Speaker 1: Hey, are you flushing? What are you flushed in the toilet?
Speaker 1: Why is my septic constantly breaking down there?
Speaker 2: You'll have to ask Tammy that one.
Speaker 3: All right, toshha, Tosh, shut up, Tosh Show Show.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the final installment of Toss Show twenty twenty four. Man,
Speaker 1: that was a great year twenty four twenty twenty five.
Speaker 4: Wow. I can only imagine how great things are gonna
Speaker 4: get next year.
Speaker 5: You excited?
Speaker 4: I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. I'm
Speaker 4: about to lose control and I think.
Speaker 1: I like it. Oh, man a I paid up the
Speaker 1: other day. Oh my father in law, I lost to bet.
Speaker 1: You may remember on the show, how is Gator football
Speaker 1: looking this year?
Speaker 4: We're gonna do good this year. No, you're not, Yes,
Speaker 4: we are. You won't finish five hundred? Yes we will?
Speaker 4: How much? One hundred?
Speaker 2: Okay, you're on.
Speaker 1: He said that Florida was gonna have a great year,
Speaker 1: and I said they were gonna be garbage. We agreed
Speaker 1: that six and six was a push. They won their
Speaker 1: last three games. Now they're playing in some meaningless bowl. Anyway,
Speaker 1: he won. I gave him a hundred bucks. I said, Oh,
Speaker 1: congratulations on being mediocre. He's like, oh, it's gonna be great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Billy Napier for another year. Anyway, Greg won, Oh, he won.
Speaker 1: Kept talking about how great their draft class is gonna be.
Speaker 4: It's twelfth.
Speaker 1: Before we won those last three games, we were forty fourth.
Speaker 1: Now we're twelve. Let's see. Let's see if he answers
Speaker 1: his phone answer, Let's see what happens here.
Speaker 4: Hold, I'm gonna call.
Speaker 1: This, yes, sir, hey, uh uh I paid up on
Speaker 1: my bet?
Speaker 4: Correct?
Speaker 2: Yes you did?
Speaker 1: Oh and you and you're you're living high in the hog.
Speaker 1: What bowl game are you guys going.
Speaker 4: To be in?
Speaker 2: It looks like the Gator Bowl.
Speaker 1: Congratulations on the Gators making the shitty Who gives a fuck?
Speaker 4: Gator Bowl?
Speaker 2: What about one hundred bucks on that one?
Speaker 4: Who are they playing Syracuse? Yeah, I'll bet one hundred bucks.
Speaker 2: I'll give you a chance to win your money back.
Speaker 4: Then I want to go. Then I want to go
Speaker 4: triple or nothing on?
Speaker 1: Uh on next year getting a better record than seven
Speaker 1: and five.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm up for that. It'll happen.
Speaker 1: Oh you think it will definitely happen. Oh yeah, you
Speaker 1: think all those You think Texas, Georgia, Alabama, all those
Speaker 1: programs are gonna slip.
Speaker 2: No, we're just going to play normal Gator football again. No, indeed,
Speaker 2: in DJ, we.
Speaker 4: Trust your head coach is garbage.
Speaker 2: We love Billy? Do you fine?
Speaker 4: You love Billy?
Speaker 6: Do you love No?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm being corrected here. Yeah, that's the that's.
Speaker 1: You love Billy. You love Billy because he lost five
Speaker 1: times this year. That that is how far you have fallen.
Speaker 2: Exactly. If we win the bowl game, he'll be nineteen
Speaker 2: and nineteen since he's been there.
Speaker 4: No head coach should be paid money to be five hundred.
Speaker 2: Eight million a year.
Speaker 1: Eight million a year, that's what he gets. That's interesting,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, we'll go double nothing in the
Speaker 1: bowl game. All right, Hey are you flushing? What are
Speaker 1: you flushed in the toilet? Why is my septic constantly
Speaker 1: breaking down there?
Speaker 2: You'll have to ask Tammy that one.
Speaker 4: All right. I don't know what he is.
Speaker 1: Seriously though, every week something's wrong with the septic system
Speaker 1: just in their little guest house. He says, he's only
Speaker 1: putting toilet paper in the toilet.
Speaker 4: I don't know. My grinder's getting destroyed. That's such a
Speaker 4: gross word. Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's you know the sub pump that. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know what he's doing. There's floats in there. Alarms are
Speaker 1: going off every day. I'm having to run out to
Speaker 1: the guesthouse, shut alarms off.
Speaker 4: What are you doing in there? I've just did nothing.
Speaker 4: I think he's just got too much fiber in his diet. Eddie.
Speaker 4: Got any New Year's resolutions? Nope? Good, I only have one.
