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Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Welcome back to my podcast channel. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for being here. If you haven't subscribed already,

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Speaker 1: make sure you do so that you never miss an episode. Now,

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you what moment changed you the

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Speaker 1: most this year? Where in your life did you grow

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Speaker 1: the most this year? Even if it didn't look like

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Speaker 1: growth at the time. What if the toughest moment of

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Speaker 1: your year was actually the moment preparing you for what's next.

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Speaker 1: The end of the year is always a time for reflection,

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Speaker 1: a time to look back at our journeys, our lessons,

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Speaker 1: and the growth we've experienced. Some moments challenged us, some

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Speaker 1: inspire us, and some remind us of the power of presence, courage,

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Speaker 1: and connection. In this special compilation, we revisit some of

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Speaker 1: the year's most powerful conversations on on purpose, deeply personal

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Speaker 1: stories from guests whose honesty, insight, and lived experiences offer

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Speaker 1: invaluable guidance as we move into twenty twenty six. The

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Speaker 1: perspective shared here are more than stories, their practical roadmaps

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Speaker 1: for how to grow, reset, and move intentionally into the

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Speaker 1: head Let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: The number one health and wellness.

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Speaker 1: Podcast, Jay Sheety Jay Shetty s Selena and Bennie take

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Speaker 1: us into the heart of their love story, sharing how vulnerability, patience,

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Speaker 1: and humor have shaped their relationship. What started as a

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Speaker 1: friendship between two young artists blossomed into love, reminding us

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Speaker 1: that connection grows through presence, laughter, and small acts of care.

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Speaker 1: I was saying that watching both your love story, and

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Speaker 1: I know you were saying Selena two seconds ago, you like,

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Speaker 1: this is such a safe and cozy space to come to.

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that today we get to know your love

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Speaker 1: story on a deeper level and we get to access

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Speaker 1: really what's in your hearts and minds, because I think

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Speaker 1: there's so many interviews and so many things that kind

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Speaker 1: of will touch on the surface level of stuff, but

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Speaker 1: I hope we can go deeper. So what I want

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Speaker 1: to stay with this, I want to actually rewind, and

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Speaker 1: I want to rewind to a place where we don't

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Speaker 1: retell the story, but we get to relive your story

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Speaker 1: with you. And I think there's a difference because when

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Speaker 1: we tell a story, it's like this is what happened,

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Speaker 1: but when we relive it, it's almost like going back to

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Speaker 1: who we were when that happens. So I want to

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Speaker 1: go back to the first time you ever met. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to hear about it.

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Speaker 3: Well, the funny thing is is we actually it was

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Speaker 3: so long ago that we don't.

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Speaker 4: Remind we know that her mother put us in a

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Speaker 4: meeting together.

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Speaker 2: When how old were you? Sixt So she was sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't realize it was that.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like four or five years older than you.

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Speaker 4: So I was probably twenty twenty one. And her mom

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Speaker 4: was trying together into music. And her mom is amazing

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Speaker 4: the way she goes from room to room, gets on

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Speaker 4: the show, yeah, gets things to happen, and you know,

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Speaker 4: and somehow she got us a meeting together, and we

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Speaker 4: don't remember that. And you know, after we had done

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Speaker 4: songs together, there was one time where it was probably

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Speaker 4: two thousand and sixteen or seventeen or something. I remember

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Speaker 4: when you were in a studio like Interscope Suason, and

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Speaker 4: I remember I came in. She doesn't remember it, but

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Speaker 4: I remember I came in and I had this talk

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Speaker 4: with you, and I remember being like whoa, wow, Like

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Speaker 4: she is really like a complex person, like in a

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Speaker 4: good way, and I was like, wow, she's she's so deep.

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Speaker 4: And we had this conversation where I really I was

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Speaker 4: just really left by being like, oh, she's deep. And

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Speaker 4: then we went and thought nothing more of it. And

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Speaker 4: then when we did our song together, I remember leaving

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Speaker 4: not feeling romantic at all. I just remember leaving and

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Speaker 4: I was talking. You know, because when you're a pop

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Speaker 4: star like she is, and you're a huge entity and

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Speaker 4: you've done so many things in your life before, like

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Speaker 4: people set up all these walls before, so it's like

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Speaker 4: you get like like before I came in, they were like, well,

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Speaker 4: you know, this thing's like this, and this is like this,

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Speaker 4: and like she might not want to do that, and

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Speaker 4: like stuff, and they speak for people so much. And

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Speaker 4: then I remember we were so me and the director

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Speaker 4: were so nervous, and then the first second you like

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Speaker 4: disarmed everybody. And I remember walking back and Jake was like,

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Speaker 4: he's like the guy who directing with me. He's like,

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Speaker 4: it's gonna be so easy. What they made it seem

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Speaker 4: like she was this was gonna be this crazy thing,

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Speaker 4: and the warmth I felt from her in that moment.

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Speaker 4: I remember leaving being like, lastly, it's such a cool girl, she.

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Speaker 2: Remembers.

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Speaker 3: I remember the video part, but it was interesting because yes,

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Speaker 3: I don't have a very good memory, but I just

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Speaker 3: remember the video shoot. I didn't see anything romantic or

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Speaker 3: really felt that. But I had a really good time.

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Speaker 3: And that was probably the first time after years of

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Speaker 3: doing music together and not together, that was the first

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Speaker 3: time I really got to hang out with him and

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Speaker 3: it was fun. I had a good time, and that

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Speaker 3: was that. And then how it kind of continued was

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Speaker 3: I was always cautious because I always wanted to make

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Speaker 3: sure that I did protect myself, so to be honest,

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Speaker 3: I didn't talk to him very often.

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Speaker 2: I thought she hated it.

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Speaker 1: Really really, I.

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Speaker 5: Knew that was going.

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Speaker 2: I really did.

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Speaker 4: I thought she didn't like. I would see her and

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Speaker 4: I would be like, does she not like me? Like,

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Speaker 4: and I like we weren't thinking about anything. I was like, wow,

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Speaker 4: she really like didn't talk to me. And I was

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Speaker 4: like I thought it was being nice, and like my

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Speaker 4: friends would be like no, no, And then like there

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Speaker 4: was another time I remember and.

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Speaker 2: My friends were like, oh, yes, it's kind of weird, and.

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Speaker 4: I was so far and there was like a few

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Speaker 4: times and I and I didn't know, and I was

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Speaker 4: just like, you know, I was like, that's okay.

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Speaker 3: I thought I was being like polite by not.

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Speaker 2: She didn't really engage.

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Speaker 3: Basically, we I was working on some music and we

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Speaker 3: went through some of the demos that we had in

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Speaker 3: single soon came up, which is ironic because it was

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Speaker 3: actually nowhere near where I was in my personal life.

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Speaker 3: But Benny happened to do the song.

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Speaker 2: No, I didn't even do this song.

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Speaker 4: It was like one of my guys, oh yeah, and

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Speaker 4: I like came to help out because I was like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I want their song to I was like, I don't

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Speaker 4: like the way this product, and let me just at

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Speaker 4: least help them.

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Speaker 2: I said.

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Speaker 4: I was like, well, I'm not sure if it'll be

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Speaker 4: okay because I don't know if Selina likes me or something.

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Speaker 4: And then John Jannik, the you know, the president of Interscope.

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Speaker 4: He was like, well, why don't you just go into

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Speaker 4: the session. She usually doesn't have people in, but just

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Speaker 4: go in and like if there is something that you

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Speaker 4: feel is weird, like try to just smooth it over

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Speaker 4: and talk to her and get in. And I said, okay,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to go smooth it over. So I went in.

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Speaker 4: It was so funny. Right before I came, her engineer

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Speaker 4: told me, like Lee that she was like, oh, Benny's coming.

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Speaker 3: And she was like, and here's her reasoning. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to defend myself. I get very nervous around the producers

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Speaker 3: watching me, saying, of course, it's just a very intimate

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Speaker 3: thing for me. I feel like I need to sound

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Speaker 3: a certain way or do whatever to make them happy.

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Speaker 3: And when I get to record just me and my

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Speaker 3: engineer and maybe someone I trust, I get more out

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Speaker 3: of the experience. So I just was thinking, Okay, well,

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Speaker 3: maybe he'll stay for ten minutes and we'll just talk

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Speaker 3: for a second. And ten minutes turned into like thirty.

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Speaker 3: Then he went to the other room and I finished recording,

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Speaker 3: and he stayed there and then yeah, this is too long.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so here.

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Speaker 4: So from my perspective, here's what happened. I get in there,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm like, I got a smooth this.

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Speaker 1: I love this back and forth.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I don't have this with anyone, Like

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Speaker 4: I was like, I want us to be chill, and

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Speaker 4: obviously ninety nine percent of it in my head.

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Speaker 2: And I come in.

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Speaker 4: We just started talking about life and her A and

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Speaker 4: R is there, one of my friends is there, and

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Speaker 4: we're just we're talking about life, and we start talking

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Speaker 4: about dating and I was like, yeah, you know, I

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Speaker 4: went out on this date blah blah blah. And then

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Speaker 4: I was talking to her and I said, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: I have so many good single guy friends. I was like,

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Speaker 4: we have dinners at the house all the time. You

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Speaker 4: should come over sometime. And I wasn't even thinking about anything,

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Speaker 4: and we're like talking about like our ideal date and

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Speaker 4: like this and that. I wanted to make sure she

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Speaker 4: did the line right, so I was like, oh, I'll

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Speaker 4: stay there to like make sure it's good after and

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Speaker 4: then so I did. We left, and then I didn't

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Speaker 4: have her cell phone number because she changed her number

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Speaker 4: a bunch, so like I like asked someone, I said, hey,

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Speaker 4: give me your cell phone number. I want to say, like,

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Speaker 4: you know thing and I wrote. I was like, oh

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Speaker 4: my god, you were And during that I when I

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Speaker 4: was with her, I was like, oh my god. I

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Speaker 4: was like, not only she's like really cool, I was

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Speaker 4: like I want I was like I want to be

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Speaker 4: like I was like, I want her to be like

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Speaker 4: in our friend group. And what couldn't even be thinking.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I want her to be in our

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Speaker 4: friend group. And I want to make sure this thing

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Speaker 4: smoothed out so the song figures out, goes well and everything.

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Speaker 4: So I said, let me just text her thank you

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Speaker 4: or whatever. And I was like, you know, you were

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Speaker 4: so sweet or something something like that, and then she

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Speaker 4: writes back, I guess we just were texting throughout the

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Speaker 4: day and she she told me she looked back at

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Speaker 4: our message. She said, somehow you started sending like selfies

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Speaker 4: where you looked really bad on perfect, like the worst one.

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Speaker 3: Yes, which by the way, no girls should really or

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Speaker 3: anyone in their mind right mind to someone they would

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Speaker 3: have a crush on, do that. But we were talking

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Speaker 3: about ugly photos, like because I always say I take

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Speaker 3: the worst photos sometimes and he's like, oh, you said something,

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Speaker 3: and I sent him the worst pictures of me, like

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Speaker 3: since like in bed sick and then you know me

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Speaker 3: at weird photo shoots. Said now, looking back on it,

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm just thinking that's these are so weird.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why I see in that moment or

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Speaker 2: not yet.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh you did, Okay, so that's what I had

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Speaker 4: no idea. So I had no idea, and somehow we

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Speaker 4: decide so.

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Speaker 1: Wait, why did you do that? If you liked Benny,

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Speaker 1: Why were you sending well?

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Speaker 3: Because I didn't know that it was going to be

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Speaker 3: like maybe I thought it was just going to be

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Speaker 3: flirting and not really anything else. But I really started

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Speaker 3: to to just, I don't know, fall for us.

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Speaker 4: So I didn't know any of this now. And then

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Speaker 4: we decide we're like we're I forget how it happens.

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Speaker 4: We're like, yeah, let's hang out. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 4: my friend's having a birthday party tomorrow. I was like,

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Speaker 4: you just just come along, and I was like just

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Speaker 4: thinking friend stuff. And then so she comes to mine,

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Speaker 4: and I guess she thought the party was going to

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Speaker 4: be at my house, but I was like, oh. In

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Speaker 4: my head, I was like, oh, she'll just come over

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Speaker 4: and we can just like grab a drink first and

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Speaker 4: then go there, like like not thinking anything of it.

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Speaker 4: I was like, we'll just like grab a drink at

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Speaker 4: my friend's wine bar, it's on the way, and then

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Speaker 4: we'll go there. You were there and we were sitting

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Speaker 4: together and she said something like, well, you know, because

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Speaker 4: it's a date I wore blah blah, and I was like.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, no, I said, if this was

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Speaker 3: a date, I definitely would have dressed like a nicer

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Speaker 3: and he just kind of looked at me and I

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Speaker 3: thought we were on a date.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, we're on a date.

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Speaker 4: And then and then we went and then we didn't

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Speaker 4: really talk about it. Who thought it was she thought

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Speaker 4: it was She thought.

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Speaker 1: It was a date.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, a nice man takes me out for a drink,

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Speaker 3: Crevis make it's a.

