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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,

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Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big

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Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they

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Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everyone, welcome back to a

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Speaker 1: new episode of the show. Thank you for tuning in,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us today as we talk about another

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Speaker 1: interesting topic. Like I say every week, every topic I

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Speaker 1: kind of like to cover is one that I personally

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Speaker 1: feel a lot of feelings, I feel a lot of

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Speaker 1: truth to, or is something that as a person in

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Speaker 1: their twenties I have been through. I've been experiencing or

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Speaker 1: discussing with friends, with family, with people around me. This

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Speaker 1: is obviously no different, and it's also a really big

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Speaker 1: and rucial one and one that has a lot of

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Speaker 1: ties to our mental health, not just our overall psychological

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Speaker 1: perspectives and well being. I think a lot of the

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Speaker 1: times when people hear like psychology, they often think mental illness.

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Speaker 1: I try and stay away from that because I really

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Speaker 1: want to be able to expand people's knowledge of this

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Speaker 1: topic and this discipline and understand that it covers a

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Speaker 1: lot more than just some kind of illness that's going

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Speaker 1: on on, some kind of mental unwellness. But this week

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to talk about something that might be

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Speaker 1: related to some kind of mental distress or discomfort that

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Speaker 1: you're feeling, especially in our twenties. So this week we're

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Speaker 1: talking about identity crises. An identity crisis that might come

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Speaker 1: along in our twenties later on or earlier. It might

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Speaker 1: be something that you're going through, and I want to

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Speaker 1: really approach it from a growth mindset, from a growing perspective,

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Speaker 1: rather than one that is negative. There are a lot

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Speaker 1: of studies that I did, a lot of studies that

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Speaker 1: I looked at when I was researching this, all of

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Speaker 1: them saying the same thing. This kind of event is

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Speaker 1: kind of impossible to avoid and something that all of

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Speaker 1: us have to go through in our early adulthood, which

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Speaker 1: is probably for most of you right now. Maybe you're

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Speaker 1: finding yourself experiencing an identity crisis where you really are

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Speaker 1: looking deeply at yourself, or you know, kind of assessing

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Speaker 1: your life and your surroundings and not really knowing who

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Speaker 1: you are. It's not so much about not knowing where

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Speaker 1: you're going or not knowing what the future holds. I

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Speaker 1: do have some episodes on that, but more really not

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Speaker 1: knowing who you are at your core and how that

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Speaker 1: kind of bleeds into the rest of our life. So

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Speaker 1: I'm really really keen for today's episode. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: a lot of these a lot of this content is

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Speaker 1: things that I personally am finding interesting at the moment.

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Speaker 1: This is no different and when I was looking into it,

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Speaker 1: I found so many interesting things. I was saying to

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Speaker 1: my housemate. He was asking me, oh, you know, like,

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Speaker 1: what episode are you doing this week? And I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do an episode on an identity crisis.

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Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, do you think that's what

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Speaker 1: you're going through right now? And I was like no.

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Speaker 1: And the reason why I don't think that is because

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Speaker 1: I did all this research and it's made me better

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Speaker 1: able to identify, you know, what I'm feeling. But if

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Speaker 1: you are going through some kind of massive or major

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Speaker 1: change or shift in your life and you don't really

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Speaker 1: know where you stand, you don't really have a clear

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Speaker 1: sense of identity, then this episode is for you. First,

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Speaker 1: I just want to kind of define what we're talking

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Speaker 1: about today. So an identity crisis, it's a developmental event

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Speaker 1: and it involves a person, maybe yourself, questioning their sense

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Speaker 1: of self and their place in the world and the

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Speaker 1: concept it originates in the work of this developmental psychologist.

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Speaker 1: If you are a psychology student, I hope you recognize

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Speaker 1: the name. It's his name is Eric Ericson, an acute name,

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Speaker 1: Eric Ericsson. He was a psychoanalyst in the nineteen hundreds

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Speaker 1: and he believed that the formation of identity was one

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Speaker 1: of the most important conflicts that people face. It's a challenge,

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Speaker 1: it's a developmental event that we have to overcome in

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Speaker 1: order to kind of recognize our true self. And according

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Speaker 1: to Ericson, an identity crisis is a time of really

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Speaker 1: intensive analysis and self discovery and exploration of different ways

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Speaker 1: of perceiving and looking at ourselves. And he noted that

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Speaker 1: developing a sense of identity is really important during our

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Speaker 1: early adulthood, beginning obviously in our teenage years, but also

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Speaker 1: our early in late twenties, and our identity it's not

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Speaker 1: a stagnant thing that we create over a day and

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Speaker 1: we're loyal to for the rest of our lives. Who

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Speaker 1: we were five years ago is not who we are now.