Speaker 1: I make one, the same one every year, don't shit yourself,
Speaker 1: And then every year I am disappointed. But this year,
Speaker 1: m it's gonna be my year. By the way, I'm
Speaker 1: not alone. Enjoy Pasha. On the count of three, we
Speaker 1: both tell say how many times we've shit our pants
Speaker 1: as an adult? Okay, one, two, three, thirty too many?
Speaker 5: I'm thirty. Probably i've shipped my pants a lot.
Speaker 7: Too.
Speaker 4: Really, Oh my god, I really think I have a problem.
Speaker 5: I should talk to a doctor about it.
Speaker 4: What do you do uh when you're performing? Uh? Like like,
Speaker 4: has it ever happened? Broadway?
Speaker 5: Like you're like, oh, no, One time I took a
Speaker 5: pee break on in the middle of a scene in
Speaker 5: the show once because I had to.
Speaker 4: I'm not talking about peek about diarrhea.
Speaker 5: Oh, I never have to ship on stage for some reason.
Speaker 4: We're talking about I thought you said you ship your pants.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just in daily life though.
Speaker 1: Right, But well, your stomach doesn't get upset and nervous
Speaker 1: before a performance ever, and you have to like empty
Speaker 1: everything out.
Speaker 5: Not that way.
Speaker 4: Oh good for you. You know you're not living my
Speaker 4: life at all.
Speaker 1: I've been on I've been on a toilet, just exploding,
Speaker 1: and I hear them introducing me and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not coming.
Speaker 5: That's devastating. So what do you do?
Speaker 4: Just let them deal with whatever they got to deal
Speaker 4: with out there.
Speaker 5: Show must go on.
Speaker 4: No it doesn't. The show doesn't go on.
Speaker 5: The show doesn't happen show.
Speaker 1: The show waits until I'm finished, right, And then and
Speaker 1: then I get out there, I'm like, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: was in the back.
Speaker 4: It's cocaine.
Speaker 5: And they all laugh, Oh the cokeshits. No I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't do cocaine, and I just say something stupid
Speaker 1: to move on. All right, But it's okay, But you've
Speaker 1: crapped yourself.
Speaker 4: That's good.
Speaker 1: When I text you that I have to then I'm
Speaker 1: we're gonna go surfing, but I have to poop first.
Speaker 4: How long does that mean, well, you spend a little
Speaker 4: time in there on the chair. How long? Yeah?
Speaker 7: Well, well you go a few times a day because
Speaker 7: I feel like every time I takes to you poop.
Speaker 1: No before I surf, I make sure I poop because
Speaker 1: I have to go at least twenty minutes.
Speaker 4: Fair enough.
Speaker 1: I've never been actually diagnosed with IBS, but I've shipped
Speaker 1: myself way more than I ever want to admit.
Speaker 4: So I need a schedule. I need to know what
Speaker 4: my day is going to be like.
Speaker 8: Not only was that not your second desert the day?
Speaker 4: Did you have dessert at lunch?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 4: I have dessert after each meal. Do you think that's
Speaker 4: why you shit your pants so much? Yeah?
Speaker 9: Like I remember when I was moving to Balbu and
Speaker 9: you were like, all right, so like here's the things
Speaker 9: you need to know, like this is where you go eat?
Speaker 9: And then you were like, and when you're on pH
Speaker 9: and if you.
Speaker 4: Got to go to the bathroom. All the porta potties
Speaker 4: are on the ocean.
Speaker 1: Rather, they're on the ocean side every every about almost
Speaker 1: every half mile, you can get a part man that
Speaker 1: one near winding trail which is on the other side.
Speaker 1: Happened to me, Thank god, it was opened at this
Speaker 1: hour one night because I I barely got inside of
Speaker 1: there before all hell broke loose and.
Speaker 9: I was sitting there like, why you tell me all
Speaker 9: the bathroom just I'm like most of us shit our pants.
Speaker 4: I'm like you and like my father law the only
Speaker 4: two people I know.
Speaker 1: Oh, your father laws ship his pants at you're at
Speaker 1: your not a wedding.
Speaker 4: It was that end.
Speaker 9: Cabo in Cabot skiving Thanksgiving. He shs his pants at
Speaker 9: the restaurant. It's the best. It was the best Thanksgiving ever.
Speaker 4: When did you become vegan?
Speaker 10: Probably like nine years ago, But it was because before
Speaker 10: the animal stuff, I just had a lot of digestive issues.
Speaker 4: Me too.
Speaker 10: When I was growing up, I would only poop like
Speaker 10: twice a week.
Speaker 4: It was awful.
Speaker 1: I used to do that too, Like I would like
Speaker 1: poop once a week. My mom said I'd get too
Speaker 1: distracted and I wouldn't poop, and then I get backed
Speaker 1: up and then I'd sit on the toilet for like
Speaker 1: two hours or is just screaming miss school that day.
Speaker 10: We're supposed to poop twice a day.
