00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough. And I already had too much stuff. So how did you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. We're in the backyard, Ah. If you're just tuning in, this is the beginning of the podcast. Here we are. We're excited to be here. The heat is overwhelming, but it's not a weather podcast. We're not going to talk about that. I've got a room temperature water, which I'll be able to enjoy throughout the podcast. And what else is happening? I'm just I was in Utah. I back. I faced some you know, I had to look at some photos of myself from two thousand and seven and I faced that. And so I'm in a different place. Now where are we. I've had my coffee, obviously, I'm having a great time. I love today's guest. I think today's guest is so unbelievably funny. It's Joe Quizala. Hello Joe, what's the latest in tech? 00:01:40 Speaker 3: What's going On. 00:01:42 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:01:43 Speaker 3: No, they're still disrupting, disrupting, and I'm at the forefront of it. As you know, your listeners don't even need an introduction. They know I am a tech. 00:01:52 Speaker 2: Guru, mister startup, exact. 00:01:56 Speaker 3: VC, angel investors, seed money, all of this stuff is you know, my bread and butter. 00:02:04 Speaker 2: No, I mean, listener, Joe, I mean does invest a lot in the Silicon Valley space. But you know him. 00:02:12 Speaker 3: We don't need to bore them with those details right now. 00:02:14 Speaker 2: But like Elon Musk, also a comedian. Uh so, we're so happy to have you here. 00:02:21 Speaker 3: Thank you. It's funny. I am not because of Elon's interest in comedy, and you may be the same way. I am like probably one degree away from him, because he hired a bunch of Onion writers, yes, like a few years ago, and I knew many of. 00:02:35 Speaker 2: Them, of course, wonderful people. 00:02:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, and uh what a And who could forget the publication that they released with Elon Musk. I mean we were reading it every day and we still are. 00:02:47 Speaker 2: That was such a fascinating journey because we all within comedy watched him kind of dump money into a project for a while. 00:02:55 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, at least a few years. Yes, took people directly from the Onion, and I, as I re called, those people were ready to leave the Onion. Which is funny to think that, like he would provide shelter for people who felt wronged by a company. 00:03:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, the last person you would expect to. 00:03:14 Speaker 3: At the time, he hadn't quite made his public heel turn. 00:03:18 Speaker 2: Right, We didn't quite know what was going on there. We knew there was money, yes, and that should have been a red flag. Yes, well, well, I feel like at the time we still had a positive or not a positive opinion, but a confused look at Elon. And we didn't hate Grimes yet. 00:03:35 Speaker 3: No, No, I hadn't. 00:03:36 Speaker 2: Spent all of her goodwill. Grimes was safe. 00:03:39 Speaker 3: Grimes was completely safe. We definitely all knew who she was. We all knew who she was, and I would say I still could tell you all of her huge hits. 00:03:49 Speaker 2: For me, had a great level of respect. People were looking to Grimes as kind of oh, this person we can respect and now a clown. 00:03:59 Speaker 3: Who Yeah, no, a buffoon truly auf well, because all right, I I and I was tipping my hand here. I know of Grimes as a figure in pop culture, a musician. I am told I can't act cool enough to say that, I like know grimes as music, but seem to be on the indie side of things. Correct, But like indie alt maybe is a better. 00:04:22 Speaker 2: Word interesting pop, I would say, yeah. 00:04:26 Speaker 3: And someone who's look an aesthetic certainly was very cool and transcended the normal boundaries of what we consider to be anything. 00:04:37 Speaker 2: And now people know about her like you know about her. Yes, she married a maniac and then divorced. 00:04:44 Speaker 3: Yes, and then divorced, but that does not absolve her ever since. 00:04:47 Speaker 2: No, absolutely not well, and she's certainly not making amends. She continues to do stupid shit all the time. 00:04:52 Speaker 3: Now if she joined some sort of cause, as though to say I had been, uh, you know, drinking the kool aid, I see what was And listen again, I don't know that she's not doing this. I don't, we're not. I'm not up on my grimes news. But yeah, it doesn't. It does not seem like she's leading any charge. But you know, there's still time. There's time for grimes. 00:05:13 Speaker 2: Has there ever been a celebrity who didn't commit an actual crime but did some of this garbage? Acted like a moron for a long time and then you know, repentant of it, and then we were like, oh, we're back on your side. I don't know that that's ever actually happened. 00:05:25 Speaker 3: That's a great question, because I feel like given the sheer number of celebrities, like just odds are it must have happened once. I mean I was thinking recently obviously because of a mission impossible, Tom Cruise's kind of miraculous pull out of the tailspin and he is Maverick and so should we not expect But the fact that like we went on Oprah and was up on the couch and just being like peak weirdo and we were all like, no, thanks, uh uh. And the fact that he is back, maybe more than ever Hollywood's favorite celebrity. 00:06:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a fascinating one because they're still right there for him to grab dropping scientology and then probably running for president like he would, I mean, we would just let him be president. 00:06:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't need an election. We all decide to forego that process. 00:06:19 Speaker 2: Yeah. So I guess it's just he How did that happen? I guess he just got a little more quiet. 00:06:25 Speaker 3: I think that's definitely part of it. 00:06:26 Speaker 2: It continued being in these thrilling movies. 00:06:29 Speaker 3: Good movies because there was a period there where it was like the Jack Reacher movies. 00:06:34 Speaker 2: And I was like, maybe Night and Day. 00:06:36 Speaker 3: With uh yeah, with Cameron did yeah, oblivion, oblivion if this is the valley, this is the cruise Valley. But then you know, once because and the Mission Impossibles were happening all throughout, like you know, First Movie ninety. 00:06:51 Speaker 2: Six, nineteen ninety six is crazy. 00:06:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, But then like we those movies started to get like really good, and then we turned around Edge of Tomorrow and Tomorrow. 00:07:00 Speaker 2: Edge of Tomorrow to me feels like because he was swimming from Mission Impossible to Mission impossible, almost drowning every time. Then he had Mission Impossible and Edge of Tomorrow and then we were like, Okay, we're all back on board. 00:07:12 Speaker 3: Because Edge of Tomorrow bombed, I think because we still thought he was in that mode. Was horrible, not good. Every title I have heard for that movie, which there are several, are all bad. So is based on a book called All You Need Is Kill, which is worse than Edge of Tomorrow. And when it was released on DVD, they almost put the tagline so big you would think that was the title of the movie almost to the point of a rebrand. I don't Nova's official and that title was Live Die Repeat, Oh. 00:07:44 Speaker 2: Of Course, which which at least explains what's happening in the movie exactly. It's not good. 00:07:49 Speaker 3: Edge of Tomorrow just a slightly more poetic almost seems like a Star Trek Classic episode title. To me. 00:07:59 Speaker 2: It seems like a Why novel or something where like one of the kids is sick and they fall in love with each other. That kind of Yeah. 00:08:05 Speaker 3: No, I mean, because there's there's comparisons to like Edge of seventeen, you know what kind of a coming of age tale. But yeah, it does feel like it could be Paper Towns or what I got about The Spectacular Now? That was another one, right that like genre. 00:08:22 Speaker 2: All of these titles would work for Edge of Tomorrow. I could have been called the Spectacular Now absolutely. 00:08:28 Speaker 3: I mean, you're you're not wrong. It was every moment is is now, and it's spectacular because it's restarting. 00:08:36 Speaker 2: Now, how fascinating. Edge of seventeen, what is that movie about someone going from sixteen to seventeen? 00:08:42 Speaker 3: I think so. I think you nailed it, pivotal. I think it's just I can't say that I've seen it. I'm a little embarrassed because I've heard it's quite good. 00:08:50 Speaker 2: Is it really? 00:08:51 Speaker 3: I watched are you there, God, It's Me Margaret, which was quite good. I've heard it's great, and I believe same director. 00:08:58 Speaker 2: Oh interesting. 00:08:58 Speaker 3: It makes me think at just seventeen could be worth a watch. 00:09:03 Speaker 2: I feel like they must have dropped the ball with Margaret because that movie, I mean, that book is everyone has read it, or at least every woman has definitely. 00:09:10 Speaker 3: Read wrong ip. 00:09:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like it was really straight to video. 00:09:15 Speaker 3: It was in theaters. I did see it in theaters, but I know what you mean. It just didn't It didn't make much of an impact. 00:09:19 Speaker 2: I could not tell you who's in the movie. I never saw a clip of the movie, and I've seen a lot of clips for a lot of movies not my choice. 