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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: Hi.

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Speaker 3: What day is it today?

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Speaker 4: Today's Thursday, because our podcast comes out on Thursday. Yes,

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Speaker 4: and I have some very exciting news for our listeners.

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Speaker 4: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went

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Speaker 4: on sale this week. It's called the Height and Mighty Tour.

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Speaker 4: I will be starting debuting my new material. Well I've

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Speaker 4: already started debuting my new material, but in an organized

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Speaker 4: tour form in February of next year. So I'm coming

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Speaker 4: to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,

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Speaker 4: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,

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Speaker 4: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,

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Speaker 4: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,

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Speaker 4: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Medeesta, California, and

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Speaker 4: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

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Speaker 3: I will be touring.

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Speaker 4: From February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in.

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Speaker 4: Pre sale started last week, so tickets are flying. I

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Speaker 4: haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be

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Speaker 4: to some of these, So go get your tickets now

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Speaker 4: if you want good seats and you want to come

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Speaker 4: see me perform, I will be on the High and

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Speaker 4: Mighty tour.

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Speaker 1: Yay, fantastic.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: What do you have going on this weekend?

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Speaker 3: This weekend?

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Speaker 4: Well, last weekend was more interesting because I got home

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Speaker 4: Friday night at five in the morning. I went to

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Speaker 4: go see The Who at the Hollywood Bowl, which was fun,

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Speaker 4: so much fucking fun. He's eighty one years old, Roger Daltrey.

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Speaker 4: He's a fucking nugget. I was in love with him.

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Speaker 4: Of course had my LSD so that was like had

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Speaker 4: me pumping and he was just so just vivacious. I

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Speaker 4: couldn't believe this guy is eighty one years old. And

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Speaker 4: Pete Townsend and it was just so fucking fun, fun

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Speaker 4: going to the Hollywood Bowl.

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Speaker 3: We had a great.

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Speaker 4: Time and then we went out to another party. So

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Speaker 4: I got home late that night, around three. Then the

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Speaker 4: next night I went to Paris Hilton's party, which I

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Speaker 4: thought was a birthday party. But it was a housewarming

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Speaker 4: party to a house I'm pretty sure I've been to before,

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Speaker 4: so I'm not really Anyway, that was a really fun

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Speaker 4: night too, and then I ended up going to another

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Speaker 4: party after that and I was out until six.

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Speaker 3: In the morning. I mean this wild woman.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this is like me living in my thirties again.

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Speaker 4: And then on Sunday i'd to cancel like I got

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Speaker 4: a there's a uh what are those massages where they

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Speaker 4: kind of go into your you know, the drainage at emphatic? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I had my Karen was texting me saying, your messuse

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Speaker 4: is here. I'm like what, I'm like, I just got

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Speaker 4: to sleep. No, thank you, Please pay her and tell

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Speaker 4: her I'm sorry. And then canceled about three more things,

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Speaker 4: and then I went to my friend DJs and she

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Speaker 4: made us all dinner for a Sunday night, so lovely.

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Speaker 3: It was a very jam packed weekend. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I am going to the Hollywood Bowl actually for the

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Speaker 2: first time in years this week or no tomorrow to

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Speaker 2: see Pulp.

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Speaker 3: Oh. I saw that met Glassenberg did.

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Speaker 1: Were the right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like one of my favorite, all time favorite

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Speaker 2: bands and I've never seen the moment.

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Speaker 3: They were amazing. Oh I'm jealous. When are they playing Friday?

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Speaker 1: So it's yeah, it's tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: I'm heading to h Away for the weekend, so I

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Speaker 4: won't be able to go to the Hollywood Boat, but

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Speaker 4: I would have gone back for them.

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Speaker 3: No heck, yeah, yeah for sure.

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Speaker 4: Our guest today is best known for her roles on

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Speaker 4: The Flight Attendant and Girls. She's here to talk about

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Speaker 4: her very new book, Does This Make Me Funny? Please

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Speaker 4: welcome actor and writer Zasha Mammot. Hi, Hi, Katie Pie.

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Speaker 3: How are you?

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Speaker 1: What shake? And bacon?

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Speaker 3: What Shake?

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Speaker 4: And Zasha Mammett is here with us today. She's here

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Speaker 4: promoting her new book. This is not her first book.

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Speaker 4: This is her second book because she wrote, well, a

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Speaker 4: kind of a cookbook.

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Speaker 3: And a kind of a memoir.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, well, it was an anthology, so like,

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Speaker 1: I didn't entirely write it myself. I got I, like

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Speaker 1: hoodwinked a bunch of other really smart, talented people to

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Speaker 1: write it for me.

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Speaker 3: That's what I do when I get bored with anything.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, how do I continue this without actually contributing?

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Speaker 4: But this book you did write yourself, and this is

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Speaker 4: more of a memoir, I would say, right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that word makes me want to like pull my

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Speaker 1: teeth out one by one.

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Speaker 4: But yes, does it make your vagina close tight? When

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Speaker 4: things really annoy me, my vagina starts to hurt or shut. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: just like, why why do you hate the word memoir?

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Speaker 1: I feel like I don't like deserve to have written

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Speaker 1: a memoir.

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Speaker 4: I guess, Okay, well that's a great place to start,

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Speaker 4: because this whole book is basically you not believing you

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Speaker 4: deserve anything, which is before you got on. Catherine and

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Speaker 4: I were talking about you, comparing it. She was saying

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Speaker 4: it's generational, and I was missing. I was like, no,

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Speaker 4: it's it's it's your whole generation that doesn't feel deserving

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Speaker 4: of things. And she's like no, she was talking about

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Speaker 4: your father, who's David Mammott, of course, having it. And

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Speaker 4: I was like, isn't that intergenerational. That would be like

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Speaker 4: the whole family doesn't feel like they're enough.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sure.

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Speaker 3: But I think it is both things.

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Speaker 4: It's intergenerational and generational. If we're getting down to the

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Speaker 4: brass tacks of things, see, it's all of the above.

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Speaker 3: It's all of the above.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, it's a book of essays, and that's a better

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Speaker 4: way to describe it. That's how I describe my books

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Speaker 4: as well, because I've written so many that how could

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Speaker 4: it possibly be a memoir?

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Speaker 3: Even though each one is.

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Speaker 4: They are just essays and stories that I want to share,

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Speaker 4: which this book does.

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Speaker 3: And the book is called does This Make Me Funny?

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Speaker 4: And there's a really really adorable picture of you on

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Speaker 4: the cover as a little girl. So I want to

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Speaker 4: talk about you calling yourself a b minus NEPO baby

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Speaker 4: at best. I want to talk a little bit about

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Speaker 4: Nepo babies because I.

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Speaker 3: Just had this conversation.

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Speaker 4: I went to the US Open and Jessica Pagoula, who

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Speaker 4: was playing at the US Open. I don't know if

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Speaker 4: you're familiar with her. She's a great tennis player. She

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Speaker 4: made it to like I guess, the semi finals. Her

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Speaker 4: father is some big magnate of some business. I'm not

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Speaker 4: sure which one. He's a billionaire though right. He had

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Speaker 4: come into the US Open on his mega yacht to

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Speaker 4: watch her at the at the finals, and and there

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Speaker 4: were people talking about that, and I was with my

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Speaker 4: trainer talking about it, and he goes, it makes me

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Speaker 4: so crazy that anyone could say, think that you could

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Speaker 4: get to that level just because your father has money,

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Speaker 4: And I said, well, it's about money and access, But

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Speaker 4: at the end of the day, you have to have

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Speaker 4: the talent to sustain your ability to get more than

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Speaker 4: one job. If you're going to base that on one job,

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Speaker 4: it's not like your parents. You're in every movie with

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Speaker 4: your fucking father, you know, and every show with your father.

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Speaker 1: Look like Jessica Springsteen had parents who could allot her

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Speaker 1: the opportunity, but like Bruce Springsteen did not get her

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Speaker 1: to the Olympics.

