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Speaker 1: Hello, people of the computer or the phone, whichever one

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Speaker 1: of those two or mediums you're using to listen to this,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you're listening in your car, or maybe you're

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Speaker 1: listening inside the belly of a whale, although probably not

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Speaker 1: you're probably maybe you're walking, maybe you're on a train.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you have this podcast playing in like another

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Speaker 1: room to no one well, and you like left it

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Speaker 1: on and you forgot, and I'm just speaking into this

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Speaker 1: void of an empty room while you're off, you know,

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Speaker 1: doing something else, not even knowing that I'm speaking. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that's where this podcast is going right now. But what's up, everybody?

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Speaker 1: How's it going? This is gek Mail. I'm gonna fucking

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Speaker 1: shoot the shit with myself for a little bit and

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Speaker 1: then I'm gonna read some viewer mail. So I guess

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Speaker 1: what's going on with me? Real quick? Is I am

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Speaker 1: in Japan right now. I've been here for two months.

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Speaker 1: It's been a beautiful, beautiful experience. I'm sad to go back,

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Speaker 1: but I think it'll be good. I think it'll be grounding,

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Speaker 1: you know, at the end of the day. At the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, right it's like you can go on.

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Speaker 1: I've had a been fortunate enough in my life to

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Speaker 1: go on many, many crazy, beautiful adventures, both thanks to

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Speaker 1: the therapy Gecko and also just thanks to like, you know,

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Speaker 1: something in my brain, for better or for worse, requires

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Speaker 1: me to fucking have like some some sense of novelty

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Speaker 1: going on. So I'm always running around and doing stuff,

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Speaker 1: and it's been good. But the old what's that song?

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Speaker 1: Been all over the world, only place left to go

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Speaker 1: is home something like that. Who does that song? Anyway? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the song is good. So yeah, man, I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: return back and see my family and my friends and

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Speaker 1: it'll be good. You know. That's the meaning of life,

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Speaker 1: I think is one of the things I've learned over

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Speaker 1: the past I'm not even gonna say two months, because

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Speaker 1: I knew it kind of before I came here. But

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Speaker 1: the quality of your life is always going to be

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Speaker 1: the quality of the people around you at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day. I think for me, at least, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. You might you might be able to go

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Speaker 1: into the woods. Everyone's different, everyone's brain is wired differently,

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Speaker 1: So you might be able to just go into the

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Speaker 1: woods and live there forever and it's awesome for you.

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Speaker 1: So actually I take back everything I said. I don't

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Speaker 1: fucking know the life. I don't even I regret even

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Speaker 1: pretending for a second like I did. But I guess

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Speaker 1: it's the meaning of I guess my life and probably

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Speaker 1: the meaning of a lot of people's lives is to

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Speaker 1: just be around as folks. You know, life is like

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Speaker 1: a tremendously uh scary and lonely and frightening bizarre experience,

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Speaker 1: and uh, you know it's everything is cope, but it's good.

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Speaker 1: Cope is good cope is you know, Yeah, your friends

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Speaker 1: sending you a meme, it's good cope. So you know, whatever,

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Speaker 1: connect with other people, it's good. I think this was

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Speaker 1: a whole I don't know why this is. This is

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Speaker 1: a whole motivational rant. I'm never trying to tell other

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Speaker 1: people what to do, but I'm just this is just

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Speaker 1: me working out my own brain. This is the this

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Speaker 1: is the therapy for me, uh portion of this show,

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Speaker 1: and I'm enjoying it. It feels good. And if you

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Speaker 1: have me in your ear right now, God bless you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, very very very very much. I am honored

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Speaker 1: to have your listenership, and I'm ready to take to

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Speaker 1: read some emails. Let's get into it. Although before we

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Speaker 1: get into it, I do want to say I am

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Speaker 1: hosting my very first art exhibition in Bushwick, Brooklyn on

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Speaker 1: Well it's gonna We're having a gallery exhibition opening on

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Speaker 1: March fourteenth from seven pm to ten pm at the

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Speaker 1: Kaleidoscope Gallery in Bushwick, Brooklyn. And if you live in

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Speaker 1: New York City, if you want to come, you can

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Speaker 1: check the link to the episode description. I put a

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Speaker 1: little thing that you can enter in your phone number

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Speaker 1: into and then you'll get a little text where that says, Hey,

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Speaker 1: just a reminder that we're doing this thing. And also

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Speaker 1: I might do other things in New York City this,

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Speaker 1: I might do other stupid art exit. Oh, I didn't

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Speaker 1: even talk about what the exhibition is. I'm taking eight

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Speaker 1: It's called Lyle Forever presents Trash from around my Room

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be taking eight pieces of trash from

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Speaker 1: around my room and displaying them and you can come

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Speaker 1: to take that. It's a free event. It's a free event.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I decided to. I had this.

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Speaker 1: I had this event written down in my notes app

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Speaker 1: like two years ago, and I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: we just have to do it. If not now, then

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Speaker 1: when let's just do it. Let's just do the fucking

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Speaker 1: trash exhibit. And so we're doing the trash exhibit. It's

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Speaker 1: free to come and to hang out. There'll be a

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Speaker 1: bar there. I'll be there. I'll be hanging out. So

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Speaker 1: come through March fourteenth, Kaleidoscope Gallery, seven pm, ten pm.

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Speaker 1: And the link to RSVP is in this episode description.

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Speaker 1: So come hang out and look at my stupid trash.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's look at some emails here. This is

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Speaker 1: from ash. Subject line I told my instructor I'd make

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Speaker 1: him come. Okay, high Gek. I had my first driving

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Speaker 1: lesson today and accidentally sexted the instructor two minutes before

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Speaker 1: he got to my house. On the driving app, it

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Speaker 1: has a section saying bits out them. What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: It has a section saying bits out them, and he

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Speaker 1: just filled them all with coming soon. So okay. I

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Speaker 1: sent who I thought was my boyfriend a screenshot of

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Speaker 1: his driving profile and a text saying I'm gonna make

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Speaker 1: him come. Then almost canceled my driving test when I

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Speaker 1: saw who I sent it to. Oh okay, So this

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Speaker 1: person took us screenshot of their instructor's driving profile and

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Speaker 1: then meant to send the screenshot to their boyfriend with

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Speaker 1: the with the phrase I'm gonna make him come, but

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Speaker 1: they accidentally sent it to the driver. Okay, he was

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Speaker 1: actually a good sport about it and we had to laugh,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't weird anyway. Odd first driving lesson. Guess

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Speaker 1: I'm stuck till I graduate. Help your driving instructors come well,

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Speaker 1: I hope. I don't have anything funny to say about this,

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Speaker 1: but it is a funny situation. Let's let's see here.

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Speaker 1: This is from Austin. This is a rant. The subject

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Speaker 1: line is rant on life. Hey, gek, I graduated almost

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Speaker 1: two years ago and I've been with the same company since.

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Speaker 1: They've shown me the corruption and greed that drives capitalism.

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Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. My job, which involves providing

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Speaker 1: and educating patients on medical equipment, has taken a severe

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Speaker 1: toll on my mental and emotional health, and I started

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Speaker 1: therapy because of it. I understand patient's anger due to pain,

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Speaker 1: but the treatment I received from hospital staff and colleagues

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Speaker 1: is unbearable. They don't care about patience. They only want

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Speaker 1: to milk money from them. Management even told me not

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Speaker 1: to pick up equipment from a patient until they called

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Speaker 1: to ask why it hadn't been done so they could

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Speaker 1: continue billing them. I've been applying for my dream career

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Speaker 1: for an entire year, but the constant rejections are overwhelming.