Speaker 4: H Well, now I poop just constantly.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 6: Well, it's not good.
Speaker 1: It's constantly and in public, not like not in a yes, okay,
Speaker 1: like a better version of in this recently I shattered
Speaker 1: a record.
Speaker 8: You might get arrested.
Speaker 1: No, no, you can't get arrested for pooping on the
Speaker 1: street in public. Yeah, if it happens, it happens. That's
Speaker 1: there's a law against having an accident.
Speaker 6: I mean, I guess a lawyer as an accident.
Speaker 8: But if you're always.
Speaker 1: Doing that, I'm not always doing it, but I'm saying
Speaker 1: I have I have ibs. And it's like recently it
Speaker 1: happened twice in one day.
Speaker 10: You might need to work on fixing your gut.
Speaker 4: No, I know, my gut's a wreck.
Speaker 10: Yeah, we should maybe talk about that.
Speaker 1: Well, like today just for this interview, Like I don't
Speaker 1: I really don't eat this morning until after this is over.
Speaker 10: You should talk to my husband why he does all
Speaker 10: digestive stuff. Oh man, he could do that, because that's
Speaker 10: that's disruptive to life.
Speaker 1: No, it is, but it's it's also a good story
Speaker 1: at every party.
Speaker 8: I guess if that's the most important.
Speaker 1: Maybe secretly I like the thrill of oh no, I'm
Speaker 1: about to ship myself once a week.
Speaker 10: Well, well, because you're getting rid of toxins.
Speaker 1: No, I think I like it because it allows me
Speaker 1: to tell my wife I can't go someplace.
Speaker 10: Well, maybe you need to work on that with your wife.
Speaker 10: Like if you don't want to go somewhere, it, don't go.
Speaker 1: And that's what I do. That's what I do ninety
Speaker 1: nine percent of the time. But in a relationship it's
Speaker 1: a give and take, so one percent of the time
Speaker 1: I have to give. I have a few small toilets
Speaker 1: that I have that I travel with. It's nice put
Speaker 1: that in your tent.
Speaker 6: Let's think through what my tent smells like with a bathroom.
Speaker 4: This thing's nice. This one's nice. It's got it.
Speaker 5: You just take a composting one or like, no, no,
Speaker 5: it's just a bag.
Speaker 1: Put put one of those chemical pills in it. That
Speaker 1: they can handle. A porta potty. It's only handling five gallons.
Speaker 1: You ever pooped your pants as an adult?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Probably once again I side effect of oh.
Speaker 1: It's posts the it's really got a lot of problems
Speaker 1: attached to it.
Speaker 4: You ever ship yourself as an adult?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 4: As an adult.
Speaker 11: I've never shipped myself, but I remember when I was
Speaker 11: in school one time I went to wipe, and a
Speaker 11: little got on my finger, and uh, and it got
Speaker 11: on my shirt and I had to go back to class.
Speaker 4: Oh man, and I had to like take on my
Speaker 4: shirt and like wash it, put it under the dry
Speaker 4: It's no good. That's no good at all. I mean,
Speaker 4: how old was this? It was probably about like twenty one,
Speaker 4: twenty two. Oh oh geez, Okay, all right, it's embarrassing.
Speaker 4: You ever have to take a huge shit on the
Speaker 4: side of the mountain all the time? You just do it.
Speaker 1: You ever gets stick to your stomach and just like
Speaker 1: that type of Yeah.
Speaker 12: No, I've had I've had a bunch of full on,
Speaker 12: one handed dumps south the side of the mountains where
Speaker 12: you're like literally hanging on the side of a cliff
Speaker 12: and you just hang on and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 12: I got poop.
Speaker 4: You carry some kind of wet wipes with.
Speaker 12: You generally have some TP in the bag just in
Speaker 12: case I'm good.
Speaker 4: You go to the bathroom. In your listings a lot
Speaker 4: pete poop. You pooped. You've never pooped in your listings.
Speaker 4: I would rather kill myself.
Speaker 6: Well, such an extreme no, no, that's so private for me.
Speaker 1: All right, Well then, you've got an amazing bowel control.
Speaker 1: But where do you draw the line? Because you're allowed
Speaker 1: to use the bathroom?
Speaker 6: Of course I know.
Speaker 4: I have I ever had sex and one of your
Speaker 4: listing are you allowed to?
Speaker 12: No?
Speaker 1: Why are you not allowed to have sex in their bed?
Speaker 1: You're allowed to use their bathroom? Why can't you use
Speaker 1: their bed? Have you ever pooped yourself as an adult?
Speaker 1: Like accidentally?
Speaker 8: Almost always?
Speaker 4: Almost always, always, But you haven't?
Speaker 8: I haven't?
Speaker 4: Fully, Yeah, shit your pants?
Speaker 13: No.