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Speaker 4: Also, like Bruce Springsteen sings and she rides horses.

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Speaker 3: So it's so fucking and like.

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Speaker 1: Maybe my family is like slightly closer together, but like

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm and I now have written a book, but

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Speaker 1: like I certainly wasn't doing exactly what my dad did.

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Speaker 3: No, And also, nepotism doesn't replace talent.

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Speaker 4: People aren't going to continue to hire somebody because of

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Speaker 4: their parents.

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Speaker 3: Like that's just not the way that it works.

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Speaker 4: When there's other people that could be more talented if

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Speaker 4: they if they could hire them, they're hiring them a favor.

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Speaker 4: It happens once, it doesn't happen over and over and

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Speaker 4: over again. And also with regard to Jessica, like there's

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Speaker 4: this background story when she had withstood like major back injuries,

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Speaker 4: major rehabilitation, major like things that went awry earlier in

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Speaker 4: her career that she had to recover from, and also

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Speaker 4: you know, have a determination to actually improve upon and

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Speaker 4: get better and better.

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Speaker 3: So arguably she had to fight even harder.

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Speaker 4: And what I would say is, in my experience in

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Speaker 4: this business, I find that people who have famous parents

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Speaker 4: like yourself, actually many times have to work harder.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting. I was having that conversation with Billy Lord

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Speaker 1: recently and we're talking about how love Billy. I think

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Speaker 1: she's the best ever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's so great.

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Speaker 1: But like, there is this misconception that we are handed

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Speaker 1: it so easily and that we don't have to work

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Speaker 1: hard for it, and people forget that you do actually

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Speaker 1: have to be good at what you're doing. And so

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Speaker 1: I think people often try to create higher, harder, more

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Speaker 1: obstacles for us because they've like they're like they have

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Speaker 1: a chip on their shoulder about it.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, that's what I think, and it's not a blanket statement.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure there are some celebrity kids that you know,

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Speaker 4: maybe aren't that talented that are getting more opportunities than others.

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Speaker 4: But you almost have to prove yourself even more because

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Speaker 4: people are like, oh, well, you're not just gonna fly

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Speaker 4: by on your mother or your father's name.

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Speaker 3: You actually have to prove yourself.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure that this isn't the case for everybody,

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Speaker 1: But like Billy and I were talking, really it's not

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Speaker 1: as if our parents were like, here's a fully financed

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Speaker 1: movie with a leading role for you that's gonna hopefully

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Speaker 1: win you and Oscar, Like they were not helping us

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Speaker 1: in any way, Like my dad never gave me a job.

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Speaker 1: My dad never told someone else to give me a job.

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Speaker 1: Like you know, we were just saying, our parents aren't

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Speaker 1: just handing out legs up you know, here, there and everywhere.

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Speaker 1: We happened to have maybe access, And I honestly think

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Speaker 1: the greatest thing that growing up in a famous family

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Speaker 1: in the industry allotted me was knowledge, Like I just

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Speaker 1: got to see what it was actually like, so I

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Speaker 1: went into it without any misconceptions.

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Speaker 3: But that's also another point.

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Speaker 4: It's like, if you have two parents that are in

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Speaker 4: the industry of entertainment, it's not like you're going to

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Speaker 4: be attracted to plumbing and you're gonna say, oh, I

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Speaker 4: want it, or accounting or any of the other vocations.

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Speaker 4: It's natural for children to have two parents that are

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Speaker 4: in some industry to also become a person that is

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Speaker 4: in that industry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, even if their lawyers are a plumber.

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Speaker 3: Like you said, get very defensive on your behalf. I

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Speaker 3: hope you can. I hope you can feel my aggravation.

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Speaker 1: Fantastic.

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Speaker 4: I sound like I'm an EPO baby, but I wanted

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Speaker 4: to be an EPO baby.

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Speaker 3: That would have been a dream come true for me.

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Speaker 4: But no, Okay, this is something that that you talk

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Speaker 4: about in the very first chapter or the introduction of

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Speaker 4: your book that I just want to read on the

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Speaker 4: podcast because I thought it was so fucking bold and

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Speaker 4: great and such a thing that a man could do.

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Speaker 3: She's talking about her dad.

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Speaker 4: And he walked in to a producer in Chicago with

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Speaker 4: a copy of his first Broadway play, American Buffalo, and

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Speaker 4: without a penny to his name. He threw the play

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Speaker 4: down on the producer's desk they had hard copies in

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Speaker 4: those days, and said, if that play doesn't win the

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Speaker 4: Pulitzer Prize, I'll pay you five thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: It did not, but the next one did.

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Speaker 4: The brazenness of that and the confidence of that is like,

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Speaker 4: it's what I want for every woman to feel.

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Speaker 1: I know, it's pretty crazy, right, like never a day,

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Speaker 1: never a day in my life, or if I did

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Speaker 1: that immediately followed by an apology.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I mean, we still say we're sorry if

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Speaker 4: we cough, yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I could get to the point of doing it, and

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Speaker 1: then the second I had finished being like I am

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Speaker 1: powerful woman, hear me where I'd be like, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 1: That was really inappropriate. I didn't actually I'm I'm going

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Speaker 1: to leave your lunches on me, like yeah.

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Speaker 4: I also hate when we say I'm sorry. When we

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Speaker 4: start to cry, we always go i'm so sorry. It's like,

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Speaker 4: why why are we sorry that we're crying we're feeling emotions.

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Speaker 2: When we correct someone else's mistake, it's like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: but this is actually no.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, don't know, I know, I know, there's so much

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Speaker 4: there's too much material to talk about that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, please, sorry, but you're reading that book upside down.

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Speaker 1: I'm really sorry, but.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, you say something here on this is something

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Speaker 4: I talk a lot about on this podcast, whether it's writers, actors.

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Speaker 4: If you say I didn't yet have the career I want,

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Speaker 4: and I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about

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Speaker 4: women my age who do and wishing them not harm

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Speaker 4: per se, but maybe hoping that they change their names

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Speaker 4: and move to Siberia for a few years and give

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Speaker 4: me a shot at bat for a while. To most people,

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Speaker 4: I've had a very successful career, for which I am

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Speaker 4: intertally grateful.

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Speaker 3: I would like to talk about jealousy a little bit

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Speaker 3: and envy.

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Speaker 4: Because I also feel like that is a healthy, normal

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Speaker 4: feeling for anyone in any any part of the world.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't matter what industry you are in to feel

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Speaker 4: there is nothing wrong with feeling envy. It's acting on

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Speaker 4: envy where things become problematic. So I love that you

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Speaker 4: wrote that in the book. Do you want to talk

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Speaker 4: a little bit about that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think that it's normal. I think it

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Speaker 1: would be weird if we didn't feel that way. I

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Speaker 1: do think that it can reach an unhealthy, abnormal level

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Speaker 1: in this industry, specifically amongst women, because I think we're

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Speaker 1: fed this idea in the entertainment industry. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't know I guess, being women in general in any industry,

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Speaker 1: that there's a finite amount of pie to be had,

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Speaker 1: and so if someone else gets a piece of it,

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Speaker 1: that means that there's less for you. And I just

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Speaker 1: don't think at the end of the day that that's

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Speaker 1: actually accurate. I think that that's untrue, and like, if

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Speaker 1: you want to get really heavy, part of me is like,

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Speaker 1: is that a deep seated move on the patriarchy, because

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Speaker 1: like if we were to all band together, we would

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Speaker 1: just be too fucking powerful to like kind of pit

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Speaker 1: us against each other.

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Speaker 3: I think that's absolutely true. I mean that's the whole

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Speaker 3: point of it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, because women are just now coming to the

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Speaker 4: realization that we're stronger together, you know, and that all

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Speaker 4: ships do rise with the tide.