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Speaker 1: Date, I didn't know, but no one had lost each

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Speaker 1: other out yet.

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Speaker 4: No, it was like, let's just hang out, like and

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Speaker 4: then we go to my friends, we go to this

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Speaker 4: tie restaurant, we go to jit Lada, and we're like

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Speaker 4: hanging out and there's a bunch of people there, and

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Speaker 4: then she all of a sudden like leaves and she

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Speaker 4: was like, I gotta go to I have a video.

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Speaker 2: Shoot really early in the morning.

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Speaker 4: And I was like okay, And I was like but

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Speaker 4: I wasn't like because it wasn't a date to.

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Speaker 2: Me or anything.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, okay, cool, and I stayed with

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Speaker 4: my friends and stuff. And then she texts me after

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Speaker 4: and I remember you being like, that was like one

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Speaker 4: of the most fun times I've had in a really

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Speaker 4: long time, Selina.

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Speaker 1: So you technically asked Benny out on the first official day.

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Speaker 2: She did.

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Speaker 1: She did, like a walk us through, walk us through

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Speaker 1: that confidence, that that energy.

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Speaker 2: Because.

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Speaker 3: That's the scary part. I think that's when I recognized

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Speaker 3: that I had some sort of feelings for him.

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Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that love thrives in authenticity.

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Speaker 1: Showing up even imperfectly allows deep connections to form. It's

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Speaker 1: not about creating the perfect story, It's about cherishing the

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Speaker 1: moments that truly matter. Emma shares how the smallest, most

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Speaker 1: ordinary moments can become profound. Teachers are paying attention to

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Speaker 1: what's unfolding right in front of us can reveal who

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Speaker 1: we're becoming, what we need, and what's ready to change.

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Speaker 1: It's a reminder that growth doesn't just happen in big milestones.

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Speaker 1: It happens in the quiet shifts and honest check ins

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Speaker 1: allow ourselves. I was going to ask you actual because

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Speaker 1: I want everyone to get up to date with where

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Speaker 1: you are now, Like what is what is your day

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Speaker 1: to day life look like? You just said, Like I

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Speaker 1: wake up in a shower and go on a walk,

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Speaker 1: Like what does your day to day life look like

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Speaker 1: right now? And what what makes what's it made of

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Speaker 1: and one of the things that you love and look

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Speaker 1: forward to.

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Speaker 6: I recently started riding a bicycle, and yes I staid

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Speaker 6: riding bycle before my driving ban, but now it's particularly

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Speaker 6: for Titus. I also ride a bicycle for that reason.

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Speaker 1: But that was mainstream news.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 6: I was getting phone called like it's on the BBC,

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Speaker 6: It's on international worldwide news.

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Speaker 1: I was like, my shame is everywhere.

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Speaker 6: This is I mean what I say, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I think in a funny way, what the sweetest result

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Speaker 6: of it was getting so many messes from being people

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Speaker 6: being like happened to me too. I feel you there's

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Speaker 6: is awful. It stucks, which was kind of nice in

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Speaker 6: a way. But yeah, do you need a left It's like,

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Speaker 6: actually yes, but I think again, it's funny. Like I

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Speaker 6: went from when you work on movies. I don't know

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Speaker 6: if people know this, but like they literally will not

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Speaker 6: ensure you to drive yourself to work. I've asked so

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Speaker 6: many times, you have to be driven. You have to

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Speaker 6: be driven. It's like not a choice, and especially because

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Speaker 6: they need you there, you know, down to the minute,

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Speaker 6: basically depending on what they have going on. And so

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Speaker 6: I went from basically only driving myself on weekends or

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Speaker 6: during holiday and then when I became student, driving myself

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Speaker 6: all the time, and yeah, I did not have the

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Speaker 6: experience or skills clearly which I now will and and do.

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Speaker 6: But I think again, this was one of these like

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Speaker 6: awkward transitions I made from kind of living this like

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Speaker 6: very very structured life to living a life where I

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Speaker 6: was like, Okay, I guess I'm going to get myself

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Speaker 6: to this place and I'm going to like do this

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Speaker 6: thing that I've basically not done since I was ten

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Speaker 6: years old. So it's been a discovery and a journey

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Speaker 6: that's been Yeah, I guess humbling, because on a movie set,

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Speaker 6: I'm able to do all of these like extremely complex

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Speaker 6: things stunt saying, dance, like do this thing, do that whatever,

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Speaker 6: And I'm like, yep, don't worry.

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Speaker 1: About it, guys, no worries.

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Speaker 3: I've got you.

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Speaker 6: And then I get home and I'm like, okay, Emma,

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Speaker 6: you seem unable to remember keys, amy, able to like

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Speaker 6: keep yourself at thirty miles an hour in a thirty

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Speaker 6: mile speed limit, like you don't seem able to do

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Speaker 6: some pretty like basic life things. And it was definitely

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Speaker 6: kind of Yeah, I had days where I just wanted

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Speaker 6: to turn around to people and be like, I used

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Speaker 6: to be good at things. Okay, I used to be

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Speaker 6: really good at things. And I know it doesn't look

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Speaker 6: like that right now, but I used to I can

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Speaker 6: do things normally. So yeah, it's been uh, it's been humbling.

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Speaker 1: I feel I feel like all of us. I feel

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Speaker 1: like all of us can relate to that though, really,

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Speaker 1: because doesn't everyone forget their keys, their wallet, doesn't know

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Speaker 1: where they are, like these are these are like serious

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Speaker 1: And by the way, I was, I think I was

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Speaker 1: three points away from losing my license before I moved

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Speaker 1: to the States.

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Speaker 7: Thank you for that confession.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that so much because I was in the

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Speaker 1: States for I've been in the States now for nine years,

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Speaker 1: and I think it happened just but then all the

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Speaker 1: points get wiped off, and I think I'm now back

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Speaker 1: to six points. I spent two months in London a year, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I go back. I seem to very much better. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm confessing to a lot of people.

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Speaker 6: Actually, a lot of people have like taken it upon

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Speaker 6: themselves to come and confess to me, which I found

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Speaker 6: like very like very endearing and like really really appreciate it.

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Speaker 6: But no, I think, you know, I think something I've

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Speaker 6: been realizing is we most of us live in a

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Speaker 6: state of like, I'm just trying to kind of figure

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Speaker 6: it out and keep it together, And the only thing

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Speaker 6: that is different between us is people's willingness to be

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Speaker 6: honest about that, the degree to which they can admit

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Speaker 6: to actually I'm just like scrabbling around trying to keep

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Speaker 6: the reasons together, versus oh, yeah, I know, everything's amazing

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Speaker 6: and everything's incredible and I'm having the best day ever

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Speaker 6: and aren't you? And you know so I do love

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Speaker 6: the people who are just willing to be like, yeah,

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Speaker 6: it's it's not going so well today, I'm like, great, amazing,

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Speaker 6: what a good starting point? Like, I don't know, failure

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Speaker 6: as a starting point feels like I feel like attempting

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Speaker 6: things is so compelling, and of course success is wonderful.

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Speaker 5: But I love to see.

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Speaker 6: People who are like, I'm really bad at this, but

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Speaker 6: I'm going to try, Like I love you. That's everything

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Speaker 6: to me.

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Speaker 1: That seems to be becoming harder and harder now, Like

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Speaker 1: that desire to attempt something that you be good at. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because it's exposed, or because everyone will see it, or

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Speaker 1: because everyone will hear about it. Yeah, talking about attempting things,

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Speaker 1: I mean you're currently studying, right, You're learning?

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Speaker 6: Yes, yes, Well, two things I want to say there

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Speaker 6: is I think in a way I was sort of

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Speaker 6: I mean, I'm someone who's always cared about vulnerability and authenticity,

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Speaker 6: but I think I was also forced into it to

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Speaker 6: a degree that that maybe even I wasn't ready for,

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Speaker 6: and that like I just started so young that like

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Speaker 6: I had to learn in public, I had to make

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Speaker 6: mistakes in public and say, oh, okay, now I've learned this,

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Speaker 6: and I had to be willing to go back and

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Speaker 6: be like, hmm, like there were some gaps here and

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Speaker 6: here's what I know now. And I think people's I

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Speaker 6: agree with you. I think it's becoming increasingly difficult to

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Speaker 6: learn in public and continuing to learn. I mean, I

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Speaker 6: think that's one of the reasons why I have gone

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Speaker 6: back to school and why I continue to do it,

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Speaker 6: is because I want to make sure that I have

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Speaker 6: things to say that are worth saying. And I think

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Speaker 6: you can only do that if you take a minute

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Speaker 6: sometimes and listen to some people who aren't you. You know,

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Speaker 6: like not just the sound of my own, my own

395
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Speaker 6: wonderful voice. So, yeah, it's been it's been great. And

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Speaker 6: I think also I needed to I wanted to be inspired.

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Speaker 6: I think being around my favorite piece has been being

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Speaker 6: around young people who still believe that the world is

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Speaker 6: malleable and things are changeable, and that like anything can

400
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Speaker 6: be done is such important energy. There's so much dystopian

401
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Speaker 6: fiction at the moment, and dystopian movies dark. It's so dark,

402
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Speaker 6: and I'm just like, what happened to thinking about the utopia?

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Speaker 6: What happened to like planning for the best case scenario?

404
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Speaker 6: Like where where did we lose?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Vision, excitement, imagination, possibility. So I think it's been Yeah,

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Speaker 6: it's been wonderful to be around young people and just

408
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Speaker 6: to sit there and listen. Yeah, do you ever I

409
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Speaker 6: mean you clearly read so much. Do you have to

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Speaker 6: take yourself away to do it in order to feeble

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Speaker 6: to do it? Do you have to call it an

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Speaker 6: off time?

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Speaker 8: Like?

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Speaker 6: How are you still managing to study and learn? Because

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Speaker 6: that seems like it's important to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you reminded me as you were talking of one

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Speaker 1: of my spiritual teachers, my monk teacher, who always said

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Speaker 1: to me, if you want to move three steps forward,

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Speaker 1: you have to go three steps deep first.

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Speaker 3: WHOA.

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Speaker 1: And what I've found often in my life is I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to go four steps forward and i haven't yet

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Speaker 1: gone four steps deep. And so it's almost like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is probably a terrible analogy, but maybe thinking of

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Speaker 1: the movie The Substance, I don't know if you watched it,

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Speaker 1: I got terrible. Let's read no, no, no, no, let's

427
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Speaker 1: forget about it. But it's that idea of like every

428
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Speaker 1: extra step you take when you haven't learned, and you

429
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Speaker 1: haven't experimented, and you haven't attempted, is taking away from

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Speaker 1: your ability to move forward. And sometimes I think when

431
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Speaker 1: we feel stuck, or when we think things are not

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Speaker 1: moving or they're not progressing, you may be a signed

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Speaker 1: to say, well, pause and go deeper for a second,

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Speaker 1: or pause and go inward for a second. And so

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Speaker 1: to me hearing that from you, I find that and

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Speaker 1: I definitely fail at this all the time. There are

437
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 1: so many times I'm trying to push more forward than

438
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 1: I've gone deep. And so whenever I notice there myself

439
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 1: and I notice that I'm just kind of trying everything

440
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: and nothing is working. It's actually just the universe and

441
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 1: self saying to me, go read, go study. And so

442
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 1: I've found that I've had to really carve out time

443
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 1: to make time to do what I love, which is

444
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: to read and study. But I've found that I'm someone

445
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 1: who doesn't love thirty minutes a day. I'm not that

446
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,160
Speaker 1: kind of a reader. I'm someone who needs to read

447
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,679
Speaker 1: for three or four hours, if not more. And so

448
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 1: I found that carving out deep, immersive time is more

449
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: important to me than this kind of mechanical thirty forty

450
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: minutes a day, which is great for you if that

451
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 1: works for you as a habit, it doesn't for me

452
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: because I'm a bit of an extremist and I just

453
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: need to spend a whole week reading, yeah, as opposed

454
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 1: to you know, I don't need to read every day.

455
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: So I'll try, and I try once a month on

456
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: a weekend to just absorb into a subject that I love,

457
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: and I'll take a course, I'll go to a class,

458
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: I'll watch a Ted talk online, I'll read as many

459
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 1: books as I can, and I try and immerse myself

460
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: that way. What's your learning stuff?

461
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 6: I'm the same as you, and actually someone who I

462
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 6: really respect and ask for advice for often, and I

463
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 6: ask for feedback on myself. He said to me, Emma,

464
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 6: I think if you did ninety percent of what you

465
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 6: wanted to do at fifty percent of the speed, you

466
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 6: would get so much more, Like life would be so

467
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 6: much better. And I was like, wow, fifty percent of

468
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 6: the speed and only ninety percent of what I want

469
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,439
Speaker 6: to do. And he was like, I think that's the

470
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 6: minimum to be honest, and I was like, wow, but

471
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 6: I think, yeah, for what you said resonates. I think

472
00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 6: I often have to remind myself that it's about speedily

473
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 6: getting somewhere. It's just not the point. Things are supposed

474
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 6: to happen with a certain timing.

