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Speaker 1: This is okay. Ope, I'm Samuel Donna and I'm Tough

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Speaker 1: FORR and we tell the funniest stories on the Internet.

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Speaker 1: Whenever I see it, like I was just we were

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Speaker 1: just saying, oh yeah. Whenever I think of oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I always think of you know, Vector from Despicable Me,

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Speaker 1: The Yeah, the bull cut, Oh yeah. Yeah. There's this

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Speaker 1: guy on TikTok that his whole have you seen that guy? Oh?

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Speaker 1: His whole thing is like the whole thing is dressing

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Speaker 1: up as as vector.

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Speaker 2: Once you find something that works, you know, well.

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Speaker 1: Then it's like it's like I imagine, I imagine he

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Speaker 1: just like one day dressed up as vector and thought

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Speaker 1: it'd be funny for a TikTok Yeah, and then it

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Speaker 1: popped off and he did another one, and then it's like,

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Speaker 1: this is my life now, I am vector.

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Speaker 2: That is wild, Like you just.

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Speaker 1: Become something that like like you become just like you're

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Speaker 1: like the TikTok audience just forces you to metamorphosize into

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Speaker 1: another being.

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Speaker 2: That's what I love about doing something like this. It's

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Speaker 2: like we still are individual people and we're kind of

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Speaker 2: like in this show, that guy literally has to be

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Speaker 2: vector in all like every like I don't know public

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Speaker 2: engagement or like anything.

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Speaker 1: He literally has to be vector. Yeah, and there's no choice,

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Speaker 1: Like is that is that? Is it like a copywriter

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Speaker 1: around that or something like is he allowed to be?

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Speaker 1: That's a good question.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's like satire and he can get like snl

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Speaker 2: like they're able to Oh yeahs.

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Speaker 1: Like like he's like not vector. Yeah, anyway, I got

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Speaker 1: a story for you now, two story story right now.

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Speaker 1: Eating a chip. It tastes good eating a chip in

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Speaker 1: your neighborhood. What am I eating? I'm eating a chip?

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you dip this chip in your lip?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: We're making out. We're eating this chip together. It's like

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Speaker 1: Lady in the tramp, Oh, but with chips zipped spaghetti.

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Speaker 1: M Well, why haven't they done like boba drink in

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Speaker 1: a bottle?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like like do I have to get it?

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Speaker 2: That's a great question. Half get in the store. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was knocked out and robbed of everything after picking

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Speaker 1: up a hitchhiker. Then I finally find my family and

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Speaker 1: give them the biggest surprise of their lives.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a terrible road trip to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, dude, you don't you don't don't pick it,

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Speaker 1: like it's not the seventies anymore. Don't pick up hitchhikers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it could be interesting, but it's.

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Speaker 1: Just so it's just it's just dangerous. Yeah, it's just

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Speaker 1: I think I think maybe like us, like if you're like,

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Speaker 1: you know, so big strong men, that's right, maybe it's fine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like I just I also feel bad because, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're helping someone out, so it's like, you

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Speaker 1: know you want to do that, but uh, literally there

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Speaker 1: were whole strings of murders and like in like the

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Speaker 1: seventies and eighties, like right, like the serial killers literally

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Speaker 1: target people who by hitchhiking.

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Speaker 2: That's their like, that's their things, that's their move energy. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Bro, it's like, oh, this dumb fellow wants to go

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Speaker 1: pick up a random person, easy target. True, true, still

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Speaker 1: be nice, but Sariah Killer's out there, they're targeting you.

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Speaker 1: This happened a few years ago when I was living

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Speaker 1: in Zimbabwe at the time.

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Speaker 2: Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe.

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Speaker 1: Zimbabwe isn't like the Zimbabwean dollar worth like nothing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like the classic every time someone says inflation,

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Speaker 2: it's like Zimba boy, Zimbabwe had barrels of money.

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Speaker 1: Or oh, dude, it looks crazy. It looks crazy. Just

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Speaker 1: money is just paper, y'all. Never forget bitcoin. This happened

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Speaker 1: a few years ago, and I was living in Zimbabwe

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Speaker 1: at the time, and it was having a pretty bad day.

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Speaker 1: I was going to see my auntie who lived about

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Speaker 1: four hundred kilometers away from me. If you're African, which

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Speaker 1: I am not, so I may not understand, you'll understand

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Speaker 1: that this is no small journey. So I got in

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Speaker 1: my car and set off in About three hours into

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Speaker 1: the journey, him across this dude by the side of

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Speaker 1: the road who was going in the same direction. So,

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Speaker 1: out of the goodness of my heart, good job, op,

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Speaker 1: I said, jump in. We go to talking and he

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Speaker 1: happened to be going to the exact same village as me,

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Speaker 1: and he knew my auntie. What are the odds, What

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Speaker 1: are the odds?