00:09:26 Speaker 3: You famously are bombarded by them when you leave the door. It's a reverse paparazzi. They're showing you a camera. Please please, but the parents of Margaret, and Margaret obviously is a child actor, not a name actor. Nobody straight, nobody who gets a shit. Although I think she was in an ant Man as the daughter Rachel McAdams is the mom okay, and a safety. 00:09:55 Speaker 2: Oh, one of the safeties. I can't Benji Benny. I think it's Benny Safty. 00:10:03 Speaker 3: And it's, if not him, the other one and the one who tends to be in. 00:10:07 Speaker 2: Stuff, right, the one that's in their movies. 00:10:09 Speaker 3: Yeah, right, and is in Oppenheimer. 00:10:12 Speaker 2: Oh he's an Oppenheimer. 00:10:13 Speaker 3: Wow have you seen? Have you seen the pictures of. 00:10:17 Speaker 2: The cast list? They went out, They went out and got everyone they wanted. When you initially said a Safty, I thought you were saying like a as an initial period Andrew Aaron Allison, Oh, that's an interesting but see, I couldn't have told you that. 00:10:36 Speaker 3: And that's why I'm here kind of to tell you about the cast of movies. 00:10:41 Speaker 2: In hollywood's allowed to promote anything, but you came. 00:10:44 Speaker 3: Yes, No, I came just for movies that came and went to let you know some of who I think is in the movie. 00:10:51 Speaker 2: I feel like child stars should never be a recognizable the kid should never be somebody I know from a previous movie. 00:10:56 Speaker 3: And that is healthy. Yeah, truly, Like there is an argument, yeah, that child acting should be illegal. 00:11:02 Speaker 2: It should be illegal, and I'm with I'm I may be with that, or at least if it's illegal. It should be like each kid gets to do one movie. It's almost like a school project. Yeah, where it's like and now it's Deborah's movie. Give her a chance, let her. 00:11:16 Speaker 3: Have a film, and then no more until she finished. I was gonna, says a team. I'm finish college, right, that child needs. 00:11:25 Speaker 2: To get them through some higher education. Let them experience life and find themselves. Yes, interesting idea on our part, our child agency. 00:11:35 Speaker 3: Yeah right, I interact with very few children on a day to day basis. I don't know about you, but I feel like we're qualified regardless. 00:11:43 Speaker 2: We're excellent. We should be managers. We're the new managers of children. Yeah, I'm weirdly in LA. I feel like I never see kids or teens. And maybe that's just being an adult, but I rarely see that when you. 00:11:54 Speaker 3: Go to the cheese all the time. 00:11:57 Speaker 2: So that is strange that it's a ghost towns you. 00:12:01 Speaker 3: Some say it's abandoned and you're like, no, the door is you have to pry it open with a children here, the lights are always off and I see the rat running around into a hole scampering. 00:12:13 Speaker 2: No, I don't know what that is. Maybe it's probably just my friend group. Or but when I'm out and about, I'm at the mall, well, I must see kids at the mall. Teens at the mall. It feels like a weird like you never see teens working at like fast food places here? 00:12:27 Speaker 3: Sure is that true? 00:12:28 Speaker 2: Or am I making that up? 00:12:29 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm like, how often do I go into a fast food place? 00:12:33 Speaker 2: That's an question I went to see. 00:12:35 Speaker 3: Speaking of movies, I saw Insidious colon the Red Door, the newest Insidious movie, and there were a ton of teens there. 00:12:43 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, it was fun. Horror movies are, of course, How was the movie? 00:12:50 Speaker 3: I have not seen any of the Insidious movies? Ok, so I'm coming in a number five I think number five or sake like it's it's a franchise that has been going for a while. But I had a good time because the teens were so into it. Like the teens behind me as like a scary thing is about to happen. You could hear them going and that I was laughing. 00:13:16 Speaker 2: And then are they shrieking? 00:13:17 Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh yeah? And then you know, like a guy, a little man comes out and starts crawling around on the floor or whatever and they scream and it's it's it's as fun as a movie like that, right. 00:13:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, you need for a horror movie for everyone to be scared to death. Otherwise it's just kind of a weird, confusing experience. 00:13:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, or if it's if it's funny, but then you're like, how much of a horror movie is it? 00:13:41 Speaker 2: At that point you're too comfortable. 00:13:43 Speaker 3: I try to get to that place where I'm laughing and having a good time, because when I'm just scared, I do have that thought of like what what am I? What am I doing? Like this isn't I paid to? Because some people like that. I've been told it's ever been a pleasant experience. 00:14:01 Speaker 2: You don't like to be scared, no, see. But if I go to a horror movie and this is my entire experience at this point with horror movies, I'm never scared, and so I'm like this and horror movies are fine, like at best usually and often bad. So if I'm not scared, I'm now just watching a fine movie, right, Like, occasionally a weird looking creature is in and I need to get back to a place of pure horror. Just leading the theater and terror. But I feel like the only things that really scare me now are based on a true. 00:14:30 Speaker 3: Story, Okay, because then the threat is real. 00:14:33 Speaker 2: Right, Like even now if I watch Zodiac, yeah, you know, at night, I'm scared to death. 00:14:38 Speaker 3: He's still out there. 00:14:39 Speaker 2: He's still out there. He's as active as ever. 00:14:42 Speaker 3: Listen, I've met John Carroll Lynch who plays the. 00:14:46 Speaker 2: Oh he is the possible yeah, probably Zodia. 00:14:50 Speaker 3: Probable Zodiac killer. And I'll tell you I've met him, So that means he's out there too, and. 00:14:55 Speaker 2: He might get some ideas he's done his research. How was he as a person? 00:15:00 Speaker 3: Lovely, a lovely man. 00:15:02 Speaker 2: I don't know that I could see past the Zodiac at this point? 00:15:05 Speaker 3: Well you know, have you? 00:15:07 Speaker 2: Yeah? 00:15:07 Speaker 3: I mean like, are the other roles apparent to you? Or are they just not strong enough? Because he's in Fargo. 00:15:13 Speaker 2: He is always greatly husband, a sweet, sweet man Zodiac. Yes, so I can see before he's the killing began. 00:15:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so it's all movies are a chronological timeline of his life. Right. He's also I think he plays a creepy clown in American horror story. So that's okay. 00:15:31 Speaker 2: I never seen a moment of American Horse Story. 00:15:34 Speaker 3: Me neither, okay, but I'm just aware of his of his filmography because he was helping out on a live show I used to do where I would have actors come by and I would create a game show around their filmography. 00:15:48 Speaker 2: Oh incredible. 00:15:49 Speaker 3: So I'd have like people from the audience come up and I'd have these questions and I'd have like a panel of actors. 00:15:56 Speaker 2: What a great idea for a game thank you? 00:15:58 Speaker 3: Yeah it was. And he he's been in so much stuff that it was a lot of fun. He was in Bubble Boy. 00:16:05 Speaker 2: Who was the star of Bubble Boy. 00:16:07 Speaker 3: Jake Jollnhall from Zodiac. 00:16:10 Speaker 2: Wow, that's where they met. Yeah, you know, one of them gave the other a leg up in the casting process. 00:16:17 Speaker 3: You know, Jake, we're trying to cast the guy who's probably the Zodiac Killer. Do you have anybody in mind? He's like, well, you know, there was this actor from a little movie called Bubble Boy. 00:16:28 Speaker 2: Seen bubble Boy? 00:16:30 Speaker 3: Oh you mean from John Carrolllynch of course, from Bubble Boy. You know, we were curious if you still talk to him. 00:16:35 Speaker 2: No, he seems like someone who's probably very funny. I feel like he does a lot of comedy. 00:16:39 Speaker 3: John kur Lynch, Yeah, yeah, I mean he also he played Drew Carey's brother in The Drew Carey Show. He's got like three camera sitcom chops too. 00:16:47 Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, And yet I can't see past zodiac, and so it's on me. It is only my problem. We're discovering that I'm the problem. That's fine. Have him on the show, John, if you're listening. I need to look past the zodiac, and there's only one way I can do it. You've got to be in my backyard. I'll feel threatened the entire time. Joe, I always feel like I'm missing at one letter in your last name when I say it. 00:17:12 Speaker 3: That's by design. You don't want that sea in there. The sea does nothing, The sea is silent. 00:17:17 Speaker 2: What where is this last name from? 00:17:19 Speaker 3: Poland? Poland the mother country. 00:17:21 Speaker 2: I feel like we have bad last names. 00:17:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, tough, Yeah, I mean consonants. Yeah, a lot of consonants coming out of Poland. And you know I am a perfect example of that. 00:17:33 Speaker 2: Quisala. 00:17:34 Speaker 3: I don't think it's as difficult as you would expect looking at it, because I think when people look at it, it's a combination of letters that are unfamiliar, which immediately throws you off. But then if you okay, you start off, you're like, k w A, that'll lot that by itself is fine, right, wah easy, right? And then the sea and the Z is where people are like loose, I don't know, and I get it because should you pronounce the C? Is it like czar? 00:18:04 Speaker 2: Oh? 00:18:04 Speaker 3: Which it is like czar exactly like czar. But if you're also, if you happen to be attuned to Polish, you would go maybe that should be a cha like oh interesting, like rightiker, And then you're also is it like do you stop in between the sea and the Z? Do you go quack and zala? Continue? 