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Speaker 1: Life feels bleak, and I'm struggling to find meaning in anything.

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Speaker 1: This repetitive cycle is a never ending hell escape. I

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Speaker 1: am unable to escape from Austin. Well, Austin, Hey, man,

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Speaker 1: you know what. Here's the funny thing is, like, normally

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Speaker 1: I think I would get an email like this and

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Speaker 1: I would be like, oh crap, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to respond. But you know, let's I don't know, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm in the mood to give it a try. I've

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Speaker 1: also been feeling like a little hell scapie here Austin.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna tell you you how I you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling in the hellscape land. I mean, look, man,

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Speaker 1: I think all of my theories and all of my

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Speaker 1: quote unquote advice or whatever, it's all just theories that

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Speaker 1: I'm testing and trying. I have no you know, hold on,

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Speaker 1: there's a fucking in Japan. They make it. They do

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Speaker 1: a bell every day at four thirty. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you guys can hear this bell? Why four thirty?

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Speaker 1: It only goes off at four thirty? Does anyone know why?

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Speaker 1: There's why does a bell always go off in Tokyo

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Speaker 1: at four to thirty? Hold on, it's about it. It's

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Speaker 1: about an end. That's another good thing to get you

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Speaker 1: out of Hellescape is just distractions. Donkey Kong Country Returns

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Speaker 1: is they release this is not an advertisement, but Donkey

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Speaker 1: Kong Country Returns is. They released it in HD on

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Speaker 1: the Nintendo Switch, And I'm gonna use that to help

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Speaker 1: me cope with the void. But anyway, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Austin Man, you seem like, well, well, I'm curious what

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Speaker 1: you said. You've been applying for your dream career, right,

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Speaker 1: so what is your dream career? I don't know what

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Speaker 1: that is, but let's say whatever your dream career is,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it's your dream career for a reason. Right,

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Speaker 1: So instead of the one thing I've always felt is

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Speaker 1: that like there's kind of motivations and then there's vessels

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Speaker 1: for those motivations, I suppose, And so it's like, uh,

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Speaker 1: why is your dream career your dream career? Is it

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Speaker 1: because it puts you around people. Is it because it

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Speaker 1: lets you travel? Is it because it lets you help people?

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Speaker 1: You know? What? Is it? Right? And so instead of

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Speaker 1: chasing after this specific thing that is kind of a

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Speaker 1: thing that is like a rejection acceptance thing, and you're

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Speaker 1: kind of like a allowing other people to tell you

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Speaker 1: whether or not you'll be able to achieve those vessels, Like,

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Speaker 1: why don't you just take whatever the fuck it is

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Speaker 1: that you like about this career and see if you can,

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Speaker 1: you know, see see what all your options are for

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Speaker 1: kind of satisfying those life desires. I suppose that's what

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Speaker 1: I guess, that's what I would do. That's what I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to do. It's funny, man, talking about this ship

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Speaker 1: on the podcast is helping me kind of reinforce things

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Speaker 1: for myself. So so that's good. That's what I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to do. Let's keep going, Let's keep going. Uh. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is from this one's a little too long. Hold on. Okay.

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Speaker 1: This is from someone who told me not to use

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Speaker 1: their name. Don't use my name please. My boyfriend of

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Speaker 1: five years has a baby. My story high from Canada.

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Speaker 1: I've been watching your show a lot lately, and I

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Speaker 1: doubt this will even get anywhere. Well, here we are

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Speaker 1: my story. So I'm twenty one and my now ex

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Speaker 1: is twenty three. We started dating in twenty twenty. We

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Speaker 1: broke up in twenty in October of twenty twenty three

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Speaker 1: because I found a lot of porn on his phone

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Speaker 1: and it was pretty disturbing. I found pictures of his

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Speaker 1: cousin on there. Okay, fast forward. During the time we

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Speaker 1: broke up, I started seeing someone and he did also.

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Speaker 1: He was with this emo, mentally ill girl who has

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Speaker 1: a list of disorders. Okay, whatever, blah blah blah blah blah. Okay,

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Speaker 1: fast forward again. We got back together in the end

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Speaker 1: of February twenty twenty four, and we were doing good.

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Speaker 1: He was decent, was working on himself, and I saw

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Speaker 1: some change. Oh she got back together. Then on April first,

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Speaker 1: the oh Okay. Then on April first, the girl that

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Speaker 1: he was seeing while we were broken up posted that

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Speaker 1: she was pregnant and tried to play it off as

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Speaker 1: an April Fool's joke. She didn't even say anything to

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Speaker 1: my ex, and she blocked us both on social media

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Speaker 1: when I confronted her about it. She was playing this

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Speaker 1: big game of guests for nine months and now it's

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Speaker 1: February and I finally broke up with him because she

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Speaker 1: came out and said, yeah, this is your baby. The

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Speaker 1: whole situation is fucked. She even tried to say that

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Speaker 1: we could all be one happy family and have a

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Speaker 1: three way relationship, which just proves how messed up she

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Speaker 1: is in her head. But yeah, living life to the

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Speaker 1: fullest right now. I guess that is a crazy dude.

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Speaker 1: That's such a crazy situation considering how fucking young old

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Speaker 1: you guys are. I mean, goddamn, I mean, well, shit,

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Speaker 1: you got out of that one pretty good. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's that's that's that's gnarly. That's gnarley. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna I need something to refer to you as.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna call your that's gnarly, Rachel. Good luck.

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Speaker 1: That's all I got. I'm gonna start. Sometimes I have

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Speaker 1: things to say and sometimes I don't. And this one,

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Speaker 1: this one, I'm just a little speechless. Good luck, Rachel.

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Speaker 1: That one's pretty pretty messed up. I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: I guess it's good that you guys didn't have a baby,

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Speaker 1: you know. All right, let's see here, Okay, this is

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Speaker 1: from Sam subject line just turned twenty and I'm overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: Any advice? Hey, Gak, my name is Sam. I just

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Speaker 1: turned twenty this past December and the spring semester has

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Speaker 1: just started. Over the winter, I did some research which

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Speaker 1: has gotten the green light to content to continue throughout

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Speaker 1: the semester as a one credit independent study course kick Ass.

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Speaker 1: I'm also in another independent study course to be doing

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Speaker 1: four different projects. I love research, and it's what i

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Speaker 1: want to be doing, but I'm doubting my abilities to

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Speaker 1: be able to manage my time well and produce good work,

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Speaker 1: not only in those projects but also my normal classes.

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Speaker 1: I'm taking KIM and kalk Tu, and I'm struggling a bit,

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Speaker 1: and I'm afraid to burn out so early. Do you

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Speaker 1: have any advice as someone who is older? Thanks? Wishing

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Speaker 1: you the best, Sam, Sam, I'm terrible, I have. I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of terrible for this because I studied film in

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Speaker 1: college and I maybe did work two fucking hours a

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Speaker 1: week as a film major in cob My roommate was

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Speaker 1: a biology major. He fucking hated me because, you know,

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Speaker 1: he was doing real stuff with his life and his

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Speaker 1: you know, he always had a bunch of work to

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Speaker 1: do and my you know, I was like getting high

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Speaker 1: and listening to low fi beats and not doing anything.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not good at school. I've never been a

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Speaker 1: big school person. But I guess we could. I guess

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Speaker 1: if we were to go a little bit deeper and

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Speaker 1: get into like the emotions of it, right is like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. It's hard to say because

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Speaker 1: part of me is like, well, if you're only twenty

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Speaker 1: and this is what you really want to do, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, give it. God, dude, I guess give it

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Speaker 1: your best shot. I know that that's not I know

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Speaker 1: that that's not great advice, but give it your best shot.