Speaker 8: Whenever I eat spicy food or wherever we're like driving,
Speaker 8: I have to always pull over at gas stations.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I can't see you. Fancy you at a
Speaker 4: gas station using.
Speaker 8: The Hi low I don't care. Okay, better than sitting yourself.
Speaker 4: Well, that's fair point.
Speaker 8: I have considered diapers you have. I think it's super smart.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, of course it's smart. If you have
Speaker 1: a problem, but you don't look as cute in diapers.
Speaker 8: Maybe you can get cute diapers. Maybe that's a new market.
Speaker 4: That's not there's no market for cute diapers for adults.
Speaker 1: That was the same tour that my manager, Christie Smith,
Speaker 1: ended up breaking rule one on the tour bus because
Speaker 1: she and She blamed it on the lobster, but we
Speaker 1: all ate the same lobster rules.
Speaker 4: And then all of a sudden, she was just blowing
Speaker 4: up the.
Speaker 1: Bathroom, flying down the highway. Oh, I was disturbing. I
Speaker 1: don't want to eat a rhubarb pie either, that's too much,
Speaker 1: it's overwhelming.
Speaker 7: Maybe discussing what it was mixed with strawberry No, no,
Speaker 7: not even okay, strawberry pie.
Speaker 4: So hey, what are you doing the rest of the day.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I'll be shitting. I just had a.
Speaker 1: Small slice of strawberry five, just so much. But then
Speaker 1: first I said, wait a second, I'm I'm taking all
Speaker 1: this this stuff, and I'm supposed to be shitty. My
Speaker 1: brain's out, and that hasn't happened. But I felt totally normal.
Speaker 1: So I asked my wife. I said, when does it
Speaker 1: say during this the you're gonna start pooping? And she
Speaker 1: said she looks it up shows Oh, it says between
Speaker 1: thirty and sixty minutes. And I'm like, oh, well, it's
Speaker 1: been thirty five minutes. I probably shouldn't take him for
Speaker 1: a drive right now. And then at thirty seven minutes,
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, oh, is that a fart. Nope,
Speaker 1: that's not a fart. So I ran to the bathroom
Speaker 1: and I had my first one. I was excited about
Speaker 1: it. It was the first one. Oh, just an explosion. I
Speaker 1: mean really, it really comes out fast. And now I
Speaker 1: have a bidet and I have my wet wipes, anything
Speaker 1: that I need. I'm this was my mistake. I probably
Speaker 1: was wiping too normal at the beginning, even though I
Speaker 1: was using a bidet and things like that. What I
Speaker 1: should have been more gentle, just almost padding, because toward
Speaker 1: the end of this prep it was sore back there.
Speaker 1: The bathroom situation. That's the nightmare. All these places.
Speaker 11: Yeah, a lot of work to keep those clean and
Speaker 11: ready for use.
Speaker 1: How many times do you go to the bathroom, And
Speaker 1: when I say go to the bathroom, I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about urine during this two and a half days.
Speaker 14: This time, probably a couple of times. It's you know,
Speaker 14: one of one of the secrets of my first finish.
Speaker 14: It was zero none is.
Speaker 1: Zero poop run. Yeah, you held it the whole two
Speaker 1: and a half days.
Speaker 4: I just I just didn't didn't need it. I guess
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 14: I was mostly on luck with calories and it never
Speaker 14: had the urge.
Speaker 4: And then what do you do?
Speaker 14: Do you just go, yeah, find a nice spot in
Speaker 14: the woods somewhere, or hold it for between loops when
Speaker 14: you can actually have the luxury of a nice bathhouse
Speaker 14: and toilet.
Speaker 4: You ever had like a little stomach issue?
Speaker 11: W we We're like, oh, I mean all the time,
Speaker 11: not all the way. I didn't even take that back,
Speaker 11: Not all the time, but I've definitely happen. Yeah, cauespecially
Speaker 11: when you're going up to altitude kind of quick the
Speaker 11: gas expand you know, like, you what do you do?
Speaker 11: You just white knuckle it. I guess just write it up.
Speaker 4: Never you've never hung out, you never know.
Speaker 11: No, that would be the end of my career.
Speaker 2: If I did that.
Speaker 11: They would hear about that.
Speaker 4: Who would hear about it. We'd hit bases.
Speaker 11: From Alaska to Lee County, Florida, they would hear about
Speaker 11: it everywhere.
Speaker 4: I'd see. That's that's why certain professions are off limits
Speaker 4: to me because of my stomach.
Speaker 2: You got a bad stomach, horrible stomach.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, I've never been really diagnosed, but I just
Speaker 1: have you know, years and years, decades and decades of
Speaker 1: every year knowing that I'm gonna ship myself at least
Speaker 1: once or twice.
Speaker 11: So you do that annually, you shit yourself?