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Speaker 1: I would hope so. And it's highly likely that your

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Speaker 1: identity and your sense of self concept is going to

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Speaker 1: be hugely different in a lot of major ways five

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Speaker 1: years from now, let alone ten or twenty, and that

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Speaker 1: is such an incredible thing. It's an incredible blessing that

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Speaker 1: we can develop and be different people across our lives,

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Speaker 1: and that our brains and our minds and our overall

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Speaker 1: self concept allows us to do this and allows up

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Speaker 1: allows us to develop based on what's going on in

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Speaker 1: our lives. So today we're going to break down this

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Speaker 1: discussion of identity crisis into four sections. So we're going

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Speaker 1: to talk about identity first. That seems like a pretty

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Speaker 1: good building block. What is identity we all seem to have,

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Speaker 1: but what are its contents? What is it specifically? You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't think we can necessarily point to a collection

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Speaker 1: of items, or our jobs, or our friends and families

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Speaker 1: and say, well, this is me summed up, this is

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Speaker 1: who I am. It's something a lot deeper and nuanced

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Speaker 1: and quite frankly, sometimes intangible. Then we're going to discuss

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Speaker 1: why does a crisis of identity occur and what does

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Speaker 1: it symbolize internally for our psychology and what does it

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Speaker 1: feel like mentally, socially, emotionally, and importantly For the last

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Speaker 1: kind of section of the podcast. We're going to talk

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Speaker 1: about what comes after. How do we push through this

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Speaker 1: hard and sometimes very dark period where we're questioning ourselves

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Speaker 1: and our identity and emerge at the other end, hopefully

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Speaker 1: better and brighter and representing our true selves. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: let's jump straight in. We're going to talk about identity.

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Speaker 1: What is identity? A huge massive question I know to

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Speaker 1: kind of pose to us, but the idea and conception

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Speaker 1: of identity is such an incredibly complex topic. Identity is

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Speaker 1: really concerned with this question of who am I and

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Speaker 1: what does it mean to be me? And that might

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Speaker 1: seem like a pretty easy answer for some, but for

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Speaker 1: others it can be a lot more difficult. And how

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Speaker 1: we view ourselves as a huge combination of so many factors,

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Speaker 1: and because our identity is constantly shifting, particularly in young adulthood,

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Speaker 1: one element of our identity is likely to be more

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Speaker 1: prominent at any given time. And where we kind of

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Speaker 1: see ourselves in relation to others and how we view

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Speaker 1: ourselves is likely to be undergoing a lot of major

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Speaker 1: changes during this decade. So let's start by breaking this

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Speaker 1: down into some kind of sizable categories, and as we

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Speaker 1: go through these I really want you to take some

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Speaker 1: time to contemplate exactly what these categories mean for you,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're listening to this episode today, because you

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Speaker 1: might be experiencing an identity crisis. So identity it includes

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Speaker 1: quite a few elements. Firstly, our personal qualities that we

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Speaker 1: have little to no control over us, so our family,

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Speaker 1: our cultural background, skin color, sexuality, where we were born.

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Speaker 1: You know, if someone is particularly nationalistic and that's important

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Speaker 1: for their identity, they may place a really great emphasis

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Speaker 1: on their identity as a member of a certain country.

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Speaker 1: For example, you know their Australian. They're like a barbecue,

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Speaker 1: They're like the beach, and kind of the assumptions that

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Speaker 1: comes along with that. Identity also relates to our basic values,

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Speaker 1: and these dictate the choices that we make in our relationship, ships,

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Speaker 1: in our career, in our daily lives, towards really important

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Speaker 1: things like our health, like where we live, and all

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Speaker 1: of these choices they reflect who we are and what

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Speaker 1: we value and our values. They might include things like

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Speaker 1: honesty or authenticity, dependability, gratitude, trustworthiness. The list goes on

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Speaker 1: and on, and I think a really great exercise to

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Speaker 1: do when you're feeling somewhat unstable in your self perception

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Speaker 1: and what you stand for is to take a few

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Speaker 1: minutes pause this podcast. I'm not going anywhere, but take

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Speaker 1: a few minutes and think about your five most important values,

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Speaker 1: whatever they may be. What are the five values that

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Speaker 1: truly represent who you are? And be honest with yourself

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Speaker 1: about how you might embody these values and what you

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Speaker 1: can do to reinforce this value system within yourself. If

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Speaker 1: you're someone who doesn't see I don't know trustworthiness as

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Speaker 1: particularly important, maybe that's a bad example, maybe like a

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Speaker 1: value for you as freedom. But if you're someone who's

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Speaker 1: happy to kind of live within constraints and it's happy

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Speaker 1: to be kind of a follower rather than a leader,

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Speaker 1: be really honest with yourself about whether that's a value.