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Speaker 1: And if you end up falling short of whatever your

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Speaker 1: best shot is, just take solace in the fact that

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Speaker 1: you tried, you know, so, so that's I think that's

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Speaker 1: what I got for you, sam is is just just

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Speaker 1: take solace in the fact that you tried. That's all

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Speaker 1: I think you're gonna ever really care about, is that

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Speaker 1: you know, when you go to bed at night, you

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Speaker 1: try your fucking best to do the things that you

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Speaker 1: wanted to do with yourself or whatever the hell that

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Speaker 1: is worth learning. Okay, this is from Andrew subject line

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Speaker 1: learning to be alone. He says, I think you've got

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Speaker 1: to be alone slash single and with no friends for

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Speaker 1: a part of your life, even if it's just a

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Speaker 1: couple of months. It's necessary character development arc. And I

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Speaker 1: recommend it to everyone. If you read this, you're awesome.

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Speaker 1: Keep going. You know, it's interesting. I definitely I think

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Speaker 1: I'll be up. I'll be a little open on this

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Speaker 1: this year episode. I'm in the mood for it. You know.

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Speaker 1: I think over the years that I've I think over

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Speaker 1: the years i've all I've been a very like kind

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Speaker 1: of you know, wanting to be alone and do things

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Speaker 1: on my own kind of vibe. And I and if

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do that, right, if you're gonna learn to

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Speaker 1: be alone, I actually agree with this email. I agree

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Speaker 1: with this email that you should try to learn how

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Speaker 1: to be alone, especially if you're young, like dude, if

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Speaker 1: you're in your fucking if you're in your like early

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Speaker 1: twenties or something like that, you gotta it's it's okay

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Speaker 1: to learn how to be alone and go on a

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Speaker 1: little solo trip. And it is, I agree, a necessary

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Speaker 1: character development arc. And I think through all the times

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Speaker 1: that I've gone on a solo trip or been alone

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Speaker 1: or struggled with loneliness. I agree, it's been like a

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Speaker 1: big character arc for me. But also, you know, over

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Speaker 1: I think over the years, if you do it too much,

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Speaker 1: you kind of wake up and you're like, oh, this

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Speaker 1: is not I mean again, it's it's It's what I

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Speaker 1: was saying earlier. Everyone's brain is fucking wired differently, and so, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I personally think that having quality social connections

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Speaker 1: in your life is probably the most important fucking thing

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Speaker 1: on the possibly fucking do for yourself. Right, some people

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Speaker 1: aren't as lucky to have those things come. Some people

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Speaker 1: are really fucking lucky and those things just come naturally

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Speaker 1: to their lives, and other people aren't and they have

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Speaker 1: to kind of work a little bit harder for them.

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Speaker 1: But uh, you know, I agree with this the spirit

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Speaker 1: of this email, and like it's okay to learn, you

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Speaker 1: gotta you gotta kind of learn how to be alone,

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Speaker 1: but you know, don't drag it on too long or

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Speaker 1: else you will go insane. Trust me. This is from

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Speaker 1: Jane subject line touring musician struggling with daily life after

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Speaker 1: Hey Lyle, I'm a musician parentheses DJ who just went

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Speaker 1: on tour last year in Asia and now I'm doing

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Speaker 1: Latin America. I do longish tours where I stay in

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Speaker 1: the city I perform for a few weeks to really

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Speaker 1: get a feeling for what it's like and to connect

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Speaker 1: with the people here. I'm also commissioning a three D

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Speaker 1: artist that helps me pay the bills on the go.

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Speaker 1: It's hard for me when I head back home to

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Speaker 1: cope with daily life. I just kind of stare at

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Speaker 1: my wall, like why why do I have a space

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Speaker 1: when I could just be on the move all the time.

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Speaker 1: I can't slow down, even though I feel like I should.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes As someone who also tours a bunch, how do

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Speaker 1: you handle the come down afterwards? Thank you, Jane. Finally

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Speaker 1: a fucking email where I feel like I can speak

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Speaker 1: on it, dude. So yeah, I mean, I've been touring.

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Speaker 1: I've been lucky enough to tour as the therapy get

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Speaker 1: go for like basically on and off for two and

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Speaker 1: a half years. And yeah, you know, Jane, I'm in

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Speaker 1: the same boat here because I'm taking this year off

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Speaker 1: of touring, which I think was a necessary thing to

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Speaker 1: do because I had to, you know, kind of take

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Speaker 1: the time to evaluate a lot of life things and

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Speaker 1: kind of kind of deal with them, but I'm with

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Speaker 1: you too. Like when I'm on the road, life feels

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Speaker 1: really like there's a weird linear thing to it, where like,

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Speaker 1: when I'm on the road, all I have to worry

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Speaker 1: about is the show I am doing tonight in Saint Louis, Missouri.

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Speaker 1: It's a very present thing when you have a show

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Speaker 1: and you're performing and going all around, because you're focused

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Speaker 1: on the present moment and where you are, and it

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Speaker 1: kind of gets you like there is linear aspect to

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Speaker 1: it where it's like, Okay, I have this many shows

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Speaker 1: to do, and let me walk in this straight line.

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Speaker 1: And life is a little scary in the fact that

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Speaker 1: it doesn't often have straight lines, especially if you're a

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Speaker 1: musician or a gecko or something non traditional. You know,

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Speaker 1: life doesn't have a lot of straight lines to it,

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Speaker 1: and so touring gives you a bit of a straight line.

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Speaker 1: And when you get off a tour, yet you don't

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Speaker 1: have a straight line anymore. And that's fucking spooky. So

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Speaker 1: how do I handle the come down afterwards? The truth is, Jane,

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Speaker 1: I haven't been doing a great job of handling to

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Speaker 1: come down afterwards. But I think it's it's probably, And

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Speaker 1: actually I'm happy to be reading this email because it's

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Speaker 1: making me have to find an answer to this question.

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Speaker 1: And so I think, in this very moment, I'm just

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Speaker 1: kind of like, you probably have to establish some kind

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Speaker 1: of routine, because when I was on the road, I

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Speaker 1: felt calm and I felt like I had a routine.