475
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that life's transitions, even the

476
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: awkward or challenging ones, are opportunities to grow. Struggle doesn't

477
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: diminish our past achievements, It humanizes us. Being honest about

478
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: where we are and embracing failure as a starting point

479
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 1: creates space for real learning, authenticity, and resilience. Want to

480
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: make a real difference this giving season This December on

481
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 1: Purpose is part of Pods Fight Poverty podcast, teaming up

482
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: to lift three villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty.

483
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: We're doing it through give Directly, which sends cash straight

484
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 1: to families so they can choose what they need most.

485
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 1: Donate at GiveDirectly dot org, forward slash on purpose. First

486
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: time gifts are matched, doubling your impact. Our goal is

487
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:05,440
Speaker 1: one million dollars by year's end, enough to lift seven

488
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: hundred families out of poverty. Join us at GiveDirectly dot org,

489
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 1: forward slash on purpose. Cardib opens up about the difficult

490
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: chapters she has walked through in her life, career pressures,

491
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: relationship struggles, and the loneliness that followed. If you've ever

492
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: been in a season that felt heavy or impossible to

493
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: move through, her story shows how accountability, reflection, and time

494
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 1: can help you rebuild and grow. Talk to me about

495
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: the depression. For you, as confident as you are, as

496
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: bold as you are, to be so vulnerable and I'm

497
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: so sorry you went through that, but to be so

498
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 1: honest and open about the fact that a year ago

499
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 1: you were in this dark depression and it seems like

500
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: the worst it had ever been. What got you there?

501
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 1: Why are you feeling your love?

502
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 9: It was just a lot of pressure from my career.

503
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:12,719
Speaker 9: And I also felt like my marriage, like I felt

504
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 9: the love dying from May end, from from from May end,

505
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 9: from his end. I was very lonely because I chose

506
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 9: to be lonely, choose to be lonely. I was saying, like,

507
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 9: you know what, I can't go through this anymore. I

508
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 9: have to put a stop to it. But when I

509
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 9: said I was gonna put a stop to it, because

510
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 9: you could say you're gonna put a put a stop

511
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 9: to it, and you could. You could go a month

512
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 9: without being around somebody, it's not it's not until you

513
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 9: It's not when you say so, it's when your heart

514
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 9: say so. I kept telling myself, I will not contact

515
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 9: this person for a month. I will not give in.

516
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 9: I will not forgive this easy. I will not go back,

517
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 9: I will not go to the patterns. I will not

518
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 9: go through it. But I was crying every day. I

519
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 9: was hurt every day I was out here in la

520
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 9: and imagined by myself. I was thinking about it every

521
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 9: single day. And when your heart is not done, your

522
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 9: heart is not done. Then I told myself, I'm pregnant.

523
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 9: I'm going to accept the I'm gonna accept my flaws,

524
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 9: the flaws that I bring in this marriage, I'm gonna

525
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 9: apologize for it and I'm gonna work on it. And

526
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 9: when I take accountability and you take advantage of me

527
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 9: taking accountability and you take that as a see, I

528
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 9: know she'd be back instead of me taking accountability and

529
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 9: you taken advantage of that, it really just killed everything.

530
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 9: And while it was dying, I had a human growing

531
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 9: in me and I just had and I just kept thinking,

532
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 9: like It's like, what was life going to be without

533
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 9: this person? What life going to be without raising my

534
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 9: last child, without this person's life going to be with

535
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 9: that person not being my friend anymore, without nothing. When

536
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 9: you have those type of thoughts, it would make you sad,

537
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 9: It will get you depressed, it will have you lost.

538
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 9: But I overcame that and I am the strongest that

539
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 9: like I have ever been. Like I almost feel like

540
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 9: when was I ever my strongest. I felt my strongest

541
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 9: when I was twenty two, twenty three, twenty four. That's

542
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,919
Speaker 9: when I feel like my strongest. And I was like

543
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 9: living in a power. And that's how I feel right now,

544
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 9: Like I feel like I live in a power. And

545
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 9: it took months for the heart to say you're done

546
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 9: instead of my mouth and my brain my heart had

547
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 9: to be like you're done, because you could say it

548
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 9: and you could take actions. But even if you take actions,

549
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 9: if you're not done, you're not done. Like I kept asking,

550
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 9: like around that time, I was working with Shakiro, and

551
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 9: I was like, how did you over overcame this?

552
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: Like?

553
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 9: How did you overcame this? And it's like it's going

554
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 9: to happen and it's like it will never happen, And

555
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 9: it happened. It took some crying, it took some thoughts,

556
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 9: scary thoughts. What I'm here, Yeah, I'm here, and I'm

557
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 9: the strongest I've been and I'm.

558
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: Just I love it that m.

559
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 5: But it was hard.

560
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:52,959
Speaker 1: I can tell. I could tell. I could see it

561
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: as I'm speaking to you. It's it's not easy. And

562
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: I think those moments in all of our lives are

563
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: the most difficult moment. What did you do for your

564
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 1: mental health at that time? What did you do? What

565
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: actions did you take? What did you have to do

566
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you

567
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: are right now? I think there are so many people

568
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 1: who are listening who've probably been through similar things, who

569
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: feel broken, feel hurt, feel lost, and confused. What works

570
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: for you that helped you come back the strongest you've

571
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: ever been. I don't know.

572
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 9: If it was just time, because I kind of did

573
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 9: a little bit of everything, Like I did do therapy.

574
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 5: At this at this or therapist. She's really good. By

575
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 5: the way.

576
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 9: It was like on Zoom and it was like I

577
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 9: was telling myself, Like I was like, I can't believe

578
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 9: I'm telling a whole stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my

579
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 9: personal business for three hours straight. What then am I doing?

580
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 9: That just feels so weird. I was in I did

581
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 9: therapy for I did a couple accessions.

582
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 5: They ain't gave me, no nothing.

583
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 9: I was on Spring all summer recording. It just wasn't

584
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 9: like enough. I just felt like I just had to

585
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 9: let it die on its own. Let things die on

586
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 9: its own. And the bad thing about it is that

587
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 9: it's like now only am I dealing with that? That's

588
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 9: my personal life. I was also dealing with fans putting

589
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 9: pressure on me because they want, you know, they want

590
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 9: an album, they want products from me. I had people

591
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 9: that don't like me talking down on me, and then

592
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 9: I had peers trying to start problems with me, and

593
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 9: all of that while I was going through a mental

594
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 9: sking breakdown at home.

595
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: So it was just a lot.

596
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 9: It was like, I'm trying to work it, I'm trying.

597
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 10: To sleep it.

598
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 9: After I gave birth to my daughter, my baby girl,

599
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 9: I was just like, Okay, take a break from work,

600
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 9: and I was just going out every weekend with my friends.

601
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 9: It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them

602
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 9: a little piece of me that just out my heart,

603
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 9: just a little piece of me.

604
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: And but.

605
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 9: I overcame that and I just that's why I feel

606
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 9: like I just became a little bit more better, like

607
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 9: just resetting.

608
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good it's a good reminder that time

609
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: is the ultimate reset and time does have a healing

610
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: power that we you know, the cliche of time heals

611
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: or wounds, but it's the truth that it is true.

612
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: It's a cliche because there's truth in it. Yeah, there's

613
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: some reality in it that time and distance and and

614
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: being patient enough I was. I was working with a

615
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: client recently who was going through a breakup, and when

616
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: we would speak in the first month, she would tell

617
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: me every single day that she couldn't stop thinking about

618
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: the guy she was breaking up with. That broke up

619
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: with her, and then the second month she'd tell me

620
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: every other day, and then the third month she tell

621
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: me once a week. Yeah, And then the fourth month

622
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: she was just telling me once a month, and I

623
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 1: was like, you don't see it, but I see, yeah,

624
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: that it's affecting you less and less and less as

625
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: time goes on. But when it's you, you feel like

626
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 1: you're just still stuck there. And so it's such a

627
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: great reminder that time is the ultimate reset and time

628
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 1: does heal.

629
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 9: And just because time heal, like in the meantime, don't

630
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 9: think that you shouldn't like try to get help because

631
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 9: it's like therapy didn't really.

632
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: Help me, like that I didn't work for you.

633
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 5: Not as much.

634
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,239
Speaker 9: Well maybe because maybe because I didn't get to the

635
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 9: part of where you get the help.

636
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 5: I mean I did do this.

637
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 9: Like six sessions.

638
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: I don't know how.

639
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 9: Like sometimes when I give advice to girls, I'd be like, bitch,

640
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 9: boss up, boss up, go to word, get pretty. But

641
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 9: even when I was doing that, I had like a

642
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 9: pain in my heart. And sometimes when I was going

643
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 9: out with my friends and I was having a good time,

644
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 9: it will always be like around four thirty am when

645
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 9: it's time to go home, and I'm drunk and I'm

646
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 9: thinking to myself.

647
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 5: I am alone.

648
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 9: I don't have nobody to talk to, and it feels

649
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 9: really weird and it feels very lonely, especially when you're

650
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 9: used to that. However, don't don't avoid that. Don't like,

651
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 9: don't avoid that. But it will be time that will

652
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 9: heal it. It will be time. Time just heals everything.

653
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: When you said again last week, you were saying, when

654
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: you put new music out, it was kind of the

655
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: lowest you'd felt in another year. What's the hardest part

656
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: for you to take that criticism? Because, like you said,

657
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: you're quick with it, You've got responses, You've lived in

658
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: a place where you had people coming at you. Why

659
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: is it so hard to put out something you love?

660
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: It seems like you've really put your heart into your work. Yeah,

661
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: and so when you put that out, is that why

662
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,439
Speaker 1: the criticism hurts the most? Because you put so much

663
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 1: heart and soul into your work.

664
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,320
Speaker 9: Yes, because I put it like a lot. I always

665
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 9: I don't like what like. I'm not a lazy person,

666
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 9: and I do understand my flaws. Well, it's not really

667
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 9: my flaws because a lot of people who say something

668
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 9: about my accent, right, But it's funny because my accent,

669
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 9: to some people, might be my flaw, but it's also

670
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 9: my superpower and what makes me unique. Some people say

671
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 9: that I have a Spanish a Spanish accent, but I

672
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 9: really don't really have a Spanish accent. I have a

673
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 9: very unique accent. I talk very unique. When you try

674
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 9: your best to like perfect your accent, perfect your flows,

675
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 9: perfect everything. I always trying to perfect everything that I'm

676
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 9: doing at the time. I always trying to perfect it.

677
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 9: Like even when I was a stripper, I just like, Okay,

678
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,879
Speaker 9: I'm a stripper, but I'm gonna be the best pull

679
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 9: dancer in here, and I'm gonna fucking bust my ass,

680
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 9: bust my knees, get practice every day and to be

681
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 9: the best at it. That's the same with music. I'm

682
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 9: gonna perfect it. That's the same with my marketing, I'm

683
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 9: gonna perfect it. That's the same with my business. I'm

684
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 9: gonna perfect it. I like to perfect things, and if

685
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 9: it's not the best things, if I'm not the best

686
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 9: at it, I could say that I try to be

687
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 9: and I work my ass off to be and I

688
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 9: didn't make it easy for myself. So when people just

689
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 9: throw it in your face and then make other narratives

690
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 9: on top of it with that, it's like, that is

691
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 9: so mean, And it's also like different narratives of you,

692
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 9: like I say, Wow, you don't even know me. You

693
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 9: don't even know me, and you're making all these story

694
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 9: scenarios or this diss over one song.

695
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that time is one of

696
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 1: the greatest healers. Growth often comes through discomfort, and while

697
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: therapy and external support absolutely help, the ultimate reset is patience,

698
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: self awareness, and persistence. Difficult chapters can lead to profound

699
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 1: transformation if we let them. Next up, Madonna discusses the

700
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: role of spirituality in navigating life's ups and downs. Her

701
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: spiritual practice has been a guiding force throughout her life,

702
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 1: helping us stay driven, aware, and intentional. She emphasizes the

703
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: importance of reflection and taking space for yourself, especially in

704
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: a world increasingly dominated by work and digital distractions. What's

705
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: your intention for being here today? Why now? Why today?

706
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 11: Well, in the past, I've usually done interviews to promote

707
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 11: my work, whether that's music or a tour or film,

708
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 11: But today I would like to talk about my spiritual life.

709
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 11: And the spiritual path that I've been on for over

710
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 11: twenty eight years. This wisdom has helped me navigate them

711
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 11: the ups and downs of life. For lack of a

712
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 11: better expression, people ask me a lot through the years,

713
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 11: like what is the reason you're still saying? What is

714
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 11: the reason you keep going? Why have you not fallen

715
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 11: by the wayside like other people? Definitely a lot of

716
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,839
Speaker 11: my peers who who are no longer with us like,

717
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 11: what would you say is the key? And I would

718
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 11: say that is my spiritual life. I absolutely would not

719
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 11: be where I am or who I am if I

720
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,479
Speaker 11: did not have that. It's helped me enormously, as I said,

721
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 11: navigate the ups and downs of life.

722
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 5: I feel like I would like to share that with people.

