Speaker 1: Oh you're listening to mess ah wow.
Speaker 2: Wow another day, another dollar, another mess.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean today was one of those days where I
Speaker 2: was like, I am, I'm gonna be late again.
Speaker 4: But you know, I love when you're late because it's
Speaker 4: like one takes a little pressure off my back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but do you care even if I am one time,
Speaker 2: You're like whatever, they know what time?
Speaker 3: I'm no, no, no, no, I do care.
Speaker 4: Today I was literally like trying to figure out should
Speaker 4: I take a car to Atlantic, Should I take a
Speaker 4: car to Brow with Lafayette.
Speaker 3: Should I take a car to Fulton Street.
Speaker 4: I was trying to like jigsaw it so that I
Speaker 4: wouldn't be as late as I ended up being. But
Speaker 4: that's only because you said I'll be there at this time,
Speaker 4: and I said.
Speaker 3: I'm right behind her. So I'm gonna take the regular train.
Speaker 2: But I will say my medication is working. Because I
Speaker 2: was less anxious about it. I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: get there. When I get there, that's it.
Speaker 3: And so I was like, you know what, this is
Speaker 3: why you have to do the work. And by the way,
Speaker 3: you mean the.
Speaker 2: Drugs, yes, the drug the drug pro drugs here?
Speaker 4: Oh always I think dare taught me free drugs is
Speaker 4: the way to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no one told me that prescription drugs were
Speaker 2: going to be so difficult.
Speaker 3: I thought it was going to be more fun. Really, Yeah, all.
Speaker 4: The white ladies have been doing it since the sixties
Speaker 4: and the forties.
Speaker 3: Seem like they're having a pretty good time.
Speaker 2: Well they're taking prescription prescription drugs, but they're not supposed to.
Speaker 3: I'm actually taking it the prescribed way.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, the only person in the world taking it
Speaker 2: the right way, I think I am. I mean the
Speaker 2: way people be throwing addies at everybody there never they
Speaker 2: never throw it at me.
Speaker 4: I was just about to say, no one's ever thrown
Speaker 4: any adderable at me, because you actually need it.
Speaker 1: I do need.
Speaker 3: You need to get it prescribed. Friend, you will take
Speaker 3: it and you're be like, oh is that yo? I'm honestly,
Speaker 3: it'll be like the limitless pill.
Speaker 4: This is gonna be getting stuff done and I'm gonna
Speaker 4: look like a brand new person.
Speaker 3: Wow. It's sometimes I think do I need an assistant?
Speaker 3: But maybe I don't need an assistant. I need at
Speaker 3: all prescription prescription prescription.
Speaker 2: Wait, remember when I this is when I was in
Speaker 2: LA and I was trying to get addies and the
Speaker 2: guy was like, well, well, let's just work on your
Speaker 2: like depression first, and I was like, I need them addies.
Speaker 2: He was like, uh yeah, will not be getting you
Speaker 2: that prescription today, and I was I was like, Marie,
Speaker 2: I tried to get us some. I'm sorry, girl, I failed.
Speaker 3: Do you want to be focused and depressed? Well? Do
Speaker 3: you want to be not depressed and unfocused?
Speaker 1: Hold on?
Speaker 3: I ooh, that's a hard question.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna because I feel like sometimes when you're depressed,
Speaker 2: you're in the pocket, like you're doing things unhinged, you're unwell,
Speaker 2: and sometimes unwell hits in the algorithm.
Speaker 3: But when you're doing it was hitting the algorithm.
Speaker 2: Yes, but we're doing good and you're like just being
Speaker 2: quotation normal.
Speaker 3: Then it's just it's just kind of boring. You're just there.
Speaker 1: So what's up?
Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I don't remember what I had asked.
Speaker 3: I can't. I mean either, I think it might be
Speaker 3: the ADHD friend, Thank you so much. Did you have
Speaker 3: a mess this week?
Speaker 4: I mean the mess is that my life is I
Speaker 4: think going well. And when I see people and they
Speaker 4: ask me how I'm doing, I'm like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 4: the universe wants me to win. Like I'm doing great,
Speaker 4: and I think, I know I sound crazy when people
Speaker 4: ask me how I'm doing.
Speaker 3: But that's I think what you sound like when you're
Speaker 3: doing well. No, no, that you don't sound crazy.
Speaker 2: You only sound crazy if you don't look like you're
Speaker 2: doing well. If you're wearing a really short bang in
Speaker 2: the eyeline or a smudge, you're.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm doing great. You're like, this bitch is lying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that the blunch tiny Beyonce mid bang is a
Speaker 4: of stress.
Speaker 3: Yes, when jay Z cheated her that bang. Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, if you are saying, but you look good, your
Speaker 2: everything's doing well, You're doing well on the internets, like
Speaker 2: it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I don't know the algorithm. God's are on my side,
Speaker 3: there on your side. I just have to keep going.
Speaker 3: That's all it's about. Yeah, but I did.
Speaker 4: I bumped into somebody the other day, Like I was
Speaker 4: like scrambling to a show and I was trying to
Speaker 4: you know, you try to figure out your set. Some
Speaker 4: people do it days in advance. I like to do
Speaker 4: it on the way to the show. So I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: if I start here, where am I going in? And
Speaker 4: somebody was like Marie and whatever, somebody recognizes me when I'm.
Speaker 3: Trying to work. I'd be like what, but I was
Speaker 3: like yes, and she's like hi, you know, and she's
Speaker 3: talking to me and.
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to be like like I'm trying to
Speaker 4: like work on my stuff still, and she was like
Speaker 4: I'm just I'm really I'm so happy for the way
Speaker 4: things are going for you.
Speaker 3: How do you do it?
Speaker 4: And I could tell that she was stressed, and I
Speaker 4: was like drugs and she was like drugs and I
Speaker 4: was like, I'm kidding, I just none of this matters.
Speaker 4: And she was like none of this, Matt. Like the
Speaker 4: more I talk, the more unhean. I could see her
Speaker 4: being like, oh she this lady is crazy. She dresses well,
Speaker 4: but she's crazy.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: But I was like, I was like, anyway, how are you?
Speaker 4: When she was like, my dad's not doing well, and
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, okay, yeah, well sending love and light. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, it's hard when someone's like how are you
Speaker 2: to be like good and mean it because everybody is
Speaker 2: not doing good?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's I here's a mess. This is my
Speaker 3: week's mess.
Speaker 2: We got a sandwich, okay, we gotta start with something good,
Speaker 2: then trauma dump, then we got it in with something good.
Speaker 2: I cannot start nothing with the boom. Yeah, my neighbor
Speaker 2: just died. Hey, babe, I'm gonna I need you to
Speaker 2: be like, your hair looks good. You know, your teeth
Speaker 2: are white. Hey my mom died that and then and
Speaker 2: then dump everything and then hit me with the you
Speaker 2: know I saw something on Instagram.
Speaker 3: You looked great. So not bad good bad, but good
Speaker 3: bad good. Yes, yes, because you have to.
Speaker 2: You gotta get me repped up to get excited for
Speaker 2: the conversation. You can't already drop me off with the
Speaker 2: end of the world shit.
Speaker 4: But don't you don't you hate when someone calls you
Speaker 4: and they're talking and you could tell they're beating around
Speaker 4: the bush.
Speaker 3: Don't you wanted to just get to the point. No,
Speaker 3: let's beat around the bush.
Speaker 2: That's bullshit, red like it's it's the.
Speaker 3: You know when we're what is it when you call?
Speaker 2: When you're like before you hook up, like the kiss
Speaker 2: in the the dating caressing, No before you four play
Speaker 2: you got a floor, play me into the trauma dumping.
Speaker 2: Do not hit me up top with the oh my god,
Speaker 2: I just lost my job bitch, No, I can't have
Speaker 2: this energy.
Speaker 4: My my mad's just hit it. Just maybe you're supposed
Speaker 4: to find the good in it. Well, I just lost
Speaker 4: my job. Well, girl, you hated that place anyway, that's
Speaker 4: the good.
Speaker 2: You know what the good for me is? You know what, girl,
Speaker 2: my managers call me. I'm gonna call you right back.
Speaker 3: Click that.
Speaker 2: That is the good for me because I can't because
Speaker 2: you're still in ployed.
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 3: Well, I love that for you. Let's bring our guests into.
Speaker 2: Are very well employed, booked, busy, blessed guest.
Speaker 3: Wow, kareem, you're here.
Speaker 1: What's up? You guys are glowing. I mean, we're not
Speaker 1: the lighting we're doing.
Speaker 3: Let the record show that this is what we look like.
Speaker 1: You look great.
Speaker 3: The studio doesn't actually really careful.
Speaker 1: I'm always I'm always captivated, truly.
Speaker 2: Well, I would say I was like, maybe it's the
Speaker 2: glowing for Marie is bouncing and permonating around the whole.
Speaker 1: I like this vibe of that Marie has right now. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is like a new thing I feel I just
Speaker 1: I feel.
Speaker 4: Like you know how everyone's like people always like this
Speaker 4: is gonna be my years.
Speaker 3: I know that it's mine.
Speaker 1: You have toxic positivity, toxic. I love that I have that.
Speaker 1: I've had that for a long time.
Speaker 4: You have to be see it and it works out
Speaker 4: for you.
Speaker 1: You know what I say? You know what I say
Speaker 1: every day. Now I'm gonna win an enemy's but you are.
Speaker 3: Knows it's going to happen.
Speaker 1: I tell people when I when I see them, I say,
Speaker 1: I'll see what that means. That's my new goodbye. I
Speaker 1: love that.
Speaker 3: That's the way it's supposed to be. I'll see.
Speaker 1: That's what I say. I swear to God to Kate
Speaker 1: yesterday gave.
Speaker 2: Her a famously was nominated for me, So you were, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's always that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: Got a w G A award.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even I don't even talk about
Speaker 2: my wins the way I'm actually white girl that.
Speaker 3: This might be my year.
Speaker 1: Why isn't it in the bio this might.
Speaker 3: Be my year? You know what? Because I'm like I
Speaker 3: said LinkedIn, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Listen, it's for me right like Marie is like toxic
Speaker 2: h me. When I'm a work in progress, you're gonna
Speaker 2: see the grind. But then when I really hit my stride,
Speaker 2: it's I'm gonna be disgusting about it. But this is
Speaker 2: the putting the puzzle together with the I kind of squinting.
Speaker 2: So it's just not as it's not as fun.
Speaker 1: But you hope to be one of those people when
Speaker 1: when people see you after the oscar that you got,
Speaker 1: they go, man, you really changed.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, before that. Don't let me get one
Speaker 3: hundred k on Instagram.
Speaker 5: Bit nobody, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna celebrate the hundred k?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 2: I might be those weird YouTubers like I just got
Speaker 2: a hundred can.
Speaker 1: No no, I celebrated one hundred k offline, though.
Speaker 3: I didn't celebrate one hundred k.
Speaker 1: Well, you didn't celebrate the hundred k. I went out
Speaker 1: to dinner seafood Towers the follows, and everyone kept saying, oh,
Speaker 1: are you guys celebrating anything? I go, I just hit
Speaker 1: one hundred can I was shameless. There's like as a
Speaker 1: birthday anniversary. I was like, now I hit one hundred k, that's.
Speaker 4: You know, when I hit three hundred k, I'll celebrate
Speaker 4: and that I will be there.
Speaker 3: That literally is coming in a week.
Speaker 4: It's it's crazy how quick the numbers are changing.