00:18:27 Speaker 2: It's too much, yeah, way too much ahead of I mean for a long I've known you for a while and I knew of you before, and I feel like anytime I've ever had to say your last name, I just kind of speed through it and mumble it and hope that nobody calls me on it. 00:18:38 Speaker 3: And the thing is, I'm never offended, because I understand. 00:18:41 Speaker 2: That's how I feel with my last name. But people are very sensitive about last name. 00:18:45 Speaker 3: They are, and I try to be four other people knowing the struggle. But yours is really, like you have to know. 00:18:52 Speaker 2: Because it looks like vinegar, it's not. It also starts with wine, yes, and it's not wine and gar as the we're dipping with the e. 00:19:01 Speaker 3: The I in the E could could go a lot of ways. Those are versatile letters, so it could be yeah, because are and err at the end and then wine and when in the beginning You've got a number of combinations there. 00:19:17 Speaker 2: Already it's a trap. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it is. The The pronunciation is the absolute last possibility that people would think of. 00:19:24 Speaker 3: I think I probably thought wineger. 00:19:26 Speaker 2: Oh you did. 00:19:27 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:19:28 Speaker 2: Well, but you're coming from a you grew up with a challenging last name, you know, kind of the field. 00:19:33 Speaker 3: I'm not always coming at it from from the main road, you know, I'm driving, I'm backing up into the alley. Yeah. 00:19:43 Speaker 2: Interesting. Well, now, I mean, hopefully the word spreads about both of our last names. Telemarketers will be thrilled. Did you have trouble with that when you were growing up people calling and sing your last name bad? Oh? 00:19:53 Speaker 3: Yeah? Also, I mean the the head of the household, my father, his name is. 00:19:57 Speaker 2: Amyl Amyl kuasal Am I is that Polish? 00:20:01 Speaker 3: And yeah, that is Polish. 00:20:03 Speaker 1: Uh. 00:20:04 Speaker 3: His father's name was was Amyl as well, but most people would see that name and not pronounce it Amol right, and I and even people who have that name would maybe pronounce it Emil. 00:20:15 Speaker 2: Right, I would say Emil or. 00:20:19 Speaker 3: Yeah, Emil, like almost like Emily, but stop short. And so he and my mom's name is Mary pat which is normal except people used to call her Mary growing up, which she was like, that's not my name. So she combined her name into one name, A R I p At, so it looks like marippit like. So, both my parents had extremely difficult first names, and they knew they were saddling me with a bad one for the last name. And that is why I'm named Joe. Wow. 00:20:57 Speaker 2: Do you have siblings John? Wow? They really went for it with the straightforward. 00:21:01 Speaker 3: They understood the struggle. Yeah, they were just like, we're not going to saddle these kids with the bird. They already will have enough with the last name. 00:21:12 Speaker 2: Such a beautiful, elegant Yeah, I know. 00:21:15 Speaker 3: And uh, she did it long enough ago that like she didn't have to talk to the government to change her name. Oh wow, so's that's just what it is on every official document. But that was that's not on her birth certificate. Interesting, Mary Patricia on her. 00:21:32 Speaker 2: So there was a while that you could just get in there and change your name, will you. 00:21:35 Speaker 3: Nobody nobody's paying attention. They're just like sure or. 00:21:38 Speaker 2: Fine, Now you have to get an attorney. Yeah, the whole process. 00:21:42 Speaker 3: For friends of mine who have chosen to change their names after marriage, they've told. 00:21:46 Speaker 2: Me like, oh, yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I feel like not easy after marriage at this point, don't put yourself through it. 00:21:52 Speaker 3: Grow up? 00:21:53 Speaker 2: Maybe grow up. Fairy Tale endings are a lie. 00:21:58 Speaker 3: But like what yeah, kind of what is the point? I mean, I guess if you want to do it in the sake of like family unity, I. 00:22:04 Speaker 2: Guess yeah, it could be the But then I think both parties should have to just settle on a different word. 00:22:10 Speaker 3: Hybrid or just completely brand the names. 00:22:14 Speaker 2: It should be completely unfamiliar to both parties. They just have to find a word that is now their last. 00:22:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, and so it's difficult for everybody involved. Everybody has to change it, and they've chosen a random word like refrigerator. I'm assuming is the kind of nomenclature you're going. 00:22:33 Speaker 2: For yeah, and then you know you lose friends, families confused. I think that's fine. 00:22:39 Speaker 3: I would love to see more last names that were just objects. 00:22:41 Speaker 2: Oh I love on an object. 00:22:43 Speaker 3: Table for example. We just love that guy last name. There must be again, going back to the odds of how many people exist in the world, someone's last name must be table certainly. 00:22:54 Speaker 2: I mean the rule is, if you've ever thought it, it's happened. And so Table is the last name somewhere, maybe a pro wrestler or something. They picked that as there they picked it. 00:23:05 Speaker 3: I mean, that's that's good, but I would understand why. But I mean, like it's our family name. 00:23:10 Speaker 2: Right, They've got a history headed back into who knows where. Table feels like a French word tobl Yeah, maybe it comes from table. That must be a French last name originally, and they invented the table. 00:23:22 Speaker 3: Well there's the famous night, Sir LATV. 00:23:26 Speaker 2: Sorry, Joe's unfortunately leaving the podcast. 00:23:30 Speaker 3: I am I'm riffing my way out of here. 00:23:31 Speaker 2: I do know that Jacuzzie was invented by the Jacuzzis. That's a real thing. 00:23:35 Speaker 3: Did you know broccoli is is from the Broccolis. 00:23:40 Speaker 2: This is up for debate. I think, oh, is it because I've heard that the people who run the James Bond franchise. 00:23:46 Speaker 3: Also the Broccolis of broccoli. I have been told it seems crazy, seems too good to be true. 00:23:51 Speaker 2: There is no way that family invented broccoli and James Bond and James Bond you can only do one or the other. Broccoli is kind of the James Bond of the vegetable family. I don't I don't believe that's true. I'm here just to dispel the myth. 00:24:06 Speaker 3: Well it's been It's yeah, it's that information is out there and now I feel like a fool for having believed it. But yeah, I mean, broccoli also is still a funny last name. 00:24:16 Speaker 2: Oh, it's an incredible It shouldn't be a last name. 00:24:19 Speaker 3: No, No, I mean what you and if we are to believe any of what we've heard, it originated as a last. 00:24:24 Speaker 2: Name, right, So somebody did probably originally say that green thing is broccoli like me? Yes, like me, they said. 00:24:31 Speaker 3: The person whose last name was like this is like me. 00:24:33 Speaker 2: For now it is broccoli on alice. Have you gotten any information? 00:24:38 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm reading an article that's all about essentially how they claim that the vegetable was named after them, right, so. 00:24:46 Speaker 2: That simply isn't true. 00:24:47 Speaker 3: I mean they assume it was. Probably we're an ego family, certainly someone who's inspired by our family story. 00:24:55 Speaker 4: And I mean, there's a long there's there's so much going on here about just like defining, like the word broccoli, what it comes from the Italian plural of broccolo, which means the flowering crust of a cabbage. There's a lot happening here. So all I can say is they claim it to be. 00:25:13 Speaker 2: True, all right, which leads us to believe likely you can't buy everything broccoli Broccoli family, and I think it's just the vegetable and it has nothing to do with your family, Especially. 00:25:26 Speaker 3: If we just kind of confirmed that it came from an Italian word describing broccoli exactly. 00:25:32 Speaker 2: There's something very fishy about the whole thing. I can't even think of a white in for them. No, I'm not letting them have it. I have James Bond. 00:25:40 Speaker 3: You're unnoticed, brocles, Broccoli family. Let it be known now and forever. 00:25:46 Speaker 2: Broccoli family. If you want me to see past this, there's only one way. On the podcast. 00:25:51 Speaker 3: On the pod, come come with John. 00:25:53 Speaker 2: Carrolne and missus Broccoli. 00:25:55 Speaker 3: And miss Yeah. Wow, wouldn't that be something a real meeting of the mind's true meeting. 00:26:04 Speaker 2: Joe, Oh, Joe. I was so excited to have you here today. I thought, Joe is wonderful. We get along so well, he's so funny. He's going to come on the podcast. We'll chat for a while. Who knows what we'll talk about, but well it'll be a good time. 00:26:18 Speaker 3: Yes, And certainly no vegetables will come up that would be weird. 00:26:22 Speaker 2: We will not talk about a dark green vegetable, which is the type you need to eat. 00:26:27 Speaker 3: You need the dark green, that's what they tell you. 00:26:30 Speaker 2: So, you know, I was getting ready today, getting my drink whatever for the sweltering heat. I see you coming up the driveway. 00:26:38 Speaker 3: There comes Joe trotting along. 00:26:41 Speaker 2: Trotting is the only word we can use. Prancing would be too light. It was a trot. 00:26:45 Speaker 3: No, there was a there was a weight on my foot. 00:26:48 Speaker 2: There was a clip clop, a. 00:26:49 Speaker 3: Clopping, a trotting. Yeah, maybe even plotting, but yeah, all those would would fit given my gait, right, absolutely. 