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Speaker 1: I want you to take time to identify five five

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Speaker 1: of the most important and these values they inform our

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Speaker 1: moral character as well, which guide us through this world

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Speaker 1: and any kind of cross words we may come across.

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Speaker 1: And they also, as is stated in this episode, really

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Speaker 1: important for our identity. They are those deep fundamental building

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Speaker 1: blocks on which we build a lot of our self concept,

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Speaker 1: our identity. It also relates to our social roles, which

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Speaker 1: we hold or we might inhabit. For example, when I

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Speaker 1: might look at myself or someone might ask me who

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Speaker 1: are you, I might say, you know, I'm a podcast host,

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Speaker 1: I'm an employee, I'm a friend, I'm a sister, I'm

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Speaker 1: a daughter, I'm a woman. And in each of these

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Speaker 1: roles I might act differently or make different decisions based

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Speaker 1: on the context, but together they really help discern who

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Speaker 1: I am and what I represent and the choices I

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Speaker 1: inevitably make. Sometimes, these unique identities which are associated with

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Speaker 1: our social roles can come into conflict. For example, you

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Speaker 1: might see yourself as a student, but also as a

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Speaker 1: traveler or an adventurer, as a daughter, a son at

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Speaker 1: symboling a family member, and maybe your time commitments with

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Speaker 1: school interrupt your ability to fully commit to those other

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Speaker 1: social roles and identities that you find important, in which

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Speaker 1: case some dissonance and potentially an identity crisis may arise

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Speaker 1: when two of our social roles come into conflict with

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Speaker 1: each other. And very similar but slightly different to this

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Speaker 1: idea of social role is our identity within a social group,

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Speaker 1: So for example, your religious identity, or if you're part

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Speaker 1: of a sports team or a large community base which

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Speaker 1: shares a common interest in similar patterns of behaviors or

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Speaker 1: even appearances. This is a really weird example, but I

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Speaker 1: often like to think of like furies as an example

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Speaker 1: of this. Like that is a community, and that is

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Speaker 1: a big part of someone's social identity. You know, they

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Speaker 1: have similar hobbies and similar interests. Or if you're part

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Speaker 1: of like a big fan base for something, that might

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Speaker 1: be really really important for your identity because you have

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Speaker 1: this shared sense of purpose and a shared sense of

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Speaker 1: doing and of being. This links with our next kind

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Speaker 1: of element or facet of identity, And this is the

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Speaker 1: one that I think is probably the most important, maybe

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Speaker 1: just as important as our value system. Our identity is

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Speaker 1: formed by our passions, by our mission and our hobbies.

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Speaker 1: What do we really care about? What is our purpose life?

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Speaker 1: And if you're going through an identity crisis, that question

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Speaker 1: is going to be hard to answer. It's hard to

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Speaker 1: answer at any time. Like that is a huge existential question,

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Speaker 1: like what is our purpose in life? But maybe it's

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Speaker 1: better to scale that back to what do I love doing?

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Speaker 1: What is my mission? For example, you know, you might

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Speaker 1: believe that your mission on this earth is to protect nature,

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Speaker 1: is to protect the earth. Maybe it's to help others

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Speaker 1: make beautiful things, create nurture, or make money and build

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Speaker 1: a fortune. This kind of assumption about what we're here

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Speaker 1: for forms a really cool part of your identity, and

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Speaker 1: it's totally okay if you don't know what that is

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Speaker 1: right now. I was talking to my friend Gia the

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Speaker 1: other day and she was like, I just know that

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Speaker 1: one day I'm going to come across something and realize

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Speaker 1: this is for me, and I really do believe that's

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Speaker 1: going to happen for her. There's so many opportunities and

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Speaker 1: changes in our lives where we really get to kind

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Speaker 1: of get to the core of what we believe in,

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Speaker 1: but also what we think our mission here is. And

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Speaker 1: it's also made up of smaller things, specifically what we love,

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Speaker 1: what kind of stokes the fire in your belly. You know,

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Speaker 1: when you're meeting someone new, you might define yourself first

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Speaker 1: by your hobbies. You know that you play football, or

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Speaker 1: you crochet, or you run marathons, or you meditate or

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Speaker 1: you paint, I don't know, whatever you're into. Those elements

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Speaker 1: of what you love doing and what you fill your

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Speaker 1: free time with are just as crucial as some of

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Speaker 1: those bigger picture, things like your values, and these elements

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Speaker 1: are just as crucial. Although they may not immediately come

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Speaker 1: to mind, all of these small things build up to

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Speaker 1: create us. They create our identity because it is a

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Speaker 1: multilayered construct. It's not just one thing. And although the

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Speaker 1: big things might come first, there not the most important.