Speaker 1: Positivity. I'll invite me to the celebration. I got people,
Speaker 1: I got spots, seafood towers. It's not on me. It's
Speaker 1: not It's never on me.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna say, if I can get a sponsored yea, three
Speaker 4: hundred K cannot have.
Speaker 1: I bet you can a sponsored dinner for sure.
Speaker 2: And I and you know what, I'm gonna do it
Speaker 2: for one hundred K for sure.
Speaker 1: I celebrate the small win.
Speaker 4: You have to because it's like a lot of times
Speaker 4: we forget that the stuff that we have now is
Speaker 4: stuff that we used to really really want.
Speaker 1: Of course, because once.
Speaker 4: You hit that, it's like you're thinking about the next thing.
Speaker 1: The next thing. The next thing is right now. But
Speaker 1: that but that's also good. I think. I think it's
Speaker 1: good to be aspirational because then you become complacent if
Speaker 1: you're not, and then you're just kind of laying there,
Speaker 1: just laying anymore.
Speaker 4: Kareem, you're famously the host of Subway Takes and Keep
Speaker 4: the Meter Run in two shows that once you started
Speaker 4: doing them, they took off real quick. Is this stuff
Speaker 4: that you've been thinking about for a long time? Is
Speaker 4: it like did it come to you in a dream?
Speaker 3: Like you know?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's it's a mixture of right place,
Speaker 1: right time where it was like the moment I think
Speaker 1: it was the right moment to like launch I make
Speaker 1: this joke. But vertical unscripted short form video series. That's
Speaker 1: like when people are like, what do you do for
Speaker 1: a living? I say, I make I produce. I produced vertical.
Speaker 1: Wait what is an unscripted short form vertical video series?
Speaker 1: But yeah, you got to get an act. It's funny
Speaker 1: to say the whole thing vertical.
Speaker 3: Yeah you sound annoying, but.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no no, I laugh at it.
Speaker 3: But because of your hair and your mustache, I'm like,
Speaker 3: it's the arts. Yeah, vertical. I'munscripted Emmy nominated for videos.
Speaker 1: If I could get an Emmy for a vertical short
Speaker 1: form scripted vide happening vertical short form unscripted videos and yeah,
Speaker 1: that's no actually hosted vertical unscripted short form video series.
Speaker 1: Keep the Meter Running was in my notes app for
Speaker 1: a long time. How long, like at least two years?
Speaker 3: Isn't it crazy?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And then and then I was and I was
Speaker 1: I was like, that's a good idea, but I don't
Speaker 1: know how I'm going to make it. But then I
Speaker 1: was given the opportunity. Somebody said, do you have any ideas?
Speaker 1: We want to make one of your ideas? And I
Speaker 1: pulled out the notes app I had like five ideas.
Speaker 1: Give the meter running was the last idea. They go,
Speaker 1: that's the one. I go, great, and then and then
Speaker 1: I didn't ask any questions. In my mind, I was like,
Speaker 1: how are we going to make this?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: But then I just I mean we literally went outside
Speaker 1: and hailed a.
Speaker 2: Cab, asked less questions, Just do just do it, you
Speaker 2: do it well.
Speaker 1: I got frustrated because I was trying to bring some
Speaker 1: of my friends in on it, and I would be like, yo,
Speaker 1: do you want to like direct this thing? I have
Speaker 1: a great idea. And the first question was how are
Speaker 1: you going to light it? I said, bitch, the sun,
Speaker 1: we are outside.
Speaker 3: Nobody cares about that. Was this a black friend or.
Speaker 1: Poc I was a very white person.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 1: He was logistically challenged by the fact that we were
Speaker 1: going to be shooting outside, but where there is nownatural light.
Speaker 1: I was like bro if Terrence Malick, who famously makes
Speaker 1: all his movies using natural light, that we can make
Speaker 1: an unscripted short form vertical video series using.
Speaker 2: Listen and you know what, when it's your time to
Speaker 2: do something, there's there's not any questions.
Speaker 3: We're just doing it.
Speaker 2: And it's crazy because I was listening to this girl
Speaker 2: and she was like, I just want to hit y'all.
Speaker 2: You don't have to be great to get started, but
Speaker 2: you got to get started to be great.
Speaker 3: And that's what it is.
Speaker 1: I like this. I like this version of you guys.
Speaker 3: It's a great start. We're just tired.
Speaker 1: To Oprah's Positive.
Speaker 2: No, this is Oprah's one cup. We're going to go
Speaker 2: with that title. It's just my my mess is hidden.
Speaker 3: It's really wrapped up.
Speaker 1: Toxic positivity, artificial positivity.
Speaker 3: It's crazy as long as it's positive.
Speaker 4: But but also like I agree, like as a perfectionist,
Speaker 4: as a creative, as an artist, ask somebody living in
Speaker 4: the time of like a million people can see your
Speaker 4: stuff on social media and be like, this sucks. It's
Speaker 4: really hard to take something from the notes app or
Speaker 4: something from your brain and do it. You're for me anyway,
Speaker 4: Like Solo in the City is something that I've been thinking.
Speaker 3: About for however long are you single? It's something I
Speaker 3: had been thinking.
Speaker 4: About for years before I started doing it, and I'm
Speaker 4: so mad. I waited so long to start it, but
Speaker 4: you know, once you start, you just got like you
Speaker 4: just have to do it. Because we all watch things
Speaker 4: on social media that were like this sucks, but the
Speaker 4: person is doing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also cringe embrace it because you might think
Speaker 1: in your head like this is such a cringey idea,
Speaker 1: or like this is the way that you're going to
Speaker 1: be perceived. I think you think that you're going to
Speaker 1: be perceived one way, but then the audience perceives it
Speaker 1: another way. So you are your toughest critic, you know
Speaker 1: what I Meanways, So, but other people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is really cool. Honestly. There's a couple of examples
Speaker 1: of this one. I will like done something with a
Speaker 1: brand where I'm like, god, this is so I'm ashamed. Literally,
Speaker 1: I'm ashamed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, brand stuff is really crazy.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, But then the comments are like, yo, congrats
Speaker 1: on Mountain Dew.
Speaker 2: I'm like, why would somebody not like if you you
Speaker 2: see somebody doing like free content all the time, right,
Speaker 2: Like people people were mad at me during the Barbie movie.
Speaker 2: They were like, bitch, that was the time for you
Speaker 2: to cash out, why did you stop? And I was like,
Speaker 2: I was going, there's something, but they're like, they want
Speaker 2: you to do the brands. They want you to do
Speaker 2: collabs because they're like, hey, you've been doing all this
Speaker 2: stuff for free for a long time for years.
Speaker 3: Get your coin.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean a hater would be like, oh, you're doing
Speaker 3: spon con. You're selling out. Yeah, well you're not paying me,
Speaker 3: so the fuck.
Speaker 1: I think the world has just changed, where like it
Speaker 1: used to be one of those things where like that
Speaker 1: was selling out. You know, like there was a time
Speaker 1: where it was like, oh, brands blah blah. But brands
Speaker 1: are the only people with money. Now Hollywood doesn't have money,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, there's no money. The only
Speaker 1: people with money I call them people are brands. That's
Speaker 1: a mess. Embrace your embrace your patron. I treat them
Speaker 1: as patrons.
Speaker 3: The only people with money are brands. We're havingy for you.
Speaker 3: You look great.
Speaker 1: Did you do something with your bank? Patrons of the arts.
Speaker 1: The brands are the patrons of the arts.
Speaker 3: And you know that's that's where everybody.
Speaker 4: We're all on our phones on social media all day
Speaker 4: anyway at work, so at least let's this is our work.
Speaker 1: I think it's fine.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's little boots.
Speaker 1: You know you get these free shoes.
Speaker 3: I love they look good. I mean that Rocky Joe
Speaker 3: who wants to pay.
Speaker 2: I think it's mess having to pay for things that
Speaker 2: pull out your fucking card or to do that tap
Speaker 2: tivioty tap every time.
Speaker 3: I'm like this, Why am I doing this?
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing.
Speaker 4: This is the get to I do. I do really
Speaker 4: not like spending my own money. But it also is
Speaker 4: so easy to tap.
Speaker 1: It's really easy. Cheap though, So you you're not hitting
Speaker 1: the tip button. No, I'm tipping, but I'm not tapping.
Speaker 1: You tipping but not happening. I'm tipping, but I'm not tapping.
Speaker 3: Tipping but not tapping.
Speaker 2: Also title of the episode, But wait, is it because
Speaker 2: you're frugal or you just because cheap?
Speaker 3: I think when I hear cheap.
Speaker 2: Is like, oh, you have a lot of money, but
Speaker 2: like you don't want to use it at all.
Speaker 1: I don't want to part with it.
Speaker 2: But frugal is like I have the money, but I
Speaker 2: don't want to be too frivolous, Like I want to,
Speaker 2: you know, make better decisions.
Speaker 1: I feel like I have very dad energy, not daddy,
Speaker 1: not daddy, not to be confused with daddy. I'm dad energy.
Speaker 1: Where I'm like, do we really need like imagine your father,
Speaker 1: do you really need that? I do that to myself,
Speaker 1: explain father.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I didn't have one of.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a guy that's around. Sometimes sometimes they
Speaker 1: go off for a pack of cigarettes.
Speaker 4: They never come back and they don't know any of
Speaker 4: the information about their kids.
Speaker 1: Sometimes are they definitely don't. They should know birthday. I
Speaker 1: know the birthday of my daughter.
Speaker 3: And your daughter was born. But she's like, how old?
Speaker 1: Exactly what she's brand? It's February twenty eighth.
Speaker 3: I know because it just has the tag on it.
Speaker 3: Why you know her? You know?
Speaker 1: No, I will forget. I mean my wife, who's actually
Speaker 1: my girlfriend, but I call her my wife. She I
Speaker 1: don't know her birthday.
Speaker 4: And she asked me all the time, ask miss my wife,
Speaker 4: who is actually my girlfriend, but I'll call her my wife.
Speaker 4: Why don't you stop calling her your girlfriend and.
Speaker 1: Just call her your wife because she's my girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Well, Mary, why don't you make her your wife.
Speaker 1: We're in transitionary period. We had the baby, and so
Speaker 1: it's a lot of like it's like, oh do we
Speaker 1: you know, how do you get married? So we got
Speaker 1: religiously married so that the baby wouldn't be borne on paper,
Speaker 1: well in some sort of text, you know, like not
Speaker 1: necessarily not not on paper. Yeah, paper, No, it's actually
Speaker 1: the opposite of paper. We're married with the man above.
Speaker 1: The man above has sanctioned its thea. So you're saying
Speaker 1: the government hasn't sanctioned.
Speaker 3: It's not the government, no, right, but.
Speaker 1: Off the off the record.
Speaker 2: So you went to wait. So you went to a
Speaker 2: mosque and I got a guy. Okay, you got it.
Speaker 1: I got a guy that came to the crib. You
Speaker 1: know how people you.
Speaker 2: Know that you had a moss.
Speaker 1: Dry by, Yeah, I had a guy had the imam
Speaker 1: come to the crib. You know how people do that?
Speaker 1: Now they're like, oh, I have a groomer for my
Speaker 1: dog or my cat, or like I'm gonna get the
Speaker 1: liquid IV drip in my body and my house or
Speaker 1: get your hair done her.
Speaker 3: The year of the liquid.
Speaker 1: In my life, I've never done it.
Speaker 2: I've never done I want it. Can we all hello
Speaker 2: brand to IVY drip?
Speaker 3: We need it? Can we do it?
Speaker 1: Get that on the pot is mad.
Speaker 2: I wanted on the pron we are we need it
Speaker 2: first of all, energy and.