Speaker 2: Would you say shit?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know, long since the days where it's actually in
Speaker 1: my pants. Now it's like I'm if I have to,
Speaker 1: I'm like running in the woods and you know, I'm
Speaker 1: on the pch.
Speaker 4: Climbing down a rock cliff and like hiding in a cove.
Speaker 4: That's my world.
Speaker 11: I thought you were just gonna say, like backstage at
Speaker 11: the Haha Factory or.
Speaker 4: Something like that, and I'm not.
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm above the ha Ha Factory. I'm
Speaker 1: over at the Chumash Casino. They got a dare you
Speaker 1: for beautiful green room bathroom. See, I couldn't go to
Speaker 1: space for my stomach. I have a pretty sensitive stomach.
Speaker 4: Little I b S.
Speaker 1: I just don't know how that would work up there.
Speaker 1: Explain to me what what you brought present?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, what let me get let.
Speaker 7: Me do this.
Speaker 4: Is it your high school diploma?
Speaker 6: No? No, this is a there was something about like
Speaker 6: something about you and and issues with your No?
Speaker 4: Is this actually used?
Speaker 6: You know, I know, but apollo a fecal bag here?
Speaker 4: Amazing? Yeah? Yeah yeah?
Speaker 6: And then actually this is the helper. So if you
Speaker 6: need to.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, oh, because you're so constantated and well
Speaker 1: and helping.
Speaker 4: So we thought that was from the penis.
Speaker 6: So we have we called it the safe separation anxiety.
Speaker 4: Why is this old? They're just old? What's this in here?
Speaker 4: Probably hold?
Speaker 6: I don't know what that is.
Speaker 4: So one of those things that says do not eat on.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I definitely don't need it.
Speaker 4: Hold on.
Speaker 6: So you do, you peel this off? It sticks to
Speaker 6: you afterwards. Now I just close it up.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, so just hold it to you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, so that would be So the station was
Speaker 6: a much more uh, I would joke in here better
Speaker 6: because it was just another plastic tube you would go into.
Speaker 6: We put gloves on because you everything floats and you
Speaker 6: have to then tend everything into the spot where you
Speaker 6: wanted to go.
Speaker 4: Again.
Speaker 1: They spend no time on these things that which I
Speaker 1: could come up with a better system than that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was cheap and easy, that's what it for sure.
Speaker 4: Why not like a light vacuum setting.
Speaker 6: That would be nice, but that was not happening.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, this but this is disturbing, Yes.
Speaker 6: It is, you know, I know it was Apollo, guys,
Speaker 6: I'm not really sure what they were doing, all right,
Speaker 6: some giky stuffing monsters up there.
Speaker 4: I don't even want to know. I don't even want
Speaker 4: to know what buzz was doing.
Speaker 6: Really, but this is the the US the station bathroom
Speaker 6: that actually, this is beautiful. That not a nice cans.
Speaker 4: No, that's exactly what you want to see. I mean
Speaker 4: that looks like a real bathroom. And we were just
Speaker 4: stand the pee.
Speaker 6: No you have there's a hose, but there was a
Speaker 6: hose coming out of here. You can just see this
Speaker 6: part of it right now here, right and it has
Speaker 6: a funnel on the end of it, and you just
Speaker 6: float and you just use the funnel.
Speaker 4: It's a wet BacT really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that makes more sense now now they're now
Speaker 1: they're getting it.
Speaker 6: If we do recycle though all the year and and
Speaker 6: condessate on board and you got wet wipes, oh got yes,
Speaker 6: you need what watch?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you weren't having to wipe dry. That's nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I have to admit the one, my urob, my biggest
Speaker 6: mistake I made in space happened right there?
Speaker 4: Is what your biggest mistake in space was?
Speaker 6: Yeah, so so talk about that wet back right, and
Speaker 6: you basically on the end of the hose, there's just
Speaker 6: a valve you turned on any degrease turns on the
Speaker 6: wet back.
Speaker 4: It does a little pretreat.
Speaker 6: Into the system so that it can help process the
Speaker 6: ear later and stuff like that. And you know, you
Speaker 6: wait a few seconds and then you can use it
Speaker 6: like no big deal.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 6: Well I went in there one time distracted and I
Speaker 6: forgot to turn on and uh, I still grab it
Speaker 6: and I'm still using it. And I realized, like, you know,
Speaker 6: wait a minute, I don't hear you. Oh and and.
Speaker 4: Now is urine just floating around the way.
Speaker 6: Well, I look down this This is where I got
Speaker 6: the stupid part of it going in there. As I
Speaker 6: looked down because I thought, like a check real quick,
Speaker 6: I look down, and sure enough, there's a large sphere
Speaker 6: of urine, you know, kind of between me and this
Speaker 6: hose right down here. And and but what I do
Speaker 6: is I stupidly I like jolted, I jumped and went
Speaker 6: like like that, which all I did was create little
Speaker 6: ones floating out. Yes, So then I turned on the
Speaker 6: on the hose and then I'm trying to chase them down.
