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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, we're brown ambishon.

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Speaker 2: Hey, hey, hey, how's it going good.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm serving bedbun realists, what about you?

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Speaker 3: Do you know what I am serving? I woke up

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Speaker 3: today and my house smelled like a swamp. Thank you,

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Speaker 3: Hurricane Ida. My Zenden has been tarnished by the swamp

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Speaker 3: waters of the Bronx River. But you know, we're very

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Speaker 3: blessed and fortunate that we didn't have a lot of damage.

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Speaker 3: So my heart goes out to I mean, just so

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Speaker 3: many family, even in my neighborhood. Somehowses flooded completely. So

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Speaker 3: you know, we're very lucky. And you know, my heart

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Speaker 3: goes out to everyone who's dealing with a complete nightmare,

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Speaker 3: including to Nedda Bell.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Photographed, yeah, logo our artwork.

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Speaker 1: So if you see like our Brown Ambition, like our

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Speaker 1: new Brown Ambition artwork or the one from before, or

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Speaker 1: any of my headshots, it's my friend. In the cover

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Speaker 1: of my book Get It with Money, it's my friend

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Speaker 1: Toanedda Bell, and she lives in New Jersey and her

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Speaker 1: basement just just flooded and she just lost so much.

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Speaker 1: And I just saw that she had posted her frustration

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Speaker 1: that she it looks like FEMA might not be servicing

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Speaker 1: Essex County where we live. So she's just really it's

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Speaker 1: just you know, I'm gonna actually call her today, so

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Speaker 1: you know, just love and light to you. Toan Nedda,

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Speaker 1: I just can't imagine. I mean to your point, Mandy.

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Speaker 1: Literally it was like house by house, you know, like

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Speaker 1: my house was fine, but the one across the street

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Speaker 1: they're pumping out like gallons and gallons and gallons of water.

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Speaker 3: So well to everyone recovering from the storm along the

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Speaker 3: East Coast and in the Gulf Coast for sure, everyone

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Speaker 3: listening in New Orleans, Mississippi, Alabama. Why did I say

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Speaker 3: New Orleans as if that's the entire state Louisiana, I know,

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Speaker 3: not hearts out. I hope you guys are recovering. And

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Speaker 3: you know, if anyone listening to the show has any

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Speaker 3: stories to share or wants to offer support to be

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Speaker 3: a listeners who may be a need, hit us up

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Speaker 3: Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com, or you can

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Speaker 3: hit us up on ig We're at Brown Ambition Podcast

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Speaker 3: or brendambispodcast dot com.

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Speaker 2: Zach cool.

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Speaker 4: So this makes a little specially specih.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it is super special because we are going to

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Speaker 1: take y'all on a very special trip down memory lane.

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Speaker 3: That's right to have now. Last week, if you guys listened,

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Speaker 3: If you haven't, go back and listen.

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Speaker 4: It's an episode you don't want to miss.

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Speaker 3: But we mentioned that our first ever episode of Brown Ambition,

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Speaker 3: it's actually been eaten up and hidden away by the

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Speaker 3: podcasting gods somehow. You actually can't find it unless you

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Speaker 3: know exactly where to look. Our first ever episode actually

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Speaker 3: aired number fifteenth, two thousand and sixteen.

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Speaker 4: Wait, that's incorrect. Why did I get our own anniversary wrong?

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Speaker 3: It eventually hired twenty fifteen, Tiffany, which means we are

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Speaker 3: just coming up on our six year anniversary.

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Speaker 1: Gosh, we were such baby podcasters then, so y'all to celebrate,

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Speaker 1: me and Mandra dug deep, deep, deep into the archives

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Speaker 1: of the Internet to find our first episode. In y'all,

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Speaker 1: it does not disappoint you get to hear baby Mandra

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Speaker 1: and me Tiffany talking about why we started this little

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Speaker 1: show to begin with, and what we hope and dream

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Speaker 1: we build together, this community, this beautiful ba fan that

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Speaker 1: we've come to love so much.

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Speaker 3: After you listen to our first ever episode stick around,

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Speaker 3: because after the break, we are also going to have

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Speaker 3: y'all listen to a throwback to one of our favorite

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Speaker 3: guests of twenty twenty, doctor Imani Walker, who you might

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Speaker 3: recognize from a little show called Bravos Married to Medicine.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Mandra. Doctor Imani is a physician trained in general

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Speaker 1: adult psychiatry, and she joined us in the thick of

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Speaker 1: the Pandemonium last year to give us some solid tips

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Speaker 1: for staying sane during this quarantine.

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Speaker 4: That was a little rhyme, but not really.

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Speaker 1: Now it looks like we're all headed back to the

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Speaker 1: land of mass mandates in COVID quarantine, so we thought

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Speaker 1: it would be a good time to bring back doctor

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Speaker 1: Emani's tips for a refresher on how we can all

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Speaker 1: be kind to our bodies and minds and each other.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so deep wusaw breath, I think we need to

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Speaker 3: bring back that squiggly dreamy sequence music they use whenever

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Speaker 3: saved by the bell, Tiffany is saved by the bell

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Speaker 3: like a your generation thing or a mind generate.

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Speaker 4: I do know save by the bell.

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Speaker 1: That was my thank you.

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Speaker 3: But you know, when they used to go to the

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Speaker 3: Max and they would like have the squiggly pink glittery

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Speaker 3: you know filter come over the screen and the violins

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Speaker 3: or the harp.

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Speaker 4: No, the harp would start chiming.

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Speaker 3: You knew it was a throwback episode, so we need

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Speaker 3: that music. BA fan, We hope you enjoy this throwback episode.

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Speaker 3: So Producer Sarah please cue dreamy music. Hey everyone, I'm Mandy.

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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Tiffany and this is Brown Ambition.

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Speaker 3: I've been a reporter in New York City for five years.

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Speaker 3: Right now, I'm a writer at Yahoo Finance. I write

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Speaker 3: about money, business, career, basically anything to do with the

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Speaker 3: world and.

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Speaker 4: How it impacts your wallet.

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Speaker 1: And I am Tiffany, but much better known as the

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Speaker 1: Budget Lista and I'm a financial educator, bestselling author, speaker, teacher,

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Speaker 1: all things personal finance. Basically, on this podcast, we're going

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Speaker 1: to be talking about career, relationships, life and living in

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Speaker 1: this brown skin.

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Speaker 3: We work, we start businesses, we help one another. We

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Speaker 3: do everything we can to make a better life for ourselves.

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Speaker 3: And that's what Brown Ambition is all about. So here

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Speaker 3: are some topics you might hear us talk about on

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Speaker 3: the podcast.

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Speaker 1: How to deal with off this bullyes and microaggressions.

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Speaker 3: Coping with being the only one in the office.

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Speaker 1: Yes, how to get money for a new business even

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Speaker 1: when you have no idea what you're doing. Should you

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Speaker 1: care if people think you have resting bitch base?

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Speaker 2: Guilty?

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Speaker 3: What to do when by earns less.

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Speaker 2: Than you guilty guilty?

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Speaker 1: Whether or not we should use the word bay in

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Speaker 1: everyday conversation.

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Speaker 3: I have a lot of thoughts about this.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, thank you so much for joining us.

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Speaker 3: Guys. We're going to start off the podcast by talking

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Speaker 3: about some buzzworthy headlines that are cropping up in our lives,

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Speaker 3: and we want to talk.

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Speaker 4: More about this.

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Speaker 3: Week's buzzworthy.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm excited about this one.

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Speaker 3: I think, I know. I'm excited to have a lot

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Speaker 3: of opinions about this, and so does the rest of America. Yes,

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Speaker 3: so many opinions on how a young woman today decides

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Speaker 3: it's the right time to step into motherhood.

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Speaker 2: Yes, baby limbo, baby limbo.

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Speaker 3: Ye, right, it's this. You know, I kind of came

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Speaker 3: up with this terminology for a story I did on

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Speaker 3: young people millennials eighteen up to their mid thirties who

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Speaker 3: are stuck between do I have this college debt, or

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Speaker 3: do you know, pay that off and focus on my

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Speaker 3: career or do I also have a baby or you know,

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Speaker 3: what should come first? And honestly, it's such a difficult

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Speaker 3: question because mother nature doesn't wait for you to pay

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Speaker 3: off your student live debt. And I think that women

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Speaker 3: have to recognize that fact. And it's maybe not so

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Speaker 3: comfortable because you know, obviously we want to talk about

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Speaker 3: how much control we should have over our own bodies,

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Speaker 3: which is absolutely true. You should, you know, be your

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Speaker 3: own body's boss. But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: like that clock is ticking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true.

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Speaker 1: So I'm thirty five and I turned thirty six in October,

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Speaker 1: which is not far away. And I mean, I've been

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Speaker 1: thinking about it a lot because I am in a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship, me and my boyfriend Superman.

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Speaker 2: He already has a daughter. She's eight. She's great.

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Speaker 3: Day they a man with a daughter. That's some grown

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Speaker 3: up dating, yes.