Speaker 3: We need to I mean just to do it. I
Speaker 3: just want to see how I feel.
Speaker 1: It's so funny to do it on a podcast. You do,
Speaker 1: I've never done that, no people. I've seen people do
Speaker 1: it at bachelor and bachelorette parties.
Speaker 3: Because they go hard.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, and then I remember I went to
Speaker 1: a bachelor. No, I went to a wedding, and the
Speaker 1: next day I went to like the groom and the wife.
Speaker 3: I need you to get these titles together.
Speaker 2: You said wife girlfriend, not wife, but like groom.
Speaker 3: That's so fun. You don't know what the lady is called.
Speaker 3: Man man who has a wife, but we don't know
Speaker 3: what to call him.
Speaker 1: I walked into their room and they were both hooked
Speaker 1: up to the ivy and they.
Speaker 3: They was probably on May they married.
Speaker 1: I was like, that is really interesting because I.
Speaker 2: Get really antsy with needles, so just the just the
Speaker 2: going in.
Speaker 3: With the needle part is already going to be a thing.
Speaker 4: I don't like needles, noodles, noodle, I don't like needles,
Speaker 4: but I watched them.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, I don't want no, I don't
Speaker 3: want to watch.
Speaker 1: I need to do the trick like I need them
Speaker 1: to be like, oh the like they have to like,
Speaker 1: how's your day? And then you know they need to
Speaker 1: distract me.
Speaker 4: Do you guys get the vein compliments? You've got great veins?
Speaker 1: You can't see my veins.
Speaker 3: I don't know I got veins.
Speaker 1: They almost come in with Somebody says that to you.
Speaker 4: Anytime I get army hammer, it's always a little black.
Speaker 3: Strong veins. They go, oh, you've got great veins, and.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're saying the nurse.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought it was like you were standing in line
Speaker 1: for a coffee and somebody is like, you have great veins.
Speaker 2: If someone said that, I would be like, unless you're
Speaker 2: a nurse or doctor, that's or he's gonna murder you.
Speaker 3: You got great veins.
Speaker 4: Just you got veins. You know, I used mind. I
Speaker 4: got a nice clean needle for them veins. Okay, you
Speaker 4: know I'm you know, I left my veins and coat check.
Speaker 4: Can I know they always the veins?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think I've never had that compliment.
Speaker 1: I think I got bad veins. They're hidden.
Speaker 3: You got harry arms.
Speaker 2: Come on, be racist, bro, racist you wait exactly damn
Speaker 2: racist ass podcast really leaning in and what we need
Speaker 2: you to lean out?
Speaker 1: Of?
Speaker 3: What you got it? You got a whole bunch of
Speaker 3: hair on top of your head. You and your neck.
Speaker 1: My neck has no hair, neither does all you wax. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just us your chest.
Speaker 3: Of course I did on mess chest on mass that.
Speaker 1: You got a lot of You got a lot of that. No, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm like regular no.
Speaker 3: Arms.
Speaker 1: You you are women with not hairy arms. I'm for
Speaker 1: a man, for a compliment, just for a brown man.
Speaker 3: Women without hair on your arms and head. You're blessing
Speaker 3: my hand.
Speaker 1: Listen.
Speaker 3: When I was in do you remember the first time
Speaker 3: you shaved Sydney.
Speaker 1: Ever the body? Are we talking? Well?
Speaker 3: The first time I ever shaved. I shaved my arms.
Speaker 3: I was in like like second or third grade. Hair
Speaker 3: on your arms, and I went home and I shaved
Speaker 3: my arms.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's customary in our culture.
Speaker 2: Well, I had I had a really long hair coming
Speaker 2: out of a mole I have, so I instead of shaving,
Speaker 2: I did the plucking just one hair, one hair, I think,
Speaker 2: you know what, I think.
Speaker 3: I just pulled it out with my teeth the other.
Speaker 1: Day your teeth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that you see the mall their hair coming out
Speaker 3: of it.
Speaker 2: Dream were the same, miss, Okay, let's get back on track.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Dream. You came here with mess?
Speaker 1: What is it? I have a couple of messages, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Fatherhood is a mess because you're balancing
Speaker 1: your life, the child's life, your girlfriend and wife's life,
Speaker 1: your work life, your friend life. I mean, it throws
Speaker 1: a real wrench.
Speaker 3: Can you still have friends as a new parent?
Speaker 1: No? Not really. You have to combine things. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: thankfully employed in a position where I can. This is
Speaker 1: French to me. This is friends. Yes we're productive, but
Speaker 1: we're friending. We are friends, but we're associates at the moment,
Speaker 1: we're business associates, which is actually messy colleagues.
Speaker 2: It's messy because sometimes right when you blend that, there
Speaker 2: is no it's real gray like it's murky, so stuff
Speaker 2: that I would say to my friend, hey, bitch, your
Speaker 2: ass is back like you can't if we business partner friends,
Speaker 2: we can't.
Speaker 3: You can't.
Speaker 2: Really, I can't touch your elbow like this because HR
Speaker 2: should get involved.
Speaker 3: But there's no HR and standing there.
Speaker 1: It's so hard.
Speaker 4: This is the only work where you could say hey,
Speaker 4: bitch and the person whoever you're talking to. That is
Speaker 4: the title of the.
Speaker 1: Featuring, why thank you yours as do yours? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think that that's good though, Like I would rather
Speaker 1: have my work be my life and my life be
Speaker 1: my work. Yeah, because it's always fun. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's a good time at all times.
Speaker 2: It's like a it's like a, really, you don't agree,
Speaker 2: you want to be in a cubicle?
Speaker 3: No, you don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, it's the same feeling how I feel from the
Speaker 2: work from home. I got it in the beginning, but
Speaker 2: now it's like, no, you got to go to your
Speaker 2: work and then your home be your home.
Speaker 3: The blending of the two is just how do I
Speaker 3: where's my safe space?
Speaker 2: My couch where I used to lay now is in
Speaker 2: the background of where I'm fucking working. And now if
Speaker 2: I'm having a bad meeting, I don't want to go
Speaker 2: to my couch because I'm like, you got that bad
Speaker 2: meeting energy on this ship. Yeah, So it's like, go
Speaker 2: to work, go home, separate the two.
Speaker 1: I've been wanting to do that ever since I had
Speaker 1: a kid. I'll get out of the house. Is not
Speaker 1: my entire home. Yeah, there's there's Yeah, I gotta get
Speaker 1: an office or something.
Speaker 3: I got to get a house.
Speaker 1: I got the old ball and chain at home.
Speaker 2: You got you got to sponsor somebody. No, somebody needs
Speaker 2: to sponsor you to have your own work.
Speaker 1: On Instagram the other day I said, somebody, please give
Speaker 1: me a free office. I got a lot of dms,
Speaker 1: but they were not good. And then I was at
Speaker 1: the coffee shop in my neighborhood the other day and
Speaker 1: I saw the most unhinged, messiest ship I've ever seen
Speaker 1: in my life. It was a flyer that said, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm like a freelance creative person looking for any room
Speaker 1: to rent. If you have a spare room in your home,
Speaker 1: I will rent it as my office. Like this person
Speaker 1: was looking to move in.
Speaker 3: What's the budget? They won't. They won't. Now that would
Speaker 3: have been messy.
Speaker 2: If a I give you four hundred dollars if you
Speaker 2: let me use this as an office.
Speaker 1: Would you let someone rent the spare room in your
Speaker 1: apartment as their office where they come in from nine
Speaker 1: to five.
Speaker 4: They gotta go to one of those members only places.
Speaker 4: There's so many in the city.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: I imagine that this person wants to be alone. They
Speaker 1: don't want to be in the co working. They don't
Speaker 1: want to co work.
Speaker 3: What are you doing that you don't want to co work?
Speaker 1: I'm talking me about the guy in the coffee shop.
Speaker 4: Not maybe it might be cheaper to just get a
Speaker 4: hotel for the day.
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 3: You don't think so.
Speaker 1: Actually, if you divide your rent by thirty days, don't
Speaker 1: do it. Don't do it. I'm don't do it because
Speaker 1: you may as well live in the hotel.
Speaker 2: Well I had to do it because my because I
Speaker 2: moved into my apartment at the end of the month,
Speaker 2: so they had to pro rate my rent the next
Speaker 2: the next month, and I was like, wait, that's how
Speaker 2: much I'm spending a day.
Speaker 1: They're so cheap. Those bastards are so cheap. They wouldn't
Speaker 1: let you move in early.
Speaker 3: Later.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it was me. I found the place late.
Speaker 2: And then they were like, oh, you got.
Speaker 1: I'm still paid a whole month, and that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Next month they were like, JK, now you pay what
Speaker 2: you would have to pay.
Speaker 1: Next, but like, last month, did you do the division?
Speaker 3: You don't want to tell us.
Speaker 4: You being cool with your it's the devil's numbers.
Speaker 1: That's not bad than what I said. Okay, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of sixes. Yeah, I don't want to look at
Speaker 1: I don't want to look at mine.
Speaker 2: Okay, So okay, So so being a dad is messy.
Speaker 1: Being a dad is very messy. I think being a
Speaker 1: mom is messy here obviously.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was going to say, she's doing most
Speaker 2: of the work. You're ripping, running, trying to make the bake. Well,
Speaker 2: not the bacon for you, the bread, the bread we
Speaker 2: make the bread, bacon, beef, beef bake, nest turkey baking.
Speaker 3: I didn't know beef bacon was a thing. It's a thing.
Speaker 2: They have it in the they have it in the Yes,
Speaker 2: is that like slim gym?
Speaker 1: Is that.
Speaker 3: It is giving thin?
Speaker 1: It spelt it's slim, Jimmy, I just don't get bacon.
Speaker 1: I get read.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So you're making you're making a lot of money
Speaker 3: for your family.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a provider. But that's why I don't spend
Speaker 1: the money for myself. That's what I'm saying. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: do I really need this? Like I should have the office,
Speaker 1: I should be able to afford the office.
Speaker 3: Somebody's gonna comp it. Yeah, don't skip on the things
Speaker 3: that is most important.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like that's the thing about being a dad,
Speaker 2: but also being a man is like I don't think
Speaker 2: y'all know how to compartmentalize things. It's just like it's
Speaker 2: either like all or nothing. And it's like, well, if
Speaker 2: I have to, if I have to work and provide
Speaker 2: and be a man, then like, how what other things
Speaker 2: can I fit in there? You can't, but you can
Speaker 2: because you hire an intern or assistant.
Speaker 3: You want an assistant.
Speaker 1: I don't have an acessance.
Speaker 3: That's madness. As much work as you're doing.
Speaker 1: I don't need an assis.
Speaker 3: Who keeps your books?
Speaker 1: Who keeps you? I have a lot of people. I
Speaker 1: keep my own calendar, which is which is absolutely messy.
Speaker 1: It's very bad, very very bad. Depressing me.
Speaker 3: Your calendar has like posted stick.
Speaker 1: You're going to be really upset.
Speaker 3: Let me see your color coded.
Speaker 1: I'll show you today today. Let me see today was
Speaker 1: fucked up? Yes, I was still on time. Dragon, I'm
Speaker 1: not dragon. This is today? Yes?
Speaker 3: Wow? Why is it not color coded? It's all the
Speaker 3: same blue because it's all work. Yeah, but is it?
Speaker 3: I break it down like fun, work, travel, okay, yep, yep,
Speaker 3: Oh no cancel girl. Something was canceled at five, so
Speaker 3: it looks like you got the evening.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 1: I canceled because I was like, look at this day.
Speaker 1: That's a bad day. So I can't. I said, I'm out.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. What's a good day?