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Speaker 1: It was like, you know, go to the airport, do

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Speaker 1: fucking this shit, set up the show, do meet with people,

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Speaker 1: smoke weed at two o'clock in the morning, and go

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Speaker 1: to bed and wake up and do it again. And

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Speaker 1: so I think, I think again, Yeah, from person who

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Speaker 1: tours to person to tours, it's like touring established a

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Speaker 1: routine for me, and then when the routine went way,

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Speaker 1: I just started to kind of falter. And so, uh,

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Speaker 1: I think the answer is going to be like coming

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Speaker 1: up with another routine for yourself, for myself, and so hope,

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Speaker 1: hopefully you can find a routine that makes you feel

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Speaker 1: some level of excitement, right, Uh, some level of excitement

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Speaker 1: for what you had when you were on tour. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's hard, you know, man, if if you're the kind

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Speaker 1: of person where you want you want a lot out

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Speaker 1: of life, you want a lot out of uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: you live in crazy rock star Land, You're in Asia,

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Speaker 1: you're in Latin America, you're you're talking to this person,

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Speaker 1: you're doing this. I mean, it's it's, uh, it's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It's it's the kind of you know, it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: a beautiful existence. But I don't know if it's sustainable

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Speaker 1: to live it forever, or at least you can live

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Speaker 1: it forever, but I don't know if it's sustainable to

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Speaker 1: live it constantly. And so yeah, you need to kind

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Speaker 1: of build some kind of routine. I guess do push

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Speaker 1: ups or something. All Right, that was a rant. That

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Speaker 1: was a whole rant, But I guess this whole podcast

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Speaker 1: is a whole fucking rant. So let's keep going. Caitlin says,

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Speaker 1: save me, mister gecko, Hi, gek, I'm having a life crisis,

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Speaker 1: and your knowledgeable on these things is a gecko. I

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Speaker 1: don't know about that. What are your thoughts on life

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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five and the groundhog from Groundhog Day?

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00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: I don't know much about the groundhog from Groundhog Day,

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Speaker 1: but one of my thoughts on life in twenty twenty five,

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Speaker 1: I mean, Ski, it's spooky for sure, you know, I'll

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Speaker 1: talk about this. This is something that comes up in

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Speaker 1: my brain is I don't think it's healthy to know

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Speaker 1: so much about other people's lives. And the reason I

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Speaker 1: bring that up specifically is that I like, I'm on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: as many of us are, and you know, sometimes when

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything, I'll just find myself scrolling through

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Speaker 1: Instagram stories. I mean, you scroll through Instagram stories, You're

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Speaker 1: getting all these fucking people's windows into their lives, and

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Speaker 1: you start comparing yourself to other people's lives, and you

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Speaker 1: start just having all of life thrown at you in

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Speaker 1: in fucking twenty seconds. And it's probably not good. It's

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Speaker 1: not that's too much information to have. That's my that's

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Speaker 1: my scary thing about twenty twenty five is that I

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Speaker 1: feel like we have, you know, in many ways, twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty five. And the information that we have in this

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Speaker 1: in this day and age is good and helpful. It

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Speaker 1: allows people to find each other that couldn't before and

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Speaker 1: allows you to get answers to shit that you just

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Speaker 1: had to fucking sucked, shove down and deal with beforehand.

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Speaker 1: But it's also a little too much information, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't need to know what some guy I fucking met

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Speaker 1: at something four years ago is doing today. I don't

415
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: need to know that, you know, and so, but it's

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00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: also it's also all in our control, like all these

417
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: fucking you know where our brains are trained to be

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Speaker 1: on this shit as much as possible, And but it is,

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Speaker 1: it is in our control. And so I guess, I

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Speaker 1: guess that's a fucking antidote, is too If I don't.

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Speaker 1: If I think it's too much information, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: fucking stop looking at Instagram stories so much, which is

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Speaker 1: probably a good idea. So thoughts on living in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty five Enjoy the information era and all of its gifts,

425
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: but don't fly too close to the sun, I suppose

426
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: is my thoughts on twenty twenty five. All Right, I'm

427
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 1: feeling pretty good. I'm big chillin'. Let us continue to

428
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 1: take uh more things. This is from Albert, subject line

429
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: in all caps, help, a bunch of exclamation points, and

430
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: then this email is in all caps. Gek, I'm drunk

431
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: af the bar overserved me. Man, I hit my wax vape,

432
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: and I'm currently paying for the consequences of my decisions.

433
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: Please help. PS. I love you man, You're so cool. Albert, Well,

434
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 1: let's see. Albert sent me this email on February tenth,

435
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: and it is currently March first, so he's probably dead

436
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 1: by now. But in case if he's not, man, just

437
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 1: fucking drink some water, Albert, drink some water. Go to sleep.

438
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just got to drink some water and go

439
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: to sleep, all right, okay? Subject line Okay, this is

440
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: from Thai subject line. I illustrated a children's book for

441
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: adults about death and included a cameo of you in it.

442
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 1: Whoa Peace Gek. My name is Titan and I'm an

443
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 1: artist from the Bronx. I recently wrote and illustrated a

444
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: children's book about death and included a little cameo of

445
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 1: you in it. I've had thoughts surrounding death since I

446
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: was eight years old, but never to the point of

447
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: action toward taking my own life. I'm twenty eight now,

448
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: and I feel this rumination on death has given me

449
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: an interesting perspective on life. I am fortunate to have

450
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: met people along my path who have had similar thoughts, struggles, philosophies,

451
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: and even solutions on how to lead a more fulfilling

452
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: and beautiful life. So I wrote and drew a little

453
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: something that I thought could help others as they've helped

454
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: me over time. Anyway, I think this might be getting

455
00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,719
Speaker 1: kind of long, and I really want you to read

456
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: my I'm gonna end it here, but I'd love to

457
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: hear your thoughts on the book whenever you get the chance. Also,

458
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: I love your show man, Thank you for you, peace

459
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: and love Titan. Let me hold on. Then this is

460
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: the page with you in it. Oh, this is cool.

461
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: This is cool. This is really cool. I know this

462
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: is an audio only show, so I can't really describe,

463
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: but basically, I'm I've got a lizard guy writing my

464
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: back the children's book. Maybe I can. Here's a link

465
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: to the physical purchase of book. Okay, here in case

466
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: if anyone wants to check out this book. It's called

467
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: One Day You Will Die, Written and illustrated by Titan,

468
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: and it's pronounced it's spelled t A I I T

469
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: A N. One Day you Will Die, Written and Illustrated

470
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: by Titan. And uh, yeah, it's on it's on Amazon.

471
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: Let's see here. That's pretty cool. Okay, I'm gonna check

472
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: this ship out. I'm gonna check this ship out. Oh,

473
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: they sent me a link to a free version of

474
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: the book. You know, it's okay, So this person sent

475
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: me this email, so a little bit more about what's

476
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: going on with me and in life is this person

477
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: sent me this email also February tenth, also like two

478
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 1: and a half weeks ago. In the past three days,

479
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: I have actually been having like tons of like insane

480
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: existential dread surrounding death. Uh. It's been actually pretty debilitating,

481
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: pretty bad. But you know, I'm about to go to

482
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: a psych and figure the shit out. So we're, uh,

483
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna we're gonna pull through. We're gonna

484
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: be we're gonna come back greater than ever. But it's

485
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: cool because this person's around my age, and it seems

486
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: as though they're they're doing pretty good job at uh,

487
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: you know, dealing with these these these difficult thoughts and feelings.

488
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: So good on, good on you, Titan. I'm gonna check

489
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: out this book. Thanks, thanks for sharing. Okay, all right,

490
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: this is from Benjamin, subject line go kart Rehab. Hey gek,

491
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,479
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you remember, but about a year

492
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: and a half ago, I called in from a Canadian

493
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: go kart rehab. I do absolutely remember you calling in

494
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: from a Canadian go kart Rehab. I figured i'd send

495
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: you an update, partly because it feels right and partly

496
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: because it's just cool to reflect on how far things

497
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 1: have come since leaving Rehab. I somehow managed to land

498
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: a full time office job with great benefits, flexible benefits,

499
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: travel management responsibility, the whole nine yards. On top of that,

500
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 1: I started a small family vending machine business. Very cool.