00:26:59 Speaker 2: So I was, you know, I was a little shocked the podcast is called I said no gifts. You knew that. I knew that. 00:27:08 Speaker 3: I don't know that I did. I'm here because my car broke down. That's why I was a sports Yeah, you know. I came to be a draft king with you start our royal kingdom. A draft kingdom I thought was in our future, and I thought to celebrate such an occasion. Yeah, I would. I would bring something for you. I didn't think it would be like a problem. 00:27:31 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, So this is purely ignorance. 00:27:34 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't love being called ignorant, but the. 00:27:38 Speaker 2: Word stupid if you'd like, you know, yeah, I'm not afraid to use stupid. 00:27:43 Speaker 3: I you know, I haven't heard the word ignoramus in a while. And so I actually, let's let's go with that because I would love. 00:27:50 Speaker 2: To wear that crowns Joe Kuzala, I brought a gift. You brought a gift. It's on the table. 00:27:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm I'm slide it over. You're in a spy movie. I'd be facing forward. Did you bring me doing something else? And I would just slowly with my hand while I maintain my gaze forward, I would slide it to you. 00:28:12 Speaker 2: We're on a park bench, yes, hand airing at the Capitol building, which. 00:28:16 Speaker 3: That's not conspicuous. We're taking the majesty of the capital of our nation's capital. Uh and and a trade off is made. 00:28:25 Speaker 2: It happened. Well, we're here, we're putting our feelings aside. Should I open it here on the podcast? 00:28:29 Speaker 3: You know, I came all this way. 00:28:31 Speaker 2: You did come all this way in the. 00:28:33 Speaker 3: Heat, and it's boiling. 00:28:35 Speaker 2: It's boiling. My knees are sweating. Okay, I'm opening the gift. It's sound like a little jewelry box something we're opening. It actually is jewelry, piece of jewelry, which is an actual shock. What it's a It's a gold gorgeous gold chain necklace with some uh kind of bedazzled or bejeweled praying hands. 00:29:18 Speaker 3: Hands absolutely yeah, clasping together as one is the pendant upon the gold chain. And U. You know it made me think of you. It made me think of you. 00:29:29 Speaker 2: Where did this come from? 00:29:31 Speaker 3: This? Well? You know, I was do I give a real answer or. 00:29:40 Speaker 2: Way? 00:29:41 Speaker 3: This was for a shoot? Okay, a video shoot. We need a little bit of a jewelry. 00:29:49 Speaker 2: A little flash and dash, uh huh. 00:29:51 Speaker 3: And I can't say I remember I remember how how it came into my possession, but we definitely thought it was funny. And then you know, as it will happen after a shoot, you hold on to a thing, right And I was instructed to listen, or was I instructed anyway? I wanted, personally, of my own volition, to put my gift into a box that could be revealed that was already in a box. It's ideal is I my dresser, and I thought, what a beautiful reveal to take off the little top and to reveal a Christian gift for you. 00:30:36 Speaker 2: This was sitting on your dresser. And how long ago did you make the video? 00:30:41 Speaker 3: Must have been late twenty twenty. 00:30:45 Speaker 2: And has this been on the dresser that entire time? 00:30:47 Speaker 3: It has gone from dresser to dresser. It must have, because I have a new dresser that was not around back then. So but for the most part, yeah, it's almost like it's and the dresser changed underneath it. 00:31:02 Speaker 2: This feels like something that would be thrown to the bottom of the closet. 00:31:05 Speaker 3: You see something that would be thrown to the bottom of the ocean. Well, you're revisiting this, you know your memory is on the board the Titanic. No, it's stayed on top. I don't know, listen, I don't know why, and I'm so glad it did I needed and when I needed it, it was there. 00:31:24 Speaker 2: It was the video you were making. You had an initial batch of videos that was like thirty is thirty thirty one, and then there were like twenty that I did it twenty one. 00:31:32 Speaker 3: The idea was I had turned thirty one and I was gonna make thirty one videos. Call it thirty one for thirty one, as though it's one better than thirty for thirty, which I don't think anyone ever thought. Everyone just called it thirty for thirty failure of branding, and I will take that on my back. And then we wanted to do it again, and we were like, what about twenty for twenty twenty. 00:31:51 Speaker 2: That is a good ring for it, remember the year. 00:31:54 Speaker 3: But then production was delayed and we're like, well, as long as we get it in before twenty twenty is over, hopefully nothing will happen that will prevent us with our production schedule happening in March twenty twenty, and so then we had to delay it, and then we had to rethink the brand, the branding of it, and I was like it's gonna be twenty twenty one, call it twenty one for twenty one. 00:32:20 Speaker 2: Well, for the listener, I'm going to describe this because you released all of the two series of videos on the same day, Yes, and it was like thirty videos were suddenly on the internet. Which yes, at this point, like they're like fifty makeup tutorials an hour, So it's not like that number doesn't seem that crazy. But what is interesting is they're all good or not garbage. 00:32:41 Speaker 3: It's shocking, thank you. No, I mean that was by design. That was our hope, you know, is to you know, and you and I could make thirty videos on our phones right now, but we wanted them to look like they could be on TV right you know, And so I collaborate with a guy named Daniel Clark. We we had benefited from what I would call the twenty fifteen mad rush for online comedy. There was a time when like Funny or Die. 00:33:12 Speaker 2: There was money. Yes, there was a point weirdly money for the. 00:33:16 Speaker 3: Getting a small but enough amount of money to make videos online and that was really exciting and so we did. We did that, but that well dried up and then we found ourselves like two or three years later, having made nothing because we just kept pitching to these companies that would be gone and. 00:33:35 Speaker 2: We're closing down while their offices. 00:33:37 Speaker 3: Yes, they were asking us to. 00:33:39 Speaker 2: Hold unfortunately no longer. 00:33:42 Speaker 3: Yes, oh my god, yeah all see so, Josh, I mean it was pre Quibi, but it Quibbi would have fitted. 00:33:48 Speaker 2: We fit into that, like when you were there for their two months of being open, they were like, bring us any idea, even if you don't like it, bring it. We'll pay for it. 00:33:57 Speaker 3: And I had done something in years past started out as a joke on myself that ended up benefiting me, which was that when I would be home for the holidays, I would pick one day and I would tweet three hundred times in one day. And I did it at first saying like how many people will unfollow me? Like how much of a disaster could this be? Wouldn't that be funny? But I did approach it as like each tweet was a legit joke, and I ended up gaining followers and getting some attention, and I realized that, oh I it was a stunt. And I kind of created a day long stunt that if anyone logged on Twitter and they didn't even know that I was doing it. They were going to see a joke that I tweeted just because they logged on at any. 00:34:47 Speaker 2: Point website spanning. 00:34:50 Speaker 3: The website, and I was like, how do you elevate that? And it's like, well, we haven't made any videos in a long time. We need to make up on lost time. This day long stunt will I know, will work. And then also I had had a how do I describe this meeting with a manager cursed meeting with a manager who I thought was meeting with me to sign me and basically just said, you know, make stuff. 00:35:17 Speaker 2: I've had, I've got that. I had one where she said you got to get on Snapchat. It's all bullshit, but you gotta do it. I was like, you're just telling me to create garbage. What are you talking about? No? 00:35:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I had been told by someone who I was not pleased with to just, you know, make stuff, and so there was an evil part of my brain that was like, oh, I'll make stuff. You want to see some stuff, Yeah, I'll make thirty one here come stuff. Yeah. And so all all those things kind of combined into that project, which you know, I would say, for the most part was successful. 00:35:53 Speaker 2: It did extremely success. 00:35:54 Speaker 3: It did what I wanted it to do right right. 00:35:57 Speaker 2: It's so impressive. And how long did it take to make the INDI thirty. 00:36:01 Speaker 3: Give or take a year? 00:36:02 Speaker 2: Wild? 00:36:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, do you wear jewelry? No, no jewelry. I used to wear a ring and a chain necklace when I was a kid, and a watch, not like a gaudy watch, but like just a cheap watch. I liked having accessories as a kid, maybe because it made me feel like a cartoon character or something like I wear the same thing every day. But at a certain point I I fully went the other way. It was just like, I'm not no nothing, I don't. 00:36:29 Speaker 2: Know nothing at all. I don't need that it was a chain, gold or silver, chailder thin. It's an interesting thing that you know, you don't see, like you'll have a friend and then you see them at the pool or whatever, and if they're wearing a necklace. I'm speaking about men, like usually the necklace changes. The chain is like, oh, there's a new dimension to your personality that I never even considered. 