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Speaker 2: Where are you going? Oh? I'm going there too. Who

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Speaker 2: are you seeing? That's my best friend? Trust establish there

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Speaker 2: we go.

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Speaker 1: Half an hour passes and we're making polite chit chat

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Speaker 1: and reminiscing about old times in Zimbabwe when the dollar

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Speaker 1: was worth a dollar. Remember when we didn't have to

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Speaker 1: lug all this money around no wheelbarrels needed, no wheelchairs needed,

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Speaker 1: going to fit that money in the wallet, when all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, he tells me to pull over, so

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Speaker 1: I do. He runs out of the car and starts

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Speaker 1: making wretching noises, so I assume he's throwing up. It's

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Speaker 1: dark at this point, so I can't really much, so

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Speaker 1: I go check on him.

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Speaker 2: First mistake.

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Speaker 1: I get out and go to his side, expecting him

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Speaker 1: to be there, but he's not. Then I hear someone

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Speaker 1: behind me, and before I know it, I'm unconscious. No,

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Speaker 1: oh god. So I wake up a couple hours later.

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Speaker 1: I know this because the sun was coming out at

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Speaker 1: this point without my car, clothes or wallets.

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Speaker 2: No clothes, Oh gosh. It doesn't specify if he had

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Speaker 2: like underwear in it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, but I assume no clothes. I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking no clothes.

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Speaker 2: That dude being it's one thing having all your possession

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Speaker 2: is gone. Being naked and stranded.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just like, oh, that's just I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's just mean.

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Speaker 2: Literally, you don't need his tidy whities or his like

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Speaker 2: you really need his pants.

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Speaker 1: He really tried to steal this guy's like thirty year

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Speaker 1: old underwear.

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Speaker 2: And imagine this poor guy is running up to people

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Speaker 2: in town like please, I've been robbed, and they're like.

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Speaker 1: Crazy, man, I'm not bitching. I'm not picking up no hitchhiker.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, oh here you go. You're you're you're hitch hiking.

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Speaker 2: But instead of your thumb up and just just sticking

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Speaker 2: out the thing up, baby, I'm ready to be picked up. Guys.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully it's longer than your thumb. So again, just more attention.

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Speaker 1: So I'm thinking, great, I look around and see I'm

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Speaker 1: on some farmland wearing the guys what. I look around

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Speaker 1: and see him on some farmland wearing the guy's clothes,

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Speaker 1: wearing the robbers clothes. Yeah, he's so he.

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Speaker 2: Took he took his clothes and he put the robber

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Speaker 2: put his clothes on him. Woway.

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Speaker 1: Wait. I look around and see him on farm land

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Speaker 1: wearing the other guy's clothes. I didn't even I was

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Speaker 1: reading that. I'm like, what the heck is happening?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The robber was like, bro, that shirt is fire. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna cop this bit.

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Speaker 2: Literally, It's like, what do you need? Like what are

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Speaker 2: we doing?

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Speaker 1: And like he's really like, let's Robert took his time

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Speaker 1: taking all this shit, oh yeah, and dressing him back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I guess at least it was better than leaving.

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Speaker 2: At least Sophie's not nick.

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Speaker 1: So I start walking in no particular direction and eventually

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Speaker 1: come across as settlements. I explained to them my situation,

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Speaker 1: and they tell me the nearest main road is at

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Speaker 1: least a good half a day's walk from where I am,

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Speaker 1: and they don't get many cars coming through this park,

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Speaker 1: but they heard one last night which might be our thief.

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Speaker 1: I started walking in the direction they pointed me, and

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Speaker 1: after what felt like forever, I come across a road.

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Speaker 1: So I pitch up and start waiting. Now I know

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Speaker 1: what most of you are thinking, why not call someone? Well,

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Speaker 1: I had no phone with me, and I don't have

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Speaker 1: the best memory, so I didn't know any of the

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Speaker 1: numbers that would come in handy. And also like, how

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Speaker 1: many numbers do you know? I do know my dad

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Speaker 1: and my mom's number. Yeah, I know my dad and

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Speaker 1: my numb I know my dad and my mom's number,

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Speaker 1: I know my ex girlfriends.

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Speaker 2: I know my friend from elementary school's house number. Stay

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Speaker 2: out loud. I literally almost started saying my mom and

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Speaker 2: my dad's number.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, see I think like you, like there

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Speaker 1: was a certain point where you just didn't need to remember.

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Speaker 2: We're truly the last generation because like I got a

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Speaker 2: cell phone in like middle school. Yeah, now everyone, every

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Speaker 2: kid beyond is going to have cell phones with like

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Speaker 2: contacts exactly.