Speaker 1: It was photo shoots said I don't want to do photoshop.
Speaker 3: You don't want to get America's next time model.
Speaker 1: I said, I'll send you photos.
Speaker 3: You don't want to get your hair like coiled and
Speaker 3: like most what.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it?
Speaker 3: Everything else? I went to the photo shoot. What the photo?
Speaker 1: Right? No, I'm doing face all day. I was on
Speaker 1: the phone from nine am until one thirty pm, and
Speaker 1: then I took the train directly here and now I'm
Speaker 1: on closing deal. Now I have to close deals. I
Speaker 1: love deals. I actually love being on the phone. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm the equivalent of a cab driver. I'm on the
Speaker 1: phone all the time.
Speaker 4: Now, are you holding a phone to your ear? Are
Speaker 4: you speakerphone out?
Speaker 1: Speakerphone out?
Speaker 3: Speakerphone allowed? You know he's a speakerphone allow? You could
Speaker 3: just tell because you're very chaotic.
Speaker 1: That's so, that's a great chaotic.
Speaker 2: When I first met you, I was like, I don't
Speaker 2: know what you're going to do, but whatever you're going
Speaker 2: to do, it's going to happen.
Speaker 3: But it's going to be like pas Manian devil.
Speaker 1: You know, you were one of the first people I
Speaker 1: ever met in the comedy sphere, and you were so
Speaker 1: supportive and I was like, you know what, I feel good.
Speaker 2: How did you guys meet Taylor Taylor, Garrett Taylor Taylor, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: and then but then I think we got lunch or dinner.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I was like, I'm just starting out because
Speaker 1: I was just starting out.
Speaker 3: How people been doing comedy? This is I need to
Speaker 3: know the story now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's about six years.
Speaker 2: I'm using the first people to go to pick your
Speaker 2: can I pick your brain?
Speaker 3: I'm always the sure bitch.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I said, I'll buy you did say a
Speaker 1: good good, good like manner.
Speaker 3: So there y'all are at Chipotle. Ow there you.
Speaker 1: Big Hannah, Yeah, the other place that makes you.
Speaker 2: If I don't get the garlic butter, I'm not saying nothing,
Speaker 2: he said.
Speaker 3: She can't mentor you or the youth without the garlic
Speaker 3: on me.
Speaker 6: It was.
Speaker 1: It was a very positive and aspiring conversation. I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, I think I can do this because I
Speaker 1: had a whole other life. I was thirty three transitioning
Speaker 1: into comedy, which that's mess. No, the worst thing.
Speaker 3: Why is it mess?
Speaker 2: If I met a dude and he was like, I'm
Speaker 2: thirty three and I'm dis nested, I'd be like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, hold on, but Kareem is divorced, divorced.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I was going to say say hot, Oh
Speaker 3: are you divorced?
Speaker 4: Yes, she left you, but Marie will not hot.
Speaker 3: So you know where that goes.
Speaker 5: Girl, I'm trying to get to about Okay, can we
Speaker 5: picked that up later?
Speaker 1: Though, I do want to.
Speaker 2: I do want to confirm he wants a sandwich, he
Speaker 2: wants to.
Speaker 1: I want to confirm hot. Actually, before we move on,
Speaker 1: I'd like to confirm firm that you're with Sydney on us.
Speaker 3: Oh, that you're cute.
Speaker 1: Hot.
Speaker 2: She's not giving it to you, babe, specifically, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: take it up.
Speaker 3: You're hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so nice of you. I never thought that
Speaker 1: in my life.
Speaker 2: Behind the keys said you hot, I said hot, re
Speaker 2: said cute.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're still winning.
Speaker 1: No, it's great. I have never felt like this moment.
Speaker 2: We usually don't say this is straight man that comes
Speaker 2: they have straight man on the pot, and I know
Speaker 2: why is it's captain is bitch.
Speaker 1: Actually it means a lot to me because I've had
Speaker 1: ugly inside syndrome, you know. And when you think you're
Speaker 1: ugly for a long time, kid, yeah, because I was.
Speaker 1: That's that's true. I wasn't. I was an awkward stage
Speaker 1: for a long time. I think actually I actually just
Speaker 1: look like a guy now. Yeah, but I used to
Speaker 1: look like a little pudgy boy.
Speaker 3: But I feel like for.
Speaker 4: Men, we are going to need a baby picture for
Speaker 4: the dump means out. But I think for men, most
Speaker 4: of y'all get better with age, you know. I think
Speaker 4: you get you know, man like, you know, manly face
Speaker 4: and salt and pepper and the beard is full and.
Speaker 1: It's just like which is a nice treat because after
Speaker 1: thirty three years or thirty four years of being kind
Speaker 1: of ugly, you're like, oh, all right, great now, I'm
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 3: You in your ugly duckling Swan era.
Speaker 1: Back to the other thing.
Speaker 2: Divorce, Yes, because you wanted to do comedy at thirty three.
Speaker 1: No, no, because she was white.
Speaker 3: And now this is not mess. This is this is
Speaker 3: not mess.
Speaker 1: This is great.
Speaker 3: That's the perfect reason to be like, you gotta go
Speaker 3: here on mess, that's not mess.
Speaker 1: It wasn't mess at all. It was like you gotta go.
Speaker 1: And then and then I was.
Speaker 3: At it because of religion.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's crazy. Do I give that energy?
Speaker 1: I said, I accidentally married a white woman. Four years
Speaker 1: later I just realized, oh she's not Muslim.
Speaker 3: You know what? And you heard it here first on
Speaker 3: mess baby.
Speaker 1: But no, it is so true that that coming out
Speaker 1: of divorce and then I'm like, oh, thirty three year
Speaker 1: old divorced aspiring comedian is literally the worst thing you
Speaker 1: can possibly hear.
Speaker 3: No, I never heard, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 2: It is worse for ladies like us, ladies who lunch.
Speaker 2: But for the average girlie on a corner street corner,
Speaker 2: all they see.
Speaker 3: Is like, oh, there's potential.
Speaker 2: You know, like when I when I saw you, you,
Speaker 2: I will say, right now, you know you work in
Speaker 2: a lot, so you know you got that like I'm
Speaker 2: ripping and running. But when I met you, you had
Speaker 2: this like I'm like driven, I'm.
Speaker 3: Ready to go.
Speaker 2: So if a woman can sense that you are trying
Speaker 2: to reach something that's kind of hot.
Speaker 4: I mean, listen, women, the standards this women will a
Speaker 4: woman will be like, well he's trying not all women,
Speaker 4: but there is a woman somewhere.
Speaker 1: But it's that's but I don't know if that's what
Speaker 1: I'm I don't know if that's what I'm trying to try.
Speaker 3: It's not well at that time.
Speaker 2: At that time, at the time, you didn't all you
Speaker 2: were very focused. You were like, I just want to
Speaker 2: get to where I need to be.
Speaker 1: I need to not be embarrassed. When I opened my mouth.
Speaker 3: And you were embarrassed.
Speaker 1: Of course, are you kidding me? What do you do
Speaker 1: for a living? I just started comedy. It's the worst.
Speaker 1: It's literally worth it's imagine what you do for a living.
Speaker 1: I want to be an actor. All of those things
Speaker 1: are bad. Yeah, if you want to be one and
Speaker 1: you haven't and you're just starting like you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: in UCB improv one on one.
Speaker 3: Oh that's gross.
Speaker 2: But for Kareems, we were in open mics and there
Speaker 2: were people who had just started, like I'm a comedian.
Speaker 3: You know what they look like?
Speaker 2: You know, you know what those guys look, they did
Speaker 2: not have no qualms about being like, oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: I'm a comedian. I perform at Calma Lounge on Wednesdays.
Speaker 2: It's like, you mean the open mic that's five dollars, yeah,
Speaker 2: five minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4: They get on stage to not be funny and be like,
Speaker 4: well my wife and I and.
Speaker 3: You said thirty three, they would be fifty five.
Speaker 1: But here's the difference. Are they hobbyists? Are they doing
Speaker 1: it as a hobby because I was like, I am
Speaker 1: going to make money and make this a career.
Speaker 3: I think a lot.
Speaker 4: Waneople who start stand up think they're going to be
Speaker 4: sending out Madison Square Garden at some point.
Speaker 3: You think. I think the men.
Speaker 4: I think all the men that are like, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: be a comic, it's because they watched other comedians say
Speaker 4: crazy stuff and get big laughs and make a lot
Speaker 4: of money, and they're like, I could do that.
Speaker 1: Well, people don't realize how much work it takes, Like
Speaker 1: it takes so much work every day, years upon years
Speaker 1: upon years of failures, and then something hits.
Speaker 3: What's your failures? Well, you have so many years.
Speaker 1: There's so many failures. Yeah, but I feel fast. I
Speaker 1: feeled really fast. I spent two years failing and then
Speaker 1: the first little which is not a long time. I'm no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm very aware. But I had this whole other life
Speaker 1: that I could draw lessons from. Right Like I had
Speaker 1: like worked at the New York Times, I had worked advice.
Speaker 3: I had like, yes, get into my mom.
Speaker 1: Had a daycare in the basement of My dad died
Speaker 1: when I was twenty one. There's no nepida. And he
Speaker 1: was a criminal. And he was a criminal your nepo.
Speaker 3: No I am.
Speaker 1: I am my own daddy. Yes, I am my.
Speaker 4: Own rich is all the title of the episode own daddy.
Speaker 3: That's murdh. That is you gotta get you. I want
Speaker 3: to get a tie. I have my own daddy.
Speaker 1: I want to get the jacket, the leather jacket with
Speaker 1: the back.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's all a mess, but it works out
Speaker 3: in the end. What else did you want to?
Speaker 2: What else was the something that you Oh, the bachelor party,
Speaker 2: but you didn't have a bachelor party.
Speaker 1: It's not for me. Oh that's for a good friend. Tear.
Speaker 1: It's tearing apart. The group chat.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: The group chat, which is called deep Down in John's
Speaker 1: as I just put them all on blasts.
Speaker 2: Come on, now I need Josh John's. But now, first
Speaker 2: of all, that's too long. It's too long, like it's
Speaker 2: not showing up when like when we have our group chat,
Speaker 2: like we have one little thing and then I like,
Speaker 2: I know it's my group.
Speaker 1: What's the name of the group chat?
Speaker 3: None of your business? Come on, Marie, shut out, shout
Speaker 3: out to ten percent.
Speaker 1: How many people are in it? Like four five five?
Speaker 1: That's so sick.
Speaker 3: Then we have another group chat. Is it sisters?
Speaker 1: Odd girls?
Speaker 3: It might be hot.
Speaker 1: Girls, but you know what sisters is. That's like in
Speaker 1: a badly written film about two black friends and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: name the group chat, sisters. It's very close. Now the
Speaker 1: group chat. I think naming the group chat is really fun,
Speaker 1: is it? Yeah? Pious Pipers, that's one of them. Safe
Speaker 1: space space, keep down in Johnnas three ass cheeks of
Speaker 1: the Apocalypse, a lot of butt stuff.
Speaker 3: Y'all are goofy fun. That's what malets are called.
Speaker 1: Huh oh.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The male group chats are are I think the most
Speaker 1: unhinged and also the same.
Speaker 4: I would say that kids, are you guys waking up
Speaker 4: in good mornings each other are you just starting just.
Speaker 1: Now out the gate. It's just battle battle times, meme battles,
Speaker 1: just ball busting. I got in trouble for taking the
Speaker 1: joke too far and Deep John and John Zanas because
Speaker 1: the bachelor.