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Speaker 1: I think that's really accurate. I think they all I

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Speaker 1: have to say out a lot, but I think this

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Speaker 1: is an industry that is so success oriented, Like it's

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Speaker 1: you're not getting brownie points for the script you wrote

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Speaker 1: that didn't get produced, you know, like, and the most talented,

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Speaker 1: nice person doesn't always get the job, and so I

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Speaker 1: think it can foster a sort of unhealthy comparison game.

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Speaker 1: I was just gonna say comparison. Yeah, and so I

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Speaker 1: think I think that it is healthy to a certain extent.

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Speaker 1: I think it is one thousand percent normal. But I think,

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Speaker 1: specifically in this industry, I do a lot of work

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Speaker 1: trying to check myself of just like mem it, stay

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Speaker 1: in your own lane, Just stay in your like stop

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Speaker 1: doing this, and just like stay in your own lane.

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Speaker 4: You have a pretty heartbreaking chapter in here about school

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Speaker 4: as a young girl and going to school because your

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Speaker 4: parents split up before you were even a year old,

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Speaker 4: and then you were living in Cambridge initially, right, and

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Speaker 4: then you moved with your mother, and then that created

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Speaker 4: some separation between you and your dad, and then they

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Speaker 4: both went on to have other children and other families.

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Speaker 4: So your first kind of formative years at school were brutal.

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Speaker 4: It was kind of, you know, really triggering to read,

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Speaker 4: because I mean, we've all been there, you know, and

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Speaker 4: some worse than others, but yours sounded like you withstood

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Speaker 4: that trauma for as long as you possibly could and

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Speaker 4: then had to say I can't do this anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like too long looking back on it. But

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Speaker 1: also I was a kid and I didn't know I

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Speaker 1: didn't really know that I could say that, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: it got to the point where I was unable to

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Speaker 1: handle it. Like those all the kids, but I think

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Speaker 1: those girls in particular were really They just seemed to

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Speaker 1: live to make my life miserable.

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Speaker 4: Tell why don't you tell us the story about the

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Speaker 4: birthday party and revealing being invited to the birthday party

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Speaker 4: and having to call and find out what time it was.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, this is like a perfect example. They

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Speaker 1: would pull this shit all the time. They would sort

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Speaker 1: of lure me into asking a question about some things.

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Speaker 1: They were talking about something in front of me, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, are you guys talking about They

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Speaker 1: were like, oh, we're talking about I forget what I

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Speaker 1: renamed the d's birthday party. Yeah, And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: when is it? They were like, it's on Saturday. It

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Speaker 1: was like what time. They're like, we're not sure. You

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Speaker 1: should call her and ask what time it is, like

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Speaker 1: she hasn't told any of us, so we're waiting to

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Speaker 1: find out. And I was like, okay, great. So then

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Speaker 1: I go home and I call Evie and I'm like, hey, Evy,

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Speaker 1: all the girls were talking about your birthday party on Saturday,

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Speaker 1: and they told me to call you and ask what

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Speaker 1: time it is? What time is it? And then she

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Speaker 1: started hysterically sobbing and hung up the phone. And then

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Speaker 1: I get a call from a bunch of the girls,

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Speaker 1: you know, a couple of minutes later, chastising me for

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Speaker 1: ruining Evie's surprise birthday party. So they would just set

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Speaker 1: these traps for me. Mind games, one thousand percent mind games.

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Speaker 1: They were full like Machiavellian. These young little blonde ladies,

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Speaker 1: I mean, young little.

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Speaker 3: Girls are brutal.

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Speaker 4: And for every woman here who's listening to this podcast,

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Speaker 4: like anyone who has children, it is so important to

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Speaker 4: teach your children kindness and compassion and not to be bullies.

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Speaker 4: Like I've had friends whose daughters have been billies and

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Speaker 4: they were in complete denial about it because they chose

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Speaker 4: to believe their daughter was a bully.

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Speaker 3: It is so important. I mean, it is tortuous when you.

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Speaker 4: Are young and in defend like you don't know how

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Speaker 4: to defend yourself, and you don't know where to go

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Speaker 4: or who to talk to, and you know, it leads

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Speaker 4: to so many problems in life. And for like, I

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Speaker 4: saw this beautiful video yesterday on Instagram of this boy

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Speaker 4: wrestling at this wrestling match, and he was wrestling this

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Speaker 4: kid who had cerebral palsy, whose.

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Speaker 3: Team allowed him to compete.

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Speaker 4: You know, at this level, they were looked like they

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Speaker 4: were in sixth or seventh grade. And the kid from

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Speaker 4: the other school immediately recognized, you know, how easy it

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Speaker 4: would be to beat this kid, and he sat there

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Speaker 4: with him and let him, like slowly, slowly help this

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Speaker 4: guy wrestle him to the ground so that he would

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Speaker 4: win that match. And every comment was like, whoever raised

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Speaker 4: this boy did such a beautiful job, Like, and that's

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Speaker 4: what I think about with regard to bullying. It's like

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Speaker 4: your parents have to be paying attention to how their children,

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Speaker 4: especially young girls, because they are brutal. And I know

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Speaker 4: that we have problems with young boys too, but girls

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Speaker 4: are just so mean to each other, and like, you

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Speaker 4: cannot have your child behaving that way. And it's very

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Speaker 4: illustrative in this book of what you went through, so

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Speaker 4: I think people are going to really like you know,

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Speaker 4: I know I went through somehow growing up too.

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Speaker 3: And then you end up becoming a bully.

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Speaker 4: You either end up retreating and having an eating disorder,

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Speaker 4: this disorder, you know, having no self esteem, or you

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Speaker 4: end up becoming the bully that bullied you in order

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Speaker 4: to defend yourself. So your story is also great because

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Speaker 4: that woman or that girl at the time, who's named

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Speaker 4: Evie in the book, comes to see.

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Speaker 3: You during were You? Was it the play on Broadway?

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Speaker 3: When she came with her father?

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Speaker 1: We were off Broadway? Was the play that I met

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Speaker 1: my husband doing. We were doing it at the Littel.

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Speaker 3: And tell us what happened she came.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I left one night and the security guard

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Speaker 1: told me that someone had left a note for me

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00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 1: while we were on stage. I and he gave me

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Speaker 1: the note. And I hadn't thought about this girl. It's

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Speaker 1: in over a decade, and I guess she and her

404
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 1: dad had been walking by the theater and they had

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Speaker 1: seen my name on the marquee and they'd written a

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Speaker 1: note and left it with the box office. And it

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Speaker 1: was in her like you know, little curly cue scirwl

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Speaker 1: and she's like, oh my god, Sash, We're so proud

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Speaker 1: of you. And it just made my blood run cold.

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Speaker 1: It like took me back to being that little girl

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Speaker 1: with her playing these horrible nine games on me, and

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Speaker 1: it made me so angry because I think that feeling

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Speaker 1: pride for someone innately involves a type of ownership is

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Speaker 1: the wrong word, but like you had a hand in that.

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Speaker 1: When you're like, I'm so proud of you, it normally

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Speaker 1: means that like you have a deep connection to that person,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you had a hand in them accomplishing whatever

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Speaker 1: this thing was. And it made me so deeply furious.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you don't get to be proud of me.

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Speaker 1: You don't get to have that. And I tore up

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Speaker 1: the note and I ground it into the New York

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Speaker 1: sidewalk with my boot.

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Speaker 3: So you don't know that they saw the play, you

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Speaker 3: just did? They didn't.

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Speaker 1: It literally just walked by and saw my name on

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Speaker 1: the marquee, which also I was just like, that's okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It wasn't even like they paid for

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Speaker 1: and bought a ticket and came to see what I did.

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Speaker 4: Right exactly, Let's talk about your eating disorder. And I

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Speaker 4: say that in an upbeat tone for no reason whatsoever,

431
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Speaker 4: but just because I'm assuming that you're out of the

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Speaker 4: woods on that issue, Am I correct?

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Speaker 1: Now? O? Good?