Speaker 6: That's what I'm going. But I don't get all of them
Speaker 6: and they get on the walls, and so I spent
Speaker 6: the next half hour cleaning up the walls of the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I mean, as far as big mistakes go, that's not bad.
Speaker 1: I would I probably would have pained that whole shuttle
Speaker 1: at some point. The other day, Uh, my son and
Speaker 1: I were in the pool and my uh my daughter
Speaker 1: was running around the deck, uh without any without a
Speaker 1: diaper on. She's you know, she's young, she's one, but
Speaker 1: she was naked. And then, uh my son and I
Speaker 1: were watching her. You know what, we gotta watch her
Speaker 1: clothes because uh, she doesn't back into things. She just
Speaker 1: goes straight off. And was like, all right, and now
Speaker 1: you're dead. Uh so you have to watch and you
Speaker 1: have to be prepared to sprint.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: Anyway, she's walking around and she stops, and we're like
Speaker 1: and she just stares at me, just looks right in
Speaker 1: my eyes, like just beautiful blue eyes, just stares at
Speaker 1: me and just shits just a huge shit, one big, solid,
Speaker 1: long turd. And I'm like, oh my goodness, and my
Speaker 1: son is like ah ah, and then I go, well,
Speaker 1: now it's really a poop deck oh oh. That both
Speaker 1: of us chuckled for so long anyway. Then we scream,
Speaker 1: uh right, Carl. We scream, we said, mom, get a
Speaker 1: boot bag. Our daughter just crapped on the deck. And
Speaker 1: then she goes, she turns around and runs inside. She's
Speaker 1: laughing a little bit. And and then I look at
Speaker 1: my son and my son goes, oh no, Dad, And
Speaker 1: I go what, And the poop is gone, oh no, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I go what and my son goes, I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't get it out of my head. Carl just
Speaker 1: came up and ate it. Carl, admit it. You ate
Speaker 1: my daughter's poop, A whole turd in one bite, just
Speaker 1: walked up, snatched it and walked away.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 4: But that how?
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you do? I don't I remove
Speaker 1: his teeth. I don't know what to do. I brushed him,
Speaker 1: I wiped his mouth down, but nothing.
Speaker 4: It was fine.
Speaker 1: It's bread smelled fine. I don't even think he showed it,
Speaker 1: just devoured to turn. I gotta live with that for
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. My son was traumatized. He
Speaker 1: just kept saying, I can't, I can't stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1: How gross is expressing anal glands, because it honestly sounds
Speaker 1: like the.
Speaker 4: Worst thing is it?
Speaker 7: It's exceptionally disgusting.
Speaker 4: What do you actually do?
Speaker 7: You stick your finger in the butt and then use
Speaker 7: your thumb to squeeze the gland between your finger and
Speaker 7: your thumb that they live sort of in the muscles
Speaker 7: of the anish huh, and squeeze gently so that the
Speaker 7: material inside it again gets squished out ideally into a
Speaker 7: paper towel or tissue with a glove on. The problem
Speaker 7: is sometimes it squirts aggressively and can get places that
Speaker 7: you don't want it and smells terrible, and if it
Speaker 7: it just gets on you, the smell is there for
Speaker 7: the day.
Speaker 2: You can't wash it.
Speaker 4: How often do you need to do this?
Speaker 5: I never do this.
Speaker 4: How often does a dog need to Oh? I have it?
Speaker 7: That's a great question. Most dogs, as they poop, it
Speaker 7: expresses the ana glands normally, so they shouldn't have stuff
Speaker 7: in there all the time. You know some people have
Speaker 7: it done once a week for their dogs.
Speaker 4: Once a week.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but you know, if it happens at my hospital,
Speaker 7: I asked my technicians to do that. That is not
Speaker 7: something I do.
Speaker 4: Can I do it at home? Can I learn how
Speaker 4: to do it?
Speaker 7: I know a lot of people who do it at huh.
Speaker 4: Oh, my goodness, Carl got a new game.
Speaker 1: If he doesn't need it, it's probably not necessary to
Speaker 1: put my fingers in his butt, that's correct. What about
Speaker 1: people that are into that weird? Uh uh, this is
Speaker 1: gonna get disgusting, but yes, let's just say poop people
Speaker 1: that are in like, is it poop play?
Speaker 4: Is that a thing? Whatever?
Speaker 8: The thing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you you have to sit there and act like
Speaker 1: this this is acceptable? What you're saying, Oh, you're into this,
Speaker 1: it's okay.
Speaker 13: Why wouldn't it be okay?
Speaker 4: It's disgusting?