723
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 11: So that's really the point of I'm not here to

724
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 11: promote a product or I don't want anyone to buy anything.

725
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 11: I just I want to share something with people that

726
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 11: has pretty much saved my life.

727
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 5: It sounds dramatic, but it's true.

728
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like it's something that's extremely meaningful to

729
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: you and a deep part of your life that often

730
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: I feel you don't get to share in other spaces.

731
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,879
Speaker 1: So even though it's been a part of your life

732
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: for nearly three decades. Maybe you haven't shared parts of

733
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: it before. What would your life look like if you

734
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 1: didn't find it.

735
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 5: I would believe that the physical world is all there is.

736
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 11: I would believe all the illusions, and that would be

737
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 11: my downfall, and that is most people's downfall.

738
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 1: What does spirituality mean to you? Because I think that

739
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: word itself means so many things to so many people.

740
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 11: Yes, I mean a spiritual life or a spiritual path

741
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 11: could could be mean a lot of things.

742
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 5: I know that you have a spiritual path, and.

743
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 11: For me, it's not really about like who's is the

744
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 11: best or you know, it's whatever works for you. I've

745
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 11: been studying Kabbala for twenty nine years, so since nineteen

746
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 11: ninety six. Yeah, it's a long time.

747
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: It's a long time, and.

748
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 5: I'm not a frivolous person.

749
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 11: I don't suffer fools gladly if something if I think

750
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 11: there's something false about it or corrupt or not authentic,

751
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 11: I wouldn't have stuck around for so long. I've had

752
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 11: the same teacher for all this time. I feel like,

753
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 11: almost like it's my responsibility to share with people because

754
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 11: I feel like I feel like people need guidance, people

755
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 11: need enlightenment, And for me, a spiritual life is having

756
00:39:55,160 --> 00:40:00,240
Speaker 11: an internal life because you know this, I'm sure you know.

757
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 11: If we get caught up in the belief system that

758
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 11: our value in the world is based on people loving

759
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 11: us or other people's approval or how much money you have,

760
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 11: or how many fabulous outfits you have or how many

761
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 11: follows you have on Instagram, those things don't make us happy.

762
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 11: Those things don't bring us peace. So having an internal

763
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 11: life and being able to look internally and having some

764
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,760
Speaker 11: kind of practice, whatever that might look like, your prayer,

765
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 11: your meditations, that the time you take out of every

766
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 11: day to.

767
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 5: Stop and take stock and contemplate.

768
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 11: We live in a very busy, chaotic world, lots of noise,

769
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 11: lots of distraction. I mean, how many times have you

770
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 11: heard people say, oh, you know, social media and like

771
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 11: all the you know, people can't walk down the street

772
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 11: without listening to music. Everybody has to be visually stimulated.

773
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 5: All the time. Like there's no there's no quiet.

774
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 11: We're not comfortable being quiet with ourselves and looking inward

775
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 11: and asking ourselves, why am I here or what am

776
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 11: I doing?

777
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 5: Or what is my intention?

778
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 11: In a specific choice I'm making right now, whether it's

779
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 11: about my work or the way I'm raising my children,

780
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 11: decisions that I make about everything, Really, I have to

781
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 11: ask myself. And if you don't have a spiritual life,

782
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 11: you're never going to stop and ask any questions. You're

783
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 11: just going to plow through life. And if you just

784
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 11: and you're going to see everything that happens to you

785
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 11: as just a random event. And I don't believe that

786
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 11: anything is random. I think everything that happens to us

787
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 11: is meant to happen to us to teach us some

788
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 11: kind of a lesson. But the question is, are you

789
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 11: aware enough, are you awake enough? Are you interested enough

790
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 11: to find out what that reason is?

791
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 8: Like?

792
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 5: Why did this happen to me? What is my lesson?

793
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 11: I don't want to go through your life seeing everything

794
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 11: that happens to me is random. But I also don't

795
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 11: want to go through life as a victim. And I've

796
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 11: had a pretty challenging life, and it's easy to fall

797
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 11: into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself or like

798
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 11: being a victim, or you know, why why isn't this

799
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 11: happening to other people? Why is it happening to me?

800
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 11: Why don't I have what that person has. I'm sure

801
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 11: you know the expression comparison is the killer of joy.

802
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 11: So you know, it's like, you got to get out

803
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 11: of that game.

804
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 5: You have to have a spiritual life. You just have to.

805
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: You're reminding me of something beautiful that I came across

806
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: called the third space theory. Have you heard of it.

807
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: It's this idea that as humans around fifty years ago,

808
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 1: we had three spaces. So we had work, we had home,

809
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,760
Speaker 1: and then you had a temple, a synagogue, a church,

810
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,919
Speaker 1: a community center, or a third space. And the point

811
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: of that third space, it's kind of what you're saying,

812
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: was a place that you could look back at work

813
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 1: and home and you could reflect on your life, you

814
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: could take stock, you could introspect. But as time's gone on,

815
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: what's happened is we lost that third space. We stopped

816
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: going to temple, church, community, whatever place of self reflection,

817
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: a place of self reflection, and we ended up with

818
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: working home, and then after the pandemic, we lost work,

819
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,720
Speaker 1: and so now we're in one space and we don't

820
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: have a different vantage point to where we are anymore,

821
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: which is what I think you're saying, go.

822
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 11: Back on even one more step that to me is

823
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 11: like a prison. Get if you get. If you remove

824
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:41,839
Speaker 11: the spiritual life, spiritual practice, you remove the workplace, then you're.

825
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,399
Speaker 5: In the home and then removed once more from home.

826
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:49,720
Speaker 11: Is you're looking at your phone, which is even takes

827
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:50,439
Speaker 11: you out of home.

828
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: It's a great point.

829
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, so yeah, where are you You're aware.

830
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 1: We're living in the virtual world. Yeah, we're living in

831
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: the virtual world, not even in the material world, which is.

832
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,439
Speaker 11: Yes, but in virtual virtual world is not a bad world.

833
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 11: But if you don't have consciousness, there's really no point

834
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 11: to living.

835
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's yeah. So it's interesting to think about that

836
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: because I feel like everyone can relate to the idea

837
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 1: that if we all had we need physical spaces to

838
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: sometimes make us do internal things.

839
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 11: Yes, I mean some kind of ritualistic behavior has to happen.

840
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 1: What have been your rituals? I'm intrigued what I'm curious?

841
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,959
Speaker 1: What are your spiritual practices and rituals that have been

842
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:34,919
Speaker 1: so supportive and emblematic of your journey, that have kept

843
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 1: you going at the times, As you said, there were

844
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 1: so many times you could give up, or things could

845
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: go wrong, or you kept pushing and they kept you locked.

846
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 1: What were they what are they?

847
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,479
Speaker 11: Well, one really important thing is studying, making time every

848
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 11: week to sit down and study. I mean, you can

849
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 11: study the Bible, you can study the poetry of Cahil Gibra,

850
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 11: or you can study the Vedas you you know.

851
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,240
Speaker 1: And you did that right. You actually studied different traditions.

852
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 11: And I mean, to be honest, before I discovered Kabala,

853
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 11: I was looking for answers.

854
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: And why do you think that was? Why were you

855
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: looking for answers?

856
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 11: Because I had everything that people would assume would give

857
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 11: you happiness. I had successful career, I had fame, fortune,

858
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 11: monetary things, physical things. But I wasn't happy, and I

859
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 11: naturally sought out well. When I was a dancer, I

860
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,439
Speaker 11: had a roommate. She was a Buddhist, and she would

861
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 11: get up and chant every day, and so I was

862
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 11: very intrigued by that, Like nothing bothered her, you know

863
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 11: what I mean, Everything bothers me, everything bothers me. I'm

864
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 11: you know, I'm a Leo, I'm Italian. I'm very dramatic.

865
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,440
Speaker 11: I wouldn't say she was peaceful all the time, but

866
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 11: I was just struck by her confidence and her knowingness

867
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 11: that everything was happening for a reason she never got

868
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 11: upset about things. And this is in the beginning of

869
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 11: my career when I was living in New York and

870
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,320
Speaker 11: I was broke and a lot of crazy things happened

871
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 11: to me. It's really scary, traumatic things. And I would

872
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 11: always ask her her name is Marianne. I would always

873
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 11: say what, like, why are you like never upset? So

874
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 11: I attributed that to her spiritual life, but it didn't

875
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 11: speak to me. And then later on I started practicing

876
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 11: yoga Ashtanga yoga and my teacher, Eddie Stern, he still

877
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:43,439
Speaker 11: has a you know Eddie, Yeah, he's amazing. I got

878
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 11: quite caught up in and competitive about like first series,

879
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 11: second series, third series. But one thing I noticed is

880
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 11: that a lot of people would come into his practice,

881
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 11: his studio where he taught, and they wouldn't even do

882
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 11: the posts. They would just go and sit in front

883
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 11: of the statue of ganesh candles or prayer. And I realized,

884
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 11: and Eddie pointed it out to me because sometimes I

885
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 11: would have injuries, I would or I would be traveling

886
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 11: and I couldn't practice yoga and he say, look are

887
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 11: you breathing And I'd say yes, and he said, you're

888
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 11: practicing yoga.

889
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 5: So I realized that I.

890
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 11: Was too still, too caught up in the physical poses.

891
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 11: He's like, no, you don't understand. You're missing the whole point.

892
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 5: The poses are just.

893
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:32,359
Speaker 11: Something that you do to breathe through, to calm your

894
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 11: nervous system down, and to bring you back to your center.

895
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 5: And that really spoke to me. There was a big now.

896
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:41,399
Speaker 8: It was a.

897
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:43,479
Speaker 11: Painting on the wall of the yoga studio. It says

898
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 11: desire and detachment. And I said, what does that mean?

899
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 11: And he said, well, of course we want. We want

900
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,280
Speaker 11: all the beautiful things in life. We want all the pleasures,

901
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 11: we want all the happiness, we want every we want

902
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 11: it all. There's nothing wrong with that which can't be

903
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 11: attached to it, because then if you're attached to it

904
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 11: and you don't have it, what's going to happen to you?

905
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that cultivating an internal life

906
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: through spirituality, reflection, or mindful practice anchors us amidst life's chaos.

907
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 1: Understanding our experiences as lessons rather than random events, allows growth, purpose,

908
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 1: and resilience. Doctor Owner masterfully explores the dynamics of narcissism

909
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 1: and relationships, showing how our interactions often reflect deeper patterns

910
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 1: within ourselves. She reminds us to look beyond surface labels

911
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: and understand the real drivers of our behavior and choices

912
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: in relationships. Everyone feels like they've dated and narcissists. How

913
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 1: accurate are they?

914
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 10: One hundred percent accurate? Because we all have parts of

915
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 10: ourselves that are narcissistically oriented, meaning there to protect our

916
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 10: sense of self. Some people move more to the extreme

917
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 10: and they're really like deeply wounded and have to spend

918
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 10: a lot of energy protecting themselves and working around their ego.

919
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 10: But most of us, in certain situations were provoked to

920
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 10: behave in more narcissistic ways, and when we're offered other conditions,

921
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 10: we can be more open and interested in the world.

922
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 10: So it's usually the way it's used in pop language.

923
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,360
Speaker 10: It's usually just like a word that covers up a

924
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 10: whole other world of things. I think when people talk

925
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 10: about I've dated a narcissist, they're like, that person didn't

926
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 10: give me enough attention, And what's that about? That there

927
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 10: could be so much there, like what went on between

928
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 10: the two of you? Why what happened? Where were you

929
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 10: in that It doesn't tell you much.

930
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so happy to hear that, because I do

931
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 1: think that the word is relief. And it's not that

932
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 1: it's wrong, it's just that don't stop unpacking it there. Yeah,

933
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: so those words are really helpful for you to categorize,

934
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 1: summarize your experience. But don't feel that that's the end

935
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 1: of the investigations, Like there's so much more exactly, and

936
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 1: you're actually doing yourself a disservice.

937
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 10: Yeah, And the moment you're thinking about I found a

938
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:21,919
Speaker 10: word that finds all the problem outside of me. You're

939
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 10: deluding yourself.

940
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 1: When you find couples coming with financial issues, Is it

941
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:27,840
Speaker 1: really about money?

942
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 10: Money is a big issue for people. Money is a

943
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 10: big issue for people. You know, the question of money.

944
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 10: One of the questions that that couples deal with when

945
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:42,600
Speaker 10: they're fighting or debating about money is the deep question

946
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 10: of mine versus ours? What's mine? And what are we sharing?