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Speaker 3: You talk a lot.

435
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Speaker 4: About this and about this number in your head, one

436
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 4: hundred pounds, one hundred pounds that.

437
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 3: Was the right weight.

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Speaker 4: And even when you went underneath one hundred pounds to

439
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 4: ninety two pounds to ninety three pounds, you were sick,

440
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 4: you were using drugs, you were partying, you were escaping.

441
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 4: Talk to us a little bit about that for the

442
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 4: people that are listening, with children and girls that are

443
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 4: experiencing that that are listening.

444
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: You know, I think the biggest misconception about an eating

445
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 1: disorder is that that it's about the weight and that

446
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 1: it's about the food, which, like, obviously, yes, that is

447
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: an aspect of it, but at its core, it's about control,

448
00:21:55,080 --> 00:22:00,479
Speaker 1: and it's born from this need to control when you

449
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: feel out of control, and so food and your weight

450
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: feel like these very tangible things, when like the thing

451
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 1: that probably is making you feel out of control is

452
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: not tangible whatsoever. Like for me, it was my circumstance,

453
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 1: my surroundings, the kids that I was in school with,

454
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: my home life, and so my anxiety eating disorder brain

455
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 1: latched onto this number that felt like if I can

456
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 1: just achieve that number, then all of these feelings of

457
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: fear and worthlessness and sadness will go away and I

458
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: will finally feel safe. But obviously that wasn't true because

459
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 1: I hit that number and none of those feelings went

460
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: away and I didn't feel safe, and so I was like, Okay,

461
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 1: well maybe it's still that number, but I just have

462
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: to try harder. It's like your brain starts to make

463
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: excuses as to why the thing you've decided is the

464
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: answer is still the answer, when obviously it very much isn't.

465
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 1: And so I just kept trying to reach one hundred pounds.

466
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: It was a sort of amorphous goal in my mind

467
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: that seemed like the silver bullet to all of my problems,

468
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: and it really wasn't. It was actually just slowly killing me.

469
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 4: And how did you finally come out of that? Did

470
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 4: you go into treatment?

471
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 1: I almost went into in treatment. I didn't, And honestly,

472
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: looking back on it, I do not envy a parent

473
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: who is dealing with this. I can only like it

474
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 1: was obviously hard for me. I think it was so

475
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 1: much harder for my dad to feel helpless as well

476
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: on the other side of it. And I'm sure it

477
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 1: is so hard to put a kid in treatment, and

478
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: he tried, and I fought back really hard, and I

479
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,719
Speaker 1: honestly wish that I had, because I think my recovery

480
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 1: would of taken is law, you know. I think in

481
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: treatment programs are there for a reason. But really I

482
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 1: have my dad to credit with finally turning the ship around.

483
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 1: I was really in a bad way. I'd seen a

484
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: lot of doctors who basically were like, you are You're dying,

485
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 1: that's what's happening. Like your body is disintegrating and you're dying.

486
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 4: And how brittle your bones were that they told you, like,

487
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 4: you know, if you fell down, you could potentially break

488
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 4: your pelvis like that. You had just had no nutrition.

489
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: No nutrition, Yeah, I had. I had arthritis. I couldn't

490
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: ride horses anymore. I could like barely walk up a

491
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: set of stairs like I had. I had issues with

492
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 1: my heart. It was it was really bad. And my

493
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: dad came home from a dinner party one night where

494
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: he'd sat next to someone whose daughter had recently gone

495
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 1: through the same thing and had sort of come out

496
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 1: the other side, and he ended up opening up to

497
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: her and she talked to him for the whole dinner party,

498
00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: and she gave him the number of this woman who

499
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 1: then become my therapist, who was incredible and fully saved

500
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: my life. But he came home and I was up

501
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 1: reading in my bedroom and he came into my room

502
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: and he sat on my bed, and my dad, as

503
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can imagine, is like a very strong,

504
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: oftentimes very stoic person, and I'd never seen him cry,

505
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: and he started crying and he put his head in

506
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: my lap and he said, you have to promise me

507
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: that you won't die, and you just kept saying it

508
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: over and over again. And it was the first time

509
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 1: that I realized that what was happening to me wasn't

510
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: just about me, and it was really my wake up call.

511
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 1: And I realized that if I died, it wouldn't just

512
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: affect me, it would also affect him. And I was like, Okay, well,

513
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that to him. I don't

514
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: really care about me yet, but I don't want to

515
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 1: do that to him. Yeah.

516
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 3: Wow, that's really moving.

517
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,479
Speaker 4: It's amazing when you know somebody can say something like

518
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 4: that to you and it has the impact that is

519
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 4: strong enough to make you quit the thing, or to

520
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 4: make you understand that you have to quit the thing

521
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 4: that is going to destroy you and destroy the lives

522
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 4: of the people that love you. Yeah, okay, let's talk

523
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 4: about some let's talk about girls. Let's talk about getting

524
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 4: that role and working with Lena and how that experience

525
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 4: changed your life. I mean, first of all, best fucking

526
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 4: show ever, so great, so fucking awesome. I mean I

527
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: remember watching that show the first time. I was like,

528
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 4: this is going to be a huge because I think

529
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 4: I was interviewing Lena.

530
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 3: Probably on Chelsea Lately or maybe my other talk show.

531
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 4: And I so I saw it before it was out

532
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 4: and I got to watch the whole series. I was like,

533
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 4: this is going to be fucking huge, And of course

534
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 4: it was because it was just exactly what everybody needed.

535
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 4: It was like your generations, Sex and the City just

536
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 4: such a coming of age in New York City, so funny,

537
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 4: so well cast, all of everybody in it was incredible.

538
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 4: So tell us about getting that part. How that happened.

539
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: I was shooting this movie. This is like truly terrible

540
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: indie film in upstate New York with horrible conditions, like

541
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:16,160
Speaker 1: you know, nineteen twenty hour days all told in we

542
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: were meant to be cheating early September, and it was

543
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: late October and it was the coldest October on record.

544
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,159
Speaker 1: It was so cold that the farmers were all like

545
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: there will be no pumpkins for Halloween because our crops

546
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: have frozen. So it was like some sort of record

547
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: breaking cold. And I was always basically ninety percent of

548
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: the movie was exteriors, and I was always in this

549
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 1: tank top trash bag dress. It was like literally a

550
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: dress made of trash bags that I had to get

551
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: ironed into every day, which is really, looking back on it,

552
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 1: like should have been my first sign that this was

553
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 1: not going to be a good experience because I was

554
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: like literally wearing trash And I got this audition. We

555
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: were shooting six day weeks, so I had one day off,

556
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: and I convinced this young pa not to go to

557
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: church with her husband and her newborn baby and instead

558
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 1: stay behind and help me film this audition in our

559
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 1: production office, which was an abandoned barn that had very

560
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: bad WI FI. And I'm pretty technologically inept, so we

561
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: filmed the audition. It takes me like seven hours to

562
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,199
Speaker 1: get the tape to send to my agent, which almost

563
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 1: doesn't happen. At like hour three or four, I was like,

564
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: I give up, I can't get this to send to

565
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: keep saying your file is too large, and he was like, please, please, please, please,

566
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: I really need your tape. I think this show is

567
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: going to be a really big deal. So I finally

568
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: get in my tape. I end up getting the job.

569
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: We happen to have the Monday off that the table

570
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: read is scheduled for in Manhattan, And at this point

571
00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: I've developed pneumonia from these long days shooting in the

572
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: colds in my trash back dress. But the producers have

573
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: paid off a local doctor to tell me that I

574
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: just have a head cold so that I can keep working.

575
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: They pay How did you find that out the PA's talk,

576
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So the woman who was

577
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: like the PA that I spent the most time with

578
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: ended up giving me the skinny. Also, I sort of

579
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: put it together anyways, because she kept showing up and

580
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: listening to me, like breathing, and literally it sounded like,

581
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: you know, like a water cooler in my lungs. There

582
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: was so much fluid. And she would be like, just

583
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: take some echinesia, and I was like, I feel like

584
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 1: we're beyond that.