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Speaker 1: But I love it honestly because one, I'm at an

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Speaker 1: age now and because I work for myself, I realized

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Speaker 1: I don't necessarily want a huge family. I came from

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Speaker 1: a family there was five girls. My mom and dad

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Speaker 1: raised all five of us, and I don't know that

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Speaker 1: I want a big family, but I at least think

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I want at least one kid of

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Speaker 1: my own. I mean, according to my mom, I really

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Speaker 1: need to get on it.

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Speaker 2: And I kind of feel like that too.

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Speaker 1: My best friend just had a baby, and my sister

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Speaker 1: just had a baby, and so their babies are all

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Speaker 1: under a.

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Speaker 2: Year old, and so I've been like, yeah, a little bit,

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Speaker 2: but sometimes you're over you start to twenty a.

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Speaker 1: Little bit more so than I'm like, oh, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be thirty six, So when are you gonna make a choice.

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Speaker 1: A friend of mine had she made her choice at

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Speaker 1: thirty six and had her baby at thirty seven, and

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Speaker 1: she said, I wish I would have started sooner, That's

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Speaker 1: what I hear.

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Speaker 4: I'm afraid, yeah, sooner would be.

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Speaker 3: I'm twenty eight right now, and I feel like, am

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Speaker 3: I gonna regret not having a baby now? I don't know,

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Speaker 3: but it seems like I just don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: Her reason for saying she wished she would have started

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Speaker 1: sooner is that she wished she really wants to have

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Speaker 1: a second and she doesn't know if she can. Yeah

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Speaker 1: she can, So that's why I don't know that I

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Speaker 1: want to have a second. I mean, I would want

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Speaker 1: to have two kids, but between his one and my one,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, then it goes one plus one max

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Speaker 1: two for free. Yes, she's the bonus kid and so

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Speaker 1: and plus I do so much work and I really

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Speaker 1: want to And I know this might sound a little selfish,

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Speaker 1: but I want to maintain my individual personality and maintaince

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Speaker 1: is okay, you know.

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Speaker 2: As long as you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think selfish would be more so having

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Speaker 1: ten kids and still wanting to fry around the country

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Speaker 1: and speak and teach. And you don't have enough time

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Speaker 1: for your children, So I don't want to spread myself

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Speaker 1: super thin.

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Speaker 3: Right mm hm, well, hopefully you just have one kid

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Speaker 3: to start.

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Speaker 1: I know, well, my boyfriends are twins, so he is,

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Speaker 1: Oh Jesus no, I'm like, yo, he told me. I

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Speaker 1: already like, so I'm aiming.

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Speaker 3: For Does that gene come from the mail line or

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Speaker 3: that I don't, which is more likely to go somebody?

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Speaker 1: Somebody email us at Brown Ambition, yes and tell us

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Speaker 1: how exactly our twins formulated. Does that come from the

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Speaker 1: male line the female line?

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Speaker 4: Is that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Is it hereditary? Or is that like some sort of

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Speaker 2: random you.

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Speaker 3: Do you think it skips a generation, so you might

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Speaker 3: be good. Okay, maybe you're If you have a daughter,

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Speaker 3: then she's got to worry.

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Speaker 2: But you're good, So so you say.

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Speaker 1: And so I come back to the next podcast, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, so, y'all, I'm having twins, thanks Manny.

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Speaker 3: I can talk well, you know, I'm I'm twenty eight,

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Speaker 3: and I don't necessarily feel pressure to have a baby, Okay,

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Speaker 3: but I feel I guess that's not true. I don't

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Speaker 3: feel pressure from myself, Okay, I don't. I look at

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Speaker 3: puppies and I feel my my ovaries twins, like I

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Speaker 3: really want a puppy very badly. Babies not so much,

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Speaker 3: but they're cute. What I do feel is intense pressure

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Speaker 3: from you know, I'm dating. I've been dating my partner

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Speaker 3: boyfriend for through over three years now, which is my

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Speaker 3: longest relationship. Okay, and you know, we live together and

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Speaker 3: we're kind of we're kind of playing it as we

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Speaker 3: you know by ear. His fan, however, is not waiting,

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Speaker 3: especially his mother. He comes from a very traditional, close

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Speaker 3: knit community and family. I guess it's not giving away

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Speaker 3: too much if I say he's Dominican. So I'm in

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Speaker 3: a mixed race relationship. And his mother is very Catholic

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Speaker 3: and very old school, and she is like the mother

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Speaker 3: of mothers. She lives to nurture her son's two sons.

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Speaker 3: They are school of rotten. But you know, I feel

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Speaker 3: her looking at me and wondering. Not just feel, but

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Speaker 3: I hear because she tells me, Mandy, Amanda, why why

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Speaker 3: no baby yet?

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Speaker 4: Why?

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Speaker 3: Her English isn't very good, but she can she gets

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Speaker 3: her point of where's the baby yet? Where it's been

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Speaker 3: three years? I asked her, you know, uh, don't you

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Speaker 3: want us to get married first, and get married and

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Speaker 3: do all that and you know the right order of events.

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Speaker 2: And she's like, no, just have a baby.

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Speaker 3: Wow?

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Speaker 2: Would this be her first grandchild?

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Speaker 4: This will be her first grandchild.

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Speaker 2: There's so much pressure.

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Speaker 1: What so how about you come from a family of

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Speaker 1: five girls and no one has kids. My mother every

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Speaker 1: day on the phone, so my my Nigerian name is Adoci.

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Speaker 1: My mother would call me and say, so adult, she's

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Speaker 1: still not mad. It still no baby. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: good morning, older no second oldest. So they're just like

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Speaker 1: so somebody the oldest is married and she's working on it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm the second. The third is not married. The

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Speaker 1: forest is married and she just had a baby, so

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Speaker 1: we're like, whoa, and but just watching her, she's literally

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Speaker 1: like the milk machine. So she's only allowed to take

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Speaker 1: ten paces away from the baby before the milk machine

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Speaker 1: has to return and dispense milk.

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Speaker 3: You mean, it's not glamorous, and she's not like Blake

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Speaker 3: Lively taking selfies of herself, you know, breastfeeding and a

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Speaker 3: field of sunflowers is.

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Speaker 1: Straight beause honestly, she's like, I'm so tired. Her feet

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Speaker 1: are swollen, and she's just like, how can I My

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Speaker 1: mom is like, my mom is a nurse and her

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Speaker 1: my mom was telling her you need to put your

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Speaker 1: feet up. She's like, oh, when when I'm beating the

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Speaker 1: milk machine.

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Speaker 3: I work for a company, and obviously Y'allhoo has very

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Speaker 3: generous eternity and paternity benefit programs, which isn't the norm nationwide.

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Speaker 3: It's actually America is one of the only developing nations

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Speaker 3: that doesn't have a federally mandated paid maternity or paternity

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Speaker 3: lead law. But I'm lucky enough to work for Yahoo

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Speaker 3: and we have sixteen weeks off that's awesome, and dads

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Speaker 3: get eight weeks off and at least I know I

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Speaker 3: have that, Yeah, sort of if I'm still working, you're

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Speaker 3: gonna have a baby to have that kind of cushion.

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Speaker 3: But can you talk about, like I'm curious as an

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Speaker 3: entrepreneur's self, you know, your own your own business, how

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Speaker 3: are you going to plan your leave?

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Speaker 1: So I've been like, honestly like kind of like planning

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Speaker 1: now because I'm going to be thirty six, like I said,

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Speaker 1: and I mentioned, and my boyfriend and I have been

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Speaker 1: talking about marriage and kids. So right now, the way

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Speaker 1: my business is is that I start off at zero

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Speaker 1: basically like every month, meaning like my income, I never

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Speaker 1: know what's going to come in. People would just email

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Speaker 1: me and call me and say we want you to

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Speaker 1: speak or teach or whatever. And so as a month

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Speaker 1: rolls on, I make money. I cannot do that and

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Speaker 1: the kid because one you know, I'm gonna have to

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Speaker 1: be home. I do a lot of speaking around the country,

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Speaker 1: you know, So that's a worry for me. So I thought, well,

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Speaker 1: how am I going to make this work? So one

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Speaker 1: of the things I'm implementing is I'm looking for other

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Speaker 1: ways to make passive income. So I have two books

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Speaker 1: that do fairly well. I'm coming out with a children's

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Speaker 1: book hopefully that will boost up my income. In two

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Speaker 1: I'm launching this academy called the Live Richer Academy, where

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Speaker 1: it's going to be like a monthly fee and you

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Speaker 1: can take classes on investing in business and all this

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And so the Live Richer Academy will

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Speaker 1: definitely help to put regular income into my stream without

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Speaker 1: me having to leave the house because I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to be able to, at least not for a while.

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Speaker 1: So I'd love to hear what the BA audience has

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Speaker 1: to say. Tweet us at the BA Podcast. You can

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Speaker 1: find us on Facebook at Brown Ambition and you can

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Speaker 1: email us at Brownambitionpodcast at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Let us know. Are you and Baby Limbo? What is

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Speaker 2: your story?