00:36:50 Speaker 3: Yeah right, no, it almost it almost feels like they should be at a card table and like a smoke in the back room of like a smoky Italian restaurant like that. It gives me that vibe of just like there's also a masculine thing about a chain. 00:37:05 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, if there's a masculine just divorced thing, yes, where it's like you're meeting people in like hotel, hot tubs or whatever. That's the feeling I always get from a chain necklace. 00:37:16 Speaker 3: Right, And I feel like I mostly see a gold chain, gold chain, sure, and sometimes you see that cross and you're. 00:37:21 Speaker 2: Like huh, and there's another dimension all right, and. 00:37:24 Speaker 3: You wonder is it just because that's what was on it or is that meaningful? Because I honestly feel like I don't know. When I was younger and the chains were out, I didn't have a cross. I think I was given a cross for my confirmation as a Catholic boy, but I never wore it. But you just see like a cross, and I would never register it as like, oh, this is Christian propaganda. 00:37:49 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's kind of now transcends in a way where it's more of just like it can be a kind of Gothic symbol or something. 00:37:56 Speaker 3: You don't know, But I think now if I saw it, I would be like interesting, Also, I feel like the chains are under their shirt. 00:38:05 Speaker 2: Now, Oh yeah, and that's why the pool the surprise. Yeah, that's why you've got to get all of your friends in the pool. You've got to invite them, push them to do it, because. 00:38:13 Speaker 3: You don't know what they're hiding. You don't know what's going on underneath the shirt. And that's you got to. 00:38:18 Speaker 2: See anytime you see your friends any place. Suggest why don't we hop in the pools, go to the pool. 00:38:24 Speaker 3: Let's go to the public pool. 00:38:25 Speaker 2: Why don't we ever go to the pool together? I don't, I mean, sure, let's ditch this restaurant. We don't need to watch the rest of this movie. 00:38:34 Speaker 3: Not hungry anymore? Throw your fork down. 00:38:40 Speaker 2: What was the ring you were wearing as a kid? 00:38:42 Speaker 3: I would wear and I usually be like the type of ring you would get on vacation, if that makes sense, sure, right, And it would just be like a non descript like it wouldn't be God, I don't know exactly what material. Maybe it's like ceramic almost it's rsic, like a glossy ceramic kind of thing, because it wouldn't be like metallic. It would but it wouldn't be like rubbery I don't know. I just remember having not quite a mood ring, but not far from it. 00:39:12 Speaker 2: Interesting. 00:39:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember having that, and I remember fiddling with it once and it fell on the. 00:39:19 Speaker 2: Ground and chatter, it chattered. Yeah, that doesn't seem like the material that a ring should. Yeah, I mean that's the ring of a prince who never moves, you know exactly. 00:39:28 Speaker 3: It doesn't work delicate, it's delicate, and I did not treat it with with the delicacy that it needed. 00:39:32 Speaker 2: A shame. 00:39:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, age were you wearing the sand around ten? 00:39:38 Speaker 2: Ten to twelve? Feels like you're experimenting with looks? 00:39:41 Speaker 3: Who am I? Yeah? What is my identity? 00:39:43 Speaker 2: Will I become? 00:39:43 Speaker 3: Am I? 00:39:44 Speaker 2: A fedoraser is usually no, it's never. 00:39:48 Speaker 3: Well not not at bad age, definitely not. 00:39:52 Speaker 2: That's a real bad age to be in a fedora that I actually think that's probably the worst age of all because you're. 00:39:57 Speaker 3: Not tall enough. I think it's part of it. Right, A fedora looks best on someone who is tall and wearing like a trench coat. Right, and it's black and white and. 00:40:06 Speaker 2: It's nineteen forty five exactly, someone's meeting with a day. 00:40:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a fem fatale who is in the picture. But yeah, no someone who is a tween wearing a fedora and you know a vest like that, there's no way a vest isn't a part of the ensemble. And yeah, and thinking of the era, I guess it could happen now. But in my opinion, it comes with. 00:40:32 Speaker 5: Very thin glasses like rectangles like like like they're as as big as a large large lego there in the same dimensions. 00:40:44 Speaker 2: And they are that felt like well. As a society from about two thousand and five to two thousand and eight, we kind of went through that as people thought that looked good on their face. 00:40:53 Speaker 3: I had a pair. 00:40:54 Speaker 2: I had a pair, and it makes you look scary. It looks strange, just unsettling. 00:41:01 Speaker 3: I a few years ago I had lost a pair of I had lost two pairs of glasses in a row, and so my backup pair were those like from two cycles of fashion ago. And it was really funny like and it makes those things, it makes you wonder, like what was I thinking, like barely covering your eye. 00:41:29 Speaker 2: Yes, it looks like you're in charge of the computers at a college library or something. It's not a good look. No, but you should hold on to them, because they will come back. You know, we tried somebody, a few people were trying to bring back the tiny sunglasses and I think they might still And I really resisted that. Yeah, like the circles like the Matrixy. Yeah, the circles or the matrix that are like small. 00:41:53 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, well, because I mean I'm excited to see if Oakley's will come back. 00:41:59 Speaker 2: I think that. I mean we're I think they are Insurence. Yes, I feel like Oakley is coming back by Oakley. 00:42:05 Speaker 3: Oakley is Oh. I think I said buy like b Y like afleet in the Charge, but you meant by Oakley, like, let's put our investments in Oakley because. 00:42:14 Speaker 2: You've got to invest in Oakley because you simply must. 00:42:17 Speaker 3: I'm curious if the resurgence will be a new brand. 00:42:21 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, like inspired by Oakley. 00:42:25 Speaker 3: Or if Oakley's just like we've lost our cultural capital. There's no going back. We need a new name for a new generation, no baggage, and we can we can bring this style as though they can't change the style of They're just like that's what it has to be. 00:42:41 Speaker 2: Just have to wrap around your head. No, They're they're coming back. Oakley is not going to change their name. Cool people are I think people much cooler than us are probably already wearing Oakleys. 00:42:54 Speaker 3: And too young to to know the bag. 00:42:56 Speaker 2: Right. These teens I'm never seeing. They're in there on the roller blades doing whatever they want. Unfortunately, that era is screaming back at us. We've got and it's just. 00:43:11 Speaker 3: Like for me for the tips be frosted. 00:43:13 Speaker 2: Oh. I thought only was about to say, oh, Oakley's are back. I was like, oh, so it's a fact on the internet. Okay, I apologize to every. 00:43:22 Speaker 3: I have a report. Oakley's not only our back, but they have they have purchased Amazon. Amazon is now Oakley, and I. 00:43:34 Speaker 2: Don't streaming on Oakley's free v. 00:43:39 Speaker 3: I mean there's an idea, put the put the content right in the sunglasses. There we go, put them on, wrap them around. 00:43:47 Speaker 2: I mean we're headed there again. I feel like we're putting technology back in glasses, which I thought the lesson was learned that well, there was Google glass. 00:43:55 Speaker 3: Google glass was yeah the big flop right the immediate someone recently was like, uh, we're doing it, and everyone's like that is Google glass, you fool, But they were like no, no, no, this time it'll work. It's different. 00:44:09 Speaker 2: I think Facebook may have tried. 00:44:10 Speaker 3: I think it's meta. Yeah. 00:44:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, because they have released thousands of electronics that no one's ever heard of and just let them die. 00:44:16 Speaker 3: On the market, you know, like because they can afford to do that. 00:44:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, Like a total of three people will own them, and they're all like family members of the company. 00:44:24 Speaker 3: Right, and they're probably very expensive. 00:44:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, And what is the hope for those is. 00:44:31 Speaker 3: That one will buy random chance hit and then it will start a new revolution itself. 00:44:38 Speaker 2: It's like, so I can always be looking at the Internet. 00:44:43 Speaker 3: I wonder if there is a terminator aspect to it in the sense of, like there's a bridger. 00:44:49 Speaker 2: Body temperature, Yeah, weaknesses. 00:44:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I can destroy you, you know. But yeah, I guess if some is watching TV in your home and you're in the room and you don't want to leave the room, you can just sit back, jaw open, turn a screw on your glasses, and then you get to watch the thing you wanted to watch without the burden of having to go somewhere else or talk to another person about some sort of compromise, yeah. 00:45:18 Speaker 2: Or engage in some shape activity. 00:45:20 Speaker 3: And I think, yes, exactly. I think that's what the with the new generation and our generation kind of ones is demanding. It is just getting to have what you want without having to, uh have any conversation or contact with anybody. 00:45:37 Speaker 2: Else, no compromising. 