the way, I didn't

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Speaker 1: give his last name, could have been Craig Anton or something.

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Speaker 1: I I think that's another thing for I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: go by Craig as I think you know those one

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Speaker 1: name celebrities seem to do better biz James Haney uh

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Speaker 1: for this year coming up, I'd like next year. This.

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Speaker 1: This is my New Year's resolution starting tomorrow is going

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Speaker 1: to be to use more natural ingredients in your hands, browns,

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Speaker 1: just as many in as many things as possible. What

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Speaker 1: are the unnatural? What are you using? Well, you know

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'll break up some styrofoam to have fake snow

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Speaker 1: on the floor. You know those are ingredients, like do

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Speaker 1: I and I'm not saying I'm giving up hash browns.

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Speaker 1: But do I need to buy frozen premium hash browns?

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Speaker 1: Or could I just cut up a potato? Honey, you

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Speaker 1: are going to rue the day. I haven't made that

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Speaker 1: commitment yet. Have you decided to make hash browns from Scotch?

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Speaker 1: I wish I could take. I wish I could take.

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Speaker 1: How do you get them packed together? You're report. I

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Speaker 1: don't think they're going to be nearly You've grown a

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Speaker 1: customer too, sweet friends, No, it's way more expensive to

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Speaker 1: maybe Joey Greer. My new year's resolution is to finally

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Speaker 1: get the surgery to look exactly like James Keeney. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be a one for one copy allowed to

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Speaker 1: do that. The christam a lot. I'm American. I can

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Speaker 1: do whatever the hell I want. Yeah, but that's my likeness. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but only in real life. Have you copyrighted it? No?

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Speaker 1: But there you go. And I've already patented a lot

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Speaker 1: of the things he does. I didn't know you could. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Well there you go. So this has been fun guys, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think the podcast is over. This is what are

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Speaker 1: you doing? I'm gonna make boys and fun money. Nobody nobody,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, growth, I think I'm gonna work on saying

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Speaker 1: no more because I tend to say yes to everything

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Speaker 1: and a lot of things I don't want to do.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm like, why do I say yes to that?

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Speaker 1: And then I work myself crazy? Are you telling us

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Speaker 1: this is what I will always say? Yes? Um? All right, well,

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Speaker 1: we'd like to invite you all to become v i

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Speaker 1: P members on our new Patreon page. This bonus episode

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Speaker 1: is not available to non members as a phone number

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Speaker 1: just for v i p s, where you can leave

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Speaker 1: a message, be at a question and request whatever you want.

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Speaker 1: We'll reply at our new regular video Q and A

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Speaker 1: with the Alchemist at Kevin's Place, which are only available

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Speaker 1: to v i p s Because all kinds of cool ship,

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Speaker 1: So please join our super core fans by going to

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Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slash alchemy This. All of today's scene

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Speaker 1: suggestions were gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd like

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Speaker 1: to submit yours, please write to the podcast at your

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Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name

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Speaker 1: here for our first scene, Hi, Alchemists, it's Jason again,

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Speaker 1: the teacher from Australia who offered up the scene suggestion

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Speaker 1: child teacher versus adult students. I was excited to see

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Speaker 1: how you could interprop really mangle an innocent scene in

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Speaker 1: which you didn't disappoint. Well done. You all get a

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Speaker 1: gold star since you all can't help yourself to make

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Speaker 1: scenes inappropriate, Let's face it, I have another scene suggestion

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Speaker 1: to share here. It is a university professor is delivering

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Speaker 1: a lecture. Every time he goes to show the class

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Speaker 1: of video clip about the topic he's teaching, he accidentally

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Speaker 1: plays porn. However, instead of admitting he made a mistake,

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Speaker 1: he always attempts to explain why he showed them porn

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Speaker 1: on purpose and how it relates to what they're learning.

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Speaker 1: You're all amazing, Thanks for the laughs. I look forward

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Speaker 1: to many more years of alchemy. Jason Taylor a k

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Speaker 1: mr t PS. It is super exciting to hear Kevin

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Speaker 1: Pollock reads something I wrote. Although if it happens to

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Speaker 1: be Cold Stratton, that's cool too. I guess I'll google him.

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Speaker 1: After the episode, Kevin wrote that, Hey, I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to pay attention. Please, I need the notes. I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to pay attention. Do you guys keep it down? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to learn about the Renaissance. We all are.

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Speaker 1: I'm asking for notes that we want some notes on

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Speaker 1: the Renaissance. You're gonna you're gonna have to Renaissance. Okay,

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Speaker 1: question ye can we start there? Maybe the professor is

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Speaker 1: going to cover that. Okay, he's wearing a tie today,

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Speaker 1: A great. Please stop talking to me, Please stop. Don't

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Speaker 1: even trying to tell what we're friends are. Yes, I

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Speaker 1: was trailing off Renaissance. That's what we're all gonna talk

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Speaker 1: about today. Raise your hands if you know what the

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Speaker 1: Renaissance is you? Yeah, what's the Renaissance period in time? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Guys getting high fives? No, alright, so that was pretty good,

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Speaker 1: but it just kind of brings a box together. Okay,

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Speaker 1: hold on hold, I'm still praising another students generally correct answer.

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Speaker 1: Could you specify more what the Renaissance is? Yes, High

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Speaker 1: Professor Press Scott, thank you. I've been waiting three semesters

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Speaker 1: to take your class. It's hard to get into this class, really,

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Speaker 1: I know, I know what it's really excited to be here.

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Speaker 1: Renaissance is French for rebirth. Um, that sounds wrong. So

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Speaker 1: I did not learn French. I did not learn French.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds it sounds authentic. The good news for

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Speaker 1: you guys today is I have brought in from the

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Speaker 1: Renaissance VHS from the Renaissance. This no, no, this VHS

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Speaker 1: tape is going to teach you guys a lot about

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Speaker 1: the most important parts of the Renaissce movie. And it's

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Speaker 1: got a fantastic, fantastic host. You're gonna love it. Let's

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Speaker 1: just pop this in. And what she's showing a video

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Speaker 1: on the first day. You know, I'm a great professor. Okay, stop.