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Speaker 1: We'd love to hear it, maybe share it next time

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Speaker 1: we're on.

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Speaker 3: Well, thank y'all so much for walking down memory lane.

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Speaker 3: It is so crazy to listen to ourselves six years ago.

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Speaker 3: You know, I used to get onto myself for not

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Speaker 3: ever journaling like I'm supposed to be doing. I'm a

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Speaker 3: writer or whatever, right, But then I remembered I have

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Speaker 3: got two hundred and eighty hours of journaling because every

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Speaker 3: episode it feels like we are just sharing what's happening

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Speaker 3: in our lives and in the world. So we've got

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Speaker 3: this little time capsule. It's really cool to look back

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Speaker 3: and to hear what we were going through just six

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Speaker 3: years ago.

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Speaker 1: I know. I love that we call like our husband's

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Speaker 1: not boyfriends, like our boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean like he might make it. We don't know.

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Speaker 2: We've grown up so much.

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Speaker 3: So now it is time for the second half of

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Speaker 3: our throwback episode. Like we told you guys, this is

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Speaker 3: a special one. This is one of our favorite guests

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Speaker 3: of twenty twenty doctor Imani Walker, as a trained physician

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Speaker 3: in general adult psychiatry. Doctor Imani was one of our

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Speaker 3: favorite guests because she joined us to talk about how

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Speaker 3: we could truly cope mentally, physically, health wise with all

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Speaker 3: that is happening while we were struggling with quarantine, and

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Speaker 3: now that we are heading back into the cold, cold,

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Speaker 3: falling winter season of twenty twenty one, it seems like

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Speaker 3: it just seems like deja vu. So I wanted to

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Speaker 3: bring back doctor Aimani and hopefully y'all will benefit from

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Speaker 3: some of her tips on how we can just be

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Speaker 3: a little bit kinder and nicer to ourselves as we

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Speaker 3: finish out the year.

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Speaker 1: Cute let music, and we're back and browner. We have

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Speaker 1: the amazing, the beautiful, the intelligent, and the real doctor Amiani.

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Speaker 4: Okay, now I like that, hire everybody and hie to

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Speaker 4: you guys. I like that, though, yes it is browner

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Speaker 4: just because I'm here. So so yeah, I'm totally like,

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Speaker 4: I'm so highed to like meet you guys virtually because

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Speaker 4: new normal. But yeah, like this is this is great.

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Speaker 4: I'm super happy to be here.

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Speaker 3: So doctor Amani, you have been a practicing psychiatrist for

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Speaker 3: how long?

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Speaker 4: Now let's see my I'm like looking at one of

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Speaker 4: my degrees on the wall in my office. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 4: that's all right. Sorry, Yeah, like that really wasn't a flex,

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Speaker 4: but I realize now it sounds like one of my degrees,

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Speaker 4: one of my four things on the wall.

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Speaker 3: You pay for them. Let's let's respect.

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Speaker 4: Well okay, I will, I will admit, like, honestly I

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Speaker 4: didn't pay for them. My parents did, right, So so

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Speaker 4: I actually spoke about my mom. I spoke to my

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Speaker 4: mom about this because we have a YouTube show. Actually

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Speaker 4: that we usually do it every Monday, so I have

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Speaker 4: to do that in a couple hours. But I never

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Speaker 4: let anyone know in school that I didn't receive financial

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Speaker 4: aid or that I had a scholarship. So I would

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Speaker 4: always memorize where the financial aid office was, because is

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Speaker 4: at the end of the year, apparently you have to

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Speaker 4: do like your financial aid wrap up, and I don't

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Speaker 4: know anything about Like I've heard of loans like Stafford

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Speaker 4: loans and stuff, but that didn't apply to me. So

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Speaker 4: I would just memorize where the financial aid office was

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Speaker 4: because I didn't want people to know, you know, that

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Speaker 4: my basically my parents saved up for it. And I

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Speaker 4: did have a scholarship. My alma maters is Xavier University

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Speaker 4: in New Orleans, and I had an academic scholarship. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 4: but yeah, I never My mother told me when I

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Speaker 4: was a senior in high school. She was like, well,

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Speaker 4: you know, if you want to go to a school

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Speaker 4: in the Northeast, and I'd gotten into like Wesleyan and Vassar,

386
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Speaker 4: which is my mom's alma mater, she was like, you

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Speaker 4: can do that. But she like she was really really

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Speaker 4: adamant about me going to Xavier because I wanted to

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Speaker 4: be a doctor, and it's basically a black doctor factory

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Speaker 4: and has been for decades. So she was like, here's

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Speaker 4: the thing. We can pay for your college because it's

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Speaker 4: significantly cheaper, like was much much cheaper than Northeast, like

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Speaker 4: Ivy League suition. She was like, I can pay for

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Speaker 4: you a college, you can get a car, you know,

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Speaker 4: basically like you can be out here. But when but

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Speaker 4: if you go to a school in the Northeast, you're

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Speaker 4: gonna have to take out loans. And I was like,

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Speaker 4: well then no, I was like, I'm not doing that,

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Speaker 4: so my my. So basically that's what happened. So when

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Speaker 4: I would be at a college, like I said, at Xavier,

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Speaker 4: and then when I was in med school, I knew

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Speaker 4: I mean, the majority of people that I knew who

403
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Speaker 4: were my med school class were on scholarship or you know,

404
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Speaker 4: received financial aid. But and I knew where the office was,

405
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Speaker 4: I knew the building, but I had just never been

406
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Speaker 4: in the office because it didn't apply to me. So

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Speaker 4: it's amazing.

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Speaker 3: I love that story and also how odd that you

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Speaker 3: were ashamed of something that was so amazing.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it was, I mean, honestly, it wasn't that I

411
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Speaker 4: was fearful of anyone shaming me, And I wasn't. I

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Speaker 4: wasn't ashamed of having like my friends know, like the

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Speaker 4: brown and black you know that I had. It was

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Speaker 4: more so like I was like, I don't want these

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Speaker 4: white people to know because then like it's like, oh so,

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Speaker 4: because the assumption is you're on financial aid when we

417
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Speaker 4: all know that white women benefit the most from you know,

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Speaker 4: affirmative action and in those types of scholarships, right or

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Speaker 4: those types of situations. I just didn't want to have

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Speaker 4: the conversation of like, Okay, you know, my parents are

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Speaker 4: very they're they're very what's the word I'm looking for.

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Speaker 4: They're very austere and that's what they taught me, and

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Speaker 4: that's what they taught like, you know, my cousins and

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Speaker 4: everybody else in my family. So I always saw money

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Speaker 4: as a tool and not something to just be spent,

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Speaker 4: and I guess I didn't want anybody to think that like,

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Speaker 4: oh so you think you'll all that. So I actually

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Speaker 4: I haven't admitted this to anybody outside of my circle

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Speaker 4: of friends. I don't think until like this year, because

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Speaker 4: I just didn't. I just didn't want I just didn't

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Speaker 4: want people to know. I'm like, if that's my personal business.

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Speaker 4: And then also the way I grew up, it was like,

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Speaker 4: you know, you keep your findential business to yourself. So

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Speaker 4: we always I guess, I mean like we were solidly

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Speaker 4: middle class. Then we became middle upper class, but we

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Speaker 4: still you know, went to Sam's Club, went to Costco.

437
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 4: Like my mom grew up on welfare. My dad wasn't

438
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 4: on welfare, but he he you know, just had two

439
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 4: hard working parents that weren't getting a lot of money

440
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 4: in did Jim Crow South. So I was just taught

441
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 4: to you know, like, yes, money, but like it, you know,

442
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 4: it ain't for you, like you, Oh you want outfit,

443
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 4: that's that's cute, Go get a job. So I've been

444
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 4: working since I was fourteen, ever since you could have

445
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 4: get your working papers in New York. Yes, I remember that.

446
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, work to go to the high school and get

447
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:39,439
Speaker 2: your market papers.

448
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 4: Working this summer, yeah, I used. I went to this.

449
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 4: There was a school. I went to Calhoun on eighty

450
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 4: first in West and Manhattan, and there was like a

451
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 4: I don't know if it was like a special needs

452
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 4: school or something similar. It was like a block away

453
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 4: and I remember when I was fourteen, I went over

454
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 4: there and got my working papers, and I've been working.

455
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 4: So if I'm forty four now, i've been working for

456
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 4: thirty years. Wow. Yeah, So anyway, I'm sorry how to

457
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 4: answer your question because I just.

458
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 3: Did I even ask a question.

459
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 4: This story. I have so many follow ups I have,

460
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 4: like I can go on Tannis. So just like you know,

461
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 4: be like Emani. Okay, tap out you do from your

462
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 4: own podcast? Can we just say Imani's state of Mind?

463
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 4: Check it out? I love it.

464
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 3: I listened to the one of the most recent episodes yesterday.

465
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:31,479
Speaker 3: Oh nice, nice normal podcast on today. It's super fun.

466
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,640
Speaker 3: I've been So I've been a practicing physician since two

467
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 3: thousand and nine.