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Speaker 1: And as we dive deeper, we are able to see

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Speaker 1: what is truly at the core of ourselves, not just

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Speaker 1: our social role, not just the family or the life

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Speaker 1: that we were born into. And I think something that

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Speaker 1: I've noticed, and something that psychology really backs up, is

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Speaker 1: you can tell a lot about someone by their response

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Speaker 1: to a question like who are you? If I were

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Speaker 1: to ask you this question right now, what would you say?

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Speaker 1: Would you define yourself by your ethnicity or your nationality,

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Speaker 1: maybe by your values and your beliefs, your social roles,

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Speaker 1: maybe by your mission, your hobbies, what you love or

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Speaker 1: who you love. And often when our identity is defined

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Speaker 1: by external factors rather than those deep core beliefs, but

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Speaker 1: things like our achievements, our political identity, our social roles,

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Speaker 1: our performative behaviors or duty, that's when we can find

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Speaker 1: ourselves quite detached from our true selves. And who we

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Speaker 1: are at our core, our belief systems, our passion, and

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Speaker 1: our mission. And this brings me it possibly my favorite

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Speaker 1: element of identity, which is the existence of our true selves.

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Speaker 1: When we look at some of those factors that create

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Speaker 1: our identity, like I kind of mentioned before, some of

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Speaker 1: them seem a lot more peripheral and less important than others.

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Speaker 1: And this is where the distinction between our true self

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Speaker 1: and our false or peripheral self kind of comes into

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Speaker 1: this equation of identity. So our true self this refers

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Speaker 1: to a sense of self based on authentic experience and

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Speaker 1: the feeling of being truly present and alive and honest

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Speaker 1: about who you are. So elements that make up our

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Speaker 1: true selves include our deep inner values, our mission, our purpose,

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Speaker 1: the connections we have with those that we love, maybe

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Speaker 1: our religious belief, our goals, and our self concept, how

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Speaker 1: we feel about ourselves, whether we feel good about ourselves,

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Speaker 1: whether we see ourselves in a positive life, and our

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Speaker 1: full self. It's kind of a defensive facade, and behind

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Speaker 1: this facade you can feel really empty. It's based on

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Speaker 1: behaviors and an identity that's learned and controlled rather than

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Speaker 1: spontaneous and authentic and genuine, and it's made up of

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Speaker 1: elements and factors of identity that I would say are

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Speaker 1: pretty superficial and inconsistent or unstable, like how we wish

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Speaker 1: others to receive us, maybe beauty and appearance and status.

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Speaker 1: When we're able to identify our true self and exhibit

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Speaker 1: it throughout what we do in every moment and embody

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Speaker 1: our kind of pure intentions and our desires and our missions,

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Speaker 1: we're likely to be a lot happier and fulfilled because

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Speaker 1: we're in pursuit of becoming our best selves and making

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Speaker 1: decisions with our core our ues at hand. We know

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Speaker 1: what's important to us, but more importantly, who we are

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Speaker 1: when all the facades and trinkets and material things are

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Speaker 1: stripped away becomes more apparent and becomes more crucial to

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Speaker 1: how we live our daily lives. But let's get to

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Speaker 1: this next topic. What happens when that type of self,

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Speaker 1: our true self, is confusing and unstable and really difficult

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Speaker 1: to identify in the moment. That brings us to kind

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Speaker 1: of the center of our discussion today, which is the

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Speaker 1: experience of having an identity crisis. So an identity crisis,

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Speaker 1: it's defined as a period of uncertainty and confusion in

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Speaker 1: which a person, maybe yourself at the moment, your sense

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Speaker 1: of identity becomes insecure, typically due to some kind of

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Speaker 1: unexpected change in your role in society and your aims

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Speaker 1: and your lifestyle, and a huge transitions in our twenties

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Speaker 1: put our identity into question in a way that we

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Speaker 1: often don't have to question in other periods of our life.

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Speaker 1: If we think about our twenties, it's defined by massive change.

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Speaker 1: It's defined by growing up, and we have to try

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Speaker 1: and navigate that weird space between who we used to be,

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Speaker 1: who we are now, and who we ultimately want to

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Speaker 1: be in the future. And so many things can trigger

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Speaker 1: or catalyze this type of rapid and really is a

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Speaker 1: rapid transition and shift in our self identity. Let's think

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Speaker 1: about a few like leaving school, graduating, that's something that

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Speaker 1: is a really huge experience for people in their early twenties,

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Speaker 1: moving countries, moving states, a loss of a parent, of

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Speaker 1: a friend, of a family member, or a tragedy, a breakup.