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Speaker 1: The Renaissance is the time when the world was looking

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Speaker 1: to do something. Okay, I gotta stop this. This is

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Speaker 1: the wrong tape. Right questions okay, question, question, This is

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Speaker 1: actually not an appropriate time. Question question, question question, okay,

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Speaker 1: yes you question. Is there any way I can to

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Speaker 1: barrow that video? Real quick? Huh, this is the incorrect video.

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Speaker 1: It's not gonna happens fine kind of video real quick? Please?

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Speaker 1: Please you you I saw something bad? Um? What did

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Speaker 1: you see? I don't want to say. You can whisper.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't know if it's it

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Speaker 1: sounds like it's pretty bad. And I'm the teacher. So

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Speaker 1: who somebody's gonna be the word question. It looks like

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Speaker 1: on that VHS that you taped over something else. Well,

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Speaker 1: sometimes what happens is I'll have the video of one

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Speaker 1: thing and I don't know what the problem is, maybe

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Speaker 1: the audio cables in the back around, but it'll get

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Speaker 1: the audio because there were clearly was a voice over

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Speaker 1: about the Renaissance, but then the images were hardcore pornography. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I let

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Speaker 1: my car got told and I just why are there

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Speaker 1: so many boners? What? Listen? Sit down in a seat. Uh, sorry,

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Speaker 1: you're late for classes. I don't know if you know,

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Speaker 1: but Professor Prescott does not does not accept you done

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Speaker 1: yourself in the third person? You pervert. Well I'm the pervert,

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Speaker 1: Professor Prescott. I'm sure there's a logical explanation. I said,

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Speaker 1: what we just saw. Surely you can justify that, justify

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Speaker 1: what we just saw. Yeah, how it actually was something

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Speaker 1: you meant to show us? Well, it was something I

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Speaker 1: meant to show you. Um, but the tape didn't have

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Speaker 1: the Wait wait what did I mean? What did I

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Speaker 1: play it again? Well? You know what you guys, you guys,

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Speaker 1: I just got this VHS from class. You got what

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Speaker 1: you got? Two vs? Just take you? Is it working?

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Speaker 1: A blue right? My heart? Are you got to check

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Speaker 1: this fist? Hold on? Hold on him? Great, tim, Actually

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Speaker 1: I think we should listen to him. I haven't seen

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Speaker 1: his take this hard in a very long time. You're

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Speaker 1: telling me this is from class him sus takes. Will

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Speaker 1: it work? And blue right? Jam it in? It's working.

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Speaker 1: There is the time. Stop stop stopping ship out? Man,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so hot and information by touch

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Speaker 1: a sharp part. Ship dude, this is good stuff. Where'd

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Speaker 1: you get it? This is the pure pier from Professor

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Speaker 1: Professor Prescott. Hey, should all join that class? Takes three

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Speaker 1: semesters to get it? Doesn't wait? Jump in a month

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Speaker 1: old didn't do anything to my dick. Maybe I need

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Speaker 1: to do some soul searching. Yeah, that makes sense. It's fine.

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Speaker 1: Whatever you're into is fine. Whatever you're into fine. Maybe

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Speaker 1: they'll show some other videos and you know, maybe something

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Speaker 1: will flow. Maybe you're not. Maybe you're a pen sexual.

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Speaker 1: What time period are you into? I really like the

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Speaker 1: Dark Ages and the Age of Enlightenment, Like are two

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Speaker 1: things I'm super into. Well, I mean, that's kind of

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Speaker 1: like the Age of enlightenment like restaurance. It's nearby, but

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Speaker 1: it's like so close, uh, Professor Prescott, question question, question down.

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Speaker 1: I know that last week class didn't go the way

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Speaker 1: that you wanted it to. Not missing one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite tapes. Oh really that tape from last week? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that student took it and never came back. That's one

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Speaker 1: of your favorite tips. Well, Professor Prescott, Yes, this is

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Speaker 1: the class. This is my class. Yeah, yeah, I can

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Speaker 1: smell the come over there and some people over there.

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Speaker 1: All right, okay, is there a life sex show going

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Speaker 1: on here this class? Listen, You've got to calm down.

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Speaker 1: You were in college, notre Do you think that high

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Speaker 1: school is the end of education? You're never said that.

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Speaker 1: The woman in the video looked sad. She's making happy noises,

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Speaker 1: but I saw her eyes and she looked really sad.

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Speaker 1: That's what we call in the renaissance, sad eyes. Guys.

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Speaker 1: Check it out. I look for its back. There's another

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Speaker 1: video in here. It ren assance too, ren ass sauce.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a blue ray? I got a game boy? Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: let's put it in there. We gotta take tutres out first,

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Speaker 1: Professor Prescott. I'm sorry, I didn't expect anybody to stay

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Speaker 1: after class. Um, well, I was pretending to be a student.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually you're much too whoa you? Anybody can go

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Speaker 1: to college, that's the I'm the dean. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: oh my. I was wearing this Nike baseball cap backwards

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Speaker 1: so you would recognize me. Look, I don't mind the

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Speaker 1: tapes you're playing. Frankly, what I not? What what do you?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean? You don't mind the sex tapes,

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Speaker 1: the Renaissance tapes ran ass aunts to ring a bell?

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's the sequel. Yeah, okay. What I do mind

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Speaker 1: is how you can't seem to get your class under control.

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Speaker 1: If you're going to teach this class. I need you

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Speaker 1: to teach this class. I don't care if there's boobs.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if there's sad eyes. But you need

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Speaker 1: to be in control, you understand. I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: Actually I don't have a boner. Could okay? Well another drink, professor, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: another drink. I don't know. I feel like I might

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Speaker 1: just quit. Yeah, that's an option, you know, there's always

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Speaker 1: that option. It's just that nobody cares about education anymore.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to honey, I love education. I'm a professor.

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Speaker 1: I'm a professor to what because you've never seen are

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Speaker 1: your professor? What I teach math? I teach rem assence.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'm putting you guys off from another way

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Speaker 1: to get me. Guess what I do you get? I

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Speaker 1: said how economics is stupid? Missa bitch? Sorry you said math.