468
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 4: That's all right, that was my question.

469
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, but no, I love it. No ten years wait,

470
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 3: two thousand and five, so fifteen years, No, two thousand

471
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,239
Speaker 3: and nine. So two thousand and nine, I've finished my

472
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,640
Speaker 3: fellowship in forensic psychiatry. So since then pretty much I've

473
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 3: been treating psychiatric patients.

474
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 4: So you are well, So business must be booming. Yes,

475
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 4: business is booming. I would say, I mean, like straight up,

476
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 4: when this, when all this happened, like I freaked out,

477
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 4: like everybody else because it was basically it was like Friday,

478
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 4: and I'm out here in LA so it was like

479
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 4: I think it was March thirteenth or something like that. Friday,

480
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 4: it was like, okay, so we're probably gonna be on

481
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 4: quarantine and I was like, okay, well, I don't really

482
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 4: know what that means, like as it pertains to me.

483
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,719
Speaker 4: And then Monday, we were all on lockdown and I

484
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 4: was like, oh my God, like, do I have a

485
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 4: job Stille? What am I gonna do? So I've pretty

486
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 4: much been exclusively seeing patients via telehealth, so either by

487
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 4: video conferencing or by the via telephone. And is business booming? Yes?

488
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 4: I work at a hospital. I am the medical director

489
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 4: and also the chief medical officer at a mental health

490
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 4: hospital out here in Los Angeles called Gateways Hospital. And

491
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 4: the patients that I see, because I have a forensic

492
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 4: psychiatry background, these are patients who came from jail or

493
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 4: came from the state mental hospital. They might have committed

494
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 4: to some really like really egregious crimes, but it was

495
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 4: due to their symptoms from mental illness. So I basically

496
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 4: get them stable and keep them stable. So it hasn't

497
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 4: it hasn't necessarily increased for me. It's it just I

498
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 4: had to change the mode with what I had to

499
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 4: change the mode of how I was seeing my patients,

500
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 4: which honestly, I really I really like being at home honestly.

501
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 4: I mean, I think we've both talked about how we

502
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 4: were introverts. M h yeah.

503
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 3: The intersection between mental health and what's happening right now.

504
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 3: I mean, everything happening in the world is just a

505
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 3: lot right now. And I feel like it is the

506
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 3: exact right moment to have you on because we're like

507
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: five or six months into this thing, and I was

508
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 3: telling Tiffl, like, we really haven't taken a step back

509
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 3: to pause and examine sort of how has this affected

510
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 3: us all? So, I mean, what would you say, I

511
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: know that your you know, your patients have like you

512
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 3: were saying, you know, severe mental illness, But what are

513
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 3: sort of like, can you break down, like mentally sort

514
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 3: of what it is, what's happening to us, what's going on?

515
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 4: Why anxiety is up?

516
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 3: It feels like people who had maybe low grade depression

517
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 3: before are probably more prone to having it pop up now.

518
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 3: I mean, like, TIF, how's it been for you? Like

519
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 3: I feel like we just need someone to explain to

520
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 3: us what's happening and how we can like cope.

521
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 2: Yes, it's been there were especially in the beginning.

522
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: At first I was like, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

523
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 1: I'm not good, you know, And then so there's just

524
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 1: been this wave of good, not good, good, not good.

525
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: And I remember last night I was scrolling through social

526
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: and I literally had to say no. My husband wanted

527
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 1: to show me one of those videos. We all know

528
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: what I mean, what we mean by like, you know,

529
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,680
Speaker 1: black dead, black beaten bodies, And I said, honestly, Babe,

530
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: I refuse, I refuse. I'm not looking at any more

531
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: of those videos.

532
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: I'm not. It's too much, it's too much.

533
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's how I'm feeling that I'm feeling that

534
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: I'm feeling in a place where I feel like I'm

535
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: striving hard to protect my peace because it's just all

536
00:25:58,840 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 1: too much.

537
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 4: Yeah. I have always known that, Like, I'm not good

538
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 4: with seeing people in the act of being hurt or

539
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 4: being tortured, Like I don't want to invite that into

540
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 4: my space loud. I'm fine with, you know, picking up

541
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 4: the pieces and helping someone after the fact, but for me,

542
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 4: all I need to know is like, okay, so tell

543
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 4: me what happened. Okay, great, those are the facts, all right, now,

544
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,920
Speaker 4: how do we get it better? I haven't watched one video,

545
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 4: probably since I'm not even lying, probably since Rodney King.

546
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm not watching this shit, like I'm not.

547
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 4: I don't need to invite that into my space. So

548
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 4: you know, I'll look at the news, like not look

549
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 4: at it, but I'll read the news from my news

550
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 4: app on my phone for like fifteen minutes and a day,

551
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 4: and then that's it because everything else is like speculative

552
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 4: and conjecture and things that you know. I don't know

553
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 4: if you guys have been noticing this, but like the

554
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 4: news that that bubbles up through the COVID cracks, if

555
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 4: you will, is some wild shit.

556
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it has to take away the headlines from COVID.

557
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 4: It's wild. I saw like apparently there's like I mean,

558
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 4: it's summertime, but you know, kids in cars overheating and dying,

559
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 4: and some there was some woman who like kills her grandparents.

560
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 4: Like it's just it's so much weird ness that's going on.

561
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 4: So I purposefully don't like if there's a video I'm like,

562
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 4: I'm watching that, like I'm not.

563
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 3: Trying to be a pandemic. It's also it's this reckoning

564
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 3: we're happening. We're happening, Yeah, I can talk. We're having

565
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 3: with the reality of what it's like to be black

566
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 3: in America, black and brown in America, and that is

567
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 3: happening at the same time where like everyone's lives are

568
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 3: at risk and the world's on fire and the pandemic's happening.

569
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 3: I mean, so you mentioned killer Locus.

570
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 4: I'm just kidding. There's no killer Locus. There's killer wasps

571
00:27:58,760 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 4: or something.

572
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: Right, there's aliens on Venus today, I was.

573
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 3: There's aliens on Venus. Can we join them? Do they

574
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 3: like you know, you know, can I apply for admission?

575
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 4: I don't know. I saw that, but I was like,

576
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 4: this is the nerd in me. I'm like, is that possible?

577
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 4: Because I think Venus is like a gaseous planet. But whatever, whatever, Again,

578
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 4: let's not even focus on that because I'm super nerd.

579
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 4: I'll nerd out.

580
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 3: So let's my knowledge of Venus is like sailor Moon

581
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 3: from you know, high school, that's where as it goes.

582
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 3: But so okay, But but fifteen minutes so limiting news.

583
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 3: I think that's something that I need to do that

584
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 3: because I am obsessed with telling my Google, Like I'm like, hey, Google,

585
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 3: tell me the news just whenever I have downtime or

586
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 3: I'm cooking or like walking the dog. I just I

587
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 3: come kind of obsessed with listening tones. But you're right,

588
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 3: like it doesn't really change, but something about that has

589
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 3: become like a tick for me to want to consume

590
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 3: it just to see if something new has happened, or

591
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 3: if there's new information.

592
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 4: There's something I I was told last week I was

593
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 4: doing this. I was being recorded for this documentary about

594
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 4: millennials and mental health, and my topic was anxiety. And

595
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 4: there was an interesting term the producer used, which was

596
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 4: what do you call it? Doom scrolling? And I was like,

597
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 4: I was like, what's scy app? But it sounded like

598
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 4: I mean again, I'm a nerd. It sounded I was like,

599
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 4: is that like Ninja scroll? Like the anime movie from

600
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 4: back in the day. He was like me, now, I

601
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 4: was like, okay, sorry, but it was but he so

602
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 4: who What he explained was doom scrolling is the act

603
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 4: of basically like what you what you explained, like you're

604
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 4: in your in your news app, or you know, you

605
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 4: ask your nearest AI, you know, machine, Alexis, Siri, whoever, like, oh,

606
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 4: tell me the news, be cause it's it's everything is

607
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 4: so out of our control. And just being able to

608
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 4: at least, you know, ask and ask your phone or

609
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 4: ask your device, Hey, can you tell me the news

610
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 4: is somehow comforting because it's something we can control. But

611
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 4: then when we start to actually read or it's we're

612
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 4: told the news, we consume the news. We are trying

613
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 4: to gain more control of our lives. But the problem

614
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 4: is that, like I said before, there are certain things

615
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:19,959
Speaker 4: that are factual in the news. There are a lot

616
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 4: of things in the news that are factual, but there's

617
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 4: a lot that there's a lot of a lot of

618
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 4: news stories that are very speculative, like we think Biden

619
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 4: might win, Oh, but we think Trump might win. We

620
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 4: might think that, and it's and it's it's not doing

621
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 4: us any good. I understand that these news outlets need content,

622
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: but it's not doing us the public, any favors, because

623
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 4: it's just creating this this's creating this mood of like

624
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 4: I don't give a fuck, but then I'm mad, anxious

625
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 4: all the time, it's like, you know, it's like, well,

626
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 4: I'm anxious because I don't know what's going to happen

627
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 4: day to day. But then at the same time, it's like, well, okay,

628
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 4: well what do you want to do? Like I don't

629
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 4: know what can I do. I can't go outside, I

630
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 4: can't go do hood rashit with my friends. I can't like,

631
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 4: you know, like you do, like I can't like I

632
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 4: can't like be me. So to answer your question from

633
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 4: like five minutes ago, my bad. I think what's been

634
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 4: happening as far as let's you know, let's use doom

635
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 4: scrolling as an example, is very similar to what happened

636
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 4: in the beginning of the pandemic with the toilet paper, right, So,

637
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 4: why did everyone suddenly want toilet paper? Why did everyone

638
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 4: suddenly want bottled water? Like it's not like, oh, we

639
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 4: have a pandemic now the water is the water is poisoned.