501
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: And I'm also working on my MBA in business analytics

502
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: because apparently I'm addicted to adding more to my plate.

503
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: I'm also gunning for a promotion to sales manager soon,

504
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: because why not. It hasn't been a smooth ride. There

505
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 1: were plenty of relapses. Actually, we lost a baby before

506
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 1: they were born. I'm sorry to hear that, which hit

507
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: harder than we could have imagined. But we also had

508
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: another kid, and just to make sure we're done with surprises,

509
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: I got the old Snip Snip about a month ago.

510
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 1: Congrats on the sect to me brother. Now we're living

511
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 1: in a beautiful, brand new house with more space than

512
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: we know what to do with. We share rent with

513
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: my mother in law and brother in law, which sounds

514
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: like the setup for a bad sitcom, but it actually works.

515
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: It lets my wife stay home with the kids while

516
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: they're young, and somehow it feels like we've carved out

517
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: a little slice of stability in the chaos. That's fucking sick, brother.

518
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm very happy to hear that a little spice of

519
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: stability in the chaos sounds like a wonderful thing. But

520
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: it has been work, so much work. I had to

521
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 1: take the discipline I picked up in rehab and apply

522
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: it in real life, failing, getting back up, failing again.

523
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 1: Even when I had relapsed and was dependent on substances again,

524
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: there were probably times should have gone back to rehab,

525
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 1: but I didn't. I just kept clawing my way forward,

526
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: one messy step at a time. I'm still an addict,

527
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: but now it's to work, school and chasing promotions to

528
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: provide for my family. But I've got to handle on

529
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: the substances. More importantly, I've got hobbies and interests that

530
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: actually make me happy instead of just numbing me out.

531
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: That's new. I still get the thoughts, though they don't disappear,

532
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: they just get quieter. Weed is still a part of

533
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 1: my life, but I'm trying to get away from it.

534
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 1: The key for me, Kaisen, what the fuck is Kaisen?

535
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm googling this Kaisen. Kaizen is a concept referring to

536
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: business activities that continually improve all functions and evolve all employees.

537
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: It translates to change for the better, change for the better.

538
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 1: The key for me kaisen continuous improvement, tiny steps forward,

539
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: even when they feel pointless, especially when they feel pointless,

540
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: is what he wrote. That's cool anyway, thanks for listening.

541
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: Back then it mattered, and if you read this now,

542
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: it still does. I'd love to chat again one take care, crazy,

543
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: get go, man. This is a really beautiful email. Man,

544
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 1: I I appreciate it. That's really nice. Yeah. Again, as

545
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 1: someone who is also kind of trying to fucking I record,

546
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: I don't. I recorded a podcast before this one that

547
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: I was gonna release today, but I decided to shelvetz

548
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: because it was I was I went on like kind

549
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: of an insane rant and it felt a little too.

550
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 1: I was crying. It was a whole thing, and I

551
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, this is going to be

552
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: art for my podcast, and you know, maybe one day

553
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: I'll share that, but I'm recording this instead. But I'll

554
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about you know. I'm again like

555
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 1: at a weird point where like life feels pointless and

556
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: fucking I'm trying to move forward and find meaning and

557
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: do all these things, and so I really enjoy reading

558
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 1: your email, Benjamin. Yeah, it's cool to hear that tiny

559
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: step forward are helping you even when they feel pointless.

560
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 1: And also again hearing that you found a little bit

561
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: of this licensability and the chaos. It's a beautiful thing, brother.

562
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 1: So congratulations Benjamin. Hopefully I'll talk to you again soon.

563
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 1: All right, all right, this is from Lewis anonymous. Hello

564
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 1: from Ireland. Yo gek, give me a fake name, Okay,

565
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: Lewis first time emailer, slash caller, but two time show

566
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: goer when you came to Dublin, Ireland, kick ass. I

567
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 1: wanted to share my current situation as I'm struggling to

568
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 1: process at all. Recently, my wife and I separated. She

569
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: has always faced mental health challenges, and she decided to

570
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: end our relationship to focus on working on herself. While

571
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: I understand and respect her decision, I can't help feeling

572
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: that we could have tried to navigate this together. She

573
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: explained that throughout our ten year relationship, I was always

574
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: there to support her through her struggles, but she now

575
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 1: feels she needs to figure things out out on her own.

576
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 1: Even though we're on good terms, the separation has left

577
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 1: me feeling lost and questioning the point of everything. We

578
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: were best friends and I truly believed we'd spend our

579
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,319
Speaker 1: lives together. Now, despite having a decent job and being

580
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: relatively young, I'm struggling with feelings of emptiness in the

581
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 1: urge to just give up. Thanks fake name, I forget

582
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: what fake name I originally gave you. Lewis Lewis. Um

583
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 1: hmmmm hmmm, ah, Lewis Lewis, Lewis, Lewis, Lewis, Lewis Lewis Man,

584
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: all these man sometimes all these phone calls and these

585
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: emails man, and then kind of comparing them to shit

586
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 1: going on in my life. It's like I just always

587
00:36:52,000 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 1: have more answer answers, more questions than answers. But let

588
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:03,879
Speaker 1: me think it, let me just try. I mean, I'm

589
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 1: not I don't have any fucking answers at all, because

590
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: I I would probably feel the exact fucking same way

591
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: if I was in your position as well. Hmm, I

592
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe maybe the whole point is to just

593
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 1: not give up. Maybe that's the whole point is to

594
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 1: just fucking through the end, through all eighty years whatever,

595
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 1: if you're lucky enough to get eighty fucking years. Uh,

596
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: just keep fucking going and keep fucking trying. I mean

597
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: that not I keep bringing it back to me, but

598
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: that's that's the only frame of reference that I have.

599
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: Is like, Uh, when I'm struggling with feelings of emptiness

600
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: in the urge to give up, I'm just like, you know,

601
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: I'm a big like, let me do something about my

602
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: fucking problems guy. Uh. And so I'm coming up with plans,

603
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: I'm trying things, I'm executing stuff. Maybe because it might

604
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: take a little while, right, you might be like, all right,

605
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: I just gotta hit the fucking gym and start over

606
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: and do this and do that. And maybe you try

607
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of shit and it doesn't fucking work.

608
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: Maybe you spend a whole year trying a bunch of

609
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 1: different shit and it doesn't fucking work, And then you

610
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: just keep trying, and you just keep trying, and just

611
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: keep trying, and you just keep trying, and you just

612
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 1: keep trying, and you just keep trying. You just fucking

613
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: don't fucking let yourself fall into the trap of emptiness

614
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: and the void, and you don't let yourself fucking drown,

615
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: and you just fucking God. And it's hard, it's the

616
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 1: fucking hardest goddamn thing, but you just keep fucking God

617
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: dag fucking Okay, I'll do it again. Okay, I'll do

618
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: it again. Okay, Okay, okay, okay, Jesus Christ. And then

619
00:38:56,239 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 1: either you'll die and nothing and it will, you know whatever, uh,

620
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 1: or maybe some maybe fucking you'll you'll you'll through trying

621
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 1: different things, different remedies, going out, leaving your house, eating

622
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: an apple, whatever, maybe you find something that goddamn works.