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Speaker 1: So I hadn't I thought that I was in the

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Speaker 1: game to say something really bad. You wouldn't look over there.

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Speaker 1: Those are the professors. The professors. Wow, yeah, that's the

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Speaker 1: one who brings his sex tapes in. And that lady

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Speaker 1: over there, she teaches astrophysics. But dude, she has a

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Speaker 1: saying like everybody knows it. Do you know what you're saying?

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Speaker 1: Tell me trow film my tip? Oh that's you know

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Speaker 1: what that's always interested me. If I was in the science,

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Speaker 1: why did you do these little fingers are a pair

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Speaker 1: of legs and they walking Look here in their own

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Speaker 1: good professor, as if we went to this tranquilizer bar,

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Speaker 1: you know the spots. By the way, her saying is

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Speaker 1: make money fun boys, which is like, look, you and

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Speaker 1: I are men. Now I've been sitting here for what

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Speaker 1: she hasn't said that once. Well, watch this, so you

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Speaker 1: got a little drule sicle coming down. Sorry, let me

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Speaker 1: wipe that offensive the tranquilizers. I don't usually do these.

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Speaker 1: Oh I do, yeah, work, it makes my brain go crazy.

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Speaker 1: I relax sometimes. You know what I've always been confused

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Speaker 1: about with astrophysics? You tell me about the black hole?

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Speaker 1: O contray? You try? Okay? Do you know what als

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Speaker 1: been confused better than okay? A really easily? It means

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Speaker 1: rebirth the French. Wow, guys, just the finals. I can't

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Speaker 1: get those notes? Look, no, okay, you get after class?

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Speaker 1: All right? Please please let me focus. Can you guys

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Speaker 1: keep it down? You're obviously cheating or no, I'm asking

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Speaker 1: for talking, do you guys? I realized what the professor

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Speaker 1: has been doing this whole time, whispered to us. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the feature has been using pornography to try to show

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Speaker 1: us how sensational the actual You have a problem with

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Speaker 1: information then, like you have a problem like hearing things,

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Speaker 1: and like you just need to say it's slower, you know,

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Speaker 1: like you thank you, like you just can't. Why don't

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Speaker 1: you take what do you hear what I'm saying? Nudity

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Speaker 1: then was shocking, right? The human body was shocking. He's

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Speaker 1: shocking us now he's been teaching us brilliant. He's so brilliant.

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Speaker 1: And her eyes were sad because that's how paintings are.

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Speaker 1: So you justified all this. I'm glad someone did. I

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Speaker 1: didn't get a thing she said, though, Did you take

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Speaker 1: notes on that? I take notes on what she said talking? Well,

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Speaker 1: here he comes a whoa? Everybody okay in here, Professor Prescott,

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Speaker 1: Why are you nude? Oh? Ship ship I'll be right back. No,

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Speaker 1: just kidding. It was part of the class. Let's show

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Speaker 1: some solidarity. Let's standards. This is going to be surprised.

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Speaker 1: Stand on our dick, Yeah, you're standing on mine? Who stick?

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Speaker 1: Do I stand? You choose? Seeing right here? This is amazing.

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Speaker 1: I all I wanted to do is show you how

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Speaker 1: shocking the renaissance was, and I am shocked. Let me

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Speaker 1: just show you the brain. Everybody in class gets me

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Speaker 1: when I fuck boy who it's perfect. They made money

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Speaker 1: and they fucked boys. The end was that Morgan Freeman,

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Speaker 1: Get busy, Dicken, get busy diving seen number two Gratings.

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Speaker 1: Alchemists love the show. You're all hilarious, especially Vanessa and

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Speaker 1: her gruff. Llillary characters new phone. I love her because

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Speaker 1: I think I know her from somewhere. I worked the

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Speaker 1: night shift in a nursing home. That's rewarding work, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes feels like I'm taking care of sixty Marvin mcughs.

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Speaker 1: And while back, one of our while back, one of

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Speaker 1: our residents, who was an actor with a few bit

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Speaker 1: parts and TV shows in the seventies, hasted away. He

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Speaker 1: had no family, and when we were packing his belonging

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Speaker 1: as we found a box with hundreds of unsigned black

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Speaker 1: and white head shots ready for autographs that will never

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Speaker 1: be given. Kind of sad, but it gives me a

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Speaker 1: great idea for a seat Hollywood nursing home with third

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Speaker 1: rate celebrities. Thanks for keeping me awake through the long nights, Sincerely, Gustavo.

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Speaker 1: Lights out, Lights down, twenty minutes. Do you mean do

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Speaker 1: you mean that went on shooting today? Are we done shooting?

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Speaker 1: Is that a rap for the day? That's what I

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Speaker 1: was looking for? Twenty minutes to lights Oh, yes, thank you,

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Speaker 1: welcome Hey Steve, Yeah, we talked to you, man um.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, what if we stopped pushing against these

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Speaker 1: guys switch blade? Excuse me, excuse me? Were crafty. The

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Speaker 1: cafters closed right now, gladys my linning going to need

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Speaker 1: something before we wrap for the day. I can bring

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Speaker 1: you some yogurt if you'd like. My trailer never showed up,

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Speaker 1: never showed up. Fix that in the morning. Showed up.

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Speaker 1: We'll fix that in the morning. You get on my

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Speaker 1: breast in the I'm so sorry, I'm well, I wander

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Speaker 1: over here. All right, I'm saying, you're so sorry, so

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Speaker 1: I'll put the knife away. You. You're so good at

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Speaker 1: dealing with him, like you really are good. You know,

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Speaker 1: I I them, I pushed them around. Yeah, you're violent.

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Speaker 1: But here's here's what I'm thinking. What if what if

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Speaker 1: we did make a movie? What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: You know? What if we are you talking about using

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Speaker 1: this old talent right here? Yeah? I didn't get a

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Speaker 1: call sheet for tomorrow. There you'll be woken up at

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Speaker 1: six am with a call sheet. Six am, wake up,

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Speaker 1: six am, wake up, and then we'll come having had yeah,

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Speaker 1: come having had yeah, and then we'll get you at six.