Speaker 13: Yeah, Look, excrement can be really gross. We're all conditioned
Speaker 13: to think E E E and like, disgust serves a
Speaker 13: very So.
Speaker 4: He doesn't like it. Carl's I was like, you're about
Speaker 4: to talk about although he's eight before.
Speaker 13: Yeah, Carl's like, Daniel, you're like speaking out of your
Speaker 13: lane here.
Speaker 4: Fair enough, fair enough, Carl, I apologize all right.
Speaker 13: People like it for different reasons. Some people enjoy that
Speaker 13: kind of play because it is gross and they like
Speaker 13: to lean into the disgust element or the humiliation element.
Speaker 13: Some people like it because they want to reclaim something
Speaker 13: in themselves. You know, everyone's different and the important thing
Speaker 13: to remember. Whatever the kink is that somebody's doing, it's
Speaker 13: a metaphor for something that they're trying to experience in life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's just that's just some fucked up parents. That's
Speaker 4: that's all it is.
Speaker 1: You just got to tell them to get out of
Speaker 1: your off and also, duh, it just you clean the couch.
Speaker 1: My son and a friend over, they were playing in
Speaker 1: the pool. I was swimming with them. They're both physically
Speaker 1: attacking me. Then my wife's like, ah, your daughter wants
Speaker 1: to get in. So you know, when you're fighting off
Speaker 1: two five year olds in a pool, it's not better
Speaker 1: than having to hold a one year old the whole time.
Speaker 1: So that's what I'm doing anyway. Yeah, that part of
Speaker 1: the story doesn't matter. Then we take my one year
Speaker 1: old is done, she wants out, take her out, take
Speaker 1: her swim diaper off. She's walking around, My wife's going
Speaker 1: to get a diaper, and then she poops right in
Speaker 1: the living room. The doors are open up to the
Speaker 1: pool area. She poops in the living room on the rug,
Speaker 1: and they're like two very dark, very dry. She's not
Speaker 1: getting enough water.
Speaker 4: I guess.
Speaker 1: Round they coming out really round, like just slightly smaller
Speaker 1: than a baseball, bigger than a golf ball. Okay, there's
Speaker 1: two of them. Boom, boom, gonna be a very easy
Speaker 1: pick up and clean. My wife immediately steps in one
Speaker 1: barefoot steps in, It goes between her toes. She starts
Speaker 1: freaking out. Then she's like walking on her heel to
Speaker 1: go get something to pick it up. I go, don't
Speaker 1: go pick it up, go clean your foot off. Clean
Speaker 1: your foot off first, then pick up these these two balls.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, then she goes and cleans her foot.
Speaker 1: Then she comes back and she goes, guys, bad news.
Speaker 1: There's only one left. Yeah, got anything to say for yourself?
Speaker 1: You ate another nugget? Just coprophagiat it? She just boom gone,
Speaker 1: just ran in said, oh, here's a here's an unattended turd.
Speaker 4: I'll take that. Why'd you eat it? I had to
Speaker 4: brush your teeth.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile with my my son's friend and his mom are
Speaker 1: just watching this whole thing, like what is happening in
Speaker 1: your house?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, this is what we do. We step in, poop, dogs,
Speaker 4: eat it. We all laugh at each other. Good times.
Speaker 1: Pasha, Tam, I am I right, Carl, We've done some
Speaker 1: disgusting things. But this year twenty twenty five, oh no
Speaker 1: pooping the whole year. You don't eat poop, and I
Speaker 1: keep it in the toilet, not in my shorts.
Speaker 4: That's our goal. What do we got here? You want
Speaker 4: me put the glasses?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 4: See that? Hello?
Speaker 1: Check out our boyswortpink dot com, tossshowstore dot com and
Speaker 1: our tours at Daniel Tosh dot com and Eddie Gaisling
Speaker 1: dot com. You get it allth dot COM's go check
Speaker 1: them out now. Our last free plug of twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four you ready call you?
Speaker 4: Hear that music? It's building, it's building. Look at that ah?
Speaker 1: Oh that just makes you want to plug all right?
Speaker 1: January first, twenty twenty five. That's tomorrow, from six thirty
Speaker 1: to ten thirty, the Walla Walla High School class of
Speaker 1: twenty fourteen will be having his ten year reunion at
Speaker 1: the Wallawalla Alex Lodge number two eight seven. Ten years, Eh,
Speaker 1: it's too early. You don't need to be catching up
Speaker 1: on anybody in ten years. I go ten years out
Speaker 1: seeing family members and I don't even act like it's
Speaker 1: a big deal.
Speaker 4: Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: Organizers promised a tastefully plant rager, but remind all alumni
Speaker 1: that they should plan to go hard like it's twenty
Speaker 1: fourteen at Calhoun's, which I believe is a reference they
Speaker 1: said to a twenty four hour gym in Walla Walla. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Tickets to the event are forty dollars. Dress codes casual.