640
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 4: It's not poisoned. It's just that we wanted to be

641
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 4: able to have control of something when everything else was

642
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 4: completely chaotic, like our world's turned upside down. I went

643
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 4: from you know, being a work on a Friday and

644
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 4: now I'm home on a Monday, Like, oh, what am

645
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 4: I supposed to do now? And that was really that's

646
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 4: that was really scary to a lot of us because

647
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 4: we maintained schedule and our mind our minds were maintaining

648
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 4: routines that even if the routines were annoying, like sitting

649
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 4: in traffic or you know, having to go to work

650
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 4: and talk to your coworker who you don't like, they

651
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 4: were still things that your mind could count on. So

652
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 4: humans are, first of all, social creatures, and we're also

653
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 4: creatures of habit. And when you take away both, you're

654
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 4: gonna have what we now have, which is probably the

655
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 4: largest global mental health crisis that we've ever encountered. So

656
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 4: if we're going to talk about, you know, why do

657
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 4: people feel this way? Even why do I feel this

658
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 4: way sometimes because again, we're used to habit and we're

659
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 4: used to structure and it's gone. It's gone. Like we're

660
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 4: trying to, you know, six seven months in, I can

661
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 4: honestly say that I have a better structure, but it's

662
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 4: still not what the what I'm used to for the

663
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 4: majority of my life. So we're kind of just looking

664
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 4: for things to you know, get control over. I think

665
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 4: for you know, honestly, for people who are anti mask wearers. Yes,

666
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 4: it's silly to me as a physician, like why would

667
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 4: you not wear a mask? Like I respect myself and

668
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 4: even if you don't respect me, like you should respect

669
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 4: yourself and not want to get sick potentially for me.

670
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 4: But I think a lot of it is that they're like, Okay,

671
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 4: I can this is something I can control. I can

672
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 4: control whether I want to wear my mask or not,

673
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 4: even though you know, maybe I'll get a ticket depending

674
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 4: on the town or the city, or you know, maybe

675
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 4: somebody will yell at me, you know, depending upon the

676
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 4: business they answer. But it's I mean, it's become, unfortunately

677
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 4: and overwhelmingly very political. But it just reminds me a

678
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 4: lot of like we have to hold toilet paper and

679
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 4: water because you know, what's like, what's going to happen.

680
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 4: I'm like, I have no idea what was up with

681
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 4: the toilet paper thing. But I actually have like obsessive

682
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 4: compulsive personality disorder, so I have a habit of hoarding

683
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 4: cleaning products. Anyway, So I was actually pretty good, you said.

684
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 3: I do feel like the doomsday Ors, the Survivalists, they

685
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 3: really came out on top. Oh listen, but they were

686
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 3: life and like second their can beans for months.

687
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: Yes they're like I told you. And someone like my

688
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: mom who's a nurse and who was like.

689
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 3: I've been told John, I'll watched him filthy.

690
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 4: And exactly like yeah that day somebody. I mean, as

691
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 4: a physician, I've been around a lot of sticky, you know,

692
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 4: nasty kind of situations. But it really was until this

693
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,720
Speaker 4: pandemic that I was like, damn, like people are nasty,

694
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 4: Like y'all like collectively, like y'all do not wash your

695
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 4: hands like it used to be, you know, like I

696
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 4: would go out to the movies and then you know,

697
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 4: I would you know, go use the bathroom and go

698
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 4: wash my hands in the in the restroom and then

699
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 4: if there would always be like somebody in there who

700
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 4: wouldn't and we would all be like, oh, like she's nasty.

701
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 4: But you know it was because of you know, like

702
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 4: people like that are people who you know, oh, let

703
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 4: me drink after you, let me be all up in

704
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 4: your face. I mean that's you know. Unfortunately, how you

705
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,800
Speaker 4: know some of us got sick. Well, let's talk about

706
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 4: healthy ways of coping. I mean you mentioned sort of

707
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 4: like you want to control something, so like what are

708
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 4: the things we can do to bring back some sense

709
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,760
Speaker 4: of normalcy and control in our lives when everything feels

710
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:22,720
Speaker 4: like it's batshit crazy. Right. So, I think the first

711
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 4: thing to do is, and this is kind of the harder,

712
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 4: the hardest thing to do, is to admit that your stress.

713
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 4: Admit that you're anxious, Admit you're depressed, Admit that you

714
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 4: can't sleep, Admit to yourself that you know, even though

715
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 4: we've been in this for a long time, we're now

716
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 4: at the point where we're quote unquote used to it.

717
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 4: We're not on like a fundamental level, but it's like, Okay,

718
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 4: today's Monday, I'm going to do this. I look at

719
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 4: my schedule, I'm going to do that. But it's not

720
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 4: an ideal situation. So admitting that that you have an issue,

721
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 4: admitting that you are not comfortable, like things are not

722
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 4: right to the point where it might be interfering with

723
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 4: your day to day and interfering with your mental well

724
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 4: being is key. After that, I would think that the

725
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 4: best thing to do is for someone to talk to

726
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 4: someone they trust, because you'd be surprised, and I'm speaking

727
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 4: as somebody who has a history of depression and anxiety,

728
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 4: you'd be surprised or I was really surprised at how

729
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 4: helpful it was to get my feelings out of my body.

730
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 4: And when you're dealing with depression and anxiety, a lot

731
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 4: of it is guilt driven. It's like, well, I don't

732
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 4: want to burden this person, you know, with my personal

733
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 4: issues because they're going through all this stuff too. And

734
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 4: you know what, if that person is a real, real

735
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 4: friend to you and they really care about you and

736
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 4: love you, they'll listen to you and they'll you know,

737
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 4: kind of help you through it. And that person might

738
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 4: also be going through things, and you could also serve

739
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 4: as an inspiration but that you know, for your friend,

740
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 4: the loved one to be like you know what, like I,

741
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 4: you know, like, let's talk about this. I think the

742
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 4: third thing to do is to really set a routine.

743
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 4: And Mandy, you and I spoke yesterday and I definitely

744
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 4: agreed with you at the time, Like I like routine

745
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 4: versus schedule, Like a schedule sounds like, oh, this is

746
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 4: my class schedule for the day, like these are things

747
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 4: that like I have to do, but I don't really

748
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 4: want to do, versus a routine, which is like, oh,

749
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 4: I'm going to wake up at this time because that's

750
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 4: when I want to wake up, or that's when I

751
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 4: might need to wake up. It's a routine to me.

752
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 4: Sounds I mean, it's semantics, but it sounds like it's

753
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 4: more it's something that I can control. It's more manageable, so,

754
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 4: you know, depending upon you know, the person's you know,

755
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 4: lifestyle or what they need to do. I mean, I

756
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 4: remember in the beginning of the pandemic, I actually was

757
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 4: trying to schedule like cocktail hour during during the early evening,

758
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,760
Speaker 4: like I can maybe not yeah, like maybe not even drinks,

759
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 4: but like CANNOPI is like something like I was just

760
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:03,439
Speaker 4: like I need something to just make my day feel like, oh,

761
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 4: look at this, We're having a good time, right, And

762
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 4: then I think, you know, the other thing that people

763
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 4: really need to consider. And as terrible as this pandemic

764
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 4: has been for a lot of people, the one thing

765
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 4: that has really been great about it is that there

766
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 4: are actually it's actually easier to get hooked up with

767
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 4: mental health services because most mental health clinics aren't open,

768
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 4: but they do see patients or you know, or referrals

769
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 4: or clients via apps, via video chat, via telephone. Even

770
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,919
Speaker 4: so it really has, at least in psychiatry and psychology,

771
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 4: whereas telemedicine or telehealth was something that some of us

772
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 4: were into. Like now we all have to be into

773
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 4: it because if that's if we don't get used to it,

774
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 4: we don't get acclimated to it, we're not gonna have patients.