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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about that a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: Illness and injury. You know, things come up as we age,

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Speaker 1: as we enter into twenties. We're not young anymore. You know,

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Speaker 1: you might be developing chronic illnesses, you might find yourself

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Speaker 1: being injured, you might find yourself being unwell. And that's

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Speaker 1: a real kind of catalyst for that kind of self

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Speaker 1: discovery and the identity crisis that might come with it.

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Speaker 1: And there are other just more subtle things that can

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Speaker 1: be a significant trauma and a significant shift in our lives,

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Speaker 1: like losing friends, getting fired, moving out of home. Basically

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Speaker 1: the biggest trigger for this experience is change, in which

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Speaker 1: we're forced to make decisions from a place of uncertainty

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Speaker 1: and kind of an uncomfortable terrain where we might find

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Speaker 1: it harder to remember our values and our mission and

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Speaker 1: the things we love what makes us really us. Let's

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Speaker 1: use that breakup example for this, because I think it

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Speaker 1: might resonate with a lot of those a lot of

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Speaker 1: us who have been in love at some point and

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Speaker 1: now find ourselves well not in love, or at least

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Speaker 1: not in love with the same person. Like I mentioned before,

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Speaker 1: our identities they become very tied up in our social roles,

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Speaker 1: in our relationships to others, and our values, our beliefs,

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Speaker 1: and our goals might become a line to this other

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Speaker 1: person as well, and whilst in a relationship. I'm sure

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Speaker 1: many of us have had this experience, Like a relationship

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Speaker 1: is a really vulnerable and intimate union of people. You know,

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Speaker 1: you've chosen someone and you've chosen to spend a lot

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Speaker 1: of time with them and get to know them, and

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Speaker 1: we might begin to see ourselves not just as an individual,

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Speaker 1: but as a partner, as a caregiver, as our lover,

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Speaker 1: and our hobbies become molded by them, what we do together,

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Speaker 1: how we spend our time, and with that we might

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Speaker 1: also see a change in our values and beliefs. But

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Speaker 1: when it's over, we have to recover all these old

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Speaker 1: parts of our identity that we neglected, or we need

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Speaker 1: to form new ones, and that leads to a sense

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Speaker 1: of crisis and an inability to sometimes recognize ourselves. And

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Speaker 1: the same can be said when we when we graduate

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Speaker 1: from UNI or from a trade. We used to see

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Speaker 1: ourselves as a student and defined ourselves by what activities

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Speaker 1: and duties come along with that, you know, studying, performing

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Speaker 1: well on exams, and our belief system At times, you know,

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Speaker 1: I am studious, I believe in hard work. But when

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Speaker 1: that identity is no longer available to us, we enter

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Speaker 1: and can into into a really confusing period of our lives.

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Speaker 1: Maybe a lot of you are experiencing at the moment,

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Speaker 1: at the moment whereby we're really unsure of where we

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Speaker 1: exist in the world, what's our place, what do people

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Speaker 1: expect of us? And how do we define our worth?

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Speaker 1: So what kind of comes next? Well, we may experience

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Speaker 1: an identity crisis. Like I said, a lot of the

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Speaker 1: original work done into this experience and this event was

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Speaker 1: done by Eric Ericsson, this psychoanalyst, and he did a

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Speaker 1: lot of groundwork on ideas of identity and self concept.

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Speaker 1: So the identity crisis, it was coined by Ericsson, and

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Speaker 1: he drew on his experiences from his own life in

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Speaker 1: formulating this theory. Let's not get into the scientific legitimacy

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Speaker 1: or reliability of this theory then, I think we all

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Speaker 1: know that when something is anecdotal, it's a little bit

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Speaker 1: less sound. But he laid out these eight phases of

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Speaker 1: psychosocial development of individual personality and identity. An identity crisis

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Speaker 1: is a phase in this development spectrum, and it usually occurs,

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Speaker 1: according to him, when we enter early adulthood. In his opinion,

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Speaker 1: it's a normal part of transitions it's a normal part

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Speaker 1: of life, and it occurs because in early adulthood, this

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Speaker 1: is where we begin to seek individuality and we deeply

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Speaker 1: consider who we are beyond our social roles in our

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Speaker 1: relationships to others, mainly our family, and individuality comprises a

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Speaker 1: sense of uniqueness and developing a image according to your

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00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 1: own inclinations and sires and mission. Every experience in this

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00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: stage impacts our development of self identity. And what I

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Speaker 1: mean by this stage is this stage where we're becoming

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Speaker 1: an adult, and in this period we really begin to

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Speaker 1: question the meaning of life, where we function in society,

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Speaker 1: our role, our purpose, and so on. And often this

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Speaker 1: grand kind of shift in how we see ourselves and

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Speaker 1: our individuality is triggered by some big external change which

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Speaker 1: forces us to really rethink who we are. Like we

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Speaker 1: explained before, So when we reach the stage, psychology kind

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00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 1: of concludes, and a lot of studies have found that

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00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: we will inevitably experience some of the same things, things

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Speaker 1: like low self esteem and questioning your value or your worth,

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Speaker 1: not seeing your yourself as a good person, feeling really

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00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: lost or aimless, like you don't really have a direction

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Speaker 1: or a compass to point you in the right direction.