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Speaker 1: We'll get you at six. Okay, why don't we sounds

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Speaker 1: going to shoot up my alarm? What are you talking

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Speaker 1: about that? They don't know? What the hell the doing

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Speaker 1: anymore they do question. I'm sorry interrupted, I know, especially

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Speaker 1: the directory a bit psificity, but will heron make a

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Speaker 1: big providing hair to come to my attention? I do

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Speaker 1: not he pulling your hair on? Hair out? Okay, glad

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Speaker 1: to stop stop pulling your hair out, makeup. We will

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Speaker 1: get you hair. I'm sorry. I'm not sure which pages

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Speaker 1: were using, the Golden Rod ones or the Salmon ones.

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Speaker 1: I don't know where we are on the draft either

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Speaker 1: Napkin either Napkin Sern. Okay, what do you think? I think? Actually,

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Speaker 1: you know this is a good idea. We can make

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Speaker 1: a ship on the money. I'm sticking tired of being

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Speaker 1: work in a nursing home. You know you say this

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Speaker 1: every night? Well because I'm a five fucking hand dude.

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Speaker 1: I wish I was taking care of younger people, but

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Speaker 1: it's just so old. Look, Elliott, do want to run lines? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead? Okay, all right, Hi, how are you hi?

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Speaker 1: How are you hi? How are you hill? I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: you guys have the golden pageson? Ok strange? All right, Hi?

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having us ahead of Fox. Please sit down.

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Speaker 1: I don't get a lot of time, so uh okay,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to start this time or on my desk,

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Speaker 1: uh and go pitch, pitch its two hour clock you

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Speaker 1: have going there, You've got two hours starting now, all right,

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Speaker 1: we'll prove it. Start talking. We have a we have

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Speaker 1: a actor's home and wow, that that we think would

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Speaker 1: be fantastic to film a feature. He's using them. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's it. We just need money, equipment, crew, crew.

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Speaker 1: You're telling me that you've got actors in at home

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Speaker 1: and all you need is money, equipment of crew, and

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Speaker 1: that's it. Yeah, we think we can do this. We've

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Speaker 1: laid out our budget here. We need uty million dollars.

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Speaker 1: Two thirty million dollars. Happy to adjust, we can do more, alright, No,

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Speaker 1: two million dollars. But it's gonna mean you have a

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Speaker 1: tight time budget. I need something time budget, tight time budget. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're going to give you a loose budget for money.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna need a tight time budget. What are you

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Speaker 1: doing in my office? Sorry? Sorry, I was just straightening

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Speaker 1: this out and now everything on your desk is cleaned.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead? Is this I just I didn't mean it.

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Speaker 1: I must have bunched it with my on What the

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Speaker 1: fun is going on? I'm sorry? We were here to

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Speaker 1: mean with the head of Fox, the head of fix this.

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Speaker 1: This woman was still a man. No, he didn't even

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Speaker 1: tell us a name. We said the head of who

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Speaker 1: it is? He started the timer. Yeah, You've been sadly

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Speaker 1: misled by a pervert. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

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Speaker 1: I got busted. Get back to video village. I'll be back.

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Speaker 1: So you're going to keep as a high Listen. This

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Speaker 1: city is built on bricks of sin and I can't

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Speaker 1: change that in a day. How can I help you? Boys? Well,

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Speaker 1: we were just discussing with down, but we have a movie.

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Speaker 1: We have actor is no one Donna Ship You never

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Speaker 1: met Donna. I never want to hear his name again.

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Speaker 1: Starting the time and now go another two hours. Um

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Speaker 1: we we uh, we have we have at home with

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Speaker 1: actors and we want to film a feature with them.

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Speaker 1: We need we just need a budgets. The hook is

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Speaker 1: um um, the hook is U there. So they were

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Speaker 1: third rate actors. We know that they were yes one

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Speaker 1: to three and this is their comeback story exactly right

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Speaker 1: right before they die. Have you seen have you seen

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Speaker 1: us the penguins? Uh? Yeah, yeah, what what's the one?

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Speaker 1: The one millions? But it's gonna be a tight time budget.

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Speaker 1: What is the tight time? What million? Come back? And

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Speaker 1: we were actually convers though the story is basically our

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Speaker 1: story of us, Henry, Henry. Listen to me, Henry, look

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Speaker 1: at me. You run at that wall and you break

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Speaker 1: through the wall. Okay, all right, that's what you're doing now.

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Speaker 1: I had a night with Jeane Kelly. Sit down, all right.

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Speaker 1: Can we make sure she's not singing? It's bleeding through

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Speaker 1: her through the wall. Oh my god, can you let

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Speaker 1: us out of here? Please? Side effects man include drowsiness, dizziness,

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Speaker 1: and stop reading the bottle. I'm going I'm reading my life.

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Speaker 1: Please stop reading the Excuse me. I'm here to see

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Speaker 1: my my father. Who is this guy? Does he is Jerry?

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Speaker 1: I'm just my dad lives here, so I'm it's a closer.

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Speaker 1: It's a fox that you can't I didn't know anything

397
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Speaker 1: about this being a second on the ground. Who are

398
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Speaker 1: you let my name is? My name is Fred? I said?

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Speaker 1: He right, you're pity my back. We'll find it with defeat.

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Speaker 1: Grab your jacket, alright, pull it out, okay, sandals, alright, actors.

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Speaker 1: As your director, I want to have one quick conversation

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Speaker 1: before we continue alright, actor, what are you doing in there?

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have a quick conversation with him. What

404
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: the hell is this? It was a whole meeting and

405
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Speaker 1: I'm not invited. No, you're of course you're invited. I

406
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: just stumbled onto it. What's going on here? Is this

407
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Speaker 1: a three picture to you? Gladys? What's going on? There's

408
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: we're taking a new direction? Oh wow, Wow, you're still involved.

409
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Speaker 1: You're boxing me out. There's no, you're still involved. You're

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Speaker 1: trying to kill me. What this is this? Well, that's

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Speaker 1: kind of I need to bind my breast to play younger, Gladys. Jerry,

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Speaker 1: am I possibly recurring? Well, the short answer that is no,

413
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Speaker 1: because here's what we're asking, glad it's not buying them

414
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Speaker 1: like straight up, she's binding them straight out. She's clean

415
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Speaker 1: to sixteen. Now I have new pages for your knowledge.