00:45:39 Speaker 3: It's Postmates for your eyes face, Postmates for for TV in the sense of I just I'm gonna stop describing it because I don't. 00:45:50 Speaker 2: Like you're getting onto a really good idea. 00:45:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I don't want to give it away. I don't want to give it away. 00:45:56 Speaker 2: People are listening for new tech ideas on this podcast. 00:45:59 Speaker 3: Well that's how you started this conversation, is that's what's new in tech, and I blew it. I tried to act like I didn't know, but. 00:46:06 Speaker 2: I knew that we'll come back and we got the info, we got the scoop. Welcome to Gizmoto. 00:46:12 Speaker 3: Ah, that's video games something. 00:46:16 Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got the tech. Websites I've famously at this point have no websites to go to anymore. I'm begging for new websites to go to. I think they're all shot. 00:46:26 Speaker 3: What are you looking for in a website? 00:46:27 Speaker 2: Just a comfort, like you know, new things but like that aren't too stressful. 00:46:34 Speaker 3: You want like a feed of like news and like maybe an interview, like is that. 00:46:39 Speaker 2: I want it to be written by people. Okay, great, I want it to be I don't want a headline that says this happened because of course it did, or because Internet we had every website still in the year twenty twenty three is using that sort of headline, and that sends me into a day long rage. 00:46:56 Speaker 3: There's a there's a funny character and insidious, the red Door who said the interwebs and I could not I could not believe it. I was I almost like clutched my chest. 00:47:08 Speaker 2: That in two thousand and seven. 00:47:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, I mean I really it's it's it makes you really think about your life now and what people know, and what the things that you took for. 00:47:22 Speaker 2: Great, what in what context I want to I want you to have to say the sentence allowed if you can remember remotely what the character says. 00:47:29 Speaker 3: So, I mean, this character is the is a new character of the franchise, I imagine because it's one of the main characters is going to college and this is their new roommate. Okay, and this character is Quippi and saying things has has a you know, as an attitude and saying that they're going to do all sorts of goofy stuff and like kind of has a little bit of Internet speak in the vernacular, and just at one point says like, yeah, okay, bro, I'll look it up on the interwebsh like something like something like that. 00:48:04 Speaker 2: You know I'm leaving the theater. 00:48:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I get a sick pleasure out of it, Like I will clutch my girlfriend's arm and look at her and go, wow, shocking, because when something like that happens, it's it's it is shocking in a way that I almost derive a sick pleasure from right, because. 00:48:23 Speaker 2: You think of the amount of hoops that were jumped through to get to the screen. Enough adults looked at that word and said, if we're going with this one. 00:48:31 Speaker 3: And you just you don't think it's possible anymore, you know, you got you gotta believe in the impossible. And that's a character in Insidious the Red Door saying interwebs, and it inspired me. Yeah, the interwebs. I think we should play a game. Oh my goodness, I love games. 00:48:46 Speaker 2: We're gonna play Gonnaly's. I think it's gift master this time. I'm trying to be better about doing every other game, and I fail constantly, but we're gonna try. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:48:57 Speaker 3: Excellent, I'm gonna say nine. 00:48:59 Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating right now. 00:49:02 Speaker 3: You can go too high. 00:49:04 Speaker 2: No, nine is great? Okay, great, I said one and ten. 00:49:07 Speaker 3: You did. 00:49:08 Speaker 2: You didn't say one. That's too low. That doesn't work. Sure it might work. I don't know how this anything works. 00:49:14 Speaker 3: And I would also guess, and I listen. Am I trying to be contrariant? I bet a lot of people would say seven. 00:49:19 Speaker 2: A reader just or a reader a listener just wrote in and said that they had noticed eight is like the most popular number. Interesting, And I didn't look into it. I just trust the listener inherently and take their word for it. Send me whatever you want, I will believe it. But apparently eight, seven, I do think is probably a close section. 00:49:38 Speaker 3: Seven. I think is let's rank the numbers one through ten. 00:49:43 Speaker 2: Good. I'm willing to do that. 00:49:44 Speaker 3: One is eight two seven, But I think that is also like a magician trick of like you asked someone one through ten. Odds are people go for seven more often than not. 00:49:57 Speaker 2: Thinking about humanity and how people think. 00:50:00 Speaker 3: Always trying to know the magician's secrets. Take that mic off. 00:50:03 Speaker 2: I've never been trapped by a musician or a magician. 00:50:06 Speaker 3: I'm either musician or a magician. 00:50:09 Speaker 2: I'm starting to say things wrong because I am so unbelievably hot. 00:50:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's warm out here. 00:50:15 Speaker 2: I am fading so quickly. Okay, we're going to nine and we're gonna play the game. The number is nine. I have to do some light calculating. So right now you can recommend something, promote something. Oh great, you've got the mic. 00:50:25 Speaker 3: I'll be right back, excellent sou. I have a album of sketches and funny songs coming out that is going to be called Funny Songs and Sketches. I think when this is released, it will not be out yet, but if you want to know when that comes out, you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok joe Quah Joey Kwa, or on Twitter Jok jok, and you will know when that comes out. You can also check out on YouTube my special, which is in the process of being renamed because I guess somebody else had the name I had for my special. I think we are going to be calling it recommended based on your search history, so that might be difficult to search in YouTube. But if you search my name Joe Quasala KWA c z A LA, and then Helium because it's out on the Helium Comedy Studios YouTube page, you will find my full special, whatever it's being called. When this is released, and you can check that out. I'm very proud of it. It's about thirty minutes of stand up and I'm wearing a corriduroy jacket. And if that's not enough to sell you, I don't know what else you freaks want. 00:51:32 Speaker 2: Beautiful, thank you for this. I could barely hear. I was focusing on my calculating. But you can trust Joe. You can trust Joe. Go find it. You know how to use the internet. 00:51:44 Speaker 3: And also the aforementioned videos are will be on those places that I mentioned. 00:51:48 Speaker 2: Yes, of course, I'm trying to think of there's anything I can recommend. I have nothing to recommend right now. 00:51:54 Speaker 3: Support our SAG and WGA. 00:51:58 Speaker 2: Go out and do that, and anyone's at on the picket line. 00:52:00 Speaker 3: I don't know if people know that. 00:52:01 Speaker 2: Right anybody can show up, get a sign all are welcome and walk around and meet some nice people, have a good time. 00:52:09 Speaker 3: See some see some stars don't get in their grill. But like for really you want to make. 00:52:14 Speaker 2: A spy and make weird eye contact? 00:52:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, see somebody and then you can tell your friends later. You can make that a game. I love. I love a celebrity siting guessing game. 00:52:22 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, the last celebrity. Wait, how does the guessing game work? 00:52:26 Speaker 3: It's uh, I saw somebody and then you do yes or no questions. You know, do you just saw somebody recently? Do you want to do it? 00:52:32 Speaker 2: It? 00:52:32 Speaker 3: Will that take up too much time? 00:52:33 Speaker 2: It's not gonna take up too much time? Should we play it? We're gonna play it after this game. Let's circle back to the game, because well, I won't even say anything about celebrity. This is how we're gonna play this game, which also involves celebrities. This is a celebrity culture podcast. Why why weren't we talking about celebrities the whole time I came. 00:52:51 Speaker 6: I mean we've talked about John Carrolyn'll be talking about crimes. Actually, it is a celebrity podcast. Uh, this is how we play gift Master. There are I'm gonna name threeelebrities. Great, I'm gonna name three gifts, three things you can give away, and you're gonna tell me which celebrity you would give. 00:53:05 Speaker 2: Which gift and why. 00:53:06 Speaker 3: Excellent? 00:53:07 Speaker 2: That makes perfect sad, absolutely Okay, So these are the gifts. This first one is from a listener named William who suggested a sexless marriage. So that's a gift. Okay, I'll be giving away. 00:53:18 Speaker 3: Can I ask a follow up? 00:53:19 Speaker 2: Of course? 00:53:20 Speaker 3: Is it they have to have a sexless marriage or is it a sexless marriage with me? 00:53:26 Speaker 2: It's up to you. 00:53:27 Speaker 3: Okay. Interesting, I'm just. 00:53:28 Speaker 2: Giving you those three words that William rode in and submitted, giving. 00:53:33 Speaker 3: You the gift of a sexless marriage with me, enjoy. 00:53:38 Speaker 2: Number two is a chance encounter with an old friend. Okay, that's a nice gift. Number three is an induction range. Do you know what that is? No, that's kind of a you know, a lot of stovetops are gas powered, some are electric. I think this is kind of the future of a stovetop that's like one of those ones that's flat and you turn it on, it's just hot somehow. 