Speaker 4: Party every time he says it, take a shot.
Speaker 1: So in Deep Down, Deep Down on John Zanas, there
Speaker 1: is a there's a bachelor party being planned for John. No, oops,
Speaker 1: it's actually for Deep he is the Indian guy getting married. Uh.
Speaker 1: And there there there is a reluctance. The bachelor does
Speaker 1: not want to have a bachelor party. But as an
Speaker 1: Arab man, I had to explain to him that bachelor
Speaker 1: parties are not for the bachelor. They're for the friends.
Speaker 1: In my culture, which is made up. I was like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's I kept saying, in my culture, the bachelor party
Speaker 1: is not for the bachelor. It's for the group of
Speaker 1: friends who must accompany the bachelor, which is actually made up.
Speaker 1: But they bought it. So now the bachelor party is
Speaker 1: being planned and I was like, oh, this is fire.
Speaker 1: Let me throw in my my request. Let's have this
Speaker 1: in Ireland, a place where we've never been, a place
Speaker 1: where I'll probably never go.
Speaker 3: And you just picked it just to Pigot.
Speaker 1: It's six hours away. I did a little research. It's
Speaker 1: the same. It's the equivalent of going to l A.
Speaker 3: But it's not warm, and then may it will be warm.
Speaker 3: It'll be warm, and it's it's also beautiful.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you google it.
Speaker 3: Maybe I've never been to Oh, yes I did. Sorry,
Speaker 3: I forgot.
Speaker 1: Went to double last year. Were unimpressed. You you go.
Speaker 3: The way you forgot quick. It took a while to
Speaker 3: find food that I like. Yeah, the food it was
Speaker 3: scarce for for for a moment.
Speaker 1: But we're eating fish and chips like that's Britain. But porridge,
Speaker 1: Yeah they eat weird.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's not. I was like, okay, so I lost
Speaker 3: five pounds. Here we went and got sushi.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, this here.
Speaker 3: So you wanted to go to Ireland.
Speaker 1: The phitched something out of the ordinary, and then somehow
Speaker 1: the top choice became Denver, Colorado. Worse. It is way worse.
Speaker 1: Denver is the is the like Ireland.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's very Maybe your group is weed heavy,
Speaker 2: because that's the only reason why I would I suggest
Speaker 2: Denver because skiing no weed.
Speaker 4: They smoked, don't don't you keep saying it Sidney. He
Speaker 4: heard your dad with a criminal.
Speaker 3: She said.
Speaker 1: They they don't smoke weed. No one nobody smokes. We
Speaker 1: what the is to do?
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't think they got this.
Speaker 1: This is this is my white group. This is my.
Speaker 3: Say you should.
Speaker 1: Have with the name deep down in John's and I
Speaker 1: thought you guys would know.
Speaker 4: Of dudes that were gross, But now that makes it.
Speaker 4: You said Denver, And it's like, why dudes that are grossing?
Speaker 1: But now it's tearing the group apart because there so
Speaker 1: there are there's a Jewish guy and Armenian guys. So
Speaker 1: they're not that they're kind of white, they're not fully white.
Speaker 1: I'm the brownest on the spectrum in this group. And
Speaker 1: they have now aligned themselves with me. Refugees band together,
Speaker 1: semites band together, so we're we're pro Ireland. But now
Speaker 1: the whites in the group are really pushing on Denver
Speaker 1: and there's a battle.
Speaker 4: Now, Now what would the activities be in both cities?
Speaker 4: That's what we need to know.
Speaker 1: Well, Ireland, in my opinion, we drive.
Speaker 2: Around already already losing me for a bachelor party.
Speaker 1: Yes, well bothis or something.
Speaker 2: Somebody just stay home and bring them, like, stay with
Speaker 2: the kids and the wive, girlfriends or whatever.
Speaker 3: It's not gonna go to do in Denver. Go to
Speaker 3: Red Rock is somebody performing?
Speaker 1: Literally, someone requested that today said they said, we can
Speaker 1: see a concert at Red Rocks. I said, I would
Speaker 1: rather go to Cincinnati.
Speaker 3: Oh damn, y'all a wash.
Speaker 2: Nobody has anything like exciting to put down listen.
Speaker 1: I yeah, we're trying to chill out. It's like a
Speaker 1: chill trip.
Speaker 3: So why don't you go to Thailand?
Speaker 1: That's crazy?
Speaker 3: Why is it crazy?
Speaker 1: It's twenty four hours away. Yes, we got seventy two
Speaker 1: hours for the trip.
Speaker 3: Oh you only have to you want to. I don't
Speaker 3: want to be be like, oh what can we do
Speaker 3: for the week? Bitch, let's go. If that's the last.
Speaker 1: Hurrah we out, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: A Google Bachelor party destinations Vegas.
Speaker 3: They all go to Vegas. I know they all goa
Speaker 3: you guys are better.
Speaker 1: Than that, better than Vegas. And also the group is
Speaker 1: made up of I think four out of seven half kids.
Speaker 3: What about what.
Speaker 2: About like like Arizona, Sedona, like something like that. You
Speaker 2: go to a wellness retreat spot.
Speaker 1: That's too much in that direction, that's too much. I
Speaker 1: feel like Ireland is both like, we got Dublin, we
Speaker 1: can take a walking tour.
Speaker 3: Oh walk and see whom on Sydney. I'm gonna stop
Speaker 3: you right there. I'm gonna stop you right there.
Speaker 1: Why.
Speaker 4: Sydney and I were in Dublin. She was like, let's
Speaker 4: let's go to this What did you say? It was
Speaker 4: like a field or a hill and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: we'll take a bunch of pictures. I'll be in a
Speaker 4: poppy field. Sydney had me on a full blown hike
Speaker 4: in Dublin. I had on a platform, boots and a
Speaker 4: Maxi search. Girl, I didn't I told you a hike?
Speaker 3: What you thought?
Speaker 2: She said, We're gonna go take pictures on this hill.
Speaker 2: We had a good time.
Speaker 3: Spell to my death, sir. We had a blast the photos.
Speaker 3: Ate it up, babe. You know what are you guys? Drinkers? Drink?
Speaker 3: Somebody say fully drinking.
Speaker 1: But here's when I said walking tour. I mean like,
Speaker 1: get an Irish guy to show us around.
Speaker 3: This is where the.
Speaker 1: People blew up the IRA where we start. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love a walking tour. You don't do walking tours sometime
Speaker 1: I go to a city. First thing I do go
Speaker 1: on a walking door, get a lay of the land.
Speaker 4: It's it's important to do it early so you can
Speaker 4: be like, oh, we gonna come back here.
Speaker 1: We did it. They want, you know, you know where
Speaker 1: to go? Yeah, yeah, I like the walking tour. You know,
Speaker 1: they get the funny accents.
Speaker 2: So why is it tearing everything? Is it really tearing
Speaker 2: everybody apart?
Speaker 3: What are you say?
Speaker 1: Not reprimanded?
Speaker 3: What did they say?
Speaker 1: Because I kept using chat GPT to generate messages and
Speaker 1: emails that were anti Denver, I had to stop.
Speaker 2: We have to stop with the chat GBT. We have
Speaker 2: no First of all, we're feeding chat GBT.
Speaker 1: I was feeding it, giving it liquid ivs. Use your brain,
Speaker 1: I use my brain. I use my words, and then
Speaker 1: I say, rewrite this to make it more intense or
Speaker 1: more eloquent, or to sound more white. So that I
Speaker 1: stopped it.
Speaker 3: So I said, chat GBT, wipe this up.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I have a code switched for me so
Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: So so Chad I was. I kept doubling down. So
Speaker 1: people were like, We're going to Denver, and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I would rather go to fucking Cincinnati. They have beers
Speaker 1: there too, why do you want to go to Denver?
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. Here's if we want attractive women,
Speaker 1: then of course we should go to No. If we
Speaker 1: want unattractive women, we should definitely go to Denver so
Speaker 1: we can look at some of the nastiest people on earth.
Speaker 1: Like really getting it GPG wrote shut.
Speaker 3: Throwing chat GBT underneath it.
Speaker 1: But I will read one of the messages that got
Speaker 1: me in. And then yesterday I got reprimanded. They said
Speaker 1: that I'm making the bachelor who doesn't even want to
Speaker 1: go on the trip in the first place, uncomfortable, And
Speaker 1: I said, he's my friend. I can make him feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I can break his balls. That's what friends do. Like,
Speaker 1: what are you guys talking about?
Speaker 2: It's not during intense moments time and a place to
Speaker 2: break a ball.
Speaker 1: Okay, listen to this March seventh. Oh wow, Denver is
Speaker 1: just so amazing. How could we ever consider anywhere else?
Speaker 1: I mean, where else can we find such a perfect
Speaker 1: combination of insufferable frat bros, depressing architecture, and fat ugly women. Ooh,
Speaker 1: but hey, maybe Brainerd, Minnesota is actually the real gem here.
Speaker 1: It's got all the same incredible features, uninspired buildings, a
Speaker 1: social scene that makes you want to claw your eyeballs out,
Speaker 1: and the added bonus that we've already been there, so
Speaker 1: we know exactly what kind of disappointment to expect. Honestly,
Speaker 1: why would we just go with BRAINERD. It's basically Denver's
Speaker 1: long lost twin of mediocracy. I am pumped to spend
Speaker 1: time with you.
Speaker 3: Dress day, eat them up session.
Speaker 1: I know that's why it's tearing the group chat apart.
Speaker 2: I would have reprimanded you seventy two hours, Reddit said
Speaker 2: go to go public golf courses in Denver or paintball
Speaker 2: uh Larimer Lounge for live.
Speaker 1: Look at look at the group chat. This is what's
Speaker 1: happening in that's the chart that says this is the
Speaker 1: percentage of people that want to go to Ireland.
Speaker 2: Versus show the show the cameras so they could see
Speaker 2: the percentage that's the vote, move it down if they
Speaker 2: could actually So what's all.
Speaker 3: The other colors?
Speaker 1: Well, there was other options outside aside from Ireland. Okay,
Speaker 1: there was Denver, Lake Tahoe.
Speaker 3: Lake Tahos. That's dope.
Speaker 1: They said no you at Utah Zion parentheses, Zion Berlin oh,
Speaker 1: it's a party. Berlin only got thirteen point five percent.
Speaker 4: They must think the wall is still there. Yeah, they said,
Speaker 4: we don't want to go to half of Berlin.
Speaker 2: Waiting about deep in and they don't want to go
Speaker 2: to Berlin.
Speaker 3: There's so much aus.
Speaker 1: Thing they don't want to go. Greetings Team, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: See this is like how the email everyone's now using chat.
Speaker 1: Greetings Team, I hope your week is off to a
Speaker 1: great start. Following the updated input from x y Z,
Speaker 1: we have a shift in the destination preferences. Tahoe is
Speaker 1: now the leading choice, with Ireland and second place and
Speaker 1: Utah in third, not even the Denver in sight. And
Speaker 1: then there was a coup a coup a coop, there
Speaker 1: was a there was a cup. There was there was
Speaker 1: a cup and they flipped it. And that's that's coming
Speaker 1: from one of the semites in the group, Lavon, who
Speaker 1: is with me.
Speaker 3: I hope your whole group chat light show ass up
Speaker 3: in the comments I'm gonna get I think they come.
Speaker 1: They're very private people.
Speaker 4: And how many weeks away is the bachelor party?
Speaker 1: Well, then the dates got fucked, so now we have
Speaker 1: now we're in now we're in date now there's so
Speaker 1: now there's deep down on Johnson and it's there's the
Speaker 1: email thread, which by the way, started with a massive
Speaker 1: error in that one of the guys was not C Seed.