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Speaker 1: Like the only reason that I memorized my ex girlfriend's

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Speaker 1: number is because I'm like, oh, it'll be cute if

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Speaker 1: I just never remember my heart. Not cute. Guess what

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Speaker 1: I memorized yourself. After a couple hours, a car stops

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Speaker 1: and lets me hitch. I let him know the situation,

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Speaker 1: and he says, we're in the I'm just imagining. Like

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Speaker 1: he gets in the car and then they rob him

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Speaker 1: of his It's like, yeah, that feelings great.

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Speaker 2: My last No, they literally like take his clothes and

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Speaker 2: knock him out, take his clothes, and they just gave

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Speaker 2: him like a potato sack, like a potato sacking diaper.

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Speaker 1: You know, you know, Dobby like a Billow kid. You

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Speaker 1: gifted Dobby with a sucks, gifted Dobby with the Oh god,

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Speaker 1: he is free. I just watched Harry Potter, so I

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Speaker 1: got all the quotes in my head.

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Speaker 2: Nice okay, wait or uh.

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Speaker 1: After a couple hours of car stops and lets me hitch,

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Speaker 1: I let him know the situation and he says, we're

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Speaker 1: in the complete opposite direction of my intended destination, but

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Speaker 1: he's willing to drop me close enough to walk the

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Speaker 1: rest of the way to which I thought great. Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: It takes a good two days to get there. And

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Speaker 1: he drops me off and I say my goodbyes to

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Speaker 1: my driver. I take down his numbers so I can

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Speaker 1: repay him later on, which is dude, Like, oh he

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Speaker 1: is so nice.

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Speaker 2: Such a saying dude, such a saying bro got.

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Speaker 1: His clothes, his car's phone stolen, and he's still thinking

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Speaker 1: about repaying this guy, Like, what a legend.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: At this point, I'm starting to recognize my surroundings. I

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Speaker 1: walk for a few miles, and as I'm getting closer

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Speaker 1: to my aunties, I can hear a lot of singing

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Speaker 1: in what appears to be a large crowd, which I

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Speaker 1: thought was strange. I'm about one hundred feet from my

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Speaker 1: house and I see my son, which again I thought

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Speaker 1: was strange because he was meant to be in school

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Speaker 1: at this time, But instead of running to me and

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Speaker 1: hugging me as he normally does. He runs away, screaming

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Speaker 1: to my complete bewilderments. I get to the gate, and

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the large crowd, alerted by my

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Speaker 1: son's screams, had stopped singing and has stood silent. My

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Speaker 1: wife appears and starts to run towards me, hugging and

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Speaker 1: kissing me like I've been gone for months. My aunty

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Speaker 1: appears and immediately faints when she sees me. I still

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Speaker 1: have no clue what's going on at this point, and

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Speaker 1: I'm exhausted, so we rush to get my auntie inside,

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Speaker 1: and I see my picture on top of a large

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Speaker 1: box that resembles a coffin sitting in the living room.

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Speaker 1: So it turns out the guy who robbed me and

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Speaker 1: made off with my car, my wallet, and all my

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Speaker 1: clothes was in a car crash. It was so bad

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Speaker 1: that they couldn't identify the body, and because the only

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Speaker 1: things they could use to identify him was my wallet,

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Speaker 1: and they assumed that it was me that had died

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Speaker 1: in the crash. Since there was no body of sorts,

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Speaker 1: they could arrange the funeral pretty quickly, and that is

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Speaker 1: what I stumbled upon. My son still has nightmares to

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Speaker 1: this day, and my wife has told me to never

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Speaker 1: pick up a hitchhiker again.

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Speaker 2: That is a crazy story.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 2: My guy pulled up to his own future stage.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't it like some uh oh there's some uh like

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Speaker 1: celebrity that wanted to throw his own funeral before he died.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure they probably all do. Honestly, I don't remember.

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Speaker 1: Taking their own death. Wow, freaking crazy, bro, that's insane.

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Speaker 1: Zimbabwe's nuts man, dude. Oh, I guess like everywhere you got,

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Speaker 1: you got carjackers, you got Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And Op just kept being a nice guy. He wouldn't

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Speaker 2: stop watch one day in the future, Like he's just

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Speaker 2: gonna be driving along and be like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: it's been a few years, Like it's this person looks stranded.

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Speaker 1: No, don't do it, don't do it. Please put your

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Speaker 1: family through that again. Yeah, but you know what, you

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Speaker 1: should always put your family through.

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Speaker 2: Oh, watching okop and subscribing ooh.

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Speaker 1: Follow us on Spotify and TikTok, subscribe on YouTube, and

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Speaker 1: if you want to be a real one, support us

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Speaker 1: on Patreon.

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Speaker 2: That's right. Join the family. James and Felicia, Joey, Sandra

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Speaker 2: Ariel Casey's aforious to VNA mo Amanda will DESIREE Keegan

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Speaker 2: and Catholic quickly. Oh yeah,