585
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, achanesia.

586
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 4: And it's like when people talk about melotonin, it's like place.

587
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 5: Yeah.

588
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: I was so sick. I was like at Death Store.

589
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: I would cough so hard i'd throw up like it

590
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: was not cute. So I came in that Sunday night

591
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 1: before and I stayed with a friend of mine in

592
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: the city, and I was like, I really want to

593
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 1: be I want to be on my A game tomorrow.

594
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 1: I was super nervous. It's like, I need to get

595
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: a good night's sleep so I can like be with

596
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: it tomorrow morning. So I took some niightq Wuill and

597
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: I I'm sure I took Nike Will before this, but

598
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: I don't really have a recollection of doing so. But

599
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: I now know that Nike Will and I don't mesh well.

600
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 1: I don't remember much about the following morning. I remember

601
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: getting in the car, I remember it was raining, I

602
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: remember getting to Silver Crep Studios, walking into the table Read.

603
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 1: I remember being introduced to Lena Dunham and Jedd Apatout

604
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: and shaking their hands, and then I literally do not

605
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: remember anything, like nothing. It is a full void until

606
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: I woke up on my friend's floor who I was

607
00:30:55,320 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: staying with, like drenched in sweat, and I had this

608
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: weird sort of fever dream recollection that I in the

609
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: middle of the table read had like projectile vomited on

610
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: the table, but I also didn't know if that was

611
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: real or not because I was still sort of in

612
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: a niqual haze. So I called my agent freaking out

613
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: and I was like, so this may have happened, but

614
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, and he was like, Okay, calm down,

615
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's gonna be fine. I'm gonna call the executives.

616
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: I'll get back to you. Meanwhile, I had to like

617
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: get on a train and high tail it back to

618
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: hell Town, upstate New York, finished shooting this movie that

619
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: I wore a trash bag dress in and I don't

620
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: hear from him for a full week, during which I'm like, yeah,

621
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: that face exactly.

622
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 3: I'm I'm like like, don't you how did you not?

623
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 3: Did you to call him and call him?

624
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: And Gallo yeah, and he like I would call him,

625
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 1: but he was like, I haven't heard from them, and

626
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. So obviously I'm fired,

627
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: Like for sure, no question, I'm fired, But like, beyond that,

628
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: they're going to tell everybody I'm a drug addict. They're

629
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: going to tell everybody not to work with me, Like

630
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: I'm fucked. So then after a week of just full spiral,

631
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: he calls me, and he's like, the reason it took

632
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: them so long to get back to us is that

633
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: they were amending your contract. They loved what you did

634
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: so much at the table read that they want to

635
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: make you a series regular because initially the show was

636
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: written for three girls, not four, and they were like,

637
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: they want to make you the fourth girl.

638
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 4: Oh that's so fucking awesome. I mean, who knows what

639
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 4: happened during that table read. Maybe that's how you should

640
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 4: go into all table reads truly.

641
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, do I just take Nike will always?

642
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 4: You should just get like a vaccine the day you

643
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 4: have to go it. Yeah, yeah, Jesse, I just got

644
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 4: my polio booster vaccine yesterday since there's polio going around

645
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 4: all all of a sudden again. And they were like, oh,

646
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 4: you might be sick for the next few days. And

647
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, that's what you're describing. I mean,

648
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 4: basically I could have symptoms. I don't have them, but

649
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 4: because I'm a fucking horse. But oh, that's really funny.

650
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. And so what was it like, how was it?

651
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 3: How was it? What was it like working with Lena

652
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:22,479
Speaker 3: and the other girls.

653
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: It was just a dream, like that whole we shot

654
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: that show all told from like shooting the pilot to

655
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 1: our last episode was seven years.

656
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 4: I spent my twenties shooting that show. I like the

657
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 4: number seven as a time of work. I feel like

658
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 4: the reason that there's a phrase of seven year itch

659
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 4: because it's so true, Like seven years is a great

660
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 4: amount of time to spend in a relationship on a job,

661
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 4: Like seven years is a good like chunk, and it's

662
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 4: it doesn't take away like it's a great addition.

663
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 3: And it doesn't.

664
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 4: It's not too long when you like when you have

665
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 4: a good experience with something. It's just the perfect amount

666
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 4: of time. I think there's something about the number seven.

667
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: It's a good about it.

668
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're going to take a break.

669
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 4: We'll take a break right now, and we'll be right

670
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 4: back with Zasha Mabbot.

671
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 5: This week.

672
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 2: We're looking for folks to write in. If you're in

673
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 2: the middle of a career transition, and especially if you've

674
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 2: just been fired, please write into Dear Chelsea podcast at

675
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 2: gmail dot com.

676
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,240
Speaker 3: And we're back with Zasha Mabbott.

677
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 4: Okay, So, this book is filled with lots of stories.

678
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 4: Some are really sad, some are really sweet, and some

679
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 4: are really moving. And some are really really funny. Yes,

680
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 4: I would say this book. I think this book does

681
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,879
Speaker 4: make you funny. That's the title of the book. Does

682
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 4: this make me funny? I think you're already funny. So

683
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 4: it was good that you put it down on paper.

684
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 4: How did you decide to write this right now?

685
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: So it wasn't my decision. When I pitched that book

686
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 1: my first Popsicle, the woman who ended up becoming my

687
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: editor at Penguins, woman Meg Letter, who's amazing, had asked

688
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,439
Speaker 1: if I would consider doing a two book deal and

689
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: doing Popsicle Verse, but then and following it up with

690
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: the book of essays.

691
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 3: And this was like.

692
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: Five years ago at this point, maybe more.

693
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 4: That's a very interesting way for the publishing industry to

694
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 4: work before you've proven yourself, to give you offer you

695
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,479
Speaker 4: a two book deal.

696
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: Though, Well, I think she'd read my essays in Glamor,

697
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 1: and so I think she was like, Oh, I've since

698
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: learned that anthologies are very hard. They're hard for people

699
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: to put together, they're hard for people to sell. I

700
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,240
Speaker 1: was like, what could be cooler than like a bunch

701
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 1: of amazing people all in the same place writing their stories.

702
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 1: But I guess I'm sort of maybe alone in that

703
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: or I'm not that's not the popular thought. So she

704
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: kind of agreed to do my anthology essay idea, but

705
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: really what she had wanted was this book of essays,

706
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 1: and I was super shocked that she asked for that.

707
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, I write this column for Glamor.

708
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: Who wants to read a full book of my essays?

709
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: But I said yes because I'm an actor and I'll

710
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: say yes to any job anyone wants to give me

711
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: that they pay me money for pretty much. I just

712
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: like didn't think it would ever actually happen, Like I

713
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 1: think in my brain, I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm

714
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 1: saying yes to this, but we're going to do this

715
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 1: anthology and then like I don't know, but they'll probably

716
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: forget about this one, or they'll like change their mind

717
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 1: or something. And it takes so long to write and

718
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 1: publish a book. I mean, you know, it's like it

719
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: takes like seven thousand years from the moment procise.

720
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 4: It could only be described as tedious and annoying because

721
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 4: you are so creative, you feel like you're putting so

722
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 4: much in and then what follows all the creative bursts

723
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 4: and blasts and all of this like Catharsis and sharing

724
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 4: is so tedious the book. You know, once they put

725
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 4: the book actually together, it's just like one task after

726
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 4: another that you're like, way to take the fucking fun

727
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 4: out of this.

728
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: By the time we were talking about what kind of

729
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: font like the numbers would be next to that, I

730
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:12,439
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm out, Just I don't care.

731
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,919
Speaker 3: You could do it my last book. For the cover.

732
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,760
Speaker 4: I was like, can you just find a fucking shot

733
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 4: that matches what we're doing? Like, do we really need

734
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 4: to do a photo shoot for this cover? They're like,

735
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 4: most people get excited about this.