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Speaker 1: The last page, as you'll see, has all of you

417
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: taking all of your pills at once. What is this

418
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: you telling about suicide? I'm giving them an opportunity to

419
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: live forever. Oh no, are we making another snuff film?

420
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: You made a snuff film with him? That was happening

421
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: my phone. That was happening my phone weekend. I leave

422
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: a weekend, I leave you make a snuff film. That's

423
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: how Jerry went. His son's in the lobby. I don't

424
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: know what to say to Jerry's dead time day twinkles

425
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: for that. Tell me what you think you're going in

426
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: this goddamn studio, my dad. It's the holiday season. I

427
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: just figured it was a good time to come on

428
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: in and bring there's long time silvers in the back

429
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 1: over there. We're just gonna have dinner. Oh that cold

430
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: bag there's was it cold when I arrived? Yeah? People

431
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,959
Speaker 1: can make me sick, all right, people like he sick? Right, bro,

432
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: chuck it out. I got this VHS. Apparently they shot

433
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: it here last week. Oh yeah, are you gonna like this?

434
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: A little treat for you, a little reprieve. I'm sorry, Jerry.

435
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to do this. You gotta you gotta

436
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: take all of them, stop talking to take out. The

437
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:26,160
Speaker 1: side effects may include vertigo, cancer and lab mice. Holy ship,

438
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: this is really yep. She's in the shot. The booms

439
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: in the shot as well. Everything. I don't feel nothing.

440
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: I don't know what you guys. You were putting pills

441
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: in my dad's mouth. I didn't do that. That was

442
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: another guy, you know that. I want to I want

443
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: to talk to the cops. I'm calling the cops. What

444
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 1: I'm a cop? Okay, I just saw a video. They

445
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: were forcually a security guard. But we have a lot

446
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 1: in common. I learned a lot of the same stuff.

447
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: So I think you'll find me f FBI. Your FBI.

448
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a security officer here, but you know

449
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 1: he's FBI. I'm just screezed. I gotta leave. I have

450
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: to go to the real authorities. I'm not getting you

451
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: out of you already saw it happened on this so

452
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: we're not gonna have you sell it over to paramount.

453
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: And I got heart of the FBI on this one. Please.

454
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: My father was a good man and I a decent

455
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 1: person to just left me your father cold long John

456
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: Silva when I got here, Who is your dad? Jerry?

457
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: The guy that had the pills throw down his throat?

458
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't Why would you show me that? We

459
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: didn't know? Why? What were the oppost that was the movie?

460
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: I can't tell to you. Yeah, we used his body

461
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 1: as like just like a throw pillow for the other scenes.

462
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: Oh that, I mean, we desecreated that corpse. It was not.

463
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: I don't think that's going to come down on me, right,

464
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. I'm just telling you. So the Jerry's

465
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 1: tape didn't test well with the target audience. Yeah, his

466
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 1: son gave it a really low review. Okay, okay, So

467
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: you want me to see, Hey, what's going on in here?

468
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: What's up? What's going on? To send me a quick conversation.

469
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: What's going on? You going over atlytics without me? This

470
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: is the studio? What's what's my motivation in this scene? Well,

471
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 1: it depends are we going to keep going the way?

472
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: This is what I don't know. I mean, it tested

473
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: poorly and that was a pill ending, So maybe we

474
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 1: need to rethink how this other one ends. Any thoughts,

475
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: It's just a Jerry video. Yeah, people didn't like it,

476
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: did not test well. They didn't laugh. Now if you need,

477
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: if you need to kill me, I'm up for it. Okay.

478
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's this is good. This is good. Okay.

479
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: I think pills are the expected way for these guys.

480
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: I think we need to do some little out of

481
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: left dogs dogs we just unleash, won't I won't work

482
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: with dogs, never work with children around animals. W c

483
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: fields well before we get to the death scene. Unfortunately,

484
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: we have to get to the gladdys love making scene.

485
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: We have to, we have to she binded her boobs

486
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: and everything. Who cares? Who cares, that's her choice. Don't

487
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 1: need to do. She kept pressing us for the scenes

488
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: that I am just a stunt cock for you. No, no, no, no, no, no,

489
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 1: not at all. Are you making the love No? You are? You?

490
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: I am you are? But that's gonna be so sick

491
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 1: and no one to go ahead, get it shot and

492
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 1: then I'll test it with her children. Okay, that sounds great,

493
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: all right, you two. You know the setting. You do

494
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 1: like me to do a little baby girl voice? Uh?

495
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: What the funk was that? What the fuck was that?

496
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: You told us you had news about our mother? Is

497
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 1: this so okay? Really quick? We paid fifty dollars a

498
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: year for this? Three? How likely are you to recommend

499
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 1: this film? You know? Zero? Zero zero, I'm not going

500
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: to recommend anyone. I want to make sure you understand.

501
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: Can't see those images. Zero is not like at all likely.

502
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 1: One is somewhat like is perhaps, three is likely is

503
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: probably so so zero so um it did not resonate

504
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: in the way that we helped it would what's going on?

505
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: Just having me? I told you to kill me and

506
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: you didn't do it without the coffees. I have correct

507
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: the code run binding breasts. Okay, I was doing it wrong.

508
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 1: It's come to my attention. You don't get them as

509
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: a stock. You go around the robin, not individually at

510
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: the stock. Yeah, they did say my mom's breast look mangled.

511
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: That was a comment, okay, that they had them filled

512
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: things out. I mean they did give feedback, it just

513
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: was not positive. So what are we missing here? What

514
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: is the student of want? I think they want dogs

515
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: running through the finished I thought attacking the elderly. I

516
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: doesn't want to work with dogs. Can't you add them

517
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: with c G I you've got a hundred million dollar budget,

518
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: not anymore. I just find out about the budget. I

519
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: I overhear things, you know, I read the trades. Gardless,

520
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: you have to shoot it today. We are on a

521
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: tight time budget. Why didn't you tell us hold on,

522
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: we haven't started. You can't just cap dance, take your

523
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 1: clothes trying to get it up here? All right, we're

524
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: not doing another sex thing. We're not doing another dogs.