623
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 1: The brain is very uh neuroplastic. Is that the word

624
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 1: you said? You're young too. I think it's more neuroplastic

625
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 1: when you're young. But bro, I mean that's where I'm at,

626
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 1: right is I'm like, uh, okay, I you know, if

627
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 1: you feel like you're at a bizarre dead end and

628
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 1: you're just staring at a fucking wall, you just gotta

629
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 1: knock around and you gotta leave your safe space, I guess,

630
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 1: and just knock and kick and fucking see what the

631
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 1: fuck is. Maybe there's a trap door. Maybe there's because

632
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 1: that's what it takes, right is it takes some new

633
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: action that gets you out of your head to remind

634
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 1: yourself you're alive. I'll tell a quick story. I told

635
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: this on the podcast that I didn't release, that I

636
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: was ranting and going insane on But I have been

637
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: in Japan, and like I've been talking about a little bit,

638
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:20,800
Speaker 1: I've had this kind of like insane existential crisis lately

639
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: where I've just been like preoccupied with fucking death and

640
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: despair and like crazy shit. And yeah, it got really

641
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 1: bad of it the last three days and so I

642
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I need to just leave. I need

643
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 1: to just keep trying shit and leave the house and whatever.

644
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: And so I went to this cafe. It was called

645
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: the English Only Cafe, and they were having like a

646
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: little like meetup event. I like a shout out meetup

647
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: dot com great for finding shit to do. And honestly, dude, honestly, dude,

648
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: if anyone listening to this, if you're feeling empty and

649
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 1: you're feeling insane, you're feeling lone, what I This is

650
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: what I do when I'm feeling that way is I

651
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 1: go on meetup and I'm just like, let me find

652
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: a thing to go to and let me try to

653
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: talk to people at this thing. And sometimes it doesn't work,

654
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 1: it's a little hit or mess. But when it does work,

655
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: and when I am able to do that, I feel

656
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: fucking great because I tried to get out of the

657
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 1: goddamn house and I tried to form some new thing

658
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: in my brain to make it feel like, you know,

659
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: life's not over right. And so anyway, I went to

660
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: this English meet up and I there was this table,

661
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: and I went and I sat down at the table

662
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 1: and I just started like chatting with these folks and

663
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: I chatted, you know, but I chatted with people and

664
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 1: I was talking. I was talking to this guy and

665
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 1: he was telling me about like his life, and he

666
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: was telling about like trying to find a girlfriend, and

667
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: he was kind of like he was talking about his

668
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 1: life and it kind of felt like I was doing

669
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: an episode of the Therapy Get Goo podcast, except I

670
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 1: was just like doing it for fun and joy, not

671
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: be not to make a fucking podcast. And that felt great,

672
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,439
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh shit, I forgot that deep

673
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: in my like deep in my soul, is somebody who

674
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 1: I really just believe this that I really fucking do

675
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: in my gut like life and like people and things

676
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 1: just happen, dude, that that uh take me away from

677
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: that that fill my gut with like emptiness, and I

678
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 1: just use fog. And then sometimes if you get out

679
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: of bed and you go do something new that you

680
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 1: didn't usually do, and you put yourself out there and

681
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: you try to introduce yourself to new stimuli, it comes.

682
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: It fucking comes back to you. So I'm at this

683
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: event and I'm talking to this guy and I'm just like,

684
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 1: you know, ah, chatting with him, and I'm chatting with

685
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 1: other people at the fucking meet up thing, and I'm like, oh,

686
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: I forgot that. I forgot that I have all this

687
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 1: stuff that's that is me. And I felt a little

688
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: bit more connected to myself in that moment. And it's

689
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: always really triumphant to go from feeling hopeless to having

690
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,359
Speaker 1: a little moment where you're like, Okay, all is not gone.

691
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: My brain continues to have the capacity to feel good,

692
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 1: you know. So yeah, that's just again, that's just you know,

693
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 1: I forget what I fake name I gave you. And

694
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,879
Speaker 1: I also know that I'm not even really talking about

695
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: your email anymore. I'm just trying to relate to it.

696
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 1: But how do you beat the urge to give up?

697
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. Go on, go on meetup and fucking

698
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: try to talk to some folks or do something new.

699
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,759
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I guess that's it. Just try

700
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,879
Speaker 1: and trying new shit. Just knocking at the fucking door.

701
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: That's what I'm trying, dude. I don't know. I don't

702
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: know if any of the shit I'm saying makes any sense,

703
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: but it's just it's just what I'm trying. All right.

704
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: This is from Evan. Subject line I got fired from

705
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: my dream job on my thirtieth birthday and life has

706
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,760
Speaker 1: never been better. Ooh, all right, this is an email

707
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: I need today. This is from Evan, subject line hey gek.

708
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 1: Oh wait, no, this is not. I already read the

709
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: subject line, hey gek. I'm a wheelder fabricate welder, fabricator

710
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: and built heavy equipment for nearly a decade leading up

711
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 1: to my thirtieth birthday. I had always done some custom

712
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: fabrication and artwork out of my home shop and really

713
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 1: wanted to pursue my dreams. I found a small shop

714
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 1: that was a two man team and decided to quit

715
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: my safe job to go work for them in the

716
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: hopes of finding mentorship. After two weeks, it was clear

717
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 1: they had a poor attitude towards someone who was still learning,

718
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: and I was confirmed when on my birthday the following

719
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: week they fired me because I was not what they

720
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: were looking for. Honestly, it was the best thing that

721
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: ever happened to me. So many people are afraid to

722
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: finally start their dream, waiting for a mentor to help

723
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: them get their start. Mmm. I decided to say fuck

724
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 1: it and just start building cool stuff out of my

725
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: home shop and even started learning how to film and

726
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: edit video to put them on my YouTube channel to

727
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: help drum up more work. This past year, I built

728
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: custom furniture, took a massive road trip in fifty year

729
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 1: old cars with my friends and girlfriend, built a thirty

730
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 1: foot long animatronic Beetle Juice sand Worm. Holy shit, he

731
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 1: has a picture of the Beatles Juice Samworm. That's insane.

732
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,360
Speaker 1: Did a ton of racecar fab for fantastic customers, and

733
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 1: now I'm just finishing off a custom race car that

734
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,280
Speaker 1: I started for an amazing client, as well as rescued

735
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 1: a sick dog who needed several surgeries, all of which

736
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: I couldn't do if I wasn't working for myself. My

737
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 1: advice for everyone would be that the life. My advice

738
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: for everyone would be that your life is just going

739
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,280
Speaker 1: to be hard, regardless if you choose the safe options

740
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 1: or if you try something crazy and fail. Don't give up.

741
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 1: Do what you love. And if someone tells you you

742
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 1: don't deserve to be in the room with all your heroes,

743
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: feel free to nail the door shut. Much love, Evan,

744
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: Thanks Evan, This is a cool email, man. I really

745
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: like this. It's again, you know, at a time in

746
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: which I'm you know, I turned twenty seven recently and

747
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 1: I think it's weighing on me in weird ways, and

748
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: so you know, I'm I'm honored to get to read

749
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 1: your fucking email and here that you've gotten to, you know,

750
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:46,720
Speaker 1: really live a beautiful, fucking awesome life starting at thirty.

751
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 1: And you know that's really cool. Man. Congratulations. Congratulations is awesome.

752
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: Oh please check out his YouTube channel, Enemy metal Works.