Speaker 1: There will be a mechanical bowl and live music. A
Speaker 1: food truck will be serving up urban Mexican cuisine.
Speaker 4: I don't even know what that.
Speaker 1: Means, no idea, that sounds racist, urban Mexican cuisine. Can
Speaker 1: you talk a bunch of street tacos?
Speaker 4: Huh? All right, whatever, it's Walla Walla. You know how
Speaker 4: they are up there.
Speaker 1: A bartender will be on hand serving up drinks for
Speaker 1: purchase for everyone that didn't get enough booze the night before.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's tough. That's stuff.
Speaker 1: You're going New Year's Eve and then your ten year
Speaker 1: reunion the next day, free parking for all attendees and
Speaker 1: as an adults only evening. What it's the ten year
Speaker 1: reunion you're telling me in Walla Walla, these guys have
Speaker 1: already started families.
Speaker 4: Doesn't check out? Maybe does? Maybe people are like, oh,
Speaker 4: you don't know, Walla Walla you get Walla Walla.
Speaker 1: You have a family early, I don't know, so all right, well,
Speaker 1: Walla Walla, congratulations enjoy that tomorrow night. As a special
Speaker 1: bonus for this episode, you guys, we've combiled a second
Speaker 1: mashup of the moment every episode that everyone really tunes
Speaker 1: in for. So without further ado, please enjoy Happy New Year.
Speaker 1: Get this off my desk. Get your head off my desk, Pasha,
Speaker 1: We've got to get that off my desk. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: gotta set that down or something.
Speaker 8: We gotta go like, I'm gonna set it down, please,
Speaker 8: I mean.
Speaker 4: I don't have a staff, all right, put that on floor.
Speaker 4: You can't get this one. Yeah, you keep that's yours.
Speaker 4: I want you to put that on in your cell.
Speaker 5: I agree with you.
Speaker 4: Okay, now get that off my desk please.
Speaker 6: It's lovely.
Speaker 4: You're gonna want to give that to people so much.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to put that on the floor. I
Speaker 1: don't want that on the desk. The dog, my dog
Speaker 1: can't get pregnant either. Get this off the desk, please,
Speaker 1: I got more stuff coming.
Speaker 4: Hold on, we get get this, get this spatch loft. Okay, okay,
Speaker 4: all right, get that off my desk. Please, this is
Speaker 4: a heavy ass.
Speaker 1: Uh stand well yeah, yeah, we'll scratched my beautiful table.
Speaker 1: I just got this table enough. You put that on
Speaker 1: the floor. You can put that on the floor. Please
Speaker 1: get this off my desk off. I don't want it's
Speaker 1: on my table. Get this off my desk. I'll push
Speaker 1: this down over there. Yeah, it's fine. Just shove it off.
Speaker 1: It'll be fine. Okay, But that that needs to go too,
Speaker 1: But don't. I don't want to shove it off. If
Speaker 1: you set that down at your gift, Yes, you're gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna carry.
Speaker 4: That home for you.
Speaker 11: God, I am coming out here with a hall.
Speaker 4: Get this off my desk. Sure, get that off my desk.
Speaker 2: Get that off the desk.
Speaker 4: You gotta keep the bike. Yeah, you keep the bank.
Speaker 1: Put them get them off the table, you keep my diploma.
Speaker 1: Get it off my table. Set that on the floor.
Speaker 4: Can you get your huge gatorade thing? It's it's too big.
Speaker 2: I know that.
Speaker 4: No, I don't know. I have dripped.
Speaker 1: Oh man, if I get up too quickly, put that
Speaker 1: on the floor. Get this off my table. You get
Speaker 1: it off the desk. Just throw on the floor.
Speaker 4: All this on the floor. That's get this off my
Speaker 4: fucking table. Gen Z man, they just get that off
Speaker 4: my table. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna get this off
Speaker 4: my table. I don't I can't fit this in my house,
Speaker 4: but you'll find a place for it. It'll be great,
Speaker 4: it'll be great. Okay, good god.
Speaker 1: Dude, you can just set that all on the ground there.
Speaker 1: That doesn't matter, all right, take take that off. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna love it. It's not pick a ball. It's
Speaker 1: this put on the floor. But that's your paddle. Now
Speaker 1: you're gonna have trouble with those. You'll like them. Thank
Speaker 1: you for getting that off the table.
Speaker 4: This is the last interview that I'm doing with this table. Wow.
Speaker 1: So I'm giving you this table. I don't know where
Speaker 1: you're gonna put it, but this table is now yours.
Speaker 13: That is just so generous.
Speaker 14: Thank you.
Speaker 4: So I need you to take this with you. Get
Speaker 4: your get your get my mug off your table.