736
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, not me. I'm not excited to shoot another

737
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 3: book cover.

738
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,720
Speaker 1: That was the one thing that I really held Firman,

739
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: though I knew that I wanted my buddy Danny Sangre

740
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: to design the cover. He's an incredible filmmaker, he'sil's an

741
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: amazing visual artist, and he is one of my dearest

742
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 1: friends and knows me so well. I just have to

743
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 1: be like, Danny, can you do my cover? And he'll

744
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: make it perfect. And they kept sending me these options

745
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: that were like great, but just I was like no,

746
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: and they made me jump through so many because I

747
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 1: now know they like to keep it internal, and I

748
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: just was like, every time they would send me an

749
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: email with options, I would write back, can Danny please

750
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 1: design my cover? And they finally said yes, But we

751
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: did Popsicle. I loved doing it because I wrote one

752
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 1: essay and then I just got it to edit a

753
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 1: bunch of other brilliant people's work and by edit basically

754
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: be like, thanks so much, it looks great. So when

755
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: we when that came out, I was like, Okay, Meg,

756
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: my editor, can we do another one of these? And

757
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: she was like, well, no, because now you have to

758
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: write your book. And I was like, right, but can

759
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: we do another one of these? And I'll do that

760
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: after And she was like no, because you're contractually obligated

761
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 1: to write this book first.

762
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 4: Okay, we're going to take a couple of callers and

763
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 4: give them advice life advice, Sasha, Okay, that's what we

764
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 4: do here, Dear Chelsea. Yeah, let's do it. Nothing better

765
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 4: than an outside perspective. What do we got, Catherine. Well,

766
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 4: our first caller is Alex. He says, Dear Chelsea. I'm

767
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 4: a thirty six year old gay guy and I am

768
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 4: chronically online. I have a good full time job, and

769
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 4: most people that know me hold me in high esteem.

770
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: But I I'm absolutely obsessed with Instagram and threats.

771
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 3: Mostly.

772
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 2: I always get into fights in the comments, especially about politics.

773
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 2: I always think I have the best points to make,

774
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 2: and often maybe I do, But I know that my

775
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 2: comments are unlikely to really result in epiphanies where mega

776
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: people will change their ways. I figured, since I don't

777
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: argue with family or friends, what's the harm. But I

778
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: comment so often that on popular pages, my friends will

779
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 2: see what I've written, and everyone knows how chronically online

780
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,760
Speaker 2: and combat if I am help Alex.

781
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,959
Speaker 4: Hi, Alex Hey, Chelsea Hi, this is our special guest

782
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 4: Sasha Mammot today.

783
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: Oh hey, hey, hey listen.

784
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: Hi.

785
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 4: As fun and as addicting as social media it can be,

786
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 4: well addicting it is, and as fun as it can be,

787
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 4: it is not good for your brain. You are not

788
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,720
Speaker 4: feeding your brain when you are on social media.

789
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 3: So you need to start detoxing.

790
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 4: And by detoxing, I mean you need to like you

791
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 4: can start small. You can start with an hour a

792
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 4: day that you turn your phone off and put it somewhere.

793
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: Just put it away somewhere when you get home.

794
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 4: From work or your most vulnerable time, wherever you feel

795
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 4: it the most. But you have to understand, like there

796
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 4: are so many articles if you just google what does

797
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 4: social media do to your brain?

798
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 3: You can read it's going to make you sick.

799
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 4: You can't spend that much time a online looking at

800
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 4: other people's lives is not healthy.

801
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 3: You need to fucking read a book. That's what you

802
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,879
Speaker 3: need to be doing, and.

803
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 4: You need to You need to get into the habit

804
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 4: of when you don't have anything to do that you're

805
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 4: reading a book because you're addicted. You have an addiction

806
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 4: and now you have to detox from your addiction.

807
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 6: Healthy but ours I.

808
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 4: Know, I know, but it's true. It's like it's not

809
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 4: good for us. And listen, we all are dealing with this.

810
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 4: You're not alone. But you can take steps like don't

811
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 4: you want to be a more well rounded person? You

812
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 4: don't want to just be somebody who's arguing online and

813
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 4: are trying to make brilliant points online to what availed?

814
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,359
Speaker 3: Like what is that going to get you? What does

815
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 3: it give you?

816
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 6: It gives me some satisfaction when I win.

817
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 3: How do you How does winning What does winning look like?

818
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,240
Speaker 6: Winning to me looks like when the other person maybe

819
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 6: ends up blocking me because in my head, they've like

820
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 6: decided that they cannot argue my valid points anymore. Okay, Like,

821
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 6: you know, one of my most passionate things is about Chicago.

822
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 6: I live in Chicago, and like people are calling it

823
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 6: a hell hole and all this crazy stuff. And this

824
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 6: guy was just going in on me, like a lot

825
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 6: of people because of the way I look. They're like,

826
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 6: you must live in a suburb or like on the

827
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 6: North Side or something, and I don't, And like this

828
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,439
Speaker 6: person was going in on me. And then I was like,

829
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 6: I told him where I lived and like where I

830
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 6: have lived and the things that are great about where

831
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 6: I live, and then he blocked me, and so I was,

832
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 6: I mean, it gives me a lot of satisfaction that

833
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 6: I won that argument and.

834
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 3: Win the argument.

835
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 4: Winning the argument would have been him going, wow, you

836
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 4: brought up so many you raised so many great points

837
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 4: about Chicago, and I was misinformed that would be a win.

838
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 4: Changing someone's mind would be a win. Having someone block

839
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:15,919
Speaker 4: you is not a win.

840
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 2: So don't tell people online that you're arguing with where

841
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 2: you live, like a first rule, just.

842
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 4: To say that maybe, Yeah, Sasha, how do you handle

843
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 4: your relationship with social media.

844
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 1: It's very tough because I have to be on it

845
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: for work. It sadly is now like a part of

846
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: the job. But I find it's so true if I

847
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: don't go on it, or I only go on it

848
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 1: for a specific amount of time to a specific end,

849
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: it makes me feel so much better if I spend

850
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: multiple days. Not because the problem is it's not real,

851
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: but society and our brains keep telling us that it is.

852
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,720
Speaker 1: But it's not, and it's creating these like very weird

853
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: parasocial dynamics that aren't actually based in reality. So it's

854
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 1: like and it is absolutely an addiction. I mean, it's

855
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: a dopamine hit one thousand.

856
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 4: Percent, absolutely absolutely, and we're all guilty of it. So

857
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,439
Speaker 4: just like you know, you're living in a world where

858
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 4: everyone is dealing with this, so you should get some

859
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 4: comfort from that, but you should also be worried about

860
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 4: your brain health, you know what I mean, Because no

861
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 4: one's coming to save you.

862
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,280
Speaker 3: You have to take care of yourself.

863
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 4: You have to make the moves to make sure that

864
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 4: you are having like a healthier relationship with social media

865
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 4: and also find some other things to do that prevent

866
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 4: you from being online. Go fucking play tennis, Go play basketball,

867
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 4: go do yoga, whatever is interesting to you. Commit to

868
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,240
Speaker 4: these things with the intention of breaking away from social media,

869
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 4: so it is not an addiction. Set the timer they

870
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 4: give you those timers. Okay, you've spent an hour on

871
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 4: social media today. You can choose to ignore it.

872
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 3: But you have to be in.

873
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 4: Control of yourself to exercise your willingness to.

874
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 3: Change, you know what I mean.

875
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 4: You have to have a willingness, and then you have

876
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,399
Speaker 4: to have a follow through. And I think follow through

877
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 4: is pretty much the most important thing in life is

878
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 4: following through. You're calling because you know you have a problem.

879
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 4: You're not calling to hear me tell you, Oh my god,

880
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 4: I love it. Keep doing it?