775
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 4: We're not going to be able to treat people and

776
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 4: have and help people feel better the way that we

777
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 4: need to right now. And you know, I think the

778
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 4: I think the last thing, and this is gonna sound,

779
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 4: you know, kind of obvious, like Captain obvious, but you

780
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 4: know I tell people. I tell my patients like, you know,

781
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,760
Speaker 4: if you if you don't have a pre existing medical

782
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 4: condition that's preventing you from going outside, like go outside,

783
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 4: Like go outside. Because I'm as an introvert, I love

784
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 4: being in the house. I'll stay in the house all

785
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 4: day long. But when I finally am like, okay, we

786
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 4: got to go outside, I'm like, oh my god, it's

787
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 4: so nice out here, like look look at this, like

788
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 4: look at these trees. Like I can feel the air

789
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 4: now right now in La and in California, like the

790
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 4: whole state's on fire. So that sometimes there's like yeah,

791
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,399
Speaker 4: maybe don't bring you deeply out there. Yeah, like yeah,

792
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 4: I mean I've been in the house for the past

793
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 4: like four or five days, so I'm starting to feel

794
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 4: a little bit antsy. But you know, I think exercise

795
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 4: is important, like you, like, we really need to find

796
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 4: what we can do to increase our levels of serotonin

797
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 4: in our brains so that we don't end up dipping

798
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 4: into depression anxiety, but unfortunately a lot of us have.

799
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 3: It almost brings up another important point you mentioned, like

800
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 3: guilt and shame. And I feel like there was this

801
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 3: something that happened with the pandemic where people who were

802
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 3: at home. It wasn't just like let's go outside. It's like, oh,

803
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 3: I'm gonna this is one I'm going to train for

804
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 3: a marathon or I'm going to learn how I'm going

805
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: to start the triathlon. I always wanted to do myself personally.

806
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 3: I got a peloton and I'm now it's something that

807
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,280
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, why am I not on the peloton?

808
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 3: Why do I not have a hundred rides yet? And

809
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 3: it's almost like, you know, you can take these little

810
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 3: things that maybe make you feel better, but then that

811
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 3: becomes the stick that you beat yourself with a little

812
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 3: bit when it comes to like guilt and shame.

813
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,399
Speaker 4: So how do we like talk, how can we just.

814
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 3: Give ourselves a break for not going so over the

815
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 3: top of this extra time that we perceive that we have.

816
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 3: And you know, like there's this idea that you can

817
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 3: win quarantine by learning a new hobby or a language.

818
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 4: Why are we doing that to ourselves? We're doing that

819
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 4: to ourselves because we were so go, go go before

820
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 4: the shutdown. So I remember distinctly, I'd wake up, I'd

821
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 4: go work out at six am. I'd come home, help

822
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 4: my son with his lunch and make him breakfast, take

823
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 4: him to school, come back home, run four miles, check

824
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 4: my schedule. Seem you know, like I was like the

825
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 4: amount of things I was cramming into a day was absurd.

826
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 4: It was absurd. And it wasn't until you know, I

827
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 4: was as we all were forced to take a step

828
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 4: back that I was like, what why are you doing this?

829
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 4: Like like, are you gonna win something at the end?

830
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 4: Like no. So once I was able to slow down,

831
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 4: it really afforded me the opportunity. I mean, it was hard,

832
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 4: but once I was able to slow down, I was

833
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 4: able to really just take stock up, you know, like

834
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 4: what do you want? Like what do you want out

835
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 4: of life? Not out of Wednesday, not out of this job?

836
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 4: Like what do you want? And I was like, honestly,

837
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm I've been grinding since two thousand. I

838
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:04,919
Speaker 4: had a med school two thousand. I'm like a bitch

839
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 4: is tired. I'm tired. I'm tired, you know, Like I

840
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 4: still want to, you know, see patients and make a difference,

841
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 4: but you know, I don't need to, you know, start

842
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 4: training for the for you know, a bodybuilding competition or whatever,

843
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 4: like these goals I had beforehand. It's it again, is

844
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:29,280
Speaker 4: is that it's that desire to have control of your life,

845
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 4: but by distracting yourselves. So there were a lot of

846
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 4: things that I was doing just just distract myself because

847
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 4: I had to realize that I wasn't happy. And when

848
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 4: I was able to do all of those things during

849
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 4: the day and just pack my day with stuff, did

850
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,240
Speaker 4: I feel better?

851
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 2: Maybe?

852
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 4: Superficially, like did I feel like I'd accomplished something? Yes?

853
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 4: And I think I equated accomplishing whatever it was quote

854
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 4: unquote with feeling good about myself. And once that, once

855
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,919
Speaker 4: this pandemic pulled the rug out from under us. We

856
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,839
Speaker 4: were searching for things to do. Like like I saw

857
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 4: some some meme on Instagram that was going around like

858
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 4: if you don't come out of this pandemic with the skill,

859
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 4: then you wasted your time. I'm like, first of all,

860
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,919
Speaker 4: don't tell me what to do. Okay, that's that's number one.

861
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 4: Number two is Number two is everybody should be allowed

862
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 4: and everybody is allowed to live their own life as

863
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 4: they see fit. And you know, do I do I

864
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 4: want to learn how to knit? Do I want to

865
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 4: learn how to you know, do needle? Point of course

866
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 4: I do, But this may not be the right time

867
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:45,800
Speaker 4: because I'm not able to full I don't have Like honestly,

868
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 4: we're at a point where we don't know what's gonna

869
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 4: happen tomorrow, Like I like, I legit, don't know whereas

870
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 4: before the shutdown, like you know, people would say metaphorically like, well,

871
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 4: you know, tomorrow's not promised, so live for today, and

872
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 4: you would feel it on like a certain level. But

873
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 4: now I feel it and I know that on a

874
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,240
Speaker 4: cellular level, like I do not know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

875
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 4: I don't I don't know what's gonna happen politically, I

876
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 4: don't know what's gonna happen, you know, news wise, I

877
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 4: don't know what's gonna happen regarding COVID, Like, you know,

878
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 4: are we due for the killer locuswarm that you know

879
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,919
Speaker 4: we should be experienced? What's the point of it? All?

880
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 4: About it?

881
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 3: Like rhy this is I'm like playing Devil's advocate. But

882
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 3: this is like a small part of me inside my

883
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 3: brain that I'm constantly trying to talk down off the

884
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 3: ledge is like what's the point in saving?

885
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 4: Why don't you just blow your money now? Like I

886
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 4: mean on what really?

887
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 3: But you know, I feel like financially people are and

888
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 3: you and I talked about this too, like the sense

889
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 3: of the structure that you have with your budget, Like

890
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 3: even something as simple as a household budget seems to

891
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 3: feel so silly or like doesn't really compute with today's world.

892
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 4: So how can you adjust? Like mentally, how you look

893
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 4: at your finances and your financial planning. So much of

894
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 4: that has to do with the future, which none of

895
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 4: us can predict right now. A lot of it, like

896
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 4: when we were talking before, a lot of for me,

897
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,800
Speaker 4: budgeting is very tied into my self worth because budgeting

898
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 4: involves money, and I have you know, we're in a

899
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 4: capitalistic We're in a capitalist society, so I have oftentimes

900
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:19,760
Speaker 4: equated more money equals you know, better better self worth,

901
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 4: which is really terrible in hindsight for me to have

902
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 4: even thought that, But that's really what we're taught, right,

903
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,359
Speaker 4: I would say that.

904
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I asked me that question again because I

905
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 1: totally forgot you are so much like me. I'm like,

906
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: doctor money, are we.

907
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 4: Like, uh no, it's cod yesterday. I'm like this, Like

908
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 4: I'll be like yeah, and then I'm like, wait, what

909
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 4: the future? The future?

910
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 3: How do we like make focial decisions today when it's

911
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 3: so hard for us to like remind like Wanda, we

912
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 3: were talking, Tiffany imagines herself in the future as Wanda

913
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 3: and everything she does is for Wanda, so Wanda can

914
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 3: be happy and you mean, like.

915
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 4: Love Wanda, Like I got you right.

916
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: I just wanted to sound like a sassy old lady

917
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 1: dad because I just see Wanda customer.

918
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 3: I mean, I.

919
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 4: Mean, I've always I've always I've always contended my spirit animal, yes,

920
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 4: because honestly, I mean, and that's that's kind of a

921
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 4: good point. To make right now Shannane was is I'm

922
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 4: guessing she's still alive in our consciousness. Shnane is a

923
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 4: small business owner. She does very well with her salon.