947
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 10: And the most concrete version of it is money. But

948
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:59,919
Speaker 10: it's everything. It's time, it's attention, it's airtime, it's said,

949
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 10: it's so much is like mine versus ours? But money

950
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 10: is like, especially in our culture, money is like the

951
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 10: most concrete way to talk about it and to fight

952
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 10: about it, Like if you're making more money than your

953
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 10: spouse or than your partner who pays for dinner, Like,

954
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 10: what's the vibe between the two of you? Is it

955
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 10: shared money or is it no, we're still going Dutch? Right,

956
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 10: Fights about money are about the concreteness of money, but

957
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 10: they're also about where do I begin an end and

958
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 10: what's us together? And then there's a whole other thing

959
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 10: with money, which is money is also something to do

960
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 10: with our relationship with reality. Right, I mean back to

961
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 10: the idea of someone hiding a suitcase with bills, unpaid

962
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 10: bills under the bed, Like how realistic is your relationship

963
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 10: with reality, with what you have, with what you're making. Like,

964
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 10: when people talk about money, they're talking about reality in

965
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 10: certain ways. I usually ask people, how do you think

966
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 10: money should play out between the two of you? If

967
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 10: you're making more money than your partner, what is your

968
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 10: ideology on this? What do you really think should happen?

969
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 10: Does that give you more power? Does that mean you

970
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:25,919
Speaker 10: should be making more of the decisions. Does that mean

971
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 10: your partner should be paying for less? How do you

972
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 10: think about it?

973
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 5: Each of you?

974
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 10: Just what's your basic ideology? Which is hard for people

975
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 10: to acknowledge.

976
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:35,359
Speaker 1: Right.

977
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 10: They want to feel like no, money doesn't matter, but

978
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 10: it matters to everyone in some way or another. They

979
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 10: have an ideology, so are they willing to put it

980
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 10: on the table to be honest with how they think

981
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,759
Speaker 10: about it? And then once you compare these ideologies, then

982
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 10: we can have a discussion. It's back to the idea

983
00:52:53,239 --> 00:53:00,360
Speaker 10: of like the couple creating their political backdrop. What is

984
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 10: the politics of this relationship? Are you like socialist or

985
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 10: are you capitalist? Are you what's your economics?

986
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,359
Speaker 1: If we vote differently, you probably.

987
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 10: Will disagree on some level. You will somewhere you will disagree,

988
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 10: and then it's going to get interesting. It's going to

989
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 10: be like a congress, like right, debating what's the right

990
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 10: way to do it? But it's better to have that

991
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,839
Speaker 10: debate on the table rather than acted out in those

992
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 10: like what was that film?

993
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 2: There was that?

994
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 10: Oh my god, it's a film in which there's a shipwreck.

995
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,320
Speaker 10: There's this couple that are sitting at the dinner table

996
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 10: and they're looking at each other like who's going to

997
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:44,839
Speaker 10: pull out the credit card? Brilliant scene. Everything about their

998
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 10: relationship was in that scene with her kind of pretending

999
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:55,240
Speaker 10: she lost her card, okay, and him, but reluctantly pulling

1000
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 10: out his credit card and then there was It was

1001
00:53:58,239 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 10: just perfect.

1002
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 1: I was thinking of the movie Got fair Play. I

1003
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: did you see that.

1004
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 10: I heard about it.

1005
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 5: I didn't see it.

1006
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,800
Speaker 1: I think you I don't know if you'd enjoy it.

1007
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,279
Speaker 1: I don't know your taste of movies, but I think

1008
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 1: it's really interesting. It's a story but where it's a

1009
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: movie made about a couple who are competing for the

1010
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 1: same job because they work at the same company. But

1011
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 1: it's really dark and it really goes into that the

1012
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:26,959
Speaker 1: psychology of competition, gender, roles, the pay gap, everything comes

1013
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,439
Speaker 1: to play and it shows how it affects them from

1014
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: the bedroom to the boardroom to everywhere else. It's really

1015
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 1: well done. Yeah, it's really well done. It just it

1016
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 1: just shows you what's going on inside of our heads

1017
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 1: that doesn't often come out, and and just how we

1018
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 1: all feel. And it's so interesting how society and all

1019
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 1: of this has such a play on how we feel

1020
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 1: about our role and who we are. Today, we have

1021
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: so many more people to look at and view and

1022
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:59,280
Speaker 1: see how their lives are going. I had a friend

1023
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: who his girlfriend made more money than him, and he

1024
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,280
Speaker 1: did really well for himself, but she made more money

1025
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 1: than him, so but she expected him to pay for everything,

1026
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,720
Speaker 1: and she wanted him not only to pay for dinners

1027
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: and rent, and she wanted him to buy her a

1028
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: car because she believed that because he's a man, because

1029
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: he's the man, that's how she should be treated. You know,

1030
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 1: that was for her.

1031
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 10: Imagine them having a conversation. They ended up breaking up,

1032
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 10: but what would their conversation sound like?

1033
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 1: Literally this, I did know this. I'm a queen, I'm

1034
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:39,160
Speaker 1: a princess. I'm like this hour should be treated like this.

1035
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 10: You think she said something like that.

1036
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: She said stuff like this. Yeah, wow, that's amazing.

1037
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 10: Yeah, that's amazing.

1038
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 1: And you see a lot of this language on TikTok

1039
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,400
Speaker 1: and things like that about what a high value man is,

1040
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 1: what a high value woman is, and a lot of

1041
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: the language and vocabulary out there. What is it?

1042
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 10: What is meant by a high value man?

1043
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:01,399
Speaker 1: I mean, there's lots of different definition, but generally it's

1044
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 1: someone who does has a good career, makes a lot

1045
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 1: of money, does well for themselves. And you know that

1046
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 1: the obvious definition of.

1047
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 10: It, Well it's not obvious.

1048
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but yeah, but it's just interesting to hear

1049
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 1: how these societal ideas kind of because then we're like, oh,

1050
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 1: but you're not with a high value man, you know.

1051
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 1: And and it's really interesting because in my world, a

1052
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,720
Speaker 1: high value man would be someone who has good value.

1053
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 10: It's like the good value being like ethics.

1054
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:34,760
Speaker 1: Ethics, yeah, exactly, like character, moral character, strength and courage

1055
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 1: and bravery and honesty and right, that's what I would

1056
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: consider a high value person for the man. Yeah, And

1057
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 1: it's interesting how all this language at play kind of

1058
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:49,879
Speaker 1: cascades ideas quickly, like you said, because it's easier rather

1059
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 1: than saying I'm with a good man, it's easier to

1060
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 1: arm with a high value man. But you know what

1061
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:54,479
Speaker 1: does that mean?

1062
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 8: Right?

1063
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to ask you do more people

1064
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 1: want more intimacy or more sex?

1065
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 10: I think, first of all, it's it's a complicated thing

1066
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 10: to draw the line between intimacy and sex. Oh interesting,

1067
00:57:11,239 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 10: And I think it depends very much on the stage

1068
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 10: of the relationship early on. One of the things, I mean,

1069
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 10: we all know that one of the things that binds people,

1070
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 10: one of the strongest glues is sex, like passion and

1071
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 10: excitement about each other and like, you know, wanting to

1072
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 10: get into bed together, and then at some point people

1073
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 10: start coming to terms with like differences, differences in scripts,

1074
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 10: differences in appetite.

1075
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 5: I know that the.

1076
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 10: Like the stereotype is that men are more focused on

1077
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 10: sex and want more sex, and women want less or

1078
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 10: it's less important to them. I don't think that's actually true.

1079
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 10: I think again, it's very hard to make generalizations, and

1080
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 10: it changes between like straight and queer couples, So it's

1081
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 10: really not necessarily about the biology. But I think typically

1082
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 10: there are different focuses for men and women, and then

1083
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 10: later in the relationship things change because I think later

1084
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 10: in the relationship the line between sex and intimacy gets

1085
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 10: very blurry, and I think generally everyone wants both intimacy

1086
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 10: and sex. Everyone wants it, and everyone wishes it for

1087
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 10: themselves and wants it in large quantities. Everyone needs it,

1088
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 10: but they focus on different.

1089
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 1: Things, and no one has energy for it.

1090
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 10: And no one has energy for it, and anyway, a

1091
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 10: lot of it is about wanting to feel desire of

1092
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:55,920
Speaker 10: some sort. That's really what it is, and not necessarily

1093
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 10: wanting you know, oh I need to have it three

1094
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 10: times times a week, or I need this, or I

1095
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 10: need that. It's a lot about the experience of desire

1096
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:09,600
Speaker 10: and being desired. That is really kind of the thing.

1097
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 10: We all want to be living in desire rather than

1098
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 10: living in a certain kind of deadness.

1099
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that self awareness is essential.

1100
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: Relationships challenge us to explore our patterns, and understanding those

1101
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 1: dynamics allows us to set boundaries, make healthier choices, and

1102
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:51,959
Speaker 1: build relationships that honor our value. Cody Sanchez dives into

1103
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 1: financial literacy, debunking myths about credit debt and the resources

1104
00:59:56,760 --> 01:00:00,160
Speaker 1: needed to start a business. For anyone who's ever felt

1105
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 1: overwhelmed by money, even small actions like opening a credit card,

1106
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: this will help you feel more confident in your financial decisions.

1107
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 1: Walk me through the myth about credit cards and debit

1108
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 1: cards that people can solve right now. Is there a

1109
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 1: special credit card they should be getting, Is there one

1110
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 1: that's better? What should they be looking out for? What

1111
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: does APR mean? You know? Walk me through the hidden

1112
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 1: things behying credit cards that we all feel stupid about.

1113
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: When you see an ad and you're like, I have

1114
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 1: no idea what that means.

1115
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's so true.

1116
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 1: You know.

1117
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 7: I had an employee, actually, Christian who's in from the

1118
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 7: UK too, and we were ridiculing him merstly actually, because

1119
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,479
Speaker 7: he only had a debit card to pay for things,

1120
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,200
Speaker 7: and I didn't even know that the UK was completely different.

1121
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 1: No, there are credit cards, but it's not he said.

1122
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:46,480
Speaker 7: It's not normal. I was like, you're a twenty eight

1123
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 7: year old man, you don't have a credit card, and

1124
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 7: he was like, you need to travel more Cody, and

1125
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,240
Speaker 7: I was like sorry, But then we got him a

1126
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 7: credit card so he could start establishing credit here. But

1127
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 7: more of the story is here's I think the couple

1128
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 7: first steps to financial freedom. You know, if you want

1129
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 7: to set up your kid for success, you actually want

1130
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 7: them to get a credit card really early. Doesn't so

1131
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 7: much matter what type of credit card. I'm not like

1132
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 7: the points guy, where I like to operationalize and optimize

1133
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 7: every aspect of a credit card. I think that is

1134
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 7: almost more work than trying to make more money. But

1135
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 7: I think if you go from any of the major banks,

1136
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 7: there are a lot of rules around credit cards, so

1137
01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 7: they're really not allowed to mess with you so much

1138
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 7: on interest rates. There's a lot of protections for consumers,

1139
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 7: so don't stress too much about which one, which one

1140
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 7: seems like it has some night perks for you and

1141
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 7: you can get the most amount of money that you need. Cool.

1142
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 7: So that's step one. And if you can do that

1143
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 7: for your kids when they're in high school, they will

1144
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 7: actually have more access to the first pillar I think

1145
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 7: of wealth, which is resources. We all know what's the

1146
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 7: saying takes money to make money, right, and so if

1147
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 7: you come from nothing, well you can start actually building

1148
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 7: up your resource pile just from your credit which you

1149
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 7: can start at a young age. You don't need to

1150
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 7: be rich to do that. And then after resources, you

1151
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,160
Speaker 7: pile on knowledge. Right, the rich pass on how to invest.

1152
01:01:58,400 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 7: We need to start doing that to our next generation.

1153
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 7: Then you pass on wealth accumulation. That's where you start

1154
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 7: to pile on your own money. And then finally you

1155
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:08,280
Speaker 7: pass on the ability to invest to continue to move

1156
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 7: cyclically your money around and make it work for you.

1157
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 7: But that's where I would start. It's like you start

1158
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 7: with a credit card. You have a debit card really

1159
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 7: just because you want to get cash out. Sometimes if

1160
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,200
Speaker 7: you go into the club and buying drinks or whatever

1161
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 7: people do these days, that are cool with me. And

1162
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,040
Speaker 7: that's where I would start, and then I would move

1163
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 7: to this next level of Okay, if I have some credit,

1164
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 7: now we need to focus on earning. So how do

1165
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 7: I make more money? But I think most people skip

1166
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 7: that first step because credit is scary. And like, listen,

1167
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:39,040
Speaker 7: Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett's partner, obviously very famous dude. But

1168
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 7: here's a line I love, which is mentally go broke

1169
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 7: by three things and it's whiskey women and leverage, and

1170
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 7: leverage means debt, right. Warren Buffett gave him a little

1171
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 7: adage to it at the end, and he goes, I think, actually,

1172
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:56,360
Speaker 7: what my friend meant to say was really just the

1173
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 7: last one. It's really just leverage. And Warren Buffett, one

1174
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,480
Speaker 7: of the richest guys in the world world, said he

1175
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 7: doesn't like debt. Here's the problem, Jay, He's highly levered.

1176
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:07,480
Speaker 7: He has a massive amount of debt. Why because he

1177
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 7: has debt on assets and other people's things as opposed

1178
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 7: to personal guarantees on his own. He's not mortgaging his

1179
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 7: house to buy these companies. He is raising debt on

1180
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 7: a company in order for it to make more money.