753
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 1: Let me I'm actually gonna check. Let me check this

754
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: out real quick, Enemy metal Works. Look at this fucking

755
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: guy workshop, No bake pumpkin spiced cheesecake at three am

756
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 1: with power tools? What a homie dude. This is a

757
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: cool guy. Yeah, go check out his YouTube channel, Enemy

758
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 1: Metal Works. Oh yeah, oh we had a video pop

759
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: off four point three cave UWS kick ass rock and roll.

760
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: All right, um yeah, thank you for sharing. Evan. Uh.

761
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: Let's see here all right. This is from Faith subject

762
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 1: line Alaska and alcohol. What's up, gek? The start of

763
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: this year has been a crazy one. January first, I

764
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: arrived in Anchorage, Alaska from Nashville from Asheville, North Carolina.

765
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,800
Speaker 1: I traveled up here. Okay, I arrived in Anchorage, Alaska

766
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: from Asheville, North Carolina bank. I traveled up here with

767
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:00,839
Speaker 1: my boyfriend of two years because he has a great

768
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: job opportunity and he invited me along. I brought my dog,

769
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: She's a Pitbull Docson mix, and she did better on

770
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 1: the planes than I thought. Anyway, a few days after

771
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 1: we got to Alaska, I had too much to drink

772
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 1: and ended up in jail. That's interesting. I only stayed

773
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: a night, but it was the worst experience of my life.

774
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: I still have a pending case, so I won't even

775
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: know the what is it? I still have a pending case,

776
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: so I won't be detailing the Oh Oh sorry, I'm

777
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 1: reading the email RNG. Okay, wor's the experience of my life.

778
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:33,800
Speaker 1: I still have a pending case, so I won't be

779
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 1: detailing the events, though I do have stipulations stating that

780
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: I cannot drink. Understandably, I am twenty one years old

781
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 1: and I've had an alcohol problem for a few years now.

782
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 1: It's hard to stay away from it, even though I

783
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 1: know I cause trouble when I drink. My boyfriend has

784
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: been supportive, but he's losing patience with me. I feel

785
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: like I'm a magnet for chaos. Any thoughts for me? Uh,

786
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 1: just start listening to your podcasts, keep doing what you do.

787
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, Faith, Any thoughts for you? I'm gonna guess

788
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: stop drinking. I've had an alcohol problem for a few

789
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: years now. Well, I don't want to say stop drink.

790
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to just I take that back, just stop. Well,

791
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 1: I mean I don't take back stop drinking, but I

792
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 1: take back I don't. I don't mean to trivialize the issue,

793
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: right hm, honest, honest to God, Faith, my faith. My

794
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: honest answer is just like if I were you, and

795
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 1: if I was in this situation and I was having

796
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,799
Speaker 1: problem with accohoab. I mean, just gotta get help, right,

797
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 1: You gotta go to AA or or go see a

798
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: fucking therapist or uh, you know, try to go to

799
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: a rehab or something. I know it's I know it's

800
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,399
Speaker 1: hard to find the like resources to do that ship,

801
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: but you just gotta get help, dude. You gotta get

802
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 1: like real fucking help from uh uh professional people who

803
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 1: help people get off of substances. That's what you gotta do.

804
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 1: Just I guess, just fucking I guess faith to just

805
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: decide that you're gonna fucking figure it out right, and again,

806
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 1: kind of similar to the little spiel I went on

807
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 1: about the brick wall, is like, just decide you want

808
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 1: to fucking be better. You want I mean, you want

809
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 1: to you wanna fucking uh get better, You want to

810
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 1: beat your problem. You know, just decide you want to

811
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 1: beat this fucking thing, and uh spend every waking second

812
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,439
Speaker 1: that you can working on how to do it, whether

813
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: that's getting professional help or researching online how to detox

814
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 1: yourself or whatever. I think it's just a matter of

815
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 1: like deciding for yourself that you're going to prioritize getting

816
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 1: rid of the problem so that you can you know,

817
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: go on to live a better life. Uh, that's just

818
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 1: what I would do. That's just that's again I keep

819
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: bringing everything back to me. But that's because I can

820
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 1: only speak from my own life. I don't really feel

821
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 1: inclined to be able to judge other people's lives or

822
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: tell other people what they should do. But you know,

823
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: when I have problems, I mean, that's kind of how

824
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 1: I try to approach them. Let's see. Okay, okay. This

825
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 1: is from Dan subject Line Welsh synth Wizard, Oh dear

826
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:44,400
Speaker 1: Lyle parentheses Therapy, Gecko shoe May. I hail from Wales

827
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 1: in my early thirties. I have a stable job, I

828
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 1: can drive, I live with my parents, have a dog,

829
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,359
Speaker 1: and help take care of my sick grandmother who also

830
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 1: lives here and needs twenty four to seven care. This aside,

831
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,800
Speaker 1: I have a lot of independence, a great relationship with

832
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: my family and friends. I pay rent and I have

833
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 1: no issues supporting them right now. I had a girlfriend.

834
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: She was fun, high energy, but chaotic and unpredictable, and

835
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 1: after nearly a year, she broke up with me on

836
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: my birthday and said she was moving in with another guy.

837
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 1: Even gaslighted me that we weren't even a relationship, and

838
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: then after all that gave me presents that was rough.

839
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 1: Ultimately I had to cut contact with her, but despite everything,

840
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: I don't regret meeting her. Maybe trust issues to deal

841
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: with for now. On dating apps again, but no success

842
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 1: so far. I get matches, but often they fizzle out

843
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: by the time I arrange a meetup. It feels like

844
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: applying for jobs. It is absolutely like applying for jobs.

845
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 1: That all said, I have no rush to get a girlfriend.

846
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 1: Single life is good and I'm happy. That's fucking wonderful.

847
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 1: I write a lot, play D and D with a

848
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: bunch of people. I also joined a walking club near me,

849
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 1: and I make music in my spare time, like Dungeon Synth,

850
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: which is doing okay on YouTube nearly three k views.

851
00:52:55,680 --> 00:53:01,240
Speaker 1: Look up at Angels Sore Welsh Dungeon Synth on YouTube

852
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 1: if you want a lot of self promotion on this episode,

853
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,479
Speaker 1: but I don't mind. I like it. If anyone gets

854
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:10,439
Speaker 1: any sort of runoff folks from this podcast into whatever

855
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:14,919
Speaker 1: fucking thing they're doing, I'm happy about it. Angels Sore

856
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 1: A n G E L Y S t O R

857
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 1: Welsh Dungeon Synth. Anyway, I could easily dwell on misery

858
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 1: how I'm not where I should be. But your podcast

859
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 1: is great. It teaches about gratitude and what I have

860
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: good right now. I'm so it's so fucking funny because

861
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 1: the life I feel, like the life of this podcast

862
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 1: and the life of like what goes on in my

863
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 1: own like actual brain is difference, you know, because I

864
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:48,760
Speaker 1: always forget, because it's I always forget to be grateful

865
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: and I always forget to do all this shit. So

866
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,360
Speaker 1: it's actually kind of it's actually kind of cool and

867
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: interesting to you know, talk a whole bunch of shit

868
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 1: on my podcast and then people reflect it back at me,

869
00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:59,479
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, ah, fuck, all right, I gotta

870
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 1: do these things. Is that I'm It's weird. It almost

871
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,399
Speaker 1: feels like I'm looking in a mirror in a weird

872
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: way of like I'm putting all this ship out into

873
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: the world and then and then it comes back at me. Anyway, Uh,

874
00:54:12,840 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 1: there is an all pervading happiness under everything. It's a

875
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 1: matter of perspective. I agree, you're the best lyle. No,

876
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 1: You're the fucking best Welsh synth wizard. Thanks man, This

877
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 1: is cool. This is a cool email. This All these

878
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: emails are like hitting me. All these emails are hitting

879
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 1: the fucking spot today. Yeah. Like I said, I I

880
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 1: recorded kind of a crazy rant episode where I shared

881
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 1: a lot of fucked up stuff going on with with

882
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 1: my brain right now. I decided I didn't want to

883
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: share it, but so I'm recording this now. It's because

884
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 1: I got to put out an episode. Uh. And it's

885
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 1: funny how all the emails are are kind of like

886
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 1: on on theme in a sense to you know, just

887
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: like trying to like enjoy life. I suppose this is cool.