881
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 3: Are you No? I'm not right. So you know you

882
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 3: have a problem. You've admitted it. Great.

883
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 4: Those are the first two major steps. Now you could

884
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 4: take some steps to just spend less time. You don't

885
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:26,280
Speaker 4: have to quit, just spend less time and stop arguing

886
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:26,800
Speaker 4: with people.

887
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 3: Don't tell people where you live.

888
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 4: That's all just kind of like jerking off into a

889
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 4: fucking wall, do you know what I mean?

890
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:39,720
Speaker 3: Just what is the point? You know? Go read?

891
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 4: Go read Anna KARENAA, go read a book that's going

892
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 4: to make you think. Zasha just wrote a great book

893
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,280
Speaker 4: of essays called does This Make Me Funny? Start reading

894
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 4: books that is going to add to your brain health

895
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,320
Speaker 4: way more than social media.

896
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:56,359
Speaker 3: And that's a fucking doctor's order. Okay, okay, okay, I understand, okay.

897
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 4: Okay, keep us posted, check back in in a month,

898
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 4: and let us know how you're doing. Even if you

899
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 4: failed miserably, we want to know about it.

900
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 6: Okay, sounds good. I think I'll start by trying to

901
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 6: put a separation like.

902
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:07,240
Speaker 1: Right after work.

903
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 6: Like unfortunately work requires me to use a smartphone now too,

904
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:15,280
Speaker 6: and so that'll be a good separation from work to life.

905
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 6: And I'll start there.

906
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 4: And just look at and write it down, write it

907
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,479
Speaker 4: down every night, look at how many hours you spent

908
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 4: on your phone. And you know, I know sometimes you're

909
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 4: on your phone for work and not social media, but

910
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 4: there's a differentiation there.

911
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 3: They show you.

912
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 4: They break it up, so like, look at that amount

913
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 4: of hours and then every day work on decreasing that

914
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 4: amount of hours.

915
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 6: Yeah.

916
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 2: I like what you said about like putting something in

917
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 2: its place, like going out, so doing something real, like

918
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 2: Sasha said, like something real that's in the real world.

919
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 2: You can also log that and be like today I

920
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 2: did an hour, I took a walk, or I did

921
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 2: you know.

922
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 6: The thing is, yeah, and maybe if I want a

923
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 6: crusade for the world, I should do something real and

924
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 6: volunteer instead.

925
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,959
Speaker 4: Yes, right, exactly, that's right. That's what Mitch Album said.

926
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,760
Speaker 4: We just had Mitch Album on the writer. You've probably

927
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 4: never heard of him because you're too busy online all

928
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 4: that time. He's written so many beautiful books, and he

929
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 4: said he when he wakes up in the morning, he

930
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 4: just starts to write immediately, without looking at the news,

931
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 4: without looking at He doesn't want anything in his head

932
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 4: other than fresh ideas. And so if you think about

933
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 4: all that noise that you're putting, you're allowing and you're

934
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 4: welcoming into your brain, that could be re engineered to

935
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,799
Speaker 4: have so much more and so and just have a

936
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 4: fuller life.

937
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, Okay, this is helpful.

938
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 3: Okay, good marching orders, good luck. Thanks, Yes, Chelsea, can

939
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 3: I say one thing to you.

940
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 6: I've been a really big fan of you for a

941
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 6: long time, and I just think that you're a model

942
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 6: of someone that's sown personal growth, that's obvious while preserving

943
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 6: your authenticity. I really appreciate it.

944
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:48,280
Speaker 3: Oh I love that. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, bye,

945
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 3: bye bye. I love yelling at my fans, you know

946
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 3: a lot of them.

947
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: That's what they're asking me.

948
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 6: Yeah.

949
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have come on if he if he didn't

950
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: want that, right right. It's like a kid sort of

951
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 1: wanting to get caught.

952
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:04,879
Speaker 3: Yeah.

953
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 2: Yes, Well, our next caller is John So John says,

954
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea, your stand up and books have gotten me

955
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 2: through some really rough times in my life, so I

956
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 2: thought it would be fitting for me to reach out

957
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 2: to you about an issue I'm having with my wedding

958
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 2: guest list. I'm a gay man and my partner and

959
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 2: I have been together for five years. This is both

960
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 2: of our first ever relationships, which also led us to

961
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 2: coming out to our family members. Although most of my

962
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 2: family was highly supportive, my mother was.

963
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 1: Not.

964
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 2: To put it mildly, my mother and I have never

965
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 2: really had a healthy relationship. She gave me up to

966
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 2: be raised by my grandparents when I was in the

967
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 2: fifth grade. We remained cordial for the most part for

968
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 2: the sake of my grandparents, but this all changed in

969
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, when a disagreement between my grandparents and my

970
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 2: mother resulted in a significant family rupture in which I

971
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 2: ultimately sided with my grandparents. During my coming out year,

972
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 2: my grandparents encouraged me to have a conversation with my mother,

973
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,320
Speaker 2: which I was hesitant about but agreed to. As predicted,

974
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 2: the common versation went horribly. She was not accepting of

975
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 2: as she put it, my life choices sidebar. Some of

976
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 2: my life choices include that I am the first college

977
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 2: graduate in my family, a licensed psychotherapist soon to be

978
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 2: a psychologist, and caring partner. So I think it turned

979
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,400
Speaker 2: out pretty well despite the trauma that comes along with

980
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 2: being abandoned by a parent. Anyway, my mother found out

981
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 2: about the engagement and has been speaking to my grandmother

982
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 2: about it, who has been slightly pressuring me to invite

983
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 2: her to the wedding. It's important for me to be

984
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 2: surrounded by people who have been supportive of my relationship. However,

985
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 2: I don't want my grandparents to be upset that my

986
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 2: mother wasn't invited, since she has a history of taking

987
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 2: things out on them when she's upset with me, and

988
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'll regret not inviting her, which

989
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 2: is probably influenced by my inner child still longing for

990
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 2: his mother. My partner and I are getting ready to

991
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,760
Speaker 2: send out Save the Dates next month, and I'm really

992
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 2: on the fence about whether or not to invite her.

993
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,280
Speaker 2: I could really use her unfiltered and unbiased feedback.

994
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 3: John.

995
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 4: Hi, John, hellou Hi, This is Zasha Mammett. She's our

996
00:48:58,080 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 4: special guest today.

997
00:48:59,320 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 3: By John.

998
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:00,320
Speaker 1: Hello.

999
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 3: Nice to meet too, too.

1000
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 4: Hi. Well, listen, first of all, congratulations on having your

1001
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 4: fucking shit together. Okay, you have your shit together, and

1002
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 4: if your mother won't tell you, I will.

1003
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,280
Speaker 3: You are a fucking success.

1004
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 4: And I love when a psychotherapist calls here for advice,

1005
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 4: So I mean, that's always very entertaining. Have you had

1006
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 4: conversations with your mother recently about your relationship or about, like,

1007
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 4: you know, the seriousness of your relationship.

1008
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 3: Does she know your partner.

1009
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:30,359
Speaker 5: She met him once a couple years ago. We went

1010
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 5: to drop off Christmas presents there and he is with me,

1011
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 5: but she said high to him and then ignored him

1012
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 5: the rest of the time we were there. She knows

1013
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 5: we're engaged, she knows we're getting married, but she doesn't

1014
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 5: really talk about him to me whenever we talk she

1015
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 5: avoids that.

1016
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 4: Okay, do you think it would be worthwhile to have

1017
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 4: a conversation with her to see where she stands with

1018
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 4: regard to your relationship If she understands that you're in love,

1019
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 4: that you're marrying a partner, that you guys are intending

1020
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 4: to be together for the rest of your lives.

1021
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 3: Do you I think that's a worthwhile endeavor for you?

1022
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 5: Ideally it would be I struggle with trusting what her

1023
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 5: reaction is going to be, and usually in conversations like those,

1024
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 5: I walk away feeling pretty shitty, So I don't want

1025
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 5: to feel that way.