1181
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,280
Speaker 7: And so if you don't understand all that right now,

1182
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 7: that's where I want you to dive in a little

1183
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:26,920
Speaker 7: bit more, but you can start with a debitan into

1184
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:27,479
Speaker 7: credit card.

1185
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I think it's so important to understand debt.

1186
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:33,880
Speaker 1: And you see that when you see a celebrity buy

1187
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:36,880
Speaker 1: a new home and you've realized they borrowed to buy

1188
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 1: that home. They didn't buy it in cash, even though

1189
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 1: they have the cash and it's available to them. And

1190
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 1: I think that idea is so farg if someone's thinking

1191
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 1: about staying a business right now, or wants to grow

1192
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 1: a business, and the number one thing you hear is well,

1193
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 1: I don't have any money. I don't know how to

1194
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 1: fund it. How much do you actually need to start

1195
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 1: a business.

1196
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 7: I think you never suffer from a lack of money.

1197
01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:57,920
Speaker 7: You suffer from a lack of knowledge on how to

1198
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 7: get money. The richest people in the world they never

1199
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 7: use their own money entirely to buy things. And if

1200
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:04,960
Speaker 7: you can like sit on that for a second and

1201
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 7: let that sit in, then I think you can really

1202
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 7: open up your eyes to the fact that all around

1203
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 7: you there are deals right now, and there is money

1204
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 7: that is waiting for the actually rarest of things, which

1205
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 7: is a human who wants to work really hard and

1206
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:19,800
Speaker 7: has a good idea where to put the money. And

1207
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 7: so you actually don't need money to start a business.

1208
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 7: I don't think you need it at all. What you

1209
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 7: need is some access to it. And so you know,

1210
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,680
Speaker 7: next week I'm going to the SBA, the Small Business Administration,

1211
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 7: and they just ran out all of these new programs

1212
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 7: for new business owners where they will one do grants

1213
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,280
Speaker 7: where they give you money, and grant means you take

1214
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 7: this money, you don't have to give it back. The

1215
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:42,240
Speaker 7: government is going to give it to you, maybe because

1216
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 7: you're a minority or a woman or have a core

1217
01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 7: needs business. They also do a ton of loans. You know,

1218
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 7: they'll loan you ninety percent of the purchase price of

1219
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 7: a business if you need one. And all around us

1220
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:57,040
Speaker 7: are also people who want to invest. And so like

1221
01:04:57,080 --> 01:05:00,080
Speaker 7: there's a website called percent and on percent. I have

1222
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,160
Speaker 7: a small business and you need some debt for a

1223
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 7: small business, you can actually get debt from your small

1224
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 7: business through website. But I think the most important part

1225
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 7: is not just tactically, it's like, can I change my

1226
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 7: belief to believe that money is all around me and

1227
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,280
Speaker 7: I do not need to have only my own money.

1228
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:16,960
Speaker 5: In order to get rich.

1229
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 7: And I want more people to think that way. It's hard.

1230
01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 5: I get it.

1231
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 1: Do you think everyone needs a side us? Right now?

1232
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 7: I have two thoughts. One, I do not believe that

1233
01:05:24,080 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 7: you have to go all in on the thing that

1234
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 7: you want to do in life.

1235
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 5: I think that is.

1236
01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:30,680
Speaker 7: Told to you by people who had survivorship bias. Like

1237
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 7: it worked for me, so it's going to work for you.

1238
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 7: And what do we know to be true? Ninety percent

1239
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:37,640
Speaker 7: of startups fail over any five year period, and so

1240
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 7: I actually think that the way to never have risk

1241
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,560
Speaker 7: in building a business. If you want to do a

1242
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 7: startup and have no risk, I think you keep your job,

1243
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:49,840
Speaker 7: you do really well at that job while you're doing it,

1244
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 7: You use your salary to fund your side hustle or

1245
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:55,640
Speaker 7: your next venture. You keep moving forward on it until

1246
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 7: your side hustle matches the cost of living. That you

1247
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:01,360
Speaker 7: have your cash flow when you leave your business or

1248
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:04,160
Speaker 7: your job to go start your business once you have

1249
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 7: enough money from inflow of the business. And I think

1250
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:10,920
Speaker 7: we've told too many people and idealized this idea of

1251
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 7: entrepreneurship when in fact, you know I had three or

1252
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 7: four businesses fail. If I had just left my job

1253
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 7: that paid me good money, I would have been sleeping

1254
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 7: on somebody's couch. And so you can have a side hustle,

1255
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 7: but please keep it on the side for a minute

1256
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:27,800
Speaker 7: until you make sure it's not just a passion project

1257
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 7: it is a profit project.

1258
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:33,919
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, And I think that's dismist wisest advice. I'm

1259
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,320
Speaker 1: in the same boat. When I started doing what I

1260
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,959
Speaker 1: do today, I had a full time job. It didn't

1261
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 1: pay great, but it paid enough to get by. It

1262
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:43,680
Speaker 1: paid my bills. It means it means I wasn't creating

1263
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:47,680
Speaker 1: from a place of stress. And when you're creating something

1264
01:06:47,720 --> 01:06:52,080
Speaker 1: new from just stress, it can be quite dehabilitating. Now,

1265
01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:54,880
Speaker 1: sometimes stress can be the greatest motivator. It can propel you,

1266
01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 1: it can be your launch pad, but you've got to

1267
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 1: kind of get it right. Too much stress and you

1268
01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 1: fall apart. Too little stress and you stay in the

1269
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:04,960
Speaker 1: golden handcuffs. And I think that's where I see a

1270
01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:06,720
Speaker 1: lot of people stuck today. Is I meet a lot

1271
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:09,080
Speaker 1: of people who I feel have tied on the golden

1272
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:13,240
Speaker 1: handcuffs but not using that as the investment. So it's like,

1273
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:16,439
Speaker 1: I want to have a lifestyle with the money I make,

1274
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 1: I don't want to use it to build a new life.

1275
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that access and education, not

1276
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 1: just effort, create opportunity. Taking the time to understand resources

1277
01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:30,600
Speaker 1: and systems allows us to leverage them effectively and take

1278
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 1: control of our financial futures. Novak Djokovic reflects on the

1279
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 1: delicate balance of stress, motivation, and purpose even after reaching

1280
01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:43,360
Speaker 1: the pinnacle of tennis. He emphasizes that growth comes from passion,

1281
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 1: self awareness, and the desire to inspire others. And if

1282
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:51,160
Speaker 1: you've ever felt weighed down by pressure, his perspective shows

1283
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 1: how it can become a launch pad rather than a trap.

1284
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:57,280
Speaker 1: Do you feel like in your career you've achieved everything

1285
01:07:57,320 --> 01:08:00,040
Speaker 1: you set out to as a tennis player.

1286
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:03,920
Speaker 8: Yes, and more than that. And at the same time,

1287
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:06,960
Speaker 8: I still want to do more, And I know that

1288
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 8: that comes in a big part from a good place,

1289
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:14,600
Speaker 8: meaning from a place of purpose, inspiration, motivation, love for

1290
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:18,320
Speaker 8: the sport, passion for the sport, passion to make people

1291
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:21,439
Speaker 8: happy when they watch me. If I'm doing that, and

1292
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:25,760
Speaker 8: I have a feeling that I am, by still actively

1293
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 8: being on the tennis tour and having my tennis career

1294
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:32,679
Speaker 8: active tennis career, I'm still spreading that light by playing

1295
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:36,800
Speaker 8: tennis and inspiring younger generations. That's something that comes from

1296
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 8: a good place. But what comes from maybe I would say,

1297
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 8: not necessarily a bad place, but less of a good place.

1298
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:50,439
Speaker 8: I have identified that as well is my feeling of

1299
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:55,200
Speaker 8: not being enough, and that goes back to my very

1300
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:58,680
Speaker 8: very beginning of my life and my relationship, particularly with

1301
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 8: my father, and not doing enough, not being good enough.

1302
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:04,920
Speaker 1: Et cetera, et cetera.

1303
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:08,080
Speaker 8: So so now that I'm talking about I kind of

1304
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 8: get emotional about it because it's still deep inside of

1305
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 8: me and it's kind of the battle that I also

1306
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:17,799
Speaker 8: go through often because a lot of people, even closest

1307
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 8: people in my life, ask me, you know, what more

1308
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 8: do you want? You know, you have achieved everything. What

1309
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:26,200
Speaker 8: do you want? Why do you keep going? And I

1310
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,280
Speaker 8: tell them the good part that I told you that

1311
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:31,559
Speaker 8: I still really strongly feel it's inside of me, and

1312
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 8: I feel like as long as I have the capacity

1313
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:39,120
Speaker 8: or ability to compete for the biggest titles in my sport,

1314
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:42,840
Speaker 8: I want to keep going. And also partly the part

1315
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 8: that I didn't mention that inspires me to keep going

1316
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:52,360
Speaker 8: is to test my limits mentally and physically. Because when

1317
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:55,040
Speaker 8: I was starting to break through in the professional tennis.

1318
01:09:56,160 --> 01:09:59,240
Speaker 8: I remember when you reach your thirty you start counting

1319
01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:02,479
Speaker 8: your days to your retirement. Like after thirty, you know,

1320
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:05,760
Speaker 8: that's it pretty much, even though there were some exceptions,

1321
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:07,680
Speaker 8: like Jimmy Connor is the legend of our game. He

1322
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 8: played I think semi finals or finals of US Open

1323
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:14,000
Speaker 8: when he was forty you know, still still you know,

1324
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 8: dominating the tour. So there were very but very few exceptions.

1325
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:22,080
Speaker 8: Nowadays it's different. Why because I think the care for

1326
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:27,400
Speaker 8: the body has improved so much. I mean now not

1327
01:10:27,439 --> 01:10:31,680
Speaker 8: only top ten or fifteen guys or girls on the

1328
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:35,000
Speaker 8: tour have like multiple people in their squad to take

1329
01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:38,760
Speaker 8: care of them. You have top fifty people that are

1330
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:42,040
Speaker 8: taking care of them. It's due to the improvement, of course,

1331
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:45,120
Speaker 8: of the conditions for the players. And you know, we

1332
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,880
Speaker 8: earn more across the board, so it gives you, it

1333
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:51,160
Speaker 8: allows you to hire more people that would take care

1334
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:54,880
Speaker 8: of your body. And I think that it's also a

1335
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:57,680
Speaker 8: kind of a curiosity from my side, how how far

1336
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:01,519
Speaker 8: can I go? You know, I'm thirty this year, you know,

1337
01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 8: how long can I push my own limits? And I

1338
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:06,280
Speaker 8: don't feel like I do have limits, and I feel

1339
01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:10,160
Speaker 8: like the limits are normally constructs in our mind. I've

1340
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:12,960
Speaker 8: seen the episode you did with Brian Johnson the other

1341
01:11:13,040 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 8: day and then he talked about you know, he's, by

1342
01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 8: a lot of people's opinion, very extreme, but you know,

1343
01:11:19,920 --> 01:11:24,559
Speaker 8: he dedicated his own entire life to getting the data

1344
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:29,400
Speaker 8: and understanding what are the best conditions for the longest

1345
01:11:29,479 --> 01:11:32,840
Speaker 8: living life that he can have for himself, which I

1346
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:35,760
Speaker 8: think is something that is admirable, and you know, give

1347
01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:39,200
Speaker 8: him huge credit for that. And I understand because as

1348
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:42,479
Speaker 8: a professional athlete, you know, the care for your body

1349
01:11:42,479 --> 01:11:47,240
Speaker 8: and your mind and the devotion to the daily habits

1350
01:11:47,439 --> 01:11:51,439
Speaker 8: is so tough because when you want to change a

1351
01:11:51,479 --> 01:11:54,280
Speaker 8: certain habit, science says it takes at least twenty one

1352
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:57,320
Speaker 8: days right for the brain to start growing, you know,

1353
01:11:57,439 --> 01:12:01,760
Speaker 8: new neurons that are reprogramming. But if you don't have

1354
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:06,200
Speaker 8: the right environment, that's going to be very, very challenging.

1355
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:08,040
Speaker 8: So that was also one of the things that I

1356
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:11,560
Speaker 8: wanted to reflect on. And your question is the environment

1357
01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:14,640
Speaker 8: is the one that can be very stimulative to you.