00:53:58 Speaker 3: Okay, I may be. 00:54:00 Speaker 2: I don't work in the appliance industry. It's just on the dock. 00:54:03 Speaker 3: We got it. 00:54:04 Speaker 2: The doc is mysterious. You will be giving it to these these celebrities. Number one Angelica Houston, we love. Number two James Corden. Okay, wow, yeah, I don't have anything to say there, neither. Number three Orlando Bloom. 00:54:18 Speaker 3: Oh okay, all right. First, first things first, nothing against Orlando Bloom. I would guess. I mean, this is a guy who almost immediately went from being not famous to being in two gigantic franchises, Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. At this pretty much same time, he was swashbuckling. He was, he was Elf and out. I believe he was in Elf. He wasn't in Lord of the Rings and he was. Yeah, he was buckling, some swash guy, yea in Pirates. But you know, a part of it. So what I mean to say is also extremely pretty. 00:54:55 Speaker 2: Man, maybe too pretty for this world, and extremely famous. 00:54:59 Speaker 3: Sudden. Yes, I would guess Orlando Bloom had more sex than anyone will ever need in several lifetimes. 00:55:07 Speaker 2: I hope he did. 00:55:08 Speaker 3: I hope so too. 00:55:08 Speaker 2: That was his moment, and I would guess, I would guess absolutely. 00:55:12 Speaker 3: So, I think we can give a sexless marriage to Orlando Bloom because I don't think it will hurt him, and maybe that's what he wants. He's to quote Rivers Cuomo, tired. 00:55:22 Speaker 2: Of having sex. 00:55:23 Speaker 3: Yes, so let Orlando not Bloom but rather keep it in. 00:55:32 Speaker 2: Shrivel on the bar. 00:55:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, thank you. 00:55:35 Speaker 2: That's exactly. 00:55:37 Speaker 3: But yeah, Orlando Bloom gets a sexless marriage. Now we've got Angelica Houston and James Cordon, and we are giving away a close uh, an encounter with an old friend and an induction rain. 00:55:49 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:55:51 Speaker 3: Angelica Houston has lived a very interesting life. Her father John Houston, very famously with Royalty. Yeah, director, you know she has. She was with Jack Nicholson for a time. 00:56:04 Speaker 2: She was the Grand Witch and the Witches Witches. 00:56:06 Speaker 3: And then you know, she kind of having a great film career Preasy's Honor. She won the Academy Award and then many other films. She also then fell into like the Wes Anderson world and did great work in those films. 00:56:19 Speaker 2: All Presence has had. 00:56:21 Speaker 3: A long life, has met probably a lot of people. Wouldn't it be nice someone from maybe early in her career or even before she was I mean, she was probably acting pretty young, given the family she was born into. But just somebody from a long time ago that she it just it takes her to a place, a simpler time maybe, and a nice time in her life. I want Angelica Houston to have that encounter with an old friend. 00:56:48 Speaker 2: Has anybody ever called her ange? Do you think I don't know that that fits for Angelica, Angie? I bet you think, yeah, a bit, Angie. I can't imagine calling her anything against you. Yeah, I don't. I don't see her anything about Angelic. 00:57:05 Speaker 3: All right, Hey, Angie, that's Jack Nicholson. I can see him doing that. 00:57:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess Jack. 00:57:13 Speaker 3: Hey, Angie, babe, come on over here. Can't It's a way more disturbing. 00:57:18 Speaker 2: He called her mine? Oh called her mind? Jack? 00:57:23 Speaker 3: Jack? 00:57:23 Speaker 2: She's mine, She's no name but. 00:57:28 Speaker 3: Mine, oh mine. I never I do this because I know it's a bad impression. I want the listener to know that I don't think of that, that it's good. And then yeah, James Gordon gets the induction range. No further comment. 00:57:42 Speaker 2: Does he have an old friend? That's the big question? 00:57:45 Speaker 3: No comment? 00:57:45 Speaker 2: Friend, what does he exist as at this point in time? 00:57:50 Speaker 3: Who knows? We wish him well? 00:57:52 Speaker 2: You wish him nothing but the best, good luck, new chapter, second chapter, and with his induction range. That's a great thing to give to somebody that you just don't want to say anything to or about. 00:58:03 Speaker 3: I hope you enjoy this. Yes, everybody I've been hearing. I heard it's the future of the stove stove tops. Someone told me that, and you know I thought of you immediately. 00:58:14 Speaker 2: It's a tech podcast, it's a celebrity podcast. We do a little bit of everything for the listener. We've got to play your game now. 00:58:20 Speaker 3: Oh yes, so you saw a celebrity. 00:58:22 Speaker 2: Okay, how many questions do you get to ask? 00:58:24 Speaker 3: I mean, I guess Traditionally it's it's twenty but please no release, but you know you can get there rather rather quick mail. Yes. Actor, yes, white, Yes, older than fifty. 00:58:43 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:58:45 Speaker 3: Known for movies. 00:58:49 Speaker 2: Not mostly okay in movies. 00:58:53 Speaker 3: Mostly known for television. 00:58:55 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:58:56 Speaker 3: Is there one show in particular that this actor is most known for him? 00:59:00 Speaker 2: Yes? 00:59:01 Speaker 3: Was it a sitcom? 00:59:02 Speaker 2: No? 00:59:03 Speaker 3: It was a drama? Yes? Was this drama on? 00:59:07 Speaker 2: Uh? 00:59:08 Speaker 3: Was it on network? No? Cable? Yes? HBO? 00:59:12 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I love that narrowing down here. 00:59:15 Speaker 3: Uh Sobrano's No, was it on in the two thousands, like from two thousand and two thousand and nine Okay succession? Yes? Was it Alan Ruck? 00:59:24 Speaker 2: No? 00:59:25 Speaker 3: Was it someone from Okay? So? Was it Brian Cox? 00:59:28 Speaker 2: Yes? 00:59:29 Speaker 3: Wow? 00:59:31 Speaker 2: I mean there were some questions there where I the answers were more complicated than a ye, binary of course, right, because like he's known for this show I think most recently has. 00:59:41 Speaker 3: Become very and I mean and now most famous for being the voice McDonald's. 00:59:45 Speaker 2: Is that true? 00:59:46 Speaker 3: Yes? And they are weird commercials because he is like just doing it as Brian Cox and he's just and he at the end he does go bought. 00:59:55 Speaker 2: What what is he saying about McDonald's the. 00:59:57 Speaker 3: New French fries od? You know what happened? 01:00:01 Speaker 2: Like? Who was it that? 01:00:02 Speaker 3: Just reading copy? I bet it's incredible money. It has to be if it makes his. 01:00:08 Speaker 2: Unless he has like a really terrible manager. It's like, Brian, you just take take what you can get. Your career has never been worse MacDonald's. 01:00:15 Speaker 3: Sure. What was the context of seeing Brian Cox. 01:00:17 Speaker 2: I saw Brian Cox at the Chateau Marmont, and I was explained why I was there because I do not want to be there. 01:00:23 Speaker 3: I'm curious I'm very curious. 01:00:26 Speaker 2: Friend is a huge fan of Housewives of Beverly Hills. It was her birthday. She thought this would be kind of the theme of the birthday. We're all sitting there. He comes in, of course, literally everyone notices him immediately, seemed to be alone. Okay, it was a very logan roy energy. 01:00:43 Speaker 3: Yeah. Interesting, you know, I hope that he is a different man, but that's gotta be somewhere close to the vest. 01:00:50 Speaker 2: Sure, sure, but yeah, that's who I saw, Brian. I wonder if the listener got there before you. That's the big question. 01:00:56 Speaker 3: I want to say. I went at a decent clip. Yeah, that was very I mean, I didn't want to waste the time of the listener. The time the listener's time, is you respect most important to me? 01:01:04 Speaker 2: Well, you came here respecting my listeners, and we love it. This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no Emails. People write in I said no gifts at gmail dot com. They've got questions galore. They're just wondering. They're trying to live their lives and trying to do it the best they can. And so when they write in, I get them back on track. Will you help me answer a question. 01:01:26 Speaker 3: I gotta go. No, of course, of course it will. 01:01:31 Speaker 2: I actually would really support that right now, and I just sit here quietly and I answer the question. 01:01:36 Speaker 3: I'm going away. 01:01:38 Speaker 2: Okay, this says dearest Bridger and shameful yet since here guest. Okay, So that's complicated and we're going to deal with it. My mother's husband is the most uninteresting man in the world. His only interest is in probiotics and other health topics. That's it, really nothing else. Please do not ask, because I do not know. This man has no hobbies or other interests. And my wonderful, though oblivious at times mother is always pushing me and my siblings to get this guy thoughtful gifts for Christmas and his birthday. He is the most impossible person to buy gifts for. Any idea on what to get this poor guy. Uh that's from Danielle. Okay, so my mother's husband. I hope that it is her dad, and that's just how she refers to the dead. But we assume this is just some guy. 01:02:23 Speaker 3: Yes, this is yeah, some guy a step dad. 01:02:27 Speaker 2: Steps and has not done enough work to be called a step dad. Sure, he's just boring everybody to the point that he's mom's husband. Doesn't even have a name, right, Yeah, old cold, very cold email. This person does not like mother's husband. 01:02:43 Speaker 3: All right, I have I have some ideas. Oh interesting, let's hear first thought, it is expensive. If you can find an off brand, it's not too bad. I feel like anyone can use it. Rumba. 