Speaker 1: Oh his email from ten years ago, his old work
Speaker 1: email was was C Seed. And then I discovered that
Speaker 1: it was the old email. I said, guys, he's not
Speaker 1: answering because he's not fucking on the email thread. So
Speaker 1: that started things. And then now there's a separate group
Speaker 1: chat where the bachelor is off because apparently he's stressed
Speaker 1: out overall all of the infighting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, y'all talk you too much. He knew
Speaker 3: a job Hi alerts.
Speaker 2: First of all, if you were doing an email chain,
Speaker 2: then we should not really be doing too much in
Speaker 2: a group chat because everything should be going to email. Hey,
Speaker 2: did you guys see the email? That should all that
Speaker 2: should that would be the only thing discussed when you're
Speaker 2: doing the email and you're doing the group chat. Now
Speaker 2: we leave in everything, bah bah because email is too long, Like,
Speaker 2: that's too much for me to read.
Speaker 3: Put in a group chat? What you put in the email?
Speaker 1: You want to know who's part of the problem.
Speaker 2: Woo me.
Speaker 3: I wanted to say that, but I was like, I.
Speaker 1: Created the new group chat because I'm having so much fun.
Speaker 1: Every look, they're still going.
Speaker 3: Didn't you say he was chaotic? Didn't I say that.
Speaker 1: I'm advocating for anywhere that does not require significant travel.
Speaker 1: And then somebody goes advocate lmfao, who are you? And
Speaker 1: then again another guy said, let's just do Manhattan. And
Speaker 1: then another guy said, I'm voting for July August. Another
Speaker 1: guy said, sorry, man, the date is no longer up
Speaker 1: for negotiations. Please prayer hands ah.
Speaker 3: When you're get you with the brand that is intoise.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 1: And then right before we started potting, I suggested a
Speaker 1: new space. I said, let's go to Iran, and I
Speaker 1: sent to Google maps of Iran.
Speaker 2: Well, now we know you're very unseerious and you just
Speaker 2: wanted to start a fight.
Speaker 1: No, I'm having a good time.
Speaker 3: I don't know how.
Speaker 2: I don't know what advice I could give for them,
Speaker 2: because for me, I'd be like, cancel the whole thing.
Speaker 3: Well, he doesn't even want to cancer the whole thing.
Speaker 4: You don't even want a bachelor party.
Speaker 1: It is a bat report.
Speaker 2: By the time the thing is about a bachelor party
Speaker 2: or a bachelor report, we're supposed to be so looking
Speaker 2: forward to. But the way this is going, by the
Speaker 2: time y'all get there, somebody, a.
Speaker 3: Real brawl is going to happen.
Speaker 1: I think it's probably true, a real braw definitely gonna
Speaker 1: get probably kidnapped.
Speaker 3: It's too much build up.
Speaker 1: They're going to be mean to me, I think, or
Speaker 1: you're gonna be mean to them. I sent a heartfelt
Speaker 1: message yesterday fromt no I sent. I wrote it myself.
Speaker 1: I said, I apologize for making the threat uncomfortable. I
Speaker 1: will do better in the future. I am available. I'm
Speaker 1: available for many of the days. Please let me know
Speaker 1: what you all decide. And I will also send Bachelor
Speaker 1: a basking Robin's gift card for the emotional damage I
Speaker 1: have caused him. I guess I technically owe all of
Speaker 1: you basking Robin's gift cards. Please send your addresses at
Speaker 1: your earliest convenience and I'll get those sent out. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm blocking you. I would definitely block you on
Speaker 3: there because you got to get up off my line
Speaker 3: with this bullshit. Now saream.
Speaker 2: Nobody is going to really hit you because you are
Speaker 2: the famous person out of the group. I do think
Speaker 2: you should bring everybody from the group to subway takes
Speaker 2: and every vision has beyond they don't look.
Speaker 1: At this, say so, my nickname is Jumbo Jumbo fucked everything.
Speaker 1: Rick's already sensitive and feels like he's burdening everyone by
Speaker 1: taking their time. And then another guy goes, I'm out,
Speaker 1: and then another guy goes lame ass non communicating white fox.
Speaker 3: Loo Lol, that might be the title.
Speaker 1: And then another guy who's one percent Egyptian goes, I'm Egyptian.
Speaker 1: This is crazy. Don't call me white.
Speaker 3: One percent of Egyptian is why.
Speaker 1: He took ancestry dot com and he discovered he was.
Speaker 2: One percent the wrist, I think it might be one
Speaker 2: percent Egyptian.
Speaker 1: You're more than one percent for are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: I mean Beyonce. I tried to take the whole thing.
Speaker 1: They made that documentary about never t t No Cleopatra
Speaker 1: that was.
Speaker 3: In the group chat as well.
Speaker 1: No No, that was in a different group chat that
Speaker 1: was in people of color Kareem.
Speaker 2: I think, oh, you know what, why didn't y'all get
Speaker 2: Cowboy Carter tickets?
Speaker 3: That would be a great batcher ladies, that's how you
Speaker 3: did all it is.
Speaker 2: You should say why don't we just go to Beyonce
Speaker 2: and then everybody will leave the group.
Speaker 1: That's a good idea, but then I won't get to
Speaker 1: go on a bachelor party. The bachelor party is my doing.
Speaker 3: It's not going to be a party, friend the puppetmaster.
Speaker 4: If you get married to your girlfriend wife, then you
Speaker 4: could have your own bachelor show.
Speaker 1: Them exactly how it's done. So when you do that,
Speaker 1: I already threatened that. That's been. That's been. I threatened it,
Speaker 1: el said, I said, you guys don't understand. You'll see
Speaker 1: what happens when it's my turn.
Speaker 2: I think when people are planning stuff for a group,
Speaker 2: they need to think about the group and not put
Speaker 2: their own things, like project what they actually.
Speaker 1: Want to agree. That's rude.
Speaker 2: I agree the way the way you get down is
Speaker 2: not how everybody else gets down.
Speaker 1: Wait, are you saying I'm the problem? You are?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: I look, I also am the ball buster. I'm funny. No,
Speaker 1: you don't think one thing you.
Speaker 2: Said made me go ha hapy. Everything you said in
Speaker 2: that man, I said, are we even friends?
Speaker 1: Put? Are we put me in? Fucking wait?
Speaker 3: I mean it would leave?
Speaker 1: I mean it, okay, don't put in ten percent?
Speaker 3: Yes, she is, she is.
Speaker 6: I'm making you one, Kareem.
Speaker 2: I want to know, how do you would you consider
Speaker 2: you guys friends because you've actually had experiences of friends,
Speaker 2: because you have been together for a long time. Because
Speaker 2: that long time, I think men equate like time with
Speaker 2: friendship and not actual things.
Speaker 1: It's both. Okay, we're longtime friends, and this is probably
Speaker 1: the most intense it's ever been. Really, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm also I keep thinking it's a bit, but apparently
Speaker 1: it seems as if no one else thinks it's a bit.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just having fun. I'm like, I'm not actually
Speaker 1: gonna send basket robins gift cards. I don't even know
Speaker 1: where basket not one. So that's what I'm saying. I'm
Speaker 1: just having a good I'm like, let's keep it. Look,
Speaker 1: if they want to go to Denver, I'll go to Denver.
Speaker 1: I'll have a ye, keep myself entertaining.
Speaker 2: And when you get there, I think that's when you
Speaker 2: should pass out all the basket robbin cards.
Speaker 1: No, when I get there, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm
Speaker 1: already transitioning into excitement. So I've already found a really
Speaker 1: great great pancakes establishment. I found a great a great
Speaker 1: place for fish tacos.
Speaker 3: Everyone explain what is actually fun anymore?
Speaker 2: Because I feel like you don't.
Speaker 1: It's fine.
Speaker 2: I think eating it depends. I think if we like
Speaker 2: do tap us like we're sharing, that's fun.
Speaker 1: That's not fun. Breakfast smell you don't, Well, they get
Speaker 1: so create said.
Speaker 3: We have to share pancakes, share soup with you.
Speaker 1: That's discussion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's from some slurpers. Again.
Speaker 2: The hair like, I can't because it will fall into
Speaker 2: the ha falling in little salt and peppers are going
Speaker 2: to get in there.
Speaker 1: That's good flavor seasoning.
Speaker 2: Okay, But because you work a lot and you have
Speaker 2: your kid and your your girlfriend, wife and your friend,
Speaker 2: what is actually fun for you?
Speaker 1: For me, yeah, this is fun. Maybe I'll start a podcast.
Speaker 1: Never bring all the.
Speaker 3: Equipment, you know.
Speaker 2: You know what I hate when there is a trip
Speaker 2: and someone is like doing work on the trip. Would
Speaker 2: I wouldn't work if you pull out your motherfucking laptop,
Speaker 2: your MacBook Pro Wi while we're in that. Actually I've
Speaker 2: done that. I remember I had to take a zoom.
Speaker 2: I had to take a zoom while we were in Miami.
Speaker 2: I took I did a zoom, I did.
Speaker 3: I was like, why did I bring?
Speaker 1: Did I just I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't even really like to leave my it's a
Speaker 3: it's a house.
Speaker 1: It used to be not for the house. It used
Speaker 1: to be the mobile. But now we have a mobile.
Speaker 3: Right that Because people had desktops.
Speaker 4: Now I've got this laptop that I and it's not
Speaker 4: fair by the windows.
Speaker 1: Your desk just st the window.
Speaker 3: No, I was watching something last night and I just
Speaker 3: had to watch.
Speaker 1: Film and television on your laptop.
Speaker 3: It was what was I watching? I was watching like The.
Speaker 1: Family Guys or something. You're like a foreigner.
Speaker 3: Why like I mean? And when I say last night,
Speaker 3: I mean it.
Speaker 1: Was like a study abroad. I wish watching Family Guy
Speaker 1: on your phone at five thirty in the morning.
Speaker 2: It's my allowed you to know that's my mess. My
Speaker 2: mess is the college that I picked. I wish I
Speaker 2: would have went to n y U.
Speaker 3: Is the college as well that my credit is in shambles.
Speaker 2: And if I win to n y U, I definitely
Speaker 2: would be further along in comedy.
Speaker 1: You would absolutely you would have a little bit of nepotism,
Speaker 1: a sprinkle of this because if you go to n YU,
Speaker 1: they're all in cahoots. They're all in cahoots. Back to
Speaker 1: the group conversation.
Speaker 3: Yes, keeping keep us in line.
Speaker 1: If you want to feature me, like, let me get
Speaker 1: a feature for one day.
Speaker 3: Everybody's gonna leave.
Speaker 1: No, I can.
Speaker 3: I can attest that you would be one annoying Do.
Speaker 2: You can you write your paragraphs or do you do
Speaker 2: the individual text? I'm an individual text. So it looks
Speaker 2: like so when you lots of life.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's not for me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like a mix send a thing, Lord, just
Speaker 4: hold me. I'm also all of my group chats are muted.
Speaker 4: Like this morning, I woke up and I said, yeah, damn,
Speaker 4: they've been texting since five am. And I just liked
Speaker 4: a couple of things and then I said something and
Speaker 4: then and I left it on me.
Speaker 1: We have to so there's no harmon. Light me in
Speaker 1: for a little bit, like I think you present to
Speaker 1: the group chat. Hey, guys, we have a guest for
Speaker 1: the next day.
Speaker 2: Oh that might give me the new show. The new
Speaker 2: show is, uh, you know, be my guest. You have
Speaker 2: one day to ipress the group chat to see if
Speaker 2: you can get in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let them know. No, No, I don't want to
Speaker 1: stand that.