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00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:14,360
Speaker 1: Think about that in kind of the experience of graduating.

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Speaker 1: You know, you used to have this really clear goal,

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Speaker 1: like I'm working towards graduating, I'm working towards getting good grades,

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Speaker 1: and then suddenly you're not a student anymore. So where

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00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 1: do you kind of sit it. Also, an identity crisis

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00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: might make you feel really emotionally scattered and you're finding

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00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: it really difficult to regulate your emotions. You'll feel maybe

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00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: an increased sense of insecurity, like the world is changing

404
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: around you because you don't really know where you stand.

405
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 1: And you might begin to question things like your values

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00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 1: and your beliefs to your career path and you're searching

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00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 1: for more meaning, for more reason or passion in your life.

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00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: I guess that comes along with that development of individuality.

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Speaker 1: You know, you get to finally make decisions for yourself

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00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 1: and off when big life stresses and big life events

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00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: come around, it puts a lot of things into perspective,

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Speaker 1: and an identity crisis it can often be really difficult.

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Speaker 1: You might feel really anxious or really depressed because your

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00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 1: sense of self concept is no longer there now. Our

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00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: friend Eric Ericson he believes this is a really normal

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Speaker 1: and natural part of life. And I really agree with this.

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Speaker 1: I think it is we all have to come to

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Speaker 1: this stage at some point where we have to review

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Speaker 1: our old inherited belief systems, our old identity, and decide

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Speaker 1: for ourselves who we want to be. And like I said,

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Speaker 1: this might come in the wake of some major life stresses.

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Speaker 1: But there's also an alternative kind of proposal by another

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Speaker 1: clinical psychologist. His name was His name was James Mussia.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he's still alive, but James Mussia

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Speaker 1: was is still his name, and he had this different

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Speaker 1: perspective than Ericson did, and he kind of furthered the

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00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: theory of identity formation by suggesting that we all have

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00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: to go through these four stages of finally coming to

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00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:16,160
Speaker 1: our identity. These stages are foreclosure, diffusion, moratorium, and achievement.

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00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: So identity foreclosure, the first stage, refers to a commitment

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Speaker 1: to an identity without exploration. We are just who we

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Speaker 1: are because and we haven't really thought about it. You know,

433
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 1: this is how our family raised us, This is our

434
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: environment has kind of shaped us. You know, if you

435
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: were someone who grew up in a really conservative household,

436
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 1: you might merely inherent an identity that's been opposed on

437
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: you by others around you, you know, by your family.

438
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: And although you have an identity, it doesn't really contain

439
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 1: elements of yourself. It's not really unique, it's not individual,

440
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 1: and you haven't really thought about it, you know. If

441
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 1: we're using the university or the graduation example, if you've

442
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: been studying your whole life from when you were like

443
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: three years old to twenty one or whenever we might

444
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: graduate UNI, we have this identity of ourselves as a

445
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: student that's never really been tested. It's inherited and it

446
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 1: feels normal. But an identity crisis might occur for individuals

447
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: when we begin to grow disorientated with this established way

448
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 1: of life due to some reason or some large shift,

449
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: like you graduate, you're finished with this path, and this

450
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 1: pushes us into the next stage of an identity crisis

451
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: and ultimately the formation of a new identity, so identity diffusion.

452
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: This is a next stage, and this occurs when an

453
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: individual we neither kind of explore or commit to what identity.

454
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: It's kind of this weird transitory phase according to James,

455
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: as individuals will at some point have to face their

456
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: uncertain uncertainty and you kind of just stuck. You're kind

457
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 1: of a bit paralyzed. Before all you're able to move

458
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: on to that moratorium status where you investigate your beliefs.