1026
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well, yes, you can't control what she's going

1027
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,760
Speaker 4: to say, obviously, but if you, in any way, shape

1028
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 4: or form, are not feeling like you're going to have

1029
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 4: a safe experience at your wedding emotionally, then your mother

1030
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 4: isn't welcome there, and you can't take care of your grandparents'

1031
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,799
Speaker 4: feelings either, You know what I mean?

1032
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 3: This is about you, and this is about.

1033
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,399
Speaker 4: Your partnership with your husband and what you guys are

1034
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 4: building together, and building it on a foundation of strength

1035
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 4: rather than negativity would be the starting point, right And

1036
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 4: I think you probably know well enough that if you

1037
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 4: can't rely on her to be supportive and to be

1038
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 4: there for the right reasons, then it's not just about

1039
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 4: inviting her so that your grandparents feel better. You're saving

1040
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,919
Speaker 4: them some trouble too. Like she'll take it out on them,

1041
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 4: is what I gather. If she doesn't get invited, right,

1042
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 4: take it out? Yeah, absolutely so it might be worthwhile

1043
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 4: just to send her an email and let her know

1044
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,720
Speaker 4: why she's not invited, you know, and if she really

1045
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 4: or if you want to do it prematurely, like if

1046
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,479
Speaker 4: you want to reach out to her via email, because

1047
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 4: sometimes it's better to write these things instead of say

1048
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 4: them out loud, because you your emotions will get the

1049
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 4: better of you to write down and say, listen, this

1050
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 4: is what I'm embarking on. I'm about to spend the

1051
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 4: rest of my life with the man that I love,

1052
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,879
Speaker 4: and we've been you know, you've never really exhibited any

1053
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 4: support for this relationship or shown any interest in him,

1054
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 4: So I'm unclear as to how to proceed about including

1055
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 4: you in the wedding. Is this something you think that

1056
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 4: you would want to be a part of. Do you

1057
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 4: think that you can show up for me and be

1058
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 4: one hundred percent supportive, because that's all I want on

1059
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 4: that day, and leave it in her court and see

1060
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,720
Speaker 4: how she comes back to you. And if she comes

1061
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,720
Speaker 4: back to you in any way that makes you feel

1062
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 4: ick or weird or nervous or you're emotionally not taken

1063
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 4: care of, then that's your answer. And you don't have

1064
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 4: to have the conversation with her. And you can easily

1065
00:51:57,080 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 4: explain to your grandparents that you did that you could

1066
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 4: see see them or not see see them. Don't involve

1067
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 4: them when it's not necessary. They're probably old and tired. Zasha,

1068
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 4: what do you think I mean?

1069
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,240
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you're in this position. It's truly terrible,

1070
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: and it's it's such a bummer because you're the child

1071
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 1: here and this shouldn't have to be your responsibility. But sadly,

1072
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 1: that's just sometimes life. But you know, my husband and

1073
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,240
Speaker 1: I had some tricky family stuff when we were getting married,

1074
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: some tricky friends stuff, and we really sat down and said,

1075
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: this is a day to celebrate our love. This is

1076
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 1: the day that's supposed to kick off the rest of

1077
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: our lives. And we decided the only people that were

1078
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 1: allowed to be at our wedding were people who we

1079
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: felt like we either saw or talked to every week.

1080
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 1: They were people that made us feel happy and good

1081
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 1: and safe, and you know, we would have these sort

1082
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: of like You can get very political when you're planning

1083
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 1: a wedding, right you start to be like, well, by

1084
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 1: this person, we have to bet, and you're like, you

1085
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:59,320
Speaker 1: know what this wedding is for us. This wedding is

1086
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 1: about us saying I love you in front of I

1087
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 1: love you forever, in front of our community. And the

1088
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 1: only people that we want there are those who are

1089
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 1: going to elevate that love. And that was our hard line,

1090
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 1: and it didn't always make the decision to maybe not

1091
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 1: invite some people easy, but I think at the end

1092
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 1: of the day, it was the right choice because it

1093
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:28,239
Speaker 1: truly did feel like a joy love bubble. And I

1094
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: think Chelsea's right, this is your day and everyone who's

1095
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 1: there should be in support of that union. And it's

1096
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 1: really up to your mom whether or not she can

1097
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:42,879
Speaker 1: do that. But if she can't, I don't think it's

1098
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,479
Speaker 1: your responsibility to make her and your grandparents feel better

1099
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:47,399
Speaker 1: by inviting her.

1100
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,760
Speaker 5: I appreciate that both of your advice is amazing. Sounds

1101
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,839
Speaker 5: similar to some of the advice I would give one

1102
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 5: of my clients, but I think I need to practice

1103
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 5: what I appreciate here a little bit more.

1104
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you have from this call mission to

1105
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 2: say no. You know, it's sometimes it's hardest for us

1106
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 2: to give ourselves permission, and you definitely have that here.

1107
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:08,319
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1108
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.

1109
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:11,760
Speaker 4: And just remember, you know, when you make a decision

1110
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 4: like this, either way you go, then that becomes the decision.

1111
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 4: You know, like if you decide not to include your mom,

1112
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 4: I don't know that that's something that's necessarily going to

1113
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 4: weigh on you personally for moths, you know, for the

1114
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 4: time that's remaining until the wedding. It might be like, oh, okay,

1115
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 4: that's off my plate, like I've made a decision. Or conversely,

1116
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 4: to say I'm including her, it's like, okay, I've accepted

1117
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 4: that she's going to come.

1118
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 3: Like, whatever decision you go with, it's fine.

1119
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 4: But I think that you can write that letter an

1120
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 4: email and put it in writing so that she has

1121
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 4: time to read it reflect on it. You know, it

1122
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 4: can't be it's not going to be argumentative. It's going

1123
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 4: to come from a place of love and self protection.

1124
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 5: I will definitely do that. I don't have to circle

1125
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 5: back and update you folks, Yes.

1126
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 3: Definitely please do all right, thank you John.

1127
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:57,800
Speaker 4: Thanks John, have so much fun at your congratulations.

1128
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you.

1129
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 4: I Okay, well we'll take a break and we'll be

1130
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 4: right back to wrap up with Sasha. Okay, and we're

1131
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 4: back with Sasha Mammut, who wrote this great little book

1132
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 4: called Does This Make Me Funny. It's a book of essays,

1133
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 4: her personal essays, and it's filled with well, it's filled

1134
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 4: with everything you could want out of a book, quite frankly.

1135
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 4: So thank you Sasha for being here today. I wish

1136
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 4: you the best luck with this book. And I'm just

1137
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 4: so happy you're healthy and bouncing around the world and

1138
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 4: you're in love with your hus You've been married for

1139
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 4: thirteen years now, right something like.

1140
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 1: That, married together thirteen married in October for nine Yeah,

1141
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:40,919
Speaker 1: long time.

1142
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 3: Wow.

1143
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 4: Good for you. And no children not yet? No, okay, okay,

1144
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 4: well maybe that's a good thing.

1145
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:48,839
Speaker 3: Okay, So.

1146
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:58,439
Speaker 4: Have a great day, Love you, honey, Sesha, Bye bye bye.

1147
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 4: I just announced all my tour day. They just went

1148
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 4: on sale this week. It's called The High and Mighty Tour.

1149
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:08,359
Speaker 4: I will be starting in February of next year, so

1150
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:12,479
Speaker 4: I will be touring from February through June. I haven't

1151
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 4: added second shows yet, but we probably will be to

1152
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 4: some of these. So go get your tickets now if

1153
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 4: you want good seats and you want to come see

1154
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 4: me perform. I will be on the high and mighty

1155
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 4: toour Do.

1156
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:24,840
Speaker 1: You want advice from Chelsea?

1157
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find

1158
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,760
Speaker 2: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

1159
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered

1160
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:39,359
Speaker 2: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure

1161
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 2: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com