525
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: Welcome to your ren assance. So we have some reships.

526
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: We'd like you guys to take a look at I

527
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: think your mom is much better than this. No, what

528
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: are you talking about? Just take a look. It's I

529
00:33:56,080 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: think it's pretty good. Plus there's some unexpected animal work here.

530
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: It is I have a mad little penis to whooped quick?

531
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: What is my mom? Same? Oh my god? Those doctor

532
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,760
Speaker 1: just killing everybody? What the fun is this? So um?

533
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 1: It actually got slightly better marks. I was just on

534
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: the phone with everyone of the two pizza. What is this? Oh,

535
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: we're just kill me, Please kill me. This body is desecrated.

536
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: I'm still alive. I thought we were using It was

537
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 1: like a throw pillow with the other body. Look, look,

538
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: I don't know why you're having a meeting without me. Okay,

539
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: very disrespectful, and you just gotta wait. Okay, we're gonna

540
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: use you soon. Okay, I'm number one on the coach.

541
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 1: You are? You are? Can we check on Gladys she passed?

542
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: Man can check on the state of her body when

543
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: he reshoots. You're gonna you're gonna pump at her. Yeah,

544
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to tie strings to her wrists and

545
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: make her do that scene again and that's when Weekend

546
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: at Bernese three became the hottest settling film of all time,

547
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: staring Gladys. Unfortunately she didn't survive the film, but we

548
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 1: all knew that, didn't we She's a star at the

549
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 1: end of it. That's the most important things wanted. Scene

550
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: three our final scene today. Hey guys, I've been listening

551
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 1: since the beginning and I've loved every second of it.

552
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,839
Speaker 1: Thanks for bringing more laughter into the world. I'm from

553
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: Kentucky and I've recently gotten married in Hawaii to an

554
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,399
Speaker 1: Australian man whom I met online, and now we're living

555
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 1: in rural Victoria, Australia. I love to hear any aspect

556
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: of that from your magical minds. The k Y meets

557
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: Australian online, the marriage in Hawaii, the Kentucky and living

558
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 1: in rural Australia. I know you'll have fun with it.

559
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 1: Thanks for the last Shelby. It'll be um sixteen two,

560
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 1: It'll be sixteen Daddy Day can't help, but I can't help.

561
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 1: But notice you sound like a sophisticated guy. Here's your

562
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: seventeen dollars and you can keep the change. Um, But

563
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 1: my my my wife and I have a daughter that

564
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: we just can't. He's a line. What's that? There's a

565
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: line behind you? Tell him about her? Well, my daughter really,

566
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: it's just been hard for her in the dating to you.

567
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: Here's her picture. She's a beautiful girl. She won four pageants,

568
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: she's got all her teeth, her shots, her up to date,

569
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:39,439
Speaker 1: and she's looking to Mary and after my reach. Hey,

570
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: I just need to sell. I need to make this

571
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 1: deal right now. We've got a sophisticated man here. You're

572
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: looking at give me a daughter? Is he right? Well,

573
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: I'll not give it to not it behind you, just

574
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 1: move out of the way. I don't know what you're offering.

575
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 1: Movie alright you never mind? Never here, it got weird.

576
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna slipper picture over here with her number on

577
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: the back. Basically, it's a visa situation. We've got ourselves

578
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: in a pickle. Daddy and I can't help. We gotta

579
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: get out of here. Maybe there's something you can do

580
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: by bye. Alright, it'll be um, mommy, daddy and he

581
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: take us. I want to get out there and make money.

582
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: Fun boys, So what do you guy for me? Is

583
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: it going well? We met this well? Guy, very well, guy,

584
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: Rubop at Rubop, that restaurant, Rubop. That's readion all. You know.

585
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 1: We were at Rubop getting here. Oh no no, whenever

586
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: the door doalks, I'm so sed. I'll get it. I'll

587
00:37:56,719 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 1: get it, I'll get it. Hello, Australian slide department, No

588
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,280
Speaker 1: money test in heaven, Australian season sheep, you'll be short

589
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 1: made shetally. I'm gonna have to be married, he Mary

590
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 1: Newnausy almost um soon, I think, thank you, I'm gonna

591
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 1: get out of here. You're a sign um yea almost trying.

592
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 1: Then I am Australian night, I'm not Kentuckian marl. Let

593
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: me see some more day right then, let me pull

594
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: it out to me purse. Oh god, Cockney. And that

595
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,959
Speaker 1: is the wonderful story of how these two lovers met.

596
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 1: We are now gathered here in Hawaii. Hello. That was

597
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: one confusing story. Was confusing. I don't understand. You know,

598
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: she married the guy that killed her parents. That's insane.

599
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to watch the wedding. I understand. We're trying

600
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 1: to get everything strange matter to fucking wedding. It doesn't

601
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: matter because I'm just trying to connect everything that was happening.

602
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: Mptions if you flipped an invite under my hotel door,

603
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 1: they have a pa. And we end this ceremony with

604
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: howaii insane of Merry Christmas, which is malakaliki Marca, Merry Christmas, everybody,

605
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 1: every joint in Christmas. This is the couple's first dance.

606
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: All right, can I get you a cocktail? Cocktail for

607
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 1: the fret of the wedding? Yeah, I would love a cocktail?

608
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: Oh the bride? Yeah, hello, we have a special cocktail

609
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 1: for you, just for you. I wonder if it sounded nefarious,

610
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 1: it's not. It's so we we You requested just a

611
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: rum cocktail, so I have your rum cocktail. Than gi.

612
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: This is a delicious is my tie? It's delicious? This

613
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 1: is this has been such a wonderful agulation to the bride.

614
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much. I'm sorry about your father.

615
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 1: I know me and your mom. I guess did past Yeah,

616
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: well you know it was sad, but you know you

617
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: can't help you. You You love and I am in love

618
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: with my guy. Why did your get so big and

619
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 1: scared when you said that? Because I'm super in love.

620
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: Oh you're breaking the glass. Hey, everybody, the groom is

621
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: gonna make a speech. The groom is going to make

622
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: a speech, So let's to write our attention to the groom.