459
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: And this psychologist, he kind of has this theory that

460
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 1: at this point in your life, where you're moving into

461
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,719
Speaker 1: exploring a new identity, you have two choices. Either you

462
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: can actively look inwards, you can actively kind of feed

463
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: your passions and think deeply about who you are, or

464
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: you can kind of slip into a state of real

465
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: stagnation and depression and sometimes even an existential crisis, which

466
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 1: is an entirely different episode in itself, but a sense

467
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: of just like stuck and you don't really know who

468
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: you are. But if we do reach the moratorium phase,

469
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: this is where you can undergo a crisis, an identity crisis,

470
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: and you actively have to explore possibilities for your identity,

471
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: and you might be feeling really overwhelmed with that opportunity,

472
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: but upon succes as fully kind of overcoming this crisis,

473
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: you really are able to achieve a strong sense of

474
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 1: self identity. And Marcia he believed that these identity states

475
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 1: were really cyclical in nature, so an individual might experience

476
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: repeated deconstruction and creation of new identities throughout their lives

477
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 1: associated with major life events. Whilst Ericson kind of talks

478
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: about early adulthood, is this really formative period, Marcia kind

479
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: of completes his theory by stating that an identity crisis

480
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: is likely to reoccur in adulthood, and that's what we

481
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: call a midlife crisis. And it also implies that identity

482
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: is not really concrete, and we might have to revise

483
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: our identity a few times, not to kind of emerge

484
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: as our true self, but to really create a sense

485
00:30:54,320 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 1: of stability and happiness with where we are at the moment. Okay,

486
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: if you're in this right now, this might seem really

487
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: really fucking stressful and confronting, but I really want to

488
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: approach this topic from a growth perspective and a growth mindset,

489
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: you know, Whilst we're still going to acknowledge some of

490
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: those stresses that may accompany an identity crisis, I ultimately

491
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: think it's a really good thing. You know. Questioning your

492
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: sense of self might be stressful, but it's important in

493
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: the long term knowing who you are and adapting to

494
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: changes and major life shifts and coming out as a

495
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 1: stronger version of yourself, maybe even as your true self,

496
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 1: is going to allow you to grow as a person.

497
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: So where to next? You know you've undergone this incredible

498
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: shift in identity. You're probably feeling really lost and detached

499
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: from yourself. So what do you do? How can you

500
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: get to a place of obtaining and recognizing your true

501
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: self and having a concrete sense of identity? Okay, I

502
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: asked you a few questions earlier on about what are

503
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: your values? And we're going to return to this, and

504
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: we're going to return to why this question is important.

505
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: When our lives have been shaken up, it's really really

506
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: crucial to at least for some time, detach from external

507
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: validation and look inward. I know this sounds really wishy

508
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: washy and post enlightenment, but let me explain by what

509
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 1: I mean by this. So, like Ericsson kind of explained,

510
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: at some stage of our lives, we're going to face

511
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 1: a crisis of identity and we can either move through it, or,

512
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: as James Marcia said, we can remain distracted and lost

513
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: and enter into a period of stagnation and existential crisis.

514
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: And the best way to move through this is to

515
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: seriously take some time out and look within yourself and

516
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 1: ask yourself some of those questions we asked ourselves before

517
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: about who you are. Ask yourself these questions and answer

518
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: them over time to kind of figure out where you're at,

519
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: figure out what you really represent. And some of those

520
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: questions might be what are the qualities and characteristics that

521
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: really define you right now? Is it you know, those

522
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: external things like your appearance, or is it something deeper

523
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: like I'm a nice person, I'm a generous person, I'm

524
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: an honest person. If you're experiencing a major life change,

525
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: sit with that feeling of instability and think about how

526
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: is this changing me right now? How am I different

527
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 1: from before this happened? And how can we kind of

528
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: cope with these new things that are occurring? And then

529
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 1: your values? You know, what are your values? I ask you?

530
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: Do I think about five of them, but maybe think

531
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: even deeper and think about it deep, like really think

532
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 1: about it, like seriously, think about what are the values

533
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: that make up who I am? Write them down, put

534
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: them up in your room, put them up somewhere. That's important.

535
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: So when you're going about your life and you're feeling

536
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 1: like this crisis of like I don't know who I am,

537
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 1: I don't know what I stand for. You can be like,

538
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: you know I've done this work. I actually do know

539
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: who I am. I do know what my beliefs are,

540
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: and they are x y Z. It's also important to

541
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: really sink deeply into your interests and your passions and

542
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: your hobbies. Are you doing what you like to do,

543
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 1: You're actually enjoying your life? Like that's a really big question.

544
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:36,720
Speaker 1: Are you actually enjoying your life? And if not, why

545
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 1: aren't you doing it? What are the factors that are

546
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: preventing you from doing it? Maybe it's because you have

547
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: this conflicting social role. Maybe your job is taking away

548
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 1: from the thing that you really want to do, and

549
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 1: that is part of that crisis. Like I said, when

550
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: your social roles begin to conflict, it's also important to

551
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 1: really ground yourself in what helps me in these moments?