Speaker 3: You don't want to stand.
Speaker 1: I want to do a set. I want to do.
Speaker 1: I want to I want to spot.
Speaker 3: I want to spot.
Speaker 2: It sounds like a nightmare. You would love me in there,
Speaker 2: I'm going to say no, I would have your support?
Speaker 1: Correct, really don't have.
Speaker 2: We're fully against you, got it right now?
Speaker 1: What kind of audience capacity like on the spot? Is anyone?
Speaker 1: Is anyone gonna be support?
Speaker 2: It's it's it's it's copperrolls, it's hot game generally speaking.
Speaker 1: And support.
Speaker 2: It's people at work, people who drive, it's London loding.
Speaker 3: Can you people that wear glasses.
Speaker 1: I'm an everyman. I'm a man of the people. I
Speaker 1: think people will support me. I hope so, but really
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't even care.
Speaker 3: Hear moose.
Speaker 2: You're taking people on a journey right now because they
Speaker 2: were with you then.
Speaker 3: Now we're against you. Now they were Now they're like
Speaker 3: to get them off.
Speaker 1: Now I'm winning them back. I'm trying to win the back.
Speaker 2: How did you get your wife girlfriend? How did you
Speaker 2: persuade her?
Speaker 4: She said, it wasn't your personality and.
Speaker 3: What was your opening line? Well?
Speaker 1: Here, So we met on the internet on a dating
Speaker 1: dating app, that I will not name. No free advertising
Speaker 1: were sponsor the show. Dating apps. See this is I'm
Speaker 1: winning the audience by helping you guys. So it was
Speaker 1: on and I had don't contact me or something like that.
Speaker 1: You know, they had that. They had these prompts. It
Speaker 1: was like, send me a message if you like, and
Speaker 1: I put breakfast for dinner. Mm hmmm, which I like
Speaker 1: breakfast for dinner. So she hit me like that. I
Speaker 1: was cute, and now you also like breakfast for dinner,
Speaker 1: just saying.
Speaker 2: Hey, don't you have a wife, girlfriend, Look don't.
Speaker 1: I'm simply platonically engaging in a discussion about breakfast for dinner.
Speaker 1: She likes it.
Speaker 3: Oh, gaslight, it's very intelligence.
Speaker 1: This is not nice. This is not nice.
Speaker 3: You in the good chat.
Speaker 1: Yes, it feels good. I like it. It feels good.
Speaker 1: So I had that in the thing she tapped. She
Speaker 1: gave me the like oh. And then I said, hey,
Speaker 1: let's do it sometime, and then she ignored me, and
Speaker 1: then I said, hey, are you available? And then she
Speaker 1: said no, I just moved back to New York. I'm
Speaker 1: getting my life together. And I said okay. I waited
Speaker 1: some more and then said hey, and she said I'm
Speaker 1: really busy right now. And I said, fuck it. And
Speaker 1: then I said the next time, I said, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: in your neighborhood, because it said where she lived. Said,
Speaker 1: I'm in your neighborhood right now if you want to
Speaker 1: swing by for a smoothie. And she said, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's right next to my house. I'll be right down.
Speaker 1: Little did she know I was actually at my home.
Speaker 1: So so she was like, I'll be down in fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes or something, or like a half hour. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, and so I ran. But along the way,
Speaker 1: I was sprinting like Forrest Gump, like I.
Speaker 3: Was, so, you was gonna get to this place sweaty
Speaker 3: as hill.
Speaker 1: I was okay with that. You were I can make
Speaker 1: up an excuse.
Speaker 3: My mouth is wide open.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. On the way there, I got
Speaker 1: stopped by someone. They pulled a kareem. How are you?
Speaker 1: And I said, I gotta go.
Speaker 3: I thought you were going to say, but then I
Speaker 3: got pulled of it.
Speaker 1: No, I was on. I was like, no, that would
Speaker 1: be crazy, that would be crazy. I no, I got stopped.
Speaker 1: I got stopped. I saw like three acquaintances and I
Speaker 1: had to at least you know, give them minute two
Speaker 1: minutes each. And then I was running, running, running, and
Speaker 1: I made it. She was already there, and you are
Speaker 1: and I'm a liar. I'm literally you're a liar.
Speaker 4: So you run into the thing exactly and she's she's
Speaker 4: there smelling.
Speaker 1: Looking great, smelling good, exactly as the pictures had shown.
Speaker 1: And I was like, and then she was in there
Speaker 1: arguing with the barista about having her dog.
Speaker 3: She had dog that was the cod block dogs.
Speaker 1: No longer with us, the.
Speaker 3: Way to bring where's the sandwich.
Speaker 1: She's not dead, he's he's no longer with us, as
Speaker 1: in in my own.
Speaker 3: He's not dead. It's crazy, sandwich.
Speaker 1: Take it back, take it back, he's no longer with us.
Speaker 1: Bring the house. But so then they were arguing, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, look you go outside.
Speaker 1: I'm going to diffuse the diffuse. Diffuse the diffuse. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna bring it down. Use this situation. What can I get?
Speaker 1: You also get a bonus cookie for her, not the
Speaker 1: dog dogs They're not for me. And so then you know,
Speaker 1: then we sit then we have like a nice pleasant
Speaker 1: She said that the minute she saw me, she was
Speaker 1: like hard.
Speaker 4: Now, sweaty, your hair probably mashed to your forehead and
Speaker 4: you grill breathing hard.
Speaker 3: Can I bring Can I bring her on the pot?
Speaker 2: Because I want to ask her what's worse a liar
Speaker 2: or somebody who's sweaty or both.
Speaker 1: Or a guy or a thirty three year old aspiring.
Speaker 2: To me, that's the that's the that's that's.
Speaker 1: Wearing a grill and blue velure corduroy pants. Now the
Speaker 1: orange shirt. The whole thing was crazy orange, like orange
Speaker 1: bright orange shirt.
Speaker 3: And she sat there and entertained it.
Speaker 1: Yes, the well for the first ten to fifteen minutes,
Speaker 1: she was like, this guy's awful, and then slowly she
Speaker 1: was like, oh, he's not so bad, because she had
Speaker 1: the same she has the same. Uh. The first impression, now,
Speaker 1: the first impression of like this guy's chaotic and crazy
Speaker 1: and unhinged and like insane, which is really not true, Like,
Speaker 1: of course I'm saying things that are a little more exaggerated,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm not truly unhinged. I'm just are
Speaker 1: you sure what I'm doing is intentional? Like in my mind,
Speaker 1: in my heart and my mind, I'm actually very zend out,
Speaker 1: like I could live a very drama free like I'm
Speaker 1: creating the drama for fun, for my own entertainment and engagement.
Speaker 1: But in reality, I'm gainfully employed. I'm providing for my family.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm having a good I have a good, nice, pleasant,
Speaker 1: relaxing situation right now. When you met her, I'm a
Speaker 1: responsible adult. But I put out an energy of like
Speaker 1: Kramer actually like really like, no.
Speaker 4: That's all the time we have for you ship.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what I feel the riz and obviously
Speaker 2: she likes the madness, so that's why.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And also you like women who I feel like, say no.
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 3: I like to you like a challenge, like the pursuit.
Speaker 1: Well, she said, honestly, the first date and then and
Speaker 1: then and then she was into me right away. Actually
Speaker 1: that's a lie.
Speaker 3: I don't believe it. Believe it.
Speaker 2: Well, she said, fifteen times were standing.
Speaker 1: She persisted. Nevertheless, he persisted, that's.
Speaker 3: What we learned here today. You gotta keep going, you know,
Speaker 3: keep keep going.
Speaker 4: And ladies, sometimes you're not really I mean, we know
Speaker 4: this sometimes I know unless it's.
Speaker 1: No, I'm doing it.
Speaker 3: You didn't have to do it.
Speaker 2: They don't know, these people, not y'all. But some people
Speaker 2: knew listeners. Hey, they could be done.
Speaker 1: She also, I will say, she didn't say no, she
Speaker 1: just said I'm busy. She gave she was curving me.
Speaker 1: That's that's no.
Speaker 3: I'm busy.
Speaker 4: Hey, I can't tell me it's.
Speaker 2: Busy, and I'm outside your way. E Marie, I'm downstairs.
Speaker 3: You throw something at me. You got it there.
Speaker 1: It's an invitation. It was an invitation.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: I'm glad it worked out for you because you did.
Speaker 4: Truly, first impressions are everything, and you sound like you
Speaker 4: had the worst first impression you could possibly.
Speaker 1: Let's not forget that. There was then, you know, the
Speaker 1: first impression, but then there was a year of turmoil,
Speaker 1: no tumultuous.
Speaker 2: You said, if you want to be with me, if
Speaker 2: you want to live with me, you have to get
Speaker 2: rid of your dog.
Speaker 3: Is that what?
Speaker 1: No? No, No, I didn't do that. Yeah, that's what I did.
Speaker 3: That's not that's not I'm projecting.
Speaker 1: So I was actually taking care of her dog, taking
Speaker 1: it on walks and training it. It was untrained, which
Speaker 1: is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Speaker 3: In a smoothie place.
Speaker 1: That dog was rude. It was digging holes. Our first date,
Speaker 1: I was the one that was turned off. It was
Speaker 1: digging holes, and she was like, letting it dig holes.
Speaker 1: I was a like in your house in the park,
Speaker 1: like we were sitting in a park. It was digging
Speaker 1: the hole the size of the stable, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to say, like, lady, your dog is digging a humongous hole.
Speaker 1: People are looking at the hole. This is uncouth. Uncouth.
Speaker 2: I like uncous for the first year because it was
Speaker 2: an on and off again because we had both just
Speaker 2: been divorced.
Speaker 3: Did she put that in a profile.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: We discovered that on maybe the third day. Because because
Speaker 1: women are like, you need to know my business.
Speaker 2: That's something you should put in a profile. I think
Speaker 2: it's meant, yes, don't lead with divorce. No, you gotta
Speaker 2: leave a divorce.
Speaker 3: Let me know. I don't want to show up right.
Speaker 2: Thinking you you you know you fresh, no baggage? What
Speaker 2: divorce different type of energy, but everybody has different types
Speaker 2: of baggage. I think putting divorced on the.
Speaker 4: Profile will make people who might actually work out with
Speaker 4: you not even want to try.
Speaker 3: I think you gotta you gotta say it.
Speaker 1: Early in the dating we did mutual third date revealed
Speaker 1: I said, I got to tell you something and she said,
Speaker 1: so do I exactly.
Speaker 2: Hey, let me tell you. I showed up right away.
Speaker 2: I said, hey, I'm a lesbian. And the men were like,
Speaker 2: so what, and there it was there.
Speaker 3: It's like we started, Hey.
Speaker 2: I am into women. I'm here one with a man. Hey,
Speaker 2: I'm a lesbian.
Speaker 3: So I swear to you.
Speaker 2: They were one guy was like upset, like visibly, like,
Speaker 2: so why are you here?
Speaker 1: Well, you said, did you know you were a lesbian
Speaker 1: before you went on the date?
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I did, because that's not giving lesbian energy to be on.
Speaker 2: A day with a man, it's giving unemployed because I was.
Speaker 2: I was very I was fresh back from l A.
Speaker 2: And I said, I got all the time. Maybe let's
Speaker 2: go to brunch, lunch, dinner, Let's have dinner for brunch,
Speaker 2: let's go to the after hours.
Speaker 3: Whatever you want. I'm available.