623
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: They separated us, they told us to go out, and

624
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 1: then that those that come back as the grooms. Why

625
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: don't they just give the speeches in order? And yeah,

626
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: quick side note, m our groom obviously has an accent.

627
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 1: Uh it's a really really good accent. So if you

628
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: can't understand it for some reason, that notes will be

629
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: passed out to each table so you can follow along.

630
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,280
Speaker 1: All right, you know, so he humped a pre written

631
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: speech and lady and gentlemen the groom alright, alright, everybody,

632
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: And I was trying to avoid to speak in the wedding.

633
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: Not my idea of the good time. So I just

634
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 1: want to talk about how I met my sweet, sweet

635
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 1: baby love. And I don't think that because they had

636
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: the newspaper article with his picture, that's not him. He

637
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: looked like that guy. So what happens is in my contray.

638
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,720
Speaker 1: But they don't have agent Thompson needs you to pose

639
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 1: as the as the groom. Okay, what do you mean,

640
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: isn't the real groom there? We're we're good at what

641
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 1: you need to go we'll detain him. Somebody's gonna do makeup.

642
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 1: I need to go in. You need you to find

643
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,240
Speaker 1: out exactly what happened with that. It was never solved,

644
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 1: so you know, get the bride to say something to

645
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 1: the makeup chair. We're gonna make you look very Australia, right, okay,

646
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: so you look right now, you look totally American. I

647
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 1: haven't changed in a while. Um, so you look like

648
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,479
Speaker 1: an Australian. Um. Have you worked with a dialect coach?

649
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: Could you help me out? Please? All right? Let me

650
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: die coach and will help you out? All right? Please?

651
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: Are you a tranquilizers? I had a tranquilizer. I'm not

652
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 1: on tranquilizer. Well, actually, we're gonna ask you to be

653
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 1: on more tranquilardge. It's gonna help you get into the group. Okay.

654
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 1: I usually do that when I have any situations sniping,

655
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that. Yeah, all right, do me

656
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: a favor, right, goad this? Say this? Oh all right now,

657
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 1: say well I want that banana? All right, I don't

658
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: know what you made it sound different than I did.

659
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 1: All right, excuse me, agent, We need you back in

660
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: the makeup trailer. They made you up like an Aboriginal Australia.

661
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 1: That was just a terrible mistake on our part. Welcome back. Sorry,

662
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 1: that was my bad little time. So I didn't know

663
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: which part of Australia they were, Okay, I didn't know.

664
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: It's a little can you help me with my accent?

665
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 1: All right? So say this for me to say this

666
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 1: to me, my hands clap, My hands clap, now say

667
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 1: it like me, my hands clap. Are you doing it?

668
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 1: You don't sound Australia. I don't need to, Okay, my

669
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: hands clap, all right, say this. I'm in Australia right now.

670
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,480
Speaker 1: I mean Australia right now. To say this alright? The

671
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: hell God is a little loud, but just listen up.

672
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 1: Operation groom is a go. Operation groom is apation. What's

673
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 1: the one group? Operation groom not room? No, no, no.

674
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: That was the weirdest fucking speech from the chroom. And

675
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: I cannot be the only one freaking out, but I'm

676
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: freaking out. I'm freaking out as well. I shouldn't come down.

677
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 1: I thought the hotel was putting on a thing. I mean, like,

678
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: what else is What's what's happening? What's actually happening? Honestly,

679
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 1: I have no idea and I'm freaked out of my ask.

680
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 1: You know what, it reminds me of Operation Dumbo. Drop

681
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: the movie with Billy Crystal. Love that movie. I love

682
00:43:54,200 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 1: that movie. Eyes A speech from the bride again. Hey y'all,

683
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 1: second time's charm um been magical. Um, I just have

684
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: loved having y'all here, and I'm just so excited to

685
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:18,760
Speaker 1: be scared. I'm super happy. I'm super happy, I'm super

686
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: love and um I did. I'm so happy y'all here,

687
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,760
Speaker 1: and I'm so happy all be going back to the States. Agent.

688
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:30,760
Speaker 1: Now was the time. Now was the time. I already

689
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,959
Speaker 1: gave a speech to the fantastical because she does seem

690
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: legitimately happy. I've never seen her so happy. I don't

691
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 1: know where I got this from the hotel they slipped.

692
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 1: I don't like I'm not. I was wondering if you

693
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 1: were from the Kentucky side of the Australian side. I'm

694
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: from the Kentucky said, don't know, but I don't think

695
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:50,240
Speaker 1: I'm related to her. I'm just from Kentucky. I'm from Chicago.

696
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 1: I just came out here the wife from vacation and

697
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 1: now my sweet sweet husband, who I certainly who love.

698
00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: We'll have to play the traditional song on the digit

699
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:04,800
Speaker 1: redo to submit our union, or I'm just gonna put

700
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 1: us up to my mouth and I'm gonna is this

701
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: not the here we go? It looks like somebody soda

702
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: marsupial pouch under his stomach. Oh my god. Oh it's

703
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 1: a box job. It looks infecting the ship. I don't know.

704
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 1: I think he looks pretty. That's so fu up. Actually,

705
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 1: the mully due playing, and I'm gonna take my wife

706
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 1: with me and gonna call the marriage and then we'll

707
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 1: be say that he's gonna here out of here. I

708
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 1: don't know you have your attention. We are now going

709
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 1: to watch the briden room, get into the glassroom the

710
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 1: marriage before you. I got I gotta behind us. You

711
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: don't need to alright now that we're alone, I gotta

712
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,879
Speaker 1: tell you the truth. I'm not who you think I am.

713
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 1: I know that you know I'm not your husband. It's

714
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 1: super obvious. I hope he took him somewhere and killed

715
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 1: the funk out of him. He's a monster. I don't

716
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 1: want to be with him right now. I know everybody

717
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: can see us having this conversation. He's got a gun

718
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 1: in them. Our supio pouts ship. We gotta do something.

719
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 1: Just thought there would be like apps being passed around.

720
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 1: This is gonna be a snuffing. He killed her folks.

721
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: He's stuff. It's it's it's like a it's like cocaine.