888
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 1: I really fuck with this email the shout at Dan

889
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: the Welsh synth wizard. All right, let's see, all right,

890
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: this is from Kimberly, subject line how do I start

891
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 1: a majen club? Plus a recommendation for you. Hey, Gek,

892
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 1: I love listening to your stuff. Come to Milwaukee again,

893
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 1: and I'll buy tickets despite the wild Ticketmaster fees. Ah fuck.

894
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 1: All right. Well, I'm trying to take two of your

895
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 1: Gecko teachings to heart. One is redirecting my energy towards

896
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,800
Speaker 1: things that are more important. Aka the grass is greener

897
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: where you water it. This has helped me from making

898
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:49,839
Speaker 1: some very This has helped me from making some very big,

899
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,800
Speaker 1: stupid decisions in my life. So thank you. Did I

900
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 1: say that this is crazy, I'm telling you, folks, I'm

901
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 1: telling you it's crazy. I say a whole bunch of

902
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:00,800
Speaker 1: shit to people on my podcast, and then I go

903
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: into my real life and my real brain and it's

904
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: it's it's it's all on fire, and it is a

905
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: kind of psychedelic situation to come back and see, uh,

906
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 1: you know what's going on? You know, just have have

907
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 1: all my shit reflected back in me. The grass is

908
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:18,879
Speaker 1: grainer where you water it. I mean, it is true.

909
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:22,800
Speaker 1: It is true to foster a community. That's you know.

910
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 1: That's another thing. I play majong online, but I want

911
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 1: to play it with real people. The only majng clubs

912
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 1: in my area are fifty people fifty five plus and

913
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 1: they only meet during the workday. I want to start

914
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 1: a Majong club, but I don't know how. Networking shouldn't

915
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 1: be too much of an issue, but I'm stuck on

916
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 1: the logistics where to host it. Mostly, I'm not inviting

917
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: strangers into a house that isn't even mine. Any help

918
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: would be awesome. One last thing for you. Watch The

919
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 1: Tale of Princess Kagua, You'll never feel so good about

920
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 1: feeling like shit. I get the sense of euphoria from

921
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: just existing. Now. I remember what a privilege it is

922
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 1: to be alive and to be able to feel things.

923
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: Even the miser. Take its message to heart. It'll change you.

924
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,439
Speaker 1: Thanks million. Okay, all right, maybe I actually we'll watch

925
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 1: this shit, the Tale of Princess Kagua. What is this?

926
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to google this, let's see. All right, cool,

927
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna check this out anyway. How do I start

928
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: a moja club? I mean meetup is great for that shit? Uh,

929
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: definitely in for meetup. Where do you host it? Uh? Well,

930
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, Milwaukee has a ton of great bars.

931
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: And why don't you try to find a bar that's

932
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 1: like slow on a what it says it's only weekdays?

933
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 1: I mean, why don't you try like a bar or

934
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 1: a coffee shop or a cafe. Right, That's what I

935
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 1: would do, is I would find like a I'm sure

936
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 1: Milwaukee has a hipster coffee shop cafe shit that you

937
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 1: could like, uh ask if you know, maybe on a

938
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 1: Monday morning or something like that, you could do a

939
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 1: little majong club and then you can just promote it

940
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: on meetup and Facebook and Instagram and all that shit.

941
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 1: That's my recommendation for you. Good on you for doing

942
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:14,560
Speaker 1: a club. I like that. That's that's again fostering a

943
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 1: community through through doing shit like this. It's it's, it's

944
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 1: I think it's the key to life. All right. I

945
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna do one more e mail subject line

946
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 1: thinking about getting a a day. Okay, hey man, it's brody.

947
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 1: All right, Sorry, hey man, it's brody. I'm currently in

948
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 1: college and spend most of my day on campus. I

949
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: hate using the bathrooms because I used to do terrible

950
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: things in the bathroom in my youth. Uh, shit on

951
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 1: the seat and leave it, etc. Okay, anyway, so I

952
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 1: hate using the school bathrooms. But yesterday I had a

953
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: bad case of bubble guts and had to hit the bathroom,

954
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 1: as most men do. I have hair all down there,

955
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: and today I happen to have a semi solid shit storm.

956
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: This is the email that I'm ending on. I'm not

957
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: reading any more emails. After this. I went to wipe

958
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,960
Speaker 1: and it got everywhere. I wiped it all on my

959
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 1: ass hair on accident, and it got in my damn

960
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 1: hand I'm getting real sick of this happening and I'm stuck.

961
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 1: Do I shave my ass hair is like a weirdo?

962
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 1: Or get a bidet? Please help? Uh? Interesting, you know

963
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: it's funny. Anytime I have shaved my ass hairs in

964
00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 1: the past, it just causes itching like fucking crazy. Brother,

965
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: it causes itching like fucking crazy. I would recommend getting

966
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 1: a bi day. I don't have one in New York,

967
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 1: but I've been in Tokyo for the past two months

968
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 1: and bidets are sick. I don't know how we live

969
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 1: without them. You gotta, I think I was. When I

970
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 1: first started using a bidet, I was a little hesitant

971
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: towards it's letting the water really shove itself up my ass.

972
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: But now, uh, you know, my asshole embraces uh having

973
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: having a water gun UH squirted directly into it, and

974
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: I suggest you embrace it too. Uh. Folks, that's been

975
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 1: gek mail. Thank you all very much for listening to

976
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 1: this show. Uh. If you wanna submit an email, please

977
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 1: send an email to therapy geckomail at gmail dot com.

978
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 1: That's therapy geckomail at gmail dot com. I think it's

979
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 1: therapy gecko mail. At gmail dot com. I'm probably gonna

980
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 1: be doing a lot more of these gek mail episodes.

981
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying them. They're fun. There there's sometimes when I

982
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 1: sometimes I need a break from talking to people on

983
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,880
Speaker 1: the phone and I just need to rant into a

984
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 1: microphone for an hour. So I'll be doing a lot

985
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 1: more gek mail. Send an email to therapy geckomail at

986
01:00:55,720 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Thank you all for listening, and uh please,

987
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: dear God, come to my little art gallery. It's it

988
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:11,920
Speaker 1: is on March fourteenth, seven pm to ten pm. Trash

989
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 1: from around my room. It's on display actually March fourteenth

990
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 1: to the twenty second, so if you if you miss it,

991
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: you can go see it. And yeah you can RSVP.

992
01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 1: There's a little link in the episode description. And thank

993
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: you guys all for listening to my podcast. Good luck,

994
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, and take care bye.

995
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: Everyone goes on the line taking your phone calls every

996
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 1: nine never goes to him. Just teaching you cloud on

997
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 1: the memory of Linny Expert