Speaker 1: That's insane, is crazy. Yeah, that's like me going on
Speaker 1: a date with a gay guy.
Speaker 4: And being like, I'm straight and like you would do that,
Speaker 4: but yeah, I feel like you would do it.
Speaker 3: For the content.
Speaker 1: I'm not baiting. I'm not baiting anyone.
Speaker 6: We have.
Speaker 4: We have a message we want to read. We do
Speaker 4: have a mester a listener. Yes, we want you to
Speaker 4: tell us if it's messy.
Speaker 1: Or just you want me to be involved in us.
Speaker 2: I want to read it out.
Speaker 4: This is your test to see if you can you
Speaker 4: can cut it in the group chat. Is it worth
Speaker 4: possibly putting honey in my bathroom towel? So my twenty
Speaker 4: nine she's twenty nine female husband thirty learns to get
Speaker 4: his own and stop using mine. Okay, my husband is
Speaker 4: thirty and I have been married for eight years. He
Speaker 4: has little quirks that drive me nuts, but I love
Speaker 4: him dearly. However, one of these quarks is starting to
Speaker 4: really irritate me. He always uses the used towel I've
Speaker 4: hung up to dry and use during my next shower.
Speaker 4: Not only does he use it, but after he's done,
Speaker 4: he lays it flat on the floor so he doesn't
Speaker 4: slip and doesn't hang it back up.
Speaker 3: That's nasty.
Speaker 4: After numerous times getting out of the shower only to
Speaker 4: find no towel on the rack, I finally and kindly
Speaker 4: asked him to stop using my towel.
Speaker 3: He got super defensive.
Speaker 4: I told him I was getting tired of having to
Speaker 4: trop through the carpet and into the hallway naked.
Speaker 3: And cold to grab a towel after my shower.
Speaker 4: He told me I was being unreasonable and that the
Speaker 4: answer to my concern is for me to check that
Speaker 4: my towel is there before I shower. That totally pissed
Speaker 4: me off. I thought he'd see the fair solution to
Speaker 4: be that he should check for his own towel and
Speaker 4: go and get one for himself, But instead he just
Speaker 4: thinks I'm nagging and getting upset over nothing. It honestly
Speaker 4: seems childish, and thanks to my overdeveloped sense of justice,
Speaker 4: I'm debating resorting to the level of his immaturity to
Speaker 4: teach him a lesson.
Speaker 3: My solution is to prank my husband. He hates being sticky, and.
Speaker 4: I planned on putting honey all on the inside of
Speaker 4: my towel and hanging it up to hide the stickiness
Speaker 4: from him. When he goes to dry himself, all instantly
Speaker 4: gets sticky.
Speaker 3: However, this could obviously backfire.
Speaker 4: And make me look like I'm overreacting. So what do
Speaker 4: we think, Fight fire with fire or just start getting
Speaker 4: a new towel every shower. I don't think he's going
Speaker 4: to stop using.
Speaker 1: Mind divorce divorce. I mean, look, this is exactly that
Speaker 1: this is. This is similar to my experience in the
Speaker 1: Bachelor party, fire with fire. I think, put the honey
Speaker 1: in there, Yeah, and report it.
Speaker 3: I'm here for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, put the honey in there. It's harmless prank.
Speaker 3: She said, My husband hates being sticky.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious, she said, I I have to go out
Speaker 1: outside in the hallway, cold and naked.
Speaker 4: Yeah, babe, I think you need to get a bathrobe
Speaker 4: for the shower.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a good wait, this is a good point.
Speaker 4: Yeahthe but also sticky towel for him.
Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, sticky towel. I'm also on. I feel
Speaker 1: like the honey is not even it's not bad. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know, I know he hates being sticky, But is
Speaker 1: there something else that she could do that's worse?
Speaker 3: Put period on it? I would, I would.
Speaker 2: I would period on the on the towel and you
Speaker 2: put it is.
Speaker 1: A little sticky.
Speaker 3: No, not this.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: Mike's hot, honey on the yes, or he is hot,
Speaker 4: he will not.
Speaker 1: Go in his pep hole business. Yeah, honey might be
Speaker 1: better because this definitely sounds like a white couple. By
Speaker 1: the way, so he's his.
Speaker 2: The first of all, when I heard who is my
Speaker 2: wet towel nasty?
Speaker 1: Wait? I want to know. So he's using her wet
Speaker 1: towel like he's a dog, and then he's putting the
Speaker 1: towel on the floor like he's a dog, and then
Speaker 1: he hangs it back.
Speaker 3: Up on the floor.
Speaker 2: I think she needs to leave him, because what if
Speaker 2: you can't understand how using my wet towel is like
Speaker 2: where's the boundaries too?
Speaker 3: And then you leave it on the floor? Are you
Speaker 3: a child?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 3: None of this would get me.
Speaker 2: Damn as a woman like I would look at every
Speaker 2: time he would want to cook up. I would be like,
Speaker 2: wet towel on the floor that you use, that's mine nasty?
Speaker 3: But also you.
Speaker 4: Don't like being sticky. But he's okay with using a
Speaker 4: wet towel.
Speaker 2: Period on the towel. I'm telling you it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm just you said, honey, I say, period.
Speaker 1: How many towels do you think this family house?
Speaker 3: Not enough?
Speaker 1: Sounds like it.
Speaker 4: Sounds like they have a towel for the family one
Speaker 4: literally want to send them towels.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, get the sponsors.
Speaker 3: Maybe you ought to put more towels in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 2: First of all, they're too young. Why are they married.
Speaker 3: They've been together for eight years. That's breakup. You gotta
Speaker 3: meet somebody else, meet.
Speaker 2: Somebody else that understands that to get their own time.
Speaker 1: Wait, I have another question. Why aren't there just two towels?
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, like like on separate sides, like
Speaker 1: his towels howl left her towels on the right.
Speaker 3: It sounds like he just do they live in a
Speaker 3: studio apartment? What's going on? Tow must they must have
Speaker 3: no closet space or nothing.
Speaker 1: This sounds crazy unless he's being like intentionally uh ob to.
Speaker 2: This is driving me wild, and they again, I'm leaving
Speaker 2: the group chat because it's not really making any sense.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: My fear about the honey and the towel, though, is
Speaker 4: he's going to use the side that don't have no
Speaker 4: honey on it and then put the sticky side down
Speaker 4: and now they got honey on your floor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what you were worried about.
Speaker 2: I was worried that he was gonna use it on
Speaker 2: his face and get in his eye and then he
Speaker 2: has to go to the hospital.
Speaker 1: That's his business. That's funny. I think that's quite funny.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go to the hospital for that.
Speaker 3: You never know.
Speaker 1: The little kids put honey on their face all the time,
Speaker 1: hot though, fuck it.
Speaker 3: Listen. This podcast is sponsored by Mike's Honey.
Speaker 1: I hope so and the towel brand. Is there any
Speaker 1: towel brands out there?
Speaker 2: Parachute, Brooklyn they make towels too, They got towels.
Speaker 1: I think I have some Brooklyn on towels. How many
Speaker 1: towles do you guys have.
Speaker 3: In my home? Yeah? Maybe like five.
Speaker 1: That's nice for one person, but I don't.
Speaker 3: Really use the towels. I have two bathrooms, and I'll
Speaker 3: put a different bathroom every.
Speaker 4: Time I get off the get out of the shower,
Speaker 4: so I.
Speaker 3: Could lotion my BODYO. That's smart.
Speaker 1: But you're like a slow Oh yeah, you're like a
Speaker 1: slow get ready sort of person.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm a slow I'm a slow until already late.
Speaker 2: And then from the tent towels, yes, you know the number.
Speaker 3: I know how many I ordered because it's a new apartment.
Speaker 2: So I just want to have enough towel for me
Speaker 2: my guests, you know, like I want to do it
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 3: I I come from a I was living with a friend.
Speaker 2: And I would constantly have to get new towels because
Speaker 2: I'd be like, where the the towels?
Speaker 3: Am I?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: Do they have my towels?
Speaker 2: Do I have my towel? I don't know who has
Speaker 2: the towels? So now abundant mindset.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm bringing from a place of black being here.
Speaker 3: Thank you great, I've learned so much.
Speaker 2: You're a chaotic uh, you know, controlled charming, chaos, charming
Speaker 2: chaoses and that yes, and the fact that you are
Speaker 2: able to show up sweaty, late, lying divorced in corduroys
Speaker 2: and an orange top uh and and aspiring wife girlfriend,
Speaker 2: baby mother.
Speaker 3: Wow, you should give the ten talk. Help them help
Speaker 3: the other men's out.
Speaker 2: Honestly, they don't need any more help because I'm sure
Speaker 2: there's so many other stories just like you, And I
Speaker 2: bet you these guys don't even look half as good
Speaker 2: as you do.
Speaker 1: That is a very nice there, it is. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys so much.
Speaker 3: Periods.
Speaker 1: Please just group on the towel.
Speaker 3: That's not one hour?
Speaker 1: One hour?
Speaker 3: Is you already out? I'll pay you pay, all right?
Speaker 3: You want to get in what the.
Speaker 1: Sponsored by Kareem.
Speaker 4: Yes, where where can the people listening catch you? Tell
Speaker 4: them where you're at.
Speaker 1: There's a new podcast called Suboy Takes Uncut, which is
Speaker 1: on Spotify and Apple and YouTube and such. Kareem on Instagram,
Speaker 1: somebody takes on Instagram and TikTok and I'm just around.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: You snagged the Kareem handle.
Speaker 1: And when I was poor, I tried to sell it
Speaker 1: to Kareem abdul Jabbar and shut up. Yeah, and how
Speaker 1: much were you trying to sell it? For? Five K?
Speaker 1: And what did he say? He ignored me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but now I have because the real Karem.
Speaker 1: This was inspiring comedian. I was like, I'm poor, I
Speaker 1: need I need five thousand dollars. I DMed every famous
Speaker 1: Kareem and I said, I'll sell you my name for
Speaker 1: five K.
Speaker 3: How many other famous Kareems are there?
Speaker 1: There's like five. There's a skateboarder, a photographer, a basketball player.
Speaker 3: And now you you're on that list? Are you on Forbes?
Speaker 1: I'm not on Forbes.
Speaker 2: Forty sweaty undersweat Forbes sweaty undersweaty another title.
Speaker 1: Love this so fun? Thank you, Thank you, miss you.
Speaker 1: Moore No I'm here.
Speaker 3: Now we're here. This is friendship and now you're mister again.
Speaker 1: See you when Denver may.
Speaker 3: Hey, guys, wait, remember that we need.
Speaker 2: People to send messages, and that the people send messages.
Speaker 2: What you said, no, you're like you already questioned Mike.
Speaker 2: You said no, no, no, no, yeah, tell them the number. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Please send your mess to mess the podcast at gmail
Speaker 2: dot com.
Speaker 3: Also, we want to hear your voices.
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 3: What's the number?
Speaker 4: Seven six three two eight zero six five eight eight,
Speaker 4: Sydney say it?
Speaker 3: Yes, I had already forgotten. I was like seven six
Speaker 3: three two eight zero six five hey eight. Please again,
Speaker 3: that's not like you've never said a phone number, and.
Speaker 2: Please call us with your mess at seven six three
Speaker 2: to eight zero six five.
Speaker 3: Eight eight bye.
Speaker 4: Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
Speaker 4: by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts. Created
Speaker 4: and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced
Speaker 4: by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos,
Speaker 4: edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 3: If you would like your messages read on air, please
Speaker 3: email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or
Speaker 3: call for your messages to be played at seven six
Speaker 3: three two eight zero six five eight eight