1358
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:18,880
Speaker 8: It can be really supportive, or it can be pulling

1359
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 8: you down. So it's super important. Even though we always

1360
01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:27,800
Speaker 8: encourage ourselves to be independent in terms of what we do,

1361
01:12:27,880 --> 01:12:30,120
Speaker 8: what we eat, how we sleep, you know, how we

1362
01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:32,639
Speaker 8: lead our lives and what we do and how we

1363
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:35,439
Speaker 8: can live the best version of our lives possible. But

1364
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,680
Speaker 8: at the same time, we are social beings. We are

1365
01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:42,040
Speaker 8: very tribal beings, and even if it's the smallest community,

1366
01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:44,519
Speaker 8: we still want to belong to that community. We still

1367
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 8: want this community to support us, even if it's one

1368
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 8: person or two. But it's super important in the end

1369
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:53,080
Speaker 8: of the day because you know, making tough choices. These

1370
01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 8: are tough choices because society when you go out there,

1371
01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:58,840
Speaker 8: you know, super majority of the places where you go

1372
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:01,840
Speaker 8: to eat or people that you see, it's a kind

1373
01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:04,120
Speaker 8: of a vicious cycle and they lead their life in

1374
01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:08,559
Speaker 8: a certain way that maybe doesn't coincide or correspond to

1375
01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:11,280
Speaker 8: your choices that you want to make, the new choices

1376
01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:14,280
Speaker 8: or maybe the new changes. So it's really hard, you know,

1377
01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:16,920
Speaker 8: I mean, living in the big city and deciding you

1378
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:19,839
Speaker 8: want to go through transformational journey. On a daily basis,

1379
01:13:19,880 --> 01:13:23,240
Speaker 8: we're being exposed to something that is contrary to what

1380
01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 8: you're trying to achieve. I feel like it's reinventing yourself constantly.

1381
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:30,840
Speaker 8: You know, for me, I've had this kind of upbringing,

1382
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:35,960
Speaker 8: had the great foundation, and you know, I've achieved incredible things.

1383
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,120
Speaker 8: I was dreaming of becoming number one in the world

1384
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:41,519
Speaker 8: and becoming a Wimbledon champion, and that was my dream.

1385
01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:45,000
Speaker 8: I achieved that dream within two days. I won Wimbledon

1386
01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:47,600
Speaker 8: and at the same day became number one in the

1387
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:50,960
Speaker 8: world in twenty eleven, in front of my family, in

1388
01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:53,120
Speaker 8: front of President of Serbia, who was there. I mean,

1389
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:55,760
Speaker 8: it was with the welcoming of hundreds of thousands of

1390
01:13:55,800 --> 01:13:58,760
Speaker 8: people on the way back. It's just, you know, once

1391
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:01,960
Speaker 8: in a lifetime type of experience, and when you do

1392
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:04,720
Speaker 8: something for the first time, obviously that big. It's just

1393
01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:07,320
Speaker 8: like you're you're flying to the moon. I mean you're not.

1394
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:10,479
Speaker 8: It's a kind of an old, out of body experience.

1395
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:14,559
Speaker 8: But then I felt like I had to set new goals.

1396
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:18,320
Speaker 8: And because I was, you know, at the time twenty eleven,

1397
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,719
Speaker 8: I was twenty three years old, twenty four So okay,

1398
01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,320
Speaker 8: what do I do next? You know, I feel like

1399
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:25,400
Speaker 8: I'm a peak of my powers and I want it

1400
01:14:25,439 --> 01:14:27,439
Speaker 8: so so then I want to wear multiple slams, that

1401
01:14:27,479 --> 01:14:29,120
Speaker 8: I want to win all slams at once, that I

1402
01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:30,920
Speaker 8: want to win gold medal for my country, that I

1403
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:34,360
Speaker 8: want to make history and so forth. So I think

1404
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:39,240
Speaker 8: goal oriented mind, particularly in sports, but also in business

1405
01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:43,360
Speaker 8: or anything. Really, I think it's super important because the

1406
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:48,400
Speaker 8: clarity from my experience is something that is essential to

1407
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:51,920
Speaker 8: have also peace of mind and to have a calm heart.

1408
01:14:52,640 --> 01:14:55,599
Speaker 8: That you know what you're doing, and that you set

1409
01:14:55,680 --> 01:14:58,120
Speaker 8: your goals, your short term goals, your long term goals,

1410
01:14:58,120 --> 01:15:00,120
Speaker 8: and you know exactly the strategy that you need to

1411
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 8: implement to achieve them. And you surround yourself with the

1412
01:15:03,520 --> 01:15:07,000
Speaker 8: people who are supporting you, but also people who are

1413
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:09,720
Speaker 8: telling you what you don't want to hear, you know,

1414
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:14,040
Speaker 8: giving your constructive criticism or maybe giving you non constructive

1415
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:16,599
Speaker 8: criticism and then putting you very down. But that's also

1416
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:18,960
Speaker 8: part of the journey. It's also learning how to get

1417
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:22,719
Speaker 8: up like a phoenix and rise and try to develop

1418
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:27,080
Speaker 8: a thick skin, so to say. So it's a constant process. Really,

1419
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:32,240
Speaker 8: I don't see myself fully satisfied, if that's maybe a

1420
01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:35,840
Speaker 8: shorter answer, because I have that part of me which

1421
01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:39,559
Speaker 8: is like, you know, I think I can still do more,

1422
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:41,720
Speaker 8: but I'm at the other side of me is like,

1423
01:15:42,040 --> 01:15:44,759
Speaker 8: of course I'm fully said, I'm happy and I'm proud,

1424
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:49,040
Speaker 8: and in a way, I can't wait one day for

1425
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:52,000
Speaker 8: me to reflect on everything. But while I'm still in

1426
01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:55,080
Speaker 8: my active career, I don't have time. Tennis has the

1427
01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:58,920
Speaker 8: longest season of all sports, generally starts Genuary ends almost

1428
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,840
Speaker 8: end of November, and of course I earn my right

1429
01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:04,240
Speaker 8: in a way to be selective with tournaments where I play,

1430
01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:06,800
Speaker 8: So that's what I'm doing. I'm not playing as much,

1431
01:16:07,439 --> 01:16:10,760
Speaker 8: focusing on the big ones, and I'm trying to incorporate

1432
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:14,919
Speaker 8: all these other things inside of my career and basically

1433
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:18,880
Speaker 8: expand the platform and use my voice for other things

1434
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:23,400
Speaker 8: than just the tennis court. And I'm super blessed to

1435
01:16:23,439 --> 01:16:25,360
Speaker 8: be in a position that I am, But as I said,

1436
01:16:25,400 --> 01:16:27,479
Speaker 8: it's a constant journey and process.

1437
01:16:27,640 --> 01:16:31,240
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that purpose driven effort transforms

1438
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:35,599
Speaker 1: challenges into growth, whether in sport or life. Aligning motivation

1439
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:39,760
Speaker 1: with passion and community allows us to turn pressure into

1440
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:44,120
Speaker 1: performance and inspiration. Mel Robbins teaches us about the power

1441
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:47,680
Speaker 1: of our attention, energy, and boundaries. By letting go of

1442
01:16:47,720 --> 01:16:51,639
Speaker 1: the need to control others' perceptions, we reclaim our own

1443
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:56,360
Speaker 1: agency and how these small intentional choices in work, relationships,

1444
01:16:56,400 --> 01:17:00,559
Speaker 1: and self expression create meaningful change. It's so interesting how

1445
01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:06,439
Speaker 1: we think love is overcaring, but actually overcaring is over

1446
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 1: enabling that person and overwhelming that person.

1447
01:17:09,120 --> 01:17:10,160
Speaker 12: Yes, and it's control.

1448
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:10,960
Speaker 1: It's control.

1449
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:15,920
Speaker 12: You're not like if you think about what love really is,

1450
01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:19,719
Speaker 12: and for me, love is two things. It's consideration, right,

1451
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:23,880
Speaker 12: It's having someone in mind. If you pour in oat

1452
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:28,200
Speaker 12: milk instead of the cow milk because that's what they like,

1453
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:33,600
Speaker 12: that's an act of love. It's also admiration, and admiration

1454
01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:36,400
Speaker 12: is the ability to see something in somebody that you

1455
01:17:36,439 --> 01:17:39,200
Speaker 12: deeply admire. I want to go back to something that

1456
01:17:39,240 --> 01:17:45,040
Speaker 12: you said, though, because it was genius and it had

1457
01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:50,599
Speaker 12: me think about the idea of the power of your

1458
01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:54,479
Speaker 12: time and energy. And you were talking about imagine if

1459
01:17:55,240 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 12: like your time and your energy had dollars associated with it,

1460
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:03,639
Speaker 12: because I don't think we value it. And I started

1461
01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:07,000
Speaker 12: to think about one of the biggest obstacles because what's

1462
01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:09,479
Speaker 12: ultimately happening when you start to use let them and

1463
01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:11,240
Speaker 12: let me, is you're going to see that you've turned

1464
01:18:11,240 --> 01:18:14,719
Speaker 12: other people into a major problem. And you have turned

1465
01:18:14,760 --> 01:18:17,080
Speaker 12: them into a problem in four ways. First of all,

1466
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:18,680
Speaker 12: you allow them to stress you out, but you're not

1467
01:18:18,720 --> 01:18:20,120
Speaker 12: going to do that anymore because you're going to let

1468
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:23,680
Speaker 12: them be. But the second way that you've made them

1469
01:18:23,680 --> 01:18:27,040
Speaker 12: a major problem in your life is that you give

1470
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:32,720
Speaker 12: so much weight to other people's opinions. And in the

1471
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:36,880
Speaker 12: example you were just talking about what was happening is

1472
01:18:37,040 --> 01:18:40,840
Speaker 12: by asking you, what do you think Roddy was doing?

1473
01:18:40,880 --> 01:18:43,160
Speaker 12: What we all do, but most of us do it

1474
01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:46,719
Speaker 12: subconsciously and we don't even realize it, which is before

1475
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:51,000
Speaker 12: we even ask ourselves what feels right for us, we

1476
01:18:51,120 --> 01:18:54,320
Speaker 12: stop and consider what we think somebody is going to think.

1477
01:18:54,320 --> 01:18:56,720
Speaker 12: And you have that really brilliant thing that I've heard

1478
01:18:56,760 --> 01:18:58,680
Speaker 12: you say a bazillion times that I love. It's not

1479
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:00,400
Speaker 12: what you think, you think a think and I'm like, wait, whatit?

1480
01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:03,760
Speaker 12: But so I want to play this out because this

1481
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,920
Speaker 12: is so important. Was a huge thing for me. If

1482
01:19:06,960 --> 01:19:10,040
Speaker 12: you open up your favorite social media platform, we've all

1483
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:12,640
Speaker 12: had the experience where you go and you pick a

1484
01:19:12,640 --> 01:19:17,559
Speaker 12: photo and you then put it up and you're like, okay,

1485
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:19,920
Speaker 12: should a pfilter on this? And you start to then

1486
01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:21,519
Speaker 12: question is this the right photo? And then you go

1487
01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:23,240
Speaker 12: back to your photo role, and then you start working

1488
01:19:23,240 --> 01:19:24,679
Speaker 12: on the caption should I put emoji?

1489
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:26,120
Speaker 1: Is this too much? Should I do this?

1490
01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:32,519
Speaker 12: And then you are worried why because you're actually thinking

1491
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:35,880
Speaker 12: about what other people are going to think or do

1492
01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:39,160
Speaker 12: in response to what you're posting. Yes, which means if

1493
01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:44,560
Speaker 12: you take the value of it right, you just overvalued

1494
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:49,880
Speaker 12: something that you will never be able to control ever, ever, ever, ever,

1495
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:52,960
Speaker 12: and yet you're doing it subconsciously. And what typically happens

1496
01:19:53,040 --> 01:19:56,559
Speaker 12: is if you notice everybody's got hundreds of draft posts,

1497
01:19:57,920 --> 01:20:00,360
Speaker 12: you know what that is. That is a grave yard

1498
01:20:00,439 --> 01:20:03,519
Speaker 12: of energy. You waste it on something that you didn't

1499
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,160
Speaker 12: you'll never be able to control because the average person

1500
01:20:06,240 --> 01:20:09,800
Speaker 12: has seventy thousand random thoughts a day. You can't even

1501
01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:11,599
Speaker 12: control half the crap that goes in your own mind.

1502
01:20:11,920 --> 01:20:15,360
Speaker 12: So what makes you think any post is going to

1503
01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:19,479
Speaker 12: guarantee that any human being thinks anything? And the let

1504
01:20:19,520 --> 01:20:23,600
Speaker 12: them theory revealed to me Jay, how often I was

1505
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:29,640
Speaker 12: subconsciously valuing, oh, for sure, someone else and that like,

1506
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:30,559
Speaker 12: are they going to think negative?

1507
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:31,080
Speaker 1: They can think this?

1508
01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:33,280
Speaker 12: Is they going to think too much? And there's such

1509
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:35,439
Speaker 12: a simple way to change this. You just let them

1510
01:20:35,479 --> 01:20:36,240
Speaker 12: think negative thoughts.

1511
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:37,160
Speaker 1: That's it.

1512
01:20:38,479 --> 01:20:41,960
Speaker 12: The next time you catch yourself stopping to consider what

1513
01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:46,240
Speaker 12: you're going to post or what your colleagues might react to,

1514
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:48,800
Speaker 12: and that's what's keeping you silent, say to yourself, let

1515
01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:52,439
Speaker 12: them think negative thoughts, because that's what you're actually afraid of.

1516
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:55,639
Speaker 12: And so when you say let them think negative thoughts,

1517
01:20:56,120 --> 01:21:01,040
Speaker 12: something wild happens. You accept the reality that no matter

1518
01:21:01,080 --> 01:21:03,880
Speaker 12: what you do, it doesn't guarantee that anybody thinks anything.