722
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: It's like not really, but it's like that. It's also

723
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 1: like a snuff is like a silence of killed. I'm

724
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: gonna kill you. It's not. Okay, everybody. We now need

725
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: all the guests to line up in three lines. We

726
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: need the Kentucky side to watch the glass room consummation

727
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 1: from this side. What if you're from Kentucky but you're not.

728
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: You don't you don't got no ties. Well, let me

729
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 1: just finish the three options here Kentucky's line over here,

730
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: Australian saide over here, and members and guests of the

731
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: hotel right here. But I am from Kentucky. Man, you

732
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 1: can stay, you can stand in between both. Okay, that

733
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 1: makes four lines. This thing is a ship show. When

734
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: does the pig ROAs start? Um? As soon as um

735
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: the red cloth is past. You haven't started the pig roast?

736
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: Does it take hours? I want you talking about you

737
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 1: haven't started the pig roast. Well, if we have any volunteers,

738
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 1: you want to dig a pit and I don't want

739
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: to take a pi' goddamn kiss here, sir, are you

740
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: on the Kentucky side Australian side for Chicago? You can

741
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: get behind me because I'm starting on the thing. Look,

742
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: I came to this. There's gonna be free food, free,

743
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 1: there will, yes, there will. We have to dig a

744
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 1: pit for a pig. Well, first you need to kill

745
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 1: the pig. God, oh my god, melick everyone alright, So

746
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: I want you to hold this gun and once we

747
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 1: get out of here, we're just gonna have to escape

748
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 1: because if I'm incorrect, tell me. But you were stuck

749
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 1: in Australia. You need it out that what happened, and

750
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: we did it through marriage. I'm lost. I didn't get

751
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 1: enough time with Mike. I'm sorry. Did did y'all get

752
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: brief before you went on? A minute? Chopper was loud,

753
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 1: the choppers coming in. We gotta go, we gotta go,

754
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 1: come on out. All right, let's let's drop the elephant.

755
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: What going on? What the god? And laid it on

756
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:24,399
Speaker 1: the glass room before shards of elephant hair. God, Oh

757
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: my fucking god, Oh my god, and cut. That's a

758
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,839
Speaker 1: wrap everyone. I think we've got it. I think we've

759
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: got it. What do you mean we don't have it

760
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 1: until I focus group it. Okay, yes, so let me

761
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 1: go take it to the elephant's former owners and see

762
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: what they think. Okay, great, Oh my god, what did

763
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 1: you do to our elephant? No? What we load you

764
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 1: that elephant for a week of shooting. Oh she was

765
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 1: so so sweet? Why did you do this? Billy Crystal movie?

766
00:48:55,880 --> 00:49:00,399
Speaker 1: Double drop? He's not involved at all, Billy Griss, it's

767
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: not Billy Crystal. Why don't we let these howlings come

768
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: to our island? No? No, no, you sick? You sick? Sick? Sick?

769
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 1: Are you somewhat likely? Likely? Zero? Zero zero? And just

770
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: doing my job? Okay? Yeah, and you just killed our

771
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,360
Speaker 1: job alright. And our family member she was a family member.

772
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,800
Speaker 1: Part well, you know, if you gave it better reviews,

773
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 1: we wouldn't cut the elephant out. But I don't think

774
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,839
Speaker 1: that her death was a vain so you know that's

775
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 1: would give it better reviews for you. If it's the

776
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 1: focus group, well, obviously they're gonna reshoot. We're gonna kill

777
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 1: another elephant or some other animals. So that's on you. Guys.

778
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: All right, you could have recommended it, but you didn't

779
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 1: take this data back and whatever happens happens. Okay, that's

780
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 1: on you. That's on you. Shame on Fox for green

781
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 1: lighting this and that's our show. Oh boy, let's thank

782
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 1: gr alchemists. See what they're up to. Chris Oliver, You're

783
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 1: welcome at Chriss Olparado. Uh. And I don't take back

784
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 1: my resolution. I still think it's we don't want you to.

785
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,759
Speaker 1: I support chrismas resolution. Let's all just say we love

786
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: you and we'll support you. Christ I don't believe you,

787
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 1: and that's the problem. Yeah, that's your work to do.

788
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: Um Dynasty typewriter dot com at Dynasty tap writer on Instagram.

789
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 1: I don't take back my resolution either, Greg Kakowski, it's

790
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,720
Speaker 1: gonna be a big twenty twenty everyone. We're gonna reelect

791
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: Donald Trump. We're gonna mega and at Kikowski on Twitter.

792
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,839
Speaker 1: James C. I just want to say, Lambo Rodriguez has

793
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 1: it right. He says that this show is not for everyone.

794
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 1: Five star reviews everyone. In the case that you might

795
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,240
Speaker 1: not enjoy good things, you could listen to the static

796
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 1: noise between channels on radio station. Give it a try.

797
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, so that's uh, that was basically what Lambeau

798
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 1: Rodriguez said, and I I think that's a great review. Nice.

799
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,359
Speaker 1: Joey Greer Bear Sply every second and fourth Wednesday, nine

800
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: o'clock Westie Comedy Theater. Pretty Pretty Pony every first Thursday

801
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: at ten o'clock at west Common Theater. And check out

802
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 1: good Night if you haven't yet sketch album I did

803
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 1: listen to. It's on Spotify so sweet. You can find

804
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 1: me at Stratton Cool or at Cold Stratton A very

805
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: social things. Pretty Pretty Pony, as Joey mentioned. Also, come

806
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 1: see Alchemy This Live SF Sketch Fest. Go to s

807
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 1: S sketch Fest dot com from ore Info. It's on

808
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: January Saturday, January at one pm at the Punchline. Come

809
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 1: see us. It's gonna be a lot of fun. That's

810
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: it for today. Let's thank our engineer and producer Doug Baby,

811
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: our post sound design artist Raphael Brito, and lastly, I

812
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 1: heart media ship. I encourage I'll of you to write

813
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 1: a review, tell everyone you've ever met and write to

814
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 1: us at your name here at alchemy This dot com.

815
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:16,240
Speaker 1: That's your name here, at Alchemy, this dot com until

816
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 1: next time.