924
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 4: She has support, she had Key Lo Lo and her

925
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 4: other friend and every you know, and she every so

926
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 4: often she got to, you know, have fun. But for

927
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 4: the most part, Shannane was a hard worker. So I think,

928
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 4: you know, if I badge it myself, as Bartin's character

929
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 4: Art Lawren's character on Shanne like that that actually, I

930
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 4: mean real talk, that honestly is probably what I'm gonna

931
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 4: do when I get off this phone call, because I

932
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 4: do need to like work on my budget. But I

933
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 4: think that that's a good thing to do. Like what

934
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 4: like imagining yourself as Wanda, Yes, it's you. Yes, I

935
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 4: mean we're kind of used to in this day and

936
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 4: age with social media, imagining ourselves as an avatar. But

937
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 4: there's something in psychiatry psychology that we call like like

938
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 4: when you when I'm talking to somebody, let's say, who's

939
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 4: experiencing depression or has in the past, and I will

940
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 4: sometimes ask questions to determine if their goal oriented or

941
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 4: future oriented. Right, A lot of us are not goal

942
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 4: or future oriented right now, because we don't know what's

943
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 4: going to happen from day to day. But if we

944
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 4: can kind of imagine ourselves not as our Oh I'm

945
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,399
Speaker 4: going to be my best self. I'm going to run

946
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 4: this marathon. I'm gonna have like a thousand rides on

947
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 4: peloton this month. Like it's not that, it's not it's

948
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 4: not like goal oriented, like I hit this goal. It's

949
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 4: more so needs to be about imagining yourself in a

950
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 4: happy place despite what's going on. Because we are we're

951
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 4: in a new normal. It's not going to be the

952
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 4: same way as it was before. It isn't. I mean,

953
00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 4: I don't know anybody personally who would feel comfortable walking

954
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 4: around without a mask, like in the airport, in a restaurant,

955
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 4: and you know, like anything like that. So I think

956
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,840
Speaker 4: it is. I think it's good to focus on what

957
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 4: do I like. I want to be someone who is

958
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 4: at peace. I want to be someone who definitely feels confident.

959
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 4: And when it comes to budgeting, I know that I

960
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 4: was having a hard time last month because I actually

961
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 4: was starting to slip back into having some anxiety and depression,

962
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 4: and so I was telling Mandy this yesterday I was like,

963
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 4: you know, I like there were some bills that they

964
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,320
Speaker 4: were like Amie, are you gonna pay these bills? Or

965
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 4: like what's up? Because you usually do and now you're not.

966
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 4: And it was because I was just so cloudy with

967
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 4: my thoughts, because some of my depressive and my depression

968
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 4: and anxiety symptoms came back. And honestly, I would say

969
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 4: over the past two weeks, as I had my medication adjusted,

970
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 4: like I had it increased, I have been more go

971
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 4: with the flow, like water off a ducts back. But

972
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 4: I was, I mean, seriously, like dressing in bed, like

973
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 4: damn you didn't pay your and AT and T cell

974
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 4: phone bill, Like look at you, like like you like

975
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 4: you really fucking up right now? And it's not that serious.

976
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 4: It's not. It's just that I needed to get to

977
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 4: a better place where I felt better. So I think

978
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 4: that when it comes to budgeting, it's it's important, but

979
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,720
Speaker 4: I'm going to have to change my budget to reflect

980
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 4: the fact that like I don't go nowhere, I don't

981
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 4: have to I don't have to include my restaurant the

982
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 4: restaurant portion of my budget where that I would usually use.

983
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 4: Now I will say this last month when I wasn't

984
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 4: feeling that great. I was I was like, oh, nobody's

985
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 4: on Postmates word okay, like and then it's like, oh,

986
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 4: well that's going to cover it up. But then I

987
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,359
Speaker 4: ended up like feeling bad about it later because I

988
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 4: was like, you don't need to do that. So I

989
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 4: think we need to really look at the at a

990
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 4: budget or this this new normal budget as things that

991
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 4: we need not necessarily feel happy and great because I

992
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 4: bought a lot of dumb shit and I'm like, where

993
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 4: are you gonna go with them sneakers nowhere? Like you

994
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 4: don't need these things. But I think we really need

995
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 4: to just just look at you know, how can we

996
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 4: make things easier for us? How, you know, do we

997
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 4: need to outsource certain things? Does our budget allow for that?

998
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 4: Because it wasn't really until like maybe last year that

999
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I really need to like outsource

1000
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,240
Speaker 4: these things, like there are things that I can afford

1001
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 4: to outsource, or you know, there were even things that

1002
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 4: I would barter for other with other people with for

1003
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 4: other people with So you know, I think we need

1004
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 4: to get to a point, or people hopefully can get

1005
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 4: to a point where they feel they feel better about themselves.

1006
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 4: And that really might involve someone talking to a mental

1007
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 4: health therapist or a mental health clinician or a psychiatrist, psychologists,

1008
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 4: what have you, but also talking about like what are

1009
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 4: the things that make me me? What are the and

1010
00:50:56,440 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 4: maybe what are the negative coping strategy? Yes, that I

1011
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 4: was using before the pandemic, before COVID, that I've carried

1012
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 4: with me into this pandemic snacks.

1013
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 2: Yes, I was just looking all of that in.

1014
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 4: To have you've been quiet? What are you thinking over there?

1015
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 2: I've just been thinking that.

1016
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 1: Like one of the what I love, well, I guess

1017
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 1: if there is any bright side to all of this

1018
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 1: darkness is how comfortable people have gotten talking about therapy

1019
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,760
Speaker 1: and suggesting therapy to each other. And when I mean people,

1020
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 1: I mean black folks. That never was a thing. It

1021
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 1: was like gree you better pray. No one talked about therapy,

1022
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 1: and it's just become like I just said it to

1023
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:43,919
Speaker 1: someone the other day.

1024
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, well you know, have you considered therapy?

1025
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,799
Speaker 1: They're like yeah, yeah, even like my CHURCHI friends, which

1026
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: is like, I mean, you know, that was never a thing.

1027
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 1: Like when I have a super churchy friend and she

1028
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I talk to my therapist today was

1029
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: so great, and I just thought, you know, if there

1030
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: is a bright side is the fact that people are

1031
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:06,320
Speaker 1: understanding that you need help and that going to therapy

1032
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 1: is not a replacement for God in prayer, and that

1033
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 1: they can work in tandem together.

1034
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 4: Thank you, you know.

1035
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: And I'm loving because people like you know, like Sarah

1036
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 1: Jakes Robert, she says that all the time, which I

1037
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 1: love because so many people look up to her TJ's daughter,

1038
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,439
Speaker 1: and so yeah, So I guess I was just thinking

1039
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,399
Speaker 1: about that because quite honestly, I've been dragging my feet.

1040
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: I've been needing a therapist. I want a black woman

1041
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 1: for the longest, just to there are what I do.

1042
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 1: I have several companies that I want. It could be

1043
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,359
Speaker 1: really stressful and sometimes I won't even know that I'm

1044
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: stressed until I'm like, yeah, so what's the last time

1045
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: you slept fully? You know, So just having a place

1046
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: to because I'm like the go to for everyone. There's

1047
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: literally times when I feel like I'm everyone's pulling a

1048
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: finger a toe. Yes, I'm just like like what people

1049
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:54,320
Speaker 1: are like, I text you, I'm like I have fifty

1050
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:54,959
Speaker 1: unread text.

1051
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 2: Text is a new email.

1052
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,839
Speaker 1: I mean so yeah, So, I mean, I just think

1053
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 1: that if if anything else, it just is like TIVI

1054
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:03,879
Speaker 1: and A, you need to find a therapist. I don't

1055
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 1: know why I've been dragging my feet. I guess I'm

1056
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 1: just like, ugh, I don't feel like interviewing people and

1057
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 1: figuring out the right person, and how am I going

1058
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 1: to make time for them? I don't even have time

1059
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 1: for myself.

1060
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:16,440
Speaker 4: True, But then you know, it's funny, there was something there.

1061
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 4: There was like this work. It was like busy work

1062
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 4: that I had to complete for my job, and I

1063
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 4: finally got around to like finishing it today and I

1064
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 4: was like, it's gonna say so long, and I don't

1065
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 4: feel like doing it. It literally was data entry like this.

1066
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 4: It was not a big deal. And then today when

1067
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 4: I was doing it now that like, I'm not you know,

1068
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 4: my motivation is better because I'm not depressed. I was like, eman,

1069
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 4: you could have been done that, but I didn't get

1070
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 4: on myself about it. I was like, you know what,

1071
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 4: we're going to use this as a you know, a

1072
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 4: learning point, Like you didn't do it before because you

1073
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 4: weren't feeling right, and you got some help and now

1074
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 4: you feel better, and that's okay, so I will. But

1075
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 4: something that you said just now reminded me of the

1076
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 4: fact that a lot of people, and I think, especially

1077
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 4: like I'm Generation X because I'm I'm almost forty five,

1078
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 4: so but Generation X, the baby boomers, they always get

1079
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 4: on millennials and Gen Z like, oh, you are so

1080
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 4: lazy and youing your cell phones and this, that and

1081
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 4: the third. But honestly, I think not think. I definitely

1082
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 4: know just by following social media trends and whatnot, that

1083
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 4: if it weren't for the black millennials, we would not

1084
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 4: be talking about therapy like it's nothing like oh yeah,

1085
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 4: like cause they'll legit be like, oh I got a therapist,

1086
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 4: I got an individual therapist, I got a group therapist.

1087
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:35,640
Speaker 4: Then I have a therapist that I check in with

1088
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 4: like every two months. Like they're very pro therapy. And

1089
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:44,720
Speaker 4: as much as they were maligned and for I guess

1090
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 4: for being like the quote unquote adderall generation, they are

1091
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 4: really taking up the charge to just make it very normal.

1092
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 4: And I really appreciate that. You're welcome.