1519
01:21:04,720 --> 01:21:07,040
Speaker 12: And then you say, let me And here's where this

1520
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:10,519
Speaker 12: gets really cool. Let me remind myself I can think

1521
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:12,400
Speaker 12: what I want, and I can do what I want.

1522
01:21:12,439 --> 01:21:14,720
Speaker 12: And your social media, in particular, as you and I

1523
01:21:14,760 --> 01:21:18,800
Speaker 12: both know, it's your self expression. That's what it's there for.

1524
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:24,400
Speaker 12: And if you can't allow yourself to express yourself there,

1525
01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:28,679
Speaker 12: then it's going to be everywhere where you edit yourself

1526
01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:32,519
Speaker 12: because you're not just letting people think negative thoughts. Sure,

1527
01:21:32,720 --> 01:21:34,960
Speaker 12: but if you operate in a way now and you

1528
01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:37,160
Speaker 12: now take the value, you take the money back. We're

1529
01:21:37,200 --> 01:21:40,879
Speaker 12: not going to pay Jay the money for his opinion.

1530
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:42,720
Speaker 12: I'm going to take the money back, and where I'm

1531
01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:45,160
Speaker 12: going to put the value is operating in a way

1532
01:21:45,160 --> 01:21:47,920
Speaker 12: that makes me feel proud of myself. Because when I

1533
01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:50,800
Speaker 12: operate in a way, whether I'm posting something, or I'm

1534
01:21:50,840 --> 01:21:52,720
Speaker 12: speaking in a meeting, or I'm showing up and not

1535
01:21:52,800 --> 01:21:57,519
Speaker 12: responding to my dramatic whatever, I'm proud of myself. And

1536
01:21:57,560 --> 01:22:00,680
Speaker 12: when you're proud of yourself, you don't even consider what

1537
01:22:00,720 --> 01:22:05,040
Speaker 12: other people are thinking, because you've just anchored all of

1538
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:10,680
Speaker 12: your worth inside of yourself. And that's why this is

1539
01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:13,479
Speaker 12: another reason why this is so unbelievably powerful.

1540
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:16,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, And the truth is, no one's thinking about you

1541
01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:18,960
Speaker 1: for as long as you think it's true. No one's

1542
01:22:18,960 --> 01:22:21,320
Speaker 1: thinking about you for as much as you think. No

1543
01:22:21,360 --> 01:22:23,760
Speaker 1: one's thinking about you as much as they even say

1544
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:26,360
Speaker 1: they're thinking about you. And we, just like you said,

1545
01:22:26,439 --> 01:22:29,719
Speaker 1: we keep draining that energy, consumed by it. You reminded

1546
01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:33,040
Speaker 1: me of the beautiful Charles Houghton Cooley quote, and he

1547
01:22:33,120 --> 01:22:36,759
Speaker 1: wrote this in eighteen ninety and he said, the challenge

1548
01:22:36,760 --> 01:22:39,439
Speaker 1: today is I'm not what I think I am. I'm

1549
01:22:39,439 --> 01:22:42,320
Speaker 1: not what you think I am. I am what I

1550
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:45,600
Speaker 1: think you think I am, which means we live in

1551
01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:48,679
Speaker 1: a perception of a perception of ourselves. So if I

1552
01:22:48,760 --> 01:22:53,680
Speaker 1: think mel thinks I'm not smart, then I don't think

1553
01:22:53,720 --> 01:22:56,679
Speaker 1: I'm smart. So it's not even reality. It's not even

1554
01:22:57,160 --> 01:23:00,799
Speaker 1: factually proven or checked or tested. By the way everything

1555
01:23:00,800 --> 01:23:04,160
Speaker 1: in the let them theory, this book is literally every thought,

1556
01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,080
Speaker 1: those seventy thousand thoughts. That's what you're addressing in this book.

1557
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:08,320
Speaker 12: And two words.

1558
01:23:08,320 --> 01:23:10,400
Speaker 1: It gets rid of this fear. Yeah, it literally does,

1559
01:23:10,520 --> 01:23:12,599
Speaker 1: because I was talking. I've talked to at least three

1560
01:23:12,600 --> 01:23:16,679
Speaker 1: friends this week, and all of them are concerned by

1561
01:23:16,840 --> 01:23:19,679
Speaker 1: either heyj I'm thinking about posting a video on social media.

1562
01:23:19,720 --> 01:23:22,080
Speaker 1: I'm scared of what people will think. So that's for

1563
01:23:22,120 --> 01:23:23,719
Speaker 1: their professional or their passion.

1564
01:23:23,840 --> 01:23:23,960
Speaker 2: Right.

1565
01:23:24,240 --> 01:23:26,920
Speaker 1: I've got another friend who's worried that a lot of

1566
01:23:26,920 --> 01:23:30,400
Speaker 1: our other friends are talking about him negatively, ok because

1567
01:23:30,439 --> 01:23:33,400
Speaker 1: he's recently fallen out with them, Okay, and so he's worried, like,

1568
01:23:33,439 --> 01:23:35,120
Speaker 1: what are they saying they're all talking to each other,

1569
01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:37,639
Speaker 1: what rumors are they spreading about me? Like, maybe it's

1570
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:41,120
Speaker 1: not true. And the thing that they're holding onto is

1571
01:23:41,160 --> 01:23:45,280
Speaker 1: they just can't let they can't let them, and it's.

1572
01:23:45,160 --> 01:23:45,760
Speaker 2: No, but they can.

1573
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:46,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1574
01:23:46,439 --> 01:23:47,679
Speaker 12: See I don't think they have the tool.

1575
01:23:47,880 --> 01:23:48,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1576
01:23:48,240 --> 01:23:50,479
Speaker 12: See, here's the thing. If you're worried that people are

1577
01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:53,760
Speaker 12: gossiping about you, let them, Let them gossip about you.

1578
01:23:53,840 --> 01:23:56,400
Speaker 12: Here's why you can't control it.

1579
01:23:56,400 --> 01:23:58,200
Speaker 1: It's gonna happen anyway, yes.

1580
01:23:58,760 --> 01:24:02,360
Speaker 12: And so if you can can't control it, why on

1581
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:07,400
Speaker 12: earth would you allow any time or energy to be wasted.

1582
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:12,240
Speaker 12: It's an act of self torture. So if you are

1583
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:14,599
Speaker 12: worried that people are gossiping about you, first of all,

1584
01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:18,120
Speaker 12: let them gossip about you, because they're going to do

1585
01:24:18,240 --> 01:24:20,360
Speaker 12: what they're going to do because you cannot change what

1586
01:24:20,400 --> 01:24:22,600
Speaker 12: other people do. You can't control what they think. You

1587
01:24:22,640 --> 01:24:24,599
Speaker 12: can't control what they do. If they're going to gossip,

1588
01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:27,559
Speaker 12: they're going to gossip, So let them gossip. And when

1589
01:24:27,600 --> 01:24:30,840
Speaker 12: you say that, it's a relief because you actually acknowledge

1590
01:24:30,840 --> 01:24:32,439
Speaker 12: the thing that you've been afraid of, and it's like

1591
01:24:32,439 --> 01:24:35,160
Speaker 12: you're allowing it without allowing it. But then, don't forget

1592
01:24:35,200 --> 01:24:35,920
Speaker 12: you have power.

1593
01:24:37,040 --> 01:24:37,840
Speaker 1: Let me.

1594
01:24:39,400 --> 01:24:41,599
Speaker 12: Remind myself that I get to choose what I think

1595
01:24:41,640 --> 01:24:45,439
Speaker 12: about myself. I get to decide what I do and

1596
01:24:45,479 --> 01:24:48,760
Speaker 12: what I don't do, whether or not I respond or not,

1597
01:24:49,720 --> 01:24:53,160
Speaker 12: and I get to decide who I spend time with.

1598
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:58,360
Speaker 12: And so the bigger question becomes if you're busy worrying

1599
01:24:58,439 --> 01:25:03,599
Speaker 12: about which means you're spending time energy. People who are

1600
01:25:03,640 --> 01:25:07,000
Speaker 12: gossiping about you, why would you want to be friends

1601
01:25:07,040 --> 01:25:11,280
Speaker 12: with them? And so now you take responsibility for your

1602
01:25:11,360 --> 01:25:16,559
Speaker 12: own part in chasing people that aren't treating you in

1603
01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:19,840
Speaker 12: a way that you deserve. Yes, and you recognize that

1604
01:25:19,920 --> 01:25:22,040
Speaker 12: the power here is in just letting people be.

1605
01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:23,519
Speaker 1: And when you let.

1606
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:27,680
Speaker 12: People be, your relationships get better because people reveal who

1607
01:25:27,760 --> 01:25:29,559
Speaker 12: they are and where you stand. And then you get

1608
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:33,000
Speaker 12: to choose how much time you spend or not. And

1609
01:25:33,040 --> 01:25:38,320
Speaker 12: not everybody in your life deserves an explanation, they don't

1610
01:25:38,439 --> 01:25:42,720
Speaker 12: deserve a response necessarily, and so you also get to

1611
01:25:42,840 --> 01:25:45,640
Speaker 12: choose who you tell your story to or who you

1612
01:25:45,720 --> 01:25:49,439
Speaker 12: apologize to, or how you respond to it. And that's

1613
01:25:49,479 --> 01:25:52,080
Speaker 12: where your power is. And I'm not saying this makes

1614
01:25:52,120 --> 01:25:56,360
Speaker 12: it easy, because you're probably in a situation like that

1615
01:25:56,479 --> 01:25:59,120
Speaker 12: going to have to say let them, let them, let them,

1616
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:00,920
Speaker 12: And then you're going to see them on social media

1617
01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:02,240
Speaker 12: and you're gonna be like, s welcome, Should I not

1618
01:26:02,280 --> 01:26:02,559
Speaker 12: back them?

1619
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:03,439
Speaker 1: Are they going to see if I do that?

1620
01:26:03,479 --> 01:26:05,160
Speaker 5: Should I'm not going to let them?

1621
01:26:05,600 --> 01:26:07,640
Speaker 12: Let them know their lives and if I want to

1622
01:26:07,720 --> 01:26:10,640
Speaker 12: unfollow them, let me do that, because I get to

1623
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:13,120
Speaker 12: choose what comes into my space or not.

1624
01:26:13,400 --> 01:26:16,080
Speaker 1: The key takeaway here is that your time, energy, and

1625
01:26:16,160 --> 01:26:20,439
Speaker 1: focus are valuable, protect them, use them intentionally, and don't

1626
01:26:20,479 --> 01:26:25,000
Speaker 1: let external validation dictate your actions. Once you make that shift,

1627
01:26:25,280 --> 01:26:28,680
Speaker 1: then you make space for freedom, growth and fulfillment to

1628
01:26:28,760 --> 01:26:32,040
Speaker 1: grow from within. As we close this episode and this year,

1629
01:26:32,240 --> 01:26:35,839
Speaker 1: remember this life is not about perfection. It's about presence.

1630
01:26:36,360 --> 01:26:40,400
Speaker 1: Growth is not linear, but every moment struggle draw your

1631
01:26:40,439 --> 01:26:44,799
Speaker 1: reflection is a step forward. The lessons are clear. Embrace

1632
01:26:44,840 --> 01:26:48,160
Speaker 1: failure as a starting point, Show up authentically in your

1633
01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:51,559
Speaker 1: relationships and life. Give yourself time to heal and grow,

1634
01:26:52,000 --> 01:26:56,040
Speaker 1: protect your energy, attention, and focus. Pursue your purpose with

1635
01:26:56,280 --> 01:27:00,000
Speaker 1: passion and courage. The past year has shaped us, challenge

1636
01:27:00,439 --> 01:27:03,880
Speaker 1: and reminded us of what matters. As we move forward,

1637
01:27:04,240 --> 01:27:08,240
Speaker 1: carry these lessons into your next chapter. You're capable, you're growing,

1638
01:27:08,600 --> 01:27:11,320
Speaker 1: and your life is a canvas to become your best self.

1639
01:27:11,520 --> 01:27:15,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If

1640
01:27:15,040 --> 01:27:18,439
Speaker 1: you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant

1641
01:27:18,720 --> 01:27:21,760
Speaker 1: on why discomfort is the key to growth and the

1642
01:27:21,840 --> 01:27:25,960
Speaker 1: strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you

1643
01:27:26,000 --> 01:27:28,599
Speaker 1: want to be more and achieve more this year. Go

1644
01:27:28,720 --> 01:27:30,040
Speaker 1: check it out right now.

1645
01:27:30,240 --> 01:27:32,920
Speaker 3: You set a goal today, you achieve it in six months,

1646
01:27:33,320 --> 01:27:36,320
Speaker 3: and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief.

1647
01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:37,920
Speaker 6: There's no sense of meaning and purpose.

1648
01:27:38,080 --> 01:27:39,800
Speaker 7: You sort of expected it, and you would have been

1649
01:27:39,800 --> 01:27:41,240
Speaker 7: disappointed if it didn't happen.