01:02:54 Speaker 2: Oh and there are a lot of off brand ones at this point. 01:02:58 Speaker 3: Is the one I think that that we have in our our home and you can find him on sale. That one occurred to me because everyone needs to clean their home, right and I'm thinking, Okay, we don't know what this guy is about. He's maybe not into the process of cleaning. But with a rumba, you're just pressing a button. And even if there is like a brief novel moment when you get it and it's like look at this thing, go and then they never use it again, at least you have that. 01:03:25 Speaker 2: They had that little spark of joy in their life. Yeah, that seems like a decent gift. Has anybody ever given a dust pan that feels like in the same category if you're on a real budget, yes, right, just. 01:03:37 Speaker 3: A just a broom and a dustpan get to work Cinderella kind of thing. 01:03:45 Speaker 2: Mother's Husband is an interesting like stepdad version of Cinderella where the mother's husband is locked away and all of the evil step children hate him and he just wants to get to the. 01:03:54 Speaker 3: Ball so he can yeah, find animals to skin a rest and make his. 01:04:02 Speaker 2: Yeah skin alive. What are you talking? I mean, I thought, is that part of the Cinderella store. 01:04:07 Speaker 3: I was taking it to a new place that involved this guy who we hate. We hate this guy, we hate this guy. I was also starting to seemingly fold in one hundred one Dalmatians. All the Disney villains can kind of come together. But one thing I would say not to get is don't go. Don't go the route of the one interest you have, the probiotic whatever, because in my opinion, you get something, they will immediately be like, no, that's not what I the ex mic Yeah exactly right. Like I don't know if there's anything you enjoy, but like if somebody tries to like for example, and God bless him. But like before I moved to La, one of my mom's friends got me like a book about comedy, right, like how to how to write comedy? 01:04:50 Speaker 2: That's a hard gift to get. 01:04:51 Speaker 3: And it was like, like, I see that you know that I do comedy and have been doing comedy in Chicago for a number of years, and you understand that that is my discipline. But like getting close is maybe worse way than going off subject entirely. 01:05:10 Speaker 2: Because now you have an object you do not want or need, and it kind of reveals that they don't know that much about you. 01:05:17 Speaker 3: Yep, And I also cannot No one can know I have that book is still embarrassing. I want to say, it's on the bookshelf in my old room at my parents' house. That could ruin you if anyone finds out. 01:05:30 Speaker 2: If anybody hears about this, you will be destroyed. 01:05:34 Speaker 3: Joke boo, trick joke. Book. Judy Carter's been ghostwriting his whole set. 01:05:40 Speaker 2: Of course, he was able to make thirty videos. Look at the book. It's all in there. You're currently in litigation with this one. 01:05:48 Speaker 3: Yeah she is, uh, yeah, she's a litigious one, but you know she's She's right, I. 01:05:54 Speaker 2: Stole it all. Probiotics is a tricky stay away from that. Nobody knows about probiotics. 01:06:00 Speaker 3: No except for this guy, which is why you don't want to test that pre biotics. 01:06:04 Speaker 2: I just learned about pre biotics. 01:06:06 Speaker 3: It seems fake. 01:06:07 Speaker 2: It was on a soda can, so it definitely felt fake, and I was like, this isn't doing anything for my body. Tasted like a good, great flavor, though, which I miss. 01:06:16 Speaker 3: So you bought it knowing and wanting it to be prebiotic or just was it incidental? 01:06:22 Speaker 2: It had a good looking can, okay, And a friend said, let me buy you a drink because we're at the grocery store. Jordan, Melissa, two friends. They said, let us buy your drink, and I thought, there's no steaks here, Whole Foods. No. This was in Utah at Smith's Marketplace, which is kind of Utah's Ralph's. Okay, got it, if that makes any sense. Uh Kroger Family brand. But this soda was one of those really nice looking cans that they're doing now that they bring you in with their great graphic design. It was a good, great flavor. 01:06:50 Speaker 3: I follow a great TikTok account where a guy will, at the request of the commenter's rebrand junk food and like soda and stuff. Oh he like does it for a living, so he's just it'll just be like Coca cola. And he'd be like, all right, that's great, Okay, so what we want to do buzzwords that mean nothing, that you can put on a can all natural, real flavor. Real flavor doesn't mean anything. You can just put it on there. And let's say gluten free, fat free, because that's true as to put that on there, non GM like just all these words that he knows from having done this, Like yeah, they do this all the time. They put or like you know, peanut M and ms and just be like a great source of protein. It's like it has protein. So you can say that legally, you can just kind of do whatever you want. And it's made me feel like a fool because I've definitely looked at stuff and been like natural gatorade or whatever. 01:07:37 Speaker 2: I fall for that all the time. There's a restaurant opening over here, and I won't say the name of the restaurant. We don't want to shame him too much. But it says free style tacos meaningless that no, there was no one can conceive what that would ever mean. That the word free style. No one even even like with whatever it's associated with. You're like, I don't like snowboarding. Freestyle snowboarding, you get to. 01:08:00 Speaker 3: Certainly do your things, Certainly you have the ingredients prepared. Yeah, otherwise it's it would not be a true freestyle free the only freestyle you you would have to be like you'd have to have some sort of grill set up in the middle of a grocery store and just be like grabbing stuff off the shelves, not even like thinking about it, and just like and and it can't be a preordained. 01:08:23 Speaker 2: Thing like a taco No, no, no, you. 01:08:25 Speaker 3: Do freestyle food and just be like I'm thinking as I'm going, and I'm oh, this is no, I've made a olmlet. 01:08:30 Speaker 2: It should begin nowhere. Yes, it should be come from a void. And then there's the freestyle coke machine. 01:08:36 Speaker 3: Yes, which is uh, I'm not a soda guy, so that's. 01:08:40 Speaker 2: Uh, it's off limits for you. 01:08:41 Speaker 3: Water water, fill up the bottle I brought. 01:08:45 Speaker 2: And then you get a water that tastes like every soda on. 01:08:47 Speaker 3: The planet, Raspberry diet Raspberry. 01:08:53 Speaker 2: I feel like we answered that question so well. Roomba or dustpan. This guy's gonna be screaming. Mother's husband is screaming. Danielle, thank you for riding in and don't mention it. 01:09:10 Speaker 3: And you know if you need protection from your mother's husband, right back with a coded message that just says thanks for the hot tip, and then two exclamation points, and then we will know to send. 01:09:27 Speaker 2: If it's three, it means the gift went, well. 01:09:29 Speaker 3: It's actually you're actually thanking us for the hot tip. But if it's two exclamation points, message is heard loud and clear. We're coming, We are coming, and we will help you. 01:09:37 Speaker 2: I'll not let him skin the animals. Joe, I've got my gorgeous necklace. 01:09:44 Speaker 3: And you know, I feel like it's finally in the right place. It's finally the plures on my dresser just an orphan really and now in your loving bosom. 01:09:55 Speaker 2: I'm going to reveal this at a pool somewhere. 01:09:57 Speaker 3: Please do that for real. 01:09:59 Speaker 2: So many friends, just like, what on earth are you to answer any questions? What do you mean? 01:10:03 Speaker 3: I always wear this? 01:10:04 Speaker 2: Yes, become very angry and upset short answers that kind of thing. 01:10:08 Speaker 3: What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't I always wear this. You've seen this, you see me wear this one hundred times. I want but I bought this. 01:10:20 Speaker 2: Uh no, I'm thrilled to have it. I've had such a good time. 01:10:22 Speaker 3: With you, Lovely, I'm so glad to have done it. 01:10:25 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just covered in sweat. 01:10:28 Speaker 3: We're dewey. 01:10:29 Speaker 2: I'm dewey beyond dewey, listener, You're hopefully dry is a whatever? You can be dry as I'm not going. I don't even need to think about it. 01:10:38 Speaker 3: You were just in Utah. 01:10:39 Speaker 2: It was just in Utah, dry as a bone. That's a dry state. 01:10:43 Speaker 3: Is it truly a dry state? 01:10:45 Speaker 2: Oh? Very dry desert? 01:10:46 Speaker 3: But like alcohol dry? 01:10:48 Speaker 2: Oh that I mean. We could devote another six hours of this podcast of the way people have to drink in Utah, right, and the complicated system. 01:10:58 Speaker 3: But if you're gonna pick two places that are dry in both senses of the words, you got Utah, I think Utah. There is no other state, no other state. Listener, the podcast is over. I want you to go do something else, find something to do with yourself. We'll be back at another point, probably next week. That's how the podcast works. I love you, goodbye, I said No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Nilson. And it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said, no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:11:52 Speaker 2: Lievt? 01:11:52 Speaker 1: Did you hear? Thuna Man myself perfectly clear? 01:12:00 Speaker 2: But you're a guess to my home. 01:12:04 Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty And I said, no, guests, your own presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me