1093
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:02,800
Speaker 1: Many millennial and I'm I'm generating next as well. I'm

1094
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 1: forty doctor money, so I'm Generation lm X as well.

1095
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 1: So Mindy's are a local millennial. I'm almost like, what

1096
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 1: did the millennials say? Even though sometimes Mandy's like an

1097
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: old lady, I'm like, girl, get with it.

1098
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 3: I'm a layered and complex individual like everyone else. I

1099
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 3: guess it's just like, don't feel it's it's the it's

1100
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 3: the negative thought spiral, which is and this is for

1101
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,280
Speaker 3: me and food because listen, my coping mechanism is food.

1102
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 3: And I am really appalled at how much weight I

1103
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 3: put on in this pandemic. But it's almost like the

1104
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 3: shame of the eating habits that have plagued me for

1105
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 3: my entire life stops me from doing the things that

1106
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 3: I know I can do to make myself feel better,

1107
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:48,320
Speaker 3: and then I feel bad. So then I just layered

1108
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,200
Speaker 3: on with more food. And it's it's this like self

1109
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: fulfilling negative prophecy that man, I'm just like, and I

1110
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,800
Speaker 3: start beating myself up because I'm like Jesus Christ, like,

1111
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 3: you're thirty something years old, shouldn't you be for this

1112
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 3: by now? This isn't cute, But again that we're just

1113
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 3: we're so hard on ourselves, and I this conversation right

1114
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:09,799
Speaker 3: now is just reminding me like we just as much

1115
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 3: as as much as I say it, I know intellectually

1116
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,839
Speaker 3: I need to be nicer to myself and just like

1117
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 3: one day after the next. But it's it's really hard

1118
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:25,280
Speaker 3: to like be a human today, a black human, a woman, human, age, location, whatever,

1119
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,320
Speaker 3: just a human in your specific part.

1120
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 4: Of the world. Well, it's interesting that you mentioned like

1121
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 4: like you're trying to intellectualize your your desire to want

1122
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 4: to make yourself feel better by eating, right, So not

1123
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 4: that I mean I'm using an eating disorder as an example.

1124
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 4: I'm not saying you have eating disorder, but yeah, but

1125
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 4: probably I do go ahead when but when people are

1126
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 4: when people let's say, have binge eating disorder or even

1127
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:58,760
Speaker 4: anorexia nervosa or bulimia where they binge and then they purge.

1128
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 4: I used to act work at a hospital, an inpatient hospital,

1129
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 4: with patients who had really really severe eating disorders, and

1130
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 4: the one thing that they all told me, whether they

1131
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 4: were binging, they're binging food or restricting their food or

1132
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 4: purging their food, is that they would get high from

1133
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 4: the maladaptive behavior. So anorexics get high when they're not

1134
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 4: like when I guess when their blood sugar drops. I

1135
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 4: don't know because I'm not innarexic, but they do feel

1136
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 4: this state of euphoria, and it's kind of similar when

1137
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 4: you know, I would say most of us, myself included,

1138
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 4: have gained weight during this pandemic because it's like like

1139
00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 4: last month, I was like, donuts are amazing, and that's

1140
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 4: really it. So I'd like six, and I'm gonna eat

1141
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 4: them every day. I'm gonna eat six donuts every day,

1142
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 4: and that's that because it is boosting your serotonin in

1143
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 4: your brain and that's making you feel better, but temporarily,

1144
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 4: and then the guilts and the shame sets in. So

1145
00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 4: it's interesting that you know, you, even me, we like

1146
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 4: we're creatures that we can Human beings are are creatures

1147
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 4: that can, you know, intellectualize anything. So it's like, oh, well,

1148
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 4: why do I keep doing this? I've been doing this

1149
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 4: since I was a kid. It's not something that you

1150
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 4: can really, it's not something that you woke up one

1151
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 4: day and decided to do. It's something that your brain decided, well,

1152
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,919
Speaker 4: is your serotonin lo, then let's eat everything and then

1153
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 4: and then we'll feel better for maybe like thirty minutes.

1154
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 4: So again, like what you just said in terms of

1155
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 4: you know, we need to stop beating beating each other

1156
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 4: up so much. It's that's really what it is. And

1157
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 4: I know it's easier said than done, but I've really

1158
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 4: been trying to on the daily, like just think about

1159
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 4: things like you know what, like, oh, you had to

1160
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 4: pay that parking ticket. You know what, it happens, pay

1161
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 4: the parking ticket, like whereas before I would just look

1162
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 4: at it and then just get mad and then I

1163
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 4: flip it over and then you know, I'm like a

1164
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 4: day before I'm gonna get you know, I have to

1165
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 4: owe the city double. Like There's so many things that

1166
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 4: I have personally guilted myself over that completely make no sense,

1167
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 4: but that was a function of me having symptoms of

1168
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 4: mental illness.

1169
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 3: I feel like we could keep talking and talking and

1170
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 3: talking talking, Doctor Money, It's been really amazing you having

1171
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 3: amazing you. It's been so amazing having you on the

1172
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 3: show today. I just mean it's been amazing you both.

1173
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you, thank you. Where can people find

1174
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 3: out more about you and what you have going on?

1175
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 4: Now? Okay? Sure, So I'm doctor Emani. I have all

1176
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 4: social media pretty much, but I would say the place

1177
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 4: that I'm most active is Instagram. So I can be

1178
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 4: found on Instagram at doctor d O C t O

1179
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:53,680
Speaker 4: R dot Imani. I also have a website of the

1180
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 4: same name. It's but it's doctor Hyphenemani dot com. People

1181
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 4: can find me on YouTube just search for my name again,

1182
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 4: it's doctor the word spelled out. Imani and I have

1183
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 4: a podcast which is called Imani's State of Mind, and

1184
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 4: it's pretty much everywhere there are streaming there's a streaming

1185
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 4: podcast platform. Amani State of Mind is essentially me and

1186
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 4: one of my best friends, and we talk about mental

1187
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,919
Speaker 4: health and mental illness and wellness, but we talk about

1188
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 4: it in a very casual, pop culture based situation, so

1189
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 4: it's it's not it's not it's not a sad podcast.

1190
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 4: Like we're definitely giggling the whole time and just like

1191
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 4: just acting silly. But you know, I'm someone who that's

1192
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 4: my personality. I'm just kind of goofy by nature, and

1193
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 4: that's how I am with my patients and my friends,

1194
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:46,800
Speaker 4: and so I wanted to at least show people that

1195
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 4: mental health doesn't have to be dour and sad and scary.

1196
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 4: It actually can be a lot of fun. So that's

1197
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 4: that's really kind of like my baby, So that's why

1198
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 4: I spent so much time explaining that. But but yeah,

1199
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:03,800
Speaker 4: Emani state of Mind, YouTube, Instagram, my website. I guess

1200
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 4: if you want to see me, you could always go

1201
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 4: to Bravo dot com. Sorry, BravoTV dot com. I'm one

1202
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 4: of the cast members of Married to Medicine Los Angeles. Yeah,

1203
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:17,280
Speaker 4: and I think I pretty much exhausted all of my

1204
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 4: oh my avenues. What's your address? I know, right, Okay,

1205
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 4: So I'm just kidding. Well, thank you so so much.

1206
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 4: This was illuminating.

1207
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like if every therapist was like you,

1208
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 3: people would not be afraid to go to therapist.

1209
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so nice. Yeah, I'm an open book because

1210
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 4: I'm like, I mean, the patients that I see, I

1211
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 4: have clients, so because people are going to ask us,

1212
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, what'd you say? I said?

1213
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 3: People are going to ask us. Yeah, how can I

1214
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 3: get an appointment with doctor Amani?

1215
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 4: So okay, I have been I have been considering reopening

1216
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 4: my private practice because that actually has been occurring more.

1217
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 4: But the patients that I see are actually their referrals

1218
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 4: through the hospital I work for, So I would I

1219
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 4: would say, probably the best way to get in a

1220
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 4: quote unquote appointment with me is to listen to my podcast.

1221
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 3: It's really good, y'all listen to the most recent when

1222
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 3: the New Normal, and it felt like your friend on

1223
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 3: the other end of it was like everybody else just like,

1224
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 3: don't tell me it's the new normal. I refuse to

1225
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 3: believe it. Yeah, Cam as well, but yeah, we had

1226
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 3: we have a really good time. But yeah, I just

1227
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 3: wanted to have somebody on my podcast that would be

1228
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:31,440
Speaker 3: the common person as opposed to me. Who you know,

1229
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 3: if if, if you you know, keeps talking to me,

1230
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna start sounding like, you know, a professor, and

1231
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:37,440
Speaker 3: I don't want to do that.

1232
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 4: You went to Xavier. True yeah, true, the doctor fact

1233
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:46,320
Speaker 4: true true true true.

1234
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 3: All right, well y'all go check out Doctor and Money everywhere,

1235
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 3: and thank you again Doctor Money for coming on Brown Ambition.

1236
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 4: Of course, thank you. This was super fun. I'm glad

1237
01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 4: I got to meet you guys.