552
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,720
Speaker 1: What is going to help me through? What are the relationships,

553
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 1: what are the things? What are the activities that are

554
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: going to make me feel like me and going to

555
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 1: make me feel like my true self? All of these

556
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: questions are really really fundamental to ask yourself at some

557
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: point in your life. And I think it's a pretty

558
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: empty life you'll lead if you don't, or, like both

559
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: of these psychologists we've talked about today have explained, you're

560
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: probably going to end up in a state of pretty

561
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: serious existential dread if you don't push through and do

562
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 1: that hard work to identify what really makes you you.

563
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 1: I think in times like this we really can't understate

564
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,280
Speaker 1: the importance of friends and family. You know, these people,

565
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,280
Speaker 1: they might see the external version of you, but they

566
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: do really tend to see you as you are. And

567
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: if you ask them to be honest with you, and

568
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: if you say, like who who am I to you?

569
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: What are my best qualities? Why do you like me?

570
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: Why do you spend time with me? Why do you

571
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: love me? I'm sure they'll have some pretty amazing answers.

572
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: And it's a good way, and it's a good start

573
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: to kind of overcome this sense of crisis with who

574
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: am I and asking yourself those questions. I think something

575
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 1: else that I've done, which at times of crisis have

576
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 1: really helped me, Especially in my first years of UNI,

577
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: where I was kind of undergoing this transition to adulthood

578
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: and didn't really know who I was, was spending time

579
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: alone and in nature, There are so many points in

580
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,959
Speaker 1: the day where I will be like having a thought

581
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 1: and I'll pick up my phone and that thought is gone,

582
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 1: and I realized that I actually have an opportunity there

583
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: to spend time with myself and to really sit back

584
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 1: and think about, you know what am I experiencing? Am

585
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,839
Speaker 1: I behaving in a way that's true to myself? Do

586
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 1: I feel like myself at the moment? And I don't.

587
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: But being able to spend time in solitude and spend

588
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: time in nature and without distractions can be really healing,

589
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: and it can be like a really amazing antidote and

590
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 1: kind of tonic for the soul. And if you're really struggling,

591
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: if this is a really hard period for you, where

592
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: this lack of identity, this lack of sense of self

593
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: is really starting to wear on you mentally, you can

594
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 1: always seek professional help. I think that is such an

595
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:29,919
Speaker 1: important resource. Sometimes having an external opinion and an objective

596
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 1: external opinion, not your friends and your family, can be

597
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: one of the best kind of shepherds in a time

598
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: like this where you're really seeking clarity about who you

599
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: are and what you stand for. I hope that you

600
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode. We're kind of going to wrap up here.

601
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: I talked about what I wanted to talk about, and

602
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 1: I hope that you've gained something from this. It was

603
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: such an interesting episode to think about, and I really

604
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: had to listen to my own advice and think about

605
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: my values and think about what I love doing, and

606
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: what my interests and my hobbies and my passions are

607
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: and why I might not be doing them, whether I

608
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 1: really enjoy my life. Like some pretty big existential questions

609
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: associated with this topic, but like I said, important nonetheless.

610
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: So I hope that if you're listening to this and

611
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,760
Speaker 1: you're undergoing and I don only crisis, you take away

612
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: two important things. Firstly, this is so normal. This is

613
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 1: so natural as you grow up and you went to

614
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: adulthood and you have to figure out who you are

615
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 1: and explore your individuality, it's makes sense that this is

616
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: something you're going to have to overcome. And secondly, like

617
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 1: there is a way through this. You're going to emerge

618
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: as a better, brighter, true version of yourself if you

619
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 1: do that work and you sit with your feelings, and

620
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: you sit with your thoughts, and you sit with your

621
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 1: identity and examine all kind of elements and facets of

622
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 1: it and ask yourself, like, am I really embodying who

623
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: I truly believe I am? So thank you so much

624
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 1: for listening. I hope you learned something, and as always,

625
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: if you feel called to do so, please feel free

626
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,800
Speaker 1: to leave a five star review on Spotify or Apple

627
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you're listening right now. Also a little plug,

628
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: we now have paid subscriptions. You may have seen there

629
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 1: are some episodes that have a little lock on them

630
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: that you can't access. This is because they are for

631
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 1: my amazing paid subscribers, and if you would like to

632
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: be one, it's super easy. There's a link in the

633
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 1: description of this podcast. It really helps this podcast grow.

634
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: It allows me to kind of spend more time making

635
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: episodes and be more serious about this little hobby that

636
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: I have and this mission that I have to kind

637
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:50,400
Speaker 1: of share more with people about the way that psychology

638
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 1: really impacts our lives, not just in a clinical mental

639
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:58,359
Speaker 1: illness kind of setting, but in every facet. And thank

640
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 1: you so much for listening and supporting the podcast. I

641
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: will see you next week. We're going to